#Eric Cartman hcs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kwnnys · 1 year

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— kyle, eric, & kenny w a dirty minded reader (platonic) !

hcs : g/n reader a/n : this idea was haunting my mind and I js had to write it 😓😓 also I originally wanted to add stan but I had no ideas for him sorry 😭😭 warning(s) : nsfw mentions

— kyle broflovski

DUDE IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT.

you and cartman are the reason why hes this close to going insane

you love bothering him with silly jokes that make his face as red as his hair, bursting out laughing as he pinches the bridge of his nose

especially in public. you two would be sitting beside each other in the assembly hall when you randomly get a dirty thought. grinning evilly as you whisper said thought in the gingers ear.

his head will immediately cock towards you and he'll give you the most DISGUTING and STANKIEST expression known to man.

you only laugh it off.

you also like to bother him with 'does the carpet match the drapes?' questions, to which he always refuses to answer.

physically gags whenever he sees you staring at some person all drooly.

you draw dicks on his homework when he isn't looking. in pen.

— eric cartman

one of the few people that actually tolerates your shitty humor.

he snorts at most of your jokes, and he considers you as his 3rd best friend after butters and kenny.

you two like tag teaming against stan and kyle whenever they get TOO close, much to the disappointment of the duo.

"I love you, kyle" "I love you too, dude" "jesus, why don't you two go and makeout at this point." "yeah, grind on each others dick while you're at it!"

usually ignores you when your gawking at some hot person, but occasionally tells you to shut up.

he does get annoyed sometimes when you're restless and joke around too much for one day.

HATESS whenever you make jokes about his mom. will literally throw hands and tell on you.

calls you a horny virgin

used to rip on you 24/7 till you 'jokingly' said you were into it.

— kenny mccormick

the most iconic duo ever.

the only person that understands you and your dirty mind 😞

you guys CONSTANTLY ogle at random hot people, whispering and giggling to each other as said person just stares at you two in concern.

you both also exchange playboy magazines all the time. and you two are hella sketchy when doing so.

"got the goods, ken?" "yeah, got it right here"

the group thought you were doing drugs at first tbh.

you and kenny are always fueling dumb ideas and questions into each others minds

you two are also each others wingman/wingwoman 🤝

you guys made a pact a few years ago that if at 35 you were both still single, you'd get married

jokes about who has the bigger dick constantly (even funnier if you're afab)

kenny is probably the kind of guy to moan randomly during class, you both think its the funniest shit ever.

you guys like to buy flavored lube and rate it. probably also fed it to cartman once telling him it was some candy.

#— elys works #south park x reader #south park fluff #south park hcs #main 4 #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #kyle broflovski hcs #eric cartman hcs #kenny mccormick hcs #style #rip stan #stan marsh #platonic south park x reader

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everythingwasnormalhere · 2 months

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In my class they're talking about autism rn, so some ND headcanons for the boys (main 4 + Butters)

Kenny: Definitely autistic it's so obvious to me for some reason Also PTSD. Dude dies 24/7 and has an awful family life what did you expect?

Kyle: OCD, I know it's a kinda popular headcanon but still

Stan: BPD don't ask why he gives the vibe Depression too because. C'mon it's Stan he's depression personified

Cartman: D.I.D. (this is @richierambles fault btw) (disclaimer: people with D.I.D. aren't usually assholes, they're mostly pretty cool. This is just a headcanon for a character that exhibits D.I.D.-like behaviours, who just happens to also be an asshole)

Butters: Autism but a bit spicier than Kenny's (autism4autism real)

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h-harleybaby · 9 months

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No no you’re not listening to me why does no one talk about Cartmans bus pass???

It’s officially licensed merch and it says his hair is curly so why are we not talking about curly hair Cartman? Cupid Cartman (or ‘Cupid Me’) has curly hair and that’s just Cartman in a Cupid form if you will. I mean you could always say “yeah well Cupid has always had curly hair” but shut up I’m talking!!! We only see Cupid Cartman with a hat on during Cupid Ye and that’s presumably the only time he ever wears one, let alone clothes, SO HIS HAIR IS JUST HOW IT IS ALL NATURAL OR WHATEVER!! The way I’m taking it is that Cartman and his Cupid counterpart have curly hair and it’s not just because Cupid usually has curly hair. I now present you an hc, Cartmans hair kinda looks straight like how Stan’s does because he literally always has his hat on. His hair isn’t incredibly curly like Kyles but it’s curly god damn it!!!! It’s just always flattened or a lil greasy like Stans probably is. Poor Stan, his hair is practically stuck to his forehead with how greasy it is 😭😭

“Harley what are we even talking about?” I hear you ask, AND THE ANSWER IS I DUNNO BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS CARTMANS HAIR IS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT CURLY AND THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY

#I usually don’t know what I’m talking about ignore me #h harleybaby needs help #harley won’t shut her mouth #mom come get harley she’s rambling #eric cartman hcs #cartman #eric cartman south park #eric cartman #sp cartman #fucking eric cartman #south park cartman #cartman south park #cupid cartman #sp eric cartman #eric cartman headcanons

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gabrielora · 3 months

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South Park head-canons:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show was Cartmans childhood movie. His mom was on some pretty heavy drugs when he was 5-6 years old so she didn’t care much about what he was watching, this also further set them back into poverty so the only movies Cartman had at home were some VHS tapes and CDs Liane had from her childhood or her early 20’s. One of these CDs is The Rocky Horror Picture show. He ends up showing Kenny the Rocky Horror picture show when they’re both around 7, and then the rocky horror virus spread across their friend groups by the time they’re all teens.

#south park #southpark #eric cartman #text post #south park headcanons #south park hcs #Eric Cartman headcanons #Eric Cartman hcs #kenny mccormick #kenman #(??)

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richierambles · 2 months

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If you were Eric Cartman but had to use another name which one would you use

This is for the plural cartman au so pls don't say Hitler 💀

Just give me first names that fit him idk

I'm just running out of ideas 💀💀💀

#any suggestions are welcome no matter how batshit they are #because otherwise imma go look at the fucking baby name pages #and how would cartman feel about that huh???#join my plural cartman agenda >:3 #plural system #pluralgang #sysblr #plural stuff #plural hcs #plural headcanons #sp eric cartman #eric cartman #eric cartman headcanons #south park hcs #south park headcanons #eric cartman hcs #south park #plurality #multiplicity

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dollyyss · 6 months

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can you please do headcanons of what it would be like dating the main five boys?

Yes yes yes a million times yes

I’m sleepy, I promise I’ll edit this if needed tomorrow.

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙄𝙏𝙎 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙈𝘼𝙄𝙉 𝙁𝙊𝙐𝙍 + 𝘽𝙐𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎

𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 ₊ ⊹

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥! 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐‧₊˚✩彡

𝙆𝙮𝙡𝙚, 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣, 𝙆𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙮, 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘽𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨𐙚

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight talk of nsfw in Kenny’s part!

