#Coach beard

[may-be-magic]

Ted Lasso, as a show, was harmed by the short seasons that are commonplace in productions today and would've benefitted from 20 episode seasons with room for filler episodes. In this essay I will-

#ted lasso #roy kent #coach beard #i wish we couldve gotten more bottle episodes #why is beard after dark the only one?! #A MUSICAL EPISODE #we coulda had a musical people!

[thetarttfuldickhead]

There was this post a little while back suggesting that Beard gets kicked out by Jane and moves in with Higgins and that’s very narratively satisfying and right, given that Leslie’s the one person daring to tell Beard that his relationship with Jane isn’t, you know, great. However, I’m a Roy & Jamie girl at heart, so I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Beard instead moved in with his fellow fan of few words, ie one Roy Kent.

Say, for instance, that Roy and Jamie are fucking/dating/what have you and Jamie gets it into his pretty, silly head that they can somehow hide the fact from Beard. Roy tells him stop being an idiot, of course he’s going to know if he’s staying here, only way to keep it from him if you keep away until he finds another place to live, and fuck no, I’m not moving in with you, how the fuck would I explain that, and anyway your fucking headboard would give me a migraine.

Well, Jamie says mulishly, I’m not staying away.

Fine, Roy says, secretly a little relieved. So he’ll know. Big fucking deal.

And in this version of events Roy really is cool with it, because it has to come out sooner or later and he’s not ashamed and it’s not like Beard’s gonna say anything (Roy may or may not be mistaken in this assumption), and anyway, he’s Roy Kent, he does whatever the hell he wants, okay. Only Jamie doesn’t accept that, because he has this strong and somewhat misguided notion that he needs to defend Roy’s honour by not letting anyone suspect he’s fucking his player. So Jamie starts making up increasingly absurd excuses as to why he should show up at Roy’s place like having some work done at my house and Roy was concerned I’d be breathing in poisonous fumes, yeah, so he said I had to come over here and um, Coach, I think I strained my calf today, could you maybe take a look here in the bedroom ‘cause my back hurts too and I need to lay down and yeah, Beard’s eyebrows are not as psychotic as Roy’s but they certainly climb and climb and climb. Later in the evening he just glances at Roy, so, you and Jamie, huh? And Roy shrugs, unconcerned, yeah, and pours himself another cup of tea. He doesn’t tell Jamie that they’ve been made, though; it’s still kind of fun watching the muppet make a fool of himself. Besides, the idea of their encounters being particularly illicit seems to really get Jamie going, so.

Alternatively, Jamie agrees to stay away, and then proceeds to do everything in his power to set Beard up with someone else so that Beard can be happy and move in with his new friend and Jamie can go back to shagging his grumpy old boyfriend all over the house. The attempts are predictably absurd, but also oddly sweet (‘cause Jamie wants the relationship to last, right, so that Beard doesn’t come knocking on Roy’s door again anytime soon, so obviously he needs to find someone properly nice, but it’s hard for him to figure what nice means to someone as odd as Beard).

(These two scenarios work if Keeley’s part of the mix, too, btw. She can either join in Jamie’s antics because she’s a weird girl at heart, or she can be the voice of reason if a voice of reason is what gets you going.)

Or say that Roy and Jamie really are just friends (for the moment, at least) and it’s Roy that gets a little nervous about Beard realizing just how close they are. Like, he’s reluctantly cool with everyone knowing that Jaime is his favourite player (though of course he’d deny it if someone dared say it to his face) or them knowing that Roy spends stupid amounts of time torturing training Jamie, but he’s not quite comfortable having people know that they also just… hang out. That Roy cooks Jamie dinner. Leaves Phoebe with him when Roy’s busy with a coaching crisis. That they watch stupid shit on the telly together, and that Roy doesn’t complain (much) when Jamie curls up to him like a cat. That stuff’s private, all right? So he stops having Jamie over, starts brushing him off, and at first Jamie’s undeterred because if he let Roy’s grumpiness get to him he’d never not be gotten to, but Roy persists and Jamie starts to wilt, hurt and confused. In the end, Beard – wise, all-seeing Beard – fixes Roy with one long stare and notes that there’s nothing wrong with having a friend, Coach. Plenty wrong with being shit to the ones you’ve got, though, and Roy doesn’t even yell fuck he just stands there, stony like, until he jerks a short nod and stalks off to make things up to Jamie.

Anyway, the idea of Beard bearing witness to Roy and/or Jamie being particularly ridiculous about each other is very funny, to me.

(I tried to hunt down that original post because even though I didn’t want to add to it and derail OP’s poignant take with my Roy & Jamie obsession, I still want to credit them for the original idea. Couldn’t find it, however, but please give me a shout if you have a link. Aha! @coachbeards is the original galaxy brain!)

