schizopositivity

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I think i should be allowed to carry my stuffed toys around. All the time. Everyday. I need the support.

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Have you ever visually hallucinated? If multiple of these have happened to you then vote for which is most significant to you personally.

No

Yes, falling asleep / waking

Yes, because of sleep deprivation / a sleep disorder

Yes, because of a mental illness (eg schizophrenia, bipolar)

Yes, because of a neurological condition (eg epilepsy, stroke, tumour)

Yes, because of a head injury

Yes, because of recreational drug use

Yes, because of medication

Yes, for some other reason

Yes, although I don't know the reason yet

Unsure/possibly

Vanilla extract [see results]

#i like this cause it kinda shows how normal it is and how so many different things can cause people to hallucinate

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I just hit 3,000 followers on this blog!! 🥳🎉 I appreciate everyone that follows and interacts so much. I learn so much from your comments. And it really makes me feel less alone in my experiences living with schizophrenia. It truly makes me so happy but also surprised that so many people care about what I have to say. It makes me so much more hopeful for the future, that maybe one day there will be far less stigma around schizo-spec disorders and psychosis. Thank you all so much!!

#its hard to even process how many people that is #im so grateful for each anf every one of you

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Since the r-slur is making a comeback (you know, the word that starts with R, has six letters, and ends in D), I'm gonna make a little PSA:

Yes, it's an ableist slur.

Terms like "asshat," "head-up-ass," "up their own ass," and "high on their own farts" exist. There's also words like crap, dogshit, half-assed, assclown, and chucklefuck. And on the less vulgar side, there are terms like ridiculous, nonsense, train wreck, pointless, insipid, self-absorbed, pretentious, annoying, boring, contemptible, vile, and disgusting.

Substituting words like restarted, poptarted, brain damaged, smoothbrain, etc. is still ableist, because either 1. you obviously still mean the r-word, or 2. you're still using disability as an insult.

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keep seeing shit about the new ts album & mental illness and i am so so tired. please be nice to actually "crazy" people if ur gonna use us for the aesthetic. i'm not schizophrenic cause it's cute. don't joke about asylums if u haven't had those experiences (and even some of y'all who have been treat it like a vacation & to the rest of us it's prison. i mean literally. prison. incarceration. that's not new shit. and yeah, i'm that "actually crazy" person screaming in the ward. ur not any better than me.)

idk i keep posting and deleting about this cause i can't get my thoughts out properly i just. i'm tired. there was already a worsening problem of "socially acceptable" mental illness pushing out the rest of us (as it's always been) and now there's the top artist in the united states calling herself crazy, saying you should be scared of her, she was raised in an asylum, etc. and it's like.... that's my lived experience. medical doctors refuse to treat me because they're scared of my psychiatric disorders. i've had the cops called on me for episodes. i spent a decade rotting in the mental health system & institutions and i only got out after years of planning how to get away. and so much more i cant even put into words.

and now not only are y'all using folk like me & our experiences for the aesthetic. you're not even a decent human being to those of us who have actually lived through this shit. idk man. really rubs me the wrong way.

#ive been wanting to say this but i couldnt put it into words #thank you op

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im so fucking serious when i say that no one is crueler to visibly disabled people than girlies with blue wolfcuts and sharp eyeliner wearing hundred dollar sweaters from shein.

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Some of us can’t recover!!!! We will never be 100% sane!!!! Get it through your head that we deserve love and support too!!!!

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Celebrate World Psychosis and Schizophrenia Day with me!

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my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.

i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged

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They say I'm not my illness

But where do I stop and it begin?

Who am I without it and who would I have been if I never got sick?

They try to erase it from my mind... but like a tree and its leaves there is no separation.

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life is beautiful because there's neurodivergent lesbains on the internet

#reminder this blog is run by a neurodivergent lesbian :)

[schizopositivity]

Hi, sorry for bothering you. Could you explain the "grippy socks" phenomenon thing? I have tried looking it up but the only thing I found were actual socks so I think I'm missing some context.

It's an online term that refers to the type of socks they give you in psychiatric hospitals (with the rubbery bottoms to prevent slipping on the hard floors). This goes over the origin of this as a meme:

But with that has come plenty of sanist memes as the socks are a visual representation of people who have been in psychiatric facilities, and will use "grippy socks" and terms like "crazy" interchangeably. People also try to make it cute sounding by calling a stay at a psych ward a "grippy sock vacation", belittling what the experience is actually like for a lot of people. The meme has also been used to restate the old, misogynistic "joke" that "crazy girls are better at sex" with the new saying "grippy socks, grippy box" (eww). It's also worth noting that a lot of people using this phrase in memes haven't actually been to a psych ward themselves, they use it to describe their mental state like "I'm afraid to be too honest with my therapist, I'm afraid they'll put me in grippy sock jail". Which is a little frustrating as someone who has had psych ward stays, it's weird to see people use it to describe themselves when they haven't actually had to go.