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐

- he’s dominate. But.. not in just that sense. I mean he takes care of you. Willingly. He’s constantly walking you to class, brining extra things for you because he knows you forget, so he has those extra pencils for you, notebooks. When the two of you walk side by side and he notices your shoe lace is untied he stops you immediately to bend down to tie it right back up. When you’re tired.. your in his arms immediately being led back to his car to take you back home. He’ll feed you sometimes. He just loves you, he wants to take care of you in every aspect.

- he’s gentle, he ensures that his communication with you is always considerate and kind. He listens attentively, acknowledges your viewpoint, and refrains from speaking harshly or being dismissive. Kyle shows genuine empathy towards your feelings, needs, and experiences. He puts himself in your shoes, tries to grasp your perspectives, and offers comfort and support to you whenever you need it. He is patient and willing to listen without judgment.

- Kyle understands the importance of physical touch for intimacy and affection. He engages in gentle caresses, hugs, and kisses, always being mindful of your comfort and boundaries. He enjoys being able to cradle you safely in your arms, express to you how much he loves you, how he’d always be there.

- and with physical touch, comes emotional support. Kyle is supportive and nurturing towards your emotional well-being. He is sensitive to your emotional state and offers comfort, reassurance, and a safe space for vulnerability. He provides comfort, validation, and understanding when you need it the most.

- Kyle creates a safe and secure environment for you quite often. both physically and emotionally. He ensures that you feel protected, comfortable, and free from any harm or judgment. His gentle and caring presence gives you a sense of peace.. a sense of home..

Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ

- I believe Stan.. is so supportive of you. He doesn’t believe he can truly make it far considering what he’s done with himself due to alcohol.. self loathing.. not being able to build what he wanted for himself so when he sees you achieve the things you’ve always wanted he’s cheering you on. He’s always the one to come up to you after a speech, squeezing you tight against him and whispering about how proud he is of you. He’s the one to bring you flowers, exchanging kisses to show you how amazing you were. In his eyes. You’re his role model.

- he’s committed to you. He’s had his heart broken far too many times by one person.. so when he finally finds you.. and you treat him the way he’s always wanted to be treated, show him the love he deserves.. there is nothing stopping that heart from grasping for you. Longing for you.

- though Stan loves to be around you consistently, wants to do anything and everything for you, he also understands Independency, individuality. He understands that maybe you don’t always wants to do something, or be around and that’s okay. He gets it.. he may be a little sad but he understands that sometimes having a me day is completely okay. Expect him to text you back immediately when you message him. He’s missed you :((

- he’s not THE greatest with his emotions, he’s still trying to figure his out most of the time but he will always stop to listen to you. No matter what it is.

Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉

- Kenny is quite sexual, so your Reltionship is bound to be quite sexually. But he knows boundaries. And he knows when no means no. Sure he’s got quite the sex drive but he would never push you to do anything you never wanted to. This goes for anything really, he hates the idea of forcing you to do absolutely anything, he likes to know you may actually want to do something because you want to do it. Not because you’re just agreeing with him.

- he will give you space when you need it. He can be quite clingy at times but that’s because he’s just genuinely happy to be around you, so at times he can understand needing some space.

- he’s so understanding. Anything you come to him about, he’s all ears, listening and asking wether you need him to do something about, to stay the night with you. Anything. He’ll do it. He’s good at telling when something is wrong, even if you try to hide it and you hide it well. He’ll know. And he’s probably one of the best to go to…. He’ll even fuck you silly to get your mind off of things. But- in all seriousness. He genuinely does give you really good advice, advice you can take and actually go by, he cares.

- he’s so goofy. He’s always willing to do anything to put that sweet smile on your face. Whether it be to embarrass himself in front of a shit ton of people, or alone and he makes the stupidest inappropriate jokes. When he hears you laugh he’s laughing himself, smiling at you lovingly.

- he’s so protective it’s not funny. I’m talking, he beat the fuck out of someone once for even just slightly hurting you.

Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°

- I hate him. And he’s an awful fucking person but.. with the right person.. I feel like he could be changed. Maybe not entirely but he would change.

- he starts a lot of arguments. Even though he says it wasn’t even him… it was. It’s over stupid shit to, like I’m talking over food, where he gets to sit somewhere, where you guys go. He’s so fucking petty it’s ridiculous.

- butttt.. with this he does make up for it. He doesss feel just a littleeee bad for making you so upset so majority of the time he’ll bribe you with food.. or rarely a warm hug.

- he’s quite a good person to cuddle. He’s warm, he’s got some squish so there’s enough to snuggle into and fall asleep. When you’re asleep.. he’s cooing at you, not understanding how someone like you could put up with him.

- he can be.. childish but he loves when you laugh with him, when he realizes something he’s said as made you laugh? You better believe he’s doing it continuously, like Kenny he actually really likes see you laugh especially if it’s because of him. It boosts his ego oops.

Butters ˚☆🐈*๑

- he’s like Kyle. He likes taking care of you. He likes taking you on dates, spoiling you with his allowance money.. even if it does get him grounded he doesn’t care. Your his, he has to spoil you.

- he’s such a kissy boy. He’s kissing you almost Antrim he lays his eyes on you, while your studying, grabbing a drink, coming straight out of the bathroom. He’s there. Baby just wants a kiss.

- he’s such a fucking sweetheart. He’s never really truly gotten angry at you, yelled at you, nothing. He’s so caring when it comes to you. He knows to take his time with you, to understand what’s too far and what’s just right. He gets what’s too much for you and what calms you down. He knows you like the back of his hand.

- he’s also extremely overprotective. It’s rare to see butters lose his temper but when it comes to you, he’ll yell like he’s never yelled before. I’m sure he’d also beat someone up if he could, and he knew he could. He hates seeing you hurt, at times he cries himself, but other times he’s so angered by others actions towards you he’s more worried about showing them how pissed he is.

- you always have his attention. You always have him. If someone online talks to him and is making you even slightly uncomfortable.. he’s blocking them at just their name leaving your lips. He’s ignoring anybody who seems even slightly interested. He’s got his eyes on you. And you only.

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buttfrovski · 2 months

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the breast cancer show ever:

#south park #eric cartman #wendy testaburger #i'm not sure if i actually hc as this but this is for the meme

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viveela · 11 months

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My vision for the main 4 as teens... just hear me out

Everyone has to have a breakdown and dye their hair at some point amiright

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hunnysnoops · 1 month

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Main Three + Craig with morbid/odd reader

“I want love to change my friends to enemies and tell me how it’s all my fault.”

