#But I definitely absolutely know it's out there for people who want it
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The White Swan, ft. tripleS Ji Seoyeon
tags: first time (with a small twist), creampie, friends-to-lovers (kinda), (a lot of) pet names
word count: 15k+ words
author's note: here it is, The White Swan fic that I've mentioned before. I know that it's a long one and I should probably write shorter fics but I just couldn't help it. Lmk what you think. Thanks for reading <3
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Ballet [noun; ba-ley, bal-ey]
“A classical dance form demanding grace and precision and employing formalized steps and gestures set in intricate, flowing patterns to create expression through movement.”
“Yeah, so what is that exactly?”, you wonder to yourself after looking up the word’s definition in the dictionary on your phone. “Grace and precision, huh? Interesting”, you continue. You put your phone in your pocket and promise yourself you’ll look up videos of people performing ballet when you get home as you keep walking past the lit-but-empty classrooms—it’s past 7 pm; most undergrads are at home, allowing the time and space for postgrads to do their stuff. You, a 3rd-year student, just finished tutoring Business Mathematics II on the 2nd floor of the F building to a bunch of sophomores and are now on your way home.
At least that was the plan, until you hear music coming out of one of the classrooms on the first floor. The music itself piques your curiosity, as you stop in front of the door of said classroom and look through the tinted glass door. You see that the chairs have been moved to the sides, creating a big empty space for the girl in the middle of the classroom; “wait, a girl?”, you think to yourself as you move your face closer to the glass. You keep your eyes on the girl wearing a long-sleeve T-shirt and grey training pants who’s dancing in that empty space; “that looks graceful and precise”, you mutter under your breath.
If someone were to see what you’re doing right now, they would most likely think you were a creep. You can’t even begin to describe how captivating and supple and charming the girl’s movements are. You also can’t help but keep your eyes on the girl the whole time—that is until the music ends, and she makes eye contact with you and starts walking to the door. It doesn't quite help you that she has a serious face on as she’s turning the door handle. “Hi, can I help you?”, she says. You don’t want her to think that you were stalking her, so you muster up your courage and get ready to apologize for peeking at her through the glass door like that. You start by bowing slightly before opening your mouth, “I was walking down from the 2nd floor and heard music coming out of this classroom, so I decided to see what was going on and ended up looking like a creep—which I’m not, just so we’re clear. I apologize for being so rude”.
You dare not look into her eyes and decide to look at your shoes instead while bracing for pain in case she slaps you in the face—let’s be real; it would be understandable on her part and deserving on yours. To your absolute surprise, she laughs instead; “oh, it’s fine”, she says, “you know, I’m kinda honored that someone decided to stop what they were doing and were fascinated by my routine”. You look up and see that she’s holding out a hand, probably looking to shake yours; “my name is Ji Seoyeon, but some call me Jiyeon to avoid confusion with someone else—you probably know who I’m talking about”, she says.
You nod at her words—she’s referring to Yoon Seoyeon, a fellow 3rd-year and the current president of the student council who also happens to be on the dean’s list; the girl does it all and boy does she do it well. You shyly take her hand for a handshake, and she surprises you one more time; “wait, aren’t you one of Professor Kim’s teaching assistants? I’ve been to one of your classes before. I think it was Business Mathematics II”, she reveals to you. “Funny you should say that”, you chuckle, “I just finished tutoring BM II and you weren’t there—for obvious reasons”. Her big eyes get even bigger due to her shock hearing your words and she runs to check her phone; “oh my goodness, it is Tuesday! I should’ve gone to your class!”, she exclaims and covers her face with her hands in embarrassment, “I’m so sorry, sunbaenim. I forgot that it was Tuesday thus I missed your class”. You shake your head and tell her that it’s not a big deal since TA’s classes aren’t mandatory.
“So, what now? Are you going to practice again?”, you ask. Jiyeon opens her mouth but before the words can come out, her stomach answers for her with a growl. “Oh, you must be hungry. Haven’t eaten yet?”, you are as surprised as she is. “I wanted to get dinner after practicing b-but you got to me first”, she turns her face away to hide her embarrassment. “I know I’m overstepping here but can I treat you to dinner?”, you offer her, hoping that she won’t take it as anything else other than a gesture of kindness and apology. Jiyeon looks down at her shoes before answering, “um, yes, please. Let me wipe myself first, though; I’m very sweaty”.
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You find yourself walking towards the campus gate with Jiyeon, and you see your friend Suyeon in front of it, presumably waiting for someone or something. You walk up to her and tap her shoulder, “yo, waiting for someone?”. She turns to your direction and gives you a fist bump, “yeah, waiting for my Uber. What about you?”. You tell her your plan to get dinner before going home. “Sounds nice, can I come along?”, as soon as Suyeon says that, she makes eye contact with Jiyeon, “oh, you already have company. I would hate to third wheel”. You take a step back so that the two girls can face each other, “Suyeon-ah, this is Ji Seoyeon—also known as Jiyeon. Jiyeon-ah, this is my friend, Suyeon”. Suyeon shakes Jiyeon’s hand and asks, “Seoyeon? Like the president?”. Jiyeon answers timidly, “exactly like the president, sunbaenim. Please call me Jiyeon”. Before Suyeon starts assuming things, you jump to clarify, “I, uh, was spying on her like a weirdo when she was practicing in an empty classroom so now, I want to treat her to dinner as an apology”. “I didn’t ask”, Suyeon says before laughing, “nice to meet you, Jiyeon-ah. Tell me if he tries anything and I will whoop his ass for you”. You roll your eyes, “I might be single but I’m not a degenerate, Kim Suyeon”. “True, you’re actually nice and respectful—now get out of here, she must be starving already”, Suyeon gives you another fist bump and sends you on your way.
“So, any idea what to get?”, you ask Jiyeon as you two leave the campus area. “I kinda want something warm—something with broth or soup”, she says. “I don’t usually eat that sort of food, so I have no idea, sorry”, you admit your cluelessness. “That’s okay, we can go to my favorite spot if you don’t mind”, she says. “I sure don’t; lead the way”, you tell her. “Can we get an Uber? It’s like 5 kilometers away from here—I’ll pay, don’t worry”, she suggests. Walking for 5 kilometers is not only tiring, but also time consuming, so you agree with her suggestion; “yeah, we can get an Uber. I’ll pay for it, it’s okay—I’m not accepting counter arguments, by the way”.
You two stop in your tracks and wait for Jiyeon to call an Uber. Lucky for you, the app shows her that the car is 3 minutes away from your location, so you try to make small talk as you wait; “so what were you practicing? Your moves looked delicate, for a lack of better words”. You see a light of excitement in her eyes as she answers you, “that was ballet”. “Ballet, huh?”, you say internally. “There’s a ballet competition coming up in like 3 weeks or so and I’ve been preparing for that since last week”, she adds. “Do you think I can go and watch you perform?”, you ask her with as genuine a voice as possible. “You probably can”, she fiddles with her phone, presumably to ask someone about your question, “I’m gonna ask the contact person and find out exactly”. You see the car pulling up to you, so you save the rest of the conversation for later.
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You’re now standing in front of a noodle soup restaurant and Jiyeon leads you into it. She walks straight to the register and tells the person attending it her order. She asks you what you want to eat but since you’re not familiar with the place, you ask her to order for you. After ordering, she leads you to her favorite table and takes a seat in front of you. “Oppa”, she says while looking at her phone, “the person said you can watch but you’ll need a ticket. How many do you want?”. Your heart flutters when you hear her call you that, but you quickly compose yourself and answer her question, “I’ll just take one, I don’t know if any of my friends would be interested in watching ballet. Can you ask them if there’s a better seat, by the way? I don’t mind paying extra as long as I get better view to see you perform”.
It is when Jiyeon gets off her phone does she realize what she just called you, “I’m sorry, sunbaenim”. You have an idea as to what she’s apologizing, but it doesn't hurt to make sure; “for what?”, you ask back. “I called you ‘oppa’ earlier, but I don’t know if I can call you that”, she says, apologetic. You wave off her concern, “it’s fine, there’s no need to act so formal with me”. You can feel that things are getting awkward, as shown by how Jiyeon speaks way less compared to earlier. Lucky for you, a waiter stops at your table and drops off your orders. Lucky for you again, Jiyeon seems to be excited seeing the bowl of warm noodle soup in front of her; “thank you for the meal!”, she says with excitement in her voice.
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“Thank you for buying me dinner, sunbaenim”, she says while the two of you stand outside the restaurant. “The pleasure is mine, Jiyeon-ah.Any update about the ticket?”, you say to her. “Oh, right”, she fishes her phone from her pocket again and checks her messages, “okay so, the VIP ticket costs ₩8.000 and ₩10.000 for VVIP. VVIP is guaranteed to be on the first two rows while VIP is 3-5”. It’s a no-brainer for you, really; “I’ll take the 10k one, I need to make sure I’ll be able to see you”, you tell her. You pretend to not see her blush, but it’s kind of hard to do so you look away for a second as her fingers pace around on her phone screen restlessly. “Oppa”, you’re really starting to think that she’s become more comfortable with you, “the person said they need 1 or 2 days to process your purchase. In the meantime, can-can I, uh, have your number?”. You tell her your number digit by digit and manage to peek at the name she gives you; “BM TA-oppa”, how cute. After saving your contact information, she calls your number so that you can save hers on your phone. Your dullness leads you to naming her “Ji Seoyeon”, just like how you name everyone else on your phone aside from your parents.
“May I ask what your plan is after this?”, you ask Jiyeon. “I’m gonna walk home, I think; I don’t live far from here, somewhere in that direction”, she points vaguely to her left. You offer to walk with her to her apartment, and she says yes right away—she most likely heard what Suyeon said about you at the gate and thought that you wouldn’t try anything stupid with her, which is absolutely correct. You also offer to help her carry her tote bag and start walking in the direction she pointed at.
As you’re walking side by side with Jiyeon, your brain suggests asking her about ballet; “what is ballet to you, Jiyeon-ah?”. She stays silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath, “ballet is a lot of things, oppa”. You’re not quite sure what she means, so you ask her to explain further. “First of all, ballet has taught me self-control and discipline; you can’t be good at ballet if you lack those two things—how can you convey grace and emotions, which is the whole point of ballet, to the audience if you can’t control yourself and be disciplined?”, she explains to you. You can tell that she has quite the experience and wisdom under her belt judging by her answer; “may I ask how long you’ve been into ballet? Your answer sounds like that from someone with experience”, you say to her. She scratches her temple, “Since I was 8 or 9, I think?”.
You finally arrive at her building after about 5 minutes of walking, so you hand her tote bag back to Jiyeon. She waves at you with a smile before entering her building, so you wave back before walking away. You’re only a dozen steps away from her building when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around and see that it’s Jiyeon; “can I help you?”, you ask her. “Um, yes, you can; can you help me find empty classrooms to practice in?”. You do have that sort of reach as a teaching assistant, so you tell her that you indeed can, “when are you looking to practice?”. She pulls out her phone again and looks at her schedules, “Friday evening this week, Wednesday and Friday evening the following week, and finally Tuesday and Wednesday the week after that—each session will be like 2 hours long, by the way. I will miss another class of yours in that 3rd week, so I apologize in advance”. You pull out your phone and write down her practice schedules on the notes app, “I can secure a classroom for you this Friday but I’ll need to talk to some people for the other schedules”, you say to her. “Thank you, oppa. See you on Friday!”, she waves at you again before running back to her building.
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Friday comes sooner than you anticipated, which means that you’ll be seeing Jiyeon after this tutoring session. You wrap up your class after the 55 minutes are up and send the freshmen on their way while urging them to be quick, stating that you have an important meeting after this—Jiyeon is important to you, so you’re not exactly lying to them. Once the class is clear of people, you send a text to Jiyeon, “I’m in Classroom 2-4 on the F building, it’s clear here”. She replies right away and says that she’s on her way to you, so you start moving the chairs to the side and make some room for Jiyeon.
Her timing couldn’t be more perfect, as you hear a knock on the door as soon as you’re done clearing the room. You tell her to come in and see that she’s in a different practice outfit from a few days ago. “Hiiii”, she says as she closes the door behind her. “Hello, Jiyeon-ah. How are you today?”, you greet the ballerina. “A couple of questions before we start”, she says, “number one; can I actually call you ‘oppa’? Number two; how did you manage to find an empty classroom for me seemingly so easily?”. You sit down on the teacher’s chair, “number one: yes, you can. Number two: did you forget that I’m a TA? I can do these sort of things, you know—Professor Kim gave me this freedom when I became her TA”. Jiyeon nods to your answers, “very cool”. You take your backpack and head to the door. “Oppa, where are you going?”, she asks. You’re caught off guard by her question, “Oh, I don’t know; I just thought I should leave and give you some privacy”. She rushes to you and grabs your wrist, “do you not want to watch me practice? I can give you an exclusive preview for the competition”. That sounds like a fun time as much as it is a spoiler, so you concur and take a seat at the teacher’s desk.
“Start the music on my signal, please”, she hands you her phone and takes the center spot. She mouths the countdown, and you press play right after she finishes it. The same music from a few days ago starts playing, and Jiyeon starts her routine right away. You are immediately fascinated by her movements, and you can’t help but be silent and wholeheartedly pay attention. You find every movement she’s making to be charming and moving but can’t string the words together to describe it; “this must be what a pro looks like”, you think to yourself.
You’re completely entranced by the sight in front of you that you don’t realize that the performance is complete. Only when she sighs do you come back to your senses and feel the tears that are falling out of your eyes and onto your cheeks. “That was not as good as I wanted, I’m sorry”, she says. She hears your subtle sniffle and looks at you perplexedly, “are you okay, oppa? Why are you crying?”. You sniffle before answering her, “wha-what do you mean that wasn’t good? Like-like… what?”. You wipe your eyes with your hands before continuing your speech, “that was… sooo beautiful and charming and captivating and flawless and-and-and—oh, God, I’ve never seen anything like that before in my life”. Jiyeon walks up to you and lifts your chin with a smile on her face, “you’re so sweet, oppa; Suyeon-sunbaenim was right”. She then wipes your tears softly with her thumbs, “thank you for the kind words, oppa. They mean a lot to me, you know”.
You take a few deep breaths to compose yourself before sighing, “I swear I’ll cry like a damn baby if I see you perform this at the competition”. She walks back to her spot and assumes a perfect standing posture, “I’m sorry, I should’ve started with something lighter—I’ll do it now, actually. Here, play the 24th song”. You’re surprised to hear the number, “you have 24 routines, dear?”. She blushes and covers her face when she hears the pet name, “ki-kind of—aaaaaah don’t call me that, oppaaaaa”. You lightly slap your mouth, “I’m so sorry; force of habit from my parents”. Jiyeon exhales and focuses again, “press play now, the song doesn’t start until after a few seconds”.
She stands by and waits for the song to start, which takes about 5 seconds after you pressed play. You’re totally bewitched again and brought back to a trance like earlier, as you sit with your mouth open like a dumbass. “Whoa”, you mutter under your breath, “this girl is crazy good”. You wish you were able to come up with a sentence—or a paragraph—that can describe the way she’s moving right now. It just so happens that your brain is too busy trying to comprehend what you are looking at. At some point, your brain decides to give up and tells your eyes to shed more tears. Unlike earlier, however, you can feel your tears rush down your face; “so this is ballet, huh?”, you say to yourself.
Her routine ends with her looking straight at you, so you cover your eyes to hide the flowing tears. Judging by her pants, she seems to be tired—if you’re doing something that passionately the way she is now, you’re guaranteed to be tired after. You turn away from her and wipe your eyes before saying anything. “I’m so sorry, you must think I’m some sort of a loser for crying so much”, you admit your defeat despite feeling embarrassed. “No, I don’t”, she says, “you have a good heart and that’s always a great sight to see”. She walks to her stuff and grabs a bottle of water, “would you like some water?”. You decline her offer by shaking your head, “with the way I’m crying right now, I’ll just drink my tears”.
She laughs before taking a gulp herself, “you know, I’ve never had someone cry when they watch me practice before, and I’ve practiced in front of people many times”. You look down in shame, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what has gotten into me”. “Thank you, oppa”, she utters. You turn to face her, “huh? For what?”. She exhales deeply before replying, “for showing genuine interest in my craft”. To your surprise, she decides to give you a peck in the cheek, thus forcing you to blush. “I’m just being myself, Jiyeon-ah”, you say. “That’s not my name, is it?”, she giggles cutely, “where did the pet name go? Did a cat steal it, oppa?”. You feel your cheeks get hotter, “are you sure I can call you that? I mean, the first one was an accident”. She shrugs, “I don’t see why not. Accidents aren’t always bad, oppa; they can lead you to great things too, you know”.
