preservationofnormalcy

[preservationofnormalcy]

I am a renimated skull, as I had lost my body a couple decades ago due to an incident with a car and a vindictive wizard. I am struggling to find housing accommodations, is there anyway you can help?

Absolutely. You’ll want to contact Life After Life, a support group for people who are differently alive. They’ll help in the short term with accommodations and such - in my experience they’ll often find you a “partner” or roommate (tombmate?) that can help you with things. That’s often why vampires have undead friends around who can go out in the sun without discomfort.

In the long term, you’ll also want to talk to them about legal advice RE: wizard vehicular skeleton-slaughter. The statue of limitations has probably run out on this particular crime but they’ll know what your options are. You might be able to extract some compensation from this wizard.

Remember people: “a wizard did it” doesn’t mean the wizard is getting off scott free. It’s called “wizpop” for a reason.

Can I ask him how he typed this out?

I think that’s rude.

I mean I’m in a similar -

Norm.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask #advice #undead

[preservationofnormalcy]

So I have a question, are living mannequin people...evil? I'm in Newville in the woods rn and there's this mannequin that's been moving about every time I look away but it isn't getting closer? It just moves place from place every time I blink. Should I be worried? I'm in my car rn with the doors locked...can mannequins break off a car door?

Asking if they can be “evil” is a bit of a loaded question.

Any animated object with sentience has the capacity to act in ways that are broadly beneficial or harmful. A lot of them act in harmful ways because they simply haven’t been told what’s right or wrong. Humans or other classifications have an entire childhood to learn these things - entities thrust into sapience often don’t. They’re lost and confused, and we should help them. This was part of my “Objects in Motion” PSA campaign, I might add.

….oh, right. The short term. Uh. Have you tried writing on the inside of the door? Maybe it can read.

We’ll send out a LEP Recon First Contact team. Try not to blink overly much.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask #advice

[preservationofnormalcy]

Ooc: might post today, might not - I’m at the Calgary expo! If you’re there, say hi!

#ooc post

[preservationofnormalcy]

So are the four horsemen just a way to represent their names (like, is Famine just a kind of metaphor for famine) or are they like… actual dudes.

(please let it be just a metaphor-)

It is the policy of the Office that the Four Horsemen (and other psychopompic or eschatological entities) do not represent an authority that we actually recognize as having any say in the realm they claim to represent.

When they ride, it’s not their decision to make what happens to Earth, or indeed realspace in general. It’s ours.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask

[preservationofnormalcy]

#ooc post #physical media #for the expo tomorrow #have to rep both my US side and new Canadian home #RCOE

[preservationofnormalcy]

Sale for the expo!

Hey everyone! (Including a lot of new followers!)

I'm running a sale until the 28th to help me advertise for the Calgary Expo on the 27th! I won't have a table but I'll be there to meet people and network with these free sticker packs. (There's ten varieties of these B&W stickers, five are shown here.) Let me know if you happen to be going!

Use the link below for 10% off full color posters, and all orders made until the 28th will get one of the free sticker sample packs!

Remember that I have new listings for budget poster options shipped in a flat envelope (8.5x11 min posters or folded 11x17s) or rolled for the larger size. (The budget posters don't have the discount, unfortunately, but will come with the stickers.) I also have my new zine if you want to have some in-universe writing from OPN.

#reblogging because this'll end sunday night! #orders should ship early next week

[preservationofnormalcy]

Attention readers!

During events where extranormal people are likely to attend, we will be sending out LEP Recon Field Agents to remind everyone that an "expo" or "convention" is no excuse to be lax on glamours, masking, and veil-preservation guidelines. Here is our updated ticket LEP Recon Field Agents will be carrying.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #documents #expo 2024 #OOC: let's see if I have the courage to actually do this tomorrow ahaha

[preservationofnormalcy]

A family moved in down the street last month. This sounds normal, but they're suspiciously close to one in a story I'm writing. I made a character last year with the exact family. Did I somehow predict this family's arrival, or have there been any past cases of peoples' fictional creations coming to life?

