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#...I still really like the idea of a coelacanth dress
astrellium · 2 years
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Need a kick in the ass to either complete the dress I already have mostly finished (even though I’ll have to redo a bunch of work uggh) or to work on sketches for the other clothes I’m going to make for the ren faire
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quibbs126 · 1 year
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So earlier, @valentinbelleyh505 asked me for a Timekeeper/Black Pearl kid. It was my most recent ask so it’d probably be a few weeks before I got to it, but my brain started thinking of ideas for it already. I came up with Primordial Sea Cookie here, but in my head she was too much like a fusion of the two instead of a fankid, so I just thought “eh, make her a fusion”. But then as my brain was developing her more, and she was less a fusion, but she wasn’t so much a fankid, so I decided to make Primordial Sea her own character
Funny enough, I ended up basing her design mostly on Black Pearl and Longan. Her fish half is supposed to be based on a coelacanth, since they’re like the longest surviving fish species or something (or are they the longest lived? I don’t remember). I wanted her hair to fade to white as a way to represent time turning back so far into nothingness, which would probably be white, since that’s the absence of color. It’s supposed to be like, floating and constantly flowing, sort of like Moonlight’s hair
I feel like her design looks too plain, but that’s probably because I used relatively neutral tones, given she’s supposed to be ancient. Not an Ancient Cookie, she’s a Legendary, but I mean she’s really old
Oh wait I remember, her dress was supposed to fade to transparent! Ah well, I can maybe fix that at some point
But anyways, on to Primordial Sea herself. So her whole thing is that she wants to return the world to back when it was just the seas, and she has the power to do so. I wasn’t sure if it would be via flooding the world, or turning back time, but I think I’m going the time angle. Basically she’d be reversing the time in all of the world. Sort of like Made in Heaven in Jojo part 6, but in reverse (I’ve only read the manga, so I don’t know what it looks like in the anime). But the Cookies would all stay the same, only the world around them, and maybe the animals? I don’t know, but the Cookies need to stay unaffected so that the story can happen and Primordial Sea can be stopped. I imagine in the levels, you’d see the time being reversed, like we’re in ruins and they’re turning pristine, then all disappearing as it’s reverting to before it was built.
Maybe I can still use Primordial Sea as a basis for the fankid, but it’d be like, a possible alternate future for them to turn into Primordial Sea.
But yeah, I think that’s about it for her. Hope you like her!
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bignookling · 4 years
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100 days to acnh challenge - 1 to 74
found this challenge and decided it would be a great way to pass the time until the release date, and a good way to get people to know me a lil better too c’: i feel so powerful starting at this point, there are so few days left to wait! 
1. Do you prefer making up a new name for your villager, or using your own name? i never, ever used my own name... i always felt like this would be boring, and i kinda want to give myself the opportunity to create a new “character” based on the events that happen to them in the game... (my first character in wild world was named Scarlet :^)) 2. Do you use the first map you’re given, or do you reset for layouts? i am bige resetter with bige plans all jokes aside i am way too indecisive and spent way too much time on this, i would even check people’s dream towns prior to resetting to gather ideas and fresh input on this. though usually, each time i remade my town i had a specific kind of map in mind? most of all, i like having a secluded nice little corner to put my house (being able to move your house in nh is a game changer honestly!) grass type and colors of buildings also matter. residents not so much because, hey, i can also reset for that later! (i am terrible) 3. Do you use the face you’re given, or do you wait for guides and choose your favourite? similarly, i use a guide. i think the only times i didn’t was my first times in wild world where i didn’t really have access to a fast internet connection :’^) (guess what i am also indecisive about this! my most used are the classic arched villager eyes, the almond shaped ones and the shiny anime ones THEY ARE TOO CUTE) 4. Favourite town/island name?/Have you a name picked out for your town/island? I WON’T SAY YET... i have multiple options for now and idk what to do... but my nl town is named Suzuran, and i really like this name :] 5. Will you be sharing with friends/family, or is your island going to be all your own? probably gonna be my own! my mother used to have a character in my wild world town though :) 6. What’s a new feature you’re excited about? ALL but mostly the terraforming/switching everything up options!! for...reasons mentioned above... also the weeds. i never really got to dupe clovers or stuff like that so i am very pumped 7. Favourite fruit? buttfruit peaches probably... i also love perfect oranges and perfect pears because they’re like golden... i like gold like perfect fruits in general hehe i also love the new fruits in new leaf! 8. Least favourite fruit? apples are a bit tacky to me but i still love them i am sad i cannot really make a lot of fruit trees work in my minimally colored nl towns... some people do it so well though and i am TRYING 9.  Favourite area? (Beach, campground, shopping district etc, from any entry in the series.) THIS IS HARD I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MEMORIES i have fond memories of the beach in wild world just because of some people’s really pretty hacked towns. like they added a whole “manor” (big player house) in front of it and that was the bomb. i also loved the cliffs in city folk and am so glad they are back... 10. Where do you like to like to put your house? Do you like that level of customization, or do you prefer to have some things decided, like in older entries? as i said i like secluded, remote areas for the house, and i also loved to put it near the cliff in city folk! (you better be fully awake if you step out)  the beach is a neat option too. but in nl my favorite was next to a waterfall! 11.  Favourite grass pattern? triangles! when i was a kid it was my least fav and i always avoided it though... then i visited a friend’s cf town and was like “wait this is MORE LIKE REAL GRASS” and i had an awakening...  12. Least favourite grass pattern? circles are a bit... odd for grass i think 13. Favourite villager/s? purrl was my absolute queen when i played wild world and still is. i love cats in general... and deer. and coco. coco is so my aesthetic and goals for a town feeling if you know what i mean, i adore her. doyoing 14. Least favourite villager/s? i am basic and like cute things so the least cute and mostly most tacky, bright colored ones... i am sorry...i still care about all your villagers 15. Did you like doing Tom Nook’s chores, or did you find those to be a pain? generally speaking i like them when i first play the game because they are immersive and kinda introduce you to the main concepts of the game? (the city in city folk, being mayor in nl etc) but with side characters and resetting they get a bit repetitive and frustrating upping your reputation to be able to work as a mayor in nl also is a pain 16. Favourite NPC/s? label is my queen and wife. i love her sisters too, and tom nook... BLANCA too i adored her when i played wild world and couldn’t get to see her in my town and was so hyped for her nl event laughs, and joan and daisy mae... i’m probably forgetting some faves I LOVE EVERYONE wait KAPPN has cute dialogue too!  17. Least favourite NPC/s? is there one? i don’t know? i’m gonna go check a list of npcs now ... i am back and honestly I DON’T KNOW 18. Do you use paths? Are you excited about the new path tool? i don’t use paths in my town because they are a mess to set up and i love the natural look anyway, but some people do it so well! i love the ones with natural colors and the little details.  