#it's royjamie crack o'clock again #i just like it when one of them is being very silly/very fucked up you know? #they take turns #roy kent #jamie tartt #coach beard #royjamie #roy & jamie #my stuff

[jamiesfootball]

The most specific way I can think of to describe Dr. Jacob is that he's the sort of person who impulse bought a Traeger grill and then got frustrated when it turned out that the food took longer to cook than on a regular grill. He used it twice, and now he brags to people about how those things don't work *that* good

Meanwhile Ted's the kind of guy who fretted over whether he should by a Traeger, bought an Egg instead because he thought it looked easier, then read the instructions and realized he was in over his head. He called Beard for help.

Meanwhile between stripping and meth, Beard went through a phase where he built his own smoker out of retrofitted barrels and parts of an old wheelbarrow. He entered some competitions, but was ultimately kicked out of the Kansas City Barbeque Society for preferring Carolina-style sauces too vocally.

#this is my most specific of headcanons #I don't know where this came from #ted lasso #coach beard #ted lasso meta #cw food

[coachbeards]

TED LASSO | 2x09 "beard after hours"

#ugly gifset bc ugly coloring BUT this was so loud? see they could've made beardjane a consensual/healthy d/s relationship but noooo #ted lasso #tedlassoedit #coach beard #tedlassogif #this scene is so weird coloring wise so i gave up #the 'you're not in charge of me' and the little interested😏 when she gives him a look ok freak (affectionate) #sure man . i know jane wasn't the one tied up in 3x12

[tarttygoodness]

This episode means so much. Beyond my VIVID imagination. It was the episode that confirmed - like for real confirmed - that Roy and Jamie are something. Roy was in anguish and didn't know where to put it (I mean personally I'm sure he knew exactly where he wanted to put it... boom). But it wasn't until Jamie expressed how excited he was to spend a wild night in Amsterdam that Roy acted.

Maybe it was a bit of jealousy at the thought of Jamie getting drunk and hooking up with someone. Maybe all their early morning training sessions taught Roy that Jamie was the right kind of person to spend time with when you're emotionally distraught. Maybe he just wanted Jamie all to himself and faked a training session to get him off the bus so he could spend that night with him without all the others.

But Roy and Jamie had some honest moments of connection together. Roy allowed himself to be vulnerable and let Jamie teach him something for once. Jamie became the Dad figure and the Coach and then destroyed all our hearts with that traumatic reveal. These - even the awful things - were beautiful, beautiful moments that - like everybody else's moments - transcended sex. The beautiful moments between Rebecca and her Dutch guy. The connection between Trent and Colin. The team finally having their pillow fight, y'all. Ted, connecting with all the reasons he needed to go home to his son (and accidentally inventing Total Football 45 years after it was first invented).

Don't get me wrong. I love the episodes that show us AFC Richmond on the pitch, doing their thing, and I love the episodes that bring it back to soccer but this episode lives in my heart and it will always be my favourite.

PS - did Dani ever see his tulip?

#jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso #coach beard #ted lasso fic #sunflowers #ted lasso sunflowers #character growth #character development #for grandad #piggy stardust

[probablynottola]

diamond dogs edition

#ted lasso crack #ted lasso memes #ted lasso meme #diamond dogs #ted lasso #roy kent #coach beard #nate shelley #trent crimm #leslie higgins

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

For the wip word game how about possible, true and/or constant?

Thank you my friend!

possible in the whump prompt sequel/continuation:

Roy didn’t know how long he stayed with Jamie crying on his shoulder, but by the time Jamie was sitting up and wiping his tears, the sun was rising. It was a cruel reminder that it was a new day. Sunrises meant a new beginning, and that anything was possible, but for Jamie, it was just the same old nightmare. How many times had Jamie watched the sunrise while held hostage to the pain inflicted by his own father?

And added 247 words!

“Jamie?” he asked tentatively. “Is it okay if I call Ruth? Someone should look you over.” Jamie sniffled loudly before nodding, “Yeah.” His voice was barely a whisper, hoarse and gravely like Ruth’s was that last time. Just reached out a cold hand and grabbed his wrist. “Just, just Ruth, though, right?”  “Just Ruth,” he promised. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Jamie nodded again, and Roy slowly separated himself from Jamie. He walked towards the front door, the crunch of broken glass under his boots the only sound in the room. 

true from thought i wanted love ('til you showed me what it was):

“All you’ve done for me?” Jamie snapped, years of disappointments streaming out through his words. “Like what? All the fucking abuse you’ve thrown my way for years while riding my fucking coattails?” “Abuse? Fuck you are soft. You would be nothing without me. You think your good for nothing mother would have pushed you the way I did?” Jamie’s blood boiled at the mention of Georgie.  “Don’t talk about her like that,” Jamie said, pointing a finger at his father. “Don’t talk about her at all.” “It’s true. That woman’s useless. Without me, you’d probably still be breastfeeding.”