#answered #grippy socks #grippysockvacation #tw sanism #tw misogyny #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #sanism #tw ableism #ableism #mental health awareness

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I have a question

I still don't fully understand what a delusion is and what "double-bookeeping means"

I have not been diagnosed with any neurodivergencies (yet. My doctor said there is a possibility I have ADHD) and I haven't been diagnosed with any mental health problems.

Once when I was young (around 7 years old) I woke up and I started hallucinating that there were these cartoon rats that were trying to launch themselves to the mood. I knew I was awake and that this wasn't a dream so I was confused. At first I thought "silly rats, the window is closed and you will get hit by the glass" and I tried to ignore what the rats were doing by falling back asleep since I assumed it was just my imagination or that I was half asleep. K couldn't fall back asleep because the "rats" were making too much noise. It was making me uncomfortable and scared. After a while of trying to go back to sleep I heard my mom shout at me (at that time I was sleeping in the same room as my mom, her bed was at the other side of the room opposite to mine and her back was facing me) and she was telling me to stop making noise. I was getting even more confused because I wasn't making any noise and I thought the rats were just a part of my imagination, I started panicking. The rats weren't scary looking at all, they weren't making scary noises or doing scary things but I was terrified at what was going on even though I knew it wasn't real and I wasn't scared of punishment because I knew my mom would be to tired to do anything. After a while of trying to control my "imagination" and trying to get the rats to shut up, my mom woke up and she went tp use the washroom without saying a thing to me. The hallucination was fading away and when my mom came back I told her that I didn't make any noise. She was confused, I explained to her that I heard her shout at me to stop making noise. My mom told me she never shouted at me and that she was asleep the whole time. I could barely believe it, I heard her loudly and clearly, I was slightly convinced that my mom was lying about not shouting at me. The next day I was fine and I realized what was real and what wasn't.

Do you know if there are proper terms for what happened to me? I'm not sure if the term "hallucination" is completely correct

To me, this sounds like a hypnagogic hallucination. They are pretty common hallucinations that can affect anyone and happen when someone is falling asleep or waking up. They aren't indicative of any mental illness, they are just a thing that happens to many people. I don't think it's anything to worry about, since it only happened once. Mental illnesses are diagnosed based on frequency, and how much it affects your daily life. And while that experience sounds distressing, it isn't something that has continued to happen. Many people can have hypnagogic or any type of hallucination and not have any sort of psychotic disorder. Hallucinations are just a thing that happens sometimes, it doesn't always mean the experience is disordered.

#answered #hypnagogic hallucination #tw rats

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In case anyone thinks this type of sanism doesn't happen on Tumblr

#tw sanism #tw ableism

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Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizophrenia! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizoaffective disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizoid personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizotypal personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with paranoid personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with delusional disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian who has ever experienced psychosis!

I love you all, happy visibility week! 🧡🤍🩷

#lesbian visibility week #schizophrenia #schizoaffetive disorder #schizoid personality disorder #schizotypal personality disorder #paranoid personality disorder #delusional disorder #psychosis

[schizopositivity]

communicate when you need space rather than leaving them guessing

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The people who have never been restrained in a psych ward, who have never been to one or only been once, and who do not have a psychotic disorder don't engage with these themes in media the same way people with these experiences do. They still view them as taboo and that's why they like it. They think a musician in a strait jacket is "edgy", not depicting something that is often traumatic for the person experiencing it. They love to be scared at a haunted house that is insane asylum themed, where the patients are the villains. And the same thing with psychotic murderers in horror movies.

These are not good examples of representation. These types of media don't actually normalize people like us, it stigmatizes us. If this is all they see of people like us, they will see us as "crazy" and dangerous. I'm trying to question if people who engage with this media actually view people like us as real people. If they can see the humanity in people who publicly can't hide the fact that they are psychotic. If they actually listen to the experiences of people who have been physically restrained in psych wards, and not just seeing people pretend to in media. When people who have the privilege to not experience these things are laughing at our experience, that's just bullying, it doesn't actually help us.

Oh you love that musician that wears a strait jacket in a music video?

Oh you love haunted house attractions that are 'insane asylum' themed?

Oh you love that horror movie where the villain is portrayed to be psychotic?

But do you respect and care for mentally ill people who have been restrained because they were a danger to themselves or others?

But do you respect and care for people who are constantly in and out of psych wards, or have to live full time in psychiatric facilities?

But do you respect and care for people who have psychotic disorders, especially if they are poc and/or homeless?

Do you see us as real people, or do you just like the aesthetic of our suffering for your entertainment?