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You stayed with her until the end of her practice, which took about 2 hours in total. With every routine she did, you laid a brick to build up some resemblance of mental toughness to not bawl your eyes out the whole time—you’re slightly worried that you’ll eventually be desensitized by the gracefulness that she’s showing you through ballet, but that’s a problem for another time. “Dear”, you call out to Jiyeon, who is now lying on her stomach while fiddling with her phone, to get her attention, “can I treat you to dinner again after this?”. She rolls onto her back to look at you, “Sure, what are we getting?”. You open your notes app scroll through the list of good restaurants nearby, “tteokbokkiand popcorn chicken? Malatang? Noodle soup like last time, maybe?”. “The first option sounds good. Can we get that?”, Jiyeon says. “We sure can, we’ll take my car and drive there”, you stand up from your seat and help her get on her feet. “Wait outside, dear; I wanna change clothes first”, she says. You rush to exit the room to make sure Jiyeon doesn’t see the blush and shock on your face.
You wait outside as she asked, and it didn’t take long until you feel a tap on your shoulder. “Let’s go, oppa”, she says. “Man, I would love to hear the pet name again”, you silently wish, “yeah, let’s go. My car is in the parking lot”. “I didn’t know you had a car”, she comments as the two of you start walking. “And I didn’t know you were a ballet prodigy—surprise, surprise”, you joke. She laughs enthusiastically at your small joke and suggests a brilliant idea; one you’ve been waiting for her to say, “we should get to know each other better soon, oppa. I like surprises and all that but not when I’m looking for a boyfriend”. You pretend to not hear what she just said and keep walking until you reach your car.
You unlock the doors and get in with Jiyeon. “Why is your car so clean, oppa?”, she looks around the interior and even opens the glovebox—you’re surprised to see her do that but thankfully you barely keep stuff in it so she doesn’t find anything that might raise suspicion. You know you got caught, so you admit to her that you had your car all cleaned up yesterday to prepare for the dinner “date” tonight. “Ah, good job thinking ahead”, she praises you. You head to the exit and call out to your phone to find the quickest route to get to your destination; “8 minutes to destination”, it says. As much as you want to act like you were that famous racer Scott Chegg and beat the estimated time, you have an important passenger next to you right now, so you suppress your intrusive thoughts and drive like a sane person.
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“Alright, let’s park here and walk. The restaurant is in that alleyway to your left—stay in the car for a sec, please”, you say to her after parking your car and killing its engine. Jiyeon does as you say, and it gives you enough time to rush to the other side of the car and open the door for her; “my lady”, you say, offering her your hand to help her get out of the car. “Aww, so cute”, she takes your hand and gets out of the car. Jiyeon decides that it’s now okay to have more physical contacts with you, as she leans her head against your shoulder while wrapping an arm around yours. As much as you enjoy it, you don’t want to let your horses run out of the barn just yet; there’ll be plenty of opportunities to do so in the future (hopefully). You point to the restaurant that has a bright yellow and blue sign and lead her to it.
“Good evening, welcome to Terrific Tteokbokki. What can I get you today?”, the staff greets you. You’re familiar with this place, so it’s your turn today to order for the two of you, “hi, good evening. Can we get one large bowl of Terrific Combo and two drinks?”. “Absolutely”, the staff’s finger scurries around the computer screen in front of him, “that would be ₩9000 with the drinks”. You see Jiyeon pull out her wallet as you do yours, so you hold her hand back and insist on paying for tonight’s dinner. The staff then hands you two large empty cups for the bottomless drink that comes with the combo. You hand Jiyeon a cup and walk over to the drink machine with her. You fill your cup with iced lemon tea while she fills hers with zero-sugar soda. “You like soda, Jiyeon-ah?”, you ask her. “Only if it’s zero-sugar, otherwise it’s too much sugar—paying attention to what you eat and drink is important, oppa. I suggest doing so if you haven’t already”, she says. You then tell her that you only pay attention to how much you eat and how much you exercise in a day but not to the actual nutritional contents of your food.
You both find a table to sit at and wait for your food to be delivered. Jiyeon follows up on the conversation from a few minutes ago; “can I ask what your exercise is like?”, she asks. “I play basketball for at least an hour on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and lift weights on Monday and Thursday. On the weekend I usually get on the treadmill to get my steps in”, you explain to her. “You play basketball, oppa?”, she looks at you in disbelief. You’re not quite sure why or how she finds that to be surprising considering your height—anyone who sees your height usually assume that you play either basketball or volleyball, “yeah, I was a role player playing off the bench as a freshman when Yoon Seoyeon’s boyfriend was the captain and I won the national championship with him. I left the team in my sophomore year after he graduated—he got summa cum laude, by the way. My man instantly got a job after graduating at a tech startup after that. He was always the big brain both on the court and in the classroom”, you tell her. “But why did you leave the team? You could’ve taken over as the captain”, she presses on. You sigh at the cheerless memory, “the captain left some gigantic shoes to fill, and no one could fit in them, including myself—no one could replicate what he was as a leader and a player. Team morale started sinking to the bottom of the Mariana Trench as we started crashing out of tournaments as favorites, so I decided to dip and became a TA instead”. You see a bright lightbulb float over her head as she suggests an idea, “can we have a little basketball date one day, oppa? I would love to learn basketball from you”. “We sure can, dear. Just tell me when”, you smile at her.
“Thank you for the meal!”, Jiyeon says with an excited face after a waiter drops off the food on your table. “That is so good, oppa. Do you come here often?”, she says. You swallow your mouthful before replying, “yeah, the captain used to take us here on the weekends. He was such a good guy, no wonder Seoyeon loves him so much”. She tilts her head in curiosity, “you speak so highly of this captain, oppa. Can I ask what sort of relationship you have with him?”. Recounting the cheerful memory helps draw a smile on your face, “he was the true leader for us; his presence alone could lift the spirit of every player around him. Not to mention that he was such a great scorer and facilitator for the team. We all relied on him every time he was on the floor”.
In the corner of your eyes, you see a tall guy start walking up to you and Jiyeon from the cashier area. “Yo, yo”, the guy says, so you look over and see that it’s the captain that you were talking about. “Hyung!”, you drop your jaw in shock, “what are you doing here?”. He gives you a fist bump, “I’m getting some food for me and Seoyeon. What are you doing here?”. You wipe your mouth before answering him, “I’m treating my friend here for dinner. It’s so nice to meet you, hyung. How are you?”. You see that gentle smile that you always liked on his face, “I’m doing very well, man. Would you mind introducing me to this friend of yours?”. You turn to Jiyeon, “hyung, this is my friend Ji Seoyeon—yes, the same first name as your girlfriend—Jiyeon-ah, this is my captain”. Jiyeon stands up and greets him, “hello, sunbaenim. Nice to meet you”. “Oh, there’s always room for more sweet girls named Seoyeon in this world. Please, have a seat”, he says, “tell me something, Jiyeon-ah: is he treating you well? I’ll kick his ass to the ground for you if he ever tries anything dumb with you”. Jiyeon laughs shyly, “he’s actually very kind and sweet, sunbaenim. He even helped me find an empty classroom so that I can practice ballet”. Captain-hyung nods in approval, “Ballet, huh? That’s great to hear; I could tell that he was a good person when he first joined us for practice. I sometimes wish we could utilize him more during that run”. His words make you shy, “oh, c’mon, hyung; you know I was always happy with my role, right?”. “Oh, I know”, he pats you on the back, “we couldn’t have done it without you”.
You hear the staff call out his name, which means that his order is ready to be picked up and it’s time for him to leave. “I tried paying for your food, but I was told that you already paid so your next visit here is on me, you can buy whatever you want and I’ll pay”, he waves goodbye before walking out the door, “I’ll see you soon, okay?”. You don’t realize that you still have a smile on your face until Jiyeon tells you about it, “you like him that much, huh?”. You turn your focus back to Jiyeon and the food in front of you, “I love him”. Jiyeon smiles hearing you say that, “but do you love me?”. Your eyes nearly jump out of their sockets due to the surprise, “o-oh, um, I-I do, honestly—I hope that’s not too presumptuous of me”. Jiyeon looks down at the table to hide her pink hue, “I love you too, dear”.
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“Oppa”, she says, standing outside the restaurant, “can you take me home, please?”. “Absolutely, dear”, you get in the car with Jiyeon and start it so you can take her home. “Can I play some music, oppa? There’s this group that I’ve been obsessed with”, she says. You give her your approval, so she connects her phone with your car’s speakers over Bluetooth. “This song is called Girls Never Die, oppa”, she says as the song starts playing. You listen and pay attention to the song that’s playing over the speakers as you keep driving. You find the lyrics to be moving and meaningful while the beat is uplifting; “this is a great song”, you think. “What do you think, oppa?”, she asks. “I think it’s a great song”, you offer her your take, “I really like how they say ‘even if I fall, I stand back up’ and ‘I’m going until the end and not giving up. I think such messages are very uplifting and relatable, especially coming from a girl group. Combine that message with the beat that it’s delivered with, and it’s just an amazing song. The title itself is great, by the way. What group is this?”. She smiles in approval of your opinion, “they’re called tripleS and they have 24 members, oppa. I’ve been listening to their songs a lot recently for the messages that each one delivers”. You squint your eyes, “isn’t 24 too many?”. Jiyeon chuckles, “apparently not, no”.
-
“We’re here, dear”, you announce to Jiyeon, who happened to fall asleep during the ride. She slowly wakes up from her peaceful nap, “we are? That’s unfortunate”. You look at her with a confused face, “what do you mean?”. She stretches her arms and yawns, “I would love to spend more time with you”. Your horses start getting excited, but you hold them for now, “we can do that in the future. You should rest, you must be tired from practicing”. She twiddles her finger, showing you some aegyo, “can you open my door like before?”. You get out of the car with a smile on your face and open the passenger door for her, “may I, sweetie?”. “Aaaah, oppaaa”, she takes your hand while her cheeks are on fire—with how often she’s blushing tonight, you might as well start calling her tomato cheeks. You walk her to the door of her building and say your farewell. Instead of walking into her building, she decides to walk closer to you. “Can I help you, dear?”, you ask, unsure of her intentions. “Lean forward, please”, she says. You lean forward as requested and your new height allows her to give you a peck on the lips while being on her tippy toes. “I love you”, she confesses. You get to her eye level and reciprocate her confession while looking straight into her big eyes, “I love you too, baby”. “That’s new”, she giggles before sighing, “I was going to ask you to come up with me but I’m super tired. I’m sorry, oppa”. You pet her head softly, “we’ll get more chances in the future, trust me. I’ll see you for your next practice, okay?”
-
Today is Tuesday in the third week of her schedule. It's been two weeks since Jiyeon kissed you (well, pecked you on the lips) in front of her building. You helped her secure one of the big classrooms on the 3rd floor last week so that she could have more space to practice. She even asked you to record her practices because she wanted to monitor herself after. Just like week one, you brought her to dinner and took her home after each session, all that while getting to know each other better with every conversation and every bit of skinship.
Today’s practice session has just ended, too. “Oppa, I’m going straight home. You don’t have to buy me dinner”, she says while sitting on the floor and leaning against a wall—“she’s not as high-spirited as usual”, you say in your head. “Can I take you home?”, you offer her as you grab your keys. Jiyeon rejects your offer by shaking her head, “I’ll take the bus and walk after that. Thank you for the offer, though”. You come up to Jiyeon and kneel in front of her to get to her eye level, “are you okay?”. You see on her face that she has a lot of things in mind; “honestly, I’m not. Today was rough”, her deep sigh sends a pang of sadness to your heart, “I don’t feel like talking about it right now, sorry”. She signs to you that she wants to be helped onto her feet, so you stand up and help her up. “We can walk together to the gate, though”, she says.
Jiyeon has been silent the whole way to the gate, and it has become very obvious to you that she’s not feeling well at all—depressing sight, really. It’s a shame that you don’t know who she usually hangs out with because otherwise you’d be able to ask what she likes and get it for her as a small gift next time you see her. “Thank you, oppa. I’ll walk to the bus station, get on a bus, and then continue walking to my building”, she says when you two arrive at the gate. You nod, “I hope you feel better soon. Tell me if I can help you in any way, okay?”. You two exchange goodbyes and go in different directions after.
-
You just arrive at your apartment and walk straight to the bathroom after dropping your stuff at the door. You stand in the shower wondering what you can do to help Jiyeon feel better. After exploring potential options, you eventually come up with an idea to buy her some chocolate and chips when you see her tomorrow for her last practice before the competition. You hear a chime from your phone as you’re getting out of the shower. When you go check it, it’s a bunch of text messages from Jiyeon.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 21:24]
Oppa
I just finished showering, in bed rn
I’m so sorry for being a bitch to you earlier
I’ll see you tomorrow for my last practice
Thank you for being so kind to me all the time <3
You rub your eyes in disbelief—there’s no way she just called herself a bitch. You then form your replies and send it to her.
[You | 21:25]
Hi sweetie
No, you weren’t being a bitch
Don’t call yourself that ever again
It’s okay to not feel well sometimes
I can tell that you’re tired and possibly frustrated
Lmk if I can help
I’ll see you tomorrow, dear <3
Jiyeon sees the text that you sent her; “oh, he can tell I’m not feeling well; was it too obvious?”, she says to herself. “Oppa”, she sighs, “what would I do without you?”. Jiyeon tries to come up with another reply, wanting to express her gratitude and love for you, but then decides against it and chooses to say it to you directly tomorrow. She lies in her bed and feels tears flowing out; “if only you know how grateful I am for you, oppa”, she wipes the tears on her cheeks with her hand, “I will make you mine, oppa; no one else deserves you more than me”.
-
Every day you wake up and feel a rush of excitement in your heart at the prospect of seeing Jiyeon. You are, however, a bit sad and concerned as this Wednesday is the last day of practice and you’re not sure if she’ll be down to seeing you again after the competition. You have secured the same classroom as yesterday for her to practice in tonight, so at least you have that going for you. You put your worries to the side and promise yourself that you’ll accept whatever outcome you might get today.
You get in the car after showering and putting on an old jersey and shorts, ready to go to the supermarket to get some groceries since you plan on inviting Jiyeon over for dinner, aside from the fact that you’re running out of some items as well. You sincerely hope she doesn’t see this gesture as an attempt to get in her pants, because it really isn’t; you just want to show off your cooking (read: “pasta boiling and cheese grating”) skills to Jiyeon.
Once you get there, you pull out your phone and start getting one item after the other from different aisles of the supermarket. It doesn't take too long to get everything since you’ve categorized the items into the aisles that they’re in. You stop near the meat and fish section and look at your list again to make sure you’re not forgetting anything: dried macaroni and fettucine noodles, unsweetened milk, zero-sugar soda, smoked paprika powder, instant noodles, bok choys, carrots, boneless chicken thighs, mozzare—someone’s tapping your shoulder from behind; “can I help you?”, you say as you turn around to see who it is.
You see that it’s Jiyeon who was trying to get your attention. “Hiiiiiii”, she says excitedly, visibly feeling much better than when you last saw her. You tuck a stray strand of hair on her face behind her ear, “hi, sweetie. What are you doing here?”. She tickles your waist with both hands, “you stole my line, oppaaaa”. “Ahahaha okay, okay, you win—how did you know I’m tickly there?”, you hold Jiyeon by the wrists to stop her from tickling you. “I didn’t, I was just guessing. Glad to know you’re tickly there, though”, she tries freeing her wrists from your hands, so you let her go with no resistance. “No, but seriously, what are you doing here?”, you ask again. She points to her basket that she left near the soap rack, “I am getting some soap, shampoo, and skincare stuff”.
Jiyeon moves in front of you and looks at your trolley; “quite the stuff you have here, oppa”, she comments as she picks up a bag of macaroni from it, “inviting someone over for a meal?”. You’ve been caught for the second time in 3 weeks, all thanks to how sharp of a perception Jiyeon has; “I, um, was actually planning on inviting you over for dinner one day”, you say, scratching the back of your head and feeling embarrassed. “Awww, so sweet”, she puts the bag of macaroni down and continues, “what are we having tonight?”. “I-I’ve been obsessed with mac and cheese, and I wanted to make some for you, as you can tell by the milk and macaroni and mozzarella—oh, I also have some zero-sugar soda for you”, you show her said items you have in your trolley. She nods in approval when she sees the items you’re showing her, “great timing, seriously. I’ve been craving mac and cheese myself. With the way we think alike, we must be meant for each other, oppa”. You turn your head to the right to hide your blush, and you see the assortment of meat in front of you; “oh, hey, I was going to get this”, you pick up a pack of thinly sliced beef before putting it into your trolley, “500 grams a pack, huh? Sounds good”.
