#1. Do you think it’s more acceptable to be “the other girl” in media nowadays? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chrimsonfoxdon · 2 months

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Ooh question, you mentioned rewatching as an adult, and I'm curious, what kinds of things do you view differently now? I'm rereading the manga after a long time too, and the big thing I'm noticing is that I have more compassion now, especially towards characters who I didn't realize reminded me of myself and not in the best ways 😂 And especially during part 1 I found myself wondering why we don't see their parents more often (for those who still have them) and who took care of them growing up (for the others).

I have felt similar!! Ok I’m gonna maybe list stuff out on what I’ve noticed I view differently.

Very long post under the cut of me rambling (again)!

1. My Opinion on What I Consider Good Media Has Changed

Starting with this one as I feel it’s a big overarching thing that’ll dictate all my other opinions and thoughts. I’ve watched, read, and listened to A LOT of other series and media since I first started watching Naruto (also you know life experience and such), so I have a better idea of what is “good” media and what is “bad.” When I was younger, I considered Naruto to be the best of the best, but I don’t think that now (as far as anime that title now goes to FMA:B it’s very good please watch it if you haven’t oh my god). It has a lot of flaws, some endearing and others… not so much. Granted that’s any piece of media. Nothing is perfect (not even FMA:B). But despite that, I’ve also learned that it’s ok to still enjoy it!! Imo it’s not all bad, I mean, we’re still here discussing it yea?

I guess the TLDR of this part is: it’s cringe but that’s ok cuz life is short and we should enjoy the stuff we like.

2. Female Characters/Feminism

I feel like, while these are different topics, they’re very linked together in how I watch Naruto now so I’m putting them together. When I was younger, I didn’t like really any of the female cast (except Tenten). I found them “annoying,” to put it simply. Sakura always chasing after Sasuke?? Lame. Ino being obsessed with her looks?? Shallow. Hinata losing to Neji? Weak. I began to think that I didn’t like those characters because I didn’t like female characters mostly as a whole (which is kinda hilarious cuz I did start making Chihiro back then who does in fact identify as a woman LOL!!). But this negative attitude towards female characters not only leaked into how I consumed other media, but how I saw myself and other women irl. Like I distinctly remember believing that a woman could never beat a guy in anything. Which is uh… not true!! And kinda fucked up!!!

Now that I’m older I just realize that kishimoto doesn’t know how to write women all that well. Imo, it’s not the girls’ faults, it’s their creator. Which is disappointing but also freeing almost?? Plus, I can now appreciate what good they do have to offer!! (I talked a little about the konoha 12 girls and what I like about them in this ask in case you’d like details on individual characters)

I think also being exposed to other fans with differing opinions and views has helped me with this as well. When I first started watching I didn’t really go online (wasn’t a thing in Cuba plus I wasn’t really interested), so I didn’t really have other perspectives to bounce off of.

Also wanted to add that there are definitely parts of the show I laughed off before but you know, just are not acceptable nowadays. Mainly thinking of Shikamaru talking down on girls/women, Neji made a rude comment about girls too (that Tenten corrected him on tho thank you queen), and some bits that could be perceived as a little transphobic (I’m not trans tho so I don’t wanna speak for them on that bit). Its viewpoints that I feel are a product of the time, but does not make the overall series bad per se.

3. Seeing Other Children as a Child VS as an Adult

Ngl since I grew up with Naruto, I feel as if I will always see them as my peers in a sense. If anything, almost like the “older kids” in school. Like I don’t know if this is a common perception, but I remember when I was like in 2nd grade I saw 6th graders as like tiny adults, but then when I was in 6th grade I saw 2nd graders as like babies. Does that make sense?? Anyway, it’s interesting rewatching Naruto as an adult and seeing my “peers” when they were younger. I remember thinking that 12 & 13 year olds were badass and cool and practically ready for the real world (I was like 8 or 9 when I first started watching leave me alone), and being amazed at stuff like the chunin exams. Nowadays my brain just kinda goes “why are we letting these CHILDREN go to war???” It’s a similar story with like the sensei. Thinking they’re so experienced and old and… now I’m the same age as them and I’m still young!!

4. Might Gai is Cringe and I Love Him For That

The way I didn’t appreciate this man when I was a kid is a CRIME. Teaching his students (and friends) that it’s important to find joy in life is SO IMPORTANT and Gai just does an EXCELLENT job with that!! He strives to be a source of light for the people in his life, and to show others it’s important to smile and laugh from time to time. It warms my cold dead grownup heart what can I say. There’s a line in OG Naruto after Lee beats Sasuke in their fight before the chunin exams, where Naruto turns to Sasuke and Sakura as their cringing at Lee and Gai and says, “actually, it’s kinda sweet how they’re all hugging and stuff!” And that kinda summarizes my thoughts on them.

TLDR Might Gai is cringe but he is free and I love him so much for that.

5. Seeing Myself in Characters I Didn’t Before

Off the top of my head, the three characters I see myself in more so now than when I was younger is definitely Choji, Lee, and Tenten.

I was never popular growing up, especially when I moved back to the US after living in Cuba. Kids just didn’t wanna play with me or have me on their sports teams, so I was purposefully left out oftentimes, kinda like how choji was when he was younger. Rewatching that part made me cry honestly HAHA I saw myself so clearly. I’m also plus size so the beauty standards he has to deal with really speak to me. I remember Shikamaru telling him one time that girls don’t have to be skinny to be pretty and I would be lying if that didn’t give me a huge amount of confidence in myself.

Rock Lee’s story has always been top notch, but as someone who chose to specialize in a path that I didn’t really have natural talent for myself it REALLY speaks to me now. I’ll be 100% honest, I was never really one of those “been drawing since I could hold a pencil” kind of kids. I liked it, but I didn’t really consider myself any good until like 8th grade or so. Anyway, there’s this scene where Lee is crying at the training grounds cuz he’s scared that, no matter how hard he works, it’ll all be for nothing and that he’ll always be a loser, and uh… had to turn the show off cuz that struck WAAAAAAAY too close to home for me as an artist with a… let’s be real, a failing art business. Anyway, he inspires me though to keep going cuz this is what brings me joy. I may take longer than most, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person for it.

Tenten I’ve honestly seen a lot of myself in even when I was younger! But there’s this filler episode that goes into detail on how she tried really hard to be just like Tsunade, since that was her dream since she was little. Turns out she doesn’t have the capacity to do that (not being able to do medical ninjutsu well, etc), but she finds her own strengths along the way. What really spoke to me was letting go of your childhood dreams. It’s hard. It feels like you’re failing in a way. But Tenten was able to persevere and find a new and even better path forward for herself. And that’s just amazing. I love seeing that, and it helps me feel as if I too and maybe find my path.

6. Final Thoughts and Random Little Things

I think it’s also safe to say that I can pick up on story flaws (I’m looking at you 4th great ninja war arc) and inconsistencies (how the heck does the hyuga clan work wtf). It’s a long series and nowadays you can binge the whole thing in one sitting (I don’t recommend that please take care of yourself). Back in my day I had to wait a whole week to watch the next 26 minute episode with commercials in between. Also I was a kid. AHAHA!! But again, long series, so I’m sure Kishi forgot about certain details while he was being pushed to continue the series.

Also my views on certain things that happened in the series changed based on what I know what happens later, which I find to be quite fun!

Overall I still enjoy the series, both for similar reasons as I did back in the day (Neji) and for new reasons!! Flaws and all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

#chit chat #naruto #naruto meta

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baby-girl-aaron-dessner · 19 days

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Hi girl! Yeah, I wouldn't mind if you answered me privately or not, haha.

I kind of feel bad and guilty, because I only have criticisms against him here, even though I've seen criticisms on Twitter or a friend who has the same opinions as me.

Yes, Fernando is a Formula 1 driver, I already knew him, but after he dealt with Taylor about everything, I started watching Formula 1 like others watch American football, honestly? I believed that they could have had an affair, because he was the first namesake, after Joe (and Joe made me choose him in any discussion, after he showed support for Palestine), who was linked as a boyfriend or something like that with her. I thought they could have something, but I think he was joking with the fans, who thought they were dating and with the fansx who knew he wasn't with Taylor, when journalists asked him questions, I think that, Fernando liked to know that he was connected with such a beautiful woman, but he never made any disrespectful comments about her, he was one of the few that I never found sexist at all with her, I stopped believing that they had something, with the songs about M*tty.

I've heard, at the very beginning, when she started going to games or when no one knew, if his brother was telling the truth about him knowing her, some fans were misogynistic towards her, I wouldn't be surprised, although I love watching football that the rest of the world follows, the players and fans can be very misogynistic or racist and everything, I remember this, since I was a little girl, so I wouldn't be surprised by this kind of behavior in such a masculine sport like American football.

I thought, you had heard about him talking about going to her show, I don't remember, whether it was in Kansas or another night, he felt like a very hot man, I think in a radio interview, he said that he made friendship bracelets to exchange with her fans and one with his phone number for her, honestly? I think that, from the beginning, he uses her to be more famous, because an American friend who, neutral with Taylor, and loves American football, told me that he was better known in the past, she wouldn't be surprised, if he had said misogynists things about her, but after you answered the anonymous question, I also think she uses him as the same reason.

After that, I was in Pedro Pascal's fandom for a year or almost two years, I don't remember, I think fandoms have a lot of hypocrisy, Pedro's fans pretend to accept everyone, like he accepts everyone, but the history of his life, how old he is, how he was born in another country and being an immigrant in the United States, you understand, why he is so different from other men or people of his generation in having an open mind, but some fans, who are American white or European people don't understand, and they don't accept you, even if you're from the same fandom as them and you're a fan of his, so nowadays, I don't consider myself part of his fandom anymore, especially because I'm a Latina like him, and I'm just an admirer of his work and the person he is.

Thank you very much, but whenever, I make a comment criticizing him or their relationship, I always lose a follow, but how I was treated in Pedro's fandom or am treated, when I criticize how some people, who say they are his fans treat Pedro, I don't bother anymore, if someone didn't agree with my opinion about her boyfriend or their relationship.

Hey girl! You shouldn’t feel bad! A lot of people share your opinion and you’ve raised some really important and valid points (especially about fan culture).

I agree with you that Travis leans on Taylor’s fame and loves this about her. For example, his podcast merch sold out when Taylor wore the cap at Coachella and his brands social media account was updating everyone to know that they were restocking $$$$.

Trayvis fans like to believe that Travis’ behaviour is endearing and romantic but to do so would be to overlook the financial stake he has in this relationship. He profits off of her and we all know it.

However, like you pointed out, Taylor also benefits from being exposed to a new marketing demographic. Taylor and Travis have a mutually beneficial marketing arrangement. It’s what makes their relationship seem so superficial to me.

I also agree with your points on fandom culture. It’s why I don’t really consider myself to be a “swiftie” in the intense fan way. At the end of the day, all we want is to admire art and form connections within a safe community.

#asks #taylor swift #fandom culture

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masscomm-group-9 · 1 year

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Messages is a 'communicator', so do an 'influencer'

As we all know, even in the earlier or latest generation, a Message is a communication process between two or more individuals to express and utter information. People born before 1973 communicated through face-to-face meetings, telegraphy, or writing letters. However, the invention of technology rapidly expanded all over the world; and it changed how human communicates with each other. Nowadays, messages can be sent through any platform of social media directly or indirectly. "the nonverbal advantage: your 5 tips to boost your influence" says, "You and most anyone, can improve body language to increase presence, influence, and confidence. Many of us don't realize that in everything we do, we are communicating something". Without realizing or not, every action we did was sending messages to others in a non-verbal way.

Talking about social media messages were one of the elements that helped many people proliferate and grow their businesses. Social media has provided a platform where company can promote their product or services of any size, and users can more easily communicate with the sellers or customers personally.

"With over half of the world's population using social media, platforms like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter a natural place to reach new and highly targeted potential customers." Hootsuite discussed how social media helped small or big businesses positively grow to an unrealistic number. On the other hand, social media messages could also help you to sustain your business's reputation management. For example, customers' satisfaction turns into reviews, and people who are buying next will check the reviews to ensure whether your products or services suit your description.

Despite having such unique advantages, social media is considered a harmful element of society. Internal research found that most application used by teenage girls had severely worsened their body image, which is also the main reason that every single of them are linked to depression and anxiety more common to appear, especially in teenagers. As Claude Mellins quoted: "Although there are important benefits, social media can also provide platforms for bullying and exclusion, unrealistic expectations about body image and sources of popularity, normalization of risk-taking behaviors, and can be detrimental to mental health" Social media could become a very harmfulness source if users do not use it wisely. For example, teenagers take a lot of time to be up on current trends on the internet. Most of them are most likely to follow what social media has told them to do as they are still not mature enough to differentiate between things they should or shouldn't do. This acutely destroys their thinking, and they view a different perspective to confront real-life problems. Instead, they will just accept the truth and not find solutions. According to Picture 1 from satista.com, the population of teenagers that are 12 – 17 years old is experiencing major depressive episodes increasing year by year. This shows how teenagers are the most affected by social media harm.

Picture 1 from statista.com

To recapitulate, it is undeniable that social media has both advantages and disadvantages. But it all depends on how users effectively use it. For me, anything used excessively may be dangerous, and social media is the same: If an individual knew how to balance their academic performance, physical activities, and social media. As a result, we must make an effort to lead a balanced and fulfilling life.

References

Danielle S. N.M (2019) 4 Body Language Tips to Improve Virtual Meetings. Process for Profit by Brittany & Co.

Stacey M. & Christina N. (2021) 22 Benefits of Social Media for Business. Hootsuite.

