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#100 gecs in the background really adds to it
arecomicsevengood · 8 months
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TRIP REPORT: SPX 2023
I went down to the Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland this past Sunday. While I lived in Baltimore for a number of years, and it was essentially a local show, this is the first time I've been since moving to Philly in 2019. It took a year (or two?) off on account of COVID. I don't have much to say about the show itself, I enjoyed walking around talking to people, I probably didn't see all the stuff I would've liked, I'm not really in a good place to judge trends. I missed some people I would've liked to have met, like Drew Lerman, who left before I got there. He won an Ignatz though, and good for him. I do believe that the thing about SPX and the Ignatzes is that everyone essentially occupies very different spheres of interest and sets of influences. As I walked around, seeing little cards on people's comics saying they were nominated for an Ignatz, I would ask them if they had heard of or were familiar with the thing that won, they almost never were.
At the one panel discussion I attended, about drawing detailed backgrounds as a way of of establishing worldbuilding, Rosemary Valero-O'Connell cited Taiyo Matsumoto's approach as an influence, and as I sat in the audience thinking "Yes! Let's talk more about that!" everyone else on stage, quite reasonably, talked about their own influences instead - which for Daria Tessler, who I came to see, included Mark Beyer and Jim Woodring. The panel was generally good and interesting, and it's not meant as a slight to the moderator Rob Clough to point out that the best questions came during the Q+A from the audience. One member asked the question, how do you handle tonal shifts when you are using detailed visuals for plot purposes, and everyone agreed that that at emotional climaxes or at moments of more interiority they reduce the level of background detail.
Daria Tessler was the artist I was most excited to meet of anyone at the fest. Since my local shop, Partners And Son, is on top of it, I had already read her newest comic, volume 2 of Cagelessness, which absolutely rules, and so I had to shell out the big bucks for a copy of her fully-silkscreened book Dust, that uses multi-color collages as a backdrop for the cowboy characters who, in Cagelessness, move through ornately designed drawn worlds. Her work is beautiful, another high point of the panel discussion was her talking about how Marc Bell calls the tiny details cluttering up the backgrounds of his comics "chicken fat," and while Clough cited the term as originating from Will Elder, Tessler described chicken fat as "what you put in the soup to make it taste better, if you're not vegan," perfectly capturing what makes these artists work such a delicious meal for the eyes.
A similar "I already have all of these" experience was behind my purchase of Tales Of Old Snake Creek, by Drew Lerman, which collects his anthology contributions from recent years and adds watercolor to them. I love these comics in their original formats but I'm not going to say no to the convenience of this, which is also printed at a size larger than the digests in which some things ran.
Shout-out to Bread Tarleton, who pointed out to me the Paradise Systems table, where everything looked good and lavish, but what I picked up was Cry by Yan Cong. I believe Paradise Systems to be a reprinter of self-published comics from China. Cry features cartoony figures in a charcoal textured world, and follows a man having a sexual experience with a prostitute with a weird visual punchline.
Adam Szym directed me to the Strangers Fanzine table, where I picked up Shony Glassware 2 by Manning Coe, which is in some ways probably the sort of zine a lot of people go to SPX to get. Pretty funny stuff, maybe Ben Jones influenced, by a 26-year-old who lives in Osaka. Drawing himself in a Beat Happening shirt but with a bio where he talks about listening to 100 Gecs, there is a definite vibe at work here and while I don't remember the price point of this one I feel like it had to be cheap because it's that kind of comic. If you're ordering the new printing of Bhanu Pratap's Dear Mother from Strangers and want something else that's not too genre-y make sure you throw this in there.
Adam Szym's Their Use Continues is a horror short about the current trend towards reviving dead actors as CGI phantoms in movies currently in the news. Feels nice and relevant, I think I would've liked this to be a little bit bigger (it's printed digest size) and hi-res. Adam uses some digital collage elements for backgrounds and borders that I mostly felt was making the book smaller and fuzzier still.