You head to the cashier with Jiyeon and pay for your stuff and hers. “I see that you didn’t buy alcohol. Do you not drink, oppa?”, she says. You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head, “I hate the idea of being drunk and possibly not having control of my actions—like what if I did something criminal while being drunk? That would be disastrous for everyone. I know people say ‘well, you can drink responsibly’ but not drinking to begin with is my way of being responsible”, you explain to her. She nods in agreement, “that’s a good approach to it, I think. Come on, let’s get out of here”. You chuckle as the splitting doors of the supermarket close behind you, “and go where, my cute ballerina?”. The realization stops Jiyeon in her tracks—where can you two go together after an impromptu meeting? It’s not lunch time yet, either. Thankfully for Jiyeon, she thinks fast and can come up with plans in an instant; “can I come over, oppa? I would love it if I could chill there until class starts”. “So, I guess we’ll go to your place first to get some stuff? That way you can go to your class from my apartment; it’s closer to campus than yours anyway”, you complete her idea with your own.
You put your stuff in the trunk and start driving to Jiyeon’s apartment. She told you to not come up with her so you wait in your car on the side of the street until she comes out. You scroll through social media for what feels like a few minutes, and that’s when she opens the passenger door and jumps back in. You notice that she only has a small laptop bag, so you make a comment referring to it, “not too busy of a day, I see”. “Mm-hmm”, she says, “two classes, 3 credits each. There’s a reason I’ve been practicing on Wednesdays, you see. Start driving, oppa; I want to chill in your apartment right meow”.
-
“Welcome to my apartment. Please make yourself at home”, you say as you open the door for her. She walks straight in after taking off her shoes but not her socks; “oi, oi, not so fast”, you call out to her, “socks off, please—you can wear these sandals”. She timidly jogs back to where you are and grabs the sandals from your hands, “sorry, I got too excited”. “Excited for what? There are barely things here”, you ask her. She pouts cutely and points at the sofa in front of the TV, “that thing looks soooooo soft, oppa. Can I lie down on it, pleaaaaase?”. You pet her head softly to encourage her, “go on, dear. I’ll get you a blanket”. “Yay!”, she enthusiastically runs to the sofa and lies down on it, “my God, this is sooo comfortable”. You return to her with a spare blanket and cover her with it, “it gets pretty cold in this apartment, so I’ll cover you with this so that you don’t freeze—I imagine a frozen ballerina wouldn’t be able to perform well on stage”. She accepts your gesture with a smile, and only now do you realize how sweet Jiyeon’s smile is; “I will do everything I can to protect that smile, sweetie”, you promise to yourself.
You take a seat on the armchair next to the sofa and pull out your phone, “what time is your class? Would you like to eat something now?”. She sighs as she turns to lie on her side, “1 pm, oppa. I would love to eat something but I’m also sleepy so please let me sleep here for a few hours and wake me up at 12:15”. She closes her eyes immediately after saying that, so you make your way to your bedroom and chill there until 12:15. You decide to get some extra sleep after setting an alarm at 12:10 and 12:15 to make sure Jiyeon won’t be late to her class.
In your sleep, you feel like a weight has been put on top of your body thus making it hard for you to breathe. As an attempt to keep your goofy ass alive, your brain shakes you awake. “Huh?”, you mumble softly with only half of your consciousness in your body. “Oh, it’s Jiyeon”, your brain says as it closes your eyes to go back to sleep—“WAIT, IT’S JIYEON!”, the discovery sends shock to your body. You don’t want to disturb her peace, though, so you calm your breathing and stay still. You dare wrap your arms around her body, and she lets out a soft hum in response; “I hope she won’t kick me in the balls when she wakes up”, you quietly pray to whatever heavenly being is looking down on the both of you.
You slowly unwrap your arm and grab your phone to look at the time; 12:02, it says. As soon as you return your arm to its previous position, Jiyeon wakes up from her slumber and looks at you with heavy eyes. “Hi, darling”, you greet the girl on top of you. “Why did you leave me, oppa?”, she rests her head on your chest again. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I just wanted to lie on the bed until 12:15”, you pet her head to apologize. She looks at you and pinches your cheek playfully, “well, you should’ve carried me to bed with you. It was cold on the sofa, you know?”. A pang of guilt strikes you—your mom would kill you 3 times over for leaving a girl in the cold like that; “I’m so sorry, dear, but I wouldn’t do such thing without your consent”. “It’s okay, I trust you even in my sleep”, she says before sighing, “what time is this?”. You look at your phone one more time, “um, 12:03—no, 12:04”.
She lifts her torso off your body and pulls you into a sitting position with her still on your lap, “please keep me warm, oppa”. You take her hand and notice that she is indeed cold, so you hug her tighter to keep her warm. “Oppa”, she pokes you in the cheek, “you’re not angry that I suddenly jumped on your body like that, are you? Please don’t be angry, I’m sorry”. “No, I’m not angry at all”, you clarify, “I should be the one apologizing for leaving you in the cold”. She pulls away from the hug and gives you a fleeting kiss, “promise me that you won’t leave me again, ever”. You take her pinky in yours, “I promise, sweetie”.
-
“Oppa, do you not have classes today?”, she says as she puts on her shoes. “I don’t but I’m meeting some of Professor’s Kim students at 5 pm. One of them texted me yesterday asking me to help them with a project”, you walk to the door where she is, “do you want to walk, or do you want me to drive you there?”. “5 pm is still a few hours away so you should just stay here, I’ll walk”, she waves at you, “I’ll see you for tonight’s practice?”. You nod and she walks out of the door right away. You chase her and grab her wrist, “you forgot something”. She turns to you in confusion, “what?”. “This”, you lean forward and kiss her, “you forgot my kiss”. “Oh my God, I hate you so much”, she blushes and starts running away, “I’ll see you later!”.
-
The little meeting with Professor’s Kim students is done, which leaves you one last thing to do tonight: watch Jiyeon’s last practice. “Same place as yesterday, dear”, you send a text to her, and she sends you a thumbs-up emoji as a reply. You continue scrolling through social media until you hear the door swing open. Jiyeon is wearing a black tank top and grey training pants, and you can’t help but drop your jaw; “respectfully, you look so attractive right now”, you comment. She smirks, “that was the plan, glad it works”. Your eyes widen in shock, “pardon?”. “You didn’t hear anything”, she says, “let’s practice, shall we?”. She hands you her phone and tells you to play whatever song because “being predictable is boring” (her words, not yours) so you do as she asks and pick a random song.
It takes her one second to recognize the song and start her routine. It starts with a clap of hands, which makes you jump in your seat a little due to the suddenness. Her moves, combined with how she’s dressed, show you all the details of her curves, but you’re trying to not have a boner right now. As you keep watching, however, you start getting more emotional than horny—you managed to not cry during the previous sessions but it’s very hard not to today for some reason. You lock in and pay attention with every cell of your brain, until you see her make a specific move with her hand and tears instantly drop onto your cheeks like the first time you watched her—unlike last time, however, you’re not shy to cry in front of her. You decide to savor the emotions and cry your heart out until you have no tears left. “My God, I’m such a loser”, you say to yourself.
You’re too busy crying that you don’t notice that the song has ended. “Crying again, oppa?”, she approaches you to check on you. “Ye-yeah, sorry”, you wipe your tears so that you can see her clearly. She pulls you to your feet and hugs you, “I was starting to think that you didn’t like me enough to cry”, she says. You take a deep breath to compose yourself, “you’re out of your mind; there’s no way I can stop liking you”. You feel her pat your back to help you calm yourself, “I like you too, oppa”.
The tears finally stop flowing after a few seconds, so you ask her to let go of the hug. You sit your ass back down while she walks to her stuff. “Here, oppa: your VVIP ticket”, she hands you a ticket with your name and seat number on it, “don’t lose this, please. I’ll never talk to you again if you do”. You sniffle before talking back, “thank you, sweetie. I’ll make sure I arrive early”. She walks away from you and tells you to play another song, so you close your eyes and pick randomly again. “Aaaaah, that’s the same song, oppa. Play a different one without closing your eyes this time”, she says with a pout. “Oh, sorry”, you scroll quickly to the bottom of the playlist and choose whatever. “There we go; now watch me”, she says as she starts another routine.
-
Jiyeon immediately collapses on the floor after that last routine. Sensing that something is wrong, you run to her and see that her eyes are closed but her mouth is open. “Baby, baby? Are you okay? Say something, love—holy shit, what is happening right now?”, pet names fly out of your lips as you panic. You carry her in your arms and run out of the classroom to find help. As you do, you hear her mumble something weakly; “oppa, oppa”. You start running faster after hearing a sign of life from Jiyeon; “hold on, baby; I’m getting some help for you”. You then hear a giggle from her, “oppa, I’m okay. I was just messing with you”. You drop to your knees right away, “oh my fucking—that wasn’t funny, you know? I thought you passed out from exhaustion or something”. She frees herself from your arms and pecks you on the cheek, “I mean I was exhausted, but I’m fine. I’m glad that you were quick to take action, who knows when I might need that”. You get on your feet and pull her up after, “you’re lucky I exercise often, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to carry you and run that fast at the same time like that”. She giggles, “yeah I had a sneak peek at how fit you are thanks to that jersey you wore at the supermarket—very attractive, I must say”.
“Fuck, that was scary—so what now?”, you ask her with heavy pants. “Let’s get our stuff and get out of here. I want to go home and get as much rest as I can”, she says. “Sure, I’ll wait for you in the car”, you walk in the other direction to get to the parking lot.
You get a bottle of water from the trunk and finish it right away to cope with the exhaustion and panic caused by Jiyeon’s little act. “That’s the fastest I’ve seen someone drink out of a bottle”, Jiyeon remarks as she approaches you, “I’m sorry, oppa. I didn’t mean to make you panic like that”. You wave her off, “it’s okay, sweetie. I’m glad that you’re okay because I would’ve lost my shit otherwise. Let’s get you home now, alright?”. You get in the car followed by Jiyeon and start driving to take her home.
-
“Oppa, we probably won’t see each other until after the competition is finished”, she says when you two are standing outside her building. You pet her head, “it’s okay, sweetie. You know where I sit so look at me if you can, okay?”. She gets on her tippy toes, and the height difference makes you laugh. “Aaaaaah, kiss me alreadyyyyyy”, she complains cutely. You grab her chin and pull her closer to you before kissing her passionately. “I love you, baby. See you on Saturday, okay?”. She seems to be satisfied with the kiss, as seen by how she’s blushing, “I love you too, oppa. See you on Saturday”.
-
Saturday has finally come and there’s only one thing in your mind right now: watch Jiyeon perform at the competition. You grab your phone as soon as you wake up and text her right away.
[You | 08:03]
Good luck, baby
I’m rooting for you
If it wasn’t obvious already
<3
She replies to your messages as soon as you send them.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 08:03]
I’m nervous, oppa
Pray for your baby girl
Love you too
You smack your forehead at the realization that you forgot to say “I love you” but you know—or hope, rather—that she knows that already. You jump off the bed and get ready to get a shower, and that’s when you hear another notification.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 08:03]
You owe me dinner btw
[You | 08:03]
I know
I hope you like mac and cheese
-
You have about 10 hours to kill before you need to leave to watch Jiyeon, so you decide to clean your apartment first. You make sure to that everything is spotless because you plan on inviting Jiyeon over for dinner tonight, and should everything go smoothly, formally confess your love to her, in case it hasn’t been made clear multiple times.
After cleaning everything, you decide to hop on your laptop and catch up with the outside world. Email from Professor Kim about your payment as TA; answered, email from a sophomore apologizing for missing your class; answered, email from Professor Min thanking you for helping her students; answered. You scroll through your inbox and see that none is left unanswered, so you decide to play some video games—you want to rank up on TFT but haven’t got the time to play that much recently.
You eventually got sick of playing after 3 games, so you decide to get some nap since you have plenty of time left in the day. In your sleep, you’re shown a dream where Jiyeon is running to you with a trophy in hand before jumping into your arms for a hug. “Oppa, we did it! We won!”, she says, and you can’t help but bawl your eyes out—such pleasant dream, isn’t it? You hope that it’s a good sign for what’s coming today.
-
You arrive at the venue at 18:06 and head straight in. A staff greets you at the entrance of the hall and asks you to show him your ticket. You do as he asks and he then escorts you to your seat—“must be VVIP treatment”, you think as you’re led to your seat. You take a seat that he points at and pull out your phone; less than an hour left until the show starts, your phone tells you. Your phone also tells you that you have some incoming texts from Jiyeon.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:10]
I see a pretty boy in a suit sitting in the front row
He’s soooo cuteeeee
Very tall too, my God
No one else has arrived yet so you know that she’s referring to you, but you can’t see her anywhere so you give up trying to spot her instantly. You smile at your phone while reading her texts and she follows up with some more.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:10]
Look at him, he’s smiling!!!!
Omg I love him so damn much <3 <3 <3
His bae is a lucky girl for sure
You cover your mouth with a hand to muffle an excited squeal. You finally manage to form some replies of your own after calming yourself down.
[You | 18:11]
I can’t with you
You’re driving me insane
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 18:11]
Oh, it’s you!!!!
Thank you for coming!!!! <3
You shake your head and shove your phone back in your pocket because one more exchange will surely send your heart to overdrive. You need to lock in soon so that you can wholeheartedly and wholebrainedly—that’s not a word, is it—pay attention to her performance later.
-
15 minutes before the performances start and the venue is now packed with people. You hear from the MC that Jiyeon will be the last one performing; “favorites go last all the time”, you say to yourself. Before you forget, you pull out a handkerchief from your suit jacket and set it on your lap because it’s guaranteed that you’re going to weep while watching her.
One by one contestant performs and now it’s Jiyeon’s turn to take the stage and make everyone weep (yes, you are that confident of her skills). Your jaw drops the instant she walks out; she’s wearing a white tutu and matching pointe shoes—a literal embodiment of a swan. She makes eye contact with you for a second before turning her gaze to the rest of the crowd, and that’s when the cheering erupts; “oh, she’s famous, huh?”, you hear your brain say. She then moves to the side and waits until the song starts; “I’m so fucking cooked”, you think to yourself.
The truth cannot be any further right now, as you feel tears gather in your eyes as soon as she starts her routine. She’s barely making expressions, but you really feel the emotions that she’s conveying through every small movement. As you keep paying attention, you’re promptly reminded of how hard she’s worked for these sorts of moments, not only in the past few weeks, but also in her entire life. Combine that with the way she’s moving on stage, you can’t help but open the dam and let the tears flow. She’s not making eye contact with you because she wants to stay concentrated, and that’s helpful for you because you’re not presentable at all right now.
You wish you weren’t such a crybaby because you otherwise would be able to enjoy her performance, but you’re also glad that you’re able to feel these emotions and savor every second of it. You wipe your eyes with your handkerchief before looking back at her and murmuring to yourself, “I’m so proud of you, my little swan. Thank you for being in my life and thank you for showing me such gracefulness that very few can see with their own eyes”. You ball up your fists to cheer for her, but your brain manages to bridle your body in time before you can start shouting, thus saving you from embarrassment; “this ain’t basketball, you fucking idiot”, it yells at you.
Her performance ends with her getting on her knees while bending back, and the crowd instantly erupts behind you. You feel a surge of emotions in your heart, and you decide to let all the tears go into the handkerchief; “what is this feeling and who am I to be so lucky?”, you say. You feel the elderly man next to you put a hand on your shoulder and pat you on the back, “I wondered the same thing when I was your age, son, and I still don’t have an answer to this day”. You sniffle before saying anything back, “I can’t describe what I’m feeling right now, sir”. He pulls you to him and makes you rest your head on his shoulder, “There’s no need for that, son. Just enjoy it as much as you can, for we are a lucky bunch”. You’ve never heard such wisdom from someone before, so you ask him who he is. “I’m no one important, boy—definitely not as important as that girl on stage to you”, he says. “I love her, sir”, you reveal to him. He rubs you on the back with his palm several times as he laughs, “I know, son. I know”.
You look up and see that Jiyeon is looking back at you, so you do your best to give her the sincerest smile you’ve ever shown to anyone; “I’m so proud of you”, you mouth to her. She returns your smile twice as splendidly before heading backstage. The MC comes back out and announces that we’ll be taking a 10-minute break before announcing the winners, so you take this opportunity to leave your seat and head to the bathroom to freshen up after weeping your heart out.
You were a bit late to return and see that all the contestants are now standing next to each other on stage, so you rush to your seat and tune back in. “We will now be announcing the 3rd place, 2nd place, and the 1st place winners”, the MC says. You close your eyes and pray to whatever sacred being that might be listening to you right now. “Coming in the third place”, she pauses, “Miss Noh Yunah!”. You sigh in relief, “oh God, okay, top 2, baby. Let’s go”. The MC suggests an idea to announce the 2nd and 1st place; “would the attendants prefer to hear the 1st place winner before the 2nd?”, she says, and the crowd seems to agree with that idea.
