Look at us, living lives we canāt wait to tell our future kids about
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In hindsight, itās all so nice to say
But at the time it was all a nightmare
āOh I did this and this in the year 2022ā
It doesnāt do justice to what I went through
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If life is a dream
What a beautiful dream it is
How lucky am I,
That my soul gets to experience all of this
The wonder, the light, the heartache
If it is a dream
It is still an experience of the soul
And I am grateful for it.
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A man starts painting in two thousand and three
Refiguring his life 2 years before me
Iām now 18 & young, the whole world at my hands
But thereās an old man at the porch overlooking his land
And thereās children being born
Itās her first day of school
And thereās a middle aged woman sitting at the pool
And I like to think about my future plans
While others hopes have been dashed to the sand
And thereās people before
And the people at hand
And the people who passed it all on to us.
But I donāt think about it enough.
I donāt think about it enough.
The wind is blowing on a February night.
And Iām cleaning my room; it was a hideous sight.
Photos line the walls of all the places Iāve been
Oh to think Iāll never see them again
And it hurts to think of all the things Iāve screwed up
Growing up, getting older, the weather just feels colder
And thereās people before
And the people at hand
And the people who passed it all on to us.
But I donāt think about it enough.
I donāt think about it enough.
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NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY
I love all things that are golden.
The warm light on the walls.
The summer sun falling on the yellow fields.
My sisterās curls and her bright laugh.
Conversations as the evening burns away.
The glow that fills the car mid July on a road trip.
Your warm brown eyes.
The color of my coffee.
The filters on my pictures,
And sitting on the concrete as our lives stand still.
Do you miss it all? The gold?
When I see the golden things come, I know they will not be here forever. It is not like our world to keep such things.
One day.
One day when the world changes.
The gold will be ours and all its splendor.
But not today.
For nothing gold can stay.
Nothing gold can stay.
The summer is over nowā¦
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I donāt want it to always be summer
Iām fine with that
But I look for summer in everything
I look for light
On the walls, in the morning, in traveling in people and as it leaks onto the walls
In photographs, music, books, skiesā¦
I donāt want to escape the winter, the cold seasons that build us, that make me long for the sun even more
But I think about summer every day.
And the thing is, when itās summer I donāt forget the winter. I donāt live in bliss and eternal sunshine.
I live in summer like a temporary heaven. Like I was invited to visit for a short time, and I walk in it like a guest, a guest in a house I will one day live in. Admiring every corner and room, every sun puddle and cranny.
I walk in the Moscow summers in awe of the way the sun rays make everything sweeter; the grass, the breeze, our smiles. Iced coffee and better times. Dogs and cats basking in the sun. Theyāve waited for this too. They fought through winter for this small glimpse, this glance.
I will gladly fight through the winters, for they make me better. And not a second of summer is wasted on me; I know what a heaven it is.
Idaho, I have known your Julys. How ever could I forget?
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Let the light in šŖ½šÆļø
These have been my favorite kind of photos recently. C.S. Lewis talks about the concept of ānorthernnessā which he describes as that aching feeling you get when you see the light pour through the trees a certain way, someone you love laughing, the wind in the treesā¦ anything that makes your soul yearn for something more. He attributes this to our finite bodies with eternal souls, and when we see anything that gives us this northernness, itās because we are seeing a glimpse of heaven. I feel like these photos capture the feeling we get as the light pours into our everyday life, and we canāt help but long for something more.
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