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mariii1 · 2 years

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Will you be a Material Gworl or a Hot Girl this summer?💕

I finally have a masterlist now! 🥳 Sorry if it's not as aesthetically pleasing as other tumblrs, I'm getting there. The next reading I assure you will be spicyyyy and long😈

1: Definitely getting hot girl but we need to talk. You could feel stuck or stagnant right now. I think some of you are very much on guard or you're very open to an unnecessary degree. Like you're letting loose without actually being emotionally vulnerable or maybe you're over-sharing and you're being too open with others. this could be watching/consuming everything around you, particularly stuff from social media. I feel you just don't care about what you see anymore. a lot of you have resigned from the position of being a leader in some way. you just want to be on your own and do your own thing without feeling pressured to. Maybe you were surrounded by people who were very accomplished or you had parents who were very pushy. You may have felt like you were the only one in your group (and this could be age, grade, workplace, whatever) that wasn't super ambitious but now you kind of just accept it for what it is I feel like a lot of you are/going to be unrestrained and sometimes it feels more like escapism than actually just doing what you want. it's giving somebody who goes had strict parents then went to college and went overboard with everything because they don't know how to like moderate themselves without feeling suffocated. Like they tasted freedom for the first time and can’t get enough

2: you might not be either, its giving depressed Tumblr girl for a lot of you ☠️ People are feeling stagnant nowadays maybe my energy is projecting into the reading a little bit, but I thought this was the summer where Covid was finally starting to not get in the way of having fun for real… anyway for some reason I'm getting a lot of you are connected to pile 3 or attracted to pile 3, if you were attracted to it you should check it out, but I'm getting you might feel very limited, like in your head about something or a situation. for some of you this has to do with an idea you are very passionate about, maybe it's not going to as you an anticipated. this could be something you put a lot of time and effort into for some of you, this could even be a fantasy of a relationship with somebody who just rejected you or broke up with you/broke up with them now your dwhole world went upside down. I feel this summer you're going to be grieving a loss in some way or you're going to be very insecure in yourself. I see this might also be because of some other situation that happened fairly recently (it doesn't mean it started recently but it's just something that has been affecting you like since last month or so)

3: This is probably one of the most interesting readings I've done in a very long time. Yall got three 3 major arcanas, 2 of which are in the reverse being the sun and the magician, yet the world is upright and is at the center of the reading very interesting… some of you could have been attracted to pile 2 if you were I suggest you go and read that or you just have some connection to pile 2. So you could be a material girl this summer but for almost all of you you're letting go of this energy of either being extremely optimistic and not making any sort of changes towards your goals (like just waiting for them) you might have really overestimated your work and that sounds harsh but you might have overestimated your capabilities and you might have burnt out really quickly or realized how quickly how what you did/made compared to other people. and this doesn’t mean you’re some entitled narcissistic person but it simply could’ve been you're stepping into a new industry and you thought that you were ok/met the standard. You thought you were qualified in some way and thought you could handle whatever you’re doing but you realized very quickly that there was a lot more stuff you needed to learn and you kind of realized how inexperienced you were. this could also apply to education or knowledge in some type of way as well. So this summer you're going to be studying it up and making sure that you are where you need to be and I feel like you're not going to wait or depend on other people to tell you how you're doing. I think that might have been that what held you back in the first place. They're could’ve been people around you who weren't qualified and shouldn't have tried to give you advice and you took it in thinking that it might have been correct. this summer you're going to level up fr. for most of this is your whole 2022 maybe you've noticed/been working on this since 2020- I guess you are a material grl this summer

4: I'm getting a hot girl but for others you might be a sad girl this summer. There might be a situation that makes you feel very sad like you were betrayed (or will be 😰) you might feel really lonely as if you have no support and you're on your own. I feel like at first you're going to be very upset about this, it may have already happened for some of you but I'm getting for a lot of you this probably will happen in some form. maybe not exactlt as I described it though. you're gonna be finding out the truth about something; you could find out about some possible manipulation that you hadn't recognized before maybe this was somebody that under the disguise of helping you were just trying to get something from you. this could really apply to a lot of situations so take it how it resonates But I feel by the end of the summer, at least by the end of fal,l you're going to be ok you're gonna regain back your strength

5: This group oooh this group is going to have a lot of tea 🍵 I'm specifically getting for a lot of you there could be a man that might have came towards you and offered some sort of romantic or sexual offer and you said no. this might be someone who you have to have a lot of boundaries with. You weren’t necessarily “bitchy” or you could have been a bit rude but you really made it clear that you don't like them. They could have done something you found undesirable I feel like you're going to get a lot of other suitors (some of you might just seem them as flies 🤭) and believe they aren’t worth your time. for others I feel like these are/gonna be people that you may actually have to work with or that you were working with they might get feelings for you or try to get closer to you in some way. I'm gonna say a lot of you really want to stay alone this summer uh so this is very much giving hot girl, like megan thee stallion curving their asses and being unapologetic about it🤧, you could be both a material gworl and a hot girl. ok we love hot girls trying to get money. Yall are v cool. In all honesty this could happen during a school project or something like you're taking summer classes and you have to do group project and people are hitting on you or you're at work and you get a customer thats hitting on you or like your coworker keeps on talking to you

#pick a card #tarot #pac #pick a pile #queer tarot #love tarot reading #tarot reading #pick a deck #pick an image #pick a picture

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shiroganeryo · 3 years

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Komui's Discussion Room content (DGM 27)

Volume 27 has been released recently here in Brazil and I realized the remaining of Komui’s Discussion Room were nowhere to be found in English, but after reading all of it, I thought there are very interesting things hence why I wanted to share!

Please bear in mind this is not a direct translation, but a summary.

I have a lot of criticism when it comes to Viz Media’s release (official English), but I’m quite content with the work Panini, the distributor of D.Gray-Man in Brazil, has done so far with the official Portuguese release. If there are any mistakes, please bear in mind I translated the information directly from their version.

There are 11 questions covered in this summary. For the others, please check Jeidafei’s translations on them (totally recommend it!): Part 1 | Part 2 | Author's note & Thanks Corner | Extra

Without further ado, let’s get into it! This got very long.

≫ Kanda hasn’t reached the “critical point” in synchronization yet (+ why Allen isn’t a General)

In the question “How did Kanda hide having gone past the critical point”, Tiedoll answers that he actually has the potential it takes to do it but hasn’t done it yet. Still on the same question, they answer a related question about Allen’s critical point: “If Allen has reached the critical point, why wasn’t he appointed to become a general during the Order’s reconstruction?”

Allen replies that it was impossible at that time since Central was keeping watch over him. Tiedoll adds that he’s also too young and the only one able to operate the Ark, the latter making Central even more suspicious of him. General Cross’s reputation also seems to have played a part in this, having the higher-ups deem Allen as someone they couldn’t trust enough.

Ryo’s note: Allen thanks Tiedoll for putting his thoughts about Cross into words and Cross simply laughs it off. XD

≫ Sleeping positions

They get asked about their sleeping positions. Tiedoll describes how Kanda sleeps with detail (when younger, in fetal position; nowadays, he sleeps lying on his side, preferentially the right side).

Allen comments that Johnny sleeps sprawled on the floor or the desk and that everyone in the Science Division sleeps like this; when he first saw it, he got concerned thinking something tragic had happened. Johnny says it’s comfortable to sleep like this, but Allen isn’t so sure.

Cross comments on how Allen sleeps; he mentions he likes to sleep hugging something and when he can’t do it, he complains until falling asleep. Allen gets flustered and claims that he got used to sleeping with Tim because he used to be big, but is over it nowadays. Johnny remembers Link used to tell him not to sleep with the piggy-bank, to which Allen replies that it was “not a sleeping position, but survival instincts”.

Kanda comments on how he brought a ton of food to the infirmary one time and says it was annoying to listen to him eating nonstop. Allen replies with sarcasm (“sorry for needing to eat to recover my energies”).

Cross sleeps naked, with his arms open (according to Allen).

Tiedoll sleeps on his stomach, blanket over his face.

Ryo’s note: The time Kanda is referring to is in Chapter 135 (135th Night: Repose, Partly Cloudly).

≫ The symbol on the CROWs' foreheads

Cross replies that it’s probably the compulsory mark of the procedure that transforms regular people in CROWs. Tiedoll says that Cross knows a lot, as expected of someone who’s able to use magic –he shrugs off the compliment – and Kanda asks when and how exactly someone like him learned it. He angrily says he didn’t learn it anywhere and ends the question at Allen’s remark that he always gets angry when people ask.

Ryo’s note: This is interesting. Could imply he was the one to teach magic to Nea (and the Earl himself?), and not the other way around. But, it’s also possible he just didn’t want to answer.

≫ “What is something you find impressive on the other, but have never admitted?”

Johnny decides to start with Kanda and Allen, and the two exchange insults for several lines.

Johnny then passes the baton to the Generals, who do the exact same as their apprentices.

Johnny ends the question with a thank you and sweating nervously.

Ryo’s note: By “insults”, I mean things like Kanda calling Allen a crybaby, and Allen saying Kanda’s dumb. Tiedoll calls Cross a delinquent; Cross calls him “doting dad”. The list goes on…

≫ The time Kanda spent with General Tiedoll right after becoming his apprentice (+ Allen’s time with Cross)

They are asked what was the most outstanding episode from such a time, and Kanda absentmindedly says he forgot. Tiedoll seems disappointed, stating they had made so many marvelous memories together, to which Kanda replies “please stop talking in this weird way”.

Allen asks how the travels were, and Tiedoll says the most important at that time was to take care of mending Kanda’s heart. They spent much time talking about amenities, having contact with plants and animals and admiring beautiful landscapes. Tiedoll believes that getting in touch with beautiful things can help to connect with the world, despite carrying the burden of being a Second; he wanted Kanda to feel like regular people feel about the world.

Johnny and Allen are touched, and the latter comments how jealous he is. Cross then reminds Allen of how many bedsheets he had to wash because of him, making him flustered. He then goes on to remind how not only he did that but also had to feed him – Tiedoll comments on how it seems impossible to imagine Cross doing all that – and even help him change many times.

Allen’s embarrassment reaches the maximum and he threatens to beat Cross if he keeps talking about that.

≫ Stories of when Kanda and Lenalee were little

Kanda tries to shrug the question off, but Johnny insists they answer. Tiedoll says that the two of them were really cute, just like two lilies that bloomed inside the gray scenery of the Order; Kanda tells him to stop.

Allen is uninterested in Kanda, but wants to hear about Lenalee. Cross asks him if he likes her, and says he thought he had a girlfriend in the Asian Branch already. Allen denies it and says both LouFa and Lenalee are his friends; Cross laughs, saying he doesn’t judge, and Allen nearly snaps in irritation (again).

Johnny moves on to answer the question; Kanda is against it, but Tiedoll holds him in place. Johnny tells that Jiji told him that at first, Kanda would be asked if Lenalee could train with him, but he would shrug her off saying he didn’t want to train with a girl, which would make her cry.

Every time Kanda made Lenalee cry, she would run off to Reever. In reality, Johnny thinks she wanted to talk to Komui instead, but she thought he was busy and didn’t want to bother him, resulting in her crying at Reever’s desk. Tiedoll and Allen are weeping at it (they thought it’s cute).

While Reever comforted Lenalee, Marie would appear bringing Kanda along, who had no idea how to apologize, while Lenalee would bashfully hide inside Reever’s lab coat. This kept happening until he eventually accepted to train with her.

Johnny starts telling another story involving Kanda’s meditation and Lenalee coming back tired from a mission, but Kanda interrupts him. Allen says it’s being fun and tells him not to bother.

Kanda tells him to shut up, calling him a bedwetter. Allen snaps (again).

Ryo’s note: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

≫ “Who amongst the Noah would Allen best go along with? Hypothetically speaking.”

Allen and Kanda are worn out from fighting (see the previous question); Johnny is giving them calming tea. Tiedoll says that it seems Allen and Tyki Mikk looked friendly when talking to each other, and Allen interjects saying they’re not friends and that Tyki doesn’t respect the notion of personal space.

He then goes on to say he doesn’t imagine himself being friends with any Noah because they lack common sense. Cross mentions Road and how she’s always being flirty with him, which makes Allen tell him to stop implying things, while sounding unsure about being friends with her or not.

Johnny asks if Allen is embarrassed and reminds Road kissed him. He denies being embarrassed and says that kissing is just a form of greeting for her (he’s sweating nervously while saying so). He adds that, on top of that, he feels like Road sees someone else when she looks at him.

Cross seems amused.

Ryo’s note: This answer is very interesting. It seems to confirm the theory that Road had some kind of connection with past!Allen. We won’t know for sure until it’s revealed, but it does seem to imply such a thing.

≫ The taste of Innocence + the Crystal Type Innocence + Exorcist supplies + Cross suspiciously knowing about the Bookman clan

A reader asks how did Innocence taste like when liquefied; Kanda says it tastes like nothing, similar to water.

Johnny points out the wounds that formed after their Innocence became Crystal types and if they don’t hurt. Kanda says that at the time they don’t, but such wounds won’t heal even with his healing ability – which he concludes makes sense since it’s from where the blood comes out to form the weapons.

Johnny mentions that the Science Division (Komui, more specifically) made Lenalee pills that will prevent anemia. Still on that subject, Allen remembers people had asked what goes inside the bags the Exorcists carry on their uniforms. Johnny says they carry first-aid kits, disinfectants, anti-hemorrhagic meds, and things of the sort. Miranda and Timothy carry sweets with a high intake of calories, Krory carries Akuma blood sweets and Lavi and Bookman asked for migraine meds.