“Right, so here’s what we’re going to do, Miss Ji Seoyeon and Miss Choi Jihyun: I’m going to say the name of the first-place winner and whoever doesn’t hear her name is the second-place winner”, she explains, and the two girls nod in acknowledgment. “The winner of the competition is”, she fucking pauses again, “Miss”—for the love of God, do it already—“Ji Seoyeon!”. You open your eyes and see that Jiyeon has dropped onto her knees while crying, and you have no choice but to cry again with her. “Congratulations, son”, the elderly man says as he shakes your hand, “treat the miss to dinner after this, okay?”. Your brain can’t come up with words to say, so you just nod while shaking his hand emotionally.
-
The contestants went backstage a few minutes ago, and some people in the crowd are now talking among themselves while some others opt to leave. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, so you pull it out and see that Jiyeon has sent you some texts.
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 20:24]
Oppa
I’m glad I could win it for you
Can I come over after this?
Pretty please?
[Ji Seoyeon❤️| 20:24]
Congratulations, love
I’m glad I got to watch you perform
You slayed btw
I’ll wait for you in the car, bby
You turn to the man next to you and bid your farewell, “thank you so much for tonight, sir. I will be taking my leave now”. “Thank you to you as well, son. May I offer you some advice?”, he says, and you nod in response, “try not to obscure your feelings; embrace them, savor them, share them with those you love. Believe me when I say that you won’t regret it—emotions are the colors of life, you see”. In your heart, you envy and yearn for such wisdom, but you realize that it takes a lifetime to be that wise. “Thank you, sir. I will keep that in mind. Have a good night”.
You stand up from your seat and start making your way to the parking lot after talking to the man. When you get to the parking lot, you see that Jiyeon is already waiting for you. She drops her stuff on the ground and hugs you; “oppa, I love you. I love you so fucking much, oppa”, she confesses in case it wasn’t clear already. You take the man’s advice to heart and embrace the emotions you’re feeling right now, “I love you so much as well, baby. I’m so proud of you”. She presser her head against your chest and conveys her request, “take me to your place, oppa. I want to spend the night in your embrace. Let’s leave now, oppa—please, I’m begging you”. You peck her forehead and pull away from the hug, “alright, sweetie. Let’s go now”.
-
You enter your apartment with Jiyeon and swap your shoes for the indoor sandals. She pulls your hand, forcing you to turn to her direction before kissing you. Jiyeon goes further and fight your tongue with hers. You find her passion to be overwhelming, so you break the kiss to take a breather. “Oppa, why did you pull away? You didn’t like it?”, she asks. “I did like it, but I first need to know how far we’re going tonight”, you tell her. You can’t tell what the smile on her face means when she says that you two are going all the way.
“Can I take you to the bedroom?”, you ask her, and she nods to your question. You carry her bridal style like that time she “passed out” after practice. You set her down on the bed and that’s when she makes another confession; “this is my first time, oppa”, she tells you. “Are you sure that you want to give your first to me?”, you ask her. “Only if you promise to never leave me again”, she says. You tell her your promise and start kissing her lustfully, as it’s now your tongue that’s fighting hers. She takes your hand and guides it to her crotch; thus, you feel her wetness through her jogger pants. You pull away from the kiss once more and ask her, “on a scale of 1 to 10, how ready do you think you are?”. “24”, she says, “now please take care of me”. You’re not sure why she picks such particular number, but you roll with it anyway.
You grab the waistband of her pants and pull down after getting her consent, and you’re met with her bare pussy. “No panties, hm? No wonder I could feel how wet you were through your pants”, you ask her. She shrugs, “I figured it would be faster this way, and it is. Continue, please”. You then move your hands to the hem of her white sleeveless T-shirt and roll it over her head, exposing her covered tits to the bedroom air. “It would be even faster if you weren’t wearing bras as well”, you tease her. She pouts cutely, “and what if someone saw? Do you really want your girl to run around while being exposed like that?”.
You pull her into a hug and unclasp her bras before letting go, and you’re shown her perfectly perky bare tits. “They’re yours, oppa”, she says as she guides your hands to her tits. You start fondling her tits in your hands and it causes her to start moaning softly. Seeing that she’s enjoying it, you latch your mouth onto one of them and start sucking without letting up the stimulation on the other one. “Oppa, you like them—AHHHH, OPPA”, she screams when you not-so-lightly tug her nipple. “Can’t let the other one go forgotten”, you say as you move your mouth to the other breast. She holds the back of your head with both hands and press your head against her tits; “that’s-that’s—ahh, ngh”, her words are cut short by a moan.
She finally pushes your head away from her tits after letting you play with them for a few minutes. “You-you’re not fair, oppa”, she says, panting, “why aren’t you naked like me?”. You look down on yourself and see that you still have all your clothes on. “Apologies, my love. I got carried away”, you get off the bed and take your sweet time to take one item off at a time, unveiling your muscular body little by little for the girl in your bed. You’re finally done taking everything off but the boxers, “would you like to do the honors, princess?”, you ask Jiyeon. “Uh, umm, I-I think you should take them off yourself”, the antsy girl says before biting her lips. You do as she says and take off your boxers in one smooth motion, and Jiyeon immediately turns her gaze to look at the big, erect parcel between your legs. She looks away to get your cock out of her sight and asks you to make another promise, “pro-promise me you won’t hurt me, oppa”. You rub the back of her hand to soothe her, “I promise, love. We will do this on your pace, okay? Make yourself comfortable, please”.
She lies flat on her back and opens her arms, “come here, oppa”. You enter her warm embrace and pepper her face with pecks. “Aaaaah, oppa, stoooop”, she tries to halt your barrage of pecks. You hover your face above hers and offer her some sweet words, “I love you, baby. My baby. My white swan”. She blushes as she puts her hands on your cheeks, “I love you too, oppa. I love you with my life”. “Baby, I want to tell you something”, you make a confession of your own, “I have never done this before—I didn’t speak accordingly because I wanted to help you not be nervous. I apologize for pretending and I also apologize should my naïveté shows”. “Awww”, she coos, “we’re each other’s first, aren’t we? That makes this even more special, oppa”.
Since the confessions are now out of the way, you dive into another kiss—a kiss so heavenly and heartfelt to tell Jiyeon how much you love her. She smiles warmly after pulling away and breaking the kiss, “I love you, oppa, and I know you love me too. Now please take care of me”. You move a strand of hair from her face, “I’m so sorry but I don’t have a condom, love; I’m a virgin just like you”. She runs her thumb back and forth on your cheek, “We won’t need that;you’re my only one, oppa—my first and my last. Just promise me that you’ll be gentle; make me yours and I’ll stay by your side until the end of time”. You feel a stray tear on your cheek and wipe it right away, “I’m sorry, cutie. Your words are just so sweet—you are so sweet”. She smiles gently hearing your words, “we’re about to find out what having sex with the person you truly love is like, oppa. I’m excited but also nervous to give you my first”.
You peck her forehead before straightening your back to get ready for the action. “Do you consent, precious?”, you ask as you line up your cock with her untouched entrance. “I do” is response, nice and concise. You start moving forward into her pussy, and as soon as your cock is 1/3 of the way in, Jiyeon screams from the top of her lungs. “Oppa, oppa—ngh, fu—hold me, please—hug me, oppa”, she says to you with troubled breathing. You lay on top of Jiyeon and hug her tightly, “I’m here, baby; I’m here for you. I’ll stop moving so let’s relax a bit, okay?”.
After taking a few seconds to catch her breath, she signals to you to start moving again. You move your pelvis forward until you feel the entirety of your cock lodged in her pussy, as you take her virginity and give her yours in return. “Ngh, ngh—op-oppa, you’re so big—oh my God, you’re tearing me in half”, she says. You peck her temple as you start pumping her, “you’re so tight, baby; you’re literally squeezing me”. She yelps when your cock hits her deepest end, “I th-ink that’s my cervix, oppa—ahh, fuck—how are you so fucking deep, oppa?”. You’d be lying if you said her words didn’t inflate your ego, but you just want to keep fucking her right now and this position doesn’t really allow that. Jiyeon panics when you try to pull away from the hug; “no, no, no—oh, mmh—keep me in your arms, oppa. I’m begging you—fuck—plea-please”, she says.
You latch your mouth onto her neck and start sucking and nibbling as you maintain the pace and depth of your thrusts, earning moans from Jiyeon that sound like a melody from the heavens. “Op-pa—aah, hng—some-something is coming. I-I can feel it”, she says after taking a lot (like, a lot) of pumps from you. You unlatch your mouth for a second so that you can answer her; “yes, baby. I feel it too, I think”.
“AH, OPPA, I’M-I’M GOING TO EXPLODE!”, she shrieks with all her might as her pussy puts you in such a chokehold (or cockhold, rather) that it’s almost painful to you. You remove your mouth from her neck and see that Jiyeon’s entire body is shaking and trembling as she keeps screaming her lungs out. She finally stops screaming after her high has subsided; “hah, hah—wha-what was that? I-I felt like I was on cloud nine and then I’m back in your arms”, she says, her breaths mixed with pants. You chuckle at her description of what just happened, “is it better to be on cloud nine or in my arms?”. She pulls you down for a kiss before giving you an answer, “I like being in my boyfriend’s arm much, much better”. “Boyfriend, hm?”, you smile at her, “I love the way you say that; it makes me feel loved, you know”. “That is because I truly love you, oppa, and nothing can sway me from loving you”, she says.
“Jiyeon, my baby”, you say to her, “I’m sorry, but can we continue? I think I’m pretty close as well”. “We can, oppa, but first”, she holds your head and looks at you in the eyes, “I want you to start calling me Seoyeon from now on; it’s not like you’ll mistake me for Yoon Seoyeon-sunbaenim, is it?”. “No, there’s no way I’ll ever mistake you for Yoon Seoyeon. My heart is yours, not Yoon Seoyeon’s”, you say before resuming your rhythmic thrusting. Jiyeon—or Seoyeon, rather—starts moaning again and it serves as fuel for you to keep going and chase your own orgasm.
“Seoyeon, my swan—fuck, so tight—do you want me to pull out when I cum?”, you ask her. “If you pull out, I will cut your penis off and feed it to a cat”, Seoyeon threatens you. “Oh, fuck, please don’t. We wouldn’t be able to do this again if you did”, you say, intimidated by her words. “Good, now don’t—OH MY GOD, THAT IS SO FUCKING HOT”, her words are cut off by your cock’s abrupt explosion and the sudden flood of semen in her pussy. “My God, I just came in her pussy”, you think to yourself as you pant from the high that your orgasm is giving you. “Oppa-oppa, was that—whoa, fuck—was that your orgasm?”, Seoyeon wonders. In your exhausted and high state, you just nod to her question; “you gave me your first ever orgasm, oppa? You’ve never watched porn and had an orgasm before, have you? Please say no”, Seoyeon says. You shake your head, “I have—hah, fuck—I have never watched porn ever in my life. What the fuck kind of question is that? Sure-surely you don’t think that low of me—oh my goodness, I’m tired”. “Sorry, please don’t be mad”, she rubs your cheek, “it was a genuine question, oppa. I’m-I’m glad that you’ve never watched porn—”. You cut her off by placing a finger on her lips, “please, let’s not talk about that right now”.
You pull away from her embrace and straighten your back to look at your work; “wait, there’s supposed to be blood, isn’t there?”, you ask yourself as you look at your cock and her leaking pussy. “Oppa, I know what you’re thinking”, Seoyeon says with a tiny voice, “you must be wondering about the lack of blood considering that it’s my first time”. You turn your gaze to her without saying anything, which makes Seoyeon nervous; “I-I can explain, oppa, but I need you to trust me because I am not lying at all”, she says. You take a moment to calm your pants before talking back, “of course, darling. Fire away”. “Where do I start—ah, fuck it, I’ll just tell you the end bit”, she says, “I lost my hymen in an accident, oppa. Please, please believe me when I say that you’re my first, because you really are”.
You stay quiet and take a second to process the news that she just delivered, and that’s when she starts shedding tears. “You-you don’t believe me, do you? You’re disappointed because it’s your first, aren’t you? It-It’s okay if you don’t believe me and want to leave me, oppa; heaven knows I’m being honest”, she says as tears are freely flowing out of her eyes. The instant surge of guilt in your heart leads you to jump and take her into your arms again. “I believe you, my love—I really do. I just wanted some time to process your words; I’m sorry for not saying anything right away”, you say right to her ear. Her crying makes it hard for her to speak but she pushes through anyway, “please, please don’t leave me, oppa. I-I don’t know what I would do with-out you. Please, oppa, I’m begging you to stay with me”. You hug her tighter and give her your promise, “I will not leave you, baby; not now, not tomorrow, not next week, never. I need you as much as you need me, precious. Trust me, please. Let’s calm down, okay? I’m here for you, honey”.
-
It took a while for Seoyeon to finally calm down and stop crying. It was really painful for you to see Seoyeon cry from such a close distance, but it didn’t stop you from giving her the assurance and comfort that she needed. “Baby”, you call out to Seoyeon after noticing that her sobs have died down, “feeling better?”. She hums in response, “feeling hungry, too—wait, you promised me you’d make mac and cheese for me. Can we have mac and cheese now, oppa? Pleaaaaaase?”. “There she is, back to who she really is”, you say in your head. “We can, baby. Let’s get dressed first and then I’ll make some for us, okay?”, you pull her off the bed and onto her feet before heading to the wardrobe to get some clothes. You hand Seoyeon an old set of jersey and shorts as you’re reminded of her underwear situation, “I know you didn’t wear panties earlier but surely you brought them with you, right?”. Seoyeon chuckles in response, “of course I did, oppa; it’s in my bag. I’m not that naughty, you know?”. “Right”, you scratch the back of your head in awkwardness, “I’ll, uh, start cooking now”.
You head to the fridge and take all the ingredients necessary: milk, cheese, sausage, and broc—wait, not broccoli; mac and cheese isn’t supposed to be healthy. You take the scale out of the cupboard and weigh 100 grams of macaroni (taken from the cupboard as well), 50 grams of grated cheddar, and 50 grams of cubed mozzarella. You hear Seoyeon’s sandals approaching, so you call out to her, “baby, there’s zero-sugar soda in the fridge for you”. “I’ll save that for later, oppa. I’ll just get some water right now”, she says as she walks to the dispenser and refills her bottle. “Can I help with anything?”, she asks after taking a gulp of water. You point to the milk and ask her to pour out exactly 250 ml into a measuring cup. As Seoyeon does that, you pour some water into a pot and wait for it to boil.
“Love, go have a seat. I’ll take care of this”, you tell Seoyeon who’s still hovering near the stove area. “Promise me you won’t burn this place down”, she jumps and pecks you on the cheek before sitting at the table. “You’re making me make a lot of promises today, love”, you tease her. “Aaaaaah, but they’re for our own good, oppaaaaa”, she whines and crosses her arms, “I hate you so much, hmph”. Seeing that you’re not responding to her stunt, Seoyeon walks up to you from behind and tickles you. “Baby, I’m cooking—ahahaha, okay, okay; you win, I’m sorry. Now please get back to your seat”. Seoyeon does as you ask and sits down at the table again.
The water is now boiling, so you throw the macaroni into it and start a timer on your phone for 8 minutes. Since you have some time to kill, you decide to kiss Seoyeon and do more skinship with her and talk about some stuff until the timer runs out. Before you know it (because you’re so absorbed in the moment), you hear your phone ring, and you rush to turn the timer off and drain the macaroni.
You throw a tablespoon of butter into the pot and let it melt before adding in a tablespoon of flour. You then quickly but gradually add milk into the mix before it sticks to the pot. You turn your gaze to the counter and notice that the cheese is missing. “Seoyeon, darling, do you know where the cheese is?”, you ask your swan. “Oh, I brought it with me to the table, sorry. Here, oppa”, she hands you the two cups of cheese and you throw them into the pot and stir rapidly until it’s nice and smooth. “Here go the mac and sausage”, you announce to yourself, earning a chuckle from Seoyeon. Once everything is mixed together, you turn off the stove and mix in a tablespoon of salt, pepper, smoked paprika, and chili powder. You then take two bowls and split the mac and cheese into two as equally as you can and bring it to the table.
“This looks good, oppa”, Seoyeon says as she takes a spoonful of mac and cheese and shoves it into her mouth, “oooh, very nice. Not as salty as when I made it myself that one time”. You follow her and put a spoonful into your mouth. The taste makes you let out a satisfied moan, and it triggers a comment from Seoyeon, “we’re eating, oppa, not having sex—do you want to have sex again, by any chance?”. As tempting as it sounds, you choose to ignore her comment for now, “this is nice, no? I love it”. You miss a glare that Seoyeon sends you because you’re too busy eating, but that’s a problem for later.
-
“Thank you for the meal, oppa. Can I borrow a toothbrush now?”, Seoyeon says. You tell her that you keep spare toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet and that she can get one from there. She heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth while you wash the dishes.
