#15 year old me was rocking it

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[dykestriders]

camping filler arc means new outfits so says me

made for my dave & my girlfriends karkat because theyre going together and semi-matching (badly)

#disgrub #ds.art #dave strider #karkat vantas #look #theres layers to these designs i cant explain on tumblr beyond just trust me #dave is a 15 year old boy stuck on a meteor there is no way he isnt about to roll up to this event rocking pure High School Boy #and karkat got way too into laura dern jurassic park and wants to be semi fashionable but he ends up looking like a gigantic goober still #dave is so butch here but shhshhs i didnt say that #homestuck

[icewindandboringhorror]

reminders of the passage of time moodeboard

#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade #at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade #and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient.. #maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline #r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually #not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only #disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more #scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother)) #Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me #so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they #listen to or etc.etc. lol) #THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay #just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec #isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast #so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND #ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY #AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think.. #evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever #are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff #and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said #something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody #remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa #from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst #to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there.. #of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me #n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY #I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even #do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too #hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'. #etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr

[homoeroticgrappling]

#I'm too drunk t o see this in my twutter feed and not cry about it #pixelated the username cause sensitive topic etc #Danhausen is a treasure #''you rock feel better people love you'' would've meant everything to 15 year old me tbh #(seeing someone I admire say that means a lot to me now if I'm being hinest) #Danhausen

[teabagboy]

Imagining 27 year old Pretentious-Music-Nerd Will Byers hearing Britney Spears sing the song Baby One More Time and becoming obsessed. Every time Mike isn't home he indulges in his secret life and sings his heart out.

(Mike catches him one day and gives him shit for it forever. Its okay though, because now Will has someone to sing the song with)

#I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE #WHEN IM NKT WORH YOU I LOOSE MY MIND!! GIVE ME A SIGNNNN #yeah byers would rock that shit #the lyrics would totally release residue emotions from his yearning 15 year old self #im listening to 2000s pop and drawing so fun thoughts in my head #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #st hcs #stranger things #/me.talking

[digitalafterlife]

back in my jack off jill phase

#i know jessicka is a bad person whatever who isn't #15 year old me was completely right actually #is it an autistic thing to never really have your music taste change from when you were 15-16 #nobody else combines creepy with cute like them. riot grrrl with goth. fairy tale with horror #jack off jill #riot grrrl #alt rock #goth #eardrums #jamie.txt

[strawberrystepmom]

i hope when i die and get to hell the devil shows me how many times i’ve wept to in rainbows by radiohead over the expanse of this lifetime

#just me and my 15 year old alt rock album against the world baby #tbh I cry so much about everything all the time always have so I picture the devil as a tired school secretary in this #Allison Janney in ten things I hate about you core #he’s writing smut and annoyed I interrupted him #‘my stats say 26390 times. have a good day.’

[louderfade]

#i carried a printout of this around with me in my bag as a teenager bc i was a big dork #to be clear it was the pumpkins of whom i was such a fan and not billy specifically #besides being a terribly obnoxious cringelord going through a christian phase he was also terrifically up his own ass about his bad poetry #and he was always being a dick about/to people who use drugs which is a very bad look imo so i was not exactly a billy fan #so i don't know why this stupid thing was so important to me #i think i was grieving the fact that all my favorite bands broke up before i was old enough to see them live but who knows #tbh i think teenage reasoning is mostly a mystery to everyone. no one can explain their thought process from age 15. #even current 15 year olds seem to be pretty clueless and generally at the mercy of their own brains #when i think of being 15 i recall a lot of chaos and confusion and a vague but constant rage toward everything in general #but picses iscariot does rock. those songs hold up and so does gish. just sayin. #this has been a boring post about some shit i liked too much as a teenager that i bet you wish you'd just ignored at this point #follow for more boring content about my personal life likely to make you reevaluate the ways in which you spend your time #pastlife #smashing pumpkins

[cybersodas]

Out of context neotropolis spoilers this is quickman

#would you believe me if i said the 13 year old actually wasn’t rock #‘almost threw hands with a 15 year old human girl’ #speaking in binary

[anxiousnonbinary]