the new path tool looks so convenient, but i don’t know if i like the textures! i’ll probably use it sparsely because i also wanna keep that wild look to my town 19. Favourite feature from an older entry?  the lights on the villagers’ houses in wild world is what came to mind first, hahah 20. What was your first Animal Crossing game? WILD WORLD!! i played it so much and for so long 21. Favourite activity (fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, other)? bug catching (ca-ching) is my fave out of this list, i also love visiting dream towns and playing with friends in general! 22. Least favourite activity? diving is so slow... 23. Favourite bug? the huge butterflies you see in summer (i was AMAZED when i first saw them), the fireflies (SAME, the first time i saw some was in someone else’s town in city folk as we crossed a bridge and it was just magical, laughs), and the big shiny beetles... it’s not just for the monies, i promise 24. Least favourite bug? either the small butterflies that you see everywhere when you’re trying to catch something neat for the bug-off, or the tarentulas/scorpios because i NEVER MANAGED TO CATCH THEM 25. A quarter of the way there! How’s the wait? actually there’s barely a month remaining as we speak, so pretty fine! i still have to pick my character and town names, and to be honest i am mostly worried i’ll start procrastinating like crazy once the game is out. coughs. at least i’ll draw ac characters? 26.  Favourite fish? i love coelacanths because i am a big nerd, also the sharks and the cute colorful fishes 27.  Least favourite fish? just all the most common ones probably? sea bass isn’t the only one... 28.  Favourite fossil?  what are these questions. uh, i loved putting the small squares ones in my room in wild world...especially ammonites 29.  Least favourite fossil? the ones that bring less cash money? i only care about fossils when they’re displayed in the museum tbh. and there i just love them all 30. Favourite furniture series? the ranch series looked way better in wild world and i am mourning now i love alpine, rococo and modern wood the most! the green one looks cool recolored too! i like combining different series the most, too 31. Least favourite furniture series? anything bright and tacky (except maybe the lovely that’s still fairly cute?)  32. Favourite soundtrack? (Gamecube, DS/Wii, etc) i can’t remember but i get huge pangs of nostalgia if i listen to the wild world/city folk one 33. Least favourite soundtrack? i DON’T KNOW... maybe nl was a bit less whismical? 34. Favourite wallpaper? alpine, chic, exquisite, classic, [...] anything that looks warm and natural and makes for a comfortable house!  35. Do you have a nice memory of the games/community etc you’d like to share? when i was a young teen, i idolized someone in the wild world community because her town was honestly incredibly pretty? so much thought has been put into it and it was just a dream. it made me want to invest more time and planning into my own towns and that’s how i got really, really hooked on the game, i think 36. Least favourite wallpaper? anything really colorful and tacky again... 37.  Favourite carpet? the wood ones, mostly! 39. Favourite furniture item? i love the oven thing from pocket camp... and the rocking chair... and the fireplace... 40. Will you be buying a Switch for Animal Crossing, or do you already have one? i have preordered the animal crossing one... i live for this (i am so glad i waited though honestly) 41. Least favourite furniture item? the huge tacky things or things that just look odd in a house perhaps... wait but i still like to see them and some people use them so well. why would i hate on furniture i wonder 42. Favourite flower? jacob’s ladders and white flowers in general. i adore the look of the ones in nh, holy sh- 43. Least favourite flower? pretty much anything that’s yellow. just never goes with my town plans... the roses especially are so bright i’m 44. Favourite hybrid? i miss the colors of the ones in ww/cf so much... so so much but in general i like anything that’s purple, black or blue i think :> 45. Least favourite hybrid? hmmmm the orange ones from new leaf i think? in the previous games they were so rich and warm though... 46. Favourite shirt? the canary shirt, maybe? though i mostly use qr codes, ahaha some of these outfits are still super cute... 47. Favourite dress? anything pocket camp tends to be good, also this one forever in my heart. i adore the flowery sleeveless dresses too! 48. Favourite accessory? bandages, heart shades, leaf, and tortoise specs! 49. Favourite hat/helmet? celeste’s ribbon, hibiscus hairpin, and that tiny straw hat 51. Favourite shop? i always adored able sisters, and leif’s little gardening shack :> 52. Do you collect amiibo cards/figures? Would you like to see them used in the new game? we know they are compatible now, but i don’t have any! maybe i should buy some? 53. Fishing Tourney or Bug-Off? bug-off is quicker and funnier >:] also i remember i ALWAYS WON in cf while playing with friends... fight me... 54. Do you like making your own clothing patterns? there are so many nice ones already that my slots are always full, so i don’t bother... i remember making a two-toned shirt that i wanted irl when i got new leaf, but that’s pretty much all 55. Did you streetpass with many other ACNL players, or is it a feature you didn’t get much use of? I ALMOST NEVER DID...
56. Favourite villager species? CATS... also, deer. basic basic 57. Least favourite villager species? mice and monkeys have the least cute designs i think...? also hamsters idk. i don’t know i like villagers don’t make me choose 58. Favourite nickname from a villager? 59. Least favourite nickname from a villager? I NEVER LET THEM NICKNAME ME... i am sorry to all the aminals 60. Do you try to collect everything in the game, or just try to get your favourite bits and pieces? in wild world i tried to fill my catalog, but now i only get what i need or what i know my friends might need 61. Favourite villager personality? i always had a thing for the snooty and cranky ones! the uchis are cool now too 62. Least favourite villager personality? the jocks are boring to me and they tend to have my least fav designs. when i like one i keep them though because it is so rare...wheeps 63. Do you “plot reset” for villager house placement, or do you let them move in wherever they want? i only really started doing that with the welcome amiibo update that apparently makes it easier, else i just waited for the annoying ones to move... (and time travelled a lot) 64. Are you excited to wear any of the new accessories (like the bags etc shown in the E3 trailer)? i will COLLECT THOSE and COLOR COORDINATE 65. What season are you most looking forward to seeing in New Horizons? 66. What’s your favourite season? i think summer, i want to hear the cicadas and see the fireflies again, and i also want to see how the rain and wind look like! i remember seeing really pretty storms in nl during summer too ♥ 67. Least favourite season? winter gets slow after a while? i still love it though 68. Which game’s events/holidays do you like the most? 69. Which game’s events/holidays do you like least? i don’t remember ‘-’ honestly i feel like i liked them all for different reasons? wild world felt more “involved” in the community, REMEMBER THE GARDENING CONTESTS! and city folk gave you better rewards and was a fun minigame for the day.  70. Do you have another nice AC related memory you’d like to share (in-game, of the community, etc)? i had a vivid dream that your character could DIE in animal crossing once (i predicted new horizons yes) 71. Do you prefer the “live” versions of K.K. Slider’s Songs, or the airchecks? i tend to prefer the airchecks but the concerts are Special, no matter if it’s with friends or alone 72. An NPC you’d like to see more of? mmmnnh blanca always. i love her spirit 73. An NPC you’d like to see less of? really unpopular opinion probably but i wouldn’t miss reese and cyrus too much if they aren’t as present in nh 74. If you could have any piece of AC merchandise, which would it be? the plushies are so good... i’d like like... a fauna one... idk WHEW I’M DONE... i’ll be posting the rest of it daily now! 