As soon as you’re done, you hear Seoyeon call out to you from the bathroom, so you knock on the door, and she opens it for you. “What is it, baby?”, you ask her. She says nothing and shoves you backwards until you’re seated on the toilet. “Really, oppa? I offered you to do round 2 and you just ignored me? Is that how we will do things from now on, oppa?”, Seoyeon interrogates you and you can’t help but feel like a criminal. A short “I’m sorry” is all you can come up with, and Seoyeon is visibly not satisfied with your apology. “Take off your shorts and boxers, now”, she says. You never thought a girl so cute could be so intimidating, but here you are. You do as she commands and take them off, revealing your cock to her for the second time tonight.
“Please don’t ignore me like that again, oppa; it makes me sad, you know”, she says as she gets on her knees and holds your cock in one hand. “Can you get hard again, please? I want to make you orgasm again”, she strokes your cock with both hands to compensate with the girth. “Baby, what are you planning to do?”, you say with a sigh at the end. “This”, she says as she takes you in her mouth, her jaws are as wide open as they can be. You thought that this sight couldn’t get better until Seoyeon looks at you in the eyes as your cock is in her mouth. “Seoyeon-ah, you’re so good”, you forgot to say the pet name so she bites your cock slightly to express her dissatisfaction. “Oh, fuck, fuck. I’m so sorry, love. Please don’t kill me”, you say.
She gives you a wink and starts bobbing her head up and down your shaft, making you throw your head back and moan in bliss. She gets impatient as she goes down too deep and chokes on your cock. The little accident doesn’t seem to deter her, though, as she keeps going up and down a little bit more carefully this time. “You’re doing so good, dear—my fucking God, that’s so nice”, you praise her efforts, and she gives you a thumbs-up in return.
“Can I ask you to go faster, baby?”, you ask Seoyeon, whose mouth is full of your cock. She gives you a subtle nod and starts moving faster and gagging occasionally. You hold the back of her head when she tries to pull away and start fucking her mouth—not too hard, though. You don’t want to take things too far just yet. “God, baby; your mouth feels so good—oh, I’m getting so close again”, you tell her. You feel her repeatedly tap your thighs, so you pull out of her mouth in response. “Are you okay, sweetie?”, you ask the panting girl as you pet her head. “That was too much, oppa. Let me do it at my own pace, please”, Seoyeon says as she wipes her mouth.
You agree to let her do as she pleases and sit back. Seoyeon pecks the tip for your cock—which sensation makes you gasp in surprise—and goes down on your cock again. You lean back against the backrest of the toilet and close your eyes to fully savor the sensation that her mouth is giving you. You can tell that she’s focused and determined to make you cum for the second time tonight, and you don’t miss your chance to praise her efforts. “Love, you’re so good; such a good girl, aren’t you?”, you stroke her head before letting out a groan.
“Oh, God—baby, I think I’m gonna blow again”, you warn her. At your warning, she removes you from her mouth and strokes your cock. “Give it to me again, oppa”, she says to you. You moan loudly as the second load of the night jets out of the tip of your cock. Seoyeon collects as much of it as she can with her hands; “how do you still have so much, oppa? How much do you have in there?”, she says, fascination and curiosity woven in her voice. “I think that’s all I have today”, you tell her, “thank you so much, baby. I really enjoyed that”. She dips a finger in the pool of cum in her hands and puts it in her mouth, “it tastes weird. I’m not putting this in my mouth, sorry”. You weakly point to the sink, “you don’t need to; go wash your hands, honey”.
-
You carry Seoyeon back to bed after the little bonus session in the bathroom. She’s now lying limb on top of you like that afternoon when she jumped on you. “Oppa”, she begins, “I love you. Don’t leave me ever, please”. You weave your pinky with hers and say your pledge, “I will never leave you, my beautiful swan. I love you”. “Oh, yeah, about that”, Seoyeon lifts her head off your chest, “why swan, oppa?”. You hold her chin in your hand, “the way you were moving so gracefully and elegantly, combined with how you were dressed, made me think of a white swan that’s pacing peacefully around a calm lake”. Seoyeon rests her head on your chest again, “I like that idea, oppa. Thank you”. You shake your head in disagreement, “no, love; thank you. Thank you for letting me enter your life and love you like this—I’m so grateful for us, baby”. You feel a tear drop from her cheeks and onto your T-shirt, “I’m so grateful for us as well, oppa. My world is bleak without you next to me”.
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loverboy(s) (sun wukong + macaque x reader
content warnings: reader is IMPLIED female, second pov (you/your), foul language, minor threats, mini headcanon for macaque
author notes: to that one anon, happy birthday! i apologize for taking forever but i hope you liked this! its a bit funny seeing a few people who share the same birth month as myself (my fave lesbian genshin impact writer also shares the same birth month with me YAYY). i hope you had a wonderful day today, nonnie <3
“I told you. The cake goes on that side, fucking dumbass.”
“Who the FUCK are you calling dumbass? No, no no, come here. Come here and face me, you snarky little bitch. Come over here right now and tell me to my face I'm a dumbass. You wanna lose your other eye, huh? You want me to beat the shit out of you, is that it!?”
You mentally sigh as the monkey turns away, obviously not in the mood to actually pick a fight. Of course, it could also be because MK had begged the two monkeys to just get along if only for today, just for your sake, which, you won't lie, you did appreciate the sentiment but …
Holy fuck they hated each other's guts.
You won't deny being surprised that they had bothered to show up. MK had insisted you hold a party for your special day, and well. You can't exactly say no to the most stubborn person you'll ever meet. You'd think the party would be small and mainly of the Monkie Kid crew, but god no.
That noodle boy invited everyone he knew.
And I mean, everyone. Even the little Bai He was here, playing with Mo.
And of course, the Great Sage Equal To Heaven and the amazing Six Eared Macaque too.
You almost contemplated making a run for it when Macaque approached you, but Pigsy gave you such a scolding to not break MK's fragile heart (pft), and so, you were trapped in a social conversation.
(Oh, the horrors.)
“Nice party you have here.”
“Thanks.”
…
Yeah, I forgot to mention; you two suck at making a good conversation. Well, not so much you than Macaque mainly, who tried, you know, he really does, but inevitably just sucks.
But that's fine. Macaque's quiet most of the time and it's a little comforting. You don't like speaking much anyway, so it works out for the both of you. A bit.
You can't say the same for Wukong though. He's…well. He's certainly very outgoing. The minute he shows up he goes straight for the food (Pigsy is not gonna be happy about that), and then he finds his way to you as well.
“Hey there birthday girl.” Wukong gently pinches your cheek. He smiles warmly, and you can't help but return his smile with your own. “Nice party you've got going on. How come you didn't invite me yourself, mmh? Too shy to meet the awesome Great Sage?”
Before you can reply, Macaque scoffs, “MK invited most of us, don't be an ass.”
Wukong sighs. He glances at his ‘friend’ for a minute, and glances back at you.
“I can't believe MK invited him.”
“I'm allowed to be where I want, thanks.”
“Uh huh. I call dibs on the cake, by the way.”
“It's not your cake you fucking dick.”
“Blah blah, me and (Name) can't hear you.” Wukong turns with you in his arms, guiding you in the opposite direction of where Macaque broods. You wave at Macaque before allowing Wukong to take you…god alone knows where, and he pats your head affectionately. “Sorry about that. Still, happy birthday (Name)! I got you something!”
He releases his hold on you, and you give him a look.
“Is it made out of hair?” You demand, watching as he pouts and looks offended.
“Hey! Not everything I have is made from hair!” He protests, but you can definitely see the way his eyes dart away―he most definitely did, in fact, contemplate giving you a gift made of hair. You loved the guy but….you really had to question how his head works sometimes.
Well. At least you don't have to worry about hair strands all over your room…
“Is it a peach?”
Wukong groans. “(Name), could you have a little faith in me?”
You look him dead in the eye, and answer gently, “Absolutely not.”
“Rude. But fair. And no, it's not a peach. Those are my specialties.”
A pause.
“And I also ate them on my way here.”
You sigh and move to call Pigsy, but Wukong latches onto your wrist and falls flat on his face.
“I haven't even finished!”
“I'm scared what you even bothered to get me.”
Wukong whines, “It's a cool gift, I promise!”
“Wukong, I am not taking Nezha's fucking brick!”
“I wasn't gonna give you that! Nezha took it back anyway!”
Now you understand why everyone wants to wring his neck every time he appears. Even you, who still admires the Monkey King, contemplated wringing his neck like a chicken.
Wukong holds you still and digs through his pockets for something. You cross your arms, waiting, and when he finally grabs the object he's been searching for, he holds it in the air like it's the greatest treasure he's ever found.
He places it in your hands, and you blink.
“A rock.”
Wukong coughs behind his palm. He seems embarrassed by the obvious remark, and you notice a light flush on his expression, a deep red. He looks away before standing, finally, and turns the rock in your hand.
It's about the same size of your palm and oddly shaped as most rocks are, but this rock is different. This rock is painted white, and on the side is a clearly illustrated drawing of a certain Monkey King, hugging a certain figure that bears a strong resemblance to you. The side you had been staring at has a carving, written in Mandarin, ‘My peach and me.’
You flip the rock back and forth, eyes wide. It looks a little silly to be considered a proper gift, but you've already come to realize that Wukong, for all of his confidence, just sucks at expressing himself properly. He has an ego but you know truthfully, he just has no idea on how to act around others and hence why he's always…a little weird.
The rock looks like a silly gift, but you can't help your smile. He could've given you something extravagant as his title, but instead.
He gives you a rock.
“Um. If you don't like it it's fine,” Wukong tries to say, a sheepish smile on his expression. “I mean uh. I'm the Monkey King y'know? I'll get you another gift―”
You cut him off by blurting out, “I love it!”
“Eh?”
You smile at Wukong, squeezing the rock between your hands. He looks back equally amazed, and equally confused.
“I love it,” you repeat, and kiss Wukong's cheek. “Trust me. You're an amazing artist, Monkey King. I hope you don't mind if I keep this in my room, right?”
Wukong blinks like you'd just told him Pigsy loves him (as if.) A smile adorns his expression and he nods, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Ha! Well!” The Monkey King laughs boisterously. “If that's whatcha wanna do, go for it! It's your gift y'know?” He scratches his cheek and looks away. “I just. Figured you'd want something…from the heart. Ehem.”
You smile, “I do. Thank you.”
You're too busy smiling at Wukong to have noticed Macaque had sneaked up on both of you, making Wukong visibly jump in surprise when he speaks. You look at the dark furred simian who barely spares the Monkey King a glance, and instead looks to you with a rare, barely visible smile.
“Since we're giving gifts so soon,” Macaque muses and pulls out something from behind his back.
Unlike Wukong's gift, which is quite frankly the opposite of extravagant, Macaque's is wrapped in a light purple colored paper, and tied with a neat, darker purple bow on top. It's a bit strange to think the Macaque would actually give you a gift, but nonetheless the gesture is sweet, especially when he seems very proud of himself to even wrap your gift unlike the Monkey King.
You accept it with a smile and allow your rock to sit peacefully in your pocket. You try to take care in tearing the paper, but give up when it tears unevenly.
“Oh? A doll?” You blink and look up at Macaque, who is smiling, but a little more nervously this time.
Even Wukong looks impressed, eying the container with a whistle. “Didn't know you got better at making those. It looks realistic.”
Macaque looks surprised at the compliment. You knew they always had bad blood ever since an incident in Wukong's journey, and yet to think Wukong still seemed to remember his old friend's hobby makes even you surprised.
Macaque coughs in his hand, nodding. “Yeah, I practiced a bit,” he admits and looks at you with a sheepish smile. “I hope you like it. Sorry it's not the best.”
A daruma doll sits in your palm, round as a squash with your brows and a smile to imitate your excitement. It wobbles with any movement, and it's really, really cute.
“It's beautiful,” you say, a smile on your expression as it wobbles. “I love it!”
You pause, and look at Wukong. “Not anymore than I love yours, Wukong. It's not a competition.”
Wukong grins, “But if it was, I'd win, right?”
Macaque rolls his eyes and remarks, snidely, “You painted a rock. Not sure how you'd win with that, dumbass.”
“It's better than yours at least. Suck my dick.”
“You should suck mines cause mine is bigger.”
“Shut up you gay ass!”
“Says the walking fruit―”
They bicker, as they usually do, but you don't stop them. Not when you're admiring your gifts, both made with you in mind, with care and consideration.
A smile adorns your lips later that night, the daruma doll and painted rock sitting on your bedside table.
“Mine's better.”
“Dude shut the FUCK up!”
@lotusarchon , 29.05.2024, all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated!
#𓍯𓂃usagii's penpals🎐#female reader#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk#lego monkie kid x reader#monkie kid x reader#lmk x reader#lego monkie kid x y/n#monkie kid x y/n#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#liuer mihou#macaque lmk#macaque x reader#lmk macaque x reader#sun wukong#lmk sun wukong#lmk sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x reader#monkey king x reader#sun wukong lmk#sun wukong x y/n#lmk macaque x y/n#lmk sun wukong x y/n#lmk monkey king#monkey king x y/n#liu'er mihou#liu'er mihou lmk
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Self-Destruct [Two]
Pairing: James Potter x Fem! Reader, Sirius Black x Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Y/n Holstein tends to self-sabotage when something good happens, such as James Potter who came into her dark and dreary world like a ray of sunshine that she never knew she needed.
CW: Mentions of Blood Prejudice and implications of abuse.
Note: Hi everyone! Any thoughts on the previous chapter? This chapter is a bit short compared to the last one, that being said, hope you enjoy! (2.1k words)
The Wrong Sort
James ultimately decided that you were one of those snobby, posh, and entitled pureblooded kids.
The frown was still etched deep in his face as he saw you being dragged by a boy away from him, all the while shooting a warning glance to his direction.
James absolutely loathes people like you.
Although— he also concluded that you were absolutely breath taking; the good kind. Despite the somewhat permanent emotionless expression on your face, he definitely feels his cheeks heat up thinking of you. He really doesn’t know why.
Maybe he’s getting too worked up because he’s annoyed by your attitude?
Yeah, that’s probably why… It’s the only plausible idea that his eleven year-old mind could wrap around.
“James, darling! Something wrong?” Euphemia calls to her son, catching his attention and ultimately breaking the eye contact between both of you.
He shaked his head, trying to rid of thoughts that were filled with you.
“Nothing mum, a bit pre-occupied is all.”
He was sure you wouldn’t even interact with him again— Hogwarts has tons of students, right? Also, you might be an incoming student of Beauxbautons!
James Fleamont Potter has proven himself wrong when you’re sitting directly across him in one of the compartments of the Hogwarts Express.
He blinked, took off his glasses to rub it with the hem of his shirt then placed it on his face again, blinking multiple times to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. Merlin, were you haunting him? Maybe you are right— he needs to get his glasses adjusted.
Your sigh made it very much clear that you are certainly real and actually in front of him.
Since when did you get here? Why are you and the boy here?
“The other compartments are already full.” You simply told him, as if reading his exact thoughts before pulling out a book and making yourself busy.
He could only blink in response as Sirius looks at him. As if sizing him up. “Erm, may I help you?” He asked, unsure of what to make of Sirius who seemed to take on the role of being your personal protector.
“Sirius Black.” He holds out his hand to shake, James looks down and quickly shakes it back. His charming grin making its way to his face.
“James Potter. Pleasure to meet you.”
“ Potter? House of Potter? I would say the same, but you slammed into my wife a couple weeks earlier.”
James sputtered, eyes nearly bulging out.
Excuse me, what?
Surely Sirius is wrong, right? He can already feel the dismay entering his system and— wait, why would he even be disappointed? He even finds you annoying when you sassed him at Diagon Alley!
“W-wife?” He managed to choke out, eyes darting back and forth between you and Sirius— staring at the both of you incredulously.
You glared, slamming the book as you stared at Sirius before kicking him under the table, eliciting an ‘ow!’ from him. “We are not yet married, Sirius. Please refrain yourself from calling me your wife.”
“But we’re going to be!” He reasoned out childishly, looking like a kicked puppy.
“And we are currently not.” You grumbled, opening your book again and looking at the page you bookmarked before the bespectacled boy turned to you.
“I haven’t caught your name. I’m James Potter, you?”
You felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance. This Potter boy surely loves to yap, huh?
All you want is some peace and to read without any interruptions, but it doesn’t seem like a viable option. “Y/n Holstein. Pureblood?” You shot him a question, an eyebrow raised expectantly.
James furrowed his brows, “Pureblood. What does blood status got to do with this?” You hummed in a somewhat approval tone before closing your book gently and crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at him. Noticing the Potter crest signet ring on his pointer finger, you concluded he is the heir of house Potter.
Hm, wouldn’t hurt to talk to him.
“It tells you everything about what a person is, Potter. Didn’t Lord Fleamont Potter and Lady Euphemia Potter ever tell you that?”