Stan:

He lets you draw on him but instead of doodling you take a black marker and start to meticulously draw dotted lines and arrows like you’re a surgeon prepping him for cosmetic surgery.

While helping him with farm chores you go into detail about how you can compost and break down a corpse in soil, he just kinda nods along.

You give him tarot readings every week. He thought they were fake and just did it to entertain you until his week played out exactly like you said it would. When he realized he just froze up and went non verbal.

Stan- “Hey, do you have any spells to curse my dad?”

Met him when he was in his goth era.

The two of you were having a moment in the rain when you told him that he should’ve worn shoes with rubber soles in case he gets struck by lightning.

You started writing his eulogy when you were laying in bed together, bro was trying not to freak out. Just spam texted Kyle.

You’re date idea is taking him to an abandoned house.

You guys bonded over music. Now you help him write songs since you’re so used to writing poetry.

Reader- “You’re into music?”

Stan- “Yeah, I guess so.”

Reader- “Have you heard Carnival of the Animals, R. 125: Aquarium composed by Camille Saint-Saëns and performed by Philippe Entremont, Gaby Casadesus, and Yo-Yo Ma?”

Stan- “Can’t say I have.”

Kyle:

Has veiny arms so when the two of you are just chilling you’ll put your finger on one of the veins and start talking about what would happen if you severed it. He’s lowkey interested from a scientific standpoint.

You’ll straddle his hips and pull his lips back to look at his teeth, poking around in his mouth like a dentist. You’re inches apart.

Reader- “Wow, you have beautiful teeth.”

Kyle- “Thank you?”

He’s kinda fascinated by you but also repulsed by some of the things you do/say.

He came to your house and you were butchering your own meat, left right away.

You listen to The Cure together.

When you climb trees to look for birds and squirrels he’ll climb too to help you.

Will get mad annoyed after listening to you say incredibly out of pocket things while he’s trying to focus on something.

He’ll buy you little knickknacks that remind him of you.

Before he got to know you, he talked mad shit.

Sometimes gets super freaked out by your behaviour, you straight up give him the heebie-jeebies.

Reader- “So this is my collection of human teeth.”

Kyle- “All of those are yours, right?”

Reader- “Actually, none of them are mine.” 😁

Kyle- 😨

Kenny:

Sits through horror movies and weird foreign films with you. He didn’t like it at first but he came around and started sourcing out movies he’d think you like.

You took him to a Wicca ceremony and he had the time of his life.

You taught him how to make flower crowns and now he makes them all the time. He likes to give them to Karen.

When he sees something off-putting or creepy he will immediately take a picture and send it to you.

Reader- “Hey, it’s raining. Do you want to go look for earth worms and build a worm colosseum?”

Kenny- “Hell yeah.”

He likes to go for walks in the forest with you, you guys will look for bugs and pick them up or make them houses of leaves and twigs.

He’ll help you wash the skulls/bones you find.

Never really minded that you were weird, he approached you first because he thought you were hot.

He loves when you play with his hair and tie little braids into it.

You guys tried to recreate The Blair Witch Project but failed miserably when you actually got lost in the woods.

You’ll meet up at the graveyard and just sit in the grass while you talk about ghosts and ghouls. Sometimes you’ll walk around and stop at a specific grave and guess how they died.

Reader- “Would you rather be in Cannibal Holocaust or The Poughkeepsie Tapes?”

Kenny- “Erm, I gotta pick The Poughkeepsie Tapes.”

Craig:

Generally goes along with whatever you want to do.

Reader- “Can we go down to the riverbank to pickup fish heads and then eat out their eyes?”

Craig- “Yeah, sure.”

He’ll just watch you roll around in the mud or set little twig piles on fire, he won’t join in but he also won’t interfere.

You’ll talk to Stripe, not in the baby voice that people usually use to talk to animals but your tone will be dead serious like you’re talking to a grown adult.

The two of you will watch true crime documentaries together.

He’ll fuck up anyone who calls you weird or a freak.

When you’re out in public, you’ll point someone out and predict how they’re going to die.

There’s nothing you can do that’ll shock him, he’s unfazed by everything that you say.

Sometimes gets concerned with you around Stripe.

You’ll disappear for hours at a time and he’ll get worried, sending you a million texts then you’ll randomly show up at his door soaking wet or covered in dirt with no warning.

Craig- “Where have you been? You weren’t answering my texts.”

Reader- “I was meeting with a friend of mine who is alive.”

Craig- “Oh, that’s cool.”

Requests are open! I’m working through a couple right now. Thanks to the anon who requested this.

#kyle broflovski #kyle south park #south park #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #south park x reader #south park x y/n #stan marsh #craig tucker #sp craig #craig tucker x reader #stan marsh x reader #kenny mcormick x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #sp kyle #south park hcs #south park headcanons

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garb-rage · 10 months

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Going Thrift Shopping with the main 4 (Hcs)

🛼- Summary - Head cannons about your experience thrift shopping with the boys!

- Pairing(s)- (SEPARATE) Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, and Eric Cartman x gn!Reader

🛼- Reader info - gn!reader and established relationship

- Warnings - none! (Unless you count swearing ig lmao)

………………………………………………………

🐀 - Kenny McCormick -

He’s so down, he’s SEEN all the ice cold shit you’ve found, and wants in on the action asap

Kenny had known about thrifting for a while, but hadn’t put too much thought into it due to money being tight and all, but according to YOU

“You just have to know where to look”

“Trust me I know a spot” “trust me this is where the heat is”

And trust you he did, because after taking him to some fun spots, there was no going back.

Thrifting buddy 24/7, just LOVES looking at the old clothes and pretending to be an old geezer with you, it makes him giggle

Fr makes up stories about shit he finds, probably forced you to wear it and purposely make you feel silly

“THIS old sweater was worn in the trenches of Mexico alongside my great great grandpa” 💀💀 and it’s a Star Wars T-shirt

Purposely finds good and bad clothes for you and him (he has pretty good fashion sense so you KNOW when hes got a shit eating grin)

If the shop has changing rooms, expect long ass fashion shows, the man spends WAY too much time looking at himself. He probably won’t even buy anything 98% of the time!! He’s just having fun with you!

Honestly, neither of you fucking knew that South Park had so many little shops like that!! Small towns DECEIVE!

The both of you almost always get coffee after a haul, it just feels right

And showing up to Tweek Bros. In the new shirt/sweater/etc, he feels like royalty ngl

Overall Kenny really enjoys the time spent with you, and the small moments between showing each other items or clothes really makes him feel momentarily flushed (he sees this sparkle in your eyes and he can’t help but melt)

Probably calls you a Cougar if you’re wearing something he deems “old” smh 😔

Also expect lots of “this reminded me of you”s and its the ugliest t-shirt you’ve ever seen

🧤 - Kyle Broflovski -

Ok he probably didn’t understand it at first and got kind of worried like

Is this your last resort 😔😔 he wouldn’t mind getting you something nice if you wanted 😔😔😔

You had to explain its a THING for you, like, it’s fun and you can find some pretty cool and cute things if you look hard enough!

