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#// is not actually lost on me it's true

sapphosclown · 8 months

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Cynthia didn’t want to talk about why she bailed on the play. She’s her fathers daughter, she grew up with basically four older brothers, feelings are not something she talks about, they’re not something anybody is supposed to know except for herself. As soon as she sees the pink ladies at her door, she goes to shut them down. She’s supposed to be alone, these are just some girls anyway, they don’t care about her.

Except they do. They push themselves inside despite her protests. That’s new. No one has ever pushed so hard to be there for her. But they are, and they’re listening. She said she doesn’t wanna talk, they said okay! They said let’s just chill and watch TV and be fucking happy for once.

That’s when Cynthia realizes she finally has friends.

They’re not the girls in her class who bullied her for grass stained skirts, they’re not the boys who- despite growing up together- disregard her constantly, they’re not her father offering her a beer when he doesn’t know what to say, and they’re not just the girl gang of Rydell. They’re friends. They notice her, they hear her, they want to be there for her.

Cynthia doesn’t talk about her feelings, but she knows she has people to lean on. That’s all she’s ever wanted anyway.

#have i mentioned that i’ll never stop talking ab the end of ep. 6?#cause i’m physically incapable #them going to her house and all watching tv is so important #to me but also so very literally to them #they tried to trick us after jane lost #tried to tell us everyone was going to split back up-#feed into cynthia’s pessimism that they have no reason to pal around anymore #but it’s not true #the election is over and jane lost but as soon something was wrong w cynthia #the girls ran #it proves exactly what i said- they’re actually friends #loosing my marbles #grease rise of the pink ladies #rotpl #grotpl #cynthia zdunowski #jane facciano #olivia valdovinos #nancy nakagawa

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wonder-worker · 6 months

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I heard that Edward IV and Elizabeth Widvile were known to be very beautiful. Were there any reports on their appearance at the time?

anon 😂

But yes, contemporaries and post contemporaries in the 16th century were pretty much unanimous in praising their appearance. I'll list some of the ones I could find:

Elizabeth:

'The most beautiful woman in England' ('la plus belle fille d'Engleterre') - Jean de Waurin

'Her very great beauty' ('sa tres grande beaute') - Jean de Waurin

"Her beauty of person and charm of manner" - Dominic Mancini

"None of such constant womanhood, wisdom and beauty" - Hearne's Fragment; its author was one of Edward IV's servants

"A daughter of prodigious beauty' - 1469 Continuator of Monstrelet's Chronicle

"Both faire, of a good favor, moderate of stature, well made and very wise" - Thomas More

Edward IV:

"The beauty of your personage it hath pleased Almighty God to send you" - James Strangways, Speaker of the Commons in Parliament

"The king is a handsome upstanding man" - Gabriel Tretzel, travels of Leo of Rozmital

"A handsome prince and had style" - Oliver De La Marche

"In the flower of his age, tall of stature, elegant of person" - Croyland Chronicle

"One of the handsomest knights of his kingdom" - 1469 Continuator of Monstrelet's Chronicle

"A handsome and worthy prince" - Pietro Alipranto

‘...Tall and strapping as the king’ - John Paston, Paston Letters

"He was young and more handsome than any man then alive" - Philippe de Commynes

"A man so vigorous and handsome that he might have been made for the pleasures of the flesh" - Philippe de Commynes

"The handsomest prince my eyes ever beheld" and "I don't remember ever having seen a man more handsome than he was" - Philippe de Commynes

"A very handsome prince" - Louis XI, from the Memoirs of Commynes

"He being a person of most elegant appearance, and remarkable beyond all others for the attractions of his person" - the Croyland Chronicle, referencing Edward a few months before he died

"He seized any opportunity that the occasion offered of revealing his fine stature more protractedly and more evidently to onlookers" - Dominic Mancini, writing shortly after his death

"He was a goodly personage and very princely to behold...of visage lovely, of body mighty, strong and cleanly made; howbeit in his latter days, with an over liberal diet, somewhat corpulent, but nevertheless noy uncomely" - Thomas More

Etc.

I'm tagging @edwardslovelyelizabeth because I think you got a similar ask?

