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#( when I said I wanted to make her real and I made her a real piece of shit )
sunny44 · 2 days
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You have to share
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Mom!wife!reader
Warnings: none
Summary: your son thinks that Max needs to share.
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I was at home, enjoying a rare moment of tranquility after a long and victorious Formula 1 season. Sitting on the living room sofa, I watched Oliver playing with his toy cars on the rug. At that moment, I caught myself thinking about how big he had gotten and how quickly time had passed. It seemed like yesterday that Y/n told me she was pregnant, and we were at the hospital watching him being born. Now he was already four years old, and I was thinking about talking to her and seeing what she thought about trying for another one.
"Daddy, can you come play with me?" Oliver asked, his voice full of enthusiasm.
"Of course, champ." I replied, smiling as I got up to sit with him on the rug.
I sat next to Oliver, picking up one of the cars. We started an improvised race, Oliver's laughter filling the room and making me laugh along with him.
Of course, he made me be myself, and he was Uncle Lando.
After a few minutes, Oliver suddenly stopped and looked at me seriously.
"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what's up?" I asked, surprised by the sudden change in tone.
"Why do you win all the championships? Don't you think it's a bit selfish not to share with the other drivers?"
I admit I was extremely surprised by the question. I had never thought that Oliver could see it that way.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because Mommy always says we can't be selfish, that we have to share and we can’t have everything just because we want to. But you always have the victories, and that's not fair.” he said simply, and I understood his analogy about selfishness.
"Look, Oliver, I love what I do. I love racing, and I love winning. It's something I've worked for my whole life.” I began, trying to explain.
"But, Daddy," Oliver interrupted, "if you win everything, the other drivers never get a chance to feel what it's like to be a champion. They must be really sad."
I was silent for a moment, considering my son's words. I had never thought of my victories that way, obviously, because that's not how the sport works, but I also had never thought of explaining it to him so he wouldn't think I or any other driver was selfish for winning.
"I understand what you're saying," I told him. "But Formula 1 is a competitive sport. All the drivers train hard and want to win; there's no rule that says each driver has to win once. When I win, it's because I worked hard for it. And I know the other drivers also work really hard, and when their time comes, they will win too."
Oliver frowned, thinking.
"But wouldn't it be fairer if you let the others win sometimes? That way, everyone would be happy." I smiled at him, proud that he thought that way.
"You know, Oliver, the joy of winning comes from effort and dedication. If I just let the others win, it wouldn't be fair to them either. They want to win honestly, knowing they were the best that day and not because someone let them win."
Oliver nodded slowly, understanding.
"So you win because you're the best? And they also want to win because that shows they're the best?"
"Exactly," I replied, satisfied with his understanding. "And that's what makes victory so special. Each driver has their victories, their achievements. And we all respect each other for that."
Oliver smiled, now more relieved.
"So, when I grow up and race for real, I'll train really hard to beat you!" I laughed, hugging my son.
"That's right, champ. And when that day comes, I'll be very proud of you."
After that, we continued playing with the toy cars, and about half an hour later, my wife walked through the door with her bag and a pizza box.
"Hi, my loves," she said, closing the door, and I was immediately abandoned.
"Mommy!" Oliver shouted, running to her, and she hugged him, picking him up.
"What are my two favorite boys doing?"
"We're playing Formula 1," he said excitedly, and she gave me a peck on the lips.
"Hmmm, sounds fun."
"Do you want to play with us?" He gave her those big blue puppy eyes. Y/n knows how to resist, but he always wins me over with them.
"I would love to, but I'm starving and really craving that pizza."
"You brought pizza?" he asked, excited.
"Yes, I did."
"Then what are we waiting for?" he said, starting to squirm in her arms to be put down. "I'm going to wash my hands."
And with that, he ran to the bathroom, giving me a few minutes alone with her.
"How are you?" I asked, hugging her waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Tired but good, counting the days until vacation." She kissed me again.
"Oliver asked me today if I didn't think it was selfish of me to win all the championships and not let the other drivers win too." She started laughing at that.
"Where did he get that from?" she asked, going to set up the pizza for us to eat.
"He asked because he thought it was unfair for me to win everything and because he thought the other drivers would be sad."
"Ugh, he's so cute," she said, and I agreed. "I miss when he was a baby."
"About that," then she looked at me, "I was thinking about having another one."
"Do you want another kid?"
"Yes, don't you?"
"I do, actually, I just didn't know if you wanted to."
"I would love to have another four," she laughed.
"That's not going to happen. If it were you giving birth, I'd agree, but since it's not," just then Oliver came in and sat in his chair, and I served him a slice of pizza and a glass of juice.
“Hmm I love pizza.” He said with his mouth all covered with sauce making us laugh.
After we had dinner as a family we all went to bed to watch a movie together.
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Bonus scene!
Y/nverstappen instagram stories
“Daddy and Oli time. And yes, he looks exactly like his father, I was just carrying him for 9 months.”
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There was this one art a little while ago about the family stuck in a situation where they're forced to play ISAT in some post game scenerio. I keep having many thoughts, but here's some about them figuring out who Loop is:
1) They all BAFFLED by how Loop usually talks. They all thought Loop was this shy little star person. Immediately, they get hit with "have you tried not dying~~~~" into "I think you deserve help" and do not know what to think.
2) Odile is in charge of the controller. Mainly bc no one else wants to control Siffrin and they all have equal amount of video game experience aka none, so Odile is being practical about it. This has the side effect that Odile gets to be all investigative. Odile makes it her MISSION to find stuff out about Loop.
3) Siffrin has complicated feelings about them finding out about Loop??? Like okay they HATE their family has to see all this, ESPECIALLY THAT THEY CAN SEE HIS THOUGHTS!!!! But. Loop. Siffrin hasn't told his family the truth. It's not his story to tell. But. If they figure it out...? In a way that proves Loop wrong, right? That they can recognize them. Maybe it takes a bit because Loop looks different is and actively trying to be different from Siffrin. But. Maybe...? Either way they encourage Odile to talk to Loop. If this is a simulation... if this is real in some way even... yeah he wants to talk to Loop.
Anyway here's a list on how they find out one by one:
Odile: She catches the little stuff. She notes the royal We, the fact that Loop alludes to having an old body by accident, the casual familiarity in some places. All of that. She is also the first to note their eyes being different shades. However, Odile doesn't make the connection 100%, not until Isabeau. Well.
Isabeau: He gets some of the weird stuff Loop says but not as many as Odile. HE finds Loops side comments weirder. He sees Loop's reactions and they're a bit. Uncanny.... and then he has another realization, Loop and Siffrin have the same eyes. When Isabeau notes this, it all clicks for Odile.
Mirabelle: Okay, so. You cannot tell me that Mirabelle has not read fantasy stories with weird guide characters. She has to have!!!! So at first, she's not even looking for who Loop is. And tbh? She has the best read on Loop's personality otherwise. Sassy, but clearly caring. A bit of a shit, but serious when needed. And mainly, she appreciates Loop Being There when the rest of them couldn't. That being said, the moment where the "have you wondered who I am" happens. And suddenly Mirabelle Is Thinking Of the Possibilties. And then the ME option pops up!!!! Odile was already about to pick it but Mirabelle YELLS to pick that one!!!!! Uh. Shortly after that they all have a conversation about how yeah, Loop is VERY likely Siffrin. Mirabelle justifies herself with tropes. Of course!!! Of course they're Siffrin!!! If they're anyone they have to be Siffrin. Siffrin got transformed and became the guide they needed!!!! It Just Makes Sense.
Bonnie: ....Tbh doesn't really figure it out on their own? But also. Loop. Feels like Frin. Not exactly like Frin. But they're Frin enough to be trusted so who cares. It takes awhile for them to really get it too because... it's weird. Also they're the one to really ask why there would be two Frins??? Duh??? And why would Frin become Loop???
Anyway, basically, after picking "Me?" They pretty much are all on the same page. They got that it was wishcraft. They got Loop is Siffrin somehow. I think Odile might figure out that "hey, uh if Loop is the guide then what happens when Loop doesn't have a guide" and Mirabelle probably says "wait Siffrin didn't you say to me once that without Loop you wouldn't have made it?"
Meanwhile Siffrin is a mix of sad and very emotionally touched. Because. Yeah. Even when trying to actively hide, their family recognized them.
Notably, Siffrin gets them to twohats (Siffrin remembers that they understood Loop most after showing them the coin. So yes, the family does get to see Siffrin's "I will forget everything I love" moment. Goes as well as you expect. Lots of hugs and the reassurance that they will bug Siffrin until the end of their days so he can't forget him so HA!)
But yeah. Siffrin really wants to make sure they can get little simulation Siffrin to realize Loop is Siffrin as well. Because if there is any chance of this being real and that they're guiding a Siffrin in another reality, then they want to make sure they can get Loop to know just how much they did. How much they helped and changed Siffrin's fate for the better.
To note: I'd imagine in this scenario, Odile wouldn't go do any of the side stuff. At least not too much of it. There wouldn't be as much exploration either. Siffrin likely would be very underleveled as a result.
So perhaps in this scenario? Imagine if you will that while the Siffrin watching definitely defeated Loop, the simulation Siffrin loses.
And Siffrin finds out that... no. No! Of course Loop couldn't kill him. Of course they wouldn't. There is a catharsis to that realization.
(After they finish the game, either a) prologue playthrough time or b) they're freed and the group IMMEDIATELY try to figure out a way to find Loop bc uh??? Even if they weren't Siffrin, they want to find them. But like. Two Frins. Two Frins they know are different but who cares, no matter who Loop chooses to be, Loop Is Family Too).
Anyway, family plays isat featuring the Loop Saga.
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velvetcloxds · 2 days
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THE PRICE OF FREEDOM | S.R
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
word count: 0.8k
warnings: toxic family, parental role reversal, guilt
summary: spencer and the team come over to your new place to celebrate you finally leaving your toxic childhood home
a/n: started off strong , became too real, rushed the ending
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It wasn’t much of an achievement for most, moving out of the house you grew up in, doing so in your mid-twenties even less so. But Spencer thought it the biggest achievement, the bravest step you’d ever taken, and you were touched by his excitement. It was a small little apartment, open floor space, everything flowing into one and with your boxes still scattered everywhere there was hardly room for everyone- but Spencer bought a cake. Rossi said he was bringing pasta and you just barely heard Emily promise to bring champagne, so you couldn’t talk anyone out of making a fuss.
It was a confusing set of emotions, you’d been dreaming of leaving for years, since your second year at university, but guilt always stopped you in your tracks. You didn’t want to leave without her, leave her in it, feel responsible for her, like getting a good job and finding a good place should be to save her and not yourself, not just yourself. And you waited, begged, bargained, fought with all your might to have her see things for what they were and leave, you would’ve done anything to make it happen for her- but despite it all, despite years of pain, she wasn’t ready to escape and as much as you wanted to make her ready, you couldn’t. You were, you didn’t have it in you to stay even if you wanted to for her, you had to get out, for you.
“Do you think there’s enough candles?” Spencer was fiddling about in the living room area, though it wasn’t truly ready to be lived in yet, furniture wasn’t in the cards for a while so of course he’d taken to constructing some with all your boxes.
“I think it’s plenty,” you smiled and it felt more sincere than it looked, only barely hiding the embarrassment from not having working lights set up yet. “More and we might set the place on fire before I unpack,” you pulled some paper plates and cups from the grocery bag, hoping no one would mind as much as you did.
You knew they wouldn’t, knew they wouldn’t mind sitting on dented boxes, eating cold pasta, and drinking fancy alcohol out of party cups. If anything it just felt like a testament to your fate, to how rash your decision was, how unprepared you were for whatever was to come. It reminded you that you had no idea how to exist outside of your terror, if you weren’t protecting your mother, what were you doing? Throwing lackluster dinner parties while she was still ever miserable with a horrid man and no escape. It made you feel all the more guilty, and all the more selfish. You couldn’t comprehend the excitement you were expected to be expressing. With all your might you had to convince yourself not to run right back to that blush pink bedroom stained at every inch with dried tears and echoed with screams of bitterness.
You had to convince yourself once again that you were free and you deserved to be as much, you didn’t choose to be born into that madness, you had every right to run away from it. She chose to stay, countless times, no matter how many scary nights or pleating fits of fear, she chose to stay.
“I think we can paint the walls if you’d like, Morgan would help me, though I wouldn’t ask Garcia because she might end up choosing a bright green or yellow,” you met his breathy scoff with a lazy hum, stilled in the middle of counting out the right amount of bamboo forks, staring at the only corner you’d managed to unpack- the photo frames. Spencer followed your gaze, and landed on a large frame with a colourful picture of you and your mom at the theatre, only a few months ago, her smile was only ever that big when you were away from home, from him. You dropped the lightweight utensils with a sigh, everything felt wrong, you felt wrong. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” he knew the answer but didn’t know how to approach the situation without asking anyway. You hummed, bit back a fake smile that would only turn to a frown even if you tried to stop it, and folded your arms around yourself to ground you.
How a space so small, so full, could feel so void, lonely, you weren't sure. Your mom had been dying for years, not physically, but he’d been hacking away at her soul since you could remember- left a shell of her, a ghost, you’d mourn her daily, he made sure of it. Now the mourning was different, the grief, leaving your best friend, your shadow felt like you’d buried her alive and left her screaming. Horrendous thing, the juxtaposition of it all, you couldn’t spend another second in that house, can’t imagine taking another breath without her at your side. You hoped she’d follow, it’s why you borrowed the queen size mattress and not the single from Hotch, space for her, somewhere to escape to when she was ready, but who’d protect her while she wasn’t?
“I was thinking,” careful hands slid over your elbows, loving smile met your gaze. “With your power still out, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone in the dark. Maybe I can stay over?” Spencer was never so forward, if he were he’d present you with ample facts to support his case first, not such a simple little tale of charm.
“Please,” you’d not usually accept so easily, but you were being profiled, you’d learn to know when you were and though not always intentional, Spencer tended not to notice how unsubtle he was with it. You smiled, traded your own embrace for his, looked up at him with your chin planted on his chest. “How am I reading, Dr. Reid?”
“Not well,” he tutted, brows dipped with sympathy, eyes sparkling with genuine care as foreign as it comes. “Which is valid, every horrible and amazing feeling that you’re experiencing is completely valid.”
“I’m scared she’ll never forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to be forgiven for, you are not her keeper, she knows that, you love her but that’s still the truth,” he kissed your forehead, squeezed you a little tighter than before. “You know all of this, but I won’t stop reminding you.”
“Can we visit her?”
“As many times as you need to.”
You stood like that for too long before the room echoed with far too eager knocks, dinner was cold but delicious as only Rossi can achieve and when the cake came you were sat on the floor next to Spencer, smiling as Derek bargained for the biggest piece. Spencer’s hand was entangled with yours in his lap, head on his shoulder and for just a second you felt light, weightless- new.
“Are you still okay, sweetheart?” he whispered with a soft smile, hopeful and you nodded, instantly took the plate when JJ handed you the biggest piece of cake.
“I think so, Spence, I think it’s all going to be okay.”
Maybe it was delusion, maybe tomorrow you’d wake up drowning in dread and pack your few unpacked boxes to go back, maybe you’d stay and spend every second hating yourself for giving up on her, not saving her, maybe she’d finally leave and start over. Maybe you’d stay stuck in time, lingering between the first time he did it and the last, forever the little girl who grew up too soon because someone had to take responsibility for saving her. Maybe you had no purpose beyond that, maybe that’s what you were made for, to fix her and comfort her and stand up for her. Maybe you were the biggest of failures for thinking you could have more from life than that horror, that love ridden burden. Maybe peace only comes after and not during life, born into chaos, into hatred out of young love, maybe the idea of your freedom was as fleeting as his affinity for family. How can someone raised in darkness ever dare to look for light, let alone try and live in it? Maybe you were only ever meant to be nothing more and nothing less than a lesson about how broken people make broken children. Shackled by the knowledge that you never should’ve been, she’d left him sooner if you weren’t.
Imagine that, your whole life devoted to making up for being born, for making it impossible to leave until it was far too late. Hope and freedom, like love, is nothing but a golden cage.
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queensunshinee · 17 hours
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Time Of Our Lives || Part 9
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warnings: SMUT! 18+!, dirty talk, p in v sex, oral sex, fingering, praise.
Part 9
"What did I miss?" Liana asked as she sat down, seeing the boys exchange looks. Sometimes they spoke without words. She always envied that connection. She didn’t have anyone who could understand her with just a nod or a blink or, in this case, a stare.
"Hello, Earth to Art and Patrick?" she tried to join in, but something about the current situation didn’t feel right. "It's my turn to go inside. I need to drink some water. You two catch up, it's been a while since you’ve seen each other," Art said without looking at her, causing Liana to frown as he walked away. "That was weird, right?" she asked Patrick, who responded with a half-smile. "When is Art not weird?" he said. "How are you?" he asked, turning his gaze back to her and seeing her give the widest smile she could offer anyone. "Do you forgive me?" she asked, moving to sit next to him, placing her head on his shoulder. "What do I have to forgive you for, Amanda?" he chuckled, tracing shapes on her shoulder while taking another sip of champagne. "I was terrible. The exams made me crazy," she tried to justify her behavior over the past month. "Do you know if you're leaving yet?" he asked. "I’ll know when we get back from vacation. I’m terrified," she murmured. On one hand, Liana desperately wanted that year in Oxford. She wanted to see Europe. The architecture. The atmosphere. The culture. She wanted to see something other than the American suburb she had lived in her whole life, with the same people and the same opinions and the same tennis. On the other hand, she didn’t want to break her parents’ hearts. Her parents who had always talked about Stanford and how she’d join the family business after she finished school, and her parents who were the best people she knew but whose dreams for her flew past them as if they were never there. And now there was Art too. Art, who in the past two days had made her feel things she had never felt before. Art, who in the months at Stanford had become an inseparable part of her life. Art, who made her stomach ache at the thought of not seeing him for a year. Art, who still didn’t know she was considering leaving. "You’ll pass that test, we both know you will," Patrick said calmly. "And then you'll conquer Europe, building by building." He chuckled, but his voice faded with each word. "And we'll stay here, missing you," he said, and she straightened up, looking at him. "I’m not going to die, you know," Liana rolled her eyes, trying to lighten the conversation. "No, you're just going to meet people much better than us, and I'm enough of a bastard to be worried about that," he said honestly. "I don’t think there are many people in the world better than you, Patrick," she concluded. The next day Art left. He texted her that a spot opened up in some tennis group he could join, and he didn’t want to miss the opportunity. That he’d see her at Stanford. When Liana tried to call, he didn’t answer. So they kept missing each other throughout the vacation, she trying to call just as he was going into practice or the shower or falling asleep, and him sending messages that he was okay, just busy. On the last day of the vacation, she received a message that her exam results had come in. She had been accepted. Liana cried. Which wasn’t anything special because objectively Liana cried a lot, but this time she cried out of excitement. All the effort she put in had paid off, and now she could prepare for the student exchange. She could make her dream come true, start being a real person in the world. The conversation with her parents was horrible. There were shouts and accusations, and her mother said they wouldn’t pay for this, which Liana had suspected might happen. Her father seemed more conciliatory but didn’t say much. "Do you think Mom will be mad at me for long?" she asked him on the way to the airport. If there was one thing Liana hated, it was that it was always obvious she had been crying. Her pale face would turn red, and her eyes would swell, sometimes for days. This was one of those cases. It could be said with confidence that Liana looked like she had been run over by a bus yesterday.
"I know it doesn’t look like it, but we’re proud of you. Mom will come around, don’t worry," her father hugged her as they got out of the car. "I want this so much, Dad," she sighed.
"I know, honey," he said, kissing the top of her head. He hated seeing the emotional turmoil his daughter was in. His daughter, who above all feared disappointing people. "I’ll come back to Stanford after that," she mumbled, feeling the lump in her throat take over again. "I don’t want her to hate me," she looked at him with teary eyes.
"She doesn’t hate you. Li, look at me." Her father tried to wipe her tears. "Your mother is a stubborn woman, and you’ll see that a month after you’re there, she’ll come visit you." He smiled, and she nodded, not sure she believed what he said. "Besides, you have another semester at Stanford. Make the most of it, maybe you’ll love the place as much as we did." He shrugged, seeing her take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I love you, Dad," she hugged him again and started to walk away, hoping everything would calm down and her mother would eventually look at her like she did before she told her she was planning to leave. Art opened the door after five knocks, looking at her with a puzzled expression. "Did we have plans?" he asked. "Hey Arthur, I missed you too," she rolled her eyes and gave him a small kiss on the lips, seeing him close his eyes and deepen the kiss within seconds as he closed the door. "Hey," he smiled at her and moved her hair out of her face. "Have you been crying?" he asked after examining her. Art couldn’t stop himself from asking. It was like an instinct; seeing what he could do to make her feel better. But he was so mad at her that he didn’t really want to talk to her or know how she felt right now; after all, she didn’t care how he felt. He did want to fuck her. He wanted to feel like she was his. He was afraid he was a little addicted to the feeling of looking at her and feeling like she was entirely his. He was afraid that if she left, he wouldn’t feel that way again. He was afraid of losing.
