runaway-horses

[runaway-horses]

The older you get the funnier anon hate gets. Like I do not have time for this I have to figure out what a 1099-K form is.

[runaway-horses]

Wild horses crossing a river in Iran Photo: Eydi Heydari

#wish this was me :((

[runaway-horses]

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

[runaway-horses]

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#i don't have a problem being autistic. it's fine. i love it. #but i haven't been home in a really long time #and i am so incredibly overstimulated right now just by being surrounded by people #dont want to see people dont want to talk to people dont want to be touched dont wanna hear noise. awful awful awful #even getting text messages is making me angry and upset #this was never a problem when i was at college

[runaway-horses]

The Orange and Other Poems, Wendy Cope

[runaway-horses]

i would’ve fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would’ve jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i’d be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

[runaway-horses]

i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

[runaway-horses]

The more you look at this picture, the more anxious it becomes.

[runaway-horses]

the trans girl estrogenized puffy nips are some of the hottest things to ever fucking exist and you will never convince me otherwise

[runaway-horses]

I hate bitches who judge a stranger's morality based on their looks so much it's unreal

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cant be doing that

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Cashier at the grocery store was blazed out of his goddamn mind. This man was so high he kept forgetting to speak the first half of his sentences. Nothing but respect for our soldiers.

[runaway-horses]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[runaway-horses]

Feeling an incredibly weird specific nostalgia but what piece of media defined 2020 for you (as in you spent that year with it) mine is mtv's catfish

#taz #but im still obsessed with it #i dont think i got into anything else that year lmao

[runaway-horses]

afraid i may have touched a sadness within myself i cannot jerk my way out of

[runaway-horses]

sorry that i was using my other hand to fish in stardew valley while i was fingering you. it will happen again. do you wanna see my slime hutch i found a cheat to get enough iridium ore for it earlier

#SCREAMING

[runaway-horses]

so since retiring, my dad has gotten into crewel, which is like freestyle embroidery with yarn, and his stuff is pretty good, he made this one which is hanging in my office at work

and lately he's taken to putting himself and his dog into the landscapes and I just think it's! so! cute!

see the little man and the little dog!!!! that's my dad!!!!