I hope this answers your question, anon! I don't generally pay a lot of attention to the physical appearance of historical figures (I find it pretty irrelevant), but in this case, it ultimately does play a role in both Edward IV and Elizabeth's historiographies for better and for worse, and seems to have actually been a personal prop of Edward's kingship, so I don't mind discussing it :)

#either anon is making rounds or someone else saw the ask and asked me something similar 🤷🏻‍♀️#edward iv #elizabeth woodville #ask #also (I wanted to make a separate post about this but fuck it I'll just rant in the tags):#Something I find very interesting (read: fucked-up) is how we have multiple independent accounts praising Edward IV as extremely #attractive at the end of his life #Yet for some reason (aka fatphobia) most historians simply assume that he lost his looks over the years because he put on weight #even though his actual contemporaries (sans Commynes who in any case didn't even see him after 1475) certainly didn't seem to think so #as we can see: Croyland Mancini and More all noted the fact that he had put on weight AND emphasized his attractiveness #because the two are not mutually exclusive in the slightest and assuming that they are is not only incorrect it's also deeply problematic #it's similar to how so many historians assume his health was failing towards the end of his life when we KNOW - we are literally TOLD -#that his illness was both unexpected and baffling to contemporaries #(there is a contemporary reference to his supposedly deteriorating health but as Horrox says this is actually an editorial interpolation)#and the thing that's *always* referenced almost synonymously with this alleged non-existent ill-health is his weight #and the thing is - even if both of these were true they still ultimately wouldn't (and SHOULDN'T) matter. But we KNOW they weren't #and so it's incredibly indicative that historians and general histories STILL automatically assume them - and this assumption #is almost always on conjecture with his weight. (I don't think I've framed this coherently but oh well)#I'm still not over Katherine Lewis's deranged and frankly extremely ignorant epilogue in 'Kingship and Masculinity'#she literally framed her entire perspective on him around his weight with some really ridiculous (read: fatphobic) speculations/assumptions #she's even worse than Thomas Penn who is also revolting (and AJ Pollard isn't much better)#though of course they're not the only ones - almost every historian and general history does this

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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I'm still thinking about how I witnessed somebody say a younger thirty-something was "aging gracefully," and it really just hit me over the head.

There's this element to things like aging and beauty, where it is seen as shallow and vulgar only insofar as it is used as a means for control or exercising power. The beauty-obsessed mindset is vain and superficial until the obsession for beauty is done in service, I've noticed. It's not lost on me that they said that to a woman, either, a trans woman - and it's not lost on me that especially marginalized women are held to twice the standard as anybody else, and that's framed as a good thing, something that "proves your womanhood." There's this twisting of the knife where proving that you're "just as much a woman" is what will liberate you from the clutches of the hatred you face - it places responsibility for your own subjugation (even in a small part) upon your shoulders so that the system is absolved of any wrongdoing on its end.

I just noticed this whenever people say or do things that subtly reinforce this idea that these power structures complement you. There's such a perverse nature to the fear of aging to attach "gracefulness" onto this natural process, and not only that, but applying it with such scrutiny that a thirty-something-year-old is "aging gracefully."

#pro aging #feminism #misogyny #misogyny tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #it's not necessarily the 'oh you seem to be doing well!' that gets me. it's the underlying controlling nature of it all #and yes maybe it's reading into something but it feels like people don't actually explore why they feel the way they do...#...why a woman EXISTING means something Deeper - that her aging is a compliment if only it is done gracefully and aesthetically pleasing...#...and it's not lost on me that so so often i see misogyny weaponized against trans women* in a specific way wherein...#...it's framed as liberation rather than subjugation and any resistance to the misogyny is framed as them 'not being a [true] woman'...#...and this is definitely complicated in individual cases...#...and it's ABSOLUTELY common for trans women* to face this problem even before transition or discovering their transness #this is definitely a complicated topic in that it's not universal - it is however something i've seen a lot throughout the years

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that-was-anticlimactic · 1 year

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thinking about ninjago s6,,, specifically nadakhan and his relationship with his crew.