Tiedoll says they are nothing without the support of the Science Division and thanks them. Allen asks about Lavi and Bookman getting migraines. Cross mentions it’s probably from an occupational disease because storing that much information and memories can wreck your head over time.

Allen comments again that he seems to know a lot about the Bookman Clan, and that it’s very suspicious. Cross magnificently shrugs off the question.

≫ Allen’s cheating

Allen gets asked if he becomes bad at luck games (i.e gambling) in case he doesn’t cheat. He says that a bet on luck always rewards something even if gains are small, but Johnny says he’s really bad at things like rock-paper-scissors. Kanda thinks he was just in denial about admitting he’s unlucky.

When scolded by Kanda, Allen says it was a matter of survival and that he never cheated good people on; just bad people.

Johnny says living like this is dangerous and that he should stop; Allen apologizes and says he needs money, and if anything, he can use his Innocence.

Cross is amused and sounds proud. Tiedoll regrets Cross’s influence on Allen.

≫ About Link

Allen gets asked if he has ever seen Link smile, to which he responds he has tried making him laugh/smile, but never could do it. Johnny says that everyone from Central is very serious, especially Link. Tiedoll thinks that it might be forbidden to smile when their superior is Director Lvellie.

Allen goes on to ramble about how Link complained about everything: when he had food on his face after or during eating, asking him to redo reports because they were illegible despite Reever being able to read, scolding him for not drying his hair after going out of the bath because he could get a cold, and how he was a shame for not folding his uniform properly before putting it away.

Cross asks him, “what was he? Your mother?” and Allen says he didn’t get annoyed at him. He wonders if all moms are like this.

Johnny says people were worried when he was assigned to watch Allen, but in the end, Link went along well with everyone and confirms that Allen liked him as well. He also states that Allen’s reports became a lot easier to read thanks to him.

Ryo’s note: Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks: it’s Link appreciation time! *tips hat* Also Allen wondering about how mothers treat their children was just precious, even if it’s a throwaway comment.

≫ The vibe at the Black Order

In the question “Who runs faster, Komui or Reever?”, Johnny says that he thinks Reever is faster; Allen adds that Komui cheats by using Komurin, though. Kanda gets annoyed and tells them they (at the Science Division) should make Komui behave accordingly to his role. Johnny sniffs and says that they try.

Tiedoll says that it’s actually good that Komui is cheerful because the Order used to be a very different place until he took over the post, and that he (Tiedoll) disliked the gloomy aura it used to have. Allen remembers Lenalee commented about it once and asks if the Order was really this different back then. Tiedoll says that even if it’s been built with a noble purpose, human beings aren’t perfect and a lot of things get distorted over a hundred years. He recommends Allen to ask For about it, as she has existed ever since the Order was founded and protects it to this day.

Allen is sad and comments he wants to visit the Asian Branch again someday. Johnny says he’ll go with Allen, but the latter says he would want to eat Jeryy’s food again before that. Cross sneers and wishes good luck.

They wrap it up at this, and both Kanda and Allen look very happy about being done with the Discussion Corner (as noted by Johnny). Tiedoll bids Cross adieu, and says “rest in peace, Marian” – to which he replies “don’t treat me like a ghost”.

Allen says he knows Cross is an illusion created by his weakness, but that he was happy to see him (in reference to the 222nd Night: Searching for A.W - Hypokrisis). Cross tells him not to exaggerate.

Johnny is content that they could finally keep it to the ideal number of pages – something the Discussion Corner is known to usually have trouble with. Tiedoll says that if they had gone overboard, the next issue’s Discussion Corner would be canceled, and wraps up thanking everyone who has cared about Yu so far and asks that people keep cheering for him.

Johnny thanks the readers for sending their questions. Allen and Kanda are relieved it’s over.

Ryo’s note: And that’s it! Man, this got LONG. Thank you very much for reading until the end. Can’t wait for the next Discussion Room, the way Tiedoll worded it makes it seem like it’ll be on the next volume, 28. I’m excited!

If you're interested in seeing more DGM content from me, feel free to check my masterlist here.

#d.gray-man #d.gray man #komui's discussion corner #komui's lounge #Allen Walker #Johnny Gill #Kanda Yuu #Cross Marian #Froi Tiedoll #DGM #I sure hope I didn't count wrong the number of questions #math isn't my forte at all #as for the palette requests: I'm currently working on them!

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latin-dr-robotnik · 4 years

Note

You mentioned western localizations messing with Amy. Can you elaborate if you don't mind?

Of course!

I think the first thing to keep in mind throughout all of this is that I was referring to the old notion of “Amy is a psycho girl chasing after someone who isn’t remotely interested in her”. This is the big impression Sonic games (and I guess to some extent Archie Sonic, but I don’t want to get in there) left on fans during the 2000′s, and it comes mostly due to two main reasons:

The differences in western culture versus japanese culture (how we see relationships in general, the actual tropes surrounding Amy, etc.)

How the actual localization process was handled for each game, like the way Amy acts toward Sonic and other characters, how the games play said acts (cute vs annoying) and the way Sonic reacts to her presence.

It’s no secret that localization works during that era were spotty at best (that’s why you hear Ryan’s Sonic yelling “teriaaaa!” in SA2, or the general weirdness surrounding SA1), and while I personally don’t blame the people that worked on localizing the games (after all, the overall quality of videogame storytelling was pretty shaky back in the early 2000′s), I can’t ignore just how damaging those works ended up being for the canon. For example, cutegirlmayra talked about the differences between japanese and western Sonic for years now, take this quote from her post, a quote that I believe nails this whole thing on the head:

America treats Sonamy much like they do their franchise, a meme or joke to be poked fun of. Whereas, with a much more refined atmosphere, Japan treats Sonamy as an endearing and lovely couple. Though both resign to say they can’t really see Sonic ever ‘settling down’ or really being focused on romance. And,… that makes since to me. Knowing who Sonic is. But even that doesn’t mean he can’t have a crush XD (The heart wants what the heart wants, lol!)

More recently, stuff like “Unfortunately, I’m not inconvenient for my girlfriend” came to light, and that’s one of many examples where japanese Sonic was way ahead of its western self. This particular quote is from Sonic Battle and in the english version you don’t get anything remotely similar to that, instead Amy is left to look like she’s a crazy stalker, or that Sonic doesn’t accept her advances to a degree (that’s one major problem, how western Sonic tends to feel like he’s actually rejecting Amy while she keeps on trying.) It’s not coincidence that Sonic Battle is regarded as one of the worst portrayals of Amy in a Sonic game.

If you start digging on what the creators actually intended for Amy, you'll find lots of good intentions toward her and the framing of her dynamic with Sonic (which isn’t the only aspect of Amy, mind you, but my claims about western localization originally came from a SonAmy post so I naturally focused on that, sorry haha.)

For example, last year I looked into how Sonic Unleashed handled SonAmy, and while my initial research was pretty sweet (the english version of Unleashed!Amy is really good if you spend time talking to her), the real kicker came as soon as we (me and cutegirlmayra) started looking into interviews with ex-Sonic Team writer Shiro Maekawa and cross-referencing information regarding the actual writers that were involved during that 2000′s era. The result? There was an entire council at SEGA of Japan dedicated to approve the way Sonic characters were presented in all official media, and they approved all of the key SonAmy moments back then, even more that western audiences didn’t get to see (more on that below.) Most if not all the japanese Sonic writers involved in that era (Maekawa was both a writer and part of said council) left around the end of the decade, after Sonic Unleashed (2008) and Sonic and the Black Knight (2009), and ever since that most of the problems shifted from “this is how SEGA of America is localizing Sonic games” to “this is the very poor state of Sonic writing in general”, so, dead end for now.

Then you have situations like with Sonic X, a show handled by Sonic Team and the official Sonic writers of that era working in some of the most iconic episodes... just to see their work censored by 4kids in America and the subsequent dubs that used that version as a basis (from what I’ve heard not all dubs are censored, though.) That’s why you’ll see fans imploring you to watch Sonic X in japanese instead of the english dub, since the series was a lot more involved with the pairing and the general simbolism of some of its touching moments (they used actual love songs for them, for crying out loud), which led to some funny facts, like how the Latin American Spanish and the French dub both ignored the mandate about muting Sonic’s words to Amy in Episode 52, leading to moments like Sonic promising Amy he won’t leave her again (LatAm) or just straight up telling he loves her (the french were on fire with that one.) Sonic X was the one true vision of Sonic Team, and the way it was butchered for western audiences is still baffling to this day.

So, what’s the deal with Amy then? In theory she’s a cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl with a very strong sense of justice, super-determined to help anyone in need (even enemies like Metal Sonic) and, depending on the situation, pretty impulsive. She’s particularly loyal to her friends, and she acts like the emotional support of the group. You’ll see her filling that role regardless of how good or bad the localization is (SA2 Amy helped Shadow realize his true purpose, Heroes Amy is the beating heart of her whole team, Unleashed Amy is the only one who doesn’t lose hope on Sonic when Perfect Dark Gaia rises); yet the ways by which these traits were shown in the games varied a lot, and that’s how we reached a point where a good chunk of the fandom thinks Amy is a stalker. Japan portrayed her acts as cute, as very respectable traits of a great female character; the west portrayed her mostly as a nuisance the gang had to carry around, even to the point of misinterpreting some of her quotes that aren’t actually bad (for example: “If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!“ in Sonic ‘06.) And while this is no longer the case, nowadays there’s a whole different discussion surrounding making Amy better by making her “more mature” (which is also another topic raised here in the west, like, this whole discussion never ends! haha)

I feel like I got lost and came back several times while writing this reply. At the end of the day, it’s a long topic to tackle and I think the best I can do right now is forward you some more information. My friend beev did some great work translating my own Spanish articles tackling the Japan vs Western differences (it’s pretty much most of this reply.) And then there’s @skull001, he’s very vocal about the ways Amy’s character was messed with (including stuff like Amy being missing from the back of Advance 1′s box, the Sonic X english dub or the fact SEGA is still reluctant to count her as part of Team Sonic), and if there’s someone I’d listen when it comes to knowing pretty much everything about Amy, it’s gotta be him... and cutegirlmayra, of course. I hope this helped, though!

#ask latin dr robotnik #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonamy #sega #hannahcbrown #i'm sorry this took way too long to write haha

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ngansix · 2 years

Text

Week 6: Unrealistic beauty standards on social media: What can we do?

Nowadays, social media is one of the most significant factors affecting an individual's mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. It has been known to play a role in affecting beauty trends, body image and self-esteem concerns, even resulting in serious issues such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and Identity Dissonance. Overall, beauty standards have been set too high in our society due to social media, causing harmful consequences on people, especially the young, but the question is: what should we do when living in such a society?

First and foremost, the environmental factors, which is social media, definitely need to be changed. Fortunately, many of the social media companies have acknowledged the burning issue and have started to take actions against it for the good of their people. Some mentions are:

Instagram bans ‘cosmetic surgery’ filters: As announced by Meta, the company is “removing all effects associated with plastic surgery from the Instagram Effect Gallery” (Spark AR Creators 2019). They’ve also restricted posts that promoted weight loss products and plastic surgery since then.

Pinterest bans weight loss ads: In July 2021, Pinterest began to update their ad policies to prohibit all ads with weight loss language and imagery, in the effort of embracing body acceptance (Pinterest 2021)

It’s still a long way to go, but these actions have shed some light on our way towards a better environment on social media. Moreover, beauty brands that used to promote unrealistic standards are shifting their focus away from social media-driven perfection and toward more progressive views on the human body. Unilever has announced in 2021 that it will be removing "normal" from all of its beauty and personal-care brands' packaging and advertising. The company said it would also ban excessive editing of models' photos. Glow Recipe, a Korean-American skincare brand that promoted the concept of “glass skin”, will now avoid unrealistic terms like flawless, poreless, ageless, anti-wrinkle, anti-aging and perfect across all brand touchpoints (Chitrakon 2021). Brands nowadays, as they should, are becoming more aware of inclusivity and they are making many efforts in changing their images.

Second, people themselves also need to learn to value themselves in ways that have nothing to do with physical appearance or social media. This means continuing to battle racism as well as sexism, both of which reduce opportunities for young girls and women to experience their own agency and to engage authentically with others (Greenwood 2021). Also, it is important to develop a strong sense of self-acceptance. Some of the exercises that could help are:

Practice gratitude: Every day, write down three to five things you’re grateful for. This can help you retrain your brain to focus on the positive.

Meditate: A regular meditation practice can help you detach from your negative thoughts. This can refocus your attention on more positive emotions, relationships, and behaviors.

Forgive yourself: Think of an action or mistake for which you would like to forgive yourself. Identify and write down any self-judgments you have about the situation. Then, forgive yourself for that belief. Forgiveness for past mistakes and regrets is an essential step toward self-acceptance (Waters 2021)

References:

1, Chitrakon, K 2021, 'Perfection is passé: Brands redefine beauty marketing', Vogue Business, 2 August 2021

<https://www.voguebusiness.com/beauty/perfection-is-passe-brands-redefine-beauty-marketing>

2, Greenwood, D 2021, 'The BBL Bubble: How Social Media Fuels Body Modification', Psychology Today, viewed 23 March 2022

<https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mirror-mirror/202108/the-bbl-bubble-how-social-media-fuels-body-modification>

3, Pinterest 2021, 'Pinterest embraces body acceptance with new ad policy', Pinterest, 1 July, viewed 23 March 2022

<https://newsroom.pinterest.com/en/post/pinterest-embraces-body-acceptance-with-new-ad-policy>

4, Spark AR Creators 2019, Update on Well-Being Policies, 18 October, viewed 23 March 2022

<https://www.facebook.com/groups/SparkARcommunity/permalink/733132997098745/>

5, Waters, S 2021, 'The path to self-acceptance, paved through daily practice', 5 August, BetterUp, viewed 23 March 2022

<https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-acceptance#:~:text=Self%2Dacceptance%20is%20the%20act,your%20personal%20attributes%20and%20actions.>

#mda20009 #beauty standards #social media

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pinkbarefacedbeauty · 3 years

Text

The Darkling is Problematic

Ok, admittedly I haven’t gotten around reading the book yet. I was watching the show…for the 4th time, I just caught something. I guess I might be slow or something because I literally just caught what was said.