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mackinmacki · 6 years
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Designer Flaw
Rating: K+
Word Count: 3325
Summary: Kanan gets ready for a first date with Dia, featuring Mari making Kanan take her advice.
Pairing: KanaDia
Notes: Happy birthday, Kanan!
Links: (FFN) | (AO3)
"So, what do you think?" Kanan came out of the closet, a proud look on her face. Mari, on the other hand, was immediately scrutinizing her, looking her up and down.
"Hmm... Kanan, do you take constructive criticism?"
"Sure. Lay it on me."
"Your outfit is ugly."
"That's not constructive." Kanan sighed, dropping down to the floor. This was getting hopeless. Every time she came out in a new outfit, Mari shot it down in no uncertain terms. At this rate, she was going to run out of outfits. "What's wrong with it this time?"
"For starters, wearing a shirt with fish on it on a first date is a big no-no. You look like a walking aquarium. Where did you even get sky blue jeans anyway?"
"They were on sale."
"There was a reason for that." Mari sighed and clicked her tongue, stepping over Kanan and walking into her closet. She began to browse the rest of the outfits, wondering why she let Kanan have a choice in the matter for this long anyway. "Islander shirts, tie dye shirts... Hmm, really Kanan? Underwear with dolphins on them?"
"Stop looking through my underwear drawer!" Kanan snatched the underwear out of Mari's hands and threw it back into the drawer, thoroughly embarrassed. "How can there not be a single outfit in here that you approve of? Even though I'm going on a date with Dia, not you."
"That's the thing, Kanan! Dia is a highly fashionable person. Like myself I might add." Mari always seemed so haughty when she talked about fashion. "What if I hadn't been here and you'd gone on that date in those ugly green overalls and those, those... things?" She pointed derisively at a pair of crocs next to Kanan's feet. "I couldn't ever admit to anyone that we were friends again."
"You're overreacting, Mari. I doubt Dia is as picky about clothes as you are. Besides, there's nothing wrong with crocs!"
"They went out of style the moment they were conceptualized." Mari kept going through Kanan's clothing, desperate to find anything at this point to prove that Kanan didn't shop with her eyes closed. "I'm going to burn all these clothes, okay? Starting with your clown pants."
"Don't you dare." Kanan narrowed her eyes, unsure if Mari was being serious or not. Sometimes it was hard to tell. "If you do that, I won't have anything to wear!"
"That actually might be a good idea. Just go naked. I'd bet she'd like that."
"Mari!" Kanan blushed and hid her face in her hands. She was regretting asking Mari for help with getting ready for her date. This wasn't worth the advice she might end up getting. She just wanted to look good and impress Dia on their first date. Dia was so beautiful and regal, somehow so much above her despite the fact that they lived in the same town. Still, she figured there was at least one outfit that would be good enough. Apparently nothing was good enough for Mari's ridiculously high standards.
"You know what? This is useless. There's not going to be anything acceptable in here." Mari stepped out of the closet and dramatically slammed the door shut, barely missing Kanan's foot. "We're going to go shopping, and since I'm such a nice, wonderful friend, I'll pay for the perfect outfit for you."
"You don't have to do that-"
"The money's nothing to me. I'm more loaded than an uzi. Now come on. Put on some real shoes and let's go shopping!"
"Alright, alright... Are you trying to say I shouldn't wear the crocs?"
"You shouldn't wear the crocs... or the uggs. Don't you dare put those on either."
"Why are we going into this store, Mari? They only sell suits."
"Because you'd look good in a suit, dummy. Dia won't be able to keep her eyes off of you." That did sound appealing... Kanan sighed and followed Mari's whims, deciding that it couldn't hurt to at least try on a suit or two. Besides, Mari was paying, so it wouldn't be her wallet taking the hit.
"Okay, so this one looks good... And this one. Oh, this will be nice!" Mari began to throw multiple outfits at Kanan, who caught all of them before they hit the ground. By the time Mari was done, Kanan could feel the weight of the clothes in her arms.
"Is all this really necessary? I don't want to have to try on all of these."
"Like you've got better things to do." Mari began pushing on Kanan's back, guiding her towards the changing rooms. "Come on, go in there and let's see what you got!"
"Alright, alright!" Kanan stepped forward, away from Mari's pushy hands and into the changing rooms. She made sure to lock the door before dropping all the suits unceremoniously on the floor. "Well, might as well get this started..."
One by one, she changed into each outfit Mari had given her, looking herself over in the mirror. She felt out of place in such fancy clothing, but if Dia might like it, then she could give it a shot. The biggest issue was with the tie. She had no idea why Mari thought she should wear a tie, and she had no idea how to tie it. Though she tried, it ended up in a strange knot that she wasn't able to remove.
"Uh, Mari? I'm having trouble with the tie."
"Unlock the door and let me in, then." Kanan did so, with Mari whistling appreciatively upon entering. "Woah mama, you look fi-i-ine!" Kanan rolled her eyes and pointed to the tie, which Mari stared at in disbelief. "How did you even do that?"
"I don't know! Can you please untie it? I can't wear this on my date!"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Mama Mari's gonna take care of it." With deft hands, she undid the knot that Kanan had accidentally created without any problems at all. "Tada!"
"Thanks, Mari... But please don't call yourself 'Mama Mari' ever again."
"No promises." Wrapping the tie back around Kanan's neck, she tied it perfectly, letting it rest comfortably against Kanan's chest. "That's perfect! You look so dashing, Kanan! Dia will be swooning for sure!"
"You really think so?" She looked herself over in the mirror, playing with the collar of her suit. She started to imagine being on that date, and having Dia unable to keep her eyes off of her. The thoughts made her smile, as well as made her cheeks turn pink. "Then we should buy this then, right?"
"Esattamente!" Mari clapped Kanan on the shoulder, scooping up the rest of the clothing and carrying it out of the changing room. "Now get changed back into your regular clothes. We've got a suit to buy!" Kanan quickly changed back into her regular clothes once the door was closed, carefully putting the outfit she had chosen back on its hangers and carrying it outside. Mari was standing just outside with a smile, the pile of clothing left haphazardly on the waiting bench.
"Mari, you can't just leave all those clothes there..."
"If you pay for the suit, I'll put them all back."
"... Never mind."
"So are you sure you don't want me to hide at another table while you're on your date? You can just say the earpiece is a hearing aid. I'm sure she'd buy that."