i just think it’s so interesting and also think it’s bull crap that he never cared for nor wanted them. first of all, jay was also under the assumption that he didn’t actually care about delara which he very obviously does, as we can see in ep10. and jay was also just trying to escape and was using any advantage he had—his voice was his biggest advantage at the time. but it was around the time jay came to the conclusion that nadakhan didn’t care about delara when he told flintlocke that nadakhan was just using him…

see, in ep2 after retrieving the realm crystal, nadakhan spends the night having fun with his crew and they all seem genuinely happy to be there! clancee himself states multiple times that he has no reason to wish for anything and that he best fits in with and feels welcomed with the crew. they’re singing and dancing and having fun… and when nadakhan says he’s going home, he invites them all with. he had every intention of bringing them with him not as servants or underlings but friends…

i can’t help but wonder what would have been different had delara not been dead. had the cursed realm not been destroyed, thus destroying djinjago in response.

because the thing is: it’s after he gets the sword and swears revenge when nadakhan begins hiding things from his crew. it’s then when he becomes more and more desperate. the further the season goes, the more jay pisses him off and thwarts him, the angrier and more desperate he becomes. you could call it a corruption of power, the things we do / give up for love, or even recklessness due to strong emotions.

when it comes to the crew’s betrayals, i really think jay planting the seed is what did it. flintlocke was already upset that nadakhan wasn’t sharing plans with him

clancee and dogshank are the ones hard to believe

nadakhan would’ve kept his crew around had the desperation not grown as terribly as audrey two and consumed him, had clancee not whispered to jay where the venom was. i honestly believe jay thought he was speaking the truth. if s6 emphasizes anything, it's that words are powerful. jay used his words to win in the end and to plant the seeds that eventually overtook and defeated nadakhan.

nadakhan seemed to have lost faith in his friends and that was his biggest downfall and that is what made him lose everything in the end. like yes, he's the villain and tbh i'm glad jay and the ninja won, but gosh if it doesn't just break my heart as i watch him slowly lose faith in his friends/team throughout s6 and how they probably wouldn't have even become proper villains had delara not died,,,

#found this in my drafts from like ten months ago #i actually went off with this omg #i stand by everything i said #s6 isn't the Best season but my God if it doesn't have it's just completely stand out moments #i hate the fact that it seems like nadakhan didn't actually care for his crew #HE DID!!! he was desperate and lost faith and jay was desperate to escape (i mean... fairly so lol) and so they both made desperate moves #so true past me #sorry guys going through my drafts in attempts to get them to under five hundred and saw this and was like 'yes i need to post this'#i was too right with this not to #ninjago #nadakhan #ninjago nadakhan #ninjago skybound

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skrunksthatwunk · 10 months

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ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.

haruka is watching all of this unfold.

[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]

ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.

(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)

first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.

[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]

kiwami stuff

so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:

that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.

shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:

date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:

kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:

date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:

then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:

which makes an impression on kiryu:

date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:

after the dust has cleared,

kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:

so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?

kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.

and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.

okay. now we get to kiwami 2.

if you forgot, the context is basically:

everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on

there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it

ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so

sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch

ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad

kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer

here's the scene itself:

sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)

date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:

before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:

we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:

and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:

then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.

so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?

the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:

it's about choices.

the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.

now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.

this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.

(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)

characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.

so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.

they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.

i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?

put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.

here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.

once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.

it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.

it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.

characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.

i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.

i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway

and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).

instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.

note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.

kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.

and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.

so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.

and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.

tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)

there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.

#got so into this post that i used tumblr on my laptop for the first time to surpass mobile's image limit #i also added transcriptions in the alt text (which i should do more often)#actually thinking about it in the movie kiryu teaches haruka that lesson about stumbling on.. and she's the one to ask to follow him... hm.#just interesting given that the movie came out before 2. i don't think it makes much of a difference to the post it's just neat to me #one of my favorite parts of writing this was skimming through a bunch of yk1/yk2 cutscenes and noticing how often kiryu pats haruka's head #it happens a lot more than i remembered and it's very sweet to me. get bonked little one <3 #another good thing was realizing you can edit tags when you're not on mobile.... fucking life changing. i have lost hours to mobile tag #editing and i'm not even kidding about that #speaking of editing this one took like 6 hours.. my brother used “yakuza autism” (verb) for me earlier and it's so true. source: this post #i did have a short break to get food bc i hadn't eaten all day but that's mostly because i woke up at 3pm. anyway #also if you like kiwami 2's ending you're not even remotely alone. i looked at the comment sections of the scene comps and ppl love it #and more power to you!! i like it when people enjoy things. and tbh i DO have feelings that i'm supposed to about that ending #i just also have feelings you're not supposed to. like. anger. i guess.#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #skrunk meta #aww yeah it's a new tag babeyy #yakuza kiwami 2 #kiwami 2 #yakuza #like a dragon #yk2 #kiryu kazuma #sawamura haruka #sayama kaoru #maybe my thoughts'll change after replaying the games...? it's been like a year and a half since i beat yk2 so i am a bit fuzzy on it #yakuza kiwami spoilers #yakuza kiwami 2 spoilers