"Did you know?" his mother asked on the phone. Her voice worried. "What?" he returned the question, panting after practice. "That Liana is planning to leave for Oxford? Did you know that?" she demanded the truth. And the truth was that he knew she was leaving. But he didn’t know where or when and he didn’t know it was official. His heart pounded faster. "Yes, I knew," he mumbled, not wanting to reveal how far he felt from Liana in reality. Not wanting to reveal how stupid he felt that of all people, Patrick knew before him. "How could you not say anything, Art, she's our Liana. How will she manage in England alone? She barely manages to find her way in the supermarket without getting lost," his mother sighed. And she was right. He knew she was right. And she wasn’t even their Liana; she was his Liana. And she was his Liana for exactly two days. What an idiot he is. "She’s a big girl. She can navigate the supermarket in England without getting lost. I have to go," he mumbled, angry at himself for still feeling the need to protect her. "Just tired from the flight," she smiled at him a tired smile and felt his lips leaving small kisses on her neck, causing her to close her eyes. "Can I help?" his voice was teasing as he took off her shirt without much resistance. Examining her for a second, as if trying to remember how she looked. "You're already helping," she smiled a genuine smile, and his lips were on her again, hungrier than she had felt him so far. "I want you so much, Li," he groaned into her mouth. His tongue intertwining with hers as if he had wandered for years in the desert and she was his source of water. "Do you want this?" he asked, as they moved to his bed and she nodded. In complete haze, at this point, she decided that Art Donaldson could do whatever he wanted with her. And it was a liberating decision. Knowing she was safe in his hands and he decided how good she could feel now. "Words, Liana," he demanded as he started taking off her jeans. She didn’t even notice she was already half-naked in front of him. "You're wearing too many clothes," she mumbled incoherently as his hand brushed over her panties. "You're already wet, Li?" his voice was amused as he took off his shirt. "Already ready for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet," he whispered in her ear and heard her moan, which caused him to release a groan of his own. "Do you want this?" he asked again. This time his hand applied more pressure over her panties. "Art." Her voice was desperate. "Please," she whispered, and he bit his lip. Stopping himself from all the things he wanted to do with her. "Please, what?" he asked, his mouth close to hers, teasing, barely touching. He kissed her right cheek and then her left
"Touch me. Please," she almost cried out of frustration and desperation, exactly the way he wanted her. His. His again. And he felt desperate too, so her panties came off in a flash and he gave her exactly what she wanted. He heard her moan beneath him as his fingers moved inside her rhythmically. He felt how tight she was. He tried not to imagine his dick inside her, thinking he might not last. She was a virgin. He knew that. She had told him. He was going to be the first inside her. "So good for me, Li," he murmured and smiled, never taking his eyes off her. He didn't think anyone could look better than Liana did now, beneath him, eyes closed, desperate sounds escaping her, moaning his name. He was sure the student in the room next door was jerking off to the sound of her. He was sure no one in the world could resist Liana Levy when she looked like that beneath him. He was no different from anyone else. Almost captivated. Almost helpless. Just wanting to deliver. Just wanting her to always be like that for him. His lips roamed over her body until they reached her clit, while his hand sped up.
"You take me so well, Li," he said as the room filled with the sound of her fluids and moans.
"I'm going to-" she mumbled, her voice breaking, making him look up at her. He had to see her come. He had to remember this moment.
"Come for me, Li, come on. I want to see you," he demanded in the most authoritative voice he could muster, even though he felt himself melting under her influence.
"Art," she moaned again.
And he was right, her face in that moment was truly the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his 20 years of existence. Her half-open mouth, her eyes closed, slightly teary, her hand on her breast. It was a magnificent sight and he knew only he had seen her like this.
Her body shook and he gave one last kiss on her sensitive clit, then stood before her.
"Open your eyes, Li," he said, and she did exactly as he commanded. "Kiss me. Taste yourself." Another half-command with a smile and scheming eyes. Within seconds, her lips were on his, her tongue mingling with his intensely, just wanting more.
"I want to be inside you," he murmured, and she nodded. "Can I?" he asked. He had to ask. He knew she could say no and he would have to accept it, and if he were less greedy, he might even be satisfied with that anyway.
But he was so angry with her. He wanted her to know. He wanted her to know that just as he was hers, she was his. That she couldn't just ignore him like that. Dismiss him as if he didn't matter.
"Yes," she murmured into his mouth, feeling him smile against her.
"Yes, what?" he asked, teasing.
"Fuck me," she whispered, and it came out vulgar and blunt, uncharacteristic of the girl in front of him. She was even surprised by the words that left her mouth, her eyes widening for a moment before remembering it was Art and relaxing. She was safe with Art. He wouldn't use her words against her. It was okay for her to need him.
"I didn't hear you," he murmured, removing the rest of his clothes and moving to his desk to grab a condom. "I'm on this side of the room, Liana. You need to speak louder." He leaned against the wall as he put the condom on, taking a breath. He had to steady his breathing if he wanted to last inside her for more than three seconds.
"Please, Art. I want to feel you inside me," she said louder, more confidently, more desperately. He moved toward her. "Please fuck me," she looked him in the eyes and bit her lip, feeling almost small but also kind of powerful. He looked almost as desperate as she did as his hand traced her face and then her chest, stopping at her sensitive nipple, making her moan.
"That much, huh?" he asked, positioning the tip of his dick at her entrance and hearing her sigh in response. "Don't worry, I've got you. Are you going to be good for me, Li?" he asked, watching her nod in response. "Are you going to take me like you were made for me?" he asked again.
"Yes, please. Art." She was almost crying with frustration. Liana didn't know what to do to make him enter her already. To feel him. For him to fill her with himself. For him to be close to her. Part of her. She didn't know when she started feeling all these emotions for Art Donaldson, but now was not the time to figure it out. He began to slide into her.
"Oh, Art," she bit his shoulder, making him groan.
"Fuck, Liana. So tight. Fuck. Hang in there, baby, are you okay?" he asked, studying her.
"More," she mumbled. The pain didn't matter. She just wanted him. She wanted all of him. He did move more. A bit more each time. Another moan and another sigh each time until he was fully inside her. Their lips merged in their most sloppy kiss yet. They were one for a moment.
"You can move," she managed to say after a few seconds.
"Are you sure?" he asked, seeing her nod. "Fuck, Li. I won't last long like this," he murmured, his movements gentle. He was careful with her.
When he felt he was close and knew she wouldn't come from the first time someone inside her, he added a finger to play with her clit.
"Fuck, Art," she moaned his name for the umpteenth time.
"I know. You're doing such a good job, Li, taking care of me so well," he said, feeling her tighten around him, bringing him to the edge almost with her.
After a few seconds, he gently pulled out of her, seeing her panting and feeling just as spent. He took off the condom and walked it to the trash, finding his boxers on the way and putting them on. He saw the girl in front of him, completely naked. Completely his.
"When were you planning to tell me?" he asked, looking at her from a distance.
Liana was still in euphoria, her eyes half-closed, confused by the question. "What are you talking about?" she sounded amused, looking at him with a smile as he put on a shirt. For a moment, she felt fragile, not understanding how she was still completely naked while he was fully dressed in front of her.
"About leaving Stanford. About Oxford? I don't know. Maybe there are more things you'd like to tell me." His gaze was cold, making Liana freeze too. She felt her nakedness now. She understood why he was dressed and she wasn't. She was vulnerable right now.
"How long have you known?" she asked quietly, swallowing and searching for her clothes.
"My mom asked me about it yesterday," he said, never taking his eyes off her. "Do you know how stupid I felt when I lied and told her I knew?" he asked. His voice didn't rise, but the frustration was clear.
"Art, I found out two days ago," her eyes glistened and she breathed quickly, feeling everything slipping away from her. He was slipping away from her.
"You're lying," he stated with an eye roll, sitting down on the bed.
"Art," she knelt in front of him, studying his face. He showed no emotion, only coldness.
"It's okay, Liana. We both know what this is," he said, instinctively moving her hair out of her face.
"What is it?" she swallowed. She knew Art. She knew he was about to say something he'd regret, and yet she still pushed him to say it.
"It's me passing time until Tashi realizes she wants me," he said, seeing her expression change to one he'd never seen on her before. She moved his hand from her face quickly and scooted back on the floor as fast as he didn't know she was capable of, as if afraid of his touch.
"Wow." She swallowed, looking at him, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you," she tried to salvage the situation, and he chuckled.
"Come on, Liana." He rolled his eyes and lay down on the bed, no longer looking at her.
"You just fucked me, Art." She felt sick. It was the first time she had slept with someone. He knew that. She felt so humiliated.
"I know. I was there, and if I remember correctly, you asked for it. More precisely, you begged-"
"Shut up. Just shut up." She cut him off and stood up. She couldn't hide her tears anymore.
"Why did you do it? We could have just continued meeting at family dinners. Seeing each other in the hallway and occasionally saying hello. Why did you do it?" It came as a sob. She had never felt so humiliated. It was like a truck had run over her.
"I was bored, and you were cute, and let's be honest, a little desperate," her hand found its way to his cheek with a force neither of them knew she possessed. She wanted to apologize automatically because she wasn't violent, but it didn't come out.
"I hate you so much. I will never forgive you. You are the worst person I know." She mumbled and moved toward the door.
"At least I beat Patrick to it," he found himself saying. He had to have the last word in every argument.
"No, Art. You lost to Patrick. Even in twenty years, you won't have half the character and heart that Patrick has already. You're a complete loser compared to him, and I hope you never forget that." She said without stuttering while he didn't take his eyes off her, swallowing hard, finally hearing the door slam.
The moment Liana reached her room, after passing a considerable number of people who looked at her with worried expressions, some even trying to ask if she was okay, she collapsed on the floor and let out the loudest cry that had probably ever escaped her. She felt dirty. Almost used. She had trusted the wrong person.
She picked up the phone to call the only person she thought could understand her.
"Liana, are you okay?" Patrick sounded concerned and confused, probably because of the late hour.
"He really hurt me and I didn't know who else to call," she managed to say through her tears, hearing Patrick sigh, as if silently saying he knew. He knew this would happen.
Writing this part kinda broke me. I know Art was being cruel, but well, he was acting out without thinking about the consequences. Got your requests and maybe on the weekend we'll give Liana/Patrick/Art some more layers. Keep sending me questions and such. I LOVE it. Hope you're still enjoying and again, if you wanna join the taglist, say the word ❤️
taglist: @swetearss @ganana @yoitsme-04 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @serenadingtigers
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kymerawrites · 11 hours
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Sugar daddy Simon x OC
Ghost was sat in a room with his team while they were being debriefed about their next mission. His attention was dragged away from his captain speaking once he felt his phone vibrate insistently in his pocket. He pulls it out, already irritated at the interruption and ready to hang up when he sees the contact name. Shym. Ah, hell. He can never resist shym is his only real weakness.
He excused himself and stepped out into the hallway where he answered the call. “ Hey, sugar. “
He leaned back against the cold wall. He missed her so much, it’s been a while now since they were last together. He wanted nothing more than to see her face even if it’s through the phone. That’s why he never let her send him pictures, in case he lost his phone. “ I’m sorry for not calling earlier.” He said lowly, his English accent slightly thick now with his tiredness.
“It’s fine Simon, never apologize for keeping the world safe.” I laughed
That’s the reason why he loved her so much. Even though she doesn’t know what he does she still understood and respected it. She never pushed him for answers, never nagged him while he was gone and was still by his side when he had his bad days. He chuckled lowly. “ Have you been behaving? “ He asked with a teasing smirk.
“Hmmm, give me an example?”
His smirk widened. He could practically see her pout through his phone and just the image of it made his chest feel tight. “ Have you been taking care of yourself, eating and sleeping well? I haven’t been there to make you. “ He replied.
“I’m doing amazing, the girls are going shopping today, sort of challenge but I’m not participating.”
He hummed and crossed one foot over the other. He hated hearing about her being with the girls, especially when he knew how rowdy they got. Just imagining her in a club or bar with drunk men circling her made that possessive feeling in his chest grow. “ Oh yeah. And why aren’t you going?” He asked, his voice a bit lower.
“They have this challenge, ask their partners for a creditcard and go on a shopping spree.”
He raised a brow at that. He wasn’t surprised that those girls came up with something like that, but the thought of Shym doing it rubbed him the wrong way. “ And you’re staying home because you know I’d never give you my credit card. “ He mumbled.
“No not at all, ofcourse I need some new clothes, want to look all dolled up for you when your back, but I should do that with my own money.” I mumbled
That made him freeze. Now he imagined her dressed up pretty for him and it sent a flare of want and need to his chest. He clenched his jaw and shifted on his feet, trying to ignore the thoughts that suddenly filled his mind. “ Don’t worry about looking dolled up for me. “ He muttered in a tight voice. “ I’d rather take the clothes off of you anyways. “
“Some new lingerie would help with that won’t it? Change of scenery” I whispered
He bit back a curse at her words, trying to keep his voice steady. “ And why is it that you want that all of a sudden. “ He said, even though he already knew the answer. The images filling his mind were sending a slow wave of heat through his body, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Oh baby, haven’t you forgot that the knife play you do torn a lot of my lingerie and clothes” bastard I thought
A smirk tugged at his lips. He knew she was a bit miffed about him damaging her clothes and lingerie. But that just made him smile more. “ I’ve noticed you complaining about it too. “ He stated, keeping his tone calm. But he couldn’t help but tease her a bit, his voice lowering into a low whisper. “ But when it’s happening you don’t really protest now do you?”
He could practically her blush through the phone at that tease, his smirk growing more now. His hand moved up to the back of his neck and rubbed it absently. She was too easy to tease sometimes. “ You like it don’t you, sugar. “ He said, his voice coming out more rough now. He couldn’t stop the images that filled his mind as he spoke, they were starting to effect him too now.
“ You like when I leave marks all over you. “ He continued quietly. “ Leaving you all bitten and bruised in the shape of my hands. “ He knew they were both getting effected by his words. He could hear her breath hitch slightly on the other line and it made his pants tighten in response, biting his lip under his mask.
“ You don’t complain when I rip through your clothes to touch your body. “ He said, his voice barely a whisper now from the huskiness of his voice. He wasn’t sure he could stop the words even if he wanted to. Her soft breaths against the phone was making his chest tighten with need. “ When I use my knife to- “ he stopped himself before his voice got too ragged.
“Amex gold in the 3rd drawer, buy some nice stuff.” He said out of no where
Ghost froze, his mind momentarily distracted from his own lust and his smirk faltered slightly. Was he really giving her his credit card? He didn’t have to. She certainly didn’t need it. But when he thought about it, his eyes darkened. The thought of her buying something with his money and wearing it had his blood heating. He took a slow breath in, trying to push down the possessive feeling in his chest.
“ Are you sure about that sugar? “ He muttered, moving his hand to his jaw and rubbing the skin there. He knew he should be telling her no. But that damn possessiveness he had was making him hard to think clearly. He wanted her in his clothes and in his things.
A grin formed on my face “I’ll make sure I’ll look perfect when you come back.”
A shiver went down his spine at her soft reply. He could practically see that cheeky grin on her face. And he hated the fact the the thought of her in anything of his was making him needy and wanting. She was going to be the death of him. “ Don’t tease me, sugar. “ He muttered, his voice coming out as a near growl.
I laughed “go back to your debrief baby, I’ll talk to you soon.”
Ghost couldn’t keep the grumble from leaving his throat as she ended the call. He was going to be useless in the debrief now. His mind had now been filled with the image of her buying clothes with his credit card. It was almost like she did this on purpose. He put his phone away and took a moment to compose himself before heading back to his debrief.
He was definitely turned on. But he tried to force it down as he walked back into the room. His captain picked up the conversation but he barely even heard it. His mind was filled with thoughts of Shym spending his money, wearing his clothes. It was driving him insane thinking of it.
And I went crazy on my shopping, but kept it on a limit. 5k max, the poor man’s credit shouldn’t become a issue in the future.
I got a facial, new hairstyle, shoes, clothes, makeup and the cherry on top expensive lingerie.
Despite only having a limit on the credit card, it didn’t take long for the charges to appear on his account with every purchase she made.
He groaned when he pulled out his phone to check his credit card usage and saw all the transactions. 5k was gone within an a few hours. But he couldn’t deny that he liked it. She was using his money and buying things they both would enjoy. He bit his lip as he checked how much he had left and decided it wasn’t a problem. He could just ask for an increase if he really needed to.
But the fact that she had just spent 5k on makeup, shoes etc. made him smirk. His mind immediately went to imagining the amount of things she would buy with a higher limit. But he couldn’t let himself dwell on that at the moment. He had a meeting to go to and his captain would notice his distracted state if he didn’t compose himself quickly.
That evening he FaceTimed me, still with his mask on and getting ready for bed, we had a little timezone difference as I was in New York and he was in Chile on a mission
“Enjoying the summer weather right now in chile?”
He was in the room they gave him for the mission. He had just finished changing into some clean clothes after a long debrief and was just sitting down on his bed, checking his phone. He chuckled at her words and leaned back, laying against the headboard. “ You could say that. “ He replied as he shifted on his bed, getting comfortable. “ The heat wave has been a pain to deal with while in the field. “
I scoffed “English lads cannot deal with shite, when can I finally take you to my parents in the Seychelles without complaints?”
He rolled his eyes as she teased him, knowing full well that he absolutely hated the heat. It was ironic given that the first place she wanted him to go to was to her parent’s villa in the hottest place in the world. “ Never. “ He replied. “ Can your parents even handle me, sweetheart? “ He shot back teasingly.
He could tell by her expression that she was pouting at his response. He chuckled at that and felt a pang of wanting in his chest. He missed her face. “ Stop pouting love. “ He chastised, his voice quieter now. “ Can’t believe you’d rather take me to a hot sunny island than a cold snowy one. “
“You want exotic, you get exotic!” I exclaimed. “Wait let me turn on my camera, look at my hair!”
He groaned in response, already knowing that she was just taking the piss now. “ exotic huh? “ He retorted, shaking his head in fake disappointment as he watched her turn on her camera. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the new look, his eyes darkening as he took in the new colour. “ Well… looks good. “ He said, his voice coming out a bit strangled.
His pupils dilated quickly, his hands clenching into the sheets. He didn’t expect her to do that so suddenly. “ Christ… “ He mumbled, his voice coming out in a rough whisper. “ You’re cheeky… “ he said, his tone slightly scolding as he swallowed hard.
He could feel himself growing hard from the brief view and he growled softly in frustration. “ Shouldn’t have done that when I’m not there to touch you sugar. “ He hissed, his grip getting tighter on the bedsheets.
I started to touch my bra “means you need to come back fast.”
His eyes followed your hands as you started to touch your bra. He wanted to touch it. “ You’re not making it easy. “ He grumbled, shifting on the bed and grabbing his mask. “ You’re being naughty when I can’t even touch you. “
He pulled his mask off and raked a hand through his hair, trying to push back the lust building in his body. His eyes were dark as he looked at her. “ You’re being extra cheeky, sugar. “ He said, his voice sounding more rough now.
“Send more cash and I’ll behave..” I laughed
He cursed silently in his mind when she said that. He hated how damn easy she could rile him up, and even more how easily she could get him to cave to her demands. He didn’t even hesitate before he quickly logged into his app and transferred more money.
He wasn’t even sure how much he sent as he was too hasty in giving in to her. The second it was transferred, he looked back up at her, his eyes darker than before. “ Should I send more. “ He growled, his voice coming out as huskier than usual.
I smiled and let me camera see my thighs, red pantie with gold chain on my belly “maybe..”
His breath hitched at the sight of her thighs and the red panties. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to try and compose himself. But it didn’t really help. “ You’re going to drive me insane… “ He muttered, his voice coming out as a low growl. “ I bet you bought them with my card as well.”
“All for you baby, you know I’m your sugar.” I whispered
He felt his chest twist at that and his eyes darkened further. “ Too damn sweet for me. “ He grumbled, his gaze roaming over all the exposed skin on the screen.” When I come back I swear I’ll leave your skin bruised.”
He felt the possessive feeling grow in his chest. This wasn’t fair. She was thousands of miles away and he couldn’t even touch her. “ Teasing me when I’m not able to even hold you. “ He growled as he stared at her. “ You’re going to be the death of me, sugar.”
My hands traveled over my belly towards the rim of my panties
His eyes immediately followed the movement of her hands towards her panties and his breath hitched again. He bit his lip, trying to control himself but failing miserably. “ Jesus Christ… “ He muttered, his eyes glued to the screen.
“Can I touch myself for you si?”
He growled when she asked that, his eyes darkening even more. “ Christ…. “ He was struggling to keep his voice in control now, his chest tightening. “ You want to touch yourself for me, sugar? “ He asked, his voice coming out as a gruff whisper.
He ran a hand down his chest, wanting the touch her so badly it was driving up insane. “ Do it. “ He said, his tone commanding now
He leant back against the headboard, getting comfortable as he watched her intently. “ I wish to Christ you were here in front of me. “ He bit out, his voice coming out as a huff.
My finger making circles, aroused, in need of touch, arched back. He saw it all “I miss you too baby.. but I can’t stay dry forever.”
His breath hitched at the sight before him, his mind starting to race at the sight of her arching back. “ God you’re beautiful.” He choked out, his voice strained as he watched her. “ Keep taking your time… I want to watch every movement you make.”
I started to whimper “send some more money baby I’ll give the best show you want..”
He groaned at the sound of her whine but wasted no time sending more money. “ How much more do you want, sugar. “ He growled out, his eyes glued to the screen, watching her movements.
“Make it… it… 1k” I whimpered
He grunted but obliged, sending the money immediately. “ You’re getting spoiled. “ He muttered as he watched her on the screen. “ But goddamn do I like spoiling you.”
He shifted on the bed, his sweatpants starting to get tight with his growing need. His eyes were fixated on her, his hands clenching the sheets tightly. “ Keep going.. “ He encouraged, his voice coming out as a ragged whisper.
He ached to be the one touching her instead of her own hands. His chest felt tight with want as he watched her movements on the screen. “ Tell me what you’re thinking about.” He asked, his voice coming out in a low growl.
“I’m thinking about you, how you should be ripping my clothes now..”
He growled at her words, his eyes darkening even more with possessiveness. “ Goddamn it… Wish I was there to rip those new clothes to shreds. “ He muttered, his grip on the sheets getting tighter.
He shifted slightly on the bed again, his body feeling like it was on fire. “ You wearing anything that’s mine sugar? “ He asked, his voice coming out huskier than normal.
I kept circling and showed my new heels, clear glass and high “I hope you like them..” I started to moan as I became wetter
He growled softly when she showed him the heels. “ I like all the things you bought with my card. “ He said, his gaze darkening as he watched her move. “ But your new moans are the best thing you’ve gotten with my money so far.”
“It’s VIP..” I started to arch again and it became intense “si…”
He groaned at her arching, feeling himself straining in his pants. “ God… “ He muttered out, his body feeling like it was on fire from desire. “ You’re being extra needy when I’m away. “ He said, his voice coming out as a rough grumble.
“I can’t hold it any longer..” I moaned
He felt the need to touch her growing stronger as he watched her on the screen. “ Don’t hold it anymore.” He ordered, his voice coming out as a ragged whisper. “ I want to watch you….”
And I released, I felt hazy hands wet and sticky from myself
He inhaled deeply at the sight of her release, his body feeling like it was burning with need. He wanted to touch her so badly. “ Christ… “ He muttered as he watched her, his eyes darkening further.
He shifted again on the bed, trying to get some relief from the tightness in his pants. “ I wish I was the one giving you that cum. “ he growled out, his voice ragged. “ Goddamn it… “
He clenched the sheets tightly, his body feeling like it was being consumed by her. “ You look so goddamn beautiful when you come. “ He choked out. His eyes were glued to the screen, taking in every movement she made. “
You make me want to break opsec and come home so bad. “ He growled softly, his body feeling like it was on fire.