Everyone at this point knows that the Darkling is a pedophile simply off the fact that he is over centuries old by trying to mess with Alina.

I don’’t know what people’s obsession with old ass men messing with teenage girls. Like you don’t even have the girl be of legal age? Doesn’t make it any better but you don’t even want it to be a woman in her thirties or mid-twenties, at the very least??

Even worse, it is a known fact that these type of books and media are targeted to teenage girls and their exaggerated imagination. I remember being in my teens and thirsting after older men and books that I could imagine myself as this betty sue character who all the guys are fawning over. Like i’d take off my glasses and i’d be banging hot.(because in media wearing glasses always equated to ugliness for some reason. No, for real, the heroine would literally take off her glasses, put a little eyeliner and lip gloss and suddenly everyone loved her new revealing style. Overnight hottie.) Like there are actual adults writing and encouraging pedophilia.

Leigh Bardugo wrote possibly everything about the Darkling being creepy as fuck. She didn’t intend for the Darkling to end up with Alina. She made it known how toxic he was. Like even in the Netflix show, you see his background and feel like “awww, how sad” but that doesn’t change all the creepy and horrible shit he has done since then. In her book and show, it is very clear that she is not shipping the Darkling and Alina together. She is making the darkling as villainous as possible.

The Darkling reads Alina’s letters to Mal. This is not some high school boy who stupidly thinks that reading the diary of the girl he likes would bring him closer to her because he just so really likes her.

This is a man who is over a century old invading the privacy of a 17 year old girl through reading her letters. He reads her letters to find information on how to manipulate her, and he does just that. He feeds her this boohoo story of how he was never accepted and how he was mistreated based on his ancestor’s actions (like she was mistreated because she was half-shu). Everything he does is to get her to only lean on him: the random horseback excursions, the gloves, the story, etc.

Classic abuser behavior (besides actual abuse like collaring her) is to try and make her feel isolated and dependent on him, cutting her off from the people that actually loves her. He tries and make it seem like he is the only person she can lean on. There are literally people that find it adorable that not only did he read her letters to Mal, manipulate her with the information in those letters, but that he also never had her letters sent out to Mal. They say, “Omg, he’s jealous of Mal”, like…. no, Mal is an obstacle to his ability to have Alina under his thumb. He even uses the information that Mal gave him about her favorite flowers to then give said flowers to this naive, and love-starved little girl. You know what would have been a better present? Let Alina see Mal, her one true North (As he knows from creepily reading her letters).

Like y’all really want a man that cuts you off from your home and family, goes through your mail without permission, guilt trips you (everyone at Little Palace was doing so), abuses you, and makes you feel as if you’re nothing without him??? People are really obsessed with toxicity nowadays. Like i’m honestly scared for this world.

If he was actually caring for Alina and looking out for her best interest, he would have (1) let her letters be delivered and receive letters to and from Mal, (2) he would have let Alina see Mal. Everyone else in Little Palace receives letters from loved ones but her. He would have done everything to make sure her new residency made her feel welcomed.

The excuse of locking her up in Little Palace was for protection from the rest of the world, which made sense as we watched/read about the Grisha hunters. That was like okay, there was no choice in order to protect her. But the rest of his actions are completely inexcusable. His mother basically said it might have started off with good intentions, but he is just power hungry. When you are at war, there is bound to be casualties, but he is treating the Grisha as expendable tools to get his revenge against the country.

Not only does he pimp out Genya to the king, but like his own mother said, he has had centuries to master manipulating naive little girls. He literally told Zoya and Alina the same thing “You and I are going to change the world”. The scene I just noticed and was thrown off by because it was the most overt thing was when Zoya basically sexually propositioned the Darkling, because it usually took his mind off of whatever was bothering him. Like old times….LIKE OLD TIMES??!

Now, Zoya’s age is listed as 19-20 in the first book. But her saying “like old times” doesn’t give me the impression of one year ago or hell even four years ago. It seems like a distant past. That would mean this man who is over a century old was messing around with Zoya while she was even younger than Alina’s age (17) in first book. He has messed with countless young/underage impressionable girls who felt like they had no one else to rely on. He is literally preying on children and people are…..shipping this?

People like to excuse when gross ass men mess with 17 year old girls because (1) they are 17 year old girls themselves and consider themselves grown and the man to be hot or (2) they think that since they are only one year from 18 that that makes them grown.. Like no, these are still children. Literally, most people don’t even fully mature until age 25, some people for longer. But seventeen, eighteen, nineteen….these are still teenagers. Children. Then people want to say, ‘well that’s how it was back then!!! blah blah blah’……so you decide to ship it rather the more healthy, legal and logical choice??

It’s like people will shame you for shaming them for liking pedophilia. Like if you know it is gross as hell and you ship it, how can you blame others for shaming you? People like to call it kink-shaming. But I think that just diverts attention away from the issue. This is not shaming someone for liking to be spanked or their hair pulled. This is shaming grown ass men and women for encouraging pedophilia.

If he looked like Jason Voorhees under the mask, then these same people thirsting over the Darkling would be anything but supportive. But hey, I guess foul and disgusting evil behavior can all be excused if it is a hot guy with a sad story, right?

There were also people complaining about how older Ben Barnes looked than Jessi Mei Li, even if he is hot. Y’all know the character is supposed to be over a century right? Y’all should be satisfied that he didn’t show up looking like Albus Dumbledore. That’s the whole point…of how older he is than everyone around him. He is supposed to look older because *SURPRISE!* he is way older than her.

Like the more I rewatch, I catch up all the little things and it just disturbs me even more that people are encouraging this. I can’t control what people think in their heads, but don’t fuck up the rest of the generation by encouraging this disgusting shit. It creeps me the fuck out.

#leigh bardugo #shadow and bone #alina starvok #netflix

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arcticdementor · 3 years

Link

A reader writes:

I’m writing to you today because I have some information to share with you (and your readers) who may still be skeptical that this LGBTQIA+ gender-identity craze is coming for their kids. Some recent interactions online have made me more aware than ever that the movement is spreading in wild and unpredictable ways, and also made me reflect on how, in my own life, even someone like me could have fallen victim to it.

I want to start off by saying that recently, (and ironically, in an attempt to try not to be sucked into the internet as purely a source for doom and gloom: you will see how this backfires on me) I decided to rejoin a fan community surrounding one of my favorite franchises on Twitter. I won’t go into too much detail about which community and the exact specifics, but just know that it’s a popular franchise that’s appropriate for older kids, teens and adults (nothing 18+, nothing for really little ones). As a teen myself I was fairly active in a similar branch of this community on another social media platform (Facebook), and enjoyed it immensely before the platform eventually went more or less defunct as a hot-spot for fan content. Most of the content was fan-created work (like fan-art or fan-fiction) with a little interaction and lots of “DID YOU SEE THE LATEST” kinds of posts.

…

Anyway, to keep it to a minimum, that was then. If you’ve been on the internet any time in the last five years you know that spaces where people just talk about an interest and don’t mix it with politics and activism are becoming few and far between. Even though I knew this, and knew that I wasn’t going to have the same experience in a different place, something sparked an interest in me to go try to reconnect with my internet roots in a different setting. So, I followed some hashtags, quickly found some new followers and settled back to enjoy at least marginally some discussions online that didn’t have to do with Covid and All The Ways We Are All Going To Die.

Then came the teenagers.

Much like when I was a kid, this franchise attracts a lot of younger people. So it was hardly surprising to me to find that many of my new followers were in the 14-18 age range and that people like myself (mid-older 20s) were a sort of senior majority. That was fine- Twitter’s rules after all are 13+, so it’s not unreasonable to assume if you’re part of a popular group that you’ll interact on occasion with minors. That wasn’t the part I found strange. The part I found strange was that all of them, and I repeat, all of them were fans of two things- the franchise, and gender identities.

You can actually almost pinpoint the age range of the 18 and under crowd by how many of them have the following: 1. Pronouns in bio and in username. 2. Gender identity or lack thereof displayed in bio or username. 3. LGBTQ+ sexual orientation displayed in bio or username. etc. etc. etc. I’m not going to dive into it too much, because some might be saying “isn’t that just normal nowadays? Even politicians do that?” Well, you’re not wrong if that’s what you’re thinking. And that’s not the part that disturbs me.

What disturbed me was that, a few weeks after I joined the group, I started noticing an unsettling pattern among many of these teenage users (and many over-teen users, but I’m trying to make a point about the young ones specifically). For a few days, after an interesting bit of news or a trailer or some other thing that unites franchises, the posts in my feed would be primarily things like what I remembered from past experiences: posts about the franchises, theories, speculations, fanart, etc. But, every time things would settle back down into a quiet, normal week, the feeds in my post became almost entirely about one thing: Gender and LGBTQ talking points. I’m going to diverge for one second and say that many people in this group aren’t using a personal, front-facing account for their interactions in this fan-group. They’re mostly using alt-accounts with no real names and faces attached (myself included). And yet, every time the discussion in the feeds died down to where there was just no new stuff about the franchise to talk about, all the conversation slowly but surely shifted back to sexual orientation and gender. From fan-ships of perfect LGB couples to ‘hey I drew this person but as a trans-female!’ to even forgoing pretending to talk about their interests and just discussing their own gender and sex presentation with their other online friends, it became quickly very clear to me that A. I no longer really belonged here and B. Every single one of these kids was obsessed. Every. Single. One.

…

I’m going to digress and talk about myself for a minute to explain just why these examples, particularly that last one, burn a hole in my soul. From the minute I was old enough to remember, I’ve never been one of those typically presenting females. When my sisters and I played dress-up as kids, they played princesses and I played a prince or a witch or whatever was more interesting. In addition to the dolls and barbies I had being one of three girls, I also had an assortment of boy-oriented toys, including action figures, a remote control car and this really cool nerf bow-and-arrow set that I still secretly wish had survived my playing with it because man, my kids are gonna miss out someday. My hair was short because I hated wearing it up and the solution was a bob, and when we spent time with relatives I could be found as far away from my female cousins as possible, hanging out with my male cousins and talking about Legos and Lord of The Rings. I spent 90% of my time reading books and ignoring reality, and didn’t put much effort into my appearance until probably age 13 or later.

And I wished I was a boy.

It wasn’t an all-consuming thought, but I thought it. I wished, many times, when my parents would fuss at me to please stop attempting to climb trees in your Sunday clothes and when my sisters never talked about anything but dolls and tea-parties around their friends that I could be one of the boys. I had always liked the boys and their world better, and I fit into better, and yet there was that little problem (that I was still a girl) that kept me from being accepted into the boy group. The reality was, I was already probably very intelligent for my age (too-well read children can relate) and I took that big-headedness a little too far at times. I was also a very emotional person (still am) and just passionately felt that being a girl and being expected to do girl things was hideous and unfair.

The saving grace? My mom was the same. She’s never been a typical female either, and though as adults we have some clear differences (ironically, I have more stereotypical female interests/talents than her- like a hidden passion for interior decorating and a love of baking and so on) she was there for me, to be able to tell me that no- I didn’t really want to be a boy, I was just a girl who liked sword fights and grass-stains more than ballgowns and tea parties, and that was okay!!! She was proof that there were other girls like me, and that I would find more of them eventually (I did) and, even though we never said so in so many words, that stereotypes and how we fit into them has nothing to do with our innate female and male selves. And so, reassured that I could be female and still be however I wanted, I eventually grew out of those thoughts, and as I matured, found that there were ‘female things’ I connected with that my past self was too young to appreciate.

But, think about all this in a modern context. I’m a happy adult female now, and I was never truly gender-questioning. I just thought, for a while, that boys had more fun than I did, so I wanted to be one. But that, in it of itself, is a thought that’s deep enough for modern gender activists to insist I be transitioned immediately and put on life-altering hormones, never given a chance to grow up or grow out of questioning, and affirmed in my presentation instantly! If I, like that young girl online, had been handed a ‘gender-affirming’ flag and an identity that ‘made sense’ out of why I was different from my peers, I might have jumped on it, especially without the presence of a wise older person to tell me I wasn’t anything different than what she’d been as a child. This is the problem, this is why this kind of thing is so dangerous and toxic and wrong.

#the american conservative #letter from a reader #online fan communities

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icewindandboringhorror · 4 years

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Okay, here’s a final answer, just for clarification -

Firstly, please understand that I’m not angry, and I’m not upset. I just tend to speak very matter of factly, I guess? If I seem cold or something when typing this response, it's not a personal attack towards you or some display of aggression, that's just how I word things sometimes, I don't mean for them to be misinterpreted or want you to think I’m like getting mad with you or etc. Me disagreeing does not inherently equal me being mad about something, it merely means that I disagree, which is an emotion neutral action. If someone said 2+2 = 6, I would disagree, and openly so, but that doesn’t mean I’d also be like, crying about it or upset with them or something lol.

I actually even stated so at the end of my tags last time -

So, I apologize if you interpreted my tone as being mean, but I was simply trying to be firm and direct in how I said things so you understand that it's a very serious matter, and I didn't want to be light about it.

