secretbtsbear

[secretbtsbear]

Dating a Narcissist

Every morning, I wake up with a sense of dread and anticipation, wondering which version of him I will encounter today. Will it be the charming, loving man who makes me feel like the centre of his universe or the cold, detached stranger who leaves me questioning my worth? Living with a narcissist is like riding an emotional rollercoaster, where the highs are exhilarating but the lows are…

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#Love #Relationship #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

Having an emotionally mature partner is TOP TIER. You're able to express yourself freely and openly. They don’t insult you. They don't give you the silent treatment. They don't become aggressive or manipulative. They listen, they respond—they patiently hold a safe space for you.

[secretbtsbear]

The bare minimum

#love #thoughts #relationship #bare minimum

[secretbtsbear]

The Bare Minimum

Love. It’s a word that evokes images of passion, joy, and deep connection. Yet here I am, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, questioning what love truly means. When did my understanding of love become so distorted that I now equate it with the bare minimum effort? My heart aches with the realization that the grand gestures of love I once dreamed of have been replaced by a mere checklist of…

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#Love #Relationship #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

Venture Into My Thoughts (My 3AM Thoughts)

Well, look who’s back with another episode of my blog—it’s been a hot minute since I penned down my thoughts, and I’m pretty sure none of you even noticed. But hey, life’s been happening, you know? By the time I finish rambling in this article, some of you might be triggered or just nodding along like, “Yep, been there.” I’m not one to spill the tea, but some things just need to be said. As the…

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#Life #Love #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

Lost Friendships, Employment Scams, and Other Side Effects

The Constant Ebb and Flow of Friendships Ah, friendships. They come and go like the tide, leaving you stranded on the shore of loneliness from time to time. It’s like being on a never-ending roller coaster ride, where you’re never quite sure who will still be sitting next to you when the ride comes to a stop. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve found myself mourning the loss of a…

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#Life #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

I'm turning 30 this month, and for some reason have become suddenly interested in material possessions. like what if,,,,,,,,my couch was nice. what if my sheets were nice. is this what happens to you??

[secretbtsbear]

i need to be someone who is alive. not just alive, but lively despite everything. someone whose presence reminds others that life is worth living. i need to not settle. i need to feel deeply, all of the light and all of the heavy. i need to go after what i want, even if i might be rejected. i need to train myself to persevere. to give my all. to, when i’m beaten down and broken, put myself back together and try again. i need who i am to convey, “i’m suffering, but i would do it again and again if it meant i get to live this life with moments of love and peace and fun and joy.”

[secretbtsbear]

23 things I learned in 2023:

Breaking promises to yourself is essentially telling yourself you’re not worthy of commitment or effort.

Listen to people when they tell you who they are.

People put their best foot forward when they first meet you. If they’re already being shitty, it’s likely only going downhill from here.

Self-care isn’t always indulging instant gratification and not doing hard things. I was actually at my most fulfilled when I did hard things DESPITE not feeling like it.

If you’re clinging to other people for fulfillment or validation, you probably don’t like yourself very much.

It’s never the end of the world like we think it is.

If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them. Never be in the business of changing people, even when it comes to changing how they think about you.

Brutally honest communication is everything, but that can also coincide with tactful kindness. Neither is mutually exclusive.

Having a routine makes a massive difference.

Comparison is pointless. No one else has been dealt the same cards you’ve been dealt.

Envy is a waste of time. Instead of being envious of other people, view them as proof of concept.

Self-accountability is important. We are fallible and it’s okay to make mistakes; we just need to own up to them.

Every failure is an opportunity for growth.

Every severed friendship, failed opportunity, lost connection etc etc leaves space for better things to replace it.

We are not tethered to people’s image of us. We are free to change ourselves whenever we please.

It’s not other people’s way, but it’s my way—and that’s all that matters.

Someone denying you love does not erase you.

Piggybacking off the last point—someone not acknowledging the virtues you have doesn’t mean that you don’t have those virtues.

All that really matters are the opinions of the handful of people who truly love you, as well as your opinion of yourself.

Waiting at least 15 minutes before reacting to something. Never trust yourself during the moments when something just hits (learned this the hard way).

Situations are complex and almost never a one size fits all. Asking for advice is okay, but take it with a grain of salt/ultimately follow your own judgment.

Social media isn’t the devil, but scrolling endlessly is. Make an intentional effort to supplant screen time with books and hobbies and friends and tangible, real life things.

We all die one day. None of this is that deep and none of this really matters. Stop taking things so seriously and just enjoy the process 🤍

[secretbtsbear]

Phases

Inspired by : Phases by PRETTYMUCH In the tapestry of love, some threads are woven with the delicate touch of patience and resilience. This is my story—a journey of loving a girl who, like a fragile porcelain doll, has been shattered by heartbreaks too many times. It’s a story of frustration, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to love her through the broken pieces. When I first met her,…

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#affection #Love #phases #Relationship

[secretbtsbear]

Embracing the Uncertainty

In the vast journey of life, there are moments when we find ourselves adrift, lost in a sea of uncertainty. It’s a feeling that can be all-encompassing, leaving us in a state of distress and despair. One of the most disconcerting aspects of this emotional turmoil is not knowing our sense of direction, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. We often find ourselves at a crossroads, staring…

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#Life #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

I Was a King Under Your Control

King by Years and Years In the shadows of my own existence, I had been but a puppet in someone else’s grand performance, a king stripped of his throne, unaware of the power coursing through his veins. For years, I had been under his sway, a willing subject to his dominion, my sovereignty buried beneath layers of his control. I was blind to the potential that lay within me, and I willingly…

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#king #Life #Message #thoughts

[secretbtsbear]

I want to give up. It's really really hard to keep going when all you want is to give up. I want to be done.

[secretbtsbear]

I can’t stand sitting and laying in this room. I can’t stand being alone but I can’t stand being around others. I want to get away and run, just fucking run. but where do I go if no matter where or who I run to, I’m still sad? where do I go and run if I’m just running from myself?

[secretbtsbear]

I’m just so fucking tired

[secretbtsbear]

I hide the darkest parts of myself but honestly I just wish I could show them to someone without fearing judegment / misunderstanding / scaring them / guilt and shame / consequences

[secretbtsbear]

I opened up to you about how I was feeling.

You asked me to do so. I never do that but I thought this time could have been different. But your words and your behavior just gave me another reminder of why I don't do that.

I don't want to open up to anyone ever again. And I know this is what I always say but this time I really mean it. I don't want to feel that pathetic and misunderstood again. I'm gonna keep everything to myself, I can deal with my problems by myself.

I don't need your so called "help".