#(not-- not. not Like That. not in the nasty-ass too-online Way or whatever disgusting Assumptions that could Imply. im just a basket case.)

[spider-man-2o99]

ok i’m still On Break do not take this post as a sign that i’m like. Actively Tumblring again yet because i’m still not, 4 the most part, but i have had my ear to the ground for special interest things, of fuckign course, of course, bcuz i’m me, and i. just. i am .i’m so fucking sorry to all the new SM2099 comic fans who are only just now realizing just now how dire the straits are, here, LMAO. it has been this way for Years. earnestly and from the bottom of my heart i love spider-man 2099 so much and also nobody on the goddamn planet Cares About Him At All or can even fucking write him half-decently unless every single celestial bodie in the fucking milky way galaxy comes into perfect fucking syzygy, i think, i think, i think. why did u think we (me) had a psychotic episode after that fuckin movie dropped. fucksake. lord above. because it’s all always “ohhh being yourSELF and telling your OWN story your OWN way” until you Look A Certain Way and ARE A Certain Way and Have Symptoms That Look Frightening and Don’t Move Around Like ‘Normal’ People Should Move, fuckin’ freaky-ass creature beast-thing, and so on and so on and so on, Christ all-fuckin’-mighty. gets tiring. but. anywaygs.

it is far easier to be destructive, than constructive. so. ahem. sorry. refocusing. it seems quite simply that just yet another goddamn story missed the point that 90s future spider-man is a story about very plainly and simply loving each other as people. it’s a story about a severely depressed, miserable, cynical little man who finds new reasons to live in every kind person he meets, and there is an open earnesty to that, if nothing else, that no movie can take away 30 years later. anybody can decide to try and be a better person than the one they were yesterday, and that is goddamn important. to portray anything otherwise was an unfathomably cruel decision, on sony’s part, and as soon as we got trailer evidence that they were leaning into his more “intimidating” features back in ~dec. 2021, i.. pretty much Knew it was what they were gonna be doing with him. why wouldn’t they? i mean. who actually even cares about this obscure nobody, right? c-listers are the tried-and-true adaptational chameleons, anyways; they sure suckered in dumbasses like me, who still took blind hope in hook line and sinker, thinking he’d be important to the film, or at the very least portrayed sympathetically to his 30 years of established comic history as a character who is consciously aware that he is an adult survivor of fucking child abuse. but. c’est la fucking vie, i guess.

#talking tag #atsv #spider-man 2099 #i predicted All Of This and i am SO TIRED OF BEING RIGHT THAT I WANT TO THROW MYSELF IN2 THE SUN ABT IT :)))) #i WANTED to be wrong. /CHRIST/ i wanted to be wrong so goddamn bad #articulation isnt at its peak rn. how do i even- /bridge/ the breadth of this gap. wwoof man like. just. #i just. did yall think i started writing the dissection fic with extreme violation + dehumanization themes Just Outta Nowhere?? y/k??? #y’KNOW. haha. i am Intimately Aware firsthand with how years of it without reprieve shapes a brain over time. and. writing helps. #hhahaha. lord. id just go back 2 how i was Raised if i wanted 2 Constantly Hear so many ppl talkin abt how much they want evry Like-Me dead #(not-- not. not Like That. not in the nasty-ass too-online Way or whatever disgusting Assumptions that could Imply. im just a basket case.) #chroist. #not even . not even getting into the whole ‘also comic sm2099 is canonically staunchly anti-cop yet movieboy is weirdly fashy’ Thing. #i already Have a migraine im NOT getting into that right now #(holding back tears) wwelp looks like these next Seven Years Of Terrible Public Perception r gonna b long and suck so bad :)) #ok goodbye again now im going back to frolicking morosely in the Fields . be safe drink some water be kind to urself and others. mwah.

[artsyarchangel-blog]

Gunbreaker

So i read a lot of light novels these days and so i decided to write something in a similar style. It's mostly meant to be a learning experience, purely for fun. Try to see it as that, or don't, not that it matters. The plan is to publish something every month, gradually it will become bigger and bigger. This is the idea at least. I won't really talk about the subject of this Web-Novel, see for yourself. It contains some mature content though and will gradually ramp up in that regard. 

But enough of that, just enjoy the little something i’ve written up here.