I nonetheless liked it better than another horror comic I picked up, issue 1 ofJenna Cha and Lonnie Nadler's The Sickness, published by Uncivilized. Both people are more mainstream-comics, which I think is fine, but this does something I really associate with the dumbest kind of attitude that can be present in horror stuff, the kind of tonal miscalculation the comics I like avoid: Presenting a mid-century American setting where characters nonetheless are using a high degree of vulgar language, of a sort that would be stylized and off-putting if it were depicting the modern era but really just completely pulls me out of something set in the past. The second printing changes the color palette on the cover in a way that makes the drawing better, but this is not the sort of thing I would recommend anyone track down, which is sad, because it's likely far more readily available than anything I liked.
Tim Lane's Happy Hour In America 1, from a few years ago, was available at the Fantagraphics table. Presumably because Tim was signing, but I never saw him. I haven't read the big books collecting his short stories, but I like his contributions to anthologies. He's a guy who can really draw, in a way that you don't often see at small press shows, or that feels more appreciated by a mainstream-comics crowd. If his stories aren't as psychotically involved on a plot level as Mack White, he's nonetheless interesting as like a Gen X'er talking about American masculinity and what animates it. I would gladly read it in single issue comics format, though I missed these the first time because it wasn't what I felt I was in the mood for.
Another thing I picked up as a half-off copy of David B's Incidents In The Night, volume 2, from Uncivilized. I think volume 1 did pretty well, and is now sold out, but now that that's unavailable, volume 2 is a harder sell. David B is one of those dudes, like Joann Sfar or Christophe Blain, that got the big bookstore push like fifteen years ago but now no one wants to put out their books in the U.S. David B is also a guy, like GIpi, who had a comic put out by the Ignatz line Fantagraphics had. I bought issue 1 of Babel at the time and didn't care for it, and would've told you I didn't iike David B's work. But lately I've been tracking down books in the Ignatz line I skipped the first time (along with the First Second books of Gipi and Sfar from roughly the same time) and enjoying them, and this fits into that trend as well. A pretty involving plot, involving booksellers, the occult, criminal organizations. I both want to track down a copy of volume 1 and am frustrated that the volume 3 advertised at the end of this book was never translated into English.
Yasmeen Abediford's Death Bloom won an Ignatz, for best minicomic. All of the Ignatz awards are really ill-defined categories, and this is one is a $25 risograph thing, which to me seems like it should exist in a different category than cheapo xerox stuff, but whatever. Anyway, I believe Abediford will also be in the new issue of Freak, which I have seen Instagram posts indicating contributors got an advance copy of but have yet to be for sale online. Abediford is from the Bay Area, but this book was printed by Lucky Pocket Press, based in Baltimore, but from people who either moved there or didn't have the press going until after I left there. They sold me the comic in a little printed bag, which included a family tree for their little mascot guy, citing the "onion peow guy" as "(father, deceased)" and "(comics legend)," which is interesting to me insofar as I don't think of any of the Peow stuff as being interesting to me, though I'm happy it found its audience and made a mark. I don't really get this one either but whatever, I'll reread it tos ee if my opinion changes.
I would also put the output of publisher Silver Sprocket in a similar category to Peow - Not for me, seems like it's for younger people, in a way that dominates SPX as it's currently constituted. I have the deepest sympathies for them not being able to dominate SPX this year though, due to a misplaced/inaccessible pallet of books that they didn't get until halfway through Sunday. They had flown out Leo Fox from England, to debut his new book Prokaryote Season. I had seen Fox's stuff on Twitter last year and thought it looked good/interesting, but was also frustrated by the fact that he had apparently released a comic that was only for sale for 24 hours - maybe a way to create demand so that people actually order a thing, but in an artificial scarcity kind of way I resent. Anyway, I bought one of his self-published things, My Body Unspooling, and yeah I think it looks really cool and interesting, though the approach taken, a sort of simple narrative about the notion of the self rather than something that seems interested in having characters interact is again the kind of trend I blanch at in work made by people younger than me. I nonetheless liked the comic, and thought it was cool, and am going to read his book soon.