“Then make sure those enemies are dead in no time. Now go focus on your job I’m tired baby..”
He nodded, reluctantly agreeing with her. “ Fine. “ He huffed out, his body still feeling like it was on fire from desire. “ Get some sleep sugar, I’ll finish up and be home soon. “ He said, his tone coming out gruff and rough.
“Will do Simon, I love you and stay safe..” I gave a kiss trough the camera
He chuckled softly when she gave him a kiss through the camera. “ Love you too, baby. “ He returned the kiss with one of his own. “ I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? “ He said, his tone still sounding a bit rough, but softer now.
He looked at her for a moment, his eyes softening. “ Sweet dreams, okay? “ He said before reluctantly ending the call, his body still feeling like it was on fire with need.
67 notes · View notes
ollypopwrites · 2 days
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Bite Down
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Rolan x F!Tav (she/her, AFAB) [** Tav's class is not mentioned. There's discussion of how she is not a tiefling, but no other hint to her race. Her appearance is also not discussed aside from some mentions of her being curvy/plus size/etc. There's not a lot of body diversity in the game, so I wanted to write a softer Tav. Other than that I tried to keep it as general as possible.]
Summary: Tav and Rolan seemed to always find their way into each other's beds, but it was never meant to be anything serious. When he finds out Tav lets her resident vampire feed from her, he realizes just how serious he would like it to be.
Rating: M (18+ MDNI)
Tags: Smut [PiV, f!receiving oral sex, biting, nipple play, marking, dirty talk, very light dom!rolan -- mostly feral!rolan who takes the lead, light blood play, light pain play, overstim] possessive behavior, jealous behavior, pining, and after care.
Word count: 4.5k
Notes: is it still pining if technically they've fucked already? not sure.
Read on Ao3
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In some way it felt like being a teenager again, hiding away with Tav for a moment of privacy. She had told him she knew a spot, away from teasing siblings and tadpole connected companions. When she tilted her head conspiratorially and nodded to the Elfsong’s kitchens he had waited a few moments before meeting her back there. The cooks had said nothing when she grabbed him and dragged him to the cellar, and then into a secret room hidden behind some huge barrels of wine. 
It was filled with cobwebs and cages, along with a few racks of weapons. The only semblance of comfort was a small nest of bedrolls and blankets tucked away in one of the corners. 
“It’s not romantic but when I need a minute away from the camp it does just fine.”
“The rusted halberds certainly add… ambience,” he looked at her with a slightly bemused expression.
“There’s another less creepy hidden room I’d show you if it weren’t for,” she pulled a face, “the fact it’s currently filled with the corpses of a githyanki scouting party.”
Rolan blinked a few times at her, still finding himself at a loss at some of the things she said. Her life was a truly chaotic and absurd string of events. She shrugged, giving an adorably embarrassed half giggle and looked away from him. Pulling out a bottle of wine, she waved it enticingly at him before procuring some glasses and started pouring. 
This was the ritual, thus far. It had started at the party after she and her friends had saved the Grove, it had meant to be a single night tryst. He had the slightest hope he would find her in the city after they all made it, but he was under no delusions about what she was facing. Her entire life revolved around getting the mindflayer tadpole out of her head and his focus was getting to the apprenticeship at all costs. 
Then the Shadow Cursed lands happened. Where he was a real bastard, and she somehow forgave him. It was piss poor timing, to realize he was entirely enchanted with her in nthat place. At the time even just looking at her filled him with complete rage and shame. He blamed her, but mostly himself, and he wanted to bare his teeth and gnash and growl because it was better than giving into despair. He wanted her comfort, but he didn’t deserve it, and he hated himself for not being able to do it on his own. Yet there she was, bright and sweet and always so willing to help. Even worse, she always managed to succeed despite the odds making him feel so inadequate. 
It brought out a insecurity driven hostility that he was not at all proud of. He hoped by the time she saw him again he would be on his way to being a properly trained wizard and just altogether less of an ass. Someone worth knowing. 
After Lorrokan he’d felt raw and foolish and disenchanted. He was happy to be free of him but he was such a mess of mixed emotions. He needed some time before facing his siblings, who he had all but ignored besides sending money and short letters. If Lia ever found out what Lorrokan had been doing she would have done something stupid and Cal would have joined her, so he'd kept them away. Facing them and explaining what had been going on felt like such a heavy task. 
Tav hadn't judged. She had even. gone out of her way to further humiliate Lorroakan by making his corpse admit what she seemed to already have known: Rolan was more powerful than he ever was. When her companions took their leave, she had stayed behind and tried to distract him by suggesting they raid what had to be an incredibly expensive wine collection. It ended with her in his bed, a quiet gentle night where he buried his face in the crook of her neck afterward and she just held him. Vulnerability he had scarcely even exposed to his brother and sister came so easy for him with Tav. 
After that he had hidden away with his siblings to figure out just what the hell to do as the master of a tower. It wasn’t until she had turned up at Sorcerous Sundries a few days  later that he had gotten the courage to ask her if she was interested in having a glass of wine with him again. 
Drinking wine and talking always led to her kissing him. She always made the first move to lean in close and wait a beat for him to either allow it to happen or reject her advances. He was always keen, and never even tried to hide it. He had thought her beautiful from the moment she butted into his argument with Lia in the Grove, despite being annoyed at her intrusion. Even when he was determined to hate her his mind had turned to the softness of her while he pulled at his cock in fleeting moments of alone time at the Last Light Inn. 
As usual, her touch made Rolan suck in a sharp breath when her hand came to his cheek and gently caressed over a still healing bruise left over from Lorroakan. She always was so gentle, and generous with her touch, making him crumble and forget his pride in an instant. He cared about her a concerning amount, despite the shortness of their acquaintance, and he was always painfully obvious about it whenever she broke the fragile wall of his demeanor. He softened so easily for her. 
Her lips, just as plush and soft as he remembered, parted as tongues began to move against one another. Hers searched, tickling over his own lips and trailing over sharp teeth. It felt like the world stopped for a little bit, as they leisurely kissed  in a hidden back room, the quiet stillness making each excited breath and soft sound of enjoyment plain to hear. His tail curled around her, loose and leisurely. 
Rolan ducked his head, going to press his lips against her neck. His mouth met with a slightly rough scabbed hole. It was not unusual for her to have left over bumps or bruises from whatever fight she found herself in. The pair of puncture wounds on her throat, however, were perfectly spaced apart for it to have come from another person’s mouth. 
“What is this?” He asked, his fingers coming up to trace the wounds. 
“Hm?”
“Something bit you,” he said, his tail beginning to flick in short angry patterns. “Some one .”
Had she been with another tiefling recently? Perhaps Karlach or maybe even Wyll, who was a devil, but the distinction hardly mattered in this instance. These were bite marks from someone with sharp teeth; it could have been either one of them. The nasty flame of jealousy sparked his already quick temper, and he scowled as he looked at the pair of punctures on her skin. 
“Oh,” she said, “yes, Astarion needed to feed before we got into the city. There was nothing he could hunt in the Shadowcursed Lands.”
“You feed him your blood?”
“He’s a vampire, it’s all he can really get sustenance from.”
“I know that,” he said, shortly, “but I didn’t think you let him drink from you.”
“Normally he doesn’t,” she raised her eyebrows. “He usually picks off whoever is trying to kill us that day. But as I said, he’d been low on options until we got here.”
If Rolan were feeling more reasonable he could listen to the logic of it. She was their leader, she took the responsibility very seriously: if one of them needed something she was going to provide it. And the Shadowcursed lands had been entirely inhospitable to life, there was honestly almost nothing for Astarion to feed off of. 
“Rolan?” She asked after a few moments of his angry silence.
“Do you sleep with him?”
“What?” She pulled back to look at him in slight shock and disbelief. "No.” 
She didn't say as much, but he reminded himself that it wasn’t really any of his business even if she did. There was no agreement of exclusivity between them. No discussion of intentions or anything of the sort. They’d had sex at a party and then once again his first night in ownership of the tower. It didn’t matter that he thought of only her when he pleasured himself, or that he had spent hard nights after Lorrokan’s beatings imagining she would walk through his door with an easy smile. She wasn’t his but he couldn’t deny the needling reality that over the past few weeks he had started to consider himself hers. 
“Do you like it?”
Tav looked at him quizzically. “Being drained of blood isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”
“But the biting?”
The hard truth was he could hardly blame Astarion, vampire or not. Tav was soft in shape and feel, she was strong of course, but at least in appearances her skin was plush and delicate. Rolan had only ever slept with tieflings before, and while their infernally ridged skin was not rough to the touch it was just naturally a bit more durable. They had to be with their sharp nails and teeth, he'd never had to worry about if he was being too rough. That first night with Tav he had been shocked and intrigued by the easy way scratches raised on her skin and how her flesh was indented by his teeth. He’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about biting into her again and again, just to feel what it was like.
Tav’s breath hitched, and her defensiveness had melted into uncertain embarrassment. “I - I suppose I would? If it weren’t for the bloodlessness —“
Rolan leaned in to kiss her again, messy and possessive, tail wrapping around her wrist. His body pushed hers back a bit onto the bedroll, and when he pulled his lips away his teeth latched onto her bottom lip. The gasp she gave made it slip from him, and she got shoved entirely onto her back as he went for her throat. Tail and one hand pinning her wrists to the ground, his other tilted her chin up and aside. The column of flesh was almost entirely unmarked, save for Astarion’s work. He opened his mouth wide enough to clamp down and each of his sharp canines dug in. Beneath him, he felt her body tense up at the sudden sensation. 
But she moaned. And he heard a rumbling groan leave his throat that sounded alarmingly like a growl. 
His mouth sought after more untouched skin. Tav kept making soft, helpless little noises that spurred him on, it felt so good to have her flesh between his teeth. When he looked down at her she was a bit of a mess, covered in new love bites, parted lips swollen and her eyes lidded as she looked up at him. 
Adorable , he thought to himself. 
Besides being so beautiful and powerful and capable he couldn’t help but think about how cute she was. Sweet despite the trail of bodies in her wake, and always giggling and smiling — tits and ass bouncing with every step she took. So cute, in fact, he couldn't help but keep squeezing and biting. At the juncture of her shoulder and neck, he dug in harder than he intended to — Tav hissed in pain. The slightest hint of iron bloomed on his tongue. He pulled back, seeing he had broken skin. It was much smaller than the vampire’s bites, more like pinpricks in her skin beneath the discoloration of a bruise. 
“I’m sorry —“ he breathed. 
“S’okay,” she shook her head. 
“Do you like it?”
She licked her lips. A brief flash of bashfulness ran over her face; she chewed on the inside of her lip before she nodded a little. “Yes,” she said meekly. 
“Me too.”
“I can tell,” her hand pulled out of his tail’s hold, coming up to the tented fabric of his robes over his crotch. 
He grunted. “Y-yeah.” He swallowed, grasping onto the remaining capability of thought, “if it’s too much —  we can stop, we don’t need to —“
“I trust you,” her smile was genuine, just slightly hazy, but her eyes sparkled with affection. He was mesmerized. “Do you trust me?”
“With my life,” he answered too quickly, and too earnestly. Were there more blood for him to spare between his cock and his already heated body he may have blushed.
“I’ll tell you if I need to stop.” 
“Good.” He kissed her. 
Clothes were clumsily pulled off, until they were both all but naked in the lowlight of the candelabras in the room. With her bare before him, he kept biting every bit of skin he could get to, ignoring her attempt to reach down and stroke his cock. He felt an unignorable need to keep marking her, to clench his teeth around her beautifully adorable body. He was being incredibly greedy, wanting to make sure that anyone who saw her knew that he had been there. 
Taking the weight of her breasts in his hands he pressed them together, ducking his mouth to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it. She gasped, hands gripping into his hair. Her nails were hard enough that he felt the scratch of them on his scalp, but not nearly painful. The feeling had a shiver starting from the base of his tail up to the top of his head. 
“Gods above, Rolan,” she murmured. 
His thumbs took over in teasing the rigid peaks, as he moved his mouth onto the impossibly squishy and generous swell of her breasts. Sucking and biting until he was satisfied with the discoloration before he moved onto the same spot of the other. His knee came between her thighs, and she ground her cunt against it the moment she felt it there. Wet and somehow warm enough for him to tell she was burning for him despite his infernal blood keeping him always a fair bit warmer than her. His teeth wrapped around a nipple, extremely careful but she faltered in her breathing and tensed up in anticipation. 
But he just ran his tongue over the tip until she whined, letting it go easily when she bucked her hips against his thigh. 
“I want to taste you,” he said. 
Tav laughed a little, “as if you haven’t been trying to eat me alive already.” 
“Shall I stop?”
“Did I tell you to stop?”
“It sounded like you were complaining,” he grumbled. 
“You would know all about that,” she teased. “It’s one of your specialit — ah!”
Rolan repaid the teasing with another harsh bite on the side of her neck. Her fingers tugged at his hair, and he bit down harder. His fingers tweaked her nipples, his thigh pressed against her cunt, and she twitched a little before going limp. Tav whined and clenched her eyes shut against the sensations. 
It was a strangely satisfying show of submission. He felt his cock drip precum, his tongue dancing over the dent in the shape of his teeth in her skin.
“Let me taste you,” he said again. 
“Yes, yes, yes,” she breathed in response, frantically. 
Rolan dragged his canines along the softness of her tummy, liking the small scratches they made in their wake. When he was finally between her thighs, he groaned into the skin. As was his desire, he started nibbling into the skin there too. Her fingers still tugged at his hair, scratching his scalp and making him groan in pleasure. When he licked along the lush seam of her cunt he shuddered, her needy little whine and the taste making him feel dizzy. The vampire may have tasted her blood, but now so had he. The privilege of knowing what her arousal tasted like on his tongue was something he was sure none of her companions could claim. 
He got to hear the way she keened as he found the way to make her hips nearly buck him off of her, and the needy noise she made when he shoved them back down. There was no force in Faerûn that could pull him away from pushing down her hips and devouring her. In his haste and mindless goal to simply claim and consume, it took him longer than he would have liked to admit to keep track of what had her gasping for more. But once he did he didn't stop until her legs tried to close in on him, and even then he let himself be squished between the strength of them. Her high pitched moan echoed off of the ceiling, reverberating through his skull in a blissful ring, his eyes nearly rolling back. Soft skin bracketing his face, the smell and taste of her invading his senses all the while her moans tickling his brain made his hips grind down into the blankets beneath him. He felt her pulsing against his tongue, and dipped it into her hole greedily tasting the rush of wetness that followed after. 
“By Ao, you —“ she cut herself off with a hiss as his mouth latched onto her clit again, “fuck!”
No God’s name would do coming from her lips, only his name, only pleads for more, for him. She was sensitive, and it was plainly obvious by the way she devolved into helpless sounds as her hips ground against him. This was what he wanted, to have her entire world fall away to nothing except him between her legs, her unfettered attention as he made her feel so blissful she forgot how to speak.
He got carried away, not keeping track of how many times she came on his tongue until finally she yelped and grabbed his horns. When she tugged him away from her he admired his victory — she was a wreck of love bites, kiss swollen lips open as she gasped for breath, and eyes swimming with unspilled tears. Rolan felt her wetness on his lips and chin against the cool air of the cellar, tongue swiping over his lips for another taste of her. 
“Too much,” she gasped. 
A darker voice in him wanted to tell her it would be too much when he said so, but he was still himself despite whatever had come over him. Perhaps one day they could experiment, perhaps one day they could do this right and he could see how far he could really take her. He could make those tears spill over, making her come over and over until she was incapable of speech let alone thoughts. A shudder ran down his spine, tail lifting excitedly at the idea. 
But this was a spur of the moment tryst underneath the Elfsong, and he wasn’t going to stop everything now to negotiate limits and safewords and the like. 
“Do you,” he breathed, lifting himself up to get away from the temptation of her so close to his mouth, “do you want to stop?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I want you to fuck me.”
His so far ignored cock bobbed between his legs, and he closed his eyes as he moaned at the words. With haste he brought himself onto his knees, grabbing her thighs and tugging her half into his lap. Nestling between her thighs, he watched as he slotted himself against her, rubbing through the wetness and nearly choking on the air he was breathing. Her hand came between them, grabbing his cock from where he unthinkingly kept rubbing it against the silky wetness, and pressed it to her entrance. 
Rolan went rigid. Tav gave a little smile. His hips pushed forward, savoring the slow penetration as she surrounded him. He waited, enjoying the soft squeeze of her, and gasped when her hand came to his cheek. The unspoken hung in the air, she had him, he was safe, he was doing good -- he was perfect the way he was cupped in her palm like this. He opened his eyes, meeting hers and very nearly confessed an undying love he was unsure he was aware of before. 
There was some unknown magic in Tav that seemed to bring down the walls of almost everyone she met. He fancied himself a logical, and practical, man. He’d known this woman for mere weeks, a very short time in the grand scheme of his life, and yet it felt like he could tell her anything, and be his worst and still get that sweet smile from her. In fact, he had been the worst version of himself and she had shown him patience and compassion anyway. 
He knew he liked her, otherwise why would he be in this creepy hidden back room rutting like a beast on a makeshift bed, but love? 
Despite the constricting bliss of her cunt around him, sharp reality bled into his mind. He told himself he would properly court her once she was free of her tadpole. Then he could entertain the idea of love. Until that day came, he had a tower and unending resources of a magic nature to keep her safe, and the privilege of being the one she turned to for a reprieve from the horrors of her new fate. Which, he admitted, also granted him the pleasure of being able to bury his cock in her. 
“Alright?” She asked him, thumb trailing over his lips before she moved her hand to rub at the center of his brows which where furrowed. 
Rolan felt his throat tighten. She was so incredibly gentle with him sometimes he had no clue how to properly react to it. He just nodded. 
He needed to get out of his head, he needed to get back to the warm wetness he was currently feeling. Sliding his hips back and then thrusting forward, her hands fell to his forearms and her body laid back against the bedroll again. The skin of her hips dimpled under his grip, and he tightened his hold. It was a sinfully delicious feeling to slide against her walls, and he felt every other thought start to slip away again. His eyes danced over her body, now riddled with his own marks, but when he caught the vampire’s bite his jaw clenched, remembering where this all started. 
Perhaps he shouldn’t wait until the present danger was cleared. Perhaps he should just go against his usual self-preservation and simply tell her he wanted her to be his, only his. A harsher thrust had her tits bouncing with the force of it and kept going at the same intensity to watch it happen over and over again. 
“Gods, Rolan,” she moaned. “You feel so good.”
His jaw went slack at the praise, spurring him on to keep going. When her hips met his, rolling to meet each thrust, the slap of skin on skin started to fill the room loudly. One hand reached for her breast, fingers dancing over the bite mark he had left. 
“Will you let your cleric heal these away?” He asked breathlessly. 
Tav gulped, her hand coming over his on her breast. “I don’t want to. Do you want me to?”
Stupid question , he thought, and maybe said aloud given the way she laughed. It was hard to think now that he was thrusting in and out of her. He covered her body with his, arms wrapping around her so her own were pressed to her side. All she could do was grab at his arms, holding on as his weight pushed her legs further apart and pressed him deeper into her. 
“No,” he said, biting down on her shoulder hard enough that she yelped in pain. “I want you to go back to camp, hardly able to walk,” he said between making another bruise. “Covered in my marks — fuck, I want them to know I nearly had you in tears fucking you with my tongue.”
Gods, that was vulgar — he nearly apologized until Tav let out a gasp of his name, her cunt clenching around him. His mind went fuzzy again. There was no need to be proud and dignified for her, he could just say what he was thinking, even the deepest filthiest thoughts that came to his mind while he fucked her. 
“I’ll send you back with my cum, dripping out of you —“ he gasped. 
Tav’s back arched, her eyes rolling back a little as she came, surprising them both with the suddenness of it. Rolan was losing his rhythm, body pulsing with a need for release. No more words came to mind, just the ringing sound of her voice chanting his name and her walls fluttering around him. It was a chain reaction, as he suddenly felt the tension snap and came, whining as he did, desperately thrusting into her heat as his vision whited out. 
When he went limp against her, he took a couple breaths, the haze of the possessive flames in him subsiding. He had proved himself, he had her exactly as he wanted, and she had eagerly let him. Rolan lifted his head to kiss her. Softly, wordlessly gentle, only pulling away to press their foreheads together. The desire to say something, to tell her just how much she meant to him, but self-preservation was back in full force. The words wouldn't unstick from his throat. He helped clean her up, kissed softly at some of the harsher marks. He wanted to murmur words of encouragement and care as they curled up together, but he couldn't trust himself to not say too much. Rolan's arms, legs and tail wrapped around her as he breathed in the quiet of the afterglow. At the very least, he could trust his body to communicate what he was too afraid to say. 
“Rolan,” she said gently. 
“Hm?”
“I —“ she started shyly. “I don’t want — I haven’t been with anyone else, not since… “ she chewed on her lip, trying to decide what to say but coming up short. “I’m trying to say, I’m not interested in anyone at camp. Or, anywhere else, actually.”
Rolan’s tail wrapped around her leg, and he finally felt himself start to blush a deep crimson. “Good.”
Really? That’s all he had to say? He’d just told her more filthy things than he’d thought he’d ever said in his life but all he could come up with was ‘good' when she told him exactly what he had been wanting to hear. He cleared his throat, steeling himself to not fuck this up before it ever had a beginning. 
“You’re incredibly busy, what with the tadpoles and the cultists and all of the characters you run around with, but,”  he started, “perhaps when all of that is over we could… begin a courtship.” 
“Doesn’t courting come before sex? Bit out of order, don’t you think?” She smiled. 
“You deserve a real courtship,” he said seriously. “I owe you that, at least.”
“You owe me nothing,” she kissed him. 
“You’ve changed my life in unimaginable ways. Are you this altruistic with everyone?” 
“Don’t know if I should answer that,” she bit her lip to stop a smile, “I’ve learned you have a jealous streak about you. I’ve got dozens of bite marks to show for it.”
“Yes,” he grinned, “you do.”
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Thank you for reading!
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mrm0rgansw0man · 22 hours
Note
hi !! can i have a more angsty arthur fic of the reader admiring him from afar and wanting to give him all the love he’s deserving of but feels she doesn’t have the chance to ? :)))) happy ending would be nice maybe arthur reads a note of hers !
god i love writing angst. LETS DO THISSS
hope you enjoy!! Xx @risingtripletaurus
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I can let you down, I can make you Hurt.