Whatever, he wants to join in order to understand, and he surprisingly has good luck with good finds?? You’ll definitely force him to try at least ONE thing

Listen. This boy dresses himself like his mom still picks out his clothes ok. Button-ups, polos, nice jackets, Kyle’s a smartass and he wants to dress the part (😍) so for some reason it’s SO new to him, and he’s worried he’ll find something stupid and he won’t even know

Just wants your approval (he’s a sweaty nerd)

SURPRISINGLY, FINDS THE COOLEST THINGS! EVERY TIME!

Ok not every time but the matching old ass Terrance And Phillip shirts are a huge flex to him so hes happy

You’ll probably buy most of the things he shows you (they become your favorite and you wear them constantly)

Kyle and you are the same.like. “Oh this? Kyle found this necklace when we went thrifting together 🙄🙄”

And he’s constantly letting everyone know “Yeah this is a 1986 original Terrance And Phillip T-shirt matching with my partner 🙄🙄”

Everyone’s sick of it

You’ll go home with him after thrifting and Ike will TOTALLY make fun of you guys

Kyle, poor boy so In love, gets extremely giddy when you’re wearing something he found for you (blushing mess tbh)

Melts even more when you get some old stuffed animal for Ike and Ike ends up ADORING it (bonus brownie points from Sheila and Gerald)

He still doesn’t understand the whole thrift thing, I mean, newer clothes just last longer and fit his style more!! What!!

He enjoys going with you anyways and lovingly watches you get excited over small things like that <3

🎸 - Stan Marsh -

Crazy not so crazy, he’s actually gone a few times, really likes it too if it’s a good day

This, of course, makes you SUPER happy and you’re instantly dragging him to every spot South Park has

When he was with the goth kids, he remembered them talking about it, tried it for himself and was slightly obsessed for a bit

Indifferent about most of it, just likes going for the old band shirts or something with a funny graphic on it

Maybe a jacket or two as well

ACTUALLY he goes insane if there’s a cool looking varsity jacket or some jerseys yet to be worn

Although,,,,,,he has the worst luck with everything he cannot find anything good or something he likes,,,,

It’s either got shit stains or beer stains or god forbid SHARPIE or PAINT like WHY are these here

You gotta step in and hand him some of your luck, he wants his punk rock t-shirts or whatever 🙄 (he’s eternally grateful)

Thinks you look super cute in anything you’ve found, but gets slightly impatient if you’re taking too long in a dressing room or looking In the same section for too long

If there’s a certain band shirt you’re both looking for? He’s going to the ends of the earth (Just in South Park) to find it for you

Naturally, you’ll both have a blast just talking about where things have come from or chuckling over something funny looking

You’ll dress each other up in jackets too big for each other, it’s sweet and innocent 😭😭✊

Shelley caught wind of you two going thrifting every so often, she’ll kick out Stan and just wanna go with you 💀💀

Spoiler alert Shelley has TOO much fun with you and it becomes a thing (much to Stan’s dismay)

You’ll MOST LIKELY find stupid shit with her and constantly “hahaha Stan would look fucking STUPID in this”

“I know right!!”

Randy saw you wearing something you had found with Stan, thought it was Sharon’s for a while and was super confused 🤨🤨🤨

Overall, super fun chill time with the Marsh boy you love him, go get Ice cream with him after a haul ✊✊

🦝 - Eric Cartman -

“What the fuck are you wearing”

“It’s a cardigan I found doesn’t it look good!”

“Found where 💀💀💀”

ALSO DIDNT understand it and probably heard “shoplifting” instead of the former

You have to FORCE him to join you tbh and he suggested robbing Stan’s mom would get the job done faster, whatever

Pretends to be SUUUUPER bored and uninterested, like ugh he’s shopping? Says it’s totally gay

(SECRETLY LOVES SEEING YOU HAPPY 🥶)

Probably wouldn’t look around, just tag along while pretending to hate the entire experience (you know he doesn’t, you see his eyes go towards cool looking things in the shops)

Gets pretty impatient if he’s somewhere for too long, unless you REALLY beg him and find something that “meets his standards”

HATED thrifting until you found him a shirt without sleeves, looked corny as hell, had some bootleg graphic and inspirational quote and shit

Eric FELL IN LOVE WITH IT 😭😭 it showed off his muscles of course

You just HAD to get it for him, doesn’t stop wearing it, claims he found it until you give him the side eye

“We found it together 😍🙏”

“🤨”

You won’t go as often with him, but when you do (and when he’s not bitching about how boring it is), it’s actually a really fun time and he’ll make you crack tf up with snarky comments about things

He’s rude-funny and you are in love with it, especially when it’s towards something you like, you KNOW he doesn’t mean that bs towards you

Liane just HAD to mention that thrifting gets quite a lot of business in South Park, his con-man instincts went wild

Eric just wanted to start a business with you!! Resell items and clothes as if they were worth it! (They are not) fake stories galore!

Stop him before it’s too late please

DAMN WRITING FOR THEM HIS DIFFICULT, HOPE ITS IN CHARACTER, FIRST POST YALL 💀🙏

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kwnnys · 1 year

Text

— main 4 fasting for the first time!

hcs : g/n reader a/n : for my muslim brothers nd sisters 🙏🙏 reader is muslim and asks the boys to try fasting w them for ramadan :D

— stan marsh

quite intrigued when you first bring it up, also pretty hesitant to try it

"wait so like- no food or water? for a whole day? are you sure I wont die..."

but with a little bit convincing, stan will eventually agree!

he starts off strong and confident 💪 bragging to the group and telling them all about fasting

but that confidence slowly dies as the hours pass... and poor boy gets so tired

he knows you said that while fasting that you should be as productive as possible, but hes just so tired and drowsy he cant help it 😭

he tries to play basketball with his friends, or even doing his homework. but he just can't focus on anything

he ends up sleeping the rest of the day till iftar

he apologizes and feels so bad 😓, but you tell him its fine since its his first time

I dont' think he'd do it again the next day or anytime soon, but maybe give it a few years and he might be able to fast all 30 days :D

— kyle broflovski

like stan also very intrigued and curious

he'll ask you alot of questions and take a few notes, before ultimately agreeing

hes a little nervous at first, but you manage to ease him with some words of affirmation!

tries to just distract himself for the whole day. studying, chores, video games, etc.

he doesn't make a big deal about it, but is definitely suffering on the inside

tbh the hardest part for him isn't the actual fasting, but not being able to swear or be mad (especially considering kyle has a short temper) 💀

cartman definitley takes advantage of this and calls him every name in the book. also purposely eats infront of him.