We call this "parafictional" manifestation, and you can learn more by clicking on the parafiction tag my intern Jenny will append to this post. The short version is that this does happen but we have to be careful. The vast majority of the times this happens, especially with a fictional property only one person know about (like this personal project you have) these aren't truly self-aware entities that have manifested - these are lures.

Some entities like Outsider behavior patterns feed on the human capacity for creativity (has a lot to do with emotions involved with creative expression being particularly attractive to psychophagics) and to harvest that, they'll exploit your own thoughts and creations. Either to feed on you psychically, or literally.

Be careful. You obviously don't want to assume these new neighbors are automatically harmful in this way - it could just be a big coincidence - but there's a few things you can do.

Ask another creative neighbor about them. These things will be a mirror, typically. They'll reflect what the viewer already has in mind. You might see these folks as Mr and Mrs Smith from your book, but your neighbor might see them as Mr and Mrs Takahashi from the manga he's working on.

You could also very gently ask them some nonsense questions. If this is a lure, it'll also be a "chinese room" - an entity that is able to mimic human conversations simply by examining textual data en masse and regurgitating what the response is likely or expected to be without actually understanding it. You might feel silly, but try asking a nonsense question, like if the sky feels glarble or if nods yon today. If they just raise an eyebrow, green flag. If they try and respond without breaking stride, red flag.

If you get a couple red flags that way, send us another message. We'll send someone out.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask #advice #parafiction

[preservationofnormalcy]

Hey guess what those doodles were for!

I made a shaker charm and now I can't stop.

before they got imprisoned

#fan art #I’ve been kind of shock since seeing this #art is of course flattering but making something physical is blowing me away #I’m in shock that anyone likes my little stories (and Jenny’s writer’s) enough that they made a thing #it’s something special #side note. sorry I’ve been so quiet. was busy this last week but also the writers block hitting hard #trying to be positive

[preservationofnormalcy]

Norm

#fan art #norm #omg #I am being purposefully evasive on norm's physical condition but I love this

[preservationofnormalcy]

I figured out what I’m wearing for the expo on Saturday.

#ooc post #physical media #this probably won’t be for sale #also quiet because today was a date day with my wife #we did tie dye 🥰

[preservationofnormalcy]

Jenny opn, silly little doidles

I need opinions on expression and pose pls pls pls

#fan art #we love that the mothman antennae are a thing for her #Inherited them non-genetically

[preservationofnormalcy]

You OK Norm? You seem a bit… out of it

Yeah, I'm...okay. I think I just needed more sleep. Sorry about that, folks. I hope you enjoyed Jenny's time in the spotlight!

On the plus side, my friend looked through my things and found my copy of Another Day In Paradise! I'm having someone in Archival bring me a record player. Has Jenny even seen a vinyl?

#and this was such a fun thing to edit together. #I should do more stuff like this

[preservationofnormalcy]

You mentioned the group Heaven Sent before- could you tell me about that?

Gladly! I am the biggest Heaven Sent fan but they’re all but forgotten now.

Imagine, if you will, a small Norman in the late 1980s. I used to go to my older cousin’s place a lot. He was a little too laid back, if you get my meaning, having dropped out of both ETCetRA and Andromeda Starlight’s witchery program. But he had the best taste in music. I used to listen to his records all day. He had the classics of course, but being a magic user himself he had a few copies of extranormal musical artists. My second favorite was Absentia Ad Astra, but my absolute favorite was Heaven Sent.