I bought issue 9 of Mike Centeno's Futile from the Radiator Comics distro booth. It is explicitly labeled as No Previous Readin' Necessary, so while there were two older issues of Futile at the table, printed at smaller dimensions, I didn't pick them up. This was cool, a mostly black and white (but with pages in the middle in color) comic about a musician taking mushrooms . It looks great on a flipthrough, though Audra Stang, working the table, tried to close the center-spread of my flipthrough so that the burst into full-color I was admiring didn't spoil the story's progression and surprises. Format and cartooning kinda reminded me of Nate Doyle's series Crooked Teeth. (Nate had a larger-formatted barbarian fantasy comic available from Strangers Fanzine, which I passed on.)
I also bought Beth Heinly's Girls Named Meghan from her, though Heinly is Philly-based and I've had plenty of chances to pick it up before. It's a memoir of her teenage years, growing up in Delaware County, which is where I went to high school, and the friendships she had that veered into rebellion and her apprehensions about being around people more "troubled" than she was. It is basically black and white but there's little red-pencil edits throughout, like maybe the wrong PDF was sent to the printer or something, sourced from a file where she was noting what she wanted to fix. I don't think of the other copies I have seen were like this though. Again, I think this is the sort of self-published autobio thing that many people go to SPX to find. I can see the places there this could be stronger or more impactful but there is still a fine sense for who all the characters were, and what the era was like.
I got a few other things but this is all I have read so far, at this moment when I felt like writing. Andrew White gave me a copy of the new Yearly, and a name I recognized from his writing for The Comics Journal, Henry Chamberlain, gave me a copy of his book George's Run, a biography of a Twilight Zone writer published by Rutgers University Press. I also got issue 3 of a comic called Cat Scratch Fever by a woman named Emily Zullo, and Soumya Dhulekar's Flash Valley. Both of these are in the classic digest sized minicomic format with black and white throughout, though Dhulekar opted for a a cardstock cover. This is the sort of thing I am most happy to buy from a stranger at a show and basically not even care about the quality as long as the price is right, though of course the price for both of these is higher than it used to be. I also bought and haven't yet read Leo Fox's Prokaryote Season, the theoretical "book of the show," although another contender for that title, the collection of Liam Cobb comics, What Awaits Them, looked great but I will pick it up when it comes into my local shop.
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middleschoolfursona · 11 months
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i like your art style a lot–have you always drawn this way, or is it something u developed over time? do u have any tips for drawing in the general sparklecat/old internet art style or similar?
1. Thank uuuuu <3
2. Under cut ⬇️
It's a mix of both- my current sort of diary art/stress relief/ wholesome style is a replication of my elementary school art style! (Like 5th grade, not 2nd lol. I was still drawing stick guys blowing up zombies with tanks and crap back then)
Otherwise, my other styles are style emulations, essentally!
I'll break it down rq:
Mostly based off my own childhood art:
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Natural progression of my art as I grew up:
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Style "emulation" (le me making an amalgamation of liek 20000 old deviantart artists into one image)
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Most of the sparklecat and scenedog art I draw like the above, is inspired by the works I stockpile from deviantart deep dives, and archive blogs. They're not emulations of one style, but multiple styles, taking parts I like or think are the most 'authentic'- essentially, I do what your young brain would have done without thinking, but I have to do it on purpose haha
My tip: while practicing, I'd say absolutely do studies of peoples entire DA galleries and figure out what works best for you.
Above all else I can't say anything else but like. Age regress lmao. If you can't do that, just do everything you can otherwise to put yourself in the headspace of the art you're emulating.
Put on old Amnesia playthroughs on YouTube, listen to Yaoi Nightcore playlists, edgy scourge AMVs, Naruto YTP, the whole Twilight movie- really whatever you listened to back in the day. Put that back on in the BG. Open current MsPaint or your preferred emulation of old MsPaint, or a free art software like medibang. (Don't download cool brushes. Work with Pen 1 and Airbrush or whatever.)
Use references of the era you want to emulate and use only those. Take all your current knowledge of art and BIN IT. The #1 problem in most emulation art even I have a really, really hard time with- is your stuff looking too modern because your art style is modern. Your tools are modern. Your mindset is modern. It will make your art look uncanny.