Chapter 1: Days of Justice 1 Life can be so terribly dull, so very uneventful. Going through the motions, following the daily grind it's easy to just shut off your mind and do whatever you are told. A chosen few will come to detest this truth, but only the smallest number will successfully rebel against it, without being crushed into submission. But some events make you appreciate just how easy life actually is. Events like a sudden shootout, when you find yourself surrounded by maimed corpses, blood splattered all over you in merely a second. Yes, an event like this might cure these childish thoughts of rebellion,of changing the world, but for me, they were awakened. All i felt was uncontrollable rage, like a wild beast unleashed on this world. Not that it mattered, i was only lucky to survive the first barrage and the next one would surely extinguish my life. If it wasn't for the girl, that is. I don't think i ever thanked her for that... The faint blue color of the screen was the only light source in my small room, as i chugged down another can of my valuable energy-drink. Well listen, my allowance was really small at the time and those stupid cans were expensive as hell, it's not like i had an addiction. Anyway, it was another all-nighter for me, watching my favourite shows or playing games together with a few slackers called my friends. I had school tomorrow, but what of it, this useless educational system could go straight to hell for all I cared. Still gonna go in the morning, of course, otherwise my mom would yell at me. Didn't matter, I just slept in class, you could say I mastered this technique over time. No one ever noticed. Because the teachers are stupid, completely retarded. I spent many a night like this, wasting away, basically doing nothing but diminish the energy to actually achieve something in my life. I was 15 though, gimme a break, okay? Now this night, though, this night was special and in many ways it shaped my whole future. As I browsed through meaningless videos, funny threads filled with smart people (who always seemed so much more clever than my dumb teachers) and, of course, I left my own comments, receiving praise in the thousands, by my fellow internet brethren. What joy, I felt elevated, but this happened regularly, so that is not what I am talking about. No, the night was made special the moment I opened another video titled “The truth of the wastelands”. The footage showed a small village, utterly ruined, smoke rose from the roofs while armored vehicles moved into the frame, spilling heavily-armed soldiers out of their guts. Now mind you, this is the first time I laid eyes on supposedly real firearms and it was also the first time I saw a human being die. They rushed into a hut, one of the few unscathed by what could only be an artillery-strike and dragged out a few people, bearing all the qualifications of a family. And then they just shot them, one after the other. There wasn't any sound and the footage wasn't of the highest quality, but the way the bodies, former humans, jerked after having a gun put to their head, made me sick to my stomach. Just then, the screen faded to black, showing only my reflection and my disgusted face. A message spread across the screen:”This video was taken in one of the rural areas surrounding our walled cities. This world is not safe, this world is not peaceful and we do not live in prosperity. They are lying to you. They keep you safe in your cages while they do as they please.” The message was signed by a group named “Hermes”, their logo a pair of red winged sandals on a black background. I never heard of them before, yet I felt like they were right, like they had something to say that needed to be said. Outside of the cities, such horrific crimes took place? Could it be? How was I unaware of that, how was everyone unaware of that? As I read through the comments, I slowly started to understand: “This looks fake.” “lol, take off your tinfoil-hats!” “who are these guys anyway?” “wow, nasty, they just popped her head, lmfao” “Is this real? Then someone should change this! Actually, screw that, I want to change this, I am so mad right now!!” The last message belonged to me, my true feelings, written down by a 15-year-old highschooler. Even today it makes me chuckle and before I could receive any reaction on my comment, the video was gone. I refreshed the page, there was nothing, just the error message. Now I could have just forgotten about it, there were a million reasons why this video got deleted. Maybe it violated the guide-lines of this website, maybe the contents were stolen from someone else, maybe it actually was fake and the administrator tried to prevent the spreading of such bullshit. Or maybe it was all a grand conspiracy and the government themselves deleted the video, to cover up their crimes! You are free to guess what was most plausible in my mind there. Now let me say something to my defense though, it wasn't actually that outlandish. It was like an open secret that you can not leave our five major cities. If you were born in one, you were going to die in this same metropolis. It was commonly known, obviously, nobody could cover up the fact, that the mainland of our planet was a hellish landscape, unfit to any human life. Yet people lived there, apparently and maybe seeing that triggered this anger in me, this self-righteous justice. Everyone else was just lying to themselves, because they weren't the one on gunpoint, they were safe and only later, I understood them. That it was easier this way. You were simply happier and fighting it was futile, you tried to climb a mountain without any limbs. But back then, I didn't see it that way in my youthful recklessness. Ultimately, it really didn't matter anyway. I was helpless, there was nothing I could do to help those poor people living outside the safe zones. There was nothing to be found online, I searched every nook and cranny, stumbling over baseless rumors.  