Bitter, freezing cold. That was all you felt. Just the cold and the ache in your heart. Your whole chest ached, from the cold or from the emotions you were feeling you didn't know.
This whole Blackwater fucked up mess was just what you needed. You had already been struggling, being new to the gang and trying to help out and earn your keep. And, not only that, but Arthur Morgan hated you. You were sure of it, you had no clue what you did to offend him but just until right before this mess he started pulling away from you.
He was always friendlier with all the women of the camp, but you and him had taken a liking to each other. But one day, it just stopped. The hellos. The cups of coffee he'd bring you every morning. The shared cigarettes. The random talks, it was so nice. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't fallen for him. You though he could be falling for you too, but looks like you were wrong. You knew it was too good to be true.
"You're so down." Charles said simply. You looked up at him, not even having noticed he came into the cabin you had been sitting in.
"I can practically feel it in the air around you." He continued. Your eyes flit away from him and back to the floor. You watched a few snowflakes melt into your boots.
"Why do you care?" You asked quietly. "I'm sure you've got much better things to worry about than my problems."
Charles shrugged. "Just wanted you to know I'm here if you want to talk. I'm not doing much lately, cause of this hand. So I've noticed more."
Tears welled in your eyes. You blinked them away before you thought Charles could notice. But he still did.
"I've never seen you like this before. I'm worried about you, (Name)." Charles said. His voice more stern now. "Ask anyone, it feels like and looks like, no offense, that the life has been drained out of you."
"It's jus' the cold..." You mumbled. "I'm fine Charles.."
"You know, I was sitting in this cabin with you for hours. You didn't move once. You didn't even know I was here, did you? And Abigail came in to try and talk to you, but it was like you were in a whole different world."
Uh oh. Fuck. He's got you there. You didn't even know Charles had come in, let alone Abigail.
"Have you ever had to love someone from a distance Charles?" You asked weakly. You finally lifted your head enough to meet his eyes.
"No." Charles said with a sigh. "But I can't imagine it's a great feeling."
"It's not." You said with a sniffle. "Not at all."
"Can I ask who it is?" Charles asked you cautiously.
You let out a choked cry. You took a few deep shaky breaths, trying to keep yourself together. It was getting harder and harder by the second. God dammit Charles why do you have to care?
"Arthur." You whispered, wiping away the few tears that managed to escape your eyes. "It's Arthur."
Charles didn't say anything, he only nodded. So you kept talking.
"He was so kind to me when I first started riding with you. We got on real well too." You said, finally starting to weep. Who cares anyways? "I started falling for him. Quick and hard, and could you blame me?"
"No, I was convinced he was sweet on you." Charles admitted. Though all it did was send more tears floding out of your eyes.
"He'd bring me coffee in the mornings. We'd talk. He always said Hi to me at the very least when we crossed paths." You said softly. "And he made sure I was eatin'- I mean you know how I was when I first got here."
"Always sick and thin as paper." Charles said grimly, having been on of the few people that helped take care of you during that hard time.
"Neither of us sleep very well, he'd come find me or I'd go find him. We had such nice talks on those nights, he opened up to me. Like really, really opened up to me. And I opened up to him too." You continued, your cries becoming harder and your voice rising.
"I don't know what I did!" You cried. "But one day it all just stopped! He wouldn't talk to me, he hasn't even looked me in the eyes Charles! I don't know what's wrong with me! I just want to love him!"
"Oh (Name)..." Charles started, but you cut him off.
"He deserves so much Charles!" You sobbed. "He is such a good man, no matter what he says when he looks in the mirror! I just want to love him, he doesn't even need to love me back! Do you know how pathetic that is? How disgustingly pathetic I am to love him like this!?"
You inhaled and exhaled at a frantic pace, running your hands over your tear soaked face. It was too much. You couldn't breathe. You wrapped your arms around yout face and buried yourself in your knees. Charles rushed to your side, kneeling down next to you. He placed both his hands on your shoulders and just stayed there, giving you something to hang onto. Keeping you grounded.
You finally lifted your head and met Charles's eyes, only to find them already locked on you.
"I just want to love him. T-that is all I w-want." You managed to get out between sobs. "And now I've lost m-my chance! I can't keep going like this Charles! He's- he's been through so much. That poor man has suffered and s-suffered and I just want t-to make him feel like he deserves something!"
"Arthur-"
"Needs me! And I need him to need me because look how badly I need him! If he doesn't love me the-then what am I supposed to do?!"
You broke apart, sobbing harder than you were before. Probably harder than you have ever cried in your life. Charles caught you, and he wrapped his arms around you. He let you sob and scream into his chest until you couldn't breathe.
"I just want a chance I just want a chance! I want to know what I did wrong!" Was all you could say, over and over again. Charles rocked you back and fourth, letting you cry yourself out. It took at least an hour, but eventually your cries had lulled to a stop.
Once your breath had returned to normal, Charles spoke.
"I'm going to go get Miss Roberts and Miss Gaskill. They'll take care of you. I'm going to talk to Arthur, don't you worry about this for another second." Charles said soothingly. It was all you could do to nod a yes at him. He pulled away from you, but right as he was about to reach the door you called out for him.
"Why are you being so kind to me?" You asked horsely. Charles looked back at you and gave you a small smile.
"First of all, I like you. Quite a bit, your a good person (Name)." He said simply. "And secondly, you haven't moved from that spot for over a day and you haven't even noticed. Someone needed to do something."
And with that, he left. You sat in silence until Abigail and Mary-Beth showed up. They tried to talk with you but you didn't have the strength to even reply to them. They accepted this, and helped you to your room and laid you down in your cot.
You laid there for what felt like hours, completely lost in thought.
"Glad to see your feelin' better, Miss." Arthur said, handing you a tin cup filled with scalding hot coffee. You took it gratefully.
"Thank you, Mr. Morgan." You said with a smile. "I've got to say I'm liking your company more and more each morning you visit me."
"Oh don't be too flattered, your jus' the only one up as early as me." Arthur said with a smirk, playfully elbowing you in the side. You chucked and hoped Arthur didn't see the blush spreading across your face.
"Well a girl can dream!" You said, that same flirty smirk crossing your face.
"Arthur! I need to talk to you!" Dutch called.
Arthur groaned in annoyance. He turned to leave, but at the last moment he turned back. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it.
"Meet me at the campfire tonight. We never get t' talk without gettin' bothered." Arthur said. You nodded your head happily as he turned to leave, running of to do whatever the hell Dutch wanted him for.
You felt yourself smiling at the memory, even if it was just a weak one.
That night at the campfire was the first of many, you two met every night you could. And that was when you truly began to fall for Arthur, those nights by the burnt out campfire. The last night it happened, you told him about your life before joining the gang, and why you were so sick when you first arrived.
"No one in my family was right." You said with a deep sigh. "My daddy hung himself in our living room right before my mama had me. And since then she just never had any happy in her head."
"Jesus.." Arthur mumbled. "Was your Mama good t'you, at least?"
"Pfft, no!" You said with a laugh. You took another swig of whiskey from the bottle Arthur stole from Pearson for you. "Beat me halfway to hell every other day. I think she had some disease. Think I might have it too, honest to god."
"D'ya really think that?" Arthur asked, taking a swig of his own whiskey bottle.
"I jus' get so low sometimes.. Not enough happy in my own head." You said sadly. "Not something I can really help, but it happens. Part of the reason I was so sick when I first got here, that and being out in the elements."
"What a woman you are, Miss. (Name)!" Arthur said with a laugh. "Survivin' yer' Mama, survivin' runnin' away into the wild, and survivn' yourself!"
Arthur and you spent a lot of time talking about your past life that night, so much time you had finished that whole bottle of whiskey. Bittersweet tears filled your eyes as you remembered what happened next.
You stood up from the ground, and wobbled your way over Arthur and poked him in the chest.
"Tell me, Mr. Morgan!" You slurred. "What have you survivedddd?"
"Oh sweetheart, we ain't got time for that tonight." He said, shaking his head at your drunken boldness.
"Pleaseeee Arthurr??" You whined, a wrong step sending you tumbling down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you instinctively, and you smiled happily. It was a giddy childlike smile that Arthur would never forget.
Arthur had no idea what possessed him to do so, but he gulped down the last of his whiskey and started talking.
"My mama died when I was real young..." Arthur said, his voice going quiet. "My daddy was a thief, a petty one at that.. Wasn't even a real father. He wasn't good t'me at all. The lawmen got him when I was jus' eleven."
" 'M so sorry Arthur..." You said, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tight. He rested his chin on your head and returned the hug, god it was so nice to be held like this. To be able to feel freely.
Arthur had no clue why he was so drawn to you from the very start, but ever since he first laid his eyes on you he couldn't get enough. He knew he was a goner, but he'd be lying if he said the thought didn't terrify him. Hell, sitting here like this with you terrified him! But even with the fear in the back of his mind, he could feel the whiskey clouding his thoughts and what little remained of the walls he so constantly put up crumbling.
Arthur went on about his family for a bit, and then told you all about getting taken on by Dutch and Hosea. He told you about what a deliquent he was, told you about when they brought John in. And Miss. Tilly. Then he told you all about a girl named Mary Linton, and about the love they used to share. You listened intently to every word, even in your drunken state. You prayed to whatever god above that you remembered this all tomorrow.
"I had a boy once." Arthur said, after a long stretch of silence. "His name was Issac. He passed on, though."
"Oh Arthur." You whispered, finding his hand and holding it tight. "I'm so sorry!"
"Some bastards killed him 'nd his Mama. Eliza." Arthur said, his voice breaking. "Shot 'em. All for a measly ten dollars."
"What is wrong with this world.." You murmred. Arthur just shook his head.
"I wasn't there f'him much. I shoulda been a better father to my little boy..." Arthur mumbled, his words starting to slur. "I was good to them when I was 'round, but that doesn't make up for nothin'. I'm a horrible person, (Name)."
You sat up, moving your legs around Arthur so you were straddling him. You grabbed his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes.
"Did you love his Mama? Did you treat her well?" You asked fiercely.
Arthur nodded his head frantically. The change in you startled him.
"Did you play with your boy? Did you hold him? Did you tell him stories, or sing him to sleep?" You pressed on, even with the tears forming in Arthur's eyes.
"Y-Yes!" Arthur said, stumbling over his words. "He was small, but he still liked to run. He liked being held-"
Arthur stopped, a strangled cry escaping his throat. You took your hands off of Arthur's face and wrapped both of your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms back around you, burying his face in your hair and neck. Arthur thought that he should want to leave, but he realized he'd rather be buried alive then leave your arms right now.
"His favorite was 'Hush Little Baby'" Arthur said softly, you could feel the tears falling from his eyes now. "I was so happy to sing it to him the last time I...."
You sat up- which scared the wits out of Abigail and Mary-Beth-and covered your eyes. Trying to block out the image of what came soon after that.
The comfort you brought Arthur. The way he held your face in his hands. The kiss, so passionate. You both tasted of lust, whiskey, and pain. It was a fiery mix of emotions that sent you both stumbling into his cot and ripping off each other's clothes.
And then he wanted nothing to do with you.
"Honey? What's wrong?!" Abigail said, she wrapped her arm around you and Mary-Beth took your hands off of your face and held them.
Charles had given them a brief explanation of what had happened, but they were anxious for him to get back. They wanted to know what Arthur had to do with you being in an absolute state. They sent each other worried glances.
"When will Charles be back?" You asked with a sniffle. You leaned into Abigail and held Mary-Beth's hands tighter.
"Shouldn't be much longer, I promise honey." Abigail said.
"Want to tell us what's wrong?" Mary-Beth asked softly, she was testing the waters.
You looked between your two friends, and smiled weakly. God, you loved them so much.
"Okay."
»»———-  ———-««
"Arthur? Are you here?" Charles called out before going right into Arthur's room.
Charles found Arthur sitting on the edge of his cot. He was reading a letter.
"What is it, Charles?" Arthur said, still not looking up from the paper in his hands. Arthur didn't even seem like he was listening to Charles.
"Put that down. I need to talk to you." Charles said, his voice becoming more serious.
Arthur re-read the words written on the paper one last time before looking up at Charles.
'Arthur, please tell me whatever I did. I just want to talk to you again. Please, just talk to me whenever you read this. Your true friend, (Name)'
"You know, (Name) isn't doing good. She's been sitting in the corner of her room, curled up. Not moving, not talking. Nothing." Charles said simply.
Arthur's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. Charles continued.
"I sat there with her for hours, and she didn't move a muscle. I watched Abigail come in and try and talk to her, but it was like she was talking to a wall." Charles said. "And that was after Molly had tried to talk to her for hours the night before. She's the one who came and got me."
"Is..is she alright?" Arthur asked, his nerves evident in his voice. He knew this was his fault. He could feel it in his bones. Oh god, he was a fucking idiot,
"No! She's not alright!" Charles snapped. "She barely even looks human! When I finally got through to her all she could do was cry! And she was crying about you!"
"No.." Arthur said softly. "Where is she now? I need to go see her-"
"You can go see her when we're done here." Charles said sternly. "Arthur, did you know she was in love with you?"
Arthur ran a hand over his face. Oh great, now he'd really done it.
'I'm such a piece of shit..' Arthur thought to himself. 'God.. Oh my god..'
"No." Arthur said. "I jus' thought... I don't know what I thought! I jus' didn't think she loved me."
"I just want to love him. He doesn't even need to love me back." Charles said with a sigh. "That's what she said to me, while she was sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. And then 'I just want a chance! I want to know what I did wrong!'"
"I get yer' point!" Arthur shouted. "Jesus christ..."
"She's broken. Between having to be here, the whole mess in Blackwater and you completely disregarding her, she is broken." Charles said.
"I KNOW GOD DAMMIT I GET IT!" Arthur shouted, standing up from his cot. Charles stood firm, crossing his arms over his chest. He had said his part, now it was Arthur's turn to speak.
"Does.. Does she really love me?" Arthur asked weakly, taking off his hat and running his hands through his hair. Charles nodded. " I thought she was just' sweet on me a little bit, I thought I was jus' sweet on her.."
"Do you feel different now?" Charles asked. When he joined this gang, he never expected this would be the role he took on. Oh well.
Arthur stilled for a moment. He knew how he felt about you. But how could he even say it out loud, knowing how love had turned out for him in the past?
Mary had to leave him. Her father hated him because of his life as an outlaw.
His love for Eliza and his child only got them shot.
How could he condemn you, someone who has suffered and suffered, to a life with him? He wanted nothing more than to make you feel loved, protected, and cared for. He wanted to hold you like he did that night, to keep you close. To kiss away all your pain and never let you feel like you don't deserve it. Because you deserved the world, Arthur just didn't think he could give it to you.
And he was scared. He was so scared, so instead of being a decent fucking human he ran. And now look at what he did to you. Sent you right back to that dark part of your mind where you never wanted to be stuck in again.
"Yes." Arthur said finally. "But, how could I even try anythin' with her? I don't want nothin' happening to her cause of me! She deserves so much more than I can give her!"
"Arthur, I don't think you understand." Charles said with a deep sigh. "She doesn't want more! She isn't expecting anything of you! All she wants is. you."
"Why does this matter to you anyways! Who are you, t'come in here and talk t'me about this!" Arthur spat. "You have no right-"
"Yes I do!" Charles said, his voice rising. "I took care of (Name) when she first joined us, so I'll continue to take care of her now! She can't function! She needs you, Arthur! And I have a feeling you need her too."
Arthur stood there, glaring at Charles. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to scream foul things at him, for getting into his head like that. But he also wanted to thank him. For being there for you while he failed miserably.
"Figure it out. And then you go see her." Charles said coolly. "Don't go see her like this, she's not strong enough."
Charles left, Arthur's cold stare practically ushering them out the door. Arthur stood there for a few more moments, not really knowing what to do with himself. Charles had sent his mind reeling.
He knows what he wants to do. He wants to go to you, hold you, kiss you, tell you how sorry he is. Tell you that he loved you so much but he got scared, and instead of facing it like a man he ran like a boy. He never wanted to hurt you, but look how bad you were hurting now!
You loved him. And he loved you, but Arthur ran away and now would you ever be able to forgive him? He hadn't even told you he loved you! Arthur was sure he had already ruined everything. Not to mention the two of you slept together, which Arthur didn't even know if you knew it happned or not you were both so god damn drunk!
Arthur sat down and sighed. He took out the letter you left for him to find. He read it again, only this time he stopped over a certain line.
"Just talk to me."
It echoed in his mind. Arthur could practically hear your voice, begging him to talk to you. And he knew what he had to do. Arthur folded the letter up and placed it neatly in his pocket, before placing his hat back on his head. He made a beeline for the hut you were staying in with Molly.
»»———-  ———-««
You had just finished telling your sob story to Abigail and Mary-Beth when Charles returned, not even giving them a moment to react.
You didn't even look up at him when he came back, feeling so weak having to relive what happened with Arthur yet again.
"He's coming. I don't know when, he needed to collect himself. But he'll be here to see you, (Name)." Charles said softly. You nodded, reminding yourself to go and thank him properly when you were better.
"Miss Roberts, Miss Gaskill, please stay with her until Arthur gets here." Charles asked them. Of course they agreed. And then Charles left, god he needed a drink.
Abigail and Mary-Beth stay there with you, wrapped up in blankets in your cot. It was a comforting couple of minutes of silence before Arthur practically broke the door down and rushed into your room. Abigial and Mary-Beth said some hurried goodbyes to you before rushing out of the room.
You knew Arthur was there, but you couldn't look at him. You continued to lay down on your cot, wrapped up in blankets and facing the wall.
Arthur looked at you for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and starting to speak.
"(Name)" Arthur said softly. "Can I uh.. May I sit with you?"
You rolled over slowly, and forced yourself to meet Arthur's eyes. They looked just as broken as yours did when you looked in the mirror. You nodded yes weakly, and Arthur sat down on your cot next to you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you closed your eyes. Arthur saw the tears flowing from them.
"I'm so sorry honey." Arthur said with a shaky sigh. "I should never have pushed you away like that."
"You fucked me." You spat, opening your eyes to look at him. "You fucked me! And then you wouldn't even look me in the eyes!"
"You know!?" Arthur gasped, completely shocked. He didn't think you were sober enough to remember what happened that night.
"I OPENED UP TO YOU ARTHUR!" You yelled, finding the strength in your anger to sit up in your bed. "I GOT CLOSE TO YOU- I LET YOU IN! YOU KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME KNOW ONE ELSE DOES!"
Before you even knew what you were doing, you got up and started pounding your fists against Arthur's back. He was caught off guard, so you got a couple solid punches in before he turned around and grabbed you by the wrists.
"You FUCKED ME! AND THEN YOU THREW ME TO THE SIDE LIKE SOME WHORE! YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU! AND ALL FOR WHAT!? ALL FOR WHAT ARTHUR MORGAN!? IS THAT ALL YOU WANTED FROM ME FROM THE START!?" You cried, not knowing when the shouting stopped and your tears began.
You fought to get your wrists out of Arthur's grasp. But he wouldn't let you go. In fact he held on to you tighter, pulling you firm against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you tight and without even knowing what he was doing started peppering your head with kisses.
You punched, you sobbed, you screamed, you fought like a bat outta hell trying to get out of his grasp. But Arthur wouldn't let you go. He took every hit, every foul name and every insult.
Eventually, your thrashing stopped. Your sobs turned into small shaky breathes, and instead of punching him your arms were wrapped around his neck and you crawled into his lap. Arthur started rocking you back and fourth, and was whispering comforting things in your ear.
"I didn't know you remembered.." Arthur said softly. "Honey.. I thought I took advantage of you. I didn't think you'd wanna sleep with me if you were sober."
Arthur felt you softly shaking your head, but you didn't speak. So Arthur kept talking.
"I never woulda' acted how I did if I had known you remembered that night." Arthur whispered. "And, I can't lie to ya' honey. I was afraid. I didn't feel worthy of somthin' like what we had going on. I wasn't thinkin' right- actually I don't think I was thinkin' at all."
"Do you love me?" You asked, your voice a broken whisper. "Arthur I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. You know just as well as I do that there is some type of connection between us that we didn't even spark ourselves. Everyone saw it happen before their very eyes."
Arthur looked down at you, and you were looking up at him already. You looked like a scared little girl, and it broke Arthur's heart. How could he have done this to you?
Arthur swallowed thickly. It was now or never. He was afraid, but his fear meant nothing. Nothing mattered when it came to you. Arthur couldn't bare to lose you, especially not like this.
"Yes." Arthur breathed out, a small chuckle leaving him. "God, I love you so much. Please forgive me f'being such a goddamn moron-"
Before Arthur could continue, you grabbed Arthur by his coat collar and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. Arthur moved his hands to cup your face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears that fell from your closed eyes.
You kissed until the both of you needed to pull away for air, and then Arthur kissed you again. He never thought he'd be able to feel your soft and loving lips against his own ever again, so he made sure to savor every moment.
Once you had both caught your breath, Arthur sat there. He held your face in his hands. The love in his eyes sent a blush to your cold and tear stained face.
"I love you (Name) (Last-name)." Arthur said, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "S'much. More than you'll ever know. More than I'll ever be able to show ya' sweetheart."
You let out an airy laugh, and for the first time in a long time you felt like you could breathe. Your chest wasn't heavy anymore and it felt like your heart was actually beating.
"But I sure as hell will try. Like you said, there is somethin' between us that's not even we could control." Arthur said softly. The smile on his face sent butterflies to your stomach. " 'M so sorry I made you feel so horrible. I'll do everythin' I can to make this right. To make us right, honey."
"It's okay.." You whispered. "It's not entirely your fault, y'know I'm sick anyway-"
"Which is another reason why I shoulda' been smarter!" Arthur said, his voice soft still but also firm. He pulled you into another hug. "I need to keep the happy inside your head."
"You remember that?" You gasped. You were deeply touched that he had remembered something so small.
"I'd have to be dead to forget any of the talks I've had with you sweetheart." Arthur said, his tone nothing but truthful. You smiled into his chest, his words made you feel like you were floating on a cloud.
You both sat there in a comfortable silence, Arthur gently rubbing your back and rocking you back and fourth. You had your eyes closed, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Arthur noticed a shift in your breathing, and he knew you had fallen asleep.