"I would rather you didn't do that." She was not about to have things become super awkward when Mari's cover was inevitably blown. She'd seen that one Spongebob episode enough times to know what would happen. Besides, she was sort of miffed that Mari didn't think she could do this on her own. "I'm perfectly capable of having a good date without your help."
"You say that, yet you were going to wear overalls like some kind of lime farmer. I don't know if I trust your judgement about yourself. You know, I don't even have to be there physically. I can use a drone-"
"I think we're good." Like that was going to be any better. "Thanks for the advice, Mari. The good advice, anyway. I'm going to go pick her up and take her to dinner now."
"Remember what I told you! Don't talk about dolphin mating rituals until the third date!" Blushing, Kanan left Mari's hotel and went into the parking lot to start up her truck. She wasn't going to talk about dolphin mating rituals anyway... Coelacanths, on the other hand...
She drove to the Kurosawa household, parking by the house and grabbing the flowers she had on the passenger seat. She'd had to argue with Mari about that, since Mari felt that a bouquet of diamonds would be a better thing to give to Dia. While she couldn't argue with that, she could argue that it was stupidly expensive and even a bit tacky. Mari was offended that Kanan of all people dared to call one of her ideas tacky, but she was adamant against the idea. That was one of the only things she'd gotten to choose for herself that day.
She knocked on the front door and waited, flowers in hand. Normally she wouldn't be so nervous, but this was her first-ever date, and she wanted it to go well. She wiped the sweat forming on her forehead, noticing that her hand was shaking. Curling it into a fist only made her seem angry, so she shoved it in her pocket and hoped that wasn't too informal. Then the door opened, and there stood Dia in all her gorgeous glory.
The dress she was wearing was red and modest, yet still screamed her beauty to the world. It hugged her just right, and Kanan found it hard to take her eyes off of her. "Good evening, Kanan. Are those flowers for me?" Thank God for Dia saying something, or she might've stood there gawking all night.
"Uh, yes, they are." She held them out to Dia, who took them with a soft smile.
"Thank you. They're beautiful. Do you mind if I put them in a vase before we go? You can come inside if you'd like." Kanan nodded, stepping inside with Dia's permission. Dia then left the entranceway to find a vase, leaving Kanan alone to check out the interior. Even with the small amount of the house she could see, she could tell that the Kurosawas were rich. It was a more regal richness, though. Different from Mari's way of doing things.
"U-Uh, Kanan?" Kanan jumped at the surprised voice, wondering if Dia had circled around to come back out from a different angle. But when she turned around, it was only Ruby. She breathed a sigh of relief, smiling at Dia's younger sister.
"Heya Ruby. Hope you don't mind me stealing your sister for the night."
"I-I don't mind." Ruby giggled, then looked up at Kanan with a surprisingly serious expression. "U-Uh, so..." She looked around, as if trying to make sure Dia wasn't in earshot. "S-Sis really wants you to kiss her, s-so kiss her before the date ends!"
"Wha-" But Ruby scurried away before she could inquire further, leaving Kanan confused. Dia wanted her to kiss her? Really? Woah... She was still trying to process that information, not even realizing that Dia had returned.
"Is something wrong, Kanan?" That snapped Kanan out of it. She turned to Dia, smiling sheepishly.
"No, not at all. Shall we go?" Dia nodded, then Kanan allowed her to leave the house first before following her down to the truck. She opened the passenger door for Dia like a proper gentleman, turning back to look at the Kurosawa household as Dia got inside the truck. Ruby was at the window, waving at Kanan. She gave a quick thumbs up, then ducked down to avoid being seen.
Kanan worried that everybody's expectations were going to weigh her down. She closed the passenger door and took a deep breath as she walked around to the driver's side. It was important for her to remain calm, or otherwise she'd say something stupid. She got into the truck and started to drive towards the big city, where they had a reservation for a fancy restaurant - again with Mari's help. There'd been one thing she'd at least been able to think of herself before Mari came up with it: music. She knew how much Dia loved idol music, so she got Mari to burn her a CD of Muse music that Dia would like.
"You don't have to play music just because I like it, you know?" Dia smiled, which made Kanan's heart thump a bit erratically. How could one girl be so beautiful? "Though I do appreciate it." Kanan beamed at that, happy to have done something right. Score one for the dolphin.
When they got to the restaurant, Kanan did her best to be a proper date for Dia. She held open both the car and restaurant doors, and pulled out Dia's chair for her. It wasn't that she didn't do these kinds of things, but it felt weird to be doing them in a date context. She'd been friends with Dia for all these years, and now they were on a date. It was too easy to want to slip back into the old, comfortable ways they always interacted. That wasn't very formal, though. She did her best to act like she knew Dia would appreciate.
"You look nice in that suit, Kanan. It really fits you."
"Thank you! That dress is really lovely on you." It took all of her efforts to not say that the suit really suited her. She felt that kind of restraint earned her at least one cookie, maybe two.
"I was hoping you'd like it." Dia's cheeks went pink, but she was saved from further explanation by the waiter, who came and took their drink orders. The one thing that didn't change with them on a date was that they were able to easily converse with each other. That was the benefit of knowing someone for years: there was usually something to talk about. She didn't even mention anything about mating. Not one time. Though she couldn't help but talk about sea life once or five times. It was something she knew a lot about. Thankfully, Dia's family business had a lot to do with the water as well, so the conversation wasn't entirely one-sided.
Normally, Kanan wasn't much for fancy foods. She knew that Dia and Mari were more diverse with their palates, but hers was more seafood-driven. However, this menu had a nice selection of seafood that she could choose from, saving her the embarrassment of having to ask if they had a kids menu. They chatted happily until the food came, then they started to dig in.
"Mmm, this is delicious!" Kanan sighed happily, taking another bite of her food. Her eating wasn't quite as delicate as Dia's was, but that fact was never brought up. Dia just smiled and nodded, more than aware of Kanan's more casual eating habits. It didn't really bother her.
"It's quite exquisite. I'm glad you're enjoying your meal, Kanan." When they finished their meals, Kanan tried to pay for it all, since she was the one who had asked Dia out on a date, but Dia wasn't having it. Even though her wallet begged her to take the deal Dia was giving her, she still tried to insist on paying it. Dia wasn't one to not get her way, though, so they ended up splitting the bill. Kanan wasn't sure how romantic that was, but her wallet gave her a prayer of thanks all the same.
On the drive home, Kanan began to think about what Ruby had said earlier. She had put the thought of kissing out of her mind, but now that their date was almost over, it was front and center in her brain. This left her with one chance to kiss Dia, which apparently she wanted. Oh man... She'd thought about kissing Dia before. Maybe a bit too much starting in high school. Now that she actually had the chance, she was nervous. Maybe she should have practiced kissing before going on this date.
She would occasionally glance over at Dia, usually finding her staring back. Dia would smile, and she would blush and look back at the road. Was she even a good kisser? Well, she was going to find out. Unless Dia didn't tell her... Now she was sweating again, stressing out over something as simple as a kiss. She was playing herself here.