There was a bit of jokiness/sarcasm/exaggeration as well I suppose, but again, that’s not an inherent indicator of upset, just the way I speak - especially when your question can be seen as rude to begin with (which usually leads people to care less about faking positive emotions or seeming polite to others. If a person is not polite to you, you’re not likely to watch how you communicate as much or attempt to display high politeness back). My default state is a neutral flatness as I have a very shallow emotional range (shout out to schizophrenia spectrum negative symptoms and other various issues lol), any excessive positivity or “perkiness” or something that I display is just an attempt to be polite and communicate with others in a simple and kindly manner (in real life I’m often seen as too stoic, blunt, detached, cold, etc. lmao, so in general communication with strangers I tend to overcompensate to being excessively polite instead) - but that also means I can accidentally drop that sometimes if I’m being “real” or whatever.

Anyway, now that concerns over my tone have hopefully been explained, I’ll address this issue about your previous ask in a numbered list. Please read ALL of this, if you are actually taking this seriously. If you don’t actually read, in detail (no skimming), this entire response, then this is not even a discussion since you’re not willing to genuinely engage in the first place. -

Firstly, here is the original ask, for reference ----

As for how your question can be rude:

(1.) In my initial response (in the tags of your answer), I asserted various things, mostly that the question was rude, and that it’s not appropriate to ask people, for a variety of reasons. I’ll explain those in more length here.

My main point is that even asking the question in the first place is rude. It doesn’t matter how specifically you word it, it’s not appropriate. Just like any personal issue. At least in my culture, it’s typically thought of as inconsiderate and inappropriate to ask random strangers personal questions. for example, it would be rude to approach a random stranger on the bus that you’ve never even seen before and ask them why the have the haircut they do, who their sexual partners are, if they’ve just had a death in the family, how well their marriage is going, what their gender is, etc. etc.

(2.) On top of this personal boundary issue, another concern would be that the nature of the question itself is baseless --

Would you ask a cis woman why they're a woman? Or a cis man why he chose to be a man? Would you ask a straight person why they chose to be straight?

Would you find it acceptable and polite if a random stranger approached you on the street and asked you for an explanation as to why you're the gender you are? Imagine that exact scenario happening to you, and if you would find it odd or overstepping boundaries at all.

I doubt you ask this same gender identity question to everyone in your life, to your parents, friends, the cashier at your grocery store. Why is it only certain groups that need to explain or justify their identities to you? Only certain groups that you feel the inherent need to question? It's a double standard which further serves to prove the question itself is unnecessary.

(3.) Additionally, in case you're genuinely unsure of tone (maybe you have difficulty reading social cues or something, that’s understandable) I will explain - the way in which the question was asked has certain implications.

The statement “Why are you nonbinary? You seem like a pretty girl to me”, implies that - due to your beliefs about me/how you see me, you find it confusing that I could have a certain identity that you see as not matching your perception of me, or that you see as an invalid label, and are asking for me to justify or explain myself/my identity to you because of that.

Even if this implied meaning was not intentional, it is what most people will interpret upon reading the question, and would be a commonly held understanding. There are other ways you could have asked the question which would be less condescending, yes, but again, the other points still stand (like that the question in itself is impolite to ask to strangers, etc.)

Again, revisit the imaginary scenario of a stranger approaching you on the street and asking you why you’re the gender you are - would there not be some of this implication present? For example, say you’re a man - would it not feel as if someone were questioning your manhood, or implying you weren’t truly a man, or must not be a man ‘correctly’, or that ‘man’ is not a valid label for how they see you? Why else would they approach you and ask you in confusion for you to justify your identity to them? The implication is that they don’t see you as a valid man, or at least not how they see a man, and thus are having a hard time accepting that someone like YOU could ever be a real man - that it’s hard for them to believe you are what you say you are, because they see you differently.

(3.a) As an additional sidenote (one which I addressed in the tags replying to you initially), your ask (as well as this more recent one) also made certain assumptions. There are plenty of people who ''look like girls'' or 'look like boys' but aren't as they “seem”, even if you're someone who only believes in a “binary biological sex model” (I’ll include some links at the end about this). It's strange to assume someone's body parts or identity just based off of pictures you see on the internet (which often have specific lighting, angles, or in the case of many people are even edited and etc. I don't do this but it's really common nowadays with phone editing apps and stuff). Just because I appear a certain way to you, in no way implies that I have the physical form and traits you assume I have Consider how you may feel invalidated or uncomfortable if people sent you messages assuming personal things about you that are incorrect or that they have no way to possibly know.

Your standards and perception are also not universal, various cultures and groups have different ideas about what outward traits would make someone considered a “man” or a “woman”, so making your judgement of someone else’s identity based only on your own (extremely shallow, since it’s only from online pictures) perception of them, is also inherently a bit flawed.

(3.b-ish side tangent) In extension to this, your ideas and how you view me are likely incorrect. Just as it is similarly true that, from afar, any assumptions I make about you would likely be inaccurate as well. We are strangers.

For example, if you really knew me, you would know that I don’t pride myself in costumes and makeup - It’s a fun creative activity for me definitely, but I feel no pride over it, I don’t do it to look good or seem a certain way, and actually I resent it in a way, because often it feels like people mostly only pay attention to blurry pictures of me looking silly in cheap wigs, but don’t give that same level of engagement to the other more important things I do that I personally care about 100x more, like my worldbuilding and other projects lol. Absolutely nothing against the people who like my costumes, I appreciate them of course!!, and I still love doing costumes - BUT, to imply that it’s a primary source of pride in my life or a characteristic that defines me over other things, would be a mischaracterization.

Anyone who knows me in real life would certainly list a million other stand-out traits to define me, rather than ‘pretty make up woman’ (most people I know in real life would also not describe me as ‘pretty’ or as a ‘woman’, just for reference lol).

Your one sided perception of me (which I’ll address in the next section) may allow you to have a shallow idea of me as some sweet pretty costume girl or something, but just know that the reality is more like: I haven’t had much time lately to do costumes because I’m working on a game and other art which I see as much more important, I haven’t bathed or brushed my hair in weeks because of mental illness/functioning issues, 99% of the time I’m not ‘’dressed up’’ - I wear the same pajamas and cardigan that I’ve worn for the past 3 years and barely wash to the point that it’s disintegrating and leaves fabric scraps around the house lol, I have a little moustache right now and a unibrow and other “””non-womanly”””” traits (at least by common media western standards, which is what I assume you go by), I’m excessively analytical, detached, and in real life you would probably see me as blunt and cold and cynical (also commonly missing social cues) - as well as being hugely asocial/ a hermit and mostly lacking the ability to form attachments to others (So definitely not ~pretty and cute and approachable~ ghgg), I have obsessive compulsive disorder and am regularly so anxious that I’m throwing up and have various other issues - I’m also not Fun or Cool or Spontaneous because I’m too busy being rigid and high strung lol (even before the pandemic, I don’t like to leave the house or interact much at all with others, I’d rather be in my little controlled environment where I don’t have overwhelming sensory information and distractions raising my anxiety constantly),, and my favorite activities are literally all just stuff like pacing around my home alone talking to myself in different voices creating gods and fake religions for my fantasy worldbuilding while I eat boiled cabbage and light little pieces of paper on fire over a candle to help me think - not doing makeup and other Pretty Woman Things.

Which I don’t want to be too harsh or focus on this tangent too much, since obviously as you don’t know me in real life, these are all things you couldn’t possibly be aware of, and it simply comes with the territory of posting publicly online - so I absolutely don’t blame you for perceiving me incorrectly. If “pretty” pictures are all you see, then that may very well be the only impression that you have. I just personally dislike this certain interpretation some people have seemed to have of me (you’re not the first person to think of me as a Pretty Makeup Girl or whatever lol), since it’s so completely opposite from the truth of who I am, I feel the need to explain it like this sometimes. Just accepting the false perception some people have of me without any argument feels disingenuous and like supporting a version of myself that doesn’t exist.

So anyway, no issue with you personally, but just trying to set the perception of me straight a little more accurately lol.. now, back on topic --

(4.) Lastly, and here’s the main thing I’d like to stress, there's the issue of personal boundaries. Again, you're a complete stranger to me, I don't know who you are, and you have no idea who I am. Even if you've followed me online for years and read every post I've ever made, you still have no idea who I truly deeply am, only a vague scattering of snapshots over time.

Here are some definitions for Parasocial Relationships:

“Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.”

“Parasocial interaction (PSI) refers to a kind of psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters with performers in the mass media, particularly on television.[1] PSI is described as an illusionary experience, such that media audiences interact with personas (e.g., talk show host, celebrities, fictional characters, social media influencers) as if they are engaged in a reciprocal relationship with them. The term was coined by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1956. “

This is all anyone can ever have with people they follow online. You can perceive them, but you cannot know them or truly understand them. I think this is very important to remain cognizant of in such a massive social media age, as often times people are fostering one sided concepts that are inaccurate or unhealthy (no so much with just you sending me a simple ask, but in a broader sense, how people act towards celebrities, other bloggers, etc. etc. seems to have little boundaries, and often results in a similar manner with people forgetting to maintain acceptable boundaries with those they follow or know about from afar).

-- This next part is very important, I think it’s a super valuable way of thinking about this sort of stuff, so if you take away nothing else from this, at least remember this next portion --

A very good way to think about online boundaries that I heard someone mention in a post once (though I can no longer find the post), is to take whatever you're going to say to someone online, and imagine saying it in person, in real life, to a barista. Before you send an ask or make a comment, think about if it’s something you would really genuinely say face to face to a stranger.

Would you walk into a random Starbucks and ask the dude at the counter a bunch questions about their gender identity? Or about his personal life in general? You probably recognize that that would be strange and socially inappropriate. It's similarly inappropriate in a case like this.

Even though you may feel a sense of familiarity with someone online from reading their social media posts, or even speaking to them once or twice through asks and etc. etc., at the end of the day you don’t really know each other much more than you’d know a random stranger.

Unless someone is inviting personal questions (like by reblogging those ‘ask me anything’ posts or etc.), or has the sort of blog where they are commonly asking people about/discussing their own intimate personal experiences or etc. (mine is not this way), then questions like this are very out of the blue and similar to asking a random person working at a store things like that. It can be seen as rude and inappropriate in general to give those sorts of questions to people who are complete strangers, and typically comes off as crossing personal boundaries. Again, think about a random stranger asking you these questions, and how you may perceive it.

In summary:

1. The question itself is borne from an double standard and isn't very good to ask in the first place. 2. The way you asked the question was worded with certain implications. 3. Your ask is also assuming certain things that you don't know are true, which can be uncomfortable for some people. 4. Even were it not for the three other things, it's commonly considered rude in many cultures to ask serious questions about the personal details of complete strangers, even if it's online. It could prove useful to utilize the ‘barista test’ to better determine this in the future.

Final Thoughts:

Anyway, I wasn't mad and I have no beef with you or whatever lol. Hopefully you can understand what I mean. I've also explained myself as well as I think I can though, so I don't feel like discussing it any more and won't respond to further asks about this. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now (as I'm sure everyone does given the pandemic and everything, you probably do too, so hopefully you can empathize with that), so I’d like to limit my time spent online, especially discussing topics I already don’t like to discuss or am not open to accepting questions about (I just want to talk about cats and elves and stuff lol).

If you still can't at least kind of get where I'm coming from then it's perfectly fine to just agree to disagree. If aspects of myself upset you or cause you discomfort, then there's no harm in just unfollowing me or something! Or if you don't even follow me, I would encourage you to block me so my posts no longer come across your dash (or block/unfollow me on whatever other social media you may be seeing my posts on ,etc)., etc. That way you don't have to see content or hear from someone who makes you uncomfortable that way, and there also won't be any need for this to come up in the future. Part of using the internet in a healthy and productive manner is to know when to disengage with certain content and just cut it off/unfollow/block people/etc. if it’s causing you unnecessary conflict or distress, or makes you uncomfortable or etc. to look at. Thank you for the question! Hopefully this response explained things a little better.

Links and Further Info:

On the off chance that you were genuinely curious, here are some resources where you can learn more about people of different gender identities and also hear them explain their experiences, etc. Since these people are actually openly discussing their experiences/making educational content and are obviously actually open to talking about it, that would be a better place to field any further questions or learn about things. :3

Here’s some reading -

Understanding Nonbinary People (link)

Gender Variance Around the World (link)

12 Questions About Nonbinary Gender Answered (link)

About the Sex Binary (link)

Ask LGBT subreddit (link)

one ‘ask a nonbinary person’ blog i found (I don’t know if they’re still active, it’s one of the first ones that came up for me lol, but I guess could be helpful) (link)

And here’s some videos with people talking about their experience, or being educational -

(NOTE: I just did a quick google search and did not deeply research these people and their entire histories and etc., so I can’t say I stand by literally everything they say or know what type of people they are, but it’s just a general place to start~!)