One suggested that Hermes was actually the government themselves, luring in stupid teenagers and offing them once they got their personal information. I also met at least a dozen people claiming to be Hermes, but that soon proved to be just trolling. There was nothing left and it depressed me a little, I became distant to my friends, I never replied to their requests to play some games, I was obsessed with that video. How their bodies went limb, how they were meaninglessly slaughtered. Now that was my own interpretation of the scenes, for all I know this family could have been a band of mass murderers and the armed forces only exacted revenge, but in my conviction, I had to save innocent lives. Me, a failure of a student, with no exceptional intelligence to speak of. Really, if Hermes had any sense, they'd tell me to leave as soon as I made contact. Instead, after a week of frantic searches, asking around online, I received a message: “We witnessed your resolve, brother. If you still want to bring the deserved peace to this world, then join us.” 2 Embedded in this simple message was a link. The logical assumption would be that this would either lead me to some fucked up porn or a virus, ready to just disintegrate my entire system. Naturally, I clicked it without a moments hesitation. Nothing bad happened against all odds, instead I found myself in some chat room. They really were serious with me! There was no members-list, no previous message, radio-silence. I felt like I stepped into a hall of heroes, onto the round table itself, only virtually of course. My real scrawny body was still hunched over the keyboard, not knowing what to say, what message I could write. Really, I blacked out completely, I didn't even know a simple online-chat room could feel so awkward, yet here I was, frozen stiff. I typed  a simple “hello” and deleted it before I could send it. Then I wrote some eight-grader nonsense of justice and prophecies and thankfully deleted that too. I have enough cringy memories, I didn't need that one...on further thought, does one more on the huge pile really matter? Only then, he finally broke the silence: HERMES: So you want to change our fate, breaking free, destroying the influence of the five Warlords? Tell me, brother, what motivates your actions? Why do you want to join our justice? Yeah, turns out this guy was as much of a child as I was. Of course I replied enthusiastically, but at this point I  had no screen-name yet. I thought long and hard about my answer, actually only a minute, I didn't want them to think I just left. ANON: I saw the video you guys published a few days ago and since then, I simply cannot stand by while innocent lives are erased. Please let my join in your noble cause, my brothers, in your pursuit of liberation! I don't know what to say here... I could practically feel how the people on the other side of the screen laughed their asses off...is what I want to say, but in reality, I felt pretty damn proud after my convincing answer. HERMES: Very well. A good answer. Yet we see that you are still unrefined, without a strict direction. Without a plan to actually achieve our ends. Fret not, we are here to guide you in your path, but you have to take action yourself, just as you did before we found you. HERMES: Are you capable of doing that? This is your trial, identify who is responsible for these crimes, we will contact you in another week. And just like that, I was back on my homepage, unsure of what to do. The culprit? The person who is responsible? Or was this about an idea, the motive behind these actions? Come to think of it, why would they turn our planet into an unruly land, where only the strongest survive and the laws are made at the muzzle of a gun? What could be the meaning of this? I had to mull it over and most importantly I could not disappoint these internet-warriors. For all I knew they were just kids, maybe not even a group, some teenager who knew a little more about computers and managed to abuse a security-leak. There was absolutely no guarantee that Hermes was the real thing. It's just that it didn't even matter to me. I was just happy to escape my boring life, to have a sense of purpose so many teenagers are missing.  