James blinks, surprise evident in his features. “How did you know my parents’ names?”
Sirius wasn’t all that surprised, he knew Walburga ensures that his studies are rigorous—drowning him with the history of their family, sacred twenty-eight, dueling, and the dark arts.
Ludwig Holstein took it up a notch, much more intense than his mother. He started training you and grooming to be the successor of the house and the Winzengamot seat ever since you were merely five years old.
You frowned, seriously? Was he never educated or was he living under a rock?
“It’s common knowledge to know the Lords and Ladies of a noble house, Potter. Tell me, were you off dilly dallying when your tutor taught you that?”
James can feel annoyance brewing in his chest yet again as he opened and closed his mouth, trying to come up with words.
You sighed, mock disappointment adorning your features. "My my, Potter. I suggest you brush up on your lessons before we reach Hogwarts? I think that would be fantastic."
You smiled at him politely before opening your book and ignoring how he stumbles over his words.
"Y/n, what house do you think you'll get sorted in to?"
Sirius asked, trying to mask the nervous edge in his tone with curiosity as you and fellow first year students line up in front waiting for Professor Mcgonagall call the names of each student one at a time to get sorted.
"Why Slytherin, of course." You replied coolly, an air of sureness surrounding you. He looks at you wearily, "What if... What if we don't get sorted in Slytherin?" Sirus voiced out his worries to you. His grey eyes glancing at the sorting hat warily, as if it’ll expose his darkest and deepest secret.
"You should never dream about not being in Slytherin, Sirius. You aren't foolish, you know what can happen." You uttered lowly, casting a glance at the boy beside you. Walburga and Orion will not be pleased with the heir of house Black being sorted into a house that isn't Slytherin. Certainly, Ludwig Holstein also doesn't welcome that idea.
"Y/n Holstein."
The chatting amongst students suddenly stilled, everyone's focus was directed towards you, the Holstein heir. Merlin, even Dumbledore himself was looking at you!
Normally, you are able to handle other people's gazes directed towards you, but as you walk towards the stool where the sorting hat waits for you, you can't help but feel the twinge of self-consciousness nibbing at you.
Holding yourself up with such elegance and grace, you sat down and felt the sorting hat placed on top of your head.
'Oh? What's this? Another Holstein?' The hat mused, you kept a straight face and looked ahead, not bothering to respond to its comments. It would be useless anyway; you already know which house the sorting hat will pick.
'Where shall I put you...? I have been longing to put a Holstein in Ravenclaw.' It hummed, you felt your stomach drop, cracks were forming on your composure the longer the hat doesn't announce your house.
'You'll do great in Ravenclaw, young Holstein.'
Merlin, no! You tried your best not to grit your teeth as you try to relax your shoulders.
'Do not even try to put me in that house, I am a Slytherin, through and through.' You thought, 'It will be a shame to the Holstein name. A stain.' you added, making the hat droop down, disappointed yet again. It seems that the Slytherin traits run deep in Holstein’s bloods.
Sensing the reaction, you were rather quite pleased with yourself knowing you had already won.
"Very well, SLYTHERIN!" The hat roared, not even a second had passed, loud and boisterous cheers were heard from the Slytherin table, quite uncharacteristic for them but who cares? The Holstein heir was in their house, it gave the Slytherin house more prestige and power.
You let a small smirk appear on your face as your fellow housemates welcomed you warmly and with open arms, if you say so yourself, they look like they're ready to kiss your arse.
"Narcissa, thank you." You smiled, reaching the table and nearing the girl as she saved two seats, you assumed one was for you and the other is for Sirius.
"Welcome to Slytherin, Y/n." Andromeda piped up, smiling at you. You returned her action and uttered out a 'thank you'.
"James Fleamont Potter."
Now that spiked your interest, your eyes observed him as he walked towards the stool in front as if he's just strolling through the gardens of their estate. He sat and not even five seconds in, the hat has already decided his house.
"Gryffindor!"
Cheers erupted from the respective table as they welcomed Potter with open arms. You hummed, "As I've guessed."
Narcissa turns to look at you with an eyebrow raised, "You know him?"
"Barely, he bumped into me in Diagon alley, and he shared a compartment with me and Sirius earlier." You replied, turning your attention yet again in front as Sirius' name was called.
"Sirius Orion Black."
Similarly to you, the chatter stilled and hushed whispers were heard all over the great hall. You noticed how Sirius' shoulder visibly tensed as he sat in the stool while waiting for the hat to announce Slytherin.
You placed some of his preferred dishes on the plate beside you, marking it as a seat saved for him. Narcissa and Andromeda noticed this which made them giggle. Ah, young love.
You raised a questioning brow to them, but they didn't bother to respond, just motioned you to pay attention to the sorting ceremony. You'll be sure to tell Sirius about his older cousin's antics as soon as he joins you in the Slytherin table.
Except he didn't.
He wasn’t placed in Slytherin like everyone expected.
"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat thundered; the raggedy thing looked proud— almost smug as it announced Sirius' house. You felt time stilled, your eyes and Sirius' grey ones connected for a split second. His eyes screamed at you.
Terrified.
Absolutely terrified.
Surely this must be a mistake?
The cheers beside your table fell to your deaf ears as your attention was solely focused on Sirius. You didn’t notice how the Black sisters wearily exchanged a glance as their eyes darted to their younger cousin who walks towards the Gryffindor table hesitantly.
The feeling of dread entered your system as you faced Sirius— tables and houses apart.
Sirius really felt like throwing up. His head was spinning. His thoughts are in a jumbled, flurry mess, heck— he was even surprised he didn’t stumble on his way over to the Gryffindor table.
The claps from his house can be compared as an annoying ringing in his ears, they all look quite unsure, but still clapped nonetheless. He really couldn’t blame them.
The black sheep of the family.
A lion in a snake’s den.
“Black!” He quickly scanned the table and saw James calling for him and patting the space next to him— at least he won’t worry where he’ll sit for dinner now.
Nearing the glasses-wearing boy, he saw two boys who roughly looked the same age as them converse with James.
One was littered with scars, both old and new. His arms were also noticeably covered in bandages even with the school robes concealing most of his injuries— poor thing.
The other boy, well— forgive Sirius but he reminds him of a rat. You know, if a rat becomes a person, it will look like the bloke sitting beside scar boy?
“What an unexpected surprise.” James grinned, Sirius fought the urge to scoff. This was hell for the Black heir.
Both you and Sirius are uncertain on what this exactly entails, nervousness festering in your stomachs as this was way off from what both of you pictured.
He should be sitting beside you, eating and conversing with his older cousins. Instead, you both were staring at each other, a gap that seems impossible to conquer creating distance between you both.
#james potter x reader#marauders fanfiction#james potter#marauders era#sirius black#remus lupin#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#marauders fic#harry potter
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I’ve come to the conclusion that the day I stop connecting Taylor Swift songs to Mike Faist is the day I’m dead. I know you said you don’t listen to her but walk with me here:
In her song Sweet Nothing, there’s a line: “and the voices that implore you should be doing more, to you I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it.”
And it’s giving famous!reader being absolutely picked apart by the media/public for no reason at all, absolutely needing a soft place to land, and he is definitely that for her ❤️ (I’m in my sad girl era idk I need comfort)
Thank you for listening 😭
A big reason as to why Mike is reluctant to expand his celebrity stature more than it is now, is because he sees what she goes through daily, and quite frankly, he wants nothing to do with it. It looks like hell. If it’s not the harassment – online, or in person – it’s the stalking, the complete and utter disrespect for her safety. What do you mean she can’t go to the store by herself out of fear she will be followed home? In the early years of their relationship, she hid out at his apartment for a week because paparazzi were camping out in front of her apartment after a scandal broke.
For her, Mike is her safety net. He is her safe haven. She carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, but when she is with him, she feels it dissipate. He is the sun breaking through on a cloudy day.
I think it’s a big reason why he seems very closed off when attending public events, like premieres or the MET. The people who are begging to talk to him, to get his picture, to know who he is wearing, are the same people scrutinizing and picking apart every single fucking thing his girl does, all while she is just trying to breathe. She handles it well, but he doesn’t.
Once they are back in the hotel room, she can finally take a deep breath. He sees that invisible blanket dispel, and finally, his girl has returned.
He holds her tighter after these kinds of nights; they’re exhausting, and far too consuming. She lies between his legs, her head resting on his lower stomach, as he runs his fingers through her hair, feeling her drifting to sleep. It comforts him in these moments because nothing hurts her here, and for this little time, she is safe.
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Hi, how are you? I hope you're feeling well. I really like everything you write about the band of brothers. I was wondering if you could write a headcanon about "what would the boys be like as friends or best friends?", the reader being a company doctor. I hope you can do it and if you can't, don't worry, no problem. Thank you!!!🫶
Darling, platonic BFF friendships are literally the thing that makes my brain the happiest!! I could go on and on and on about this for EVER! Hopefully it will live up to the hype I have about it in my head lol. If you want me to expand on anyone's or do a more in-depth post, let me know!
Cut for length, more under the cut, obnoxious amounts of found family present:
Dick Winters:
-Listen, this man is prime best friend material. We all see how he is when he's with Lew and how he treats him. He's so loyal and devoted and respectful.
-The fact that you're a medic/doctor automatically means he appreciates you more—and if you can figure out how to make this man relax or rest, bonus points haha.
-Respects your limits and boundaries but wants what's best for you—so he's paying attention to if you're overworked or discouraged and trying to counteract those things the best that he can
-Gives the most comforting brotherly hugs??
-Also the best person to go to if you need to vent or just need some good advice; he is a great listener and doesn't automatically try to fix your problems as much as he does offer support and sympathy
-Always has your back and consistently just wants you to be happy. He definitely vets anyone that you date ever haha.
Lewis Nixon:
-Chaotic best friend energy is strong with this one. He's a chaotic mess of a person but is so ride or die for you it's not even funny.
-Being able to finish each other's sentences because of predictability and the way that he knows you so well
-Is always down to share a drink with you if he notices you're having a hard time or going through something emotional. But he doesn't ever let you get tipsy or drunk. You're his sobriety link tbh.
-The type of friend where you call each other teasing names to get each other's attention. Hypothetically, he might be referred to as the wife in your mind lol.
-Has money and is not afraid to splurge to get you stuff that he deems necessary because "at least one person in this friendship needs that and it's not me."
-If he knows you're overworked, he's kidnapping you for naps and he's a cuddler (like a damn cat or something haha)
Ronald Speirs:
-It's the mutual respect that he has for you and admiration—this man is a great friend and would take any number of risks to ensure your safety
-You're his safe space and so he loves being able to talk with you about anything and everything—but especially about what the two of you are feeling. This probably stems from you just not being scared of him in any way haha.
-Is also the type of friend who goes klepto for you?? Like he's in his little thief moments and just like, my bestie would like this, and then proceeds to steal said thing for you
-Takes the time to check in with you as often as he can and makes sure that you're resting—is lowkey a mother hen when you need him to be haha
-Is the type of friend where you never need to actually say what you're thinking, the both of you can just share a look and know exactly what movie quote you're both thinking of, what Lipton needs to calm down, or how best the situation will go.
-Also is super supportive and a hype-man for whatever you want to do with your life. He just wants you to thrive and fulfill your potential.
Buck Compton:
-OLDER BROTHER VIBES OKAY?? This is the type of person who likes to take people under his wing and he absolutely becomes fond of you because of how much you take care of other people.
-That being said, he's also the aggressive type of friend that's just like, "Oh??? You're overworked? Nap time then. Like right now."
-Loves swapping stories with you and talking about college. Also wants you to go to college though—preferably the same college so that the two of you can be friends there too.
-Gives really comforting hugs and is great at expressing gratitude and affirming that you're doing a good job
-Probably loves going out and playing darts or any number of games with you, especially if you're competitive
-Also down to watch any number of movies that you claim to be good and offers his own opinion lol
Carwood Lipton:
-An actual nervous mother hen that is consistently making sure you have enough supplies, that emotions are doing okay, and that you're getting the rest that you need
-Is the type of person who would give you his coat or jacket off of his back because "I told you it was cold, take my sweater." type of vibes haha.
-Wants to hear about your family back home and about your hopes for the future—is super positive about you making it home.
-Also talks to you about pretty much anything, including his girlfriend back home and wants you to approve of her haha
-Would absolutely make you share a foxhole with him because he can keep a closer eye on bestie that way
-He's just a giver??? So he's constantly sharing food or blankets or whatever it is that he thinks you might need. Top tier best friend tbh.
Joseph Liebgott:
-Chaos gremlin personified—this is the type of friend who's going to drag you into all sorts of trouble and also get you out of said trouble with ease
-He's a very touchy best friend and so hugs and cuddles are just to be expected
-Would throw hands if someone disrespected you because you're the only person he truly respects lol....and this also applies to you. The type of friend who aggressively tells you that he loves you and you need to be nicer to yourself.
-He's out here not wanting you to fall in love because, "I remember the day I saw you in that hospital bed—"
"You weren't there!"
"And I knew then that no one would ever be good enough for Y/N."
-You are the only person who can touch his chocolate stash and keep your life
-Also just wants you to come back to Cali with him and adopt you into his family
Donald Malarkey:
-A sweet friend who is great at emotional support. That being said, give him some support as well.
-Probably loves swapping jokes and telling stories with you—spreads stories about how amazing you are as well
-Wants you to come to Oregon and have a camping trip with his family because you're like family to him
-Also fiercely protective of you and consistently worrying about if something will happen to you if you're on the line or even when you're not.
-Runs all of his life plans by you because he wants your approval for sure
-Is super happy that he has you in his life because you're a great listener and you just understand him
Eguene Roe:
-THE ICONIC OF ALL ICONIC FRIENDSHIPS....listen, this friendship is so soulmate platonic, it's not even funny. He practically worships the ground that you walk on and respects the hell out of you.
-Definitely has a whole list of nicknames for you in French and has tried teaching you some of the language
-Tells you old Southern stories to try and keep your mind off of work at night time and he loves hearing any stories that you can come up with
-The both of you can call each other out on burnout or if you're overworked or stressed out. It's a great mutual way that you take care of each other.
-He prays for you all of the time and wrote home about you because you're his best friend
-The two of you work so well together that it sometimes throws everyone else off because you don't even need to talk when you're working together.
Bill Guarnere:
-Ride or die icon who is so vocal about adoring you that it probably annoys everyone else. And if you're not from Philly, he's about to become very patriotic about wherever you're from
-The type of friend who wants to hear about everything you're looking for in a partner so he can start vetting people ASAP
-Would share pretty much anything with you—coat, shoes, food, blankets, etc.
-Checks in on you frequently and definitely views you as the patron saint of easy company
-Wants to travel with you around the world after all of this is over
-Promises you a proper meal and a place to stay if you ever want to come and visit
Joe Toye:
-It's giving the quiet friend who always has your back and would throw hands for you, if given the chance.
-That being said, fiercely overprotective and gets annoyed if you get put in any danger or if anything happens to you.
-Also kind of a huffy friend where he's just like, "I told you that you needed a break. This is the worst." And then proceeds to take care of you anyway.
-Finds ways to make things fun for you no matter what's going on in the war and just wants you to smile
-Also gives really great hugs and loves physical contact and affection
-His family has definitely heard all about you lol
George Luz:
-You must truly understand his humor on another level because he thinks that YOU are the funniest person that he knows. Even if it's not true, he simply finds you to be the best.
-Would proudly brag about you to all of the other companies
-Appreciates hugs and cuddles, especially after Bastogne
-Is the type of friend who would hide a body for you, no questions asked lol—so he's definitely your alibi whenever you've gotten up to some mischief
-Has verbally eviscerated someone who was talking shit about you because he's just not having it
-Lowkey would move in with you after the war because you're his safe person
#band of brothers imagines#band of brothers headcanons#band of brothers masterlist#band of brothers asks#band of brothers#easy company#dick winters headcanons#dick winters imagines#dick winters x reader#dick winters#lewis nixon imagines#lewis nixon headcanons#lewis nixon x reader#lewis nixon#ronald speirs x reader#ronald speirs#ron speirs#buck compton x reader#buck compton#carwood lipton x reader#carwood lipton#joseph liebgott#joe liebgott#joe toye#bill guarnere#donald malarkey#eugene roe#george luz
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An unnecessarily thorough analysis of the Tarot imagery in Merlin Season One by an amateur tarot reader
(who is also a hopeless romantic and is currently very affected by the disaster that is BBC Merlin)
I started watching Merlin around two months ago. I fell in love with the show instantly, even if I technically haven't finished it yet because of time reasons (though I did spoil myself everything right to the ending and I’m devastated. Still trying to find courage to start season 5. But that’s beside the point)
There was something in the first season that caught my eye and hasn't let me go since. In fact, I was thinking about it today, went on a search for discussions about it, fully under the assumption that this is something the fandom noticed long beforehand is a well-known fact. To my endless surprise, I’ve found no mention! Nada! Not a single one. That won’t do, I thought. I have to share with the people. It's something that fueled my conviction in Merlin the Show being a love story between Merlin and Arthur (whatever the nature of that love may be, I love both the platonic and romantic interpretation equally, though this specific instance could be leaning towards romance somewhat more, I'll explain it in a second) and here it is.