I don’t know what to do

I took the Autism Quotient test a few times over the last weeks, with variations of sleepiness. No score was lower than 44. My Raads-r score was 200-220. My Aspie Quiz results are 166 for nd and 27 for nt. I really relate to sooo much of the content here. But I’m masking sooo much AND I am considered academically gifted, which causes me to grasp the concepts of communication faster, which lets me mask better. So nearly nobody thinks it could be that I’m autistic. Also is autism where I live really not a topic for casual conversation. I am considering telling my therapist about my suspicion, but I have my next session in TWO MONTH!!! And I don’t really know her that well, I only had like 3-4 sessions yet. So I don’t have anyone to talk to and I have the feeling I am no longer able to mask so profoundly, so I am pushing more and more of my friends away with bluntness and ‘being rude’. Also, my mother antagonises every misconception in communication, because my father, her ex-husband, shows similar traits. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, it’s midnight after a big social event and I’m exhausted and English is my second language

#actually autistic #self diagnosed autism #my mother shouted at me for ‘being mean to my sister’ but I didn’t do anything #So I needed to hide under my blanket in my locked room #rock back and forth and cry for half an hour #Does that qualify as a breakdown? #I honestly don’t know #And then she forced me to attend a Christmas party #It wasn’t THAT bad; I could spend the time with a few 15 year olds; but they were really way to loud and confusing #I’m younger than that by the way #So I don’t know how much the test results are worth #My mother told me she tells herself every morning that I can’t help it and how disappointed she is with me #That scarred me. Like really. I didn’t cry that much in a really long time. It was horrible

[andromedasummer]

secondhand bookshops rule so hard esp my fav one in town. there are such specific sections for everything. in the scifi shelves theyve organized things by space sci-fi, sea sci-fi, dystopia etc. there's a paranormal romance section in the romance section. they have 3 shelves longer than i am tall dedicated to the star trek novelizations organized by series and 3 under that dedicated to dragonlance books. i went to look at their craft section and they had subsections for eras and styles of embroidery. i can look for motorsport books by series or manufacturer without coming across top gear books or car manuals, which have their own sections. i can find poetry by nz poets in their own bookcase and books by māori authors all over the shop because they've been marked by a specific tag on the binding.

#when i went there last year i found a bunch of little knitting books dedicated to weird and fun tea cosies for $15 #and my mother wanted to make some but was bored of the stuff she found online so i was like damn! mine now! #didnt buy anything today cos saving money and was just wasting time till next bus but they have a GIANT $90 encyclopedia of all of #shakespeares histories tragedies and comedies (all his plays!!!) #i remember 2 years back someone donated their grandfathers old racing book collection #and it was massive. 200 books. multiple in series like ''ferraris of 1958. ferraris of 1959'' #and so on up until the year he died #but the BEST thing was the bookstore owner showed me #a local published book on the new zealand grand prix #which is a race held here every year that nz drivers compete in #and taped on the inside of the cover was a form #and it was the mans entry form that he submitted to race and the paper showing his result in that years race #(it was in the 70s) #like thats AMAZING #he had a good few on the rally scene in wellington which i wanted to get but got snapped up :( #rally was HUGE back when #the reason our waterfront is so huge (biiig pavement that stretches from the water and rocks to the park/sitting areas #which are all elevated) is because rallies were held on the waterfront!? #so all the spectator stuff had to be raised up so no one would be hit if the car spun out #of course that meant cars would either go off the edge of the waterfront and into the rocks/harbour or slam into concrete walls #because it was the 60s and safety wasnt. a thing they considered.

[sukimas]

does your average early teen get $60/mo in allowance, no strings attached, nowadays?

#i was looking at schoolhouse rock episodes and even at the time i watched it $7.50 once a week seemed insanely high to me #15 bucks a week nowadays still seems insanely high to me for a 14 year old! #things change once you get your own job/have to drive/etc. but 60 dollars of unimpeded spending money seems like a lot

[sekwar]

I've been listening to a little band called Van der Graaf Generator. They sounded unlike anything else I had heard as a teenager, and coming back to it they still sound unlike anything today.

Their standout track has to be the 23-minute odyssey "A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers". Being the "cool" guy I was back in 2015, I made a lyric comic about it. A very low effort lyric comic. Like, so low effort it was like I had never listened to the song before I made the comic.

I never listened to the song before I made the comic. I just looked up the lyrics and thought they sounded cool. Slapped the words on the page, put my old persona in a random pose, bam.

Listening to the song after, I didn't grasp just how powerful it really was. With my current mental state, the song hits even harder.

I don't have the comic, thank God. I won't post it here for my own good. Nothing from my old DeviantArt account will ever grace this blog.