A video examining the idea of gender in general and how it even exists and nonbinary people (definitely interesting to watch) (link)

video about nonbinary gender/explanations (probably at least watch this one too) (link)

What is a nonbinary gender? (shorter general info) (link)

answering all your nonbinary questions q&a (link)

Video about binary sex/gender/etc. (link)

5 nonbinary people explain what nonbinary means to them (link)

another video about similar stuff (link)

#Please stop sending me asks about this now. I just want to talk about elves and cats and fantasy writing and stuff #No personal questions unless I specifically comment on something/initiate the discussion or they're about my art or something else I'm doing #lol... especially with everything going on this year #just a big Let Me Relax I Will Deal With Anything Even Remotely Stressful Later mood #ANd anon if you're still here - go listen to 'And the beat goes on' by The Whispers #no real reason gjhgjhg it's just a good song and I had it playing while I was proofreading #(also for context - it hasn't just been two asks - I'm pretty sure this person sent me others. If that's not true then I apologize anon -#but I definitely got multiple asks that were mentioning similar things/of a similar tone (intentionally referring to me as a 'girl' 'woman'#consistently and in a kind of agressive way or etc. (which you can block asks even if they're on anon (i think it's just an IP block) so if #it was indeed this anon sending them then they may be blocked from sending any more asks already because I blocked all those weird ones #I got lol. if it wasn't them then they should still be fine though- but anyway. there were other messages being sent #etc. consistently - which only happened after the first initial ask and would happen regualrly so. etc. etc. Just wanted to mention it since #the 'stop sending me asks about this now' comment doesn't make much sense if you think there was only two asks lol. I'm preetty sure #there were more - though of course they're all anon so I can't confirm. ANYWAY - again.. i have no beef with you but if we don't agree then #please just disengage and stop following my content/sending me asks - and maybe watch some of the videos and stuff or go to #other reasources if you really want to know about this stuff because I'm just not the right person/in the correct mindset to explain it to #you. I can barely do basic daily functions like making sure I eat 3 times a day lol.. I don't have the mental energy to write educational #essays and etc. but SOME people do - which is why pursuing other resources is important. ALSO - listen to The Whispers. that is my #final advice.. put on some good music and just dance and eat some cheddar cheese or something. this will soothe every issue )

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carlyfrombleachers · 4 years

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EMOTION, because a CRJ blog needs to talk about EMOTION.

Some things in life are inevitable. Life, death, consumption of media, crying, interacting with others, and many other things, they are simply inevitabilities. Another inevitability is a Carly Rae Jepsen blog talking about EMOTION. It is something every blog-runner is eventually faced with, because of how impactful this record is for everyone who has listened to it. We will all write our EMOTION thinkpieces someday.

This post will only talk about the standard 12 tracks, Run Away With Me to When I Needed You. I will write about the Deluxe tracks (Black Heart, IDJCHTD, Favorite Colour, NGTHY, Love Again) some other time. Okay? Okay.

Also, I just realized my last two posts had the word “brilliance” on their titles. I do not know why that happened, maybe I’m a fan of the word, maybe they’re both brilliant! I don’t know. But the word “brilliance” is being banned from my titles from now on.

With that being said, let’s begin.

The First Three Tracks

I have talked about how important the first three tracks of an album are in my previous post, about Gone Now, but basically, the first three tracks are how they hook you, how they pull you in, how they make you stream it over and over. And EMOTION’s appetizers of Run Away With Me, EMOTION and I Really Like You are quite the solid ones. Run Away With Me wins every single “which is the best CRJ song” poll, so I really don’t want to talk about it, because I think everyone recognizes this is a good track. Personally, I think it is okay. Please don’t crucify me over this??? Thanks.

EMOTION is also a great track which I feel embodies what EMOTION (the album) is about. Which is why it shares a title with EMOTION (the album again). And this is what EMOTION (the album) is about. Emotion. I know, Queen of Subtlety, everyone please clap.

In all seriousness, EMOTION (the album!!!) is about love and the emotions that drive us. The love part is introduced with Run Away With Me, and the emotions, with EMOTION (the track). Run Away With Me is about unconditional love, about wanting to run away taking only the person you love the most. About forbidden love. About running away from all expectations and pursuing only love. EMOTION (the track again) is about evoking emotions in others, in those who you loved or still love, about wanting them to experience all emotions you two experienced together because you feel wronged by them.

And then we get to I Really Like You. I don’t like I Really Like You. You could say I Really Don’t Like It. And the fact it was the lead single? That’s just a weird choice. Sure, it’s catchy, and Tom Hanks is in the music video, but it’s just… not impactful enough? It’s very lovey-dovey, but that’s all it is. Love. Really Liking someone. There are better songs out there. But well, the first two tracks are so good, I think it hardly matters.

The Second Three Tracks..????

The middle of an album is weird. This is usually where themes are explored and pushed far. Lorde’s Melodrama features The Louvre, single Liability and Hard Feelings, where the themes of love shine through after their introduction through Green Light and Sober. Bleachers’ Gone Now features lead single Don’t Take The Money, along with Everybody Lost Somebody and All My Heroes. EMOTION’s tracks 4 through 6 are Gimmie Love, All That and Boy Problems.

These are weird tracks. The theme of love is very loosely present in all these songs, and the 80’s vibes shine very strongly here (especially in All That), but there is not much connecting all of them. Gimmie Love is about doing it with an ex, who you wish still loved you, All That is about being and doing everything for someone, and always being there for them, and then you have Boy Problems, which is, well, about how Boys Suck. The storyline of the record is confusing at best, much like Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia. Future Nostalgia, much like EMOTION, is an album about those cool disco vibes and there is not really a present, recurring theme shared between most of its tracks. The progression on EMOTION is basically, “I love you, let’s run away”, then “I hope you suffer, because I kind of want you back”, followed by “Hey, I like you!” which then becomes “let’s have sex”, and then “I want to always be here for you and do everything for you and everything about you is incredible”... only to be stopped by “hey men are kind of trash aren’t they?”, the progression is all over the place. A record doesn’t need to be composed of only tracks that tell a concise story, of course, and I’ll talk about what this means for EMOTION later on.

The Second Set Of Second Three Tracks

“When you need me / I will never let you fall apart / When you need me / I will be your candle in the dark”

This is for later, don’t worry. :)

Tracks 7 through 9 are also quite the odd bunch, with a bunch of odd tracks with zero correlation between each other.

Making the Most of the Night is about being there for who you love no matter what, much like All That, with a sick beat instead of the more chill vibes. Your Type is a song about jealousy, one that is very welcome on EMOTION because it displays both themes of love and emotions very well. Your Type shines. It ranks very highly on every EMOTION ranking I see because it’s hard-hitting. “I’m not the type of girl for you / And I’m not going to pretend / I’m the type of girl you call more than a friend / And I break all the rules for you / Break my heart and start again / I’m not the type of girl you call more than a friend”? Damn. Let’s Get Lost is kind of meh. Run Away With Me did the whole “running away from everyone” deal a lot better. But I think it sets out to do a thing and it does the thing. Not particularly impressive, but it’s good.

I have seen people go insane because of someone saying their favorite EMOTION song was bad or annoying, so if you have felt personally offended by any of these, send me an ask. End all your asks with “+” so I know you hate me. It’s okay. My self-esteem is quite high nowadays. I also wish to keep track of which of you to watch out for. Unless you send them anonymously, of course. In that case, I hope I know how to evade you. I have seen this happen very frequently with people who like Let’s Get Lost, so that’s why I’m apologizing.

Why didn’t I apologize at the end, though? Well, it’s because the next three are my favorites.

The End: The Last Three Tracks

The last songs of an album are magical. All the themes shine after their exposition in earlier tracks, allowing the record’s message to be complete and meaningful. Of course, not every record needs to do this, but it’s a lot cooler if they do.

L. A. Hallucinations is a nice song about a love story that starts being interrupted because of fame and how impactful it is to one’s life, Warm Blood is this eerie-sounding track about creating this façade and hiding who you are, only to meet someone who makes you give up on everything because you wish to be completely truthful to them, and When I Needed You is the best Carly Rae Jepsen song. No, I am absolutely not biased, shut up.

I think the album’s title, and its theme of emotion, shine on the last tracks. The build-up for the closing track is simply wonderful, and it just ties everything together. The connections that opening and closing tracks (or simply first and second halves) have is a beautiful thing to witness. Let’s take Melodrama as an example, since I’ve been listening to it a lot lately.

Melodrama is divided into two main parts: Green Light through Hard Feelings, tracks 1 through 6; and Loveless through Perfect Places, tracks 6 through 11. The first half of the album is dedicated to Lorde sharing how she feels, how her breakup makes her feel, how harshly she feels everything. How she loved and how she is no longer loved, how she didn’t care about what happened to her as long as she was having fun and how she sees that what she was doing hurts herself. The second half is Lorde accepting that she is not loved by him anymore, that it is not really her fault and that she has to move on, knowing that her ex may or may not realize what he’s done. That’s why we get Sober II, when Sober was present in the first half, and Liability (Reprise), when Liability was also in the first half. The first half was about hurting and feeling awful, while the second part is about how you're not the only awful person out there. In Liability, Lorde believes wholeheartedly that she is a burden to everyone, that she is too much, that she needs to disappear, but in Liability (Reprise), she mocks such an idea, or perhaps even comes into terms with the fact that she is a liability, and then follows it up with “Whatcha gonna do?”, because if she admits such a thing and is not bothered by it, then it doesn’t matter. After reflecting on whether or not she’s a liability, she doesn’t care anymore.

EMOTION's When I Needed You is basically Melodrama's second half crammed into a single track, and oh, does it sound good. This track fixes every single problem I had with EMOTION's inconsistency, its contradictory themes. Because I can just argue that it's foreshadowing. This is the part where I argue that it's foreshadowing.

When I Needed You, And How Great Closing Tracks Are Important

When I Needed You basically turns EMOTION on its head. Everything about this track is straight up perfection. All the emotions that kept hiding from you and refusing to show themselves finally do in what is, in my opinion, the best closing track of any pop record.

It’s just… the way everything sounds, the amazing production, the lyrics, it’s all just… so perfect??? EMOTION (the track), Your Type and Boy Problems kind of don’t fit the theme of the rest of the record, they’re not about how amazing it is to be loved, and instead are about how painful it is (for EMOTION and Your Type) and how love does not matter (Boy Problems). When I Needed You somehow manages to tie all these themes together with stellar lyricism.

“Sometimes I wish that I could change / But not for me, for you / So we could be together forever”

The sheer power of these lyrics, oh wow. Carly is just so tired of things not working out that she wishes to become someone else. She wants to be who she isn’t. All of that, just because she likes someone who doesn't like her for who she is.

“But I know, I know that I won’t change for you / ‘cause where were you for me? / When I needed someone / When I needed someone / When I needed you”

Very few records reach this level of… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. But not every track can take the premise of “I wish I were someone else, but is it worth it?” and do it like When I Needed You does.

Remember what I said in All That, how I saved those lyrics for later? This is the part I bring them up.

“When you need me / I will never let you fall apart / When you need me / I will be your candle in the dark”

“[...] where were you for me? / When I needed someone [...] / When I needed you”

Carly wishes to be everything for someone in All That, she wishes to do literally anything for her lover, but in When I Needed You, she reveals her lover won’t do a single thing for her. Her lover does not care for her. And it doesn’t matter what she does, it doesn’t matter because she is not who she wants her to be.

I’m a Bleachers blog too, so I’m bringing Strange Desire up. I think Strange Desire, much like EMOTION, suffers from not having a very cohesive theme between all its tracks. Most of them are about love, and then you have I Wanna Get Better, and some more songs about love, but the album is quite… tame? It sets out to do something and it does it, and I like it.

The final track of Strange Desire, “Who I Want You To Love”, is quite the odd one. Whereas most songs in Bleachers’ first record are about wanting to see someone evolve while also struggling with evolving yourself, Who I Want You To Love is not really like that. It’s more like a “I give up” letter.

“I will love who you want me to love / Oh, I will bleed when you want me to bleed / But I don’t wanna know too much of anything / Because it all hurts me”

WIWYTL is simply about giving up. Going so far you don’t care about what happens to you. And it’s a perfect closing track for a record like Strange Desire. It has feeling. It has emotion. It has power, strong themes, a message. It’s beautiful. If you only come here for my CRJ content, I highly recommend you listen to Bleachers. It’s a bit wonky at first, but I’m sure you’ll love it if you give it a try.

Back to CRJ though, When I Needed You is an example of how to do a closing track. The weird, contradictory messages that popped up every now and then? It was self-doubt. Doubt that this relationship could grow. That maybe everything was not so great. She experiences a breakup, then falls in love again, and again, and again, only to realize she was changing too much for the people she loved, she was doing too much, and she doesn’t need to do too much. She needs to be happy and make others happy being herself, instead of changing who she is. And this is the main lesson you should take from this song: if you’re changing who you are just to satisfy someone you love, and you’re not happy with who you’re becoming, stop. It is not worth it.

I think every track has a message that can be taken from it, and the most important ones lie in Run Away With Me and When I Needed You. And I think that’s why so many people LOVE Run Away With Me. Because they love the message. Because of how beautiful the lyrics are, and because of how many people identify with wanting to run away with who they love, because they’re queer, because others would not understand, because being LGBT+ is seen as sinful. Or maybe it’s about sex, and that’s what the sinning implies, but I like my (and many other people’s) interpretation better.

Well, that’s all I have for today! Have a great month and happy holidays. As we approach December, I might start pumping out extra content, potentially talking about other records I love (Melodrama lol) or some other things I feel like you (my beautiful lovely readers) might enjoy! If there’s an album you want me to listen to, feel free to send me recs through the asks function! Goodbye.

#carly rae jepsen #emotion #when i needed you #music #writeup #crj #emotion thinkpiece #can you tell that i enjoy melodrama from this writeup haha?

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chachieparcon · 3 years

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BLOGPOST 1

<How would you introduce yourself to the blogging community?

Introducing oneself is one of the most challenging part in the community. Nowadays, others describe a person based on what they hear and what they see. They perceive you on the way they want and criticize you. Sometimes the result is true but sometimes it hurts you, if you are addressed wrongly. So how can I deal with this kind of situation?