It's this scene.
It is Merlin and Arthur, facing each other with two cups in between them, trying to decide who is going to drink the poison, sacrifice himself and save the other. And I thought Oh my god, tarot symbolism.
That's the card, the Two of Cups. The similarities are obvious (and, in my opinion, very intentional. I’d like to kiss whoever came up with this specific creative decision)
Slight disclaimer: Tarot reading can be very subjective, meanings shift depending on the reader and their perception of the card. I’ll try to be objective with the main aspects of the cards, but there is a lot of subjective opinions too. It’s okay if you disagree)
The main meanings of this card are partnerships, loving relationships, mutual attraction, unity, harmony and, you guessed it!, soulmates. It’s not hard to see why that card would have been chosen to represent them. I think that’s the most outright the show’s ever been about calling them soulmates, without hiding behind labels such as ‘each other’s destiny’ and ‘two sides of one coin’ as if those are any less gay. There is also themes of equality and becoming one, mutual respect and, in certain cases passion and sexual attraction (though it’s not a definition that is applicable in all cases, and can absolutely be ignored for platonic or asexual relationships, it’s still one of the main aspects, given that its represented by, you know, the big red head of a lion with wings right at the top of the card. Can’t exactly forget about it.)
Personally I've always preferred the Two of Cups to The Lovers tarot card (which looks very similar and has some intersections in themes, also concerning love, intimacy, passion). Plus, The Lovers is part of the Major Arcana, so technically it should be more impactful, ‘epic’, someone said, divine. While doing some research into that distinction I've found why exactly it makes me a bit queasy. The Lovers are not always a card about love, in fact, more often it isn’t. And The Lovers aren't made for each other. That is to say, they obviously are, considering the entirety transparent Adam and Eve imagery (and this also makes it a more conservative card, with clear molds for a ‘traditional relationship’). The Lovers are brought together by a higher power, made for a purpose. It serves something. It is a message. It is a lesson. It's a choice between what you want and what you need. It is a partnership, often intense, out of this world, but it’s also about all the factors in between, the things that unite them, the snake, the temptation, the apple, the garden. It can be also about soulmates, and happy relationships, of course, about fated lovers… and mortal enemies. It actually is more in line with Merlin’s and Morgana’s relationship. Out of this world fated connection? Absolutely, guaranteed. Do you want that kind of connection though, really?
How is this relevant, you might be thinking?
Well, there is no such divine power pushing the couple portrayed by the Two of Cups. In fact, they are choosing each other. It’s only them and their union. That’s why I like it so much. They are only the way they are, not the way they are meant to be, not specifically made for each other and yet they are right for each other anyway. And, somehow, just being them is enough. Is that not love?
In Merlin we are told that Merlin and Arthur are a part of each other’s destiny. The Once and Future King and Emrys, his protector, uniting Albion, prophesized by some unnamed seer(s). Does not seem very much like a choice, does it? I guess it depends on the way you view the prophecy and destiny in the show. Is it really all inevitable, and destiny is set in stone, unable to be changed, all leading to the same end, no matter what you do? Or is it the choices themselves that are the constants, fixed in place by the prophecy fulfilling itself? I think the answers to those questions are entirely up to each viewer, and that we can only speculate on it, and never know for sure which was it. Maybe there isn’t a right answer at all. But what I do know is there was a choice Merlin and Arthur made. Let’s return to the imagery on the card..
The couple is exchanging the cups. They are not just toasting – they are performing a ritual, a ceremony. Like exchanging rings, like giving vows. It’s a promise, it’s a connection, it’s a new step, it’s a commitment. And the parallels of the scene in 1x11 don’t end with just imagery. Merlin and Arthur complete the ritual! In the show!
In the episode 1x04, The Poisoned Chalice, Merlin starts the ritual by drinking from Arthur’s poisoned goblet, which he does to protect him. I would also like to add that this is the first time Two Cups appear that season (that's twice they used the imagery), notably, two ceremonial goblets that are supposed to symbolize peace and partnership between two kingdoms. Even if it doesn’t represent the actual state of the two kingdoms, it definitely shows King Bayard’s genuine desire for a peaceful alliance. And Merlin drinks from one of them!
Merlin drinks poison for Arthur and in Labyrinth of Gedref, Arthur drinks ‘poison’ for Merlin in turn. Very unconventional way to get married, I must say, but it’s remarkable that they do it in the same way (even if not at the same time).
So. What does all of that tell us about Merlin and Arthur?
We’ve established that the card signifies a very close, strong and significant relationship, chosen by both parties. Again, I like that it emphasizes the choice, that they didn’t just fall into the friendship because of destiny (even if it aided them). The Two of Cups is a part of the Minor Arcana, which deals with the every day matters, earthly lives. Is that not fitting? Merlin didn’t choose The Once and Future King, he chose Arthur, and Arthur didn’t choose Emrys, he chose Merlin.
Merlin’s who been promised a peaceful future. A land where magic is free. Merlin, who knows what’s supposed to happen: The Once and Future King brings that future. The King dies. Merlin, who has a choice to bring that future. To save Mordred. To remove the ban on magic. He doesn’t choose that, he chooses to essentially destroy that future entirely, just so he can have Arthur.
Arthur, who values Merlin’s opinion above everyone else’s, Arthur on his deathbed, finally seeing Merlin for who he is, says, “I don’t want you to change, I want you to always be you,” Arthur, who is dying, a few steps from the chance being saved, (still too far, not enough time), decides to stop because in his last moments he just wants to be held by Merlin.
They chose each other.
And that’s, dare I say it, love.
#why HASNT anyone mentioned this before#if someone has please tell me#i wrote this while running a fever if this is incoherent thats why#im scrared to put tarot tags in so i wont#merlin meta#merlin and arthur#merlin analysis#merlin bbc#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur
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hello beautiful people of tumblr.would you care to hear about this beautiful au ive come up with
boatem as liella (MORE ACTUAL THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT/A RUNDOWN OF WHOS WHO AND WHY)
mumbo as ren
- ren is the school concil presiendet and mumbo is ceo… its like the same almost
- ren is high class which means RICH!! mumbo is the RICHEST HERMIT!!
- generaly formal guys that are very silly
- i think like.cannot explain it but like if mumbo saw something serious he would act like he didnt see it (ren saw chisato was going to leave the school she acted like she didnt see it…)
- "Her favorite saying is, "Never forget why you started."" <-mumbocore
- ren got addicted to video games? MINECRAFT?
pearl as chisato
- pearl would work at a food truck in my head it feels fitting
- she wold most DEFINITELY be the one to train the other guys with dancing & other stuff
- gossip girl
- okay so chisatos whole thing in ep 5(?) where she was getting left out when kanon keke and sumire were with sunny passion because she was so involved with the idol group but wasnt actually an idol herself ? yeah pearl coded
impulse as kanon
- shes like. . . just normal girl and impulse is just normal guy but theyre both actually weird (/AFF POS)
- impulse would like .. . want to get into something and DESERVE to get into said thing but then absolutely die from anxiety during the audition / interview and not get in
- the impulse and scar dynamic that comes from them being kanon and keke.. . . .
- I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IMPULSE
scaar as keke
- scar biggest hypeman to anyone ever i think " this is my little guy and if you dont clap and cheer for him ill blow this place to the ground " energy
- ALL OF KEKE ENERGY IS SO SCAR!!
- "NO IDOL GROUP ALLOWED?! THIS IS PUPOSTERUS! [IMPULSE]. WE NEED TO QUIT THIS SCHOOL RIGHT NOW"
- completely hyped up to do something but then when it comes to doing it dies of anxiety but then bounces back instantly
- keke images that are scar coded to me below
- they both would and have chased down someone
grian as sumire
- grian's the kind of guy to kidnap someone take them to his house/shrine and try to preform some stupid magic to get them to forget something that happened but also is actively learning the magic while he does it
- SUMIRES LIKE!! the thing where she says "GALAXY!!" thats a bit grian coded to me i dont know what hed say though
- grian WOULD stand out in the rain desperate for someone to team up with him just like how sumire stood out in the rain desperate for someone to scout her (cough cough SECRET LIFE cough cough)
- like with sumire's thing about how when she was a child she only got side parts in stuff and she wanted to be the center in liella but then when they voted for kanon to be the center and she quit…. grian coded
- grian wouldve done something embarrassing as a child thats everywhere on the internet if you search hard enough and his friends tease him about it
THOSE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THESE HERMITS AND ANYTHING OF LIELLA REBLOG WITH THOUGHTS AND ADDITIONS IN THE TAGS ILL ADD TO THE POST !!!!!!!!!! or send an ask too
#timmister post#hermitblr#this is the craziest idea ive come up with but i might just be cooking#i DO have a small expansion for the new members that includes hermits but i havent decided on a natsumi yet. suggestions are appriciated#but currently its#joel = mei#cub = shiki#etho = kinako#oh and doc and ren are sunnypa#anyways everyone should watch love live superstar but the s2 writing is kinda bad.just to be warned#s1 is awesome though#love live#liella#boatem#grian#mumbo#gtws#pearlescentmoon#impulsesv#hey just putting it out there i think they would absolutely rock the start!! true dreams outfits wink wink nudge nudge
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Ok, so I would like to throw in my opinion on the "fell first/fell harder" Lestappen take.
Let me preface this by saying I'm very new to F1 racing and am learning quickly about the sport and the racers (and falling absolutely in love with all these adorable goobers too!)
I only looked into it because a coworker of mine is in love with Daniel lol. In searching Daniel I found a pic of Charles and was IMMEDIATELY like 👀👀 'Damn ok I see you, gorgeous, who are you??' And in searching him, I saw MANY pics of him and MAX.
In lengthy conclusion, MY hot take is this: Max fell first in a heavy moment of bi panic. Let's face it, Charles is the kinda guy that could definitely make "straight" men questions themselves for a hot minute. I can FULLY see, understand, and sympathize with the idea of Karting Day Max being genuinely confused about what exactly it is he's feeling for Charles because, no, absolutely NOT is he attracted to boys! (Read: his dad would probably get pretty pissed to hear/know his champion racing "straight" son has a huge boy crush on his rival of all people)
So it's treated like an early school crush where you're young and immature and kinda mean to them only because you don't want them to know you actually like them, y'know? Plus, he has to be a bit ruthless! This is his rival, for corn's sake!
Flash forward, Max goes to F1, his crush probably simmers/dies down now that he's got all new focus. In comes Charles to F1 bringing all those emotions and memories back to the surface. But Max is determined to stay focused this time. And in this time I believe is when Charles starts really dealing with HIS side of the crush because look at (his) Max now! All grown up and racing in F1 and giving him a serious run for his money and looking damn fine while doing it and Charles has trouble not letting it effect him.
Eventually time progresses, they grow and mature and come to realize they're both equally deserving to be where they are at and they're both amazing drivers and Max has now allowed himself to start letting go of the school yard crush tendencies and started really appreciating Charles for who and what he is. I think he's now allowing himself to just enjoy being with and around Charles. He's come to realize he LOVES the giggles and the dimples and the shimmer in the sea green eyes and, hey, Charles is a damn good driver so why shouldn't he be honest about that and tell the world?
I look at his body language and how he acts and speaks around Charles (and vice versa) and, for all the years they've known each other, they're still so bashful and giddy around each other. I've noticed that when Charles might be giving an interview, Max will just walk over and start talking, and Charles gives him his FULL attention despite the fact he was originally talking to someone else first. Maybe Max and Charles can't have each other romantically, so they take the best they can get.
I'm so sorry for such a long (and probably confusing) rant but I've really no one else to talk with about this and I'm OBSSESSED with their obsession with each other that I could go on for literal HOURS about these two lovesick knuckleheads 🥰🥰
no apologies needed i love you and this ask because long asks are the best. i also like the fact that you are of a different opinion because we can’t all see things the same way.
as for the who fell first vs who fell harder i get why you see it that way but from my side i feel charles fell first because that’s who he is, like it would take something very little to happen for him to get a him to like something/someone and he loses interest just as quickly. meanwhile max is the kind of person who takes his time to understand things/ people and it takes a while to like these things/people but once he’s in it’ll take a lot to get out/dislike something etc.
also, as i mentioned in an earlier post, it’s charles’ “hostility” towards max when they were younger that did it for me. like from the lore we have there’s nothing that max could’ve done that warranted charles disliking him so much. and no, charles got his revenge for the inchident. i think charles realised he had a crush and max was oblivious (at first) because all he was focused on at the time was racing (thanks to jos 😡) so he probably didn’t care to form many relationships/friendships with the other karters which probably made charles feel some type of way like max didn’t care enough to like him so he decided “if it’s only racing you care about i might as well give you something to remember me by” so he focused his energy on racing against him and just outright being a track terror. little did he know that’s what max needed to steer him to liking him (charles)but it was too late, max had a target on his back…and here we are.
if you ever want to talk about them, i’m here to listen and offer whatever take.
#asks#lestappen#lestappen dynamics#also can we get a body language expert please because i need to understand why they act the way they do around each other
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SPOILER
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So...I just I just ended the first episode of Moonvale (and my thoughts on some point I already express it)....when I saw the screen glitching at the end and Alan bodycam's recording the backpack...I IMMEDIATELY knew it was Jake...
THANK YOU EVERBYTE FOR MAKING JAKE SURVIVE 💚💚💚💚💚
I have still some point I would like to talk with you... like what Charlie have to tell us?? Maybe he knows Jake?? Or Richy?? And I still have question form Duskwood... like I would like to know if Phil got discharged from prison?? Who gave Hannah our number and why??
And for the Everbyte dilemma...I really hope they would change the game purpose and restore the Duskwood idea's of the package for the all game
When I saw the first glitch, I was like "Wt-" and then the second glitch came and I immediately knew what is going to happen and my 'Wt' ended with "OH MY GOD!" I immediately started gasping and almost wanted to throw away my phone with excitement. Then it said "new message incoming" and the next second I saw Alan's cam and was a bit confused at first and then I was ready for everything.
At first I actually thought we're going to see Alan chasing Jake through the forest which would have been sooo cool as well but I loved how Everbyte decided to do it. It was seriously everything needed and wanted. 😩
I never thought they would make him die but still, always a little worry in the back of my head. But now I'm just a silly little happy fangirl and this ending have me so much motivation and I love it.
About the thing with Charlie, I link you this post here because I have already talked in much more detail and I certainly can not remember everything I said. And it would only be a repetition.
But I can say that I have absolutely no idea what this means. I have so many questions and theories in my head but somehow I don’t believe in most of them myself.
Just another really mean Everbyte thing to give us this grudge and then to say "Yes, see you later, we’ll talk about it again in the next episode" and then we have to wait and worry again. It really is torture!
And I’m pretty sure we’ll get things answered. As long as they have not forgotten this promise as well...
But no, I think the side story will definitely not be too short and we will have to deal with it in the next episodes and hopefully find out everything. I mean, Everbyte took good care of Duskwood, I hope they brought that to Moonvale.
Personally, I would much rather have a real premium version again, even if I’m sorry for those who can’t afford it. I don’t want to have such inequality and such an advantage but as we have noticed now it is still not so easy to get through the game without paying money. No one is happy about it, and makes it unfair either way.
While some can buy gems, others can’t, it’s simply unfair to everyone. And I also hope that Everbyte will change their mind and bring back a little more from Duskwood.
Everything that has happened is still a bit confusing to me and even if I'm calmer, the disappointment is still there. And I really hope they will give us some of the Duskwood vibe back.
Otherwise, I just hope that you also liked the story of Moonvale itself and that you had a really nice game experience besides of everything around it.
And of course, thank you a lot for sharing your opinion with me/us. I really enjoyed reading it and it's especially wonderful to see other people being happy about Jake as well. 🤭
Have a wonderful day/evening/night! 💚
#jihobixarmy#moonvale#moonvale thoughts#moonvale game#moonvale episode 1#moonvale episode 1 spoiler#moonvale spoiler#moonvale criticism#moonvale jake#duskwood side story#duskwood jake#hbj mv x dw answers#hbj mv answers#everbyte studio#everbyte game#everbyte moonvale#moonvale everbyte
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Hey swaggy I wanted to ask you for advice.
You are a very cool person with a lot of cool sounding friends and I wanted to ask as a fellow autistic person... how do you do it?
I always feel so uncomfortable in social situations and around new people, but I want to make friends, because I'm lonely.