"hey stupid jew. look what I've got, a chocolate cake. you want some? oh wait, YOU CANT!" "...I swear to god cartman."

almost broke his fast cause of him. 😭

but anyways, he manages to successfully finish his fast!

he would do it again, maybe in a few days if you asked.

— eric cartman

when you first tell him about fasting and ramadan, he'll literally be SO flabberghasted.

"wait wait wait, so you're telling me you can't EAT or even drink WATER for 30 days? you trying to get me killed or something?"

it'll take alot of convincing to get him to fast with you

alooot of convincing.

but when he eventually agrees, he will be SO dramatic about it and overexaggerates everything

"oh my god, I think Im dying. tell kyel.. I hope he gets cancer.."

refuses to go to school or even get out his room

liane gets very concerned about him, and'll constantly ask you if he'll be okay and won't die

you assure her that its completely fine, especially considering he ate almost half the fridge during suhoor.

he talks to his stuffed animals to try and cope.

tried to secretly eat a piece of candy while you weren't looking 💀you'll have to keep a close eye on him if you want him to actually finish his fast.

he'll definitely hold a grudge against you the whole day and refuse to talk to you.

but don't worry, you make it up to him by taking him to kfc for iftar 😋

bro literally ordered half the menu and gobbled everything up in a matter of minutes.

safe to say he won't be fasting again anytime soon. or ever again,

— kenny mccormick

the only one in the group who manages to fast with little to no problem

kenny doesn't usually eat much food anyway, so hes all down

the hardest part for him is not being able to have 'dirty' thoughts or look at porno magazines 💀

the guys probably don't even notice that kennys fasting since they know kenny usually eat till you or he brings it up

cartman also takes advantage of this and tries to get him to break his fast with money. (which fails cause you're there to shut him off)

doesn't really have a change in his routine or life, he just does what he normally does

you're surprised by how easy hes taking it tbh

when its time for iftar, you decide to invite him over your house to eat :D

hes shocked at all the food you had prepared by you and your parents, and extremely grateful too

that day he had the biggest meal for the first time in probably a few years 😭

definitely took home some leftovers after for his family.

overall he'd definitely wouldn't mind doing it again! especially if it means being able to go to your house to eat again.

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stimtfil · 8 days

Text

thinking about elf kyle too much.... he is the prettiest thing in the whole world i CAN'T be cool about it.... (neither can eric)

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h-harleybaby · 1 year

Note

OK UHH either a oneshot of beating wrestler cartmans ass OR waking up in the morning w adult cartman n s just rlly rlly sweet n fluffy n stuff :3 [also a oneshot + gn reader + an already established relationship 4 both pretty please !!!!!!!!]

Waking up in the morning with Cartman <3

I mean I’ll try my best but I don’t really like writing beating up people ig??? Head over to @cartmankisser she lives for that shit 💀

• Waking up with Cartman is something, I’ll give you that

• If you wake up before him, expect some snoring and having a death grip on you if that night he went to sleep wanting to cuddle

• If you have to leave somewhere he definitely tries to get you to call in sick and cuddle you. In the morning he just wants to cuddle <333

• If you insist on going but say you’ll stay a lil longer he’ll probably lay on you

• Like straight up lay on you, almost your entire body is pinned while he lays on your chest. Or he has his arms around your arms so you can’t move while he rubs his cheek against you like a cat 💀

• Don’t ever mention what he does in the morning because he’ll deny it like it’s his job and probably gaslight you

• He enjoys his mornings with you tho, it feels weird to not have you next to him or under him- or on top of him

• He moves a lot during his sleep and it makes you move a lot so sometimes you end up in completely different positions in the morning

• One time you woke up with him laying vertically on top you, you were so fucking confused

• Sleeping with him is fun tho, but Jesus Christ his morning breath is HORRIBLE

• When he tries to kiss you in the morning and you lean away??? He gets so salty- is definitely gonna be moping all morning

• If you give him a bunch of kisses, whether on the lips or just everywhere, he’ll probably forget about it/forgive you

I WAS WRITING THIS NEXT TO MY FRIEND AND HE ASKED WHAT I WAS WRITING AND I WAS LIKE “WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT”

#south park x reader #eric cartman x reader #cartman x reader #h harleybaby needs help #Eric Cartman hcs #Harley’s anons <33 #harley’s requests!

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gabrielora · 23 days

Text

MINI CARTMAN MUSIC HEADCANNON RANT!!!

I have seen absolutely NO ONE point out the fact Cartmans CANONLY a fan of PROG rock. His cannon favorite song (as shown on the chef aid album) is “Come sail away” by Styx. That is a very proggy song and band. cartman also likes the band Asia (Asia is a progressive rock SUPERGROUP. I mean they got people from King Crimson, YES, Emerson and lake Palmer, and bugles.) This kid is constantly making refferences to PROG rock. Yes he likes pop music, but he also loves rock. Another example is that He likes journey. the reason I mention this later and mention this at all is the fact journey used to be a PROG rock band (I’m sorry for the capital prog my iPad autocorrected it to that for some reason) but later on they became a more commercial rock band. So yes he mostly listens to pop, but his music taste isn’t JUST modern pop songs. He likes older pop, and the rock he prefers is REALLY older rock. (50s-70s.) I know it’s probably just because I’m aggressively autistic but why am I the only one I’ve seen to point this out??

#south park #southpark #eric cartman #eric cartman headcanons #eric cartman hcs #south park hcs

0 notes

richierambles · 26 days

Text

Cartman's system: headmate list 2.0

Been thinking thoughts idk

This list would be their alters when their body's 15yo (sorry it's long I might make a shorter one later-)

Thanks to @mischieviousmusic and @everythingwasnormalhere for standing my infodumping about this au XD

Littles:

Anne:

6 yo

She/her

Loves playing tea party (main fronter during it)

When it's the other littles playing, she mainly roleplays as the Polly Prissipants doll

Sometimes cofronts when they're at class, but isn't allowed to talk to their classmates

Almost always at cofront when Love's fronting

After they come out, she's closest to Stan and Butters

They're not out to Karen, but Anne's spent time with her too

Whenever she talks to Kenny she asks him how she's doing<3

Ginger in headspace (it felt important to mention this don't ask why)

Finn:

8yo

He/him

Main fronter almost all the time they're playing

Roleplays as most of the other toys when they're playing tea party though

Loves playing cowboys

Frienemies with Artemis, they'll either hate each other or be best friends all the time

After they come out, he's closest to Kenny (but will much rather hang out with his sysmates)

Looks and acts like a Typical White Boy™

Artemis:

5yo

He/they

Introjected from Artemis Clyde Frog (the stuffed animal), but lost almost all his connection to it since the day it died (and exclusively goes by Artemis, hates his other names)