Parking by the Kurosawa's house, Kanan got out with intentions to open Dia's door, but she'd already opened it and stepped out before Kanan got there. She smiled awkwardly, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands. They were walking up to the door, and she was going back and forth in her mind about what to do. God, why was she overthinking this? She'd never been this way around Dia before. Even when she was crushing hard, it hadn't been this difficult to make a decision.
They were at the door when she made her decision. Dia was saying something - "I had a really nice time, Kanan" - but Kanan was having a hard time paying attention. She could feel her heart beating faster in her chest, and before she could chicken out, she cupped Dia's cheeks in her hands and dipped in for a kiss. It was quick and a little sloppy, but it left Dia dazed all the same when Kanan pulled back. Her heart was still pounding like a drum in her ears. She was sure Dia could hear it.
"Well... You certainly are bold, aren't you?" Dia smiled, a light blush on her face as she looked at Kanan. There was a hint of shyness in her gaze. "Will you do it again?" Perking up instantly, Kanan nodded hard and swooped back in to kiss Dia again. This kiss was longer, and Kanan swore she could hear bells ringing louder than her heart. She wasn't sure if she was having aural hallucinations or Mari had snuck up on them and started ringing bells to mess with them.
"That was nice," Kanan murmured dumbly, a big, goofy smile on her face. "Does that mean you want to go on another date?"
"Why don't you ask me properly, and maybe I'll say yes?"
"O-Oh, right! Will you go on another date with me, Dia?"
"Hmm..." Dia rubbed her chin in thought, leaving Kanan to sweat it out for a moment longer. "Come up with an idea for our next date, and I'll be happy to go on another date with you." She smiled warmly, kissing Kanan on the cheek. "Thank you for the date. It was very nice. Call me, okay?" Kanan just nodded dumbly, watching as Dia went inside.
She might have stood there like an idiot until the sprinklers came on, until a phone call broke her from her stupor. She answered it in a daze, not even looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"
"Kanan! Did your date go well?" Mari's shrill, excited voice burst through the speakers. Kanan had to pull the phone away from her ear to avoid going partially deaf.
"Uh, yeah, yeah it did. It went great, actually. Really great."
"That's great! That kiss was pretty steamy, huh? Glad you listened to little Wooby. Use some tongue next time!"
"Wh-What?" Kanan blushed, staring at the phone in shock. "How did you know that?!"
"Look up." She did so, and saw a robo-looking thing flying above her, a lens pointing directly at her. "Say hi to my drone, Miss Peekaboo!"
"Mari, I'm going to destroy your drone with a rock." She looked down to start trying to find something to throw at it.
"No, not Miss Peekaboo! Kanan, no!"
64 notes · View notes
sabraeal · 7 years
Note
"It's either this or you sleep in the tub."/"Alright. Get up here." - just one piece will dooooo, bruh (ObiYuki probs)
Zen is the first.
“It looms like the Sword of Damocles,” he mutters. “I just have to get it over with.”
A week after the auction, he and Coco – her name is legally Coco; Obi will never get over rich people – spend an evening at Mohegan Sun. He’s tight lipped on the details, but doesn’t skimp as far as Obi can see: a limo picks them up, Zen is dressed to the nines and holding tickets to some concert.
“Really going all out, huh, chief?” he drawls, watching as Zen buttons and unbuttons his suit jacket, posing with a dramatic hip-pop in the hall mirror. He could be out of whatever catalog rich people order their clothes from.
Do rich people order their clothes from catalogs? A mystery.
Zen sniffs. “I do have a reputation to keep.”
Kiki looks up from her laptop. “With who? Delta Nu?”
He grimaces. “You know. People. Expectations.”
“The last time I heard anything about your reputation, it was that you were expected to not have a date at prom.”
“Don’t. Help.” Zen grounds out. Obi draws blood trying not to laugh.
Mitsuhide waits until after finals. “It’d be a fun way to relax,” he says, looking the least relaxed Obi’s ever seen him.
Kiki’s mouth curves into the slightest of smiles. “Sounds like fun.”
Mitsuhide looks like he’s going to collapse from relief. “I-I thought we might go to Boston. Since there’s nothing out here, really.”
Her mouth parts, showing a flash of teeth. Obi feels a flash of concern for the Big Guy. It’s the same sort of look prey items see before their neck snaps. “Let’s make a day of it. I’ll handle accommodations.”
“But I’m –”
“You’re planning everything else,” she says smoothly, as if she’s practiced. “I can get this. One night?”
Obi hears the spring of a trap when Mitsuhide says, “Yes.”
They leave Saturday morning. Kiki is wearing a skirt.
“Be safe, kids,” Obi calls out when he hears the door open.
“Don’t worry,” Kiki calls back wryly. “I packed plenty of condoms.”
The door’s too thick to hear Mitsuhide’s response. He’ll have to ask about it tomorrow.
They come back on Tuesday. Kiki is wearing a Canadien’s jersey five times too large for her.
She’s also holding Mitsuhide’s hand.
“I should take notes,” Obi teases when she walks past. She stops, gives him a long, considering look that makes goosebumps breakout over his skin.
“You should,” she says, thoughtful.
Obi knows what Zen means about the sword of Damocles. Whatever that was will be hanging over his neck for the next forever.
Summer’s almost ended when Kiki approaches him.
“You know money is exchanged for goods and services,” she says, apropos to nothing.
He’s halfway into his closet, trying to dig out his swim trunks – if he’s not going to use them at Lyrias, when is he going to use them? – and his laugh echoes in the corners. “I think between the two of us, Ms Kiki, you are not the one to lecture me on how money works.”
She’s silent a moment. “Shirayuki paid for a date.”
“No,” he says slowly, finding it balled up behind his dress shoes. “She paid for you guys to get good beer for Rush Week. It just so happens that I was who she bid on.”
Kiki grunts, disgruntled. “You should do it. I’m sure she’d like the excuse to spend some time with you.”
“She’ll be spending all her time with me in Lyrias.”
“I think she’d like an excuse to…be away,” Kiki tries again, her tone carefully removed. He sits back on his legs, and she shoots a pointed glance down the hall. Toward Zen’s room.
The chief has been…clingy isn’t the right word.
Overbearing.
“Yeah, okay,” he says finally. “I guess you got a point.”
“Why don’t you go to the city?” she suggests after a moment. “It’ll be your last chance for a while.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “That’s a good idea.”
“I know.” She waits until he’s poked his head back in the closet to say, “You should make a day of it. I can handle your rooms, if you like.”
“That’s not –”
“I insist.” Her tone leaves little room for argument. “I’d like to treat you both. As a gift.”
His instinct is to ask what her game is, just what she thinks she’ll be getting from all this – but he tamps down on it. These are his friends. They care about him. He’s got to remember that.
