#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lyrazehedgieboiii · 4 years

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Sonic catches Amy reading / writing sonadow fan fiction?

LMAO YES, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS ONE, I WANTED TO DO THIS SOOOOO BAD. ALSO SORRY THIS WAS LATE.

Sonic was over at Amy’s house, enjoying some cookies and tea, because goddamnit, her double chocolate-chip cookies were to die for.

“Thanks for inviting me over, Ames. These cookies are sooo good!” Sonic moaned in delight. Amy giggled.

“You’re welcome, Sonic. I made some for Tails, but the poor little guy was up all night working on an invention, so I put some cookies on the counter for him, and wrote a note, so he knows I made them.” Amy said, as she put the tray down on the coffee table. “Anyways, I’m going to change, you can turn on the T.V. Okay?” Sonic nodded. She went to her room, and Sonic watched as her sway her hips. He got a little excited, but controlled it. He turned his head back and turned on the T.V. Please be Comedy Chimp, please be Comedy Chimp-

And it’s a drama. Wait no. It’s a play. It’s Hamilton. Wait, wasn’t it supposed to be on Disney Plus on July 3rd? Oh welp, might as well watch this. Sonic remembered the time he and the gang found Amy’s script, and they acted to it. He looked in the drawer that it was originally in, only to find a book labeled ‘Sonadow.’ Curious to what it was, he opened it, and skimmed to a random chapter. It said ‘Pregnancy Test.’ He started reading until he realized that Shadow and himself were the protagonists of the story. Shadow was the pregnant one. This book was in Amy’s house. In. Her. Drawer.

“Okay I’m back-” Amy stopped in her tracks when she saw Sonic holding the book. She immediately thought of excuses and stories to why she had that book. She wrote it, but was glad that she hadn’t written her name down in the book, otherwise it would get very weird between them. “That’s n-not mine...” Sonic appeared quite flustered.

“Then who does it belong to?” Sonic asked, his eyes twitching in what seemed to be anger.

“...Would you believe me if I said it belonged to Lyra?” Amy replied, hoping Sonic would actually fall for that.

“Makes sense, I guess. I mean, I thought she shipped...well...us?” Sonic blushed deeper while saying.

“S-she has many ships, so don’t expect her to have just one...” She knew that Lyra had OCD’s when even thinking about Sonadow, but it was the only reasonable excuse she had, she didn’t want it to become awkward between them.

“O-Oh...y-you haven’t read this, have you?” He asked her.

“I saw the title and understood immediately...” She said cautiously. She knew Sonic very well, but at a time like this, she was very confused as to what his reaction would be.

“That girl is going to publicly humiliate me one day.” Sonic nervously chuckled. Amy repeated his actions, not sure of what to do now.

“I-I’ll give it back to her later, why don’t you just eat the cookies and pretend you never saw that?” Amy said in a rushed expression. Sonic noticed and decided not to think too much of it.

“...Okay...” He hesitated before saying.

- TIME SKIP!!!! -

Amy was sitting in her room, doing something on her laptop that had her complete focus, Sonic observed. He made some sounds on purpose to see how Amy would react, but she didn’t even seem to notice.

“What is she doing? She’s never this distracted.” Sonic thought out loud, only to hear Amy giggle while typing something in. She looked like she was about to swoon. She started cracking up, and put the laptop on the edge of the bed, which was on the other side, and she got on her back and tried to take deep breaths. Sonic snuck in through her windows, which have no glass and are covered by tapestries. He started reading whatever she was typing and saw Shadow’s name.

“Ah~ I just love Sonadow~ It has a better chance of being canon than SonAmy will ever have.” She said, completely unaware of the second person in her room. Sonic got up and cleared his throat. Amy’s eyes immediately widened, her eyesight never leaving the ceiling. “IS SOMETHING LYRA WOULD SAY HEHEHEHEH...” Amy nervously continued saying, before taking the computer.

“Then how come you were writing it?” Sonic asked in a disapproving tone.

“Uh...Lyra was asking me to edit it, so I was helping?” Sonic still looked unconvinced. he yanked the laptop out of her hands.

