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#spilled thoughts

And when the need to scream at the whole world rises

Don’t hold back

Lift your head up to the sky and let your howl 

reach for the stars

Until your voice goes hoarse

Until your lungs are set on fire 

And if you find yourself out of breath

Don’t fret

For it is then that the night breeze

will blow fresh air over your soul

~ Stardust For Ink 2019 ~

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I love people too much and I love everyone around me. I give my all to everyone, and now I feel so drained. I’ve been making everyone around me feel so loved but this whole time, I forgot to love myself. 

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We were the fun couple, people would laugh with us, we would make people laugh.

We would tackle eachother when we crossed in the halls then you would pull me into a hug and tell me you loved me.

We would pretend to fight in different languages just because we just wanted to shout.

We would dance in the parking lot in our pyjamas at night even though we are both bad dancers.

You made me feel safe and loved and I had so much fun.

Thank you

- a letter to my ex

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Less than zero, you’re no hero

Just toying with your brain,

When you’ve got that needle in your vein.

You have your whole life ahead of you,

Don’t try to hide it, I can see it in your shoe.

There’s dots all over your arm,

You may not see it, but it’s causing us all harm.

Do you know what will happen?

It’s gonna go down, gonna go down again.

Like that time I found you lying in your den.

Face down, drowning in your own puke.

I could write a book on all the nights I took care of you,

But, you would just sit and stare.

Because it’s consumed what’s left of the cells in your brain,

I guess it’s won this game.

(I wrote this for my college course.)

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Little things matter

They build up

Pile on top of each other

And then it gets too heavy

It weighs you down so much

It hurts that you can’t even stand up

Until you decide to let it all go

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I’ve been trying to come up with ways to describe mans heart and all my thoughts lead me back to you - your heart. I wonder if spiritual connection is anything more than some mythical tale we are led to believe in. I wonder if the connection i feel with you is anything but real. Your heart was soft and pure yet the disappointments of this life has turned it to textures that feel like stone. Stone that I patiently carve out day by day, waiting for the moment I can feel its centre again. Hearts are all the same I tell myself. We just need some love and understanding. A place to feel secure and welcomed. Hearts are all the same. We hurt and we heal. We lose and we win. Hearts are all the same , could it be? I’ve lived in hearts of those I dont think about anymore. I’ve longed to belong in hearts of those who shut me off. Yet with you it’s always been this way. The same. Nothings changed. Your heart is where I want to lay my head to rest. Your heart is where you bring my storm to calm. Your heart is where I feel most understood. Your heart always guarded yet so transparent. Always soft yet so tough. Always aching yet filled with so much of love. Despite the beauty that lives within this heart of yours, it is anything and everything one can imagine… just never a place where you can welcome me home

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