Roleplays himself when playing with the other syskids, never a main fronter while playing

Spent a long while (2-3 years) dormant, only came back after they came out, one day when the system was hanging out with their friends

The gang were all like "wtf who's this idk this alter-" but finally figured it out (mainly Kyle did)

SUPER close to Kyle

Actually whenever Artemis fronts they'll text Kyle first thing no matter what

Also close-ish to Butters

Has dark skin in the innerworld, his iw appearance is human but he always wears a frog hat

Hosts:

Sam:

15yo

he/him

The meaner, stronger Cartman

Is also a protector besides a host

Split from Collins on the Kenny Dies episode

He's the one who used fetuses to built the pizza place because otherwise the guys would've thought he was weak (his thought process is fucking crazy)

One of the few alters who remembers Kenny's deaths

He also knows there's something weird going on in their brain, but has no idea what

Used to cleaning up after everyone else's messes (like acting as if Jenni was Mitch Conners and as if all the Henniffer Lopez thing was just a joke (which backfired so bad...))

After they come out, he hangs out with everyone the same way they always do

Insys, he's trying to get close to 8

^ completely idolatrizes Hitler

Huge on the antisemitism (and general bigotry tbh)

Collins:

14yo

he/him

Split from Sam on the Kenny dies episode

He did want to use the fetuses to save Kenny, and he does consider Kenny his best friend

But he switched out when they got the news Kenny was dead (he was unable to cope with that) and so that's why Sam did what he did

Acts much more like a normal kid than Sam

Actually he's pretty normal for South Park standards

After they come out, he's best friends with Kenny but still friends with the rest of the gang as usual

Not as bad as Sam but definitely not good either

Kyle doesn't hate him as much as he hates Sam (but he'd never say this)

Cartman-sonas (idk how else to call this category):

Irick:

120yo

he/him

Grand Wizard King

Gatekeeper

Fronts mainly while playing SoT (but not every time they do)

Definitely their most responsible alter

^ the others often ask him for advice and stuff

Mildly connected to source

The first time he fronted it was during a SoT game, he found all of it normal (his memories are of the SoT universe) but when they stopped playing he was so weirded out by everything since he's used to a fantasy world

"Cartman stop rping we finished 2 hours ago" "who trapped those guys inside that box 😰" (they were watching TV 💀)

Now (after they came out) they don't play SoT as much, so he only takes full control on special occasions or when Kenny is on a Princess shift (otherkin Kenny 💯)

Only actually close to Kenny because of that, doesn't talk much to anyone else

Grim:

18yo

it/raccoon neos/he

The Coon

Physical protector

Formed because of Cartman's hero persona, but that was long before they started going out as The Coon (they made the first concept for that sona when they were around 4-5yo)

But one day it fronted and decided why not go out fight crime

The others didn't know about this at first

They just knew they had a weird fixation on that "Coon" hero (which, they didn't know where they saw him either but wtv)

But one day Sam decided to go out as Coon (in a rp manner) and found he looked exactly like him

Grim fronted in the middle of it and yk Coon'd for a bit

And Sam did remember that time

So what made more sense is that he'd been The Coon since the beginning

(which wasn't exactly a lie-)

After their syscovery, they assumed Grim formed after they started going out as The Coon

Grim has never confirmed nor denied this

Every single time Kenny's in his Mysterion shift fur gets yeeted to front just so they can argue for a while 💀

Talks to pretty much all the gang but mainly Mysterion'd Kenny

Gets called a furry 24/7 by both his headmates and Kenny (and the rest of the gang sometimes, not as much tho). He fucking hates it.

Adrian:

16yo

he/him

S3xual protector

Metrosexual Cartman

But he's a full-on homosexual

Cartman's metrosexual phase lasted longer than anyone else's because "it's not a phase mom it's who I am 🙄💅"

It was a phase for everyone but Adrian

He's still in that phase

Has hooked up with half the system and even a couple guys out of it

Nothing serious though

Before they came out he respected Cartman's image and didn't flirt with their friends, but after they did there's not a conversation in which he's not telling them the gayest most explicit shit ever

The gang are between confidence boost and absolute utter cringe fucking kill me pls

Theodore:

17yo

he/him

Persecutor (misguided protector) + academic

Formed during Tsst, he's the nice submissive version of Cartman

Would let basically anyone boss him around

Good intentions all the time

Won't do anything bad on purpose

All his submissiveness has gotten them in trouble though

To the point the others try to avoid him fronting as much as they can

He switched in when they were going to kill Liane though, that's good

Goes exclusively by Theodore, some people have tried to call him Theo but he hates that

After they come out, the gang are kinda uncomfortable with him, but Butters warms up to him eventually

(the reason why they're uncomfortable is because Theodore has such a Not Cartman way to act, and also because he's kinda really fucking lame)

(also a bit because Sam has told them all about the times Theodore has messed up)

Sunny/Love

Ageless

love-related neos

Cupid Me

S3xual protector

Hypersexual

When heart's at front, heart'll flirt with Kyle so much it's insane

Is it because fluff's in love with him? Is it because fluff ships kyman? Is it because of a secret third reason? Who knows

Btw everyone else (/sys) was so confused about it at first, like, "...wdym I was acting weird yesterday? I was flirting with you?? And calling you Ky-boo??? Good one dude but quit the bullshit I never did that"

Then when they had the syscovery nobody associated that with some alter doing it

Until a few months after they came out Kyle connected the dots and almost instantly told Sam (who was so pissed off at Sunny 😭)

Love's mostly close to the girls (Nichole, Bebe, even Wendy), but a lot closer to Collins and Anne

Also 💘's never stopped flirting with Kyle, and will never stop (slay)

Introjects:

Eight/8/H:

56yo

he/him

Hitler factive, really connected to source

Protector + Prosecutor

Formed soon after they learnt about Hitler's existence

Fronts at times in which they have to act commanding, such as The Passion Of The Jew or Ginger Kids

Also fronted during some of Tsst, and was who planned (and tried) to kill Liane

After they came out, he didn't front much in front of their friends (he found them lame)

But one day something Bad happened when they woke up and he got triggered to front, so he had to go to school

When the gang noticed he was acting different, they asked who he was

Well, Kyle did, but Eight refused to answer

Stan asked again and H told them his name was Adolf Hitler

Kyle refused to even look at him the rest of that day (and rightfully so)

When someone else switched in, Kyle told them that if 8 didn't at least change his name he'd never talk to any of them ever again, so that's why he goes by Eight/8/H (that was the most he'd accept to change it)

When he's at front (not often) Kyle has to resist the urge to beat him up (he doesn't wanna hurt some of the others), but to find them both in the same room is practically imposible

Jenni:

