She says that everything is either justified or unjustified. It has to be, she says, like it’s obvious, like it’s necessary.
But some things are just things. They mean nothing. To say something is justified is to say that it was right or is at least acceptable. To say something is unjustified is to say that it is wrong and therefore unacceptable. But some things are just there.
My decision to stay up or go to sleep is not justified or unjustified because I have no reason to wake up in the morning. My waking up or not is not justified or unjustified because it is based on nothing more than societal expectations, which can’t really be deemed justified or unjustified as an overall statement.
She said that suicide was justified or unjustified. That it could be determined as an overall statement. Either you always go to Hell for it or you don’t. That’s bullshit. You can’t look inside someone’s mind and understand their decisions. And you can’t play God. You don’t decide what is justified or unjustified, assuming that something truly is one or the other.
For a while the only reason I didn’t kill myself was because I was afraid of failing. That’s not a justified reason to live, but no one would say it was unjustified because no one wants to say staying alive is unjustified. But if I had killed myself, everyone would have said that was unjustified. So which is it? I don’t think any of it anything. It simply is. And that’s ok, that’s how I like it to be. That’s how I need it to be.