As quietly and comfortably as he could, Arthur shifted so that you were both laying down again. Arthur wrapped you up in a blanket and let out a content sigh. This felt so right. So perfect. He was still scared, but he couldn't let it keep him from you. It was better to be afraid with you, so you could learn and grow together, instead of pushing himself away and hurting the both of you.
"I'm gonna give you the world, my sweet girl. Jus' you wait and see.." Arthur whispered. He planted a kiss on the top of your head, before drifting off himself.
»»———-  ———-««
a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this! ive literally spent all my free time on it the past few days lol i got wayyy to invested into this, but are we suprised at this point??? Xx
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This might seem like a weird thing to get hung up on, but in reference to your post about Wyll's hairstyling, someone made the comment that they imagined Mizora used magic to braid his hair as part of their pact. You replied that this was a racist idea and offered to explain why, but they never commented back. If you're still willing to discuss it, I actually would like the explanation. I'm not disagreeing that it's racist, I just think I'm missing some of the nuances/reasoning.
The only explanation I can think of is the way that Wyll's relationship with Mizora is treated, both in and out of game, just makes the joke really not funny. I hate that Mizora is treated as a quirky, love-to-loathe-her side villain when she's essentially Wyll's abuser. She should be treated with the same gravitas that the writers treat Astarion's relationship to Cazador, or Karlach's relationship to Zariel. Then you've got the fans, who can write loads of rants and analysis of Mystra "grooming" Gale on what I would consider very little basis (adults can have teachers too), but stay pretty mum about Mizora, who started manipulating Wyll when he was 17, isolated him from any support systems he might have had, and literally tortures him with the torments of Hell for disobeying her. I forget which conversation it is, but Wyll even describes her visits to him after he completes a task for her as her "saying all the right words" and "touching him in just the right ways."
Maybe I just haven't seen people talking about it because I'm not looking in the right places, I tend to keep most fandoms at arm's length so I'm not swallowed whole by their nonsense. I'm sorry if this turned into an extra long vent message, but I hope it shows I care about Wyll as a character and the work you're doing in general to improve the portrayal of black characters in fiction and fandom.
I mean, you pretty much said it all. I mentioned in my hair lessons that hair is very important to Black people, and that it's also a matter of consent. You wouldn't want just anybody touching your body, and that includes your hair, yes? So it would be incredibly violating for some white person that is essentially your abuser touching your hair, your body, something that is important to you! How can there be real consent if someone OWNS you? Hair is something that requires trust and intimacy. Especially with the idea that a white person would know better how to do your Black hair?! No thanks.
It's also something that ties into my most recent lesson with stereotypes, plus issues with how men are perceived with abusers. The idea that a boy should be "grateful" that a woman is attracted to/attached to them, even when it's inappropriate. For me, what I see when I see Mizora is a white coded woman allowed to mistreat a young Black boy into his adulthood, and treated as though he brought it on himself, as if he deserves to be mistreated by someone who took advantage of him. I see that people won't take that violation seriously, bc no one cares about the dignity of Black bodies nor do we offer them grace under fire.
Whereas if this were a young white girl, and an older Black coded male demon had done these things to her, all hell would break loose. Fans would immediately understand that that sort of relationship is not appropriate and we should not just assume that "oh well it's just sexy".
I mentioned in the last lesson that this sort of "attraction" has gotten Black boys and men killed at the whims of white women. It's not "funny" to me to think that some white coded woman is allowed to treat Wyll that way and everyone is just... Cool with it. I'd be very nervous to ask your opinions on real Black people.
It's honestly why I felt uncomfortable getting interested in the fandom to begin with, in addition to everything else involved with Wyll and his VA Theo. BG3 doesn't seem like a welcoming place fr, and I too have to keep fandom at an arms length for racism reasons, but as I've done with fandom before this: that's my chance to maybe create something that's missing. 👍🏾
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cosmicjoke · 2 days
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Well, in the wake of chapter 58 of "Saezuru", I see the usual blame game going around the fandom, some people saying the current situation is Yashiro's fault, or it's Doumeki's fault.
The thing is, this situation isn't either of their faults, as in, neither of them is fully to blame, and neither of them is completely without responsibility either. The real issue going on here is trauma and the ways in which their respective traumas are interfering with their ability to move forward.
Part of the problem with leveling blame, or most of the blame, onto a single party, is that it supposes either Yashiro or Doumeki is acting out of malicious intent, wanting to hurt the other, when that's clearly not the case for either of them, and I think a lot of the defensiveness we see in this fandom comes from either the outright insinuation made by some of malicious intent (I think you see this most with people criticizing Yashiro, accusing him of purposefully wanting to cause Doumeki harm from 4 years previous, when that couldn't be further from the truth), and then from others assuming that's what's meant by anyone who criticizes or questions either Yashiro's or Doumeki's actions.
I get particularly defensive about Yashiro because I feel like there's an awful trend in this fandom of dismissing his trauma and simply trying to put his treatment and initial rejection of Doumeki down to malice. I hate this, because it fundamentally misses the entire core of who Yashiro's character is, and ignores the fact that he pushed Doumeki away as much to protect him as to protect himself, both of which were legitimate reasons. Yashiro is the opposite of a malicious person. He's actually the most selfless and kind character in all of Saezuru, he just does a really good job of hiding it beneath a mask of apathy and indifference. But actions always speak louder than words.
On the other side of the spectrum, we have Doumeki, and any attempts to question or criticize Doumeki's actions with Yashiro is often interpreted as one making accusations of deliberate cruelty or unkindness on Doumeki's part toward Yashiro, rather than as just a questioning of the effectiveness of Doumeki's actions, or what exactly the goal is behind those actions. I think it's clear to anyone who's read this story that Doumeki isn't and never has wanted to hurt Yashiro. He obviously has a deep desire to protect him and shield him from further harm. At the same time, Doumeki definitely has a possessive streak when it comes to Yashiro specifically, and his desire to almost force Yashiro to accept him as his only love interest or sexual partner is, I think, part of what the issue between them is. He can't let go of his fear of Yashiro running away, in part, because he can't let go of his desire to stake his claim on Yashiro as only his.
Obviously, Yashiro's own issues with accepting love and seeing himself as worthy of love are also a major contributing factor to their current predicament, because he's unable to see Doumeki's perceived indifference toward him as anything other than proof of his own unlovability.
It also doesn't help that we haven't gotten a chapter from Doumeki's perspective in a long time, and it seems like we may never get another chapter from his perspective if Yoneda actually sticks to her previous statement regarding that. Right now, all anyone can do is speculate as to Doumeki's actual intentions with continuing on in his charade. Is he doing it to protect himself and his own feelings? Is he doing it because he wants to keep Yashiro from running away? The latter seems more likely to me because we seemed to get Doumeki's internal thoughts, specifically regarding this, last chapter, when who I assume was Doumeki said he was hiding his true feelings to keep (this person, i,.e. Yashiro) from running away again.
Part of my issue with Doumeki's current tactic is that it only serves to reinforce this idea in Yashiro's head that he's unlovable. I see plenty of people saying that until Yashiro can learn to love himself, or forgive himself, then he won't be able to accept Doumeki's love, and therefore, it doesn't matter if Doumeki drops the act and tells Yashiro right now that he loves him, because Yashiro isn't "ready" to accept that love.
But what exactly is the alternative?
How exactly is Yashiro meant to "learn to love" himself or "forgive" himself, when every time he sees Doumeki now, he's again and again faced with the affirmation of his own, negative beliefs about himself through Doumeki's seeming indifference toward him?
Again, I'm not blaming Doumeki. From his perspective, he probably feels he has no other choice but to act this way and treat Yashiro coldly, because he thinks if he treats Yashiro gently, Yashiro will just react in the same, traumatized manner he did last time they had gentle sex (and again, this is my issue with people blaming Yashiro and acting as if this whole situation is his fault for rejecting Doumeki to begin with. As if Yashiro chose to be traumatized). Doumeki has no way of knowing that Yashiro now wants to be treated kindly, or that Yashiro will be able to receive that kind of love now (which also isn't a guarantee). The only real clue Doumeki might have had toward that end was him finding out about Yashiro's impotence with anyone outside of himself. And maybe that's his goal, in behaving the way he is. Maybe he's hoping to force Yashiro into some sort of self-realization, or force him into treating himself better, and in doing so, force Yashiro to admit to Doumeki what he really wants.
That's been the speculation for a long, long time now.
But... the problem is, it's just not working.
We see Yashiro spiraling into a deeper and deeper despair with each, passing chapter. Like I said, it's fine to say that Yashiro needs to learn to love himself before he can receive or give love (a sentiment I don't even agree with, but that's another point for another day), but I can't see how Doumeki's current treatment of Yashiro is going to lead to him learning to love himself at all. All I see it doing right now is reinforcing all of Yashiro's worst, most negative beliefs about himself, and making the situation between him and Doumeki ever more confused and dangerous.
Again, this isn't me blaming Doumeki (I swear to god, some Doumeki fans are way too sensitive). This is just me pointing out the obviousness of Yashiro's depressed state of mind, and the apparent lack of success in Doumeki's methods to change it for the better (if indeed that's even what Doumeki is attempting to do). Again, we just don't know what Doumeki's actual intentions are. All we can see right now is the results of his actions. And to me, those results don't look good.
Maybe I'm wrong and Yashiro will become so disgusted with Doumeki's treatment of him that he'll snap and demand that Doumeki stop treating him like some sort of casual lay that he has no feelings for. But right now, I don't see Doumeki's treatment of Yashiro engendering any sorts of feelings of self-worth or a desire in Yashiro to stand up for himself.
He's spent almost 40 years of his life being abused and mistreated by others. I have a hard time envisioning him suddenly developing enough self-esteem to finally say "enough is enough" to the man he's tragically in love with.
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hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.
that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.
i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.
let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.
chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.
another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?
while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.
and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.
idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me
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sandwitchstories · 2 days
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I am struggling to focus at work today. Sooooo instead of doing stats, I wrote a little blurb that will definitely become an actual story.
Have some Sukuna brain rot! (Fyi in my mind he looks older and is going to become a totally separate body from Yuji. You'll just have to wait and see!)
Drop a comment if you want to be tagged when the first chapter comes out!!
Summary: reader is a jujutsu sorcerer but Sukuna has taken an interest in her
Read below the cut! Only implied smut at this point.
Cw: mentions of sex, dream talking, dreams reader will vividly remember
Wc: 536
Invading that womans dreams may have been the stupidest thing Sukuna had ever done. Tasting her flesh and burying his cock in her in that dream had only made him even hungrier for her; it had not sated his craving even a little. He didn't know what it was about that defiant little shit but he craved her presence and her body… not to have Uraume cook up.
He needed his own body. He wanted to fuck her with his own cock, not this losers who he was stuck in. Some trembling virgin. He wanted to please her like he had in her dreams. She had willingly given herself to him in her dreams for a week now and he was absolutely addicted.
It had started out as curiosity. She was highly intelligent had quickly picked up that while they were in a dream, they were actually talking and both of them would remember everything upon waking.
She had a vivid imagination. She had smiled at him and asked him if he wanted to visit her favorite place. He had figured why the hell not.
He has not expected her to conjure up a small lake with a waterfall. Surrounded by wisteria and weeping willows. It was gorgeous, he had to admit it. He could even feel the rays of sunshine on his face.
She had beckoned him to sit beside her and talk. She said that in the real world everyone was so filled with hatred and anger at him that it made it impossible to actually speak to him unguarded but maybe here they could.
He asked her why she would even want to speak to him with his past. She shrugged and said everyone has a past but can work towards a future atoning for their sins. He laughed and told her he had no interest in atoning for his sins, they would attempt to kill him no matter what. She had shrugged and said that was his prerogative.
She asked why he was there. He answered honestly that he wasn't sure. He just… wanted to talk to her.
She had shrugged again and leaned back on her palms, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankles.
She looked at him with those big green eyes and asked him what his favorite type of music was, did he have a favorite movie, did he eat things besides humans, what did humans even taste like, had he ever had a pet… just the stupidest, most mundane questions he had ever been asked yet… it felt oddly good to have someone talk to him like this.
When she woke he left a thought in her mind that he would see her again. It was not a threat. It was a promise.
He had already decided he was not going to threaten her or kill her. He would make sure she was safe until he figured out just what the hell this was and why he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
Would she be is salvation or his damnation? Only time would tell. But he was looking forward to unraveling the mystery that was her.
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kinardscoffee · 22 hours
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This is a long rant. My apologies in advance 😅
I do wonder about that, "Eddie was SUPPOSED to be queer; Tommy was FOR Eddie" (and Maddie and Eddie were SUPPOSED to be a thing 👀 but apparently that isn't the same 🫢 gotcha) and I genuinely question whether that would've made a difference of hate??? Cus there's no effing way THEY would've magically liked~ or been okay with Tommy/Lou if that was the case... right? Like that doesn't make any sense! Whether it WAS Eddie ending up with Tommy from the jump, they would still be complaining because it wasn't Eddie and Buck kissing/realization for each other! But yet they're still over here trying to use the idea - that yes, Ryan turned down, as canon when they clearly despise any love interest the guys have...
They wanted Lou and Ryan not Ryan and Oliver. Do THEY not understand? They tried made "Queer Eddie✨️" happen, and yet 1 of the 2 "Captains of the ship" rejected the idea, because Ryan wanted to continue exporing Eddie's never ending struggles of single dad life and heterosexuality (but Buck's the one on a hamster wheel 🫡 ok) lol but that doesn't mean anything. "If it happens sure totally all for it... 🤥" He had the opportunity to make it happen, but "it just didn't end up working out." girl bye 😂 Your costar, who I might add repeatedly tried to get representation for years, had no issues saying yes when given the chance and also stated he had no problem risking and disregarding the networks prior rejections if he wasn't going to be canonically queer this season because he wasn't lying when he said he cared.
But yes, the rejected thought of queer Eddie somehow does means Buddie was definitely going to happen... but did they think Tommy "who had more chemistry with Eddie than Buck 😤" was supposed to be a one and done deal? Or that the writers weren't also going to try to do the same as the BT storyline and explore and expand their queer relationship of acceptance but unlike Buck who's been canonically hinting at his attraction to men and him having slight difficulties even though he thought is was typical without knowing what that meant and him out and open within an episode... they thought Mr. Religiously repressed/commitment phobe/Still hung up on his dead WIFE/"internalized homophobia..." was gonna have an "easier" time accepting that homosexuality and wanting to be romantically involved with his best friend in 6-7 episodes???
And where was that leaving Buck's storyline and his then discovery, if the focus was supposed to be on Eddie/Tommy??? Was that really supposed to be the segue for him coming out, even though Oliver said he didn't want that to happen, "my best friend's queer! That miraculously awoken something" ??? C'mon I know THEY "believe" out of context scenes and interviews and with their imagination that headcanon jealousy and platonic friendships and someone trying to master a life skill he specifically starting learning so he could get approval and praise from his father figure who's teaching him *cough* some way conveys homosexuality 😂 but be for real! There isn't any correlation of ONE liking and being attracted to TOMMY, and that somehow meaning BOTH of them are attractive to each other! That just means they're still attracted to TOMMY!
It's all good, Anon, rant away!
But I do think that if Eddie had been the one to come out and be with Tommy, the Bobs wouldn't be as nasty as they are rn.
The ones that are chewing at the bars of their enclosures are hard-core Eddie defenders... they listen to t swift and sob while they desperately pick at the lock of Eddie's closet.
They ignore things that don't fit the Book of Buddie and attack anything and everything that stomps on their millions of "theories."
Cause the real issue is that they believe Shannon to be Eddie's beard, yet he's been hung up on her for these past 6 years. And Ryan confirmed that he will STILL be hung up in S8.
So, if Eddie had come out in S7 as queer instead of Buck, they would have been on cloud 9 because we all know that Buck has been queer coded from the beginning, and Eddie is a much harder sell.
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smolwritingchick · 2 days
Text
The Bangtan Gal Chapter 94- MAMA Awards 2016 Part 1
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Summary: BTS win their first Daesang! Tensions run high when Jen's friendship with Hyuna ends abruptly due to sneak dissing and a scrapped performance. BTS attends the Mama Awards making iconic moments that leave the world shooked.
Words: 13,000+
Genre: Big Jungkook Fluff. A little chaos never hurt anybody :)
Click here for PART 2 of this chapter
Author's note: OK the 3rd Muster chapter isn't done yet, I'll post that next since this was done. The 3rd Muster chapter is basically a filler chapter anyway. So once I come back from taking a smol break I will start writing that and then the following story chapter. This was done and I didn't want to keep it waiting. Kind of been anxious to release it. 
As I addressed during the Bon Voyage season 1 chapter, this should be the last time I write about Hyuna. This idea came up recently and I rolled with it. My ideas changed a bit but I wanted this to just be chaotic af. I wanted to think outside the box and I like what I came up with. Again this smol girl ain't that much of a lyric writer but A for effort. Decided to combine the chapters and make it into the Mama Awards chapter.
I would like Jennie to always have a cool stage for the MAMA Awards. And have fun moments. It's only 2016 in the story and Jennie still has a lot of growing to do but I think this moment I have planned for this chapter is an interesting start to how she speaks up for herself. We got 2017, 18, 19, and the rest of the years for even more character development, wins and failures along the way for her.
Hope you enjoy it! I'd say Beyonce's 7/11 is the inspiration for her stage at MAMA. I love the song so much and the instrumental. Especially the Coachella version. Always a banger. I also loveeee Beyonce's laugh at the end of the Coachella version. So I had to add it for Jennie. It might just be her signature. 
Whenever there are scenes with BlackPink and BTS' Jennie (My character), I'm going to keep BlackPink's Jennie as Jennie during the dialogue while BTS' Jennie will just be called Jen. Hope that won't be too confusing.
Throwback to this funny video when they won at MMA 2016. I remember this video like it was yesterday. Timeless. As I continue to write, I get a little emotional. It was so fun seeing all this in real time.
Again this chapter is split into two parts because I couldn't fit all of it in one post. So this is part one.
Have an awesome day! Super excited for Jin to return from enlistment! Not much longer now!
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'BREAKING! MAMA 2016 Collaboration with Cube's Hyuna and Big Hit's Jennie scrapped!'
Jennie frowned at the article as she sat by her desk in the Smartie Factory. It was crazy how things abruptly changed. Lately, Jennie and Hyuna weren't on speaking terms and issues have been occurring for a while.
It all started with the sneak dissing that Jennie had found out on her Tumblr. She loved scrolling through the tag of her name and came across a fairly popular post regarding Hyuna attending a few variety shows and interviews.
"Unlike the others, I don't need to repeatedly say I'm the best from head to toe. You already see it," made ARMY think about Jennie's War of Hormone lyrics.
"Some rookies can be a bit much. Some like to try to overshine a veteran,"
"Some girls in this industry are a bit too fragile. I don't need to call myself bulletproof,"
"You mean the original version of How's This,"
These were just a handful of statements said by Hyuna and ARMY immediately speculated she was throwing shade at Jennie.
'Uhhhh did Hyuna just sneak diss, Jennie? Am I freaking out over nothing? That bulletproof and glass line was SUS,' one comment said.
ARMY went on to do more research and they immediately figured out that there was some sort of animosity in Hyuna's words and it caused confusion in the fandom.
"The hell...?" Miss Bangtan murmured as she read about it and even saw her and Hyuna trending on Twitter.
Her stomach dropped and she felt hurt by the words. It confused her as to why she would say these things. Deciding to go straight to the source, she messaged Hyuna on KakaoTalk.
Jen: Ummmm what's going on sis? We got a problem or something? If so let's address it now. Call me when you're free
But hours later, still no reply. What officially solidified the fact that there was an issue was when Jennie facetimed Hayoon about it.
"I'm trying to contact her so we can settle this shit now instead of over the internet. But I haven't gotten a response. I don't know how this happened. I didn't even do anything. I know we haven't talked in a while, but damn,"
And that was when Hayoon informed her what was going on from what she heard. She and other people have been overhearing her talking about how upset she was that she would be sharing the stage with Jennie for How's This. She wanted to perform it alone and on top of that felt bothered by the fact that the duet music video with Jennie started to get way more views than the original video.
"I mean it got more views because ARMY loves to support every member of Bangtan. They were bound to have the views boost," Jennie exclaimed on Facetime while Hayoon nodded. "That's one of the amazing things about them. They watched that video for me and I'm grateful but damn, is it that deep? So, she doesn't want to share the stage with me and is feeling some type of the way that her original music video didn't have that many views? Ma'am, if that was a problem, instead of throwing shots, why not talk to me face to face and express yourself? All this childishness for what?"
"I know. It's ridiculous," Hayoon said with a frown. "I had to distance myself from her. I didn't like the things she was saying. And I even talked to her about it but she blew me off and said she didn't care,"
Jennie sighed and shook her head. "Annoying...thanks for telling me...wow...the switch up is crazy...I just don't understand,"
"Of course. Still no reply?"
Jennie went to check back on the app and scoffed. "Did this bitch block me?!"
"What?! No way!"
"Wowwww. So, it's like that? Okay. I can't even contact her anymore...this is making me start to have trust issues a little bit. Like we were so close. We would hang out and talk often...I trusted her with a lot of shit, too. I hope she doesn't spill anything personal. Because now I'm thinking about my relationship,"
"As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think she'll spill anything especially when she is dating E'Dawn privately,"
"Yeah...I'm not going to air her dirty laundry and talk about how she got a rookie boyfriend and shit. That's unfair to E'dawn and his future career as an idol,"
"Agreed. No need to get him involved. I believe she won't involve Jungkook as well, so no need to worry,"
Jennie sighed. "When I see her at one of these award shows I'll confront her. This is ridiculous,"
"Some kind of girl's girl she is. So close to award season, too? She should not be trying to paint you as this bad person,"
"Yeah...I just don't know how long it's going to take for the public to understand how grimy she is,"
As the news of her performance with Hyuna wasn't happening anymore, Cube Entertainment and even Mnet made the excuse that they felt like Jennie was not ready to perform with Hyuna and was a bit difficult to work with. Which was a load of bull and lots of fans saw through the BS. However, Big Hit responded in defense of her saying that she was ready, was very easy to work with and it was their loss on the collaboration.
It warmed her heart to see the company come to her defense and say she would prove doubters wrong on BTS' stage at the MAMA Awards. Hearing the news that the collaboration was scrapped made her feel down since she had been so excited to perform with someone she looked up to for many years. G-Dragon's words still rang through her mind that not everyone is your friend in the industry and the switch ups are crazy.