Heaven Sent was formed in 1971, a three-member R&B girl group, all of whom were angels. The circumstances of their exit from Paradise is a little murky, but they seemed to not hold a special grudge towards other angels and were still quite popular among them. They swept the underground funk scene in the 1970s, singing about both the struggles of being an Angel on Earth as well as interactions with the wider extranormal community. I can’t find my copy of their first vinyl album, but here’s the track list:

Heaven Sent - Another Day in Paradise

Another Day in Paradise

Can't Have My Name

He's A Devil (But He's Mine)

Ain't Breaking This Spell

Can't Turn Back Time

Raph, Mike, Gabe (Heartthrobs)

Secrets, Secrets

War's Over, Baby (Let's Make Love, Not War)

Man At The Office

They’re most famous for Another Day In Paradise, but I like Man At The Office for….obvious reasons. I wish I was around to see them live! I’ll try and find my copy of their album.

#reblogging because I'm thinking about Heaven Sent again. I should write lyrics

[preservationofnormalcy]

Hey, glowing ball of light on my yard. Not normal. No physical presence. Do you guys need to get out here or should I just wait it out?

It's just light energy. Seemingly sunlight. Mostly a nuisance, it's not burning anything. Just a bright ball. I tried to cover it but the tarp just kinda went through it. So yeah. Or of ideas other than "build a box around it".

Hm, sunlight. I’d be careful, sunlight is nothing if not the byproduct of a massive nuclear reaction. I’d keep your distance and watch the grass or plants nearby. If it seems okay, it might be safe enough to go near it. Still be careful. If you’ve got a Geiger counter handy (and everyone should!) test it out.

We’ll send someone out, but in the meantime, you might feel it necessary to, yes, build a box around it. But not just any box. You’re going to want to get copper mesh and construct a faraday cage. It’s actually sold as a pest control tool, but you can use it as an apotropiac in a pinch!

You’d be surprised how often faraday cages work. In this cage you can probably just put a table under it and line a cardboard box in the mesh, then put it over top. Or failing that, put it on your windows.

I need to find the pamphlet I made ages ago. Apotropiacs And You: Protection 101! Jenny, can you —

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask #advice

[preservationofnormalcy]

Sale for the expo!

Hey everyone! (Including a lot of new followers!)

I'm running a sale until the 28th to help me advertise for the Calgary Expo on the 27th! I won't have a table but I'll be there to meet people and network with these free sticker packs. (There's ten varieties of these B&W stickers, five are shown here.) Let me know if you happen to be going!

Use the link below for 10% off full color posters, and all orders made until the 28th will get one of the free sticker sample packs!

Remember that I have new listings for budget poster options shipped in a flat envelope (8.5x11 min posters or folded 11x17s) or rolled for the larger size. (The budget posters don't have the discount, unfortunately, but will come with the stickers.) I also have my new zine if you want to have some in-universe writing from OPN.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ooc post #physical media #shop sale #ko fi shop

[preservationofnormalcy]

So some cult looking person snuck up on me while I was looking for my drone that ran out of battery over a wheat field. They snuck up behind me and said some weird stuff. It might have been Latin? I'm not sure. I punched them because I was startled and they just vanished right after my fist made contact. Now I'm having lucid dreams where I'm just stuck in a black room with the cult person staring at me for 8 or so hours.

Is there any way I can fix this before I go to sleep again as sitting in that room for 8 hours is incredibly boring.

Grabbing my files. Or Jenny is. She's my hands, since - well. She's my hands.

S for Sleep cults, subfolder 'empty room', there should be a sticky note there -- yeah. That has a code on it. Look at the first letters in each word and follow the letter pattern for the next series of folders. Then there's a zipper pouch, and a key. Top drawer of the desk.

Okay, I'll admit this one is a little obtuse and I have no explanation.

Back to our question. I can't tell you much since I don't even know it myself, but I've seen this before. Once. You're going to want to memorize these phrases.

"How is the Star?"

"Can you feel the edge of it?"

"The Father lives alone, the Mother has a friend."

"Stitching occurs. Repairs are being made. Worry not."

"We lost. There are consequences."

That's what they're looking for. We don't know what they mean, don't ask me how we figured this out.

Also, don't look up, don't look under your chair and for the love of god do not try and keep track of the time. It's not eight hours.

It is not eight hours. Do not keep track of the time.

#office for the preservation of normalcy #ask #advice