“Why the fuck do you think that SonAmy has a less chance of being canon compared to Sonadow?” He questioned, waving the laptop in the air.

“Well, you would never like me, and you’re always arguing with Shadow and you just seem like you enjoy his company more than when you’re with me.” Amy replied sadly, her ears drooping.

“Ames, I enjoy your company! I just tease him that he’s slow, that’s all. No romantic feelings for him. Just rivalry and friendship!” Sonic exclaimed. Amy giggled.

“But wouldn’t you like to be more with him?” Amy asked, scooting closer.

“Eww, no. He’s too emo. I prefer girls.” Sonic said, dropping the laptop on the bed, and putting his hands behind his head.

“Yeah, I know. I see how you always flirt with them...” Amy responded with a melancholy tone. Sonic noticed this and got an idea.

“Welp, I gotta go...run, and stuff like that.” And with that, Sonic zips off to who-knows-where. Amy quickly grabs her laptop and clicks the publish button.

- MEANWHILE WITH SONIKKU -

Sonic went to Lyra’s house to get something, and he went back to his hut in less than two seconds.

“Okay, Sonamy. What are lemons...” Sonic zoned out, wondering what on Mobius citrus had to do with Sonic and Amy. Sonic wasn’t a huge fan of having anything with lemons in it, and he knew that Amy doesn’t really make sour or bitter foods. He clicked on what said Sonamy boom lemons, and saw that there were a lot of chapters. He went to the first one, and started reading. “Oh. OH. OHHHHH MY CHAOS, HOLY SHIT! THAT’S A LEMON?! AND WHY THE FUCK IS MY DICK ONLY FOUR INCHES IN THIS STORY?! IT’S MORE THAN THAT-” Sonic stopped himself when he realized that he was upset over his member size and not the fact that Amy was taking control of him in this story.

“I need something...AH! Here! This is perfect.” Sonic smirked at his idea, and then ran to Amy’s house to bring his idea to action.

“Sonic?” Amy answered the door, and her face was showing shock. Sonic walked towards her, until she was leaning against the back of her couch.

“My beautiful Ames, my gorgeous Rose, how would you like to go on a date with me?

“I-I-I-I...what?” Amy asked flustered at the sudden and definitely unexpected question.

“Did I stutter? If anything, you were the one stuttering. I know, I’d be stuttering too, if I were to ask me out on a date~” Sonic repeated himself, adding a witty comment in that.

“Are you Sonic?” Amy cautiously questioned, hoping this wasn’t another prank by Morpho.

“I am, Amy. Sonic the Hedgehog, Fastest Thing Alive.” Sonic proudly stated. Amy giggled.

“So you are. Why are you asking me out on a date? Is this to prove that you’re not into Shadow?”

“No. I’m asking you out because I want to, and you better say ‘yes’ or I’m just going to nag you until you do.”

“Okay, okay. Yes. I’ll go on a date with you, but what’s up with your sudden flirtiness? You never act like this, let alone with me.” Amy inquired. That made Sonic smirk.

“Why not? I have to be your dream hedgehog, otherwise you’d ship Silver with Shadow.” Sonic responded. Amy shook. Sonic got worried by her weird uncharacteristic actions. “Amy! Why are you shaking? Are you okay?” He saw that her eyes were glossed with tears. “Amy! Are you crying?” He honestly didn’t know what to do, hug her? That’s what Amy does whenever someone’s crying. He wrapped his arms around her, genuine worry crawling over his features. Amy flinched as soon as his hands touched her, and she backed away after taking in everything.

-----------STOP HERE------------------- There are two endings for this story. Right under this is the humorous one, and below that is the one for hopeless romantics.

“Okay Sonic, game’s over. What do you want?” Amy asked after attempting to ignore the weird twitch and tingles in her body.

“Whatever do you mean, Amelia?” Sonic responded in a dreamy tone. Amy rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

“Do you even like me? You only flirt with every other girl, apparently not me...unless you’re trying to get or prove something...” Amy hesitatingly tells him, puzzled as to why he was acting charming to her. Sonic’s cheeks and ears turned a deep shade of red.