Now back to reality, Jennie continued to sit by her desk, deep in thought about the situation. All she wanted to do was speak to her like an adult and squash whatever issue she had with her. But with her being blocked, it was clear she wanted nothing to do with Jennie.
It had been days since the first set of disses along with lyric changes to throw shots at her and the lack of response from Jennie had everyone talking.
People commented:
'Unbothered. I like that,'
'Hyuna cooked you!'
'Everything she said about Jennie was true,'
'Rookie! Hyuna is better than you!'
'So, are you going to respond to HyunA?'
'Damn, still no response?'
'Jennie is known for her impressive stage presence at MAMA. They could have been a powerful duo if egos didn't get in the way. Something ain't right,'
'LOL Hyuna won by default. She is taking forever to respond. Is she scared?'
'Get in the booth, Jennie. Or are you taking the L?'
'So, you just gonna let her talk shit about you like that?'
'Jennie doesn't have to respond to anything.'
'I hate how you guys are instigating this drama.'
'No response is a response, Jennie!'
'Does Miss Bangtan need her bulletproof boy scouts to help her with this one?'
'I bet Jennie is the problem. Because she and Hyuna were great friends. She must have done something wrong...'
'Time to stop hiding behind your boys, woman up and respond to your senior.'
'Respect queen Hyuna!'
'You should be lucky she even asked you to collaborate.'
'ARMY gets on my nerves. They like to spam and stream everything for bragging rights. That music video didn't deserve to get higher views than the OG!'
'Yikes...going after one of the chillest people in the K-Pop industry is not wise because if Jennie responds I bet not hear shit that she was disrespectful when Hyuna started this first. And don't try to say respect your seniors.'
'Y'all are a little too comfortable being rude to Jennie on her page...'
'Hyuna started it and Jen will finish it. Watch!'
'Hyuna is being a bit too bold running her mouth.'
'Of all people when you have Bangtan backing her? And other idols who are close friends with her? I don't understand the logic.'
'Hyuna is untouchable in the industry, no idols will come to her aid,'
'I doubt any idol will defend Jennie from Hyuna. She should handle this herself.'
'Bangtan shouldn't always have to fight her battles. She should handle this by herself,'
'Jennie handles business. She'll respond,'
Still, on social media, she saw herself getting tagged in a lot of Hyuna stuff. Come to find out she was still sneak dissing and her stans were eating it up and defending her. However, ARMY was not too happy about the abrupt attitude change and shade thrown at Miss Bangtan.
"Do you want me to say something?" Yoongi asked, who sat next to her, ready to defend her honor.
"Yoongi...no," she firmly said as she turned to him.
"The situation is so grimy. Like damn, the bitch can't share the stage with you on her song that she wanted you to be on in the first place? Why bother asking to collab?" Angelina spoke up, sitting on the couch with Namjoon. "Did she think it wasn't going to go well? She underestimated the power of ARMY's support and your talent as an artist. Those comments on that YouTube video were mainly about you, Jennie. You outshined her in the music video and she was mad about it and has been holding it in for a while. The bitch is jealous,"
"I'm just confused and thrown off by everything. Like I thought we were friends—"
"Well, she's not your friend," Angelina firmly cut Jennie off, getting upset about Hyuna. "A friend doesn't sneak diss. Fuck her,"
"Are you going to let her just bash your name like this in public?" Namjoon asked.
"She is South Korea's IT girl. Everyone loves her. And if I respond...I have a feeling I'll be public enemy number one. You know how the media is gonna twist this and make me the bad guy," Jennie reminded.
"Jen, I love your calmness. You know I'll be ready to fight somebody if someone did that to me. Diss tracks would already be on standby to release," Angelina added. "I wish I had your calmness, right now, as we speak. But stop being nice,"
"I'm not trying to be! I'm not! I'm not being nice, I'm trying to wrap my head around being blindsided! I'm getting annoyed, now..." she sighed out of frustration.
"Good. Write about it,"
"Listen, I shouldn't cause Bangtan any drama. Award season is coming up...I can't be taking the attention off of us at the award shows. I don't even want to be involved in this drama...why can't I just have some genuine celebrity friends, that won't get mad over petty shit, like this? I'm getting PTSD from Hailey and that took a while to heal from,"
"Munchkin, you're not causing drama for us," Hobi spoke up with his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, next to the couch. "I know you're thinking of the negatives but the positives outweigh it. You should respond,"
"And you know that people love you, too. She is not the only beloved K-Pop idol, in the world," Yoongi affirmed. "You've been making a positive name for yourself with us as BTS. ARMY and us will not stand for the slander. I want you to write about it all,"
"Turn this negative into a positive," Namjoon reminded.
"Diss track incoming?" Angelina smiled.
Jennie let the rappers' words sink in as she glanced at all of them. They had a point. She couldn't just let her bash her name like this out of nowhere. On top of that, she didn't want to hear anything about being respectful to her seniors when she was getting disrespected unprovoked. It bothered her when people think they can talk to younger people in any type of way. Respect should be a mutual thing.
"For now, don't bother engaging in the drama on social media. Don't respond to any of it online. Continue to go about your day like normal," Namjoon suggested.
"Yeah...okay. You're right. All of you," Jen replied. "I can't let her just get away with talking shit and not saying it directly to my face. Especially when she didn't even want to respond to my messages and blocked me. She needs to get checked,"
"Good. I'm looking forward to this," Hobi smiled.
"You and I both," Yoongi revealed his gummy smile.
Jennie chuckled and turned to Namjoon. "This reminds me a little bit of the Bobby situation and your diss at MAMA 2014. But yours was more of entertainment. Unlike this,"
The leader chuckled at that and nodded. "Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, now?"
"Handle it," she firmly responded and grabbed her notebook.
"Best news I've heard all day. Get writing," Angelina broke out into a big smile, as the others agreed.
"Mama Awards 2016. Speak your truth, there. Let's talk to the staff later about everything," Namjoon recommended.
"Okay," Jennie nodded, liking that idea. "I'll show you what I have when I'm done. Can I be alone, please? To work?"
The boys respected her decision and left her to work while Angelina stayed behind with Namjoon waiting for her outside the studio.
"Word of advice? Try the 8 Mile method. The stealing thunder strategy. You remember the movie and the final rap battle with Eminem?" Angelina asked as she got off the couch.
"Yeah. I've watched it a few times. That's not a bad idea. I'll work on it,"
"Good. Happy writing. Just make sure you eat, okay? Don't be stuck here, all day. I'll be with the others,"
"Don't worry, I'll take breaks. See you,"
After Angelina left, Jennie got started with writing. She also began going through her vault of music files she created over the years to pick which one to perform her rap with.
Rapping…kind of scary to think that this is what it would come to. Yoongi had been an amazing mentor. If Hobi could learn how to rap when he had no background in it, she could too. The amount of faith the rap line had in her to encourage her to respond to Hyuna in this way was a big deal. It was a deal that she could not mess up.
As she proceeded to work, her dog Tony slept quietly on the dog bed in the corner, tired out from playing around with the members a few hours earlier. Jennie occasionally glanced at the adorable dog with a smile while she worked. Miss Bangtan worked for hours, doing research, writing, and analyzing Hyuna's recent interviews regarding her. So engrossed in her work, she jumped slightly when she heard a series of knocks at her door.
"Who?" she asked out loud.
"Your Golden Boyfriend. Jeon Cena!"
"Enter my realm, my love," she smiled and turned her seat around to see him walking in with a few bags of food. "Hey!"
"Hi. I figured you were hungry so I bought food for us," he set the bags on the desk and grabbed a seat to sit next to her.
"It smells so good, thanks," she kissed him sweetly.
Getting a good look at her, he noticed she was wearing one of his hoodies which made him smile. The way it was oversized on her made her look even more cute.
"Any time. And your package of Smarties came. I grabbed a few bags so I can fill up your bowl,"
"You are the best!" she squealed happily and kissed him again before planting multiple kisses all over his cheek, making him giggle.
After he filled up the bowl, he gently grabbed her hand to stop her from reaching out to grab a few pieces.
"Ah-ah! What are you doing?" he called out.
"Helping myself to my smarties?"
"Nah. Food first. Let's eat,"
"What? Oh, come on. Babe, don't do that,"
"Food first. Smarties after," he released her hand.
"They're small, they're not going to spoil my stomach,"
"Food, honey," he grinned, opening the platter of chicken for them to eat. "Take a break,"
"Fine. I should take a break, anyway," she stretched and closed her notebook, placing it to the side. "Game of Thrones?"
"Yeah, we stopped at Season 5, right?"
"Hm hm. The first episode," she set everything up on one of her monitors.
"Hyung told us what you're working on. I'm glad you're going to go through with it. It's not fair,"
She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah…I just wished she talked to me,"
"She'll realize the mistake she made when you respond. I'm looking forward to seeing what you say. You always have a way of showing off your craft during the MAMA Awards. ARMY will be in for a treat,"
"Thanks. I hope to do it justice. I've been thinking about a lot…especially with the new year coming up. I think my New Year's Resolution for 2017 is to…be more cautious of who I trust and who I open up to. To see my childhood friends again when we go on tour and write songs in a more positive light. I think that'll be a pretty good start,"
He leaned over to kiss the side of her head. "I like that. That is a good start,"
---------
The day of the Melon Music Awards was finally here and backstage was lively as everyone went through rehearsals. Jen was excited to see familiar faces again as she strolled backstage. She let out a deep breath when she finally saw Hyuna who had finished talking with a staff member. Jen had been seeing her all day but whenever she'd get close, Hyuna would rush off.
Not anymore.
As Jen approached her, she knew people were watching her every move, wondering what might happen. Keeping her head up high, she finally came face to face with her.
"You got something to say to me?" Jen questioned as she looked at her with a frown.
Hyuna looked a little surprised and took a step back.
"Nothing at all," she replied with a fake smile.
"Are we going to talk like adults or are you gonna run, again? Where's that energy when you were taking shots at me on that variety show?" she asked and tilted her head to the side when she didn't reply. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, that's cool. I don't care. But I don't appreciate you going out of your way to talk shit about me and lying on my name. Blocking me so we can't speak on the phone? That is mad corny,"
"Jennie, you're causing a scene," she brought up as noticeably more people were being nosy and watching the confrontation.
"I do not care, stop trying to change the subject. What is with you throwing shade like ARMY and I wouldn't notice? Even talking about how difficult I am to work with? The fuck? Do we have a problem?"
"Do we?"
It took all the strength Jen had to not pop her in the head right then and there with the way she sarcastically responded. Hyuna was playing games and it was getting harder for Jen not to put her hands on her. MAMA Awards couldn't come fast enough.
"Keep my name out of your mouth. I'm not telling you again. Are we clear?" Jen demanded with a glare.
"Crystal."
After walking away and calming down, Jen informed the members about the nonsense. It annoyed them with the way Hyuna responded and highly anticipated Jen's performance at the MAMA Awards to set her straight. It was going to be worth the wait.
As the show was about to start, Jen went to the women's bathroom and as she came out to wash her hands, she saw BlackPink primping in the mirror and talking amongst themselves about how excited they were for the show.
Jennie gasped in happiness and turned around with a bright smile. "Hi! Oh my gosh, we've been looking for you!"
The sudden burst of excitement surprised Jen as she stood by the four girls who were happily smiling after she dried her hands. Once it officially registered that she was in front of BlackPink, Jen grinned widely.
"Hey! You're BlackPink! Wow! Hi! Oh my gosh, wow, y'all look so beautiful!"
"So do you!" Jisoo beamed as they all bowed.
"Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Walker," Jen introduced herself.
"Nice name. Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Kim," Jennie giggled with her and held her hands.
"Thank you. Nice name!"
"Thanks! It's nice to catch you before the show. It's really nice to meet you,"
"It's nice to meet you, girls, too!"
"Hi~! I'm Rosé!"
"I'm Lisa!"
"And I'm Jisoo!"
After releasing Jennie's hands, Jen spoke, "You girls are amazing! It's great watching you ladies thrive. I love your songs and I can't wait to see you perform, tonight,"
"Thank you! We've seen your dance videos of our songs. You perform it so well. Maybe you should be the fifth member," Jisoo giggled.
"I'd love to but Bangtan would be upset," she teased, as the girls laughed.
They were all so sweet. Their friendly energy matched so well with Jen's as they all vibed and immersed themselves in bathroom girl talk. As Jen had her eyes on Jisoo, she pointed out that her beauty was on a whole new level. Photos and videos didn't do her justice.
"Can we hug? Are you ladies ok with that? I'm like such a hugger these days but I like to ask before touching," Jen asked kindly.
"Of course!" Lisa beamed and went right in to embrace her with the rest of the girls.
"Are you ladies excited for tonight?" Jen asked.
"Nervous! But very excited. It should be a fun show. The dress rehearsal went well," Rosé replied.
"You ladies are gonna kill it. Have fun with it! Go out there and show them that BlackPink ain't playing around,"
Jen's encouragement seemed to have pumped them up as they smiled brightly and thanked her.
"You're close with Bam Bam, right? He's one of my good friends," Lisa spoke up.
"Yeah! I love him! He's the best and one of the funniest guys ever. He's a piece of work, huh?" Jen chuckled.
"He is! I hope we can all hang out sometime,"
"Yeah, I'd love that. We have a 97 Liner group chat we can add you and Rosé in! We're trying to see when we can have another get together. Even if it's just a handful of us. I have the WINGS tour coming up so it'll probably be a long while until Jungkook and I can participate in any hangouts. But we'll be there in spirit if the group plans something in our absence,"
"Being in the group chat sounds like fun. It'll be nice to get to know the others who were born in the same year. You'll introduce us?" Rosé asked.
"Yeah! I got you! You have to meet Hayoon. She is one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. So down to earth. She can be a little shy but give her some time and she'll open up to you. When you see her show off her real personality she gets very intense when playing games. Especially card games,"
Lisa and Rosé giggled at that.
"G-Dragon speaks highly of you. I always see him at YG and when we catch up he always brings you up," Jennie added.
"He talks about me to you?" Jen's eyes lit up.
Jen remembered that Jennie worked with G-Dragon before, being in one of his music videos. And Rosé even worked with him, on a song. It made her heart soar that he spoke highly of her. She hoped that one day she could collaborate with him as well. They brought it up a few times but she wanted to continue to improve her craft as an artist before working with him on music. She wanted to be at her best to sing with someone as legendary as him.
"Yeah! He told us he took you under his wing. I remember him saying how determined you looked when you approached him at K-Con. He admired your drive to take action. The way you did not hesitate to ask for advice on how to be a better performer. He also told us you are someone he trusts and that you are authentic," Rosé added.
"Wow...I am honored, my gosh," Jen let out a breath and placed her hands over her heart.
"Can I just say I love the move that you do with Jungkook during Blood, Sweat and Tears!? That flip and spin? It's so good!" Lisa said excitedly. "I want to try to do it during a dance practice but your chemistry with him is something that cannot be duplicated. I've studied dance covers of your little duet and it's clear that the move was meant for you two. I admire your passion when dancing,"
"Aw really? Thank you! I admire your passion for dancing, too! You be killing it on stage! You move with such grace and power, I get blown away every time, girl. I need to learn a thing or two from you,"
"We should practice together, sometime!"
"I'd be down!"
Their conversation was cut short when they heard an announcement that the show was about to begin.
"Before we go to our seats, can we take a selfie?" Jisoo suggested.
"Yeah! Let's do it!" Jen cheered.
Jisoo took out her phone and held the camera up high while the girls crowded around Jen. With all of their face cards on point, the selfie turned out beautifully as they posed with peace signs, kissy faces, and bright smiles.
"Oh, we cute, cute! Send this to me!" Miss Bangtan requested.
After exchanging numbers with the girls, the five of them went to their seats with fansites filming and noticing them together. Seeing the sight made ArmyBlinks excited that they finally met and hoped they take pictures.
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As the show began, Jennie sat with Bangtan as the camera occasionally caught her exciting reactions which would make Armies cheer. Jennie happily cheered and lip synced Blackpink's lyrics with fans noticing how Rosé biased she was.
When it was time for Bangtan to perform BST, audience members and idols anticipated JenKook's signature move but they didn't perform it this time and did different choreography. The disappointment was evident on some idols' faces as they whispered amongst themselves about them not doing their move as well as fans.
"No~! I wanted to see the spin," Lisa whined. "Why didn't they do the spin?"
"I know! I wonder why they decided to change the choreography," Jisoo pouted.
"Damn, no spin?" Zico wondered.
"Darn, they didn't do it? What changed?" Kai wondered with EXO.
Fans tweet:
'Are you fucking serious!? Jennie and Jungkook wtf!? I am PISSED!'
'JenKook y'all had ONE JOB!! ONE!! We wanted the spin!'
'I know these damn babies did not skip their highly anticipated dance move of BST,'
'I stayed up all night only for them not to do the spin!? Big Hit, I'm about to sue! Count your MF days!'
'Who scrapped the spin!? I wanna fight! #BringBackTheSpin'
'LISTEN!! If it ain't broke don't fix it! Nothing and I mean NOTHING needed to be changed in JenKook's duet. Keep it like it is! It was perfect! #BringBackTheSpin'
Backstage after their performance, Jungkook laughed at the flooded tweets from Armies and other fans. They all were complaining about them not doing the dance move and it surprised him to see how much viewers enjoyed the unique move. The couple wanted to do something a little different for the Melon Music Awards but clearly, their decision did not sit well with everyone which amused them.
Jungkook tweeted for damage control, 'Ah...we didn't do the spin this time. Sorry ARMY. We will do it next time,'
Immediately fans replied:
'Y'all better! That move is generational!'
'What were y'all thinking switching it up!? We better get nothing but sexiness the next time y'all do it! I am so serious!'
'Bullying works guys!!'
'Y'all know better!'
'OH ARD! That's what I thought. You two better raise the bar next time!'
'GOOD! It better be sexy af the next time you two perform it! I need my JenKook crumbs!'
'I hope the next time they do the move they take it up a notch. Their chemistry has me glued to my screen!'
'THANK YOU!!'
As the show was drawing to a close, she sat in between Yoongi and Taehyung while they watched the presenters call the nominees for album of the year. In Jennie's mind, she assumed EXO was going to win it. EXO had been powerhouses for their albums and the big 3, JYP, SM, and YG always swept these big awards. However, it was an honor to even be nominated in the category for The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: Young Forever album.
She sat, relaxed, already ready to applaud EXO for winning the award as she waited for the presenter to say it.
"2016 Melon Music Award Best Album of the Year goes to...BTS!"
The sound of the group's name caused Bangtan to widen their eyes, looking at each other in utter disbelief.
Did they REALLY just call BTS the album of the year winners!? WHAT!?
Idols around them stood up, equally surprised that a group not from the big 3 won the award as they applauded them. GFriend cheered happily, bouncing up and down as Hayoon yelled cheerfully for Jennie. Namjoon immediately stood up, stunned by the announcement.
"Oh s—" Hobi shouted in shock.
Jennie sat in her seat dumbfounded as she looked around, glancing at the members who equally had the same shocked expression.
"What the f—" she stopped herself as she covered her mouth, trying to process the news that Bangtan had just won their first Daesang.
Daesang...they won a Daesang!
"We won? We won!?" she slowly stood up once the rest of the boys did.
Armies around the venue cheered and screamed as they waved their ARMY bombs in celebration.
"Ahhhh Jennie looks so surprised!" Hayoon giggled to her group before quickly rushing over to embrace her.
It started to become a tradition for these two to find each other to hug, high five, or do something whenever they won an award. Hayoon grabbed her hands and jumped up and down excitedly with her.
"BTS did it! BTS won! I'm so happy for you!" she beamed, pulling her in for another tight hug.
"Holy shit, what the hell is happening!? Is this real!?" Jennie exclaimed, hugging her tightly.
"Yes! Go up there!" she laughed and lightly pushed her forward after pulling away.
Jennie adjusted herself and began walking up to the stage with the rest of the group as they bowed to everyone. She walked with Hobi and Suga as a bright smile came across her beautiful face, feeling her heart pound. As they made it to the stage with Namjoon holding the award, she stood in between Jin and Hobi.
"ARMY! Thank you!" Namjoon shouted on the mic with a big smile as he tried to control his overwhelming emotions.
Seeing Jin start to cry made Jennie begin to rub his back to comfort him. She did her best not to cry herself as she soaked in this moment with the boys. Noticing Hobi looking like he was about to cry, she went to rub his back too, comforting him.
"We have received the best award since our debut here at the Melon Awards. Bang Sihyuk PD-nim, Big Hit Entertainment, parents and friends who have helped us, I want to thank them again and ARMYs, I love you! ARMY, I LOVE YOU!" Namjoon shouted with elation.
After he finished his speech, the members all went in for a big group hug. They all had big smiles on their faces, feeling euphoric from this victory. When they make it backstage, they are still stunned and thrilled that they won the award with a Bangtan Bomb camera filming them.
"Wow really...wow," Namjoon spoke, still processing everything.
"I was so surprised," Jungkook said on camera.
"We weren't anticipating it. We really weren't expecting it. We weren't even expecting it one bit,"
"Thank you so so much. We were so shocked,"
"We won! We won~! I still can't believe it!" Jennie squealed and shook the camera. "Thank you so much!"
Noticing Hobi's tears running down his cheeks with the foundation running down too, Jennie embraced him tightly while the camera filmed them.
"I know...I know..." she murmured. "I'm so proud of us,"
"Army, thank you so much!" Jin said on camera with his tear stained face while Jennie released Hobi. "Thank you, Army! Thank you, Army!"
"Bring it in," she outstretched her arms for Jin and he immediately kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly.
"She gives the best hugs," he told the camera.
After they returned to their seats, Jennie sat in between Hobi and Jin to continue to watch the show while pulling themselves together. As EXO closed the show, she watched their performance in admiration.
"I wonder what it would be like to close an award show," Jennie wondered out loud with a smile.
Jin listened and began to speak as she looked up at him. "I believe that one day we will get the opportunity. If we can get this Daesang then this is just a step forward in achieving more as a group,"
"Yeah. We will, for sure,"
After the show, they took photos with the trophy and hugged the staff members as they continued to celebrate. Once Angelina found Jennie, she ran and jumped on her, making them both fall to the floor as they laughed.
"Ah~! I am so proud of you! BTS did it! BTS won album of the year!" she began giving Jennie multiple kisses all over her face as she continued to laugh.