A feeling of superiority filled my very being, I was better than all these blind idiots, lying to themselves just to preserve their peaceful lives. This would all change, I'd fight to birth a new world. Or at least I was about to. 3 The following days I did nothing but research, I even skipped school, coming up with an excuse how terribly sick I am. Maybe I laid it on a little thick, my mother almost send me to the hospital, but the end-result was me sitting in front of my computer-screen, looking up everything I could think of. Some things I looked into were common knowledge, that every one of our five cities were independent states, governed by a prime minister and that there was a big conference every four years. This already struck me as odd, were they allowed to leave the cities? And wasn't it a little to convenient, five cities for five warlords? Surely there must be some sort of conspiracy on a government-level so I dug deeper, I needed to know everything of our administration down to the districtional plane. Needless to say, I found nothing and that in itself was weird. You'd expect a bunch of theories online, some baseless rumors, some insane people dedicating everything to bring some shocking truths to light, even if there is no proof. Hermes wasn't much different, after all. However, I found nothing, like the entire network was curated by some unknown source. It was scary, I seriously considered giving up, who knows what they would do to me... if they could track me. Well, I had a lot of countermeasures against that, at least I thought I did. Hacking or cracking, these were never skills I acquired, so I just relied on some tutorials to set up an impregnable barrier. Feeling safe like that, I naturally continued, but I couldn't shake this bad feeling. The only information I could gather out of direct conversations, groups similar to Hermes, just not as influential or effective. Cause when I mentioned the group, everyone held their breath, metaphorically of course. For the first time, I heard of their reputation, how they brought down the website of the government, putting their logo across the entire screen whenever you tried to access it or how their leader escaped multiple raids on his home-base, injuring the special forces in the process. I never even knew our police had a special force! It was awe-inspiring to me and more than ever, I wanted to be a part of this organization. Again, there was no proof for any of this, only my faith. Surely nobody would do such a terrible thing, just telling lies on the internet. So while I did acquire some information, true or false, no matter, I didn't really feel like inching closer to my goal. What was the reason, how could I find out? In the end I even pinned everything I found on a board in my room, feeling like some kind of TV-Detective. If my parents caught me, they might have send me to the therapist, but luckily they never entered my room without knocking first...for both our sakes. I put down all kind of names, organizations, looking for a link that shouldn't be there, evidence for some sketchy business. The video flared back into my mind, how all life left the body of this innocent woman, but it wasn't just about that, not just a reminder for the injustice I vowed to destroy. No, I looked for something, an emblem, a badge on the soldiers, maybe a number on their weapons, anything I could use. Hermes gave me nothing, our exchange took maybe five minutes, then they send me on my way, to prove myself, but what did they expect? How could a student figure this out, if no one else could? Nobody knew why we lived confined in these cities, nor when it even began. It was lost to history, maybe all accounts of a time before the metropolis were deleted, maybe destroyed in some kind of catastrophe. This was the most likely scenario, that nobody meant for this to happen, just some natural disaster scorching the earth. But if that was the case, Hermes wouldn't fight against...against someone. Who was it, I had to know! The five Warlords, yes, I remembered, but who are they? The deadline was drawing near, tomorrow, at night most likely, they would expect my answer. No sleep was found this night, not until I could come up with something, anything. The most embarrassing thing would happen if I just had no answer at all, if I'd just stay silent. Or spout some generic shit, like “The government” or “the Banks, they are responsible for our misery”. I could not let it end here! So I stayed up all night thinking about it, I continued to rack my brain in the morning, eventually, I couldn't go on any longer and just fell asleep on my desk. The sound of a notification woke me up and there it was, another message. It didn't say anything, which did nothing to ease my nervousness, only provided a link again. The sender was clear though, so there was no doubt, Hermes contacted me just like they said they would. But I still had no answer. Regardless, I had to dive in, of course, always thinking about this video. It was the only definite hint that I had, so the answer had to be in there. Who is behind all of it, what is the reason for the sorry state of our planet?  The reason...wait, it could be so simple! HERMES: Now then, Initiate. Did you find the solution to our query? I hesitated, I wasn't sure, it might be too simple, it might even be idiotic. It was all I had, however. With trembling fingers, I hammered my answer into the keys. ANON: The reason these crimes are possible, the true culprit...is the weaponry used by men. This was my answer, this was my solution. I had to wait a while for a response and every second served only to make me more anxious. HERMES:...Weaponry. Very well! This is the first  time we heard this answer, yet it strikes closest to the truth, well done! Now let us show you the true works behind our government, our true leaders. Let us talk about the five Warlords.        

#creative writing #light novel #web novel #learning #gunbreaker #chapter1 #part1