Don't try hard. It's really temping to draw the most rawrxd scenecore webcore hot topic revival 100 gecs whatever, I get that I guess- but it won't look like it's from the era. It's really hard to get x3randum ☆~ iTs rAinIng TACOOZZZZZZ ~☆ humor right, so don't try it for your first and submerge yourself in the era first. Tryhard sparkles are a real issue and you risk making your art look like it's snark.
Small canvases and or destroy your image quality. I don't do this as much as I should but it definitely adds to the look LULs
I will say, I have no idea otherwise because I come from a very privileged background when it comes to style emulation which is that I grew up planning to be an animator and thus, in my critical years, I was basically 100% drive on the ability to draw characters in many styles, on model. If you don't have this skill, it'll be a lot harder I'm sure.
Use your non dominant hand for especially young looking art. (If you have one. If not... uh... try your mouth?) (~that's what she said~)
(I mean. If you're *going for* the look of 'yes it's 2023 yes I'm bringing back this' go ahead, it just won't look genuine in the slightest and I am someone who's art journey is about doing all I can to emulate authenticity. Just adding this because I know a lot of people are! Go make that modern sparkledog eyeburner mary sue antisnark! It's just not my cup of tea. And I can't really give any pointers kthxbai)
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xstevex-world · 2 years
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hello I neeeedddd to hear your thoughts about modern au steve being a charli fan omg. thoughts on his fav songs? fav album? I just know he’d be playing something like vroom vroom or pink diamond in the car and eddie would not get it at all lmao
Djksjsjsisije THE TIME FOR STEVE HARRINGTON NUMBER 1 ANGEL HAS COME omfg I’ve DYING to talk about this with someone so THANK YOU for indulging me (also buckle up this is going to be long).
Steve was introduced to Charli’s music by Max of all people, he was driving the her somewhere and she insisted that she have control over the music and played Vroom Vroom - before than he didn’t know a lot of her stuff, didn’t really know her as more than a feature artist on some chart hits - but that song was a game changer for him. He casually asked Max to add it to his driving playlist and that night he listened to the entire EP on repeat.
He mostly kept his fixation to himself, occasionally telling Max, who is also a fan, stuff like “yeah she’s cool and all” but would then go and ask if he got got her concert tickets for her birthday, would would she like to bring (Max is a clever kid and Steve is so bad a being subtle - she knows he looking for an excuse to go) so she asks to him (and Robin) if they could chaperone herself, El and Will. (They do, and have a great time)
Asking him to decide on a favourite song is like asking him to chose a favourite member of the party, which he refuses to do, so he always gives his top five (boy’s indecisive, ok?). They are:
Trophy (Vroom Vroom)
Babygirl feat. Uffie (Number 1 Angel) ((he really doesn’t get why until he dates Eddie))
Track 10 (Pop2)
Silver Cross (Charli) ((which, for those who don’t know, is Joe Keery’s actual favourite Charli song as stated in Djo’s Reddit AMA))
Taxi (Unreleased) ((He was so pissed when they announced that XCX World was being shelved, he’s the kind of fan who doesn’t really like leaks but Taxi was and is the one exception))
His does have a favorite album, however, which is Number 1 Angel (he knows it’s technically a mix tape, and will go on a 20 minute rant about Atlantic Record being shits for not letting her release that and Pop 2 as albums because “apparently they wouldn’t preform well or something - it’s bullshit Robin! They’re masterpieces!”).
Speaking of Robin, she absolutely indulges Steve’s obsession with Charli, letting him play her music videos in the background if they’re hanging out and not in the mood to watch tv or a movie. Its been sort of a ritual for them since Steve came out by showing Robin the music video for Boys and was like “So this was my bisexual confirmation” -which Robin was absolutely floored by because holy shit that makes so much sense why did she ever think Steve was straight???? (Her favourite song is Click, specifically the No Boys Remix with Slayyyter)
Though Robin is a casual fan, the two he really gets to bond over his love of Charli with is Chrissy (who’s been a fan since her Boom Clap days - her favourite songs are Break the Rules, February 2017, and Lightning) and, surprising literally everyone, Argyle (he started listening to her after her feature on Ringtone by 100 gecs, because “how could I not listen to her after she sang with the gecko band, brochacho?” - his favourite songs are Claws, 3AM (Pull Up) feat. MØ, and Yuck).