“...Maybe, but I only flirt for a reason-”

“Don’t give me that shitty excuse, Sonic the Hedgehog. You’re a terrible liar, and I don’t want to hear it.” Amy sassed out, which wasn’t surprising to Sonic, because ever since they all moved to Hedgehog Village, her attitude changed, as so her habits.

“But it’s not...I actually like you! And if I have to chase you for the rest of my life to prove it, so be it! I’ll run everywhere just to look for you! I want you~!” Sonic whispered in her ear, after giving it a nip and kiss.

“Please don’t. I don’t want our reputations tarnished because you decide to run after me like some kind of weirdo. Honestly, I should’ve written that you were the pregnant one,” (anyone noticed the fanfiction reference? :D) Amy stated bluntly. Sonic took two steps towards her. He leaned his face in her’s.

“Say that again, Pinky.” Sonic warned as her arms went around his neck. He heard a ‘POOF,’ and sweatdropped.

“What did you call me, Blue Boy?” She queried. Sonic started to sweat and blushed once again at the sudden closeness. His confidence then returned out of nowhere.

“I called you, Pinky. What’s the matter? Don’t like it?” Sonic smugly replied. Amy glared at him.

“It’s not that, it’s just that I’m getting turned on by the second~.” Amy lustfully said, biting her bottom lip. Sonic widened her eyes.

“W-WHAT?!” Sonic shrieked out, not knowing whether to pounce or to run away.

“Why are you acting all jumpy? You literally just bit my ear in a seducing tone!” Amy yelled out at him, her sexy act forgotten. Sonic looked heavily disturbed at Amy’s choice of words.

“Seducing?!” Sonic squeaked. Amy was trying her best not to swoon at how adorable she found that squeak to be.

“Yes! Don’t you want me?!” Amy hollered, her own cheeks burning up.

“Okay, fine! Yes! Now can we get to the part where we say how we feel and kiss?” Sonic uttered out.

“I love you!” Amy exclaimed. You shouldn’t be shocked by her boldness, as she’s been like that all her life.

“I-I l-lo-love you too!” He responded. There was practically steam coming out of their ears by the amount of blushing that was happening.

“Let’s kiss!” Before Sonic could respond, Amy pounced on him and tackled his lips. They both felt fireworks soar through their body, shivering at the new sensation that they gave each other.

“Give me a strip show, baby~” Sonic inaudibly murmured in her ear.

“Only if you use protection.”

“What’s the fun in that?!”

HOPELESS ROMANTIC ending----------

“I-I’m sorry.” She breathed out in a troubled voice. She slammed the door shut, and ran to her room sobbing. Sonic was confused. What did he do wrong? He knocked on the door, before remembering that this was Amy Rose. She never opened the door when she was upset, she just wants to be alone.

‘Well, not today!’ Sonic thought, as he broke down Amy’s door. He was going to have hell to pay, but it would be worth it. He went to her bedroom door and heard her crying. He did the same thing that he had did with Amy’s front door, and saw her face-first on the bed. He tip-toed towards her, and crawled on top of her. She looked so fragile in this state, that he just wanted to hug her sadness away.

“Ames, if you’re ready to talk, why are you crying?” Sonic gently raised her chin up and asked.

“Haven’t you wondered why I even like Sonadow fanfiction?” Amy asked her love interest. Sonic thought for a moment, and realized that not even he knew why she liked it. It was probably the most random thing she’d be into, and the ship itself was very random.

“Never really thought about it during the thirty minutes in which everything happened. It actually makes me think about it now.” Sonic told her. She wrapped her arms around his torso, which caused Sonic to stiffen. After a few moments, he began to rock her side-to-side to calm her down.

“I thought you’d never love me, so I tried to keep my mind out of reality...” She said, sniffling in between. “At first, I started reading fanfiction. I saw SonAmy fanfiction, and it broke my heart seeing it. I read Sonadow, and it still hurt, but I just couldn’t get enough of it, next thing I know, I’m writing a popular story on Fanfiction platforms and the compliments and comments I get makes me feel happy. Even though it injures my heart too much...” Amy sobbed. Sonic lowered his eyelids.