After they got up, they embraced tightly, getting emotional.
"Wow, look at you! Thriving in BTS! That album deserved album of the year! It has bangers on top of bangers. This is your motherfuckin' moment, sis! Enjoy it!"
"Thank you! And thank you for being here to support us," Jen murmured against her shoulder.
"You know I'm always going to be there for you just like you are with me. You're stuck with me for life, sis. This win is only the beginning. Watch Bangtan soar to new heights after this! You better enjoy the damn ride, it's gonna be a fun one!"
After pulling away, Angelina wiped Jennie's tears.
"I'm not gonna lie, I thought EXO was gonna win it. When they said BTS I was like what!?" Jen continued to ramble as the camera person for the Bangtan bomb began to film the other members to get their thoughts.
Later on, Jennie sat down on a chair and took in some deep breaths to pull herself together while Jin and Jimin rubbed her back.
"I'm okay...I'm alright...wow...this feels like a dream. This feels like a freaking dream," she sighed.
She shook her head and started praying, thanking the Lord for this moment as emotions came over her again. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whispered to herself, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
After she was done praying, she looked up and smiled at the guys when they all went to comfort her. "We did it. We really did it. This is amazing. Wow...over the big frickin' 3!? Blessed! I am so proud of us! Thank you. All of you for making this experience so fun and rewarding,"
"Your family is on the line!" Angelina beamed and handed Jen her phone to reveal her parents and sisters on facetime.
It was wholesome hearing them scream and cheer for Bangtan. The boys even jumped in to say hello and thanked them for their support.
"Ok now that we got the celebrations out of the way, why in the hell didn't you and Jungkook do the spin!?" Jennie's mom complained causing Bangtan and Angelina to laugh.
"Yeah! We were looking forward to it!" Alani frowned.
"You guys need a redo! ASAP!" Vienna added.
"I admit I was looking forward to seeing it and felt my world crashing down when it didn't happen," Jennie's dad spoke up.
"You are so dramatic!" Jennie laughed. "Not you all mad we didn't do this spin, tonight,"
"We'll do it next time," Jungkook grinned. "We promise!"
"You two better. I'll be watching," Jennie's dad pointed at them.
--------------
Days later, Namjoon was in his studio doing a V-Live to catch up with ARMY. As the live went on with fun and engaging moments, he then started to talk about Jennie. A proud smile appeared on his face as he thought of her.
"Jennie is the best. She has been improving a lot behind the scenes and continues to keep a good head on her shoulders. When I first saw her, I was watching the audition for the Bangtan Girl for BTS. She stood out to me because of her outfit choice." He chuckled. "She looked like she was going to wreck someone. I had my head down, so I would listen closely to each person's lyrics created for bulletproof, while V was next to me. As soon as I heard her verse, I had to look up. I know she was probably a bit stressed getting hit with a bombshell of creating a verse for the song over a weekend and presenting it on a Monday but she made it work and she impressed me. When I met her, I thought she was very determined and cute. She's like a little sister to me. And I feel like a proud big brother watching her improve every day in her skills. Ah...I'm getting too personal, am I? Sorry,"
His eyes scanned the comments flowing in.
'Awwww keep going, it's okay! This is so cute!'
'NamJen forever! Best bond in Bangtan!'
'Awwwww he looks like a proud big brother!'
'Thank you for always taking care of Jennie!'
'My baby Jennie and the best leader Namjoon! Thank you for being there for her!'
'Thank you for being a great leader to her!'
"I just want to be the best leader for her. And I want to be that strength she needs to keep pushing forward. She has improved so much over the years. She was so timid when it came to filming music videos, but after filming videos like Dope, Fire, and Blood, Sweat & Tears, I've seen her confidence and charisma grow. I may not understand what it's like to move and work in another country like she did but she has really opened up and become more comfortable here. She's fully adjusting to South Korea. And I'm very proud of her. All of Bangtan is,"
As he continued his live, someone knocked on his door and he turned around. Announcing the person to come in, Jennie strolled in with a bright smile and a plate of cookies.
"Hey! Here, I just made them. I'm going around delivering cookies before working in my studio,"
"For me!? Really!? Oh, this is a great surprise. I'll help myself to these now," he thanked her and took the plate to place on his desk. "You need to open up a bakery,"
"I want to! I wouldn't mind going to culinary school or something. I'd love to make my own business and open up a bakery, one day. We'll see what the future holds. Oh, you on live? Hey, ARMY! I miss you, guys! How are ya?" She waved and read the comments.
'Jennie!!'
'Hi, mom!'
'She baked again!!'
'Jennie, I love you!'
'Do the spin with Jungkook!'
'Do the move with Kookie!'
'JenKook spin for MAMA!'
'JenKook move!'
'Why didn't you do the move at Melon!?'
'Ma'am we want answers about Melon! What happened to the spin!?'
"Yo...." she began to laugh out loud at the comments. "Not y'all roasting me again for not doing the spin. It's been a week! Is it that serious? Oh my gosh,"
Namjoon started to laugh at the comments too, amused that this has become such a big deal in the fandom. When he heard even idols were asking about the spin, it was clear that JenKook had a chokehold in the industry with their strong chemistry.
"ARMY has been a little upset about that," he brought up.
"A little? They spamming my Instagram, too. I didn't think it was going to cause this much of a fuss. You guys really like our signature move?"
Comments rushed in:
'DUH!'
'The way you two dance together are goals!'
'YES GIRL!'
'I can't with her lmfao.'
"Look forward to MAMA, okay? I gotta go but cheer us on at MAMA. Everything will be worth the wait. See ya!" she beamed and left.
----------
The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.
'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen' 
Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.
People tweeted:
'Uh oh!'
'Woke up and chose violence I see. Now I have to stay up and tune in. What time does the show start again EST time??'
'She broke her silence!'
'She's about to get her lick back!'
'Hyuna has not realized what she had done and is about to face the consequences,'
'Aw, shit...'
'She is about to piss people off and I'm going to love every second of it,'
'No matter what happens and no matter what you do, we will always love you, Jennie!'
'You about to respond!?'
'Hyuna is attending the show, too!! Uh oh....'
'Guys...I think something big is about to happen. Bigger than what we may think. Something is gonna go down tonight,'
'I'm so scared for tonight. Jennie, what are you about to do?'
Already in her short ruffled white dress, her hair was put up in a bun with hair on the side as she sat to get her makeup done. She also wore a small daisy pin for good luck thanks to G-Dragon gifting it to her on her birthday.
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"Jen, what can viewers anticipate from you, tonight?" J-Hope asked with a grin as he was getting filmed for their MAMA 2016 Bangtan Bomb.
Glancing up, she smiled. "Expect the unexpected,"
-----
As the members got out of the car for the Red Carpet, they were met with loud screams, photography, and cheers with the MCs announcing their arrival. Jimin held out his hand for Jennie to take and he aided her out of the car.
"Thanks, Chim," she smiled warmly.
It was awesome to see international fans travel to the MAMA Awards. She tried to wave and make eye contact with every fan she could. Peeping some of her fansites made her heart soar. The dedication they had for her did not go unnoticed. Miss Bangtan heard her name get shouted, making her turn to who it was as the fan giggled excitedly and waved. She waved back and grinned as the fan was happy to have caught the moment on their phone.
The group proceeded to walk and made it to where the MCs were, standing on the stage.
"It's BTS, who are taking the world by storm, that is entering, right now. They're a group with perfect performances and won an award for producing their own albums,"
No matter what, Jennie didn't think she'd get used to all the screaming and cheering. It was like each event they attended, the screams got louder and she came to realize Bangtan was really moving up. It was a beautiful thing.
As Jungkook walked closely behind her, he caught a whiff of her perfume. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, smiling softly, enjoying the scent.
"You smell nice," he murmured, opening his eyes.
She glanced back at him and smiled. "Thank you. Hayoon got me some new perfume for my birthday. I like it,"
"I like it, too. You should keep wearing it,"
"I will,"
She stood in between Jimin and Jungkook as the group did their greeting and struck a pose just for the fans.
"Today since we are here at MAMA, we personally would like to hear some good news," Namjoon said on the mic.
"We are just one month away from 2017. Can we ask what plans you have?" The MCs asked.
"We're planning a fanmeet in Japan," Jin answered. "And we're working hard on music production so please look forward to it,"
Just a short while away before the show began with idols heading to their seats, Hyuna made her way to the stage and sat in her seat which was front row. There was tension in the air as anticipation filled to what Jennie might do as a response. Everyone was interested to see how this was going to go and idols were living for the drama. Gossip went all around the idols as they had private discussions on what might happen and who might win this.
"Where is Miss Bangtan?" Chanyeol wondered as he looked around, seeing that she wasn't sitting with the rest of BTS.
"Probably still getting ready?" Sehun assumed.
"I just want to see what she has planned tonight. Hyuna is already seated," he pointed out.
With Jennie, being the social butterfly and eager to meet her favs, she had strolled backstage to find the three men she wanted to meet. First up was Timbaland. He had been invited to perform with Eric Nam and to receive an award. Timbaland had worked with so many artists and was one of the many inspirations to her. She still believed he, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake were one of the best trios ever in music. They mixed so well.
He was so chill in person and they took a few photos. He even looked pleased to see a black woman here as she thanked him for all his work. Perhaps one day she'll get a chance to work with him. She shared that she DJs and has been making songs for herself that are not quite ready to be released. He encouraged her to keep at it and gave her advice on making music which she took to heart, feeling grateful for his words. One day she will share her passions with ARMY. 
Meeting Wiz Khalifa was a fun experience, with them sharing a hug and him having a big grin on his face. She expressed her admiration for his song with Charlie Puth and that she couldn't wait to see him perform tonight.
Meeting THE Quincy Jones had her starstruck. One of the greatest music producers of all time was in front of her as they shook hands. Her face warmed when he called her gorgeous and it was sweet of him to take time to talk to her. He listened to her talk about making music and he gave her lots of words of wisdom on creating.
She could listen to Quincy talk all day. He had a way with words that made her feel like she could do anything her creative mind envisioned when producing. But what stuck out to her the most was when he told her some of the best advice he had gotten.
"Your music will never be more or less than you are a human being,"
And it stuck with her. Being an idol is exhausting at times but she loved the work and the way it paid off. She wanted to remain happy. She wanted to continue to thrive with Bangtan and enjoy life. She wanted to speak her truth. She had to be vulnerable tonight when she got on that stage for her solo. She truly needed to dig down deep tonight when responding to Hyuna.
After tonight, she wanted to remove all negative thoughts and move forward with everything. And to take a break from social media. A break from social media was needed. Breaks were good and she could always see it assisting her mentally.
After speaking to these men, she felt a fire light in her and felt even more musically inspired. She posted the photos on Twitter with the caption, 'An honor to meet these amazing & talented black men! Night has been made! Thank you for your kindness and words of wisdom! #Jen'
After going to the bathroom, Jennie made her way to the stage, earning loud cheers from fans when they saw her. She smiled and waved, heading over to where Bangtan was sitting. She ignored Hyuna's presence as she walked past her and acknowledged her idol friends sitting around. Fansites filming her caught some reactions of some idols watching her in awe, admiring her look for the night as she took a seat next to Jungkook at the end.
"Welcome back!" Jungkook grinned.
"Yeah, glad to see you smiling, brighter. Did something happen?" Hobi asked.
"Thanks! And yeah, I got to meet Wiz, Timbaland and Quincy Jones! My heart was racing a bit! They were awesome! I took photos with them. You'll see on our Twitter," she beamed.
The members were surprised and happy as she talked about the interactions she had with each of them. They could tell she was creatively moved by their words of wisdom. Soon after, the boys were all immersed in their own conversations while Jennie tried to adjust her bracelet which was put on a bit too tightly. She accidentally dropped the bracelet and both her and Jungkook aimed to kneel to grab it.
"Thanks, I got it," she glanced at him with a smile, grabbing it first as they both rose, still sitting quite close.
Jungkook got caught in 4K with the way he kept his eyes on her while her focus was on the stage and audience members as the show was preparing to start soon. The way he glanced at her up and down as a small smile came across his face with his lingering gaze did not go unnoticed with fan sites filming them.
Feeling his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him up and down, with them both occasionally glancing at each other's lips. Then they began to smile as she found herself getting lost in his blue contact colored eyes.
No wonder things felt like something was missing. The two of them realized they hadn't kissed each other all day. They'd been so busy preparing for the show and making sure their dances were fine that they didn't even get a chance to share one kiss today.
"Do you two need to be separated?" Yoongi asked teasingly while covering his mouth to avoid getting his lips read by fans watching them. This became a reoccurring thing to cover their mouths so they could speak more freely at these shows.
Jimin and Taehyung started laughing since they had been watching the couple this whole time.
"They haven't kissed at all, today. Jungkook might just go feral," Jimin giggled.
"Yeah, you two need to be separated," Yoongi advised with an amused smirk, making the 95 Liners laugh again.
"We really don't," Jen replied. "We'll be on our best behavior,"
"Are you sure? You two are distracted by each other," Taehyung teased.
"Do you remember where we are?" Jimin added to the teasing.
"Did we fail to mention we caught Jungkook's pleased expression when smelling her new perfume? He can't get enough,"
"Hyung!" Jungkook glared, feeling his face warm.
"We've moved to you two enjoying each other's smells and scents you use? You two need to relax," Hobi laughed.
"Oh my God, can you leave us alone and stop watching us?" Jennie exclaimed, feeling her face flushed.
"Should I be concerned?" Jin asked, listening to the conversation. "Maybe you two should switch seats," 
"Seriously?" Jungkook frowned.
"We'll be on our best behavior, Jin," Jennie reassured.
"Are you sure? Because I do not believe that,"
"Neither do I," Namjoon spoke up with a light laugh.
"You guys are exaggerating!" Jennie exclaimed. 
"This time, I don't think we are," Jin chuckled and let out a sigh, already knowing they were going to drive him nuts tonight. "Just please try to behave yourselves and stay professional tonight,"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Once the show began, Jennie jumped for joy and found herself getting emotional when IOI won Best New Female Artist. Cameras caught her looking proud and ecstatic for the girls with her eyes getting watery.
When GFriend and Seventeen performed for their collaboration, Hayoon was paired up with Vernon. The synchronization of the two groups blew Jennie's mind as she had her jaw dropped at their dancing. When Gallant performed, she smiled over at Taehyung since he was a big fan and cheered loudly with him, overjoyed with his performance.
As Baekhyun and Suzy performed Dream, Jen watched him, mesmerized as the camera caught her singing along to his parts. The members would glance over and smile at her being so into the song, knowing how much she adored him. It caught a lot of attention from Exols and ever since Jennie started meeting the EXO members, Exols took a liking to her. They loved how vocal she was about her admiration for the group and how highly she spoke of them. The EXO members would always have nothing but good things to say about her and enjoyed their sweet moments together. Armies and Exols wondered if they'd share another moment tonight.
Later, Bangtan managed to win Best Dance Performance. However, Jin and Taehyung weren't with them when they announced them as the winners, causing Jennie to laugh. They were probably in the bathroom. Nonetheless, she stood up with the rest of the boys, bowing and thanking everyone with big smiles.
"Yeah! Go, Jennie! Congrats guys!" Bam Bam shouted and approached them with Yugyeom.
The two Got7 members high fived her, Suga, and Jimin before they went up to the stage. Rapmon gave the award to Hobi and stood behind him so he could do the acceptance speech. Jennie smiled proudly as she stood next to him and listened to him speak.
"Wow! Thank you so much for such a huge award," Hobi said on the mic. "And since it's the best performance award for us, there is a larger meaning behind it. Thank you so much. And to the ARMYs who are always supporting us, thank you so much. And I would like to thank Teacher Son Seung Deuk who created this best performance,"
Jennie chuckled once Taehyung and Jin rushed on stage to join them. They both gave her a look as the three of them tried not to burst out in laughter. The trio smiled at one another while Jin placed his hands on Jungkook and Rapmon's shoulders, smiling at them.
"Thank you so much!" Hobi ended his speech, earning loud cheers.
"Thank you, ARMY!" Suga shouted.
"I love you!" Jin added with Taehyung and blew a flying kiss.
----------
As Zico performed Boys and Girls, Jen sat in between Hobi and Taehyung, vibing and doing the choreography. Once he made his way over to where Bangtan was sitting, the members danced in their seats while he took a seat near Rapmon on the arm of the couch. When Bermuda Triangle came on, she stood up with Hobi and Taehyung, getting hyped as they watched Dean and Zico back on the main stage.
"This is my shit!" she started dancing and vibing to Dean, singing along with Hobi and Taehyung.
Don't let 'em in, let 'em in
Get out my zone
We, we, we never know
We, we, we never talk
'Cause we, we, we criminal
Don't let 'em in, let 'em in
Get out my zone
She laughed out loud when Taehyung began dabbing and she followed his movements, making him happy. Once Zico summoned Crush, Jennie immediately turned and locked eyes with Jungkook who was still sitting as they pointed to each other and lip synced his verse.
Nuul jaril jedaero bogo nuwoyaji
Y'all fake bitches tryna act like me
Anjaseo meongman ttaeryeodo nae sopa wie (ssodajineun)
Mula, mula, we gon' pour up
Murder, murder, sumeul jungnyeo
Sangkwaehae ne meori wie gonggi
Nobody can't come over here
Dean, Crush, and Zico killed it on stage, hyping up the crowd. It was one of her favorite performances of the night. Later on, Jen switched seats again and found herself sitting at the end with Jungkook. She grinned as the next act consisted of a collaboration between Got 7, Monsta X, and NCT 127.
Get it lifted
As soon as NCT's Firetruck began to play, Jennie began nodding her head to the beat, enjoying the song. This song was a banger and one of her absolute favorites.
"Firetruck," she mouthed, beginning to lip sync the song while dancing in her seat.
"Ey, yea, yea, yea, yea!" She fan chanted with the audience and Jungkook.
The camera showed Jennie and Jungkook both on the screen as loud cheers occurred and they looked at the camera, headbanging. Bangtan giggled at their enthusiasm and so did some other idols who peeped them on screen.
Fans tweet:
'Why they matching each other's energy so loudly?'
'Their face cards!'
'They're making the same facial expression, so cute'
'JenKook!!'
'I think she does a little bit too much at these award shows. Just sit and enjoy the show, not all the excessive dancing, taking attention from the artists on stage,'
'These two are so beautiful. Wow!'
'Lmfaoooo they are a mood!'
'I'm really happy Mnet is showing Jennie on screen. Her reactions are always so lively instead of others just sitting there,'
'I love how excited she gets about all these groups. Still a K-Pop fan at heart. I'm happy she still reacts this way at shows,'
After NCT performed, Jennie cheered on Jooheon who rapped with Taeyong. His flow and attitude were amazing and she paid close attention to how he performed. Once Monsta X began to perform Fighter, she ended up cheering for Wonho when he was shown singing. She passionately sang his lines while fans had tweeted how Wonho biased she was. After their performance, it was time for Got7 as they performed Hard Carry with her dancing along.
As the show went on, she was proud to see Seventeen win the World Performer Award as she was the first to stand and applaud. Seeing The8 made her smile widely and wave as he waved back.
"Gosh, I hope one day I'm chosen to present an award at one of these shows. It would be fun," Jennie thought out loud.
When the presenters began to announce the nominees for best female vocal performance, Jennie jumped in her seat and cheered loudly when Ailee was shown on the screen. Bangtan glanced at her with knowing smiles, loving her excitement for the woman she had admired for years.
Once Ailee was announced as the winner, she applauded, jumping up and down, excitedly. Just before going up to the stage, Ailee caught a glimpse of Jen and smiled widely, waving at her. When she gave her acceptance speech, the camera caught Jennie watching her with admiration. The angle of where Jennie was filmed caused Twitter to geek over how beautiful her face card was and point out the love in her eyes as she watched Ailee.
With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.
"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.
"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"
"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.
"You just did it again,"
"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.
Lately, with the members, her smarties are always on standby. Over the years of getting to know her, they started to understand and know exactly when she wanted the candy and managed to always hand them to her before she opened her mouth to ask.
"Still, thank you," she added and began eating them.
As she ate her smarties, she ended up tossing them up in the air to catch and eat. Wanting to challenge her, Jungkook decided to do it too with his pack of smarties to see who could catch more in their mouths. In the end, Jungkook won as he grinned victoriously while Jennie caught any smarties that she missed from her mouth with her fast hands.
Rule Number One: Do NOT waste Smarties
Next up on the show was Twice and IOI performing. Jennie looked and felt like a proud mom watching IOI perform Pick Me. Fansites caught her entire reaction to the girls performing and thought it was wholesome seeing her get emotional. Being a trainer at Produce 101 to seeing the girls thrive as a group made her heart feel complete. Whenever Jennie was shown on screen, loud cheers would occur and sometimes idols reacted positively when they saw her on screen, with some smiling and commenting that she looked nice.
Once IOI began to perform Very, Very, Very, Jennie began to do the choreography while lip syncing.
nal neomuneomuneomu
neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu
neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu
After they performed, Twice was up to perform Cheer Up and then TT as she watched happily, cheering her friends, Mina and Jihyo, on.
"Just like TT! Just like TT!" she performed the choreography with Taehyung.
-----------
It was time for Hyuna to perform, as some idols were anticipating if anything was going to happen. They hadn't found something this entertaining in a while and hoped something would go down between her and Jennie. Hyuna strutted on stage and performed U&ME. Then she performed How's This with her backup dancers.
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Jennie thought it was extremely petty of Mnet to keep a camera right in front of her to film her every reaction but she remained unamused and watched with her head up high. Bangtan didn't even like the fact that the camera was basically in her face nor did Armies.
Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.
Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.
Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.
Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.
Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.
However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.
Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.
'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.
Fans tweet:
'Not again!! Enough already!'
'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'
'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'
'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'
'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'
'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'
'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'
'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'
'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'
'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'
'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'
'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'
'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'
Little did they know Jennie was listening closely and analyzing what she was saying to use it against her.
'High and mighty...' she thought, making a mental note.
----------
Timbaland arrived on stage to perform with Eric Nam.
And boy was it...awkward.
She sat next to Namjoon during this performance and covered her mouth to murmur to him, "Yo, Timbaland looks so confused. This whole performance is hard to watch,"
And he agreed. It was hard to watch. And she wished the crowd was more excited for Timbaland. It was THE Timbaland and the audience wasn't that loud for him in comparison to Eric Nam. No offense to him.