As a collective, their favourite song is Used to Know Me - Steve, Chrissy and Argyle did a group costume of them in her Cheerleader outfit from the video for this, yes Atlantic Records underwear too, the Halloween following the videos release (which technically would be Halloween this year lol).
As for Eddie, well, you’re absolutely right - he does not get it, and he’s tried (Chrissy is one of his BFFs, so he’s put time in before he started dating). He appreciates the the production of music, but does not get it, especially the tracks that have more of a hyperpop flare to them, (he very lovingly calls it “Cling Clang music”), so when when songs like Pink Diamond or Hot Girl are playing, and just dramatically roles his eyes like Really, Stevie?
(He does have a soft spot for Track 10, Visions and Drugs, which Steve has on his let’s get high and make out playlist, as well as Babygirl, I won’t explain that one, the implications are there.)
However, Eddie actually thinks Charli herself is pretty cool. The first time they were talking about it (and Steve’s music taste in general), Eddie went on a bit of a tangent about the impact of SOPHIE in pop music (“not that I would listen to her music, Stevie, I get that she’s a visionary and all but Jesus H Christ, some of her stuff sounds like she put a bunch of Nokia phones in a blender and uploaded it to SoundCloud”), the producers collaboration with Charli XCX before he started talking about profound Charli herself was, especially the fact that she calls out her label and lets and sometimes encourages her fans to be as unhinged as they are (“her musics not my thing, some of it honestly gives me a headache, but Charli herself is so fucking metal! Did you see that she signed the urn one of her fan’s mothers ashes? I don’t know about you but if Ronnie James Dio was still alive and my dad was dead, I’d want nothing more than for fucking Dio to sign the fucking urn”.)
His does, though, point out every single brand sponsorship in her videos, (“no one loves a brand deal with Beats more than Charli’s label, Stevie”) and relentlessly makes fun of the sheer amount of product placement in video under 4 minutes. He also loves to call out “hey it’s the lanky motherfucker with the glasses!” Whenever AG Cook appears in the Vroom Vroom video, just to annoy his boyfriend (he would never tell anyone this, but Eddie spent a full 4 days listening to Silver by AG Cook on repeat while he was convinced Steve wouldn’t like him back-it’s one of the few songs of that genre that doesn’t like that doesn’t sound like a buzzsaw in his head).
He absolutely adores listening to Steve talk about her music though, everything from Easter eggs in videos to her “the distinct lack of a Hyperpop flare in Crash only for the single Hot Girl to come out and it’s likes she’s back in her Vroom Vroom era - I don’t know if it was her trying to please her label for the final album of the contract or if it has anything to do with SOPHIE’s death or something else, all I’m saying is that it’s weird, Eddie!” (Steve loves Crash, but he has a lot of opinions on it).
Overall, it’s one of the few times that Steve gets really passionate about music is when he’s talking about Charli XCX, and Eddie will never admit it out loud, but he adores it. (Well, he wouldn’t tell Steve purposely, it absolutely has been said while they’ve both been super high).
I’m not joking when I say I could talk about this for hours (Fun fact, Hyperpop was my hyperfixation right before stranger things, so yeah, some wires got crossed, especially after Joe Keery started talking about how Charli is one of his idols, it actually inspired this Twitter thread of ST characters as a Charli songs that I did).
Idk how you feel about Bitchy Steve™, but I have a whole Modern Day College AU brewing in the back of my head that I probably will do nothing about where he just embodies Charli and her whole Hot Girl persona (a lá S2 Steve making Tom Cruise and Risky Business his entire personality)
Thank you so much for asking about this, I’ve so many thoughts and ideas and general hcs about Steve being an Angel - sorry if this was very convoluted and ramble, especially when I ventured into the entire PC Music family tree, but I have so many thoughts and I just needed to let them out!!!
Let me know if you want anymore!!!