“Thanks,” he says instead. “That’d be nice.”
“Great.” He looks back, and she’s actually smiling. “I’ll handle it.”
He’s buried in the back of the Cherokee, trying to figure out a way to hang his shirt that doesn’t have it settle on the floor, getting creases and shit – ah, fuck being so tall – when a shadow falls over him.
“I thought you said you were wearing a tie,“ Shirayuki says, so abrupt he whacks his head on the roof.
Wow, yep. Good thing this is a fake date, because he’s doing so good thus far. Haven’t even left the driveway and already he’s halfway to concussed.
“Oh!” she yelps, diving toward him as he ducks out, her small hands coming to cradle his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t – oh, let me look at it, Obi! It looks like it hurt.”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he assures her, but he’s only a good guy, not a great guy, so when she sinks her hands into the bristle of his hair, seeking out where he’s bruised – well, it feels nice. There’s no real reason to stop her.
Of course, that’s when he realizes what she’s wearing.
“Oh,” he breathes, though he doesn’t know how. he’s used to seeing her in floaty boho dresses, but now she’s in this retro sundress, blue and white polka dots and – “Wow.”
She stills, her whole body pressed along the length of his to reach his bowed head. It looks a little ridiculous, her crisp cotton polka dots next to the ribbing of his tank top, like something out of greaser movie. A nervous giggle bubbles out of her, but she doesn’t step back, just continues to inspect him for damage.
“Ah, yeah,” she hums shyly, “you said you were wearing a tie, so I um…feel overdressed.”
“N-no, I, um.” He steps away now. She can’t be that close to him, looking so cute and wholesome. It makes him want to…rumple her. “I am. It’s just hot, and the Cherokee’s air is busted, so…”
“Oh!” She nods, emphatic. “All right! I was just going to ask if I should change, but –”
“Aw, c’mon, Doc.” He gives her a grin, winking at her behind his sunglasses. “Don’t go changing, I like you the way you –”
“Right,” she sighs, stomping around to the other side of the car. “I’m picking the music.”
“Aw, c’mon –”
“The rules are simple,” comes her muffled voice. “Lame music jokes lose you privileges.”
“But –”
“Do you want me to get Kiki?”
The drive to Boston from the valley takes two hours, but with her it passes like nothing.
He’s shrugging on his button-up in the parking garage, when she finally realizes where they are.
“We’re going to the aquarium?”
If it was anyone else, that would be incredulous, petulant, but with her, it’s – elated. She’s excited. He looks up as he tucks in his tails, and she’s got her hands clasped in front of her chest, all starry-eyed, and he –
Oh, wow, he just…he has a real problem here. “You been yet?”
He knows the answer, but it gives them something to talk about while he rolls up his sleeves, gives him something to think about other than opening up the Cherokee’s hatch and showing her what kind of things he usually does with girls.
“No!” She’s breathless. Good, now they match. “But Garrack says it’s laid out well. You can mostly follow the evolution of vertebrates, as long as you don’t mind that they can’t, you know, get a coelacanth.”
“Is there an aquarium that has one?” he teases, tightening his tie. “Someone page Dr Erdmann –”
“Oh, hush,” she says, slender fingers wrapping around his forearm. Her fingers a pleasantly cool against his skin, even in the dead of summer. “Come on, I want to see the penguins first.”
“Aren’t they the most derived –?”
“Did I pay extra for teasing?” she laughs, dragging him behind her. “Is that why you’re so expensive?”
“We’ve been over this,” he says, ignoring the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. “It’s because I put out.”
He lets her lead, dragging him from the penguins to her one-woman tour of vertebrate evolution – complete with commentary about how the tanks could be laid out in a more logical manner – but they end up, as he always knew they would, at the ocean tank.
It’s huge; twenty-three feet from bottom to top, a ramp tightly spiraling around the glass. It’s crowded – that’s what he gets for taking her out on a Saturday during summer – but they find a place between two concrete struts, right up against the glass, and – and –
Doc looks like heaven.
It’s dark on the lower levels, just the track-lighting and tank for light, and she’s painted in scintillating blues and greens, shadows passing over as the bigger animals rotate past, carried by the current. They’ve both got one hip pressed to the ledge, facing each other but not; she’s practically pressed her face against the tank, eyes and mouth open in wonder and –
And oh wow, this is a problem. This isn’t – he doesn’t just like her. He – he –
“Obi, look!” She grabs his arm, pointing with her free hand. “That’s Myrtle. She’s their green sea turtle. And there’s two loggerheads somewhere in here.”
He takes another moment to take her in, to commit the way she looks to memory, and turns to look up at the tank.
It’s strange to see one swimming from this angle; he’s always looking at them from the surface, but he’s watching her move from all angles, seeing every way she articulates –
“Wow,” he breathes. He’s a world away from where he was two years ago, just getting out of PT, throwing his Vicodin in the garbage, feeling weird about going to school with kids.
“Amazing,” she sighs, smile wide and wistful across her face. “Can you believe it? That is what we’re going to study.”
He can’t, not really, not when a year ago he’d been Undeclared, thinking about quitting, wondering if he’d ever find a place he’d fit for even a moment, and now –
Now he’s here. He has a major. He has a life. He has a purpose.
And he knows who to thank for it.
He opens his mouth – to tell her maybe, to admit just a small portion of the gratitude he has for having met her –
When suddenly she is flush against him, her breasts pressed to his ribs, hips aligned with his, hand gripping his shirt while his own clutch at her waist.
“Sorry,” says some kid, half their height, barely looking at them as he crouches to see a shark through the rail.
Her breath skitters over his chest. “Sorry,” she murmurs, and it takes him half a minute to realize she means him.
“No prob –” His words stutter when her hand runs down his tie, straightening how it lies over his shirt. “N-no problem, Doc. Always a pleasure to have you fall for me.”
She groans, pushing him gently, and he takes the opportunity to put some space between them, to catch his breath.
“Anyway,” he says, “we should get going. Don’t want to be late for dinner.”
“Oh.” She blinks. “We aren’t going to eat here?”
“Please, Doc,” he laughs, tugging her by the hand. “I know you would have ordered the fish, and then someone would have said something about slow learners --”
“You would say that.”
“Someone,” he insists with a grin. “And then you would have sat there with your cute pouty face, trying to bum some of my rice pilaf off of me --”
“Oh,” she sighs, her voice wavering with laughter, “heaven forbid.”
Obi doesn’t do dates.
He’s never needed to. All his experience with woman has been girls who know what they want, and it’s seven minutes of quality time on the nearest flat surface with his dick. Sometimes he’d go back to their place, spend a few hours doing things right, but – no staying for breakfast. No midnight snacks. He didn’t even accept a power bar that one time a girl offered it to him, saying you need it after that performance.)
So going to an actual food serving location and sitting there for an undisclosed amount of time and making conversation? Not something that’s been at the top of his list to do. He wouldn’t know where to start.