25yo

she/her

Jenniffer Lopez fictive

Talks in spanish sometimes, it's horribly incorrect but she doesn't care

She's the one who does most of the drag

Also the other one (besides Adrian) who hooks up with random guys

She's mostly at cofront rather than full front (talking with the hand because it "looks less weird"), but she's been at full front sometimes too :3

Fucking hates Mitch

After they come out, she hangs out with Bebe sometimes (but not really too often, she'll much rather go with celebrities)

Mitch Conner:

31yo

they/he

Sam first made him up so he could "get rid of" Jenni without looking too insane

But then they actually split

Jenni and Mitch fucking hate each other, Jenni because he steals her identity and Mitch because he thinks she's annoying

Whenever they front they'll find out everything they can about the other alters (and everyone in general) just so they can get stuff from them later

Kyle is so annoyed by his existence for some reason

Other (idk where else to put her soo):

Mae:

21yo

she/her

Persecutor

Originally split when they were a little kid (3-5), to take care of them when Liane didn't (she was kinda neglectful back then)

Also to have them grow up in a hopefully healthier environment

But she started obsessing over growing up and maturing to the point she actually made them unsafe

Such as in 1%, when she mutilated their stuffed animals and almost killed them (by burning down their house) in the process

Now she almost never fronts, and only Irick knows where she is and is allowed to talk to her

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dollyyss · 6 months

Note

I FELL INLOVE WITH THE KYLE FIC OMG??? OK OK WHAT ABOUT THIS.

the main gang with an S/O that is like, VERY VERY SNUG/TIGHT, like unnaturally tight (but not negatively ;)). Also a virgin, like the biggest virgin out there, completely oblivious to stuff like that and super sensitive to touch in general, talking just a graze of fingertips might gain a small whine. I'm thinking maybe a correct adjective for this would be just the classic virgin reader + the things listed. AAAAA FEEL FREE TO DO THIS DEPENDING ON HOW YOU HAVE ENERGY I KNOW UR SICK😭🙏

-🃏

..sigh you just love to do things to my brain don’t you anon.. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME- NEOCIE IM GONNA GO FERAL RAWR RAWR RAWR jk I’m such a sweet girl, I’m an angel I would never. Tehehe. And I’m sick so I’m an even more touchy just brain melty mood.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Kyle’s gang + butters with virgin reader!

Established relationship ₊ ⊹

All characters are aged up! Highschool AU! ‧₊˚✩彡

Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman and butters 𐙚

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut/ NSFW, some degrading

Kyle 🐇𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒🪐

“Just like that holy fuck.. you’re so good for me.” Kyle let out a low moan, his head leaned far into his pillow whilst you slowly rode him. “That’s it baby, slowly, don’t look away, keep looking at me, that’s it. Keep watching me baby” his hands held either side of your face in an attempt to keep you with him, to keep you from looking away from him. Your legs shook on either side of his waist, your hands covering your face as you helplessly rutted against Kyle. You practically sucked him in earning groans and whimpers from the lanky gingers lips. “Fuck you’re tight.” He couldn’t hold back anymore, not with the way you gripped so tightly around him, not when he was trying to pull out to slam back in. No you gripped so tight he couldn’t even pull out. It was enough for him to grip onto the sides of your face harder, pulling you down so your forehead rested on his and he snapped his hips up into a ruthless pace.

- He’s a sweet boyfriend. He’s just a sweet guy in general. So when you tell him you’re a virgin he of course would never ever judge you for it.

-what he didn’t know was everything he did could basically make you drip on the spot, and majority of the time it’s shit he doesn’t even think of. He’s sitting with you in a restaurant with Stan and the rest, he softly touches your thigh, opening it to drag you closer to him. He doesn’t think a thing of it until you let out a squeak. Everyone raises their brows, Kyle looking at you when he feels your thighs squeezing his hand. Ahh.. you were sensitive too.

-“have you.. ever touched yourself..?” He asks curiously before feeling you shove his shoulder “Kyle broflovski!” “What? Sorry, I’m sorry. I just. Wanted to know” there was silence before you slowly nodded. He thought for a moment “has anyone else ever touched you?” He questioned again, watching as you shook your head side to side looking at him with big doe eyes. Your hands placed between your thighs. He softly bit his bottom lip, watching your body gently rock back and forth at the thought “do you.. want to be touched?” He slowly scoots closer to you, watching as you slowly lay back on his parents couch, his hands coming to tease the hem of your pants.

-he goes so god damn dumb when you grip him. He doesn’t know how to act. It’s like his brain shuts off and he goes into auto pilot. He’s usually gentle but fuck when he feels you grip so tightly, tight enough that you can feel almost every curve and vein littering his cock, he’s biting your shoulders and slamming into you. He’s swearing, panting. He’s so fuck drunk he doesn’t know what to do.

Stan .° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ

Panting. He’s a panting mess. He tries to form words but he’s so focused on trying to find a deeper angle, trying so desperately to feel you tighten even more then you already were. Your finger nails dig into his raven locks watching as your feet bounce due to your legs being locked around his waist. He was slightly hunched over, his hands on your ass to lift the bottom half of your body off your bed by a couple centimetres, his face buried in your hair while he lets out pleasurable grunts. “Stan!” Your lips spewing his name made him open his watery eyes, lips immediately coming to your ear. “I know, I know. I’m right here.” His hips snap as he slowly sits up, his member pulling out but with a struggle, his tip being the only thing remaining in your gushing warmth. “Can you take some more for me? Hm? Think you could do that?” When he watches you nod he gently takes your legs from his waist and pushes them against your chest, finding himself thrusting deeper at the new angle, your walls clenching so god damn good.

-“virgin? Really.. you? Are a virgin?” He almost doesn’t believe you because to him he can’t see how someone like you could be one. He’d thought everybody would be all over you. But he would admit he was proud to be the one to take it from you. He’s kinda dumb. So he doesn’t catch on. He just thinks you innocence is just, well how you are. But no.. no it’s for many reasons.

-he guides you 100%, you might actually make him a bit nervous because he doesn’t want to ruin this for you. He doesn’t want to take your purity away in such a vile way, he actually wants to make sure it goes exactly how you want. Tell him and he’ll do it. “You’ve got it babe”

-like I said Stan is a little dumb from time to time so he just doesn’t understand why you can’t sit still on his lap. He doesn’t get why your legs are practically shaking and stuttering against him when his large calloused hands come to hold at your hips. Maybe he’s not dumb he’s just, oblivious. He’s noticed that when he sweeps the hair from your neck to the other side you shudder, gripping onto his arm. “Are you? Are you good?”

-when he finds out the reason for it being you were a virgin he kinda.. likes it. He likes that he can be the one to make you act like that, how a single touch from him could have your legs open for him. Of course he takes is time with you. But he does enjoy teasing you from time to time.