Edit: Pinning this post so my blog title makes more sense now (I’m expanding the lore)
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cactuskissez · 3 years
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Haikyuu boys as smokers 🍃
I got this idea while I was high~
Tendou Satori ✨
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music in the background
snacks ready at all times
usually craves something crunchy
small cooler full of all sorts of drinks
never pressures you to continue smoking if you don’t want to
always offers to you, he prefers to smoke with someone
brags about the time he got Ushijima to smoke with him
specific smoking playlist
keeps his knee touching yours
loves to talk about any and every theory
lights candles for the vibe
likes to play smoker games like baseball T-T rip to your lungs
makes his own edibles, he’s made some really good ones too
Sakusa Kiyoomi ✨
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rolls you a seperate joint, he doesn’t share his
doesnt care whether you join him or not, but when he invites you? He likes you
sometimes smokes with Komori after they win a game
Lo-fi type of music in the background
the longest he’ll have his mask off
prefers edibles over smoking
he brings air freshener cause he hates the smell
likes to cook while high, the food tastes better that way
naps HELLA hard after the sesh
Bokuto Koutarou ✨
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somehow he forgets the snacks every time..
his joints are too wet, so you have to roll it for him
sativa makes him even louder than before, while indica will make him stare blankly at the wall for an hour
once he starts talking? Good luck
he tried to hit the bong once and almost coughed half to death
he will Superman the roach.. no doubt.
LOUD MUSIC LOUD MUSIC
loves rap music, will rap to and for you, snoop dogg is his favorite
with the right people in the sesh, by the end of it, you’d have gotten a lap dance from him
cuddle bug when it’s nap time
Tanaka Ryūosuke ✨
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fuck joints, y’all rolling a phat ass blunt
story teller for daysss
he’ll bring up some random ass memory from ages ago
don’t let him smoke with Kiyoko, he’ll almost die while trying to show off
tough guy, he hits the bong easy
he and Noya once rode bikes to the gas station and crashed five times each trying to get there
jokes on jOkes. This man will send you into orbit. By the time you leave, you’ll feel like you’ve busted your appendix
listens to rappers like YG when he smokes
he has a “smoking hoodie”, no matter the weather he’ll have it on
he can do a bunch of cool smoking tricks
holds the blunt while he talks and Suga has to tell him to pass it
Sugawara Kōshi ✨
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you already know this boy is packed with snacks
catch him singing “SWEEEEET CAROLINEEE BUM BUM BUMMM” to you just about every time
definitely will call anyone out for holding the joint too long
definitely likes cooking some desserts with you
hypes you up to take a phat drag
dedicated a room just for smoking, so everyone will be comfortable
will beat your ass in Mario Kart, high or sober. This man is just that good
gets sleepy really fast
tells everyone how proud of everyone he is
loves to dance with you, even if there’s no music playing
Oikawa Toru ✨
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his rolls are always pretty~
likes to record himself lip syncing to the music on Snapchat
selfies with everyone!!
likes to smoke with a window cracked or the door open, he doesn’t wanna smell like it
prefers edibles cause they taste better
complains heavily when a piece of bud sticks to his tongue
pretty designs on his lighters
the amount of milk bread this man can go through after the sesh...
don’t play said music or Oikawa will get in his feelings
he’s a light weight so he can’t even finish half before he’s desended
he will get too lost in your story and zone out
Iwaizumi Hajime ✨
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rolls in front of everyone too show off like some cOol gUy
likes to drink Gatorade specifically
most contagious laugh ever, his laugh will send everyone rolling
he’s coughing from hitting the bong too hard
likes old Drake the rapper music in the background
has a fan on cause he gets too hot when he smokes
invites you more than Oikawa cause while you add to the vibe, Oikawa can be a buzz kill sometimes
goes to the gas station before, for the snacks.