144 new words for the sprint but I'm not a huge fan of them sooooo, apologies.

Constant from false confidence:

He needed air, and he did need to talk to Beard. Beard would ground him. Beard was his constant here—and he had been his constant for a long time. It was just the two of them a lot of the time in college. Being the backup punter and kicker separated you from the rest of the team even more than the starting punter and kicker. Ted had never met anyone like Willis before. Beard was open and adventurous—maybe too adventurous. 

Sprinted 398 words!

When he was in high school, his English teacher had a big banner that read: Apathy is not an option. Mrs Carroll sure would be disappointed if she could see him right now.  Ted looked again at Jamie, his back tense under the hospital gown, even asleep. Jamie, who had done everything asked of him since returning to the team. Jamie, who watched his role on the Greyhounds get chipped away at inch by inch. Jamie, who has become one of eleven, only to stand in the cold dark shadow of one in a million.  Ted should’ve talked to him. Ted should’ve done a lot of things. 

#roy kent #jamie tartt #fuck jamie's dad #ted lasso #coach beard #whumpt prompt #fic: false confidence #fic: TIWLTYSMWIW #cw abuse

[cinematicnomad]

TED LASSO ▸ 3.11 mom city

#tedlassoedit #tedlassogif #tledit #coachbeardedit #roykentedit #coachtedlassoedit #ted lasso #coach beard #roy kent #coach ted lasso #spoilers #cnomadedits #dailytvfilmgifs #tvedit #filmtv #userbbelcher #cinematv #dailyshowbiz

[lunar-years]

Every single week the stills get released and it’s just another picture of these 3 that looks exactly like this lmao

#go girl give us nothing! #literally this week is particularly bad they are giving us NOTHING #(and each week I act shocked when it happens yet again lmao) #Roy Kent #coach beard #ch: ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso

[pineappical]

back on my bs

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #coach beard #yeah. LMAO #pn.art #u have to pry these guys from my cold dead hands

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

1x9 | 2x12 | 3x11

#sobbing #im not crying you are #forgiveness #stop it #ted lasso #tedlassoedit #god #1x9 #2x12 #3x11 #beard x nate #nate x beard #coach beard #nathan shelley #roy x jamie #jamie x roy #roy kent #jamie tartt #brett goldstein #phil dunster #gif #gifs #gifset #ted x rebecca #rebecca x ted #jason sudeikis #hannah waddingham #rebecca welton #love this for them #growth

[kwistowee]

It was right there all this time... TED LASSO 2.01 | 3.12

#tedlassoedit #ted lasso #jason sudeikis #coach beard #willis beard #tedlassosource #userspacey #nessa007 #tuserliliana #uservalentina #usersugar #appletvsource #userbbelcher #chewieblog #tvedit #cinemapix #userthing #my*gifs #entering my photopea era #richmond till we die #the fact that he wasn't just quoting 'diff'rent strokes'

[luminarai]

And that was the last time anybody on the team attempted polite small talk with Beard.

I’ve been working on this since eurovision and got it done just in time for the s3 finale 🥲 speaking of eurovision, if you look really really closely at the interval show you might just be able peep Beard in the background…

#my art #ted lasso fanart #Ted lasso #ted lasso art #joke from b99 #coach beard #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #colin hughes #isaac mcadoo #dani rojas #richard montlaur #thierry zoreaux #jan maas #feat. dadi freyr #ok time for my hand to fall off now #Noah Fence is Jamie tartt’s pre-Madonna I will die on this hill that I made myself

[skulandcrossbones]

Roy chose out. I assumed.

TED LASSO S03E08: WE'LL NEVER HAVE PARIS

#tedlassoedit #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #tedlassogif #trent crimm #coach beard #roy kent #originals #1k #5k

[siobhans-roy]

TED LASSO 3.07 “The Strings That Bind Us”

#tedlassoedit #userk8 #userpayel #usernastya #usertreena #userhella #useralison #useraurore #userannalise #uservalentina #userchelsea #tuserhan #userpolaris #tuserabbie #tuserluz #ledtasso #ted lasso #coach beard #jamie tartt #* #ted lasso spoilers #CUTEST line delivery from phil here #but also showing cruijff and pep some love...they fed me so well this ep

[blairwaldcrf]

Ted Lasso - 3x08

#tedlassoedit #ted lasso #tedlassosource #tedlassogif #ted lasso 3x08 #ted lasso spoilers #henry lasso #roy kent #william kitman #coach beard #trent crimm #*by me #*** #****