“Amy, if it’s giving you a heart-ache, then why do you still do any of that?” Sonic queried. Amy gave an emotionless chuckle.

“People say that I make them happy writing the fanfiction. They smile, and I’m happy that I make them happy. Even if it pains me to do it.” Amy smiled. (Lmao don’t worry, it doesn’t happen to me) Sonic couldn’t tell whether it was because she was happy genuinely, or her clouded, closed mind was telling her that she was happy. She clearly wouldn’t be happy if it gives her pain.

“Then stop it. It hurts you, so you should stop. You’re basically telling yourself to feel the pain.” Sonic told her while stroking her quills gently. He kissed her forehead and continued. “Start connecting with your friends and soon-to-be-boyfriend, please.” Sonic said, trying to keep a straight face as he felt her jolt up.

“When you say soon-to-be-boyfriend, do you mean, you?” Amy asked, trying her hardest not to wag her tail in excitement.

“Who else? Plus, don’t hide your tail, I wanna see it~.” Sonic lustfully whispers in her ear. She took her hands off her of her tail, letting it sway in happiness. Sonic, being a perverted, hormonal 19 year old, got an idea.

...

“SONIC! WHAT THE FUCK-” Amy squealed as Sonic actually had the nerve to pull her tail.

“I wanna see more~”

“You wanna see more?” She mused. She raised up her dress a little more...

“YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO MARRY ME IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME!” Amy exclaimed, taking Sonic off guard.

“I JUST BECAME YOUR BOYFRIEND! ONE STEP AT A TIME, AMES!” Sonic yelled back.

“SO?! IF YOU WANT THIS BODY, THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO VOW TO IT!” Amy continued. Sonic made a face.

“WELL I LOVE YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL ROSE!” Sonic unexpected shouted.

“ISN’T SCREAM THERAPY WONDERFUL?! IT MAKES YOU REVEAL YOUR THOUGHTS MUCH EASIER THAN JUST SAYING THEM! ALSO, I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Amy screamed.

“WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?!”

“ONLY IF YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND!”

“GOOD!”

“FANTASTIC!”

And they all lived happily ever after, (Eggman is in his lair fangirling with me) THE END.

#sonamy #sonamy boom #sonamy fanfics #sonamy fanfiction #sonamy stuff #fanfiction #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #lyra ze hedgie boiii #amy #amy rose #my god yes #amy is caught reading sonadow fanfiction #yes #YAS HONEY #for loafuwua #sonamy spicy~#sonamy spicy #spicy sonamy

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thechampagnelovers · 3 years

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Wayhayy I am back! It took me a bit longer, I actually tried studying yesterday and today I was at the dentist and that sucked big time and I had some late lectures so I am back a bit later than intended. It‘s 8 p.m. here now and I am still in a lecture but I just can‘t concentrate so I thought I‘d take some time to answer. :) I usually don‘t sleep very well or very healthy and I especially don‘t have a pattern, whoops. I think when I last wrote it was around 11 p.m. which isn‘t crazy late to me but it could also be I might write you when it is around 4 a.m. here. I tell you, Insomnia sucks. 😅

Did you have time for yoga today? I stretched a bit and went for a walk and my back is happy about it for sure!

I still googled the crocs hahaha and I liked the blue ones with white and red too! But I think I will stick to one colour first, get back into the flow. 😂 I mean summers is still a long way to go, so I have plenty of time to pic out outfits that will rock. I agree on the shorts tho! Crocs and shorts are a match made in heaven!

Okay it really sucks that books are expensive? I mean this is probably a dumb question but is there a certain reason why? If it is good I will find a way to send my copy to you!! 💆🏾‍♀️

I hope you enjoy your book. 🥺 is it non-fiction?

Thank you for all the recs!! I am genuinely an idiot for not thinking about the fact that these are established authors that probably have their works translated when I typed out that ask agsjskl! Funnily enough when I was younger I did read Isabel Allende. I read the book series the city of the beasts! I think I read book one and had the others on cd or something like that. It was really good! I will get back to you on those when I am done with rwrb but I screenshotted everything. Same goes for the fic recs! I will definitely come back to report what I read and how I liked it!