”That’s why you have me,” Kiki says, lounging on his bed as she flips through options on her phone. “I will make you look like less of a loser.”
“Hey,” he laughs, throwing a pillow at her. “Girls love me.”
She doesn’t even flinch, just grabs it out of the air and tucks it under her arm.
“Fine.” Her mouth slants to one side, giving him a flash of teeth. “I will make you look like less of a horse-dicked loser.”
The place Kiki picks –Water Line, just down on the next pier – is nice. Swanky.
Expensive.
Obi’s intimately aware of the balance in his checking account; he sees it hovering in his vision when he looks at the prices on the menu. He knows that thirty dollars for an entree – especially seafood – isn’t extravagant, but it’s also not – not –
Affordable. Not for a college kid who just started his life over.
He breathes through his panic. He can do it; he doubts Doc could eat enough to break the bank. Even still…goodbye to that that oil change he was going to do before they left.
“Oh my,” Doc murmurs, slender fingers pressed to her lips. She’s gone two shades paler just perusing the appetizers. “It’s so expensive here. I can just get some – soup? I think soup is cheap…relatively…”
“Hey.” His hand shoots out, grabbing the one she’s laid on the table between them. “It’s fine. Get what you want.”
Her teeth sunk anxiously into her lower lip. He forces down the urge to lean over, to catch it both of his and soothe away the worry marks with his tongue. Ugh, not appropriate.
“Are you sure? I don’t –”
He gives her hand a squeeze, palms touching. “C’mon, Doc. you dropped a whole bunch of cash to get here after all.”
Her eyes narrow, searching his face, but she nods finally, giving him a shy smile. “Well,” she says, fidgeting with the napkin in her lap, “I had heard that you put out.”
“Oh, I see.” He can’t fight his grin. “The truth comes out. I see right through you, Doc, you just want me for my –”
“Excuse me.” A waiter reaches between them, tipping both their wine glasses upright, and then he’s popping a bottle of red –
“Uh,” Obi starts, suddenly at a loss for words. The edge of the bottle’s label is peeling at the edges, and that seems like something – expensive. “I don’t think we ordered that –”
The man smiles, pouring the rich red into their glasses. “Compliments of Miss Seiran.”
Thx 4 vino
You’re welcome.
gv me a hrt attkbut v cooldoc sez “it’s nice”“i feel warm”
Glad to know it’s being enjoyed.Dinner is on me by the way.
wat no waiwaitthats too much Kiki esp w the hotel & everythingim supposed to b paying for this thing
PleaseI want you two to have a good timeAnd you won’t if you’re thinking about how you have $304.08 in your checking account.
How do you KNOW that
Math.PleaseThink of this as a farewell gift.If it makes you feel better.
….Thank you
Thank me by enjoying yourselves.
Doc has a little too much over dinner. Not enough to be drunk, but she’s leaning into him as they walk along the pier to the hotel, hand wrapped in his.
(”It’s a date, isn’t it?” she asks when he blinks down at her. “People hold hands on dates.”
God, is his mouth dry. “R-right.”)
When they get to the front desk, he’s a live wire, so aware of how Doc is curled into him that he hardly listens to the concierge when he repeats the room reservation. It feels like everyone is staring, that everyone there knows she isn’t his, she’s for someone else, and -- and even still he can’t push her away.
All he hears is “Under Seiran?” and he squeaks up, “Yep!”
So he really shouldn’t be surprised. Not when Kiki made the reservation. He’s sure somewhere in their nine months plus of friendship, he has earned this particular prank.
“Obi,” Shirayuki slurs, face emerging from his side, “why is there only one bed?”
The suite is huge, it’s got a living room and a dining room and a balcony and just – it’s super swanky. Better -- and bigger -- than every apartment he’s ever lived in. So when he sits in the bathroom, staring at his phone, he knows he’s not going to text Kiki. This isn’t a mistake. Kiki knew exactly what she was doing when she booked the world’s most swankiest suite with only one – albeit enormous – bed.
He takes a deep breath and walks back out, running smack into Shirayuki and her neat little bag of toiletries.
“Ah, sorry, Doc,” he sighs, stepping aside to let her past. “I didn’t – this is my fault. I could –”
“It’s fine, Obi.” She sets down her bag a little too precisely. “It’s not like we’ve never slept in the same bed.”
Right, that’s true, but – but there’s a different between passing out from too much anime too late, and planning to share a bed. Planning to share a bed that was covered in rose petals when they arrived.
She shrugs, nonchalant, though he can see her hands tremble in the mirror. “I mean, it’s either this or you sleep in the tub.”
He stares, watching her brush her teeth. “Or, I mean, the couch. Couches exist.”
“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” she tells him after she spits. “That’s stupid.”
“You’re right,” he says, sauntering back into the bedroom, Doc trailing along behind him. “I’m the one not paying for this room for both of us. I get the big fancy bed.”
He flops showily onto the mattress, throwing the sheets around his hips. Oh god, they’re silk.
She’s been hanging around him far too much, because she gives him the flattest, least impressed look, and says, “Am I honestly supposed to believe you’d let me sleep on the couch?”
“Alright,” he sighs, opening the covers for her. “Get up here.”
She giggles, slinking shyly towards him in her pajamas – just some sleep shorts and a t-shirt – and curls into bed beside him. The moment her hands touch him his heart pounds, and he thinks he’ll never sleep, just lay up being consumed by his own desire, but –
But she lays her head on his chest, breath evening out, and he just – just passes out.
Best sleep of his life.
They come home the next morning, her wearing his hoodie, not holding hands.
Kiki frowns as he walks past, drowning in one of Mitsuhide’s shirts. “You’re a disappointment.”
“Hey,” he says, grabbing his coco puffs from the cabinets. “I’m a gentleman.”
45 notes · View notes
mst3kproject · 7 years
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Monster on the Campus
This movie has one of the best MST3K pedigrees I’ve seen.  The cast includes Whit Bissell, the mad scientist from I Was a Teenage Werewolf, and director Jack Arnold also brought us Revenge of the Creature and The Space Children (and four episodes of Love, American Style).  That alone would qualify it as an Episode that Never Was, but wait... there’s more!  Monster on the Campus boasts a veritable menagerie of background weirdnesses that the Brains could have gone to town on, including an inexplicable bust of Genghis Khan, a woman who appears to have her dress on backwards, and a door in constant use despite being marked USE OTHER DOOR.  Add a werecreature plot even more bizarre than Track of the Moon Beast and I am at an utter loss for how they managed to miss this one.
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Professor Donald Blake (no, not that Donald Blake) is a paleontologist who has just received an exciting new specimen: a preserved coelacanth, all the way from Madagascar!  He hopes this will take him down roads of science few have ever trod, and oh, boy, will it ever.  When Blake cuts himself on the prehistoric fish’ teeth, he transforms into an ape-man and sets out on a rampage.  The police investigate his trail of murder and vandalism, while the coelacanth (which Blake pronounces 'silla-canth') continues to infect anything it touches with a sort of de-evolution, like the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Genesis except much, much sillier.