Blogging is one of the best way to introduce myself. Everyone is now in digital and modern time. Meaning everyone has the access in social media. As easy as one click, you can see a lot of information. I believe in a saying ‘’think before you click’’. So whatever you write and post, be ready on criticism. So with this kind of opportunity I can showcase myself easily. I will share positivity on how I view life. I will write how eager I am to achieve all my goals. I will share my likes, wants, favorites and habits just to make a glimpse with me. One thing I want to highlight is my passion in business. I named it “Chachie’s Delicacies”. I am passionate about food especially baking, cooking and selling. So I decided to create my own small business. Ice creams, cupcakes, cookies, and other sweet delicacies are some of my products. In my own simple way, I earn at the same time I enjoy doing what I like. I am also a person who is fond photography, I always take selfies. I love taking pictures of myself. Every time I go to other places I see to it that I capture beautiful angles and views. This serves as my storage of memories. Memories are meant to be kept and treasured. I also want others to see the side where I am really proud of, that is becoming a good student. Nowadays, a lot of youth take education for granted. But for me, I considered schooling as a great mentor in life. This is the place where you are molded and instilled with substantial learnings that you can use in the future. I am consistent in maintaining my good grades, because I do not want to waste the opportunity of having the chance to study. I always do my best in everything I do. I also exposed myself in activities in school participating in quiz bee, school organizations, pageantry, spoken poetry, journalism, sports and many more. I am not afraid of trying everything, even if I am not really good. I always look at it as an stepping stone to know what I can do. I want to inspire other teen like me to show their hidden talents. Make themselves contented on what they have and what they are capable of. Nothing is impossible if you are determined to attain something, you have to be patient and work for it. This is me and this is my principle in life. This is something I want others to know about me.

Sharing who you are is one way of interacting with others. In this way they can understand and know me better. Knowing me is one way to cope up with the community. It is about sharing myself to inspire people or vice versa. Life is about giving and taking. If you don’t give yourself the chance to come out, you will not grow as a person. Do not be afraid nor give up. You may be criticized, but it’s up for us on how we handle things. Take it as positive and always be open about corrections and failures. This will serve as a learning experience to be better. In this world, we will be accepted if we know how to accept ourselves first. Therefore, know your worth and your purpose in this world. So you can be loved and treasured.

Be creative (500 words)

<ANSWER THE FOLLOWING

1.Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Is my learning in SPUP vital to where I’m learning to?

-I see myself ten years from now as a successful business woman who owns a big company, who helps charity, street children and the community. SPUP molds me to become the person I want to be. This school opened a door of learning which help me to develop and enrich my potentials and capabilities. It also strengthens my faith to attain all my dreams in life. So whoever I may be in the next 10 years, the help of the school which gave me the opportunity to excel as a better human being is one of the steps in my ladder to make it to the top. I will use my achievements to help others. As a return back, I will work hard and I will not waste those learning experiences. I will also encourage everyone to dream and make those dream possible by studying hard. Trust yourself. Be grateful and always do your best in everything you want to accomplish in life.

2.Was ABM best choice after all?

-Yes. ABM is aligned to the course I want to take in my college degree.

3.What course will you take in college?

- I’ll take tourism as my first choice of college course, my second option is BS Culinary in Arts.

4.What topic would you like to learn more in this subject?

-I want to learn on how to use the technologies well.

5.What the corona virus has thought you about life?

-This pandemic taught me to value your love ones. Life is so precious that we should live our life fully. Treasure every moment we have with our family. Sometimes we forget to make them feel that we love them. We take them for granted. But now I realized how vital love is. Love should be shared and bloomed.

BLOGPOST 2

CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE TECHNOLOGY

My favorite technology is Artificial Intelligence (AI). When I watched the Korean drama series “Start up 2020”, I have learned so many things about technology especially artificial intelligence. Little did I know that such technology can do the same things human beings are capable of. Who would think that a car can drive itself? Who would think that a device can tell wether you’re happy or sad? There are many things artificial intelligence can do. Based on the data I saw, it does what human beings can do, but for me, artificial intelligence can do beyond what human beings are capable of. Some humans have disabilities but artificial intelligence for me are perfect, they are capable of doing anything. The engineers and developers are doing their very best to make the accuracy of the device get high as possible for the people that are in need of assistance of humans can use the device that uses artificial intelligence.

BLOGPOST 3-5 (MOVIE REVIEW)

<Create your own movie summary (at least 250 words)

MEAN GIRLS

Cady Heron has never known what "high school" truly meant. She lived her first 15 years in the African jungle, home-schooled, living life with only her parents and the animals of the wilderness, knowing all of the rules of survival. But when she leaves Africa, she has to learn the rules of high school, which is a jungle in itself. It didn't take long before she met two sweet teenagers, Damian and Janis. But in turns of high school they are known as the "out crowd." Soon she meets “The Plastics”, the three crude, beautiful, popular girls, consisting of Regina, the unofficial leader, Gretchen, who would do anything for Regina, and Karen, "one of the clueless people you will ever meet." After just a few minutes they let her into their group, but Cady wanted to keep her first friends, so she wasn’t really sure. But Damien and Janis thought that it might be fun to play a game with the plastics so they told her to keep the relationship with the Plastics, but only so they could get to know all of their darkest secrets and then laugh at them. Cady learns about a "Burn Book." This notebook is Regina's top secret notebook filled with vicious rumors, secrets, and gossips about all the other girls (and teachers) in their class. This does not go really as they planned when Candy falls in love with Regina’s ex-boyfriend. When Regina finds out, she seeks revenge of Cady by taking Aaron back. When Cady finds out, what began as a game to discover secrets turns into a plan to destroy Regina. Now, Cady, Janis, and Damian plot together to bring Regina's status down. In her efforts to get revenge on Regina, Cady gradually loses her individual personality and remakes herself in the image of Regina. She soon becomes as spiteful as Regina, abandoning Janis and Damien and focusing more on her image. Regina responds by spreading the entire contents of her Burn Book around the school, inciting a riot. To avoid suspicion, Regina also inserts a fake libel of herself in the book in order to focus blame on Cady, Gretchen, and Karen. She has each girl confess and apologize to the rest of the girls. When Janis' turn comes, Regina makes an insulting joke about her sexuality, to which the crowd laughs. Janis retaliates by confessing her plan to destroy Regina with Cady's help and openly mocks Regina with the support of the entire school. Regina storms out, pursued by an apologetic Cady, and gets hit by a school bus in her haste. Rumors circulate that Cady intentionally pushed Regina in front of the bus. Now without friends, shunned by Aaron, and distrusted by everyone at school, even being distrusted by her own parents, Cady decides to make amends by taking full blame for the Burn Book. Though severely punished by her confession, her guilt dissolves and she returns to her old personality. As part of her punishment and her reformation, she joins the Mathletes, which Damien and Regina both described earlier as "social suicide," in their competition. There, Cady has an epiphany while competing against a very unattractive girl, realizing that even if she made fun of the girl's appearance it would not stop the girl from beating her. At the Spring Fling dance, Cady is elected Spring Fling Queen, but in her acceptance speech, she declares her victory is meaningless: they are all wonderful in their own way and thus the victory belongs to everyone. As a symbolic gesture, she breaks her tiara and distributes the pieces to her classmates. Cady makes up with Janis and Damien, reconciles with Aaron, and reaches a truce with the Plastics. The film ends with the Plastics disbanding by the start of the new school year: Regina joins the lacrosse team, Karen becomes the school weather girl, Gretchen joins the "Cool Asians", and Cady hangs out with Damien and Janis. Cady reflects that the "Girl World" is drama-free.

<GUIDE QUESTIONS

1. What life lessons can be learned from the movie?

- People really have different personalities. But in any personality a person has, there is always a value within us. We can always change ourselves when we want to even if we think that we are already hopeless, there is always a chance.

2. What part of the story told by the movie was the most powerful? Why?

- The most powerful told by the movie was when Cady declared that her victory (as Spring Fling Queen) is meaningless and the victory belongs to everyone. It is the most powerful part of the story for me because it gave power to all women.

3. Who was your favorite character in the movie? Why?

- My favorite character in the movie “Mean Girls” is Cady because she wanted to experience life outside her comfort zone. In exploring life, a person will really learn by themselves when he or she is the one who’s actually facing it. Her experiences made her become a better person. She learned how to appreciate good people around her. She learned how to know which is right or wrong. In life, there are many chapters. There are worst and best part of life.

4. Did anything that happened in the movie remind you of something that has occurred in your own life or that you have seen occur to others?

- I have a friend of mine who is innocent before. She was good at everything, talented. She is the type of a person who is decent but then she became worse than her past. She tried everything, she was curious about other things she wasn’t used to see with her former friends. When she knew other people, she changed. But now, currently, she had learned her lessons. She is more knowledgeable. She is still as valuable as before even though she made mistakes in her life. She turned out to be a better person. She treats people now very very well.

MOVIES

Choose 3 of your favorite movies that had a profound impact in your life.

“Brave”

The movie “Brave” had an impact in my life. It’s all about knowing the true meaning of strength, braveness and courageousness. She knew that she didn’t need to carve out her own path in life. After the beastly curse happened, she learned that there's bravery in the face of fear and bravery to stand up for what you believe in. Sure enough, there's also bravery in admitting your wrong, bravery to face change and accept it. At the end of the day, she’s still the daughter of King Fergus and Queen Elinor that loves Merida the most.

“Mulan”

This story covers specifically Chinese women and how they are supposed to act, dress, and bring honor to their family by marrying a respectable man. Mulan is fighting against her country's tradition, the expectations of her family, and the mindsets of individuals who have had a very specific idea of what a woman's role is in the world. The acceptance of her identity is central to her story arc, whether we interpret Mulan as a gender-bending feminist or someone who is gender-fluid. Accept an identity of your own. Defy what is expected by society. Present the world your real self.

“The Devil wears Prada”

Andy had big dreams just like me. She finds herself an assistant to diabolical editor Miranda Priestly after landing a job at the prestigious Runway magazine. She did her best even though she’s working for a person like a slave or a dog. In the end, she learned many things like time management, being workaholic, and focusing. When she realized that she has better life coming ahead, she chose to leave Miranda to go back to her old self.

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transrightsjimin · 4 years

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I'm asking as a confused trans and gay person regarding some of your recent posts saying aphobia doesn't exist, etc. Do you consider asexual people to be inherently LGBT even if they are cisgender and straight (heteroromantic)? I don't want to discriminate at all, I'm just confused because I see people fighting on here all the time about whether aces are part of the LGBT community or not. Do you have some insight for me as an ace nonbinary person? Thanks in advance!

no it’s fine lol dw!

i’m not sure how to explain this w/o being too extensive in what i say bc i’ve talked about this before but more in private conversations (and maybe some rants in tumblr posts) nd i tend to ramble abt it.

first of all i do not actually like the common conception that there is one way to define LGBT or the idea that everyone should fall within that category term or not, for example because the English language is colonial and rigid and does not reflect on experiences of all cultures, bc being gay or trans are not distinctly different experiences everywhere while they would be divided into different categories. so whereas i was more insistent on saying ‘you must be gay / bi / lesbian / trans to be LGBT / suffer from homophobia or transphobia’ i’ve come to realize now that this argument is rather exclusive of many gender diverse identities that do not correspond to all experiences or cultures. so i will stay away from using that argument.

however, i am speaking from my experience with online LGBT and asexual communities and have seen how the latter has tried to force itself into the other. i think a large issue with the asexual and aromantic communities is that they are partially based upon the creation of AVEN, an online forum founded by a homophobic and antisemitic man, and partially (though related to the former) by just blatantly made up statistics and history. not once have i seen a good argument or research or even personal accounts that illustrate very well why aphobia is a thing. i am asexual myself but do not want to take the lack of discrimination i faced for it as proof. there have been accounts of ‘aphobic’ discrimination that are either 1. much more a general concern with the OP facing misogyny and girls being sexualized, 2. someone making a remark based on a misconception of OP’s experiences or 3. misappropriation of terms and applying them to asexuality, e.g. ‘corrective rape’ was coined to refer to (African) lesbians who were assaulted under the presumption that it would turn them straight. asexuals have appropriated this term years ago to claim asexual people face rape on a large scale because perpetrators try to force them into liking sex. some people don’t even know the original meaning of the term because of this. i’m also not a big fan of this new interpretation of the term anyway, because legit sexual attraction is not the main reasons people commit rape; it is to seek power. this kind of mindset of asexual people being inherently vulnerable to sexual violence due to lack of feeling sexual attraction is seriously harmful; in the crime show Law and Order SVU, a suspect was let off because some main character said the suspect was asexual and this couldn’t have done it. people can be and sometimes are raped by an asexual person, because it is about taking advantage of someone and not attraction. the sole fact that so many authors of overly fetishistic fanfiction are asexual should prove this much, but instead the lack of attraction is used to distance oneself from the harm one can still cause.

and yes, asexual people can face discrimination, especially if you’re a girl you’re expected to be sexually submissive, which is pretty horrifying on its own. but this is not the same as targeted discrimination on a mass scale or institutional whatsoever. we are not thaught as we grow old that asexuals are disgusting, are a joke, or need to be violently murdered. my biggest issue with the asexual and aromantic community that we (as i have removed myself from it years ago) keep telling it that anecdontal accounts of being mildly discriminated is nowhere near the same as risking being kicked out of your house, being violently attacked due to the way you appear or having a partner of the same gender, being systematically discriminated by all sorts of institutions in society and being thaught that what you are is bad from an early age on. and then the counterargument is that LGBT is more recognized but asexual and aromantic isn’t, so ‘ace / aro’ people deserve to be included because they are underrepresented in media. but that is not the case at all. the speed at which asexuality has suddenly been incorporated and included into LGBT spaces, also offline, has been ridiculously fast. nowadays when you see a bunch of LGBT flags you see the asexual one being included a lot, sometimes in 3 different versions, while the lesbian flag is nowhere to be seen. lesbians are consistently excluded from their supposedly own community and they are not included in LGBT due to a need to change underrepresentation or lack of awareness, but because they face their own version of homophobia. the most mind-boggling thing about cis / cishet asexual and aromantic people being told that they are not oppressed, is that the response is not relief (’oh i’m glad i don’t face systematic oppression for this thing’) but anger (’how dare you not let us into your group!’). LGBT is seen as a fun party that is unnecessarily mean to anyone it gatekeeps, as if it is not actually necessary to keep out cishet people who benefit from their privilege and can use that against the rest in the group if they join.