Did you have time for the snippets or the album trailer? If yes, what do you think? I think I will fall in love with River Road especially after I heard it in the Album trailer. 🥺 Ahh I am excited for the album! But I didn‘t really hear an upbeat sound so I guess we will have to wait for the whole songs to come out to be sure. 👀

At this point I have to scroll between all the asks we send so I don‘t forget a point haha sorry if this all messy I am also a bit tired (I was up til 5 a.m.). If I do forget something you what me to still answer please tell meeee! Hope you had a good day. x

hi nony <3 i’m happy to see u again

i’m so sorry to hear about your insomnia :( i totally get it, but rn it’s winter for you and you’re back in lockdown so don’t even bother to “fix” it becuase it’s not worth it lol, we’ve all been there too. just give yourself time, try to rest as much as you can and your body will slowly readjust, specially when winter is over. my sleeping schedules has always been all over the place but lately i’ve been waking up with sunlight bc it gives me a few hours where i can be completely alone and in peace i just m*asturbate but i appreciate it a lot when people don’t bother me lol

I just finished doing yoga when i saw this ask! i didn’t do a headstand today tho, but i’m noticing i’m slowly getting a little better at this routine i’m doing. it’s a little hard but i love it. I just wish i could remember to do the headstand! now my body cooled off so i can’t do it :/ i love to hear your back is happy <3 mine is too lol

the reason why are books so expensive is the ✨economic crisis✨ my dear friend. although the economy has more of less been constant, from 2015 to 2019 everything went down and just everything in general got so expensive lol and that’s on neoliberalism 😌 in reality, books are not that much expensive but for people who like reading and buy many books on a regular basis, it’s a lot of money, but i’ve been shopping a lot in second hand book stores and facebook marketplace is a heaven, a curse but also a heaven (i had to delete the facebook app at one point because i couldn’t stop buying books) so i guess it’s alright. and pleaseee !!! don’t worry love, you’re so nice <3

the book is fictional, although i’m reading it kinda slowly bc rn i’m hooked up on a writing rush (and the book is kinda ✨sexist✨ but i’m hoping it’s going to get somewhere, ugh remind me to never read anything by a white men again)

ohhh i haven’t read la ciudad de las bestias but it sounds so good! and i’ll love to hear your opinions soon <3

i just heard the album trailer and omg!!!! i’m claiming river road rn!!! it’s SO GOOD, i have a feeling it’s gonna be a fan favourite (and it’s a ziall song, i know it). tbh they all sound so good, really chill tho, not much upbeat so far but it’s okay because zayn does it sooooo good, he can sing anything tbh (also i love the fact that we both have the same fav songs fdjksfjkl you should drop your fav songs from ot5 and we can compare)

don’t worry about answering everything! this love letters are already too long lmao. go get some sleep!!! gn love <3

#beer nony #ask #personal

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peachy-jy · 7 years

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ye olde tag game

I was tagged by @got7peaches and I want to know if you came up with the title

(I think this was supposed to be fun and light but it ended up going to a really deep and verbose place so I’m putting it under the cut)