After being told they were needed backstage, Bangtan got ready for their performance. She changed out of her dress to wear black pants and a long-sleeved ruffled white shirt that hugged her body nicely. With her hair out, she wore a black suit jacket with some silver designs around it, and the daisy pin was placed on the jacket for good luck. As she got ready, she watched on the monitor to see that EXO had won best group and Twice won best female group.
Waiting to get on stage, Jennie ended up posting G-Dragon's iconic diss on the MAMA Awards on her Instagram story, which sparked even more interest in what was going to happen tonight.
"I got a little solo stage. It's going to be pretty fun. I hope everyone likes what I have in store," she beamed at the Bangtan Bomb camera after warming up her voice.
She looked ahead to see Jin checking out the special effects makeup on Taehyung's back to show off his broken wings. He went on the touch it but began to freak out, causing her to giggle.
"It feels like pudding!" Jin exclaimed.
"Why is Jin Hyung so childish?" Namjoon wondered, causing Jennie to laugh again.
The laughter loosened her up and made her less on edge about tonight's big performance.
She was ready.
After everyone was ready and went over last minute rehearsals, the eight of them gathered around and put their hands in the middle.
"All right, fellas! Let's make it a memorable one!" Jennie cheered.
"Indeed! Mama 2016, let's make it a legend. Bangtan! Bangtan!" Namjoon shouted.
"Bang-Bangtan! Fighting!" the group shouted and pushed their hands down.
----------
Backstage with the rest of the boys, Jennie watched with a smile as Jungkook looked ethereal while hanging from the ceiling on stage. He really did his thing. And it was harder than it looked.
She turned to the backup dancers who were patiently waiting for their cue to come out after they performed BST. She greeted them happily and asked if the cookies she made for them yesterday tasted fine. They raved over their love for her baking and appreciated her kindness. She wanted to thank them for being such a great support system for Bangtan and wanted to give them something nice.
"Let's have some fun! See you out there!" She beamed and bowed at them.
On stage, next up was J-Hope performing Boy Meets Evil, hyping up the crowd with a blue background. Then Jimin was revealed on stage, featuring a red background as he danced to Lie while blindfolded.
"The camera work though~?" Jennie watched in awe while the camera did a full circle as he danced.
Then the two had an epic dance collaboration on stage while performing the rest of the choreography for Boy Meets Evil. After they were done, the rest of the group met up on stage and began to perform Blood, Sweat, & Tears as the audience cheered loudly.
wonhae mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani
Here we go, the most anticipated part. The audience had been waiting to see a MAMA Award version of their duet. As the rest of the members were on the floor, only Jen remained standing with Jungkook. Like always, Jungkook stared at her with love and desire as he slowly made his way toward her from behind. With his presence behind her and face near her neck, he held her in his arms. She leaned into his arms as she began to sing with her mic.
How much longer before you consume me?
No matter how much I resist, I can't fight what you're doing
He turned her around and tried to get closer but she backed away. Persistent this time, he pulled her straight into his chest as he smirked and held her gaze with the audience screaming at their closeness.
My mind is telling me to break free but my body is freaking out
No, I can't want you, get out of my head
As you love every inch of me you see that I want it too
They continued to dance sensually with him mirroring her movements.
Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew
Reflecting on my choices, I'm wonderin' if there's any way out of this
"Here comes my favorite part!" Yugyeom pointed out with the rest of Got 7 agreeing.
"Are they about to do the spin, this time?" Somi asked the IOI members as they were hopeful.
"Are they gonna do it?" Baekhyun wondered.
"The part is coming~!" Yuji giggled with the rest of GFriend.
"The spin coming?" Mingyu asked in anticipation, leaning forward, studying their movements.
"Let it be the spin," Mina had her fingers crossed.
"Here comes the spin!" Wonho cheered.
The idols got excited and so did the crowd as they began screaming and cheering when JenKook did their signature move. Everyone watched in awe at how they moved and thought about the amount of trust that was needed to pull it off. They weren't called The Golden Duo for nothing.
Jennie was pulled back into his arms as she continued to sing.
I'm losing this battle, I just can't resist. 
The music changed slightly from the original instrumental of BST. Jennie and Jungkook were supposed to dance a little more for this instrumental but they remained close and pressed up against each other with her in his arms. They held each other's strong gaze and suddenly their lips met as they drowned out the loud pandemonium around the venue.
With their eyes closed, Jungkook gently lifted her chin and turned his head to deepen the kiss as they both smiled into it.
With the idols, Bam Bam began shaking Jackson while their jaws were dropped, looking shooked. Jay B and Mark widened their eyes while the rest of Got7 acted chaotic as they all enjoyed every bit of the surprising moment.
"What!? What!?" Jackson shouted as he fell dramatically.
The boys laughed at his reaction. Yugyeom grinned immediately once he saw them kiss and let out a chuckle. It made him proud to see Jungkook be so open about Jennie like this. The amount of guy talks they had about girls and how Jungkook's eyes would light up whenever he mentioned her made Yugyeom understand that these two were serious about each other.  
The kiss fit so well with the performance and her lyrics. But there was no denying the love in their eyes as they looked at each other and how they kissed.
With IOI, various reactions occurred as some dropped their jaws, widened their eyes, covered their mouths, and giggled to themselves. Some filming them even caught a few of them mentioning how happy and cute Jennie looked with Jungkook. With EXO as they watched the kiss unfold, Chanyeol covered his face, giggling at the sight. Baekhyun smiled genuinely, watching Jennie kiss the man she loved dearly.
"Full of surprises," Sehun chuckled.
"Very," Xiumin added.
Twice looked at one another, surprised at the sudden kiss. They were excited to see their signature move but a kiss on top of that? Blown away. Mina and Jihyo glanced at each other with big smiles, happy for their friends.
"Did you think that was going to happen?" Jihyo asked.
"I didn't think it would but look at them. So cute! Jennie truly loves him. She smiles so brightly with him,"
"Mm hm!"
With Monsta X, the boys reacted dramatically and were in awe at their chemistry.
"I was waiting for a kiss!" Hyungwon pointed out.
"Me too, I was like, they have to do something big," Shownu chuckled.
"I wasn't expecting that at all, like damn!" Jooheon exclaimed.
All of GFriend gasped and then began jumping and squealing in their seats after seeing them smooch. Hayoon giggled with the girls and pointed out the kiss.
"It's happening! It's happening! I cannot stay calm about this! Finally~!" Hayoon cheered and began clapping with Yuji and Eunha.
"They kiss so passionately, my gosh," Sowon looked on, amazed.
Seventeen looked surprised while Mingyu and The8 happily smiled, enjoying the fact that their friends kissed openly on stage.
Meanwhile, Hyuna rolled her eyes as her reaction was filmed and she began to frown. She had her fair share of kisses on the MAMA Awards stage but the way the audience was screaming and cheering was a much louder reception than hers over the years.
With Bangtan, the boys were caught by surprise by their kissing. No one said anything about a kiss on stage. Jimin and Taehyung did their best not to freak out as they focused on the performance. The way they grinned and glanced at each other while they remained on the floor. Their hearts felt full to see their ship this open with each other in public. They especially loved how the kiss was a deep and passionate one and not just a short and sweet one.
Yoongi had enlarged his eyes a little at the bold move, wondering if this had been planned privately in advance. Getting over his initial shock, he became amused.
'These kids...' he thought.
Namjoon wasn't too surprised about it. He knew Jennie and Jungkook loved to be extra. He felt proud to see them show affection to each other on stage, not having a care in the world. They looked happy and that was all he wanted for them. To be happy like this privately and publicly. He found himself getting amused as he glanced at their passionate lip lock.
Mnet was having a field day with this. Ratings were definitely through the roof now with this shocking moment along with them raising the bar on this passionate kiss.
Jin and Hobi screamed internally when they saw them smooch. They weren't expecting it and thought they'd go along with their routine. After getting over the shock, it pleased them to see them be this bold in public and thought it fit well with the performance.
Back with Jennie and Jungkook, they pulled away as she bit her bottom lip lightly, returning his smile.
But then...reality set in.
'Oh...oh shit,' They both thought and realized what just happened.
They both remained "In Character" for their performance although it was pretty clear their feelings were showing out. It was bound to happen. The kiss was not planned at all but they moved to each other by instinct. And it felt good. So good. She kissed her boyfriend in front of the entire world, solidifying a MAMA Awards moment.
Remembering her last line, she finally sang the end of her verse.
Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I'll be stuck reminiscing. 
Jungkook had to refrain from kissing her again as they both leaned back in which caused more screaming from the audience to occur. Then they reluctantly pulled away as he blew out air and shook his head a few times, trying to control himself from making out with her on stage.
'We're on stage. We're on stage,' Jungkook reminded himself as he kept backing away from her and went to the next dance position for the song.
With the screaming still occurring around the venue and fansites of Jennie and Jungkook catching their every facial expression, this moment was on its way to going viral.
People on social media were going crazy over the timeline with memes and various tweets:
'JENKOOK STANS RISE!'
'It wasn't even a quick kiss! That kiss was longer than anticipated!'
'My man did NOT want to let her go.'
'They both looked like they didn't want to let each other go. They were both in a trance!''
'We said spin not kiss wtf wtf AHHHHHH!'
'WHY DID SHE KISS HIM!? WAIT!'
'Oh...OH! They playing this BST sexy persona a little TOO well!'
'The way he had the GRIP on her?! Jungkook PLEASE!'
'The way he backed away!? She got him straining!'
'Jungkook saw an opportunity and took it! That smile into the kiss!? Oh, my man wanted to do that for a LONG time!'
'Why is he kissing Jennie!? Why!?'
'I'm fine...I'm totally fine...'
'We shipped the right ship! They kissed! They fucking kissed in front of everybody!'
'Were they acting!? Because that looked too real!'
'Jennie looked so dazed after kissing him!'
'Rookie King Kiss on STEROIDS!'
'That kiss was too American!'
'Do you see how happy the 97 Liners are looking?! Something is up!'
'Cries in Taennie!'
'The kiss that was meant for Taehyung nooooo!'
'And to think this was supposed to be Taehyung in this position instead,'
'How to be Jennie? Had sexy scenes with Taehyung and now gets to kiss Jungkook on stage? Lucky!'
'It's happening! Everybody stay calm! Stay fucking calm!'
'That tension is something that cannot be replicated because I was going crazy watching them on my screen. I was like KISS! And when they did I screamed! I didn't think they would do it!'
'How can I be Jennie in this moment?'
'A stage kiss!? Is this a stage kiss!? This looks so real!'
'Jennie's acting lessons are paying off. She is playing the part well of slowly giving in to temptation. Jungkook is hard to resist!'
'THE TENSION! THE BEDROOM EYES!? OH MY GOD!'
'WTF WTF A KISS!?'
'WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!'
'JENKOOK POR FAVOR!!'
'I have no choice but to Stan. Jennie show me your ways. First it was Taehyung, now it's Jungkook!'
'We got a man down! Jungkook get up! He is obsessed!'
'The way I felt like a third wheel I–'
'Jennie STAND UP! Ma'am you're supposed to be resisting temptation!'
'He down baaaad! What is happening!?'
'AHHHH'
'SKSKSKSKS'
'WTF JUST HAPPENED!?'
'They taking it to a whole new level!'
'OH MY GOD'
'Lives are about to be CHANGED!'
'Y'all can stop being in denial now! JenKook forever! Better than your other ships!'
'They are stressing me out! Can they PLEASE confirm it!?'
'Do you know how long we've waited for a kiss!?'
'JenKook stans we up!'
After performing the rest of the song and heading backstage while Jin and Taehyung do their final act together, Jungkook pulled Jennie into his arms and looked down at her.
"No turning back now," he grinned.
"I know," she grinned back. "I feel relieved and happy,"
"Me too. Kill it out there. I'll see you, soon. I love you,"
He cupped her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, followed by multiple short kisses.
"I love you, too,"
"Was that planned?" Namjoon laughed.
"It just happened. I don't know who leaned in first," Jennie admitted.
"I don't know either but I'm not complaining," Jungkook added.
Jimin and Hobi jumped excitedly with Yoongi.
"JENKOOK~!" Yoongi shouted, making them all laugh as he started shaking the couple.
"Oh my God..." Jennie chuckled.
"JENKOOK~!" Jimin shouted. "Do you know how happy Tae and I were!? Our ship is soaring! Finally! That kiss was everything! You two know how to make us proud, huh?!"
The staff members had to step in to get them to separate so they could get them to their next location for the main stage while Jennie remained where she was. She waved goodbye and got ready.
"Jennifer."
She turned to see Yoongi.
"Control your emotions out there and wreck her life. You got this," he nodded in reassurance.
"Thanks, I will. See you out there," she nodded and saw him walk away, only leaving Namjoon.
Namjoon smiled down at her and held her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.
"Jennie, you are undeniable. You are so good that they can't ignore you. This is your moment. Show them who Miss Bangtan is,"
Her eyes got glossy as she looked up at him and broke out into a grin.
"Thank you,"
He pulled her in for a big hug, kissing her forehead.
"I am so proud of you. And I am proud to be your leader. I'll see you out there,"
Once he left, she let out a deep breath and waited for her cue as she gripped her mic. The backup dancers were currently on stage, some in white cloaks and black cloaks while a Bangtan Bomb had been filming her all this time.
'Why did you and Jungkook kiss on stage?'
She was asked as a smile crept up on her lips at their lip lock. Turning to the camera she responded with a wink, "I did say no matter how much I resist I can’t fight what you’re doing. I officially fell into temptation. It was worth it though,"
Once the staff told her she could go on stage, she touched her daisy pin, thinking of G-Dragon. As soon as she got back on that stage...she knew everything was about to change.
"I hope I continue to make you proud," she murmured.
PART 2 OF THIS CHAPTER
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monbons · 2 days
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WIP Wednesday
Posting actual WIPS on a Wednesday? Imagine that.
As long as we are all baring our hearts on tumblr, I have to admit that I have been struggling to write anything since I wrapped up Eternal Life (back in the first week of April). At first I figured I was simply burnt out since I wrote all 42k words of that fic in just about a month, but given that I've started three separate WIPS since then and made zero progress on any of them, I'm wondering if I am just out of stories. I hate all my words--even though I really love some of these concepts. So, as you may have noticed, I've been distracting myself with sewing projects because good progress is so clearly visible there...
Anywho, to motivate myself, I decided to post a snip of each today and hope that having bits out in the world will motivate me to finish at least ONE of them! All untitled. Set up and snips below the cut.
Very creatively titled "Party Robot," this WIP is a silly/fluffy one-shot inspired by an article I read a while ago about a growing trend in American weddings. This one is the furthest along and will likely see the light of day eventually...
A nervous bounce.  From a robot. I recognize that bounce. “I thought you said Shepard was working tonight.” My voice is tight. “He is.” Bunce replies, similarly strained. “What did you say he does again?” Panic rises in my chest.  “He’s in entertain–”  Whether Bunce trails off or I simply don’t hear the rest is irrelevant because the music has changed from easy dinner instrumentals to much-too-loud techno and the show is clearly starting. As the synths build, driving towards a crescendo, my brain reels with the growing realisation that Simon would never just abandon me at the last minute, would never send me anywhere alone, certainly not my cousin’s gay wedding, which is every kind of milestone given his Old Families lineage and Pitch blood specifically and– “PARTY PEOPLE!” The DJ booms into the mic. “Have the grooms got a treat for you!”
A multi-chapter AU I have lovingly nicknamed "Baz in a Bubble." It is sad and angsty and is proving significantly more difficult to execute (despite having a complete outline) than I once thought it would be. Who could have guessed having one home-bound character would make me too sad to write? Thanks to @thewholelemon and @hushed-chorus who've listened to more than their fair share of my griping about this one. Anyway, here's the first bit of BAZ POV:
There are exactly 297 stars in the sky above me. I count them while lying in my bed every night. They do not twinkle or flicker hello like real stars. Instead, they glow a constant yellowish-green that reminds me of the colour artists always make toxic sludge in the cartoons I grew up watching. It's the colour of superhuman villains and their evil plots. Of poison. Of danger. It's the colour of the plastic star stickers Fiona put up on my ceiling when I was 10 and spent the whole year crying and begging her to go outside. Just once. Just for a minute. Because I was starting to forget what fresh air smelled like or how it felt to have grass prickle against your bare feet or how the stars lit up the night sky in Hampshire. There are no stars in the middle of London. Not outside my window. Not in this room.
And then the WIP I have the least progress on (literally almost nothing) but I so desperately want to write and could really use a thought partner to help me brainstorm/plot/figure out what the hell I'm doing--- a canon divergence where Simon successfully exposes Baz as a vamp and Malcolm steps the fuck up as a father. Here's a bit of Simon POV:
It didn't matter anyway. Pitch Manor was empty. While [the Mage] ranted and raved, I wandered into Baz’s living room. The TV was still on. Peppa the Pig was playing. A half-dressed Barbie was splayed on the couch next to a small bowl of grapes, all cut in half. I picked up the doll and brushed her tangled hair out of her face.  Why didn’t I know Baz had a sister? A family that ate snacks together in front of the TV? Parents who loved him so dearly they fled their whole lives under cover of night? In the days that followed, I sat in meeting after meeting with the Coven, listening to The Mage. He demanded the casting of tracking spells, pushed through more dark creature reforms, and rambled about the miscarriage of justice and the dangers of harbouring monsters.  But Baz wasn’t a monster.  He was just a boy.  A scared boy.  A boy who ran because he wanted to live. 
Anyway...here's to accountability via tumblr. Maybe once I've slept for several weeks and feel more refreshed I won't be so frustrated by every word I know, or more precisely, all the beautiful ones I can’t seem to find…
Thanks for the tag @bookish-bogwitch. Cannot wait to devour the new chapter of BPD!
Hellos and high-fives to all. May your words (and art) be faring better than mine: @raenestee, @cutestkilla, @roomwithanopenfire, @facewithoutheart
@emeryhall, @artsyunderstudy, @aristocratic-otter, @larkral, @rimeswithpurple
@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @shrekgogurt, @blackberrysummerblog, @iamamythologicalcreature
@run-for-chamo-miles, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @arthurkko, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold
@beastmonstertitan, @supercutedinosaurs, @rbkzz, @fiend-for-culture, @theearlgreymage
@brilla-brilla-estrellita, @skeedelvee, @ic3-que3n, @talentpiper11, @ivelovedhimthroughworse
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Reasons Jason Todd is actually a green flag because i'm always dunking on him and now i feel bad about it LOL
As Robin he was a soft sunshine boy who was too shy to talk to girls and a theater lover but also had a strong sense of justice that was so powerful he pushed a guy off a roof for SA'ing a woman and only felt bad about it because Bruce made him cry over it by making him feel like a monster for killing him due to the 'No Kill' rule
Shakespeare nerd and loves classical literature in general and his poetry(narration)is actually pretty good
Cocky ass nigga but not a serial flirt and has demi/romance favorable aroace swag with a canon distaste for amatornormativity that's a running trait of his
It's also canon his type is weirdgirls who match his energy and all of his love interests have woc too boot(Rose who's half cambodian,Artemis who's egyptian and Dana who's black)
And he rejected a normie blonde white girl(Isabel)because she was too corny and forceful with her advances and was grossed out by Kory's deblackification and dehumanization instead of taking advantage of her
Mama's boy to the max(Catherine,Talia,Nocturna and in a tragic way Sheila too)
Was a street kid and grew up to still hate rich people with his whole chest instead of being performative about it(comrade Jason)
Manly but in a trans kinda way
This includes being goth punk and a tough guy not out of fragile masculinity and 2/3 of the girlfriends he's had were butches but as a trauma response
'*Sees the first ever black Robin after not giving a fuck about any of his other brothers*I fuck with him actually,let's go to Batburger manito'
One time he targeted a guy to kill him because he was an elementary school teacher who was sexually abusing one of his student's and stated this as the reason in-text for why he hated him
Also is anti-incest as he said he thinks the thought of kissing his brothers is disgusting and included Duke in it so Jason stays saying Duke is a real Batkid rights
Re him being punk,it's implied he's a straightedge since he almost never drinks alchohol at bars and dosen't smoke either
In his lego movie,they himbofied him and he sounds like a fucking surfer in it.It's so hot.Ignore that last part,
When DC finally let him and Stephanie interact,he was a lot nicer to her than she was treated back in the 90s and 2000s by other male characters(thank you Cass for giving her the appreciation she deserved)and nothing romantic comes out of it and instead they're like siblings
His favorite food is neapolitan.What a fucking dork
Great cook and homemaker in general
There's a thirst trap ass panel of him saying 'You spread your legs for stability' so i mean.He cares(I'm so sorry LMAOOOOOO)
Dad-Shaped but well-written instead of an offputting cornball i.e His dynamics with kids have his trauma and lack of experience in mind and he had to develop into it and he's actually pretty good at it now
The only times he behaved the way the fandom wants him to is in og Rhato,where he was written with complete disrespect to his character and history and that's tells you a lot with the kinda person Grant Morrison turned out to be and how Jayr*ys continue to defend their writing.Love Jason,hate fanon
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justallihere · 1 day
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Not so much an ask so much as I just want to thank you for writing storm in the quiet. I've been re-reading it and seeing them slowly fall in love has just made me so happy. They really amd truly just got to know each other through whispers in the dark, and each moment made them stronger together.
With romance stories I tend to ask myself "why do they love each other?" So many stories tend to have an "they just do, trust me" vibe from the author, but storm in the quiet doesn't have that. I could see Xaden starting to fall for her as she was able to shoulder everything being queen and their marriage did, and she came out stronger.
And Violet fell for Xaden because he saw her and never thought her weak. How when she thought she was being weak herself, he still found her powerful and capable.
I'm not sure if I'm making much sense, I just wanted to say that you've made Xaden and Violet falling in love feel real to me. And I thank you for this story :)
Thank you! You are making perfect sense 🫶🏻🥹🥹
I love you guys endlessly for reading this fic a chapter at a time as I post it, but there’s something really special about reading it all together and actually seeing the progression of their relationship in one go instead of having those breaks in between. My biggest fear writing it has been that I wouldn’t be deliberate enough in how they fall in love and that exactly what you said would happen—it would feel like they only loved each other because I said so. But I’m really proud of the way I crafted those quieter, softer moments with them where they get under each other’s skin and support each other and make each other better, so thank you for this ask. I’m so glad you love it 🩷🩷
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