I didn't think coelacanths actually had teeth, but I googled it and it turns out they do.  This is possibly the most scientifically accurate part of the movie.  The rest of Monster on the Campus' science is on a par with things like the carbon-dated metal statue in Terror from the Year 5000 or Glenn Manning's single-celled heart in The Amazing Colossal Man.  As a major part of its premise, this film proposes that somehow, coelacanth blood actually resists evolution.
This is really, really not how evolution works.  If you could sequence the genes of a modern coelacanth and compare them with those of its ancestors eighty million years ago, you'd find that genetically it's about as closely related to them as we are to whatever little possum-like creatures were around back then. Coelacanths might look like they haven't changed, but that's simply because, like sharks or cockroaches, they have happened upon a body plan that works so well for what they do that there's been no reason to change it.  Instead, the tweaking happens on the inside – mutations accumulate whether they cause physical changes or not, and modern coelacanths must deal with completely different environmental conditions than prehistoric ones.  Factors like predators, prey, temperature, ocean and atmospheric chemistry, and diseases are changing constantly and means that coelacanths must evolve, even if they do so where we can't see it.
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Another thing this movie apparently believes about evolution is that creatures in the past were innately angrier and more violent than modern ones.  We see several 'primitive' life forms over the course of this story: a saber-toothed German Shepherd that apparently represents the ancestor of modern dogs (and makes about as much evolutionary sense as the saber-toothed squirrel in the Ice Age movies), a giant dragonfly, and the caveman Dr. Blake becomes.  All three are shown attacking anything that moves, and sometimes things that don't.  There is some implication that the caveman has access to Blake's memories even it can't make sense of them, but its reaction to the things it thus 'recognizes' is still violence.  The idea that the past was 'brutal' and modern man must overcome his instincts to progress is a constant running thread in the movie.
This is taken so far, however, that it leaves the viewer wondering – if we evolved from such violent creatures, how did we ever get to where we are?  An argument might be made that the prehistoric dog was vicious because it had not yet been domesticated.  Fine, but how were humans domesticated?  How did the ape-man we see ever stop smashing, raping, and killing long enough to settle down and invent civilization?  Its behaviour shows very little evidence of what we'd recognize as intelligence.  Maybe the female was a civilizing influence.  We never see a prehistoric woman in the movie, and Dr. Blake's display of 'the faces of man' inadvertently implies that woman is the highest form of human evolution.  If, as the stereotypes tell us, men are intrinsically domineering and violent while women are supposed to be kind and nurturing, maybe the more feminine humanity becomes, the better.
Oh, wait, there's one more thing the movie's science gets right: the idea of preserving tissues through irradiation.  This works exactly the way Blake explains: by killing off all the bacteria in the target material.  It's actually a very safe and effective way to prevent food from spoiling – it never really caught on, however, probably mostly because of movies like this one spreading the idea that radiation = oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die.
If we can accept all that, however, the movie is actually very entertaining.  The music is pretty good and the effects are not convincing, but they're fun to look at.  The caveman doesn't appear on screen until nearly the end, but this is done in such a way that it is suspenseful rather than annoying.  We know that something strange has happened to Dr. Blake, and that it's equivalent to what became of Samson the dog and the dragonfly – but the characters don't, at least not at first, and their conclusion that Blake is being stalked by an unknown enemy is an entirely reasonable one given the facts they have.  The theory becomes harder to fit to the facts as more facts appear, and the police struggle to keep it plausible.  The dog and the dragonfly give us some monster action to keep us interested while we wait for the big reveal.
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The reveal itself is not as satisfying as it ought to be, because the caveman makeup is pretty damned bad.  The mask almost looks more like a werewolf than an ape-man.  The way Blake gets his doses of coelacanth blood is also pretty contrived.  The first time, when he cuts his hand on the fish' teeth, kind of works, but the second time, he allows blood to drip into his pipe and them smokes it.  This is hilarious in both concept and execution, and even Blake, discussing his theory with his superiors, dismisses a second accident as unlikely.
Donald Blake himself is a reasonably sympathetic character, both the hero and the villain of his own story.  We never entirely like him, but that's mainly a product of the movie's age. The first line we hear him say is as he makes a mold of his girlfriend's face to add to his 'faces of man' exhibit - “the female in the perfect state – helpless and silent!”  This probably seemed harmlessly funny in the 50's – in the 21st century it makes him seem like a pig and it's kind of an uphill struggle to regain any respect for him. The slow burn of him figuring out who the monster is, and the confusion and terror that accompany it, help a lot – as does the behaviour of his colleagues, who understandably think he's going nuts.
At the end of the movie, Blake decides to perform an experiment – he will inject himself with the coelacanth blood a third time and see what happens.  He records a last message, saying “I pray only for the courage to destroy the monster within me.”  Sure enough, the caveman re-emerges and threatens Blake's girlfriend Madeline.  Upon seeing the photographic evidence, he convinces his colleagues to shoot him, so that the monster will die with him.
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I think we're supposed to consider this a tragedy: like Oedipus, Blake could not stop pursuing the truth, and the truth in the end destroyed him.  The problem with this is that his suicide seems, quite honestly, totally unnecessary.  To keep from committing any more violent crimes, all Blake would have to do is not come into contact with radioactive coelacanth blood, and it doesn't seem like this ought to be a difficult substance to avoid.  In fact, he probably has the world's entire supply right there in his lab – burn the damn fish, and you're done!  Committing suicide over a problem that easy to solve is the act of a drama queen, Dr. Blake.
It's especially ridiculous when this movie's entire point is that the capacity for brutal violence is latent within all of us, just waiting for an excuse to bubble to the surface.  Is the movie trying to say that we should all kill ourselves to avoid the crimes we might commit?  I could probably kill somebody if I felt it was necessary – do I deserve to be pre-emptively locked up for that?  Blake seems to know that he's not responsible for what his prehistoric alter-ego does, even if the irrational part of him feels guilty regardless. Certainly he doesn't blame Sampson the dog for nearly attacking Madeline while under the influence of the coelacanth blood, so why blame himself?  The point made earlier in the movie was that we must resist our urge to violence, to choose to evolve away from it – but rather than rejecting his animal nature, Blake seems to lose all hope of ever doing so.
Confused as the movie is, this is one of the good ones.  It had me on its side from the moment it included a Meganeura, one of my favourite under-used prehistoric animals – but even outside of that it's a fun story that keeps the audience engaged.  It's definitely not perfect, but the annoying parts don't annoy me enough to detract from the fun ones.  Any lover of silly 50's sci-fi should definitely check out Monster on the Campus.
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