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quickhacked · 7 months

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trembling hands for vitali? 👀👀

TREMBLING HANDS [x] characters >> nick vossler (oc), vitali dobrynin (oc) context >> november 2067; it's the morning after this fic takes place, vitali is in college and in general not dealing with everything that's going on in his life well total >> 2.2k words warnings >> alcohol mention, drugs mention, nick being a bit of a dick in general, nsfw mention, portrayal of a toxic relationship (these men make each other worse)

The old and decrepit apartment building in the Glen was freezing cold. Not all that surprising for that time of the year; and stacking overdue electric bills had put an end to Vitali’s access to the place’s central heating, but he was not allowed to complain. If anything, he was lucky to still be able to call it his home at all to begin with.

He woke up with a throbbing headache and a heavy weight pressing down on his chest, and despite the good amount of sleep he had managed to get he still found himself struggling to properly wake up. His ailments were the result of mostly dehydration- though taking the amount of drugs and alcohol in his system the night before, it was safe to assume it was not the only problem at play.

Vitali rarely suffered terrible hangovers. Nothing a glass of water and an ibuprofen couldn’t fix; and whenever he had classes the next morning he still always showed up on time, wearing his best fake smile as always and a mood that was still of questionable quality but never worse than it usually was.

Though that morning was different.

The bleak sunlight that poured in from underneath the curtain of the single window in the living room barely raised the temperature inside his apartment. All it did was cast a single, bright ray of sunshine directly into Vitali’s eyes, an annoyance greater than his comfort on the twin size mattress on the floor to the point he found himself unable to fall back asleep.

He groaned and carefully rolled himself on his side, dragging the covers with him as he slowly attempted to get up. His entire body was sore; had not slept in the greatest position, but the sex he’d had with Nick the night before- pressed against the wall of the expensive nightclub’s hallway- had absolutely not helped either, and the moment he finally managed to stand up he nearly sank through his knees again from the pain in his upper right leg.

Consequences of his own actions.

Vitali knew better than to wallow in his misery, well aware he had caused it entirely himself, no one else to blame. It was not as if he would learn; next week he would make the same old mistakes all over again, a broken record doomed to play on repeat until his trembling hands would lose their grip entirely and he would spiral down into a freefall.

He managed to find his way to the kitchen, still wrapped in the covers as he opened one of the mismatched cupboards to look for a clean cup; could not find any and instead took a dirty one out of the sink, rinsing it a few times before pouring himself some apple juice.

His gaze caught his phone as he brought the glass to his lips, the cracked and dirty screen lighting up from the kitchen countertop beside his keys and wallet and showing- nineteen unread messages and eleven missed calls?

‘What the fuck?’ he mumbled under his breath, lowering the glass again and setting it back as he grabbed his phone instead, blanket over his shoulders dropping down on the floor.

Unsurprisingly so, all of it was Nick’s doing. It would not be the first time he had obsessively tried to get Vitali’s attention; far from it, in fact, a man desperate for validation as well as forgiveness each and every time he had done something wrong. Though as far as Vitali was concerned, nothing out of the ordinary had happened when they’d seen each other in the club- and his curiosity was winning over his exasperation.

Naturally, he did not hesitate when Nick’s name popped up in the middle of his screen again.

‘What do you fucking want?’ Vitali asked, voice possibly a little harsher than he had meant for as he quickly pulled his half-opened flannel back over his exposed shoulder when he heard loud knocking on the front door. Nick did not respond at first- and Vitali quickly figured out why, swinging the door open and instantly being met with the other man, holding up his own phone with an annoyed frown on his face.