What advice can you give to an awkward and shy lady?
hi anon i have been thinking about this for a few days, sorry it took me so long to respond + sorry if it gets rambly! it's gonna be REALLY LONG (it was accidental) so i've put it under a cut but anyone is free to read this ^_^
i have had a lot of trouble over my life with the process of keeping friends; not because i fight with them or anything or do anything to make them stop liking me, i just really struggle with maintaining regular contact and "knowing how" to be friends with people. for every one friend i currently have now, there have probably been 5 more in the past where i just didn't know how to reach out to them or connect and we drifted apart because of it. i really wanted to be close to people, and be close to them like all the time, but i just really couldn't figure it out. and honestly i still really have a hard time with it to this day. from a really young age, i've really struggled with things like:
"how often should i talk to them? how do i know what's correct?" "when we hang out, what should we be doing?" "when i do talk to them outside of hanging out, how should i initiate it and what should it be about?" "how do i connect with them in ways that aren't exclusively superficial?"
mostly, i struggled (and still struggle) with the barrier that divides people into the categories "someone i enjoy the company of and who enjoys my company, but we are really just acquaintances who cross each others' paths often" and "someone who is definitively my friend that i invite places, talk to regularly (by my metrics), and intentionally seek out the company of." i'm not really sure what criteria draw the line between those two categories. i've had people who i considered best friends think we were acquaintances, and acquaintances who thought i was absolutely enamored with them and obsessed with them or something. navigating what it means to "be friends" with someone is so hard for me in my day to day life but i think i've just learned to live with it ngl.
all i know is that i absolutely adore spending time with my friends but the anxiety and fear of "what do i do with them and in what timeframe?" is always there. most of my close friends are also autistic or are very close to someone who is (like a family member or childhood friend), or we have known each other since we were wee little kids and they just got used to how i operate in friendships, so that brings down the anxiety quite a bit because they are experiencing the same thing and there are no expected rules to be followed. i didn't actively seek out autistic friends or anything, it just kind of happened, i think we gravitate towards each other for comfort in a world that is crazy insane to us.
onto the concrete advice !!!
if there is any possible way you can get yourself into regularly visiting a location or function where part of the location or function involves conversing with people who very likely share the same interests as you just by being at the function, DO IT. i hope this makes sense but this is where most of my friends came from; i participate in something i feel very strongly about, i talk to the people who are there by association because the situation requires or suggests it, and then we bond over shared interests that brought us to the function, then we become Friends. and then, those Friends you've made may introduce you to other Friends. here's my example:
i have always been in love with music since i was a little kid, so when i started 4th grade (the year my school let us join band) i joined band. it was an everyday type of thing so we all saw each other every single day and got to know each other in that 45 minute window for 9 years. it gave me a chance to bond with my classroom acquaintances over a shared interest (even just asking/telling them the fingerings or talking to them about what we learned or practicing together in practice rooms or sharing rides to concerts or gigs), and it also gave me a chance to talk to people who i may have never talked to outside of band. i still regularly hang out with a lot of the people i was in band with in high school, especially since some of them came to the same college and continued to do band, and/or they stayed local like me. i really really REALLY care about music so when people wanted some advice about it, needed help, or just wanted to chat about something shared, they would come to me and talk to me and i would be polite and engage with them and whatnot. now because of my reputation of being the Band Girl, i'm the student in charge of band and choir, i work for the music department on campus, i'm the president of a related honors society, so everybody comes and talks to me for all that stuff. sometimes it's overwhelming but i do get to talk to a lot of people i really enjoy the company of.
honestly, if there's anything u can take away from what i'm saying, treat socializing almost like networking if that makes sense? networking comes easier to me than socializing so like, if i put myself in a place where people are encouraged by the social rules to talk to me about something i'm interested in because of the shared function, and enough people talk to me, eventually i will find people i click with. i used to be very shy and awkward because people would tease me for being loud and outgoing and excitable but i stopped giving a fuck because life is too short and now everyone is obsessed with me. if you are more laid back i think this will also work just fine because there are just as many people who dislike how boisterous and outgoing i am, it's just different for everybody. normal human person things.
but srsly things like band have been my clutch. college classes are also helpful because as you get older and into higher grades, your classes become more specialized to your major, and if you go to college for a major you're obsessed with (for me it's specialties under conservation ecology and music as a minor) you will run into people with the same interests as you just based on your classes. clubs have also been important to me; feminist club, recycling/eco friendly club, creative writing club, and all the other clubs i'm a part of. for most of them, you have to attend a certain number of meetings to be considered a part of the club, so that gets me out and about and introduced to the people in it. they have events very very often that are held for all of campus and i try to make myself go to all the ones i can possibly make it to, even if i don't have anyone to go with. worst case scenario, someone will either see me alone and pity me and accompany and maybe we'll find out we like each other, or i'll end up staying alone for the event which honestly isn't bad because i prefer doing things by myself and i already intended to be alone anyway.
i also visit a lot of local shops and get to know the owners and the workers, and i attend their special events too, even if it's like a local diner with a 20% off breakfast weekend. it gives me something to do and i can chit-chat with the waitresses and maybe there will be other people there. i also like going to places like goodwill because sometimes there are people who will just like. Talk to you randomly. like an npc dialogue option but they're real
other people may say go to the club or the bar but i am NOT a solo bar or club goer especially as a woman. i will just sit at the bar and talk to the bartender if they initiate contact with me and drink my little drinks. i know that people go to those places almost exclusively for the chance to socialize but it feels almost intrusive since i don't know them. it may be different for you, it most likely isn't, but the bars and clubs are PRE-EXISTING FRIEND ACTIVITIES ONLY for me.
there's a bunch of fun little businesses too. we have axe throwing, kayak rentals/kayaking lessons, and stuff like that. i do those as often as i can and offer my advice to the people i meet there if they seem like they need it, or i engage with them if they talk to me. i've run into a lot of people while kayaking on the river who just like to chill and sit back and drink their beer and chit chat with you.
the weirdest place i have made a friend was the drive-thru at starbucks. she had the CUTEST star-themed outfit, i'm talking like she had clips in her bangs with stars on them, star-print glitter on her cheeks, hairties with stars on them that held her braids, and a bunch of space themed pins on her apron. i was like "idk if this is weird or not but i just could not drive away without saying anything, i absolutely love your vibe and i wanted to ask where you got some of that stuff and just tell you you look stunning i LOVE it" and then we almost got in trouble because we ended up having a full blown conversation after she gave me my food and before i left she handed me a paper with her snap on it lol. we still talk regularly even tho she lives like 3 towns away. if it's someone you may never see again ever, just shoot your shot even if it's weird becos u rly have nothing to lose. most ppl don't care about being weird because they themselves are weird deep down, and everyone loves compliments, and everyone loves someone who isn't scared to randomly compliment strangers in public (<- at least in my experience. maybe some ppl hate that)
if there are any clubs (like book clubs or interest clubs), any local bands like a county band if you play an instrument (we have one in my county where musicians can apply and then they play a few concerts every year and when i graduate i'm applying) OR instrument lessons anywhere nearby, maybe a local coffee shop or diner that hosts local artists every so often, stuff like that is always good. or local theater productions! you don't even have to be good at acting, i just did it because i wanted to be friends with a few of the people i met after seeing a show, and it worked. local theater is always so extremely fun because it's average people from around your area. i also go to the same spots to birdwatch often and i've met some random people through there.
a lot of it can seem scary but it's good to do things while scared to build your tolerance and also build some life experience and figure out what you Do like and Don't like in the process !!
most of my friends i have now were either close childhood friends or people i met at college, but a lot of ppl don't go to college and there are plenty of other places i have met people so i wanted to list as many i could think of. and someday i will no longer be in college so i will have to find other ways to make friends. teehee.
ALSO!! if your friends offer to introduce you to their other friends or bring you somewhere alongside their other friends, and you feel comfortable enough doing it (it's ok if you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone just a teeny bit but don't go overboard), definitely do that !!! that's honestly how i met my boyfriend AND my closest college friend i have rn.
i also feel very awkward in social situations, but i'm the type of person where i start to YAP when i get nervous instead of getting quieter and stop talking. i will say literally anything just to fill a silence and that's how i've always been. i think u have to become okay with being a yapper to some degree, even if it takes a while, even if u have to do the other steps first and get familiar enough with someone to start yapping at them. in my friend group, my favorite thing to say to the other 3 is "there's shit in my butt rn" and one day we were at a cafe for a college event and i was talking to a friend of my friends and while she was in the middle of saying something i looked her in the eye and said "there's shit in my butt rn" because i forgot to turn my body and head in order to say it to my friends instead of directly at her. it did not go terribly at all she actually laughed so hard that she doubled over and now we all say it to her when we pass her in the halls or she comes by in the dorm or smtn.
Basically, you could be the weirdest person on earth, but as long as you do it with confidence and pride then there are soo many people who will fuck with it. people tell me my strangeness and awkwardness is part of my appeal
also internet friends can help as well!!! it sucks because they aren't always the same as irl friends since sometimes they are so far away but one of my best friends ever that i've had since i was 9 is an online friend of mine and we talk all the time. he and i are closer to each other than we are with ppl irl. i find that socializing online is easier sometimes because you can just yell shit onto an app or website and then people might say something back and there's nothing personal initially involved.
i am out of Things but this is what i thought of over the past few days, i rly hope this helps at least a little bit, and feel free to send in any more asks if u want to talk !!! my msgs are also open i don't mind. godspeed anon 🫶🏻
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Jjk 261 spoilers ahead. I don't usually do this but I have no friends who are following the manga properly and this is just a brain dump.
At first I thought this was an an asspull, and considering all the shit Gege has been doing since the fight with Sukuna started, that'd be an accurate assumption. But. Kinda makes sense why he'd do this:
1. All of us expected, someone to come back with stitches across their forehead, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who thought Gojo was a good possibility after he died (off screen, mind you). This was just the worse possible way for the worst possible thing to happen.
2. Gojo's entire character. "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you are strongest?" This will be answered definitely depending on the outcome of the fight, but tbh I feel like we are leaning towards The Strongest being more of an impactful character than Gojo Satoru himself.
Leave subverting expectations and realistic depiction of systemic corruption and war, jjk is more about Murphy's Law, anything that can do wrong, will go wrong. We haven't had a single moment of triumph or even joy since Shibuya started. Technically, the losses were heavier on the curses' side (only Kenjaku was left alive, at the cost of Nanami and Nobara's deaths) but we didn't get to see Yuuji kill Mahito, and Kenjaku started the Culling Games. This has been a losing battle from the start, and I didn't think for one moment that Yuuta actually killed Kenjaku permanently. And technically. He didn't. He took the curse technique. And Kenjaku himself handed over to Sukuna the switch to start the merger with Tengen. So in essence, Kenjaku isn't really dead, is he?
Hear me out: All the things that Gojo has been trying to do by raising and teaching the younger generation to be better (taking in Megumi, saving Yuta and Yuji, being a teacher, however badly) will turn out to be useless if jujutsu society doesn't stop its people as weapons treatment of sorcerers. If the things he was doing as Gojo Satoru, and not The Strongest, don't have a tangible effect, does it mean anything? If a tree falls in a forest and no-one hears it, does it make a sound?
Yuta knows its disrespectful, dehumanising, absolutely cruel to take over Gojo's body but he did, he had to, there was no better option, not against someone like Sukuna, not if they want things to not get any worse. He is 17. He is currently the strongest. He is, and was always meant to be, the next Gojo Satoru. None of the special grades, except perhaps Yuki, have been their own person more than they have been the product of jujutsu society's depravity. Geto and Yuta have taken choices they knew were bad because they didn't see anything better they could to in that situation. Nothing has changed since the Star Plasma Vessel arc. Gojo Satoru's efforts have not yet brought any fruit other than saving a handful of kids lives and then immediately putting them in the higher ups' hands. The Strongest, in the meantime, has always been an effective weapon.
Huh. This got way longer than I expected. But regardless of what I've said, I don't think I can say anything about narrative choices until we know the ending. I cannot tell what jjk is about, other than exploiting the younger generation in an endless cycle, weird family relations, and maybe a bit about how the history repeats itself. If anyone has more themes to assign to jjk, please let me know. I don't know wtf is going on Gege's head.
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Do you think a cool idea would be in a au, Bill "convinced" Dipper by manipulation, mind control , ECT to kill in the name of Bill. Each kill Dipper does, he gets a smooch from Bill or another award from Bill?
I'm reasonably sure that this AU has been written somewhere before, but there's always variations on it! If that's what you're looking for, I'm sure people can provide recs in the replies, and AO3's tagging system is fantastic if you're looking for specific tropes.
#answers#I totally feel like this fic exists but damned if I can recall it#Anyway this is the fluff and occasional angst zone. With pornography.#Dark Billdip is super fun but not particularly what I'm interested in writing#But I definitely absolutely know it's out there for people who want it
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when sapkowski is all “i don’t believe in absolute evil” like he didn’t write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though
#likeeee it kind of seems to me that… they got pretty close. to absolute evil. you know#like uhhh… nilfgaardian invasion detailed in baptism of fire anyone#though ok ok his point was that there is no absolute evil as in being motivated by evil itself#that evil always has its own motivations and those motivations can be evil but it’s not evil for the sake of being evil#HOWEVER that being said i feel like bonhart really was just evil for the sake of being evil#you could say for the sake of sadism or for greed (him being the anti-geralt lol and actually being a stereotyped idea of witcher ngl)#buuuut i feel like sadism and greed are just niche evils themselves#with vilgefortz and the wallcreeper and also emhyr (didnt mention his ass at first but throw him in too) they’re more just power hungry#and wanting revenge on those that wronged them (interesting because isn’t this also what our protags want—minus the power)#anyways reviewing these interviews again has me 😂😳😌 but also 🤨#sometimes i feel like (with this discussion on evil) the economics background really shines through LMAO#like well sometimes i feel like there really is evil that is evil evil. sometimes people are just hateful and targeting with their hate#and you know this yourself bc you wrote it wtf#like you’re not gonna call the human peasants who slaughtered the dwarves and elves in rivia evil? i would call that absolute evil#maybe not their entire lives but in that instance true evil manifested#i feel like the definition of evil im getting at is hate and bloodthirst#which yeah sometimes that exists for no reason whatsoever#i mean it can be based out of economic ‘reasoning’ (manipulated into propaganda) to scapegoat a population and target of hate#but it quickly excels past any reason whatsoever. yeahh i dont think evil always has a motivation outside of evil. disagree#the elbow-high diaries#also there’s more context here i’m leaving out bc its just too much to talk about in the tags of this post
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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.
i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.
brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.
eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.
back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.
i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.
maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.
when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.
when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.
i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.
when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.
brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.
by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.
due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.
i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.
it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.
also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon#he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was#and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her#regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and#mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following#the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have#killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and#was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3#idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.
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i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk
#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG#they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she#-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just#-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically#-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean.#i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing#-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s#-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses#-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and#-support… none of which she got.#also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING#and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely#-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte#-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her#and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day!#like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff#it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are#they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa#-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too#-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve#-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody#who is scared and in the closet and hurting#also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte#like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to#-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he#-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue#and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks.#also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣#i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID#like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner
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God. God. God. Holy fucking shit i love Avatar so fucking much
#horse.txt#im being so real right now it breaks my goddamn heart that so many people hate it on principle and go into it waiting to be disappointed#like. god. seriously? how do so few people seem to see the shit im seeing? how do people not GET its RIGHT THERE???#idk man im like. high and the hd release is out so it feels like Christmas but this shit has been on my mind and its at like a precipice#its one thing when ppl just aren't into it but the absolute LOATHING and DISDAIN people harbour for these movies is just. baffling#i cant understand it#i hate statistics. why did it have to pan out this way#how can anybody hate this production literally decades in the making? the fucking DEFINITION of a Passion Project?#the labour and love and inventive GENIUS that has gone into these films--and#you know what? the writing ISN'T that fucking awful. its not perfect because no movie is ever fucking perfect and sometimes you#have to give a script and characters breathing room. room to make mistakes!!! because this fucking obsession with#'characters dont have to be realistic!' is BULLSHIT. and NO saying that does not conflict with the idea that Characters=/=real ppl in#discourse!the ideas can fucking coexist! having realistic characters is GOOD its fucking GOOD when theyre stupid and do shit you dont like!#because thats what REAL PEOPLE DO thats what makes them fucking COMPELLING thats what youre SUPPOSED to let draw you in!!!!!!#but noooo no no no no keep repeating your smurf pocahontas jokes and roll your eyes at anyone who does like it like theyre stupid#because you can't be assed to give something a chance just because everyone Else is calling it stupid#and you dont want them to roll their eyes at /you/#i know this is dumb to be so heated about but im just. im sad man. im happy im having a great day!! but im sad#about how few people i can share it with yk..???
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