Kuroo Tetsurō ✨
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usually only smokes with Bokuto or Kenma
the amount of nerd jokes this guy says.. it just- it MULTIPLIES when he’s high
once constructed an entire blue print for a plane, it was perfect design.
any music with a good beat he vibes with, he loves sharing the aux
ready to tell you a scary story when you two smoke at night
once you found him asleep and fully clothed, he was too high to figure out how to unbutton his pants
always sways to the beat of the song
will sing you an entire song while still holding the joint
him and Bokuto once sang the boat scene from Rapunzel to each other
craves ice cream every time
Terushima Yūji ✨
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always has a joint in him, ready to smoke anytime and any where
LOOOVES SMOKE TRICKS
if you can do a trick he can’t, he’ll smoke all his weed trying to do it
he loves putting people on to weed, he likes smoking buddies
if you don’t pay attention, he’ll have you stoned on accident. He has so much fun smoking with you, he looses track of how much you both smoked
Cross faded is his favorite, his drinking and smoking buddies come together
likes having songs like money machine by 100 gecs
loves to compete on who can hold in the hit the longest
only invites fun people to smoke with him, so feel a little special
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rhinointherain · 4 years
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25-8-2020
me and a***** talking about what some would call “really deep” emotional stuff
I feel very pure mentally somehow, like a child, or i mean the way that adults like to imagine the minds of children to be, like really at its core just wants good to come to people rather than harm, once that switches you become “grown up” in the eyes of society
Dichotomy between the “high/cosmic” levels of abstraction and “lower/internal” levels of personal comprehension. Like an “inverse” of each other see the diagram i drew a few entries ago, gonna try to draw some diagrams later, but anyway this time is more of an inner exploration there is def a dichotomy and i think both “directions” are equally worthy of exploration weed is def more internal, but even by shifting toward internal you start to be better able to perceive more in both directions bc you now understand that this movement can take place at all
hm i think i was talking about this same idea in one of the last few entries
i havent been going back through any of these old entries at all after having written them, bc when sober ive been dismissive of them just from what i remember, i think its because i might a little afraid of engaging with these ideas and the actual gravity that comes with believing they are significant
there is so much in the world to explore!
(made blog around the same time i made last entry, gave myself time to think before deciding whether to post on it, i think i will but with this entry first, then post each previous entry going backward until the first one, maybe i will add new entries before i completely finish posting those but as long as the posts are titled with the date on which they were written it should be clear enough. should i read them over before posting and choose if i’d like to omit anything? no what i should do is after today start recording in a written journal and while typing them up decide whether it would be more beneficial to have revisions or not)
Smoked again a few hours later, didnt write much just watched a rly good movie
A***** and i had a good conversation about attitude towards social change etc which you ought to remember and here are two afterthoughts from it:
The best person to effectively communicate an unpopular or difficult-to-understand idea is someone who has significant differences (in personality background etc) from the majority of people who do believe and or understand that idea, because they will probably have a different communication style and an “alternative” thought process that led to them believing or understanding it, and thus they’re much more likely to be able to effectively communicate the idea to the rest of the majority, who were unable to arrive at that idea by following the same thought process as the other people from the group of people who already understood and or believed in that idea. true also in the “opposite direction”: ie someone convincing somebody to leave a fringe group cant just use the same arguments everyone else has for not wanting to believe in their fringe beliefs, one needs to align their thought process more closely w the fringe group in order to actually “reach” them. This and many of the other thoughts i write down are not new thoughts or anything its just a more concrete explanation of something I’ve always thought and lived by life by even if subconsciously
The second thing i was thinking about is more directly related to the societal change thing: Me knowing that so much is wrong with society but deliberately not engaging with those problems is not necessarily stupid but it is cowardly. Also, if you really believe there is nothing wrong with society you’re definitely stupid, but you aren’t necessarily smart just because you know that something is wrong with it. Wanting to institute social change requires bravery which does deserve some merit in itself, but you really aren’t doing much more good than the people who are ignorant or the people who are cowardly if you lack the nuanced understanding of the problems and ability to form productive solutions that are necessarily to actually make a positive difference.
Am not all that high for all this though, id mostly come down by the end of the movie
sometimes i feel like a have a womans soul in a mans mind in a womans body ya know
ok and the only thing ive been able to think about for the past like 2 minutes is that short story about like the dude who visits a tibetan monastery and the monks had been writing out all the possible combinations of letters or something to eventually try to figure out the name of god but they just got a computer so now they were able to speed up the process by thousands of years and then the stars start going out well anyway yeah thats whats happening now except instead of monks finding the name of god its 100 gecs creating the album 1000 gecs last year
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