‘Eleven fuckin’ times, V,’ he said, lowering his hand at the same time as Vitali did. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘Twelve, actually, counting this one,’ Vitali simply spat back, demonstratively hanging up and tossing his phone back on the kitchen counter from where he stood. ‘And you’re the one showing up at my place at fuck o’clock in morning.’

‘It’s two in the afternoon!’

‘Same thing.’

Nick cursed under his breath and stepped inside, tugging on Vitali’s flannel- drawing a protesting, somewhat startled scoff from his lips- to then button it all the way to the top.

‘You need to learn to put on some clothes,’ he muttered, brushing some of Vitali’s hair out of his face to prevent it from getting stuck between the buttons. A surprisingly gentle touch; Vitali sometimes forgot he was still capable of that, after everything that had happened.

‘I’m wearing clothes.’ Vitali paused, noticing Nick’s eyeroll and he punched his shoulder in response, not too hard but not being playful either. ‘Comfort of my own home! Get out if you don’t like it.’

‘More clothes,’ Nick sneered, gesturing at Vitali’s mostly naked legs. ‘And wear ‘em properly. I could see your tits.’

‘So? You’ve seen them before. Did not hear you complain yesterday.’

‘It’s freezing in here!’

‘What’s your fucking point, Nick?!’

Vitali’s voice nearly echoed through the whole hallway behind the other man and silence washed over the apartment, both of them taking a few steps back at the same time. Vitali watched as Nick clenched his jaw and briefly turned around to close the front door, then vaguely gestured around into the room.

‘Was worried,’ he said, and shrugged. ‘Didn’t hear anything from you when I texted if you got home safely. Jackie couldn’t tell me where you were. Jen has me blocked now, wasn’t of any fuckin’ use either- no idea what that’s all about. Where did you go?’

Vitali was not entirely sure how to answer him.

He could barely remember it, was the truth. Everything that had happened after he had walked away from Nicky in that sweaty and suffocating hallway was merely a blur to him now, though he did remember spending another good hour or two stumbling around before he had been able to find his way to the exit.

He vaguely remembered the rain; could vaguely recall getting soaked and taking a cab elsewhere, the air-conditioning inside freezing him down to the bone. He had not gone home yet- had needed more to be able to forget, to wash off the feeling of Nick’s hands on his body and to drown out the voice in his head screaming at him to stop and go home, get his act together while he still could.

‘Took the long way home, I guess,’ he finally managed to say, hesitance dripping from his lips with each and every word he spoke and Nick’s eyes narrowed a little.

‘Couldn’t find a moment to text me back?’ he asked.

‘Did not think you’d care.’

‘Oh, that’s foul.’

‘Usually you don’t. I don’t know what you want me to say.’

Another silence as a sharp, exasperated sigh left Nick’s lips and he averted his gaze to the ceiling. Acting annoyed, but on the losing end- Vitali was right and both parties knew that very well, Nick’s sudden concern entirely out of the blue considering he usually left his phone off for several days after an argument.

‘Why are you really here?’ Vitali asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and taking another step back, keeping as much distance between himself and the other man as possible. Not out of fear; moreso disgust, unable to believe he’d let Nick do whatever he wanted to him, again, the money much needed but the aftermath and the memories of it embarrassing him to his core in a way he hadn’t even known was possible.

Maybe Jenny was right this time.

Not as if that mattered much. She hadn’t reached out to him at all anymore.

‘I just- wanted to apologize for yesterday,’ Nick mumbled in response. ‘Wasn’t all too nice to you, from what I remember.’

‘You weren’t, no.’ Vitali paused, licked his lips, and gestured at Nick. ‘Go ahead. Apologize.’

‘I just did.’

‘You didn’t.’

‘Fucking hell, Dobrynin-!’

‘What! Saying you want to apologize is not the same as apologizing-’

‘You’re so fucking pretentious, you know that?’

The sharp edge to Nick’s voice made Vitali scoff and he sucked in a shallow breath, adrenaline rushing through his system until the hairs on his arms stood up straight. His body was bracing itself; not expecting a physical blow- even Nick knew better than to sink that low- simply another mental one, a blow to his ego he would carry with him into the next week until his next mistake would come along and take its place.