#sekwar says a thing #van der graaf generator #progressive rock #prog rock #pawn hearts #comic talk #15 year old me was a piece of shit #and it was only downhill for the next two years #if i do move to cohost i'll definitely post some art from this blog there. they can come along as a treat

[the-trans-dragon]

.

#when I start trying to prepare to move—it feels like the coldness of the bare floors creeps up into my blood and chest and heart and throat. #I stare at a single object and wonder if I’ll miss it or not. #I make a pile to donate. a pile to keep. a pile I might donate if I decide I won’t miss it too painfully. a pile I’ll miss but I don’t wsnt #to keep- I want to give away to someone who will love it like I did. a pile to ask my mom if she wants it for sentiment. a pile for #things that are trash but have salvageable components I can remove before throwing away. a pile of salvaged components that haven’t found a #use yet. a pile of things that are trash unless I find a way to fix them. a pile for a single item- a feather from my childhood pet bird #a pile of my old cat’s favorite planet and toy. a pile for gifts I was given that I never used but still treasure as they sit on a shelf. #a pile of fun rocks #a pile of paper clips that started as just office supplies but now they’re 15 years old and they remind me of warm summer childhood day #scraps of string and tiny empty boxes and wires to unknown electronics and acrylic paint that is too dry to donate but I could still use it #because I think it’s fun to do the work to re-pulverize it and turn it into pigmented paste again #a comb missing half its teeth but I can’t remember if it was a gift or not so I keep it just in case #a tiny pillow. is it even mine? it isn’t trash but a thrift store would probably just throw it away. but it isn’t trash so I keep it #a box of assorted nuts and screws and a tiny little jar that I know I’ll find the perfect use for one dayS #a little bag like the kind you get when you buy a bag of polished rocks. inside it are delicately folded soda pop bottle labels from #a birthday long long ago. #a small box of sequins I’ve had as long as I can remember. maybe I’ll make something with them so I can justify keeping them. #old clothes I loved that are too tattered to donate but might fit me again one day or make good fabric for something else #a single old sock but it’s elastic is still good and I should use the elastic for something because I’m always wishing I had some to spare #tickets to a state fair. booklet for a play i saw. graduation photo. a polite birthday card from a childhood nemesis. #it’s so hard to get rid of those things. it feels like throwing away my childhood. and I had a rough childhood! I don’t wanna throw away the #GOOD parts of it. I need those parts. I guess they’ll still be there even without the objects. but… #I can’t remember the Memories without the Objects. they are my memories. #maybe I should just start by filling boxes with Memory Objects. and once I’ve got them all together. I can see if I can part ways with any. #and if I can’t—well #at least they’ll be packed up. #I wish my medicine wasn’t a political debate… oh well. it’s always been hard to get meds. though I’ve never considered moving over it #I wonder if my surgeon will have time to for our consult before. my doctor tried to assure me that my PCOS would justify the surgery but I #I read the bill and it says No Removal Of Healthy Organs Associated With Your Sex Unless You Are In Danger Of Imminent Death #And I’m not dying from PCOS… I’m just like… Chronically ill from the chronic blood loss and overworked pain neurons and sometimes miss

[joons]

Random, but do you have any thoughts about Elton John?

I really like him as an artist but don't know a whole lot about him otherwise! I need to watch Rocketman, especially because I love Taron Egerton. Elton's a class act though and I love how much love and respect he gives to other artists.

#it feels like when i get interested in classic rock artists he's always around making sure their legacies are respected and honored #and that makes me cry #also there's this old show that ran for two episodes called viva laughlin where a guy is singing 'i'm still standing' on an escalator #and it's been my favorite clip from the soup for like 15 years #that's all i got

[trademarkhubris]

bitches be impressed by modern technology and the technology they're using is an audio jack cable, wired headphones and a guitar amp

#im bitches #noise.txt #ok but 15 years ago if i wanted to play loud electric guitar to emo rock id get 50 noise complaints in 5 minutes #oh god im old #had that realisation yesterday talking abt vegeble produce w my parents #i said 'can you fucking believe the price of tomatoes these days' and realised what i just said #my mom laughed at me for like ten minutes afterwards #.. speaking of her #she just knocked on my door asked if i was looking for a fight and then left #? #getting what im dishing i guess #whenever i hear her in the stairs i ask her if she wants me to beat her up #all jokes btw #im aware it's not funny #the joke is we wouldn't #well it's more than that but im already 57 tags in so