not tagging anyone cuz no one should have to read this lololol fml

how tall are you? 5′6″ and I’m not a fan... short people are cuter what color and style is your hair? red and long and curly what color are your eyes? they’re blue around the edges and green around the pupil and I know that sounds like a description straight out of “my immortal” but no I’m not making this up do you wear glasses or contacts? both but I prefer glasses do you wear braces? never have never will what is your fashion style? I don’t think I really have a “style.” That would require more money than I am willing to spend on clothes. But I love everything Claire wears so... if I could afford Claire’s style and pull it off I would dress like her when were you born? October 22 (burn this date in your mind) how old are you? 24 do you have any siblings? 2 brothers, one older one younger what school/college do you go to? this seems like tmi so I’ll just say I’m in nursing school (as if everyone didn’t know that already I never shut up about it) what kind of student are you? the worst. I’m that asshole who puts in 10% effort and turns in everything late and somehow still does ok what are your favorite subjects? anatomy was super fun (the human body is weird and amazing) but I think my favorite class I’ve ever taken was formal logic (it’s the satisfaction of completing mathematical equations with none of the actual math) what are your favorite shows? 30 rock, parks and rec, the office, community, scrubs... basically good sitcoms with 5+ seasons. I’m also a slut for reality tv (dance moms anyone?) and competition shows (great british bake-off what whaaat) what are your favorite movies? the one I always pick when I have to pick just one is when harry met sally but I am a huge cinephile and I have dozens of favorites so if you’re looking for a movie rec hmu what are your favorite books? my book choices are a lil outdated cuz all I read is fanfic lately lololol but old OLD faves are hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, the giver, ready player one, and the hunger games series what are your favorite past times? my favorite past time is collecting past times, getting decently good at them, and then abandoning them. I’ve taught myself to play the ukulele, painting and drawing, niche board games, pottery, baking, the basics of a few languages, and a few video games here and there. The only hobbies that I’ve done consistently for several years are knitting, watching movies (specifically going to the movie theater because you can’t beat that atmosphere tbh), and writing (mostly fanfiction; I haven’t written anything original since high school). do you have any regrets? I wish I had never gone to the second university I attended... I basically wasted three years of my life in a hick town. I was miserable but I learned a lot about myself and also a lot about people and how to not be a shitty one so I guess it wasn’t a total waste. It sure felt like it though. what is your dream job? I wish I had the self-confidence to be a fiction writer full time. If I really worked hard at developing original concepts, I think I could be pretty good at it. Plus I would never have to leave my apartment and I could wear sweatpants 24/7, which is the real dream, let’s be real would you like to get married? where? I kind of flip flop on this one... sometimes I think I’d like it but then again I’m such a loner that I think I would suck at marriage sooo... my brother says I need to find someone who is as smart as me but total shit at something I’m good at, so I can take care of them and feel needed. I don’t know that marriage necessarily needs to be involved... Plus if I ever did get married I’d prob elop or only invite my immediate family sooooo do you want kids? how many? I don’t think I’d want to create life but I’d be 100% down for adopting... then again when my celeb crushes say they want kids I’m all I VOLUNTEER so who can say do you like shopping? If I magically come into extra income then yes. If I’m on a budget, shopping for something I need is like torture. The exception is always make-up/skincare. I buy myself new make-up when I’m sad. how many countries have you visited? 7, all of them European, but one of them was just for a day so I feel like it doesn’t really count. I really want to visit some Asian countries, though. what was your scariest dream? The scariest one that comes to mind was being locked in an office building with office workers and there was a serial killer-type guy in a jigsaw mask who kept turning the lights off and abducting people one by one and disfiguring their faces. No fuckin clue where that came from tbh. I’ve never even seen Saw. do you have any enemies? I’d like to think I don’t? I try really hard to treat everyone well regardless of how they treat me because I like being liked... but honestly there are a few people who hate my guts and won’t meet me halfway to reconcile sooooo yes, I guess I do. I don’t hold it against them, though. If they ever took a moment to see things from my point of view they would realize that I never meant them any harm and I’m just a flawed person, trying my best. But apologies don’t go very far with people who like to hold grudges and feel like the world is against them, so I can’t do anything about that. do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I don’t have the energy for that. Right now, having a S/O sounds kind of terrible actually lmao they’re so much work

THIS GOT HELLA LONG I’M SORRY BLAME CLAIRE

Put your music on shuffle and list the first fifteen songs without skipping:

We Hate You Please Die - Crash and the Boys (Scott Pilgrim anyone? no? ok)

Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons (I downloaded the whole album bc I liked Radioactive but I’ve never actually listened to this song)

Green Onions - Booker T & The MG’s (idk don’t ask)

The Curse of Curves - Cute Is What We Aim For (a one hit wonder but I still know every word to this song)

All Alright - Fun.

Classic Rock Medley - The Cat’s Pajamas (a local acapella group from my high school days)

Bellas Final - the Pitch Perfect Soundtrack (ok this plus the last one is making it seem like I’m obsessed with acapella I’m really not)

East West - Herman’s Hermits (...I actually love this band don’t judge me)

Here It Goes Again - Ok Go (say what you will about the song but that video with the treadmills was iconic)

20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy

Sims Holidaze - The Sims 2 Bon Voyage (I may or may not have the entire collected Sims soundtrack on my ipod...)