‘Maybe you’re right,’ Nick bluntly said and threw up his hands in exasperation. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t’ve come. You’re not making it very easy to be worried about you, you know that? And then one day when you do need the help I won’t be here. No one will.’

‘Right, because every time before today when you weren’t there for me by your own fucking choice, that could not have happened, of course,’ Vitali mockingly replied and gestured at the door. ‘You are just trying to cover for yourself now. Get out if you don’t have anything nice to say.’

‘I love you.’

The statement caught Vitali a little off guard and he slowly lowered his hands, standing unmoving as Nick walked closer to him and cupped his face in both hands, strands of Vitali’s long, bleached hair getting caught between his fingers.

‘I love you,’ he quietly repeated himself, thumbs running in circles over Vitali’s cheeks, ‘and I just wish you’d let me.’

Vitali’s eyes slowly moved over Nick’s face- the little marks covering his cheekbones, the acne scarring roughening the skin of his cheeks and jaw, the little bump in his nose caused by a broken bone that had not healed all too well-

He reminded him of Mikhail, sometimes.

But they were not the same.

‘I’ve given you enough chances and you walk away every single fucking time,’ Vitali quietly replied, moving up his hand to place it over Nick’s and he softly kissed his palm. ‘What do I need to do to make you stay?’

Nick couldn’t answer. And Vitali knew that.

Both of them had fucked up more than enough times; both had walked away before, justified, sometimes not, in the heat of the moment or when things just got a little too boring for their liking. They got annoyed about everything they were and fought about everything they were not and instead of talking things out like normal people they would get drunk, get naked, and pretend like nothing had happened the next day.

‘You’re complicated,’ Nick finally said, gently brushing some of Vitali’s hair out of his face.

‘So are you,’ Vitali merely replied, making a biting motion at Nick’s hand who in response cupped his face and leaned in closer to kiss him, a somewhat metallic taste to his lips Vitali could not quite place.

‘I love you,’ he mumbled into the kiss, slowly draping his arms over Nick’s shoulders and pulling him closer until there was no space left between their bodies. He broke the kiss and buried his face in the crook of Nick’s neck- and the other man reciprocated the hug, one hand on Vitali’s back and the other in his hair.

‘Have somethin’ to eat, take it easy today,’ he quietly said, slowly pulling back and fixing the collar of Vitali’s flannel. ‘I’ll see you again tomorrow, okay?’

‘Okay.’

The silences that followed were always the worst.

Watching Nick walk away again, leave through that very same door he had only just arrived through and wishing he would stop, come back inside, stay just a little longer. Whether Vitali had fucked it up for himself this time or not, he was no longer sure; it was impossible to tell what Nick’s true intentions were. Vitali usually was nothing more than a stopover to him.

And of course he wished it was different. If he could have it his way, Nick wasn’t such an asshole all the time. Wouldn’t just be using him for his own pleasure, wouldn’t just come and go as he pleased without taking Vitali’s feelings into account. And in return, Vitali wouldn’t have to return the attitude.

Had Nick even started it all? He wasn’t all that sure anymore.

Vitali scoffed at nobody in particular and walked through the room to the window, sitting himself down on the windowsill to stare outside. He was still cold, but it did not do anything to him anymore- his head was elsewhere, and the shivers running up and down his spine were the least of his worries.

At least I’ll see him again tomorrow.

At least he would always come back.

#asks #devilbrakers #writing asks #nuclearwriting #HEHE THAMK YOU. i've been meaning to finish this fic for a while now but never got to it #but this prompt was perfect for it >:^)#vitali being such a fuckup in his younger years is something that can be so special to me actually #the amount of work it took to get to where he is in life now is so admirable and also makes me insane #because so many people still believe that he got all that he has now because of the status of his family. when that's not true at all!!!#he lost everything at several points in his life and had to start over and over and over again and he fought so hard for what he has now #anyway i'm normal about this man yes why do you ask #finally gave nick a last name also <3 i do not like him but also i'm studying him like a bug in a petri dish

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nulltune · 5 months

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#DARK VC //WHO DO YOU THINK I AM!!!!!!!!!// <- guy who would absolutely loathe. from the bottom of his heart. taking care of a baby#but would do it anyways bc his pride just got hiT @dnangelic HELPPPPAHDKWBCJABD