-.. the first time you give him a handjob he’s definitely staring at you. He’s on the couch because his parents aren’t home. So what a perfect spot to do so. Your hands pump his cock so well while you partially hide your face, turning it the other way. His arms are resting on the head of the couch, one hand coming to turn your head so close to his you can feel his breath. “Don’t shy away from me..” his eyes are on you, nose pressed to your cheek as you pump him faster, you bottom lip tugged harshly under your teeth.

Kenny ₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉

“Mm I think you can take more sweet thing.. shhh I don’t wanna hear another word. You lay and look pretty for me yeah?” Kenny’s pace was torturous as it was; but having him grip onto his headboard, and pushing you further into his sheets was enough to make you clench harder around him. He shivered, his smile growing wide enough to expose the missing tooth on the right side further back. “Kenny please! I can’t do it.. I-i can’t take much more” you pushed at his lower stomach, still your grip around him was hard for him to pull out, pulling out would mean feeling every inch of his cock and that alone was pleasurable enough to send you to your edge. “Awh the poor baby, that’s a shame isn’t it, cuz you are” he was quick to take your jaw in his hands, pounding into you, his other hand pushing down on your shoulder to keep you from squirming. “Fuck I love the way you clench around me, like you don’t want me to leave” he cooed at you. Feeling yours fingers scratch and grip at his sides and lower stomach once more.

-he’s a horndog. So finding out you’re a virgin? “SCORE” he’s jumping over the moon for joy! Really it’s nothing to be so happy about, so giddy, but he’s just more or so happy it gets to be him that shows you everything.

-he’s probably one to tease tremendously until you finally lose your virginity to him. He likes watching you twitch and squirm at every touch he gives, but he makes sure his touches are extra touchy. He’ll walk behind you to grab your chest, when your making out his tongue is tracing your collarbones all the way down to the hem of your underwear. He wants you to feel like it’s about to happen but he’ll keep you waiting just a little longer.

-he’s probably gotten you to hump his leg. I’m not kidding. He was sitting on his bed, watching you walk around a little too tempting for him. He wasn’t exactly ready to do things to you quite yet, and he didn’t want to force you but when you ended up on his floor, sitting on his foot to try and get off. That shit eating grin never left his face. “Where did that pretty little innocence go hm?” “Kenny.. s-stop it’s not funny”

Cartman 🎧✮🧺✧˖°

“You’re so pathetic.” cartman pulled out, before pushing himself back in further “squeezing and gripping my cock like you don’t want me to stop.” He repeated slowly pulling out before pushing back in. “You go so dumb for my cock you can’t help but clench onto me huh? You silly little thing” who knew Eric cartman was also a teasing little shit even in bed. You. You did. Your hands held onto his shoulders, your feet planted on his bed, knees up and shaking as he worked his way to a somewhat quicker pace. He kept his thrusts short but he was deep. Both due to him and you pulling in him each time he tried to pull back a bit. “Eric, m-mm~” he cocked a brow stopping for a moment before looking at you fully. “Go on, say it, I won’t move until you do” your eyes shot open “mmm- more I want more please” he chuckled gently “you greedy bitch, I’m giving you so much and you want more” he listened though, he gave you what you wanted. He always did in the end.

- “pfft. Fucking virgin” he was too. So don’t let him get to you. Is he going to tell you that? Fuck no. Do you know? Yeah most likely I mean it’s cartman he’s lucky he even landed you. “Cartman shut up. That’s fucking rude and it’s not funny” you crossed your arms. “I’m sorry I’m sorry.. hmm” you shot him a glare. “Cartman.” He placed his fingertips to his lips “it’s just.. a little funny” he pinched his fingers together to make a small gap between his thumb and pointer finger. “I hate you.”

- a fucking tease, like Kenny he uses it to his full fucking advantage. He’ll tease the fuck out of you but just won’t give you want you want. You want him to take your virginity and baby he will. He just wants to get you all pent up, hot and bothered.

-from time to time, when things feel like they’re getting closer, and both of you are practically undressed his tip is teasing at your entrance, slowly circling before he stops for a moment, “hm, I don’t know, I’m feeling a little *yawn* sleepy yknow?” He smirks before laying down on his back watching as you look wet and dumbfounded, legs slowly closing as you sit up. “What the hell Eric..” he looks at you. “You could, suck me off? How does that sound?” You roll your eyes lowering your head at his commend. Don’t worry.. he’ll do it. He just likes to tease you to the very edge, to where you think you’ll get it.

Butters ˚☆🐈*๑

“P-please I won’t last much longer if y-you keep doing that..” butters stutters his words. He has you in a mating press, his legs surprisingly keeping him up, as he slams back down repeatedly. “I’m sorry baby.. I-i can’t he-help it oh my god~” your hands run through his hair, his head lowered towards yours as his lips try to reach your own. You clenched around him each time he pushed in. And god did he love watching himself pull out to watch you grip, your juices coating his member. And when you were left empty he watched as you pulsate trying desperately to find him. The look of it.. fuck he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help but to give your tight fit exactly what it wanted “ahh~ lord.. I’m so close~” he whispered against your lips. He knew if his parents seen him now he’d be grounded for god knows how long but Jesus you drove him crazy the way you sucked him back in.

-“virgin? Well that’s alright darlin! Me too! We can learn together!” What he doesn’t know is you’ll have him sucked in, he can’t escape. Not that’s it’s bad. But he becomes addicted. Ever since the you told him, all he’s had on his mind is you gripping him so tightly, your warmth and softness. He’s like a rabid little bunny. But he does keep it to himself, he wants to be gentle with you, sweet and attentive the very first time. You both wanna make sure the other is comfortable.

-he finds it cute when he touches you and you practically moan. Because.. he does the same thing. You touch the back of his neck? He’s shuddering and moaning at the way your fingertips softly lingered. He loves when you you lay him down on his bed, lifting his shirt to kiss around his belly button, your lips lingering against his slight bright blonde happy trail. And he does the same to you, his lips tracing every inch of your body until he reaches between your thighs “mmm.. can I?” He asks gently “well I’ve never done this before so if it’s bad.. I’m sorry” he looks up at your with puppy dog eyes, making sure you know he’s just never done this. When you give the okay, he gentle.. but he can’t help himself when he tastes you, he’s immediately got your legs over his shoulders, and he’s making you squirm and scream. He’s very proud of himself. He’s not much of a tease but he tries to when he gets in the mood

“Well don’t you look awfully pretty” he mutters in your ear, watching the blush creep onto your cheek and you squirm in the place you sat. He’s not the greatest at teasing but hey he tries. And he makes sure you both learn one step at a time.

-but once he’s had it once…. There ain’t no going back. He’s like a wild dog off its leash.

Im sick.. and I’m feeling.. in the mood. I love them. I want them.

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