Lesson 4 Pronunciation - Rosetta Stone Italian Level 3 (Remember when I was fluent in Italian? yeah me neither)

Whistle (Acoustic) -Blackpink (I like the original better)

Come So Far (Got So Far To Go) - Hairspray soundtrack (ok but this whole soundtrack is a bop I forgot I used to love this)

Mowgli’s Road - Marina & the Diamonds

What have we learned? That hitting shuffle is not at all indicative of a person’s taste in music, but instead exposes their sordid musical past.

#I just spent two hours doing this oh my god Claire you owe me #tag game #shut up jenna

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meg2md · 6 years

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I’m listening to Kanye and I’m getting hit by waaaaves and waaaaves of nostalgia from my college days when I was heavier and fatter but squatting a and benching a decent amount of weight for my size. This was back before I got injured five ways to Sunday because of my bad genetics (I’m predisposed to tendon problems) and poor self-care (read: never stretching). So here I am in my bedroom at home blasting Yeezus on my Bluetooth speaker and feeling that slight tingling in my left elbow from my lifting injury years ago as I do stupid strengthening exercises with my FlexBar that I only bought to help with the lateral epicondylosis in my other elbow. Better than nothing, I guess?

But lately I’ve been reading a lot of books about bad-ass protagonists being badass and it just really makes me want to be badass and the only way I know how to is being in the gym pushing myself as far as I’ll go. Fuck brains, I want brawn. I want to look like I lift, and more importantly, I want to be able to kick ass.

The hard part is that I’m prone to pushing myself too far. Like, to the point of getting injured. So while I technically “surpass my limitations” temporarily, I always end up worse than where I started. I do that in school and even in my hobbies - I push and push and push until I break. Last night after reading a particularly motivating couple chapters in my book, I went to the gym, hopped on the AMT, and got my heart rate up to 80-90+% of my max and kept it there the entire time - and that was the first time I’ve done dedicated cardio in months.

But I hate “half-assing” things when I get like this. It’s like, because my tunnel-vision goal is to be able to squat heavy again, doing these dumb FlexBar exercises or going to yoga or stretching (or even going to the gym and doing dumbbell goblet squats or something not as “intense” as the barbell) makes me feel like I’m wasting my time. I get into this huge “go hard or go home” mode and while it’s GREAT for getting things done and taking large steps towards my goals, it’s also fucking distracting. It’s all I could think about at work today. I was supposed to be doing my job and it was really hard to do with visualizations of me squatting 300+ lbs and looking like a warrior goddess in my head. Not that I’ll ever squat that much because of my weak-ass tendons and joints (ugh) but still

And then I want to read my book but I get sooooo side-tracked because again, I want to be that cool! I want to be that strong! I want to go out and be a hero! But instead I’m just Meg, and as stupid as it sounds, sometimes that’s really hard to reconcile. Lol. I’ve been this way since I was little, back, for example, when I was impossibly obsessed with The Lord of the Rings. Between reading the books and watching the movies a gazillion times, between writing fan-fiction and working out to “Elven Warrior”-themed playlists, I constructed these grand fantasies in my head where I was the hero. Which I know almost everyone does at some point or another, but the point is that besides just being fantasies, they totally consumed me. And while they did awesome things like get me interested in exercise and eating right, they also provided too much of an escape. Like, I didn’t fucking want to live here. I wanted to live in Middle Earth so badly it actually hurt. When I got towards the end of high school and started college, those compulsions gradually wound down until they were completely gone, and I thought it was just one of those things I’d grown out of.

But uhh, nope. Here I am, feeling these things just as strongly as when I pretended I was a beautiful, deadly half-elven warrior from Rivendell who’d ran away as a child to join a guard of Mirkwood elves and where I eventually met my soulmate Legolas, son of Thranduil

....yeah eventually I’ll simmer down, I think. and tl;dr I want to squat heavy again lmao

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