my largest issue with the asexual community however, and i’ve touched upon this a bit before in the post, is that it victimizes itself, to such a degree where it puts itself oppositional to ‘allosexuals’. the whole idea that people who experience sexual attraction to another person are inherently privileged over abd hold power over asexual people is just not true (and the same goes for this rethoric for aromantic people). this idea is so wrong and the whole concept of the ‘allosexual’ as oppressor collapses once you consider that people who are attracted to the same gender are actually in danger and oppressed for their very attraction. not only are those who experience attraction (that isnt platonic) to other people portrayed as oppressors, but also as perverted freaks. once i decided to stop associating myself with acearo people and instead interact with LGBT people with other experiences, i realized just how much stigmatizing abd frankly, homophobic and transphobic bullshit i’ve adopted within the spaces i used to be in and that i still see gather a lot of traction (now their harmful points are also used on twitter and IRL in the public domain). the community has a huge issue where it teaches you to be puzzled and grossed out by people who want to date / kiss / have sex with other people, and this results in GSAs that now include asexuals to prohibit kissing your partner per request of asexual / aromantic members, asexual people showing up at pride with ‘can we just hug?’ signs, the common serophobic jokes (’at least we dont get hiv!!’ blergh), and for me it led to a great discomfort with kissing and sex imagery and it wasn’t until i left the community that this was in fact subtle homophobia because so much content on here is lgbt themed and to combine that with the increasing aversion to romance or sex without critically looking at that is... very toxic to say the least.

so where it’s standing right now, i don’t think including asexual or aromatic people in LGBT spaces on the basis of those identities is a good idea. one community advocates for the acceptance of sex, whereas the other is stigmatizing it and painting off those who are in fact oppressed for their transness or homosexuality, as the oppressors. it clashes and it doesn’t work. the ‘ace / aro’ community (quote unquote bc i see ‘ace’ being used a lot to imply superiority over ‘allosexuals’ like, theyre being the ace at something) has too many issues, which it is largely based on, to figure out. it can be a community on its own and i do not think you need to join LGBT to have a valid identity that has something to do with sexuality or gender and deals with a form of stigma.

it woukd be a rant, i warned you lol

#asks #anon #the asexual comm #homophobia //#transphobia //#lesbophobia //#rape mention //#serophobia //

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the-canary · 5 years

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Sugar, Sugar - B.B (1/2)

Summary: Babe, you got a killer smile! And though you might have lost it along the the way, a certain photographer is trying to finally set that straight. (Modern!Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: “Me? I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life…. the way I feel when I’m with you!”

A/N: This is for @interestedbystanderwrites writing challenge. Obviously someone watched Funny Face a few days back! This isn’t exactly like the movie. I took liberties here and there, but I hope you enjoy it either way. Second part will be out tomorrow, but it just got too long ;A;

“I think you would be perfect for it,” Sam yells through the large bookstore. He can see a puff of hair peeking through a stake near the back, “Your big comeback!”

“I don’t need a comeback, Sam,” a disgruntled voice answers back. A woman manages to find her way through the chaos of the bookstore, “I’m perfectly fine where I am.”

Sam lets out a sigh before letting her win this round, but he knew better than that. He knew that she looked that the magazines stands from time to time. She wore her best most of the time and practiced with a book on top of her head whenever she was alone.

There was a lot of stuff that she missed, but she wouldn’t let herself accept it. There was still a strong hurt and loss that came with thinking about those days. So, instead Sam has to go about this another way.

He has to have the magazine find her instead. He thinks as he goes back to fixing the mess is the little bookstore she tends to hide herself in.

———–

Q MAGAZINE IS LOOKING FOR TODAY’S MODERN WOMAN!

Natasha at the horrible ad that she thought would be a good idea. A last minute call of desperation after the last issue tanked in sales. But, it certainly wasn’t enough that she was fighting against digital media and instagram influencers nowadays. But the upscale and high end clothing and articles that once made the magazine a staple were now dragging them down, as minimalism and simple clothing choices were making a comeback. In her ten years as editor, she wasn’t quite so sure what to do.

She had sent out the private call to all modeling agencies within the city and while they had brought in their best. Natasha just wasn’t quite so sure anymore, none of them sparked anything within them.

However, she was also faced with another problem

“Turn to the left,” states a male voice in the back of the studio office that Nat was currently. It's followed by a light giggle, “Yeah, just like that.”

Nat let out an annoyed sigh at the sight of her best photographer making the newest (failed) model pose for him. However, she couldn’t blame James for making them fall so easily. He loved beautiful things and was honest with what he told them. He made inner beauty shine with a smile and honest comment, something that you obviously didn’t find these days in New York. If only he could use that charm to find the perfect woman for their newest campaign.

She could only hope for a miracle.

That’s when Sam Wilson decides to burst through the door at that exact moment as well.

“What are you doing here?” she can’t help but ask since he should be on assignment in Los Angeles. She frowns as the man keeps smiling, silent until he reaches her desk.

“I think you would be happier to see me,” Sam pouted for a second before kissing Nat on the cheek, “Plus, I have the solution to all your problems.”

“Really?” Nat can’t help the skeptical tone sipping into her voice in the end.

Sam just grins as he proceeds to show her the location of a certain bookshop, all the while Bucky and the model watch afar.

———–

It all starts under a pretense because while Natasha could easily send for someone to find the gal that Sam was talking about. This would be a sort of more “chance meeting” thing.

Nat plays her part well enough. The overbearing editor that doesn’t let you put a word into the conversation, as she brings in her models and trashes the poor little bookstore for a failure of a photo shoot. She can’t help but grin when she sees you frown before they throw you out completely.

She moves for a second, yelling at the model to move with her, and she catches Bucky watching move out of the room. He keeps glancing every now and then to where you are watching them from the glass display.

Natasha didn’t expect that Bucky would be playing a part of this as well. She laughs and shakes her head before moving forward with the rest of her and Sam’s plan.

———–

“Well, you sir, have a great lack of empathy,” the bookkeeper remarks. She watches this Bucky try to move about trying to fix them, “Is that what you think of all your models? Just good for nothing, airheads for your next meal.”

“It’s not like they don’t know,” Bucky shrugs as he leans into the bookshelf, “It’s a mutual, beneficiary relationship. What you want sometimes gets in the way of what you really need, so you have to make compromises.”

Bucky can’t help but chuckle a little at the look of horror on her face and as he leans in to kiss her --like he would do with any other angry model-- only to be met with a book smacking his lips.

Bucky laughs at the memory as he waits for the film to develop. Yes, most of the photo shoot had been done with a digital camera, but there was somethings that could only be captured with older cameras and film. However, through all went down a few days ago, he isn’t sure why he keeps going through that one moment over and over again.

He figures it out a little later, as he stares at the picture that he had taken of the store owner. Her face quirked with anger, but there is a fire there that Bucky was sure he had never seen before.

“She would be perfect,” he remarks to himself, before running out the room and going to find Natasha.

———–

However, neither Natasha nor Bucky know how to get her there after their disastrous interactions with her. But, they don’t know of two things since they had left:

One was that the idea and memories hadn’t left the bookstore owner since they had destroyed her little shop.

“I just can’t believe it,” she keeps going on and on, while cleaning. Sam gives a little shake of his head, “More than a decade and nothing has changed.”

The second one was that of Sam Wilson--

“Why don’t you show them then?” he can’t help but ask with a sly smile. She pauses and looks at him agasp for a moment before looking around her still in disrepair shop.

“You’ll get to put it in their face,” Sam keeps on explains as she gets closer to him, “And you get some money for the shop and yourself.”

“Do you really think I could do it all over again?” she asks a bit lost and confused. Sam and her had only been children on the cusp of fame when they met, but the choices of their caretakers and guardians led them on different paths. She was still feeling the aftermath, as she frowns.

“You know how the game is played,” Sam answers back, “I’m sure you got the heads up against the rest of those girls they are looking for their new photo shoot.”

“New photo shoot?”

--and how he knows how to work miracles, as he leads her into their corporate office early next week.

———–

“Come on, Sugar,” you remember an editor from back in your younger days, “Smile more!”

You also remember getting pushed into the back after almost punching the man.

However, right off the start, you can tell that there is something different about Natasha. Even though she only seems a few years older than you, there is something that commands everyone to look at her when she enters the room. She certainly demands everyone’s respect at the same time, but the red-head also knows when to step back as well.

“There clothes were made for you,” she declares while pulling on the blouse you are currently wearing, “Show us anything and everything you have, Ms. Modern.”

She spins you around and though you frown for a second, Natasha never reprimands you or says anything about. It’s scary and relieving at the same time that you can’t help but smile and laugh a little.

———–

However, Bucky --as he liked to be called instead of James-- is a different story. As you arrive to London for the central part of the photo shoot, Bucky is running and showing you pictures of where he wants to take you and how you’re going to be dressed. Slowly but surely, each becomes a little story of their own.

That’s what leads to the two of you sitting on a couch in the lobby of the hotel that you are currently staying in. Between getting fitted and Bucky dragging you around to prospect locations, there wasn’t much time for you to enjoy the sights and sounds of the city you hadn’t been in quite some time.

“So, a jilted lover,” you breathe out watching Bucky connect an old train station with a dark dress, “Is that what you think of as modern?”

“Update the story and it can be,” he answers back as you keep growing. Bucky thinks for a moment, playing with his camera before he starts talking once more.

“If there isn’t a story there,” he turns to look at you with those bright blues of his, “How are you going to react?”

“What do you mean?” you asks, pretending not to know what he means. But, in actuality, you had done it a million times before -- pretended and delved into stories to escape your current reality. Maybe, Bucky knew that too, maybe he did it all the time as well.

“Pictures aren’t just things to be taken,” he responses with a crooked smile, like he knows he’s caught you in a lie, “There stories people want to lose themselves in. To be part of a fantasy for a little while or remember something they once had. But, pictures always say something.”

“You think about this a lot, don’t you?”

“I love doing this,” Bucky lets out with an awkward chuckle, “Why would I ever stop thinking about how to improve myself or my craft?”

“You’re an awful workaholic, Bucky Barnes,” you let out with laugh that Bucky ends up thinking about for a long time afterwards.

———–

Natasha wonders if she is the first one to notice it -- the longing stares and late night talks. It wasn’t the first time that Bucky had fallen for a model or visa-versa, but something felt different about this time around.

A jilted lover near Central London. Dancing in a yellow dress with balloons near Big Ben. Crying in a white satin blouse and dark pants in a closed off train station.

It’s too good to be true, Nat can’t help but think as she watches the next section of the photo shoot near a certain famous foundation not that far away from Westminster. She smiling like she owns the world and Bucky looks like he’s ready to give to her.

“Sugar--” he starts off, though she isn’t glaring at him as hard this time over the nickname. Though, she stops him before he says anything else.

“Pretend he’s Prince Charming, right?” she answers back while looking at the dove, while wearing a pretty satin dress, “Kiss him to make him fall in love with me.”

Bucky can’t help but laugh as he starts taking photos again. Nat can’t help but shake her head at the lovey-dovey aura in the air, though hoping that it really was too good to be true.

———–

But, there are things that aren't supposed to last forever -- you and Bucky both know this.

There’s glance and giggle from a model that seemed to know Bucky a little too well from before. There’s you spending a little too much time in the cafe downstairs talking about philosophers and old tragedies with the blue-eyed barista than Bucky felt comfortable with.

They were old fears, but neither of you could voice them out properly. Thus, it ended up in a screaming match on the night before you were supposed case the fruits of your labor. Everyone that was anyone in the fashion world was going to be there.

“I’m sorry if I feel empathy for others and liking talking about books,” you run off, pushing clothes here and there from your bed, “Some people enjoy taking the time--”

Bucky isn’t sure why, but at the thought of you sharing those thoughts with someone else. He breaks.

“At least, she isn’t dried up and bitter!” Bucky yells back before he can even think about.

You stare at him with wide eyes, as Bucky realize what he has said. He tries to get closer, but you’re already pushing him out.

“Wait--I’m--”

“GET OUT!”

You scream it like you’ve burned yourself in the worst possible way before shutting the door on him. Bucky just stands there unsure of what to do and how to take it all back.

———–

Bucky tries his hardest to be professional with a whole in his heart and an empty stomach. And though he knows that he has done worse, made people suffer more than he had with you -- this was some of the worst pain that he had left in a long time -- and all for what?

Petty jealous and being afraid that you could and would leave me.

Bucky knew who you were from the very beginning (how wouldn’t remember your rise and fall?), but he denied that anything would come of knowing you. Now, look at him -- utterly and completely in love of a star in the making once more.

He could try to be professional.

“Where the hell is she, Barnes?” Nat questions him as soon as he enters the salon. By the look of his face, her question quickly turns into: “What the hell did you do, James?”

They look around everywhere.

But, you’re nowhere to be found.

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