#I WAS ANXIOUS ALMOST ALL DAY

[tapakah0]

BLESS THESE CREATURES HEROES DO NOT EXIST BUT GODS DO THEY ARE BLESS THEM GONNA BE THEIR PERSONAL DRIVER TO THE HEAVEN AND BACK JUST BECAUSE YES

KISS THEM

THEY ARE A BLESSING

MY HANDS ARE SHAKING THANK YOU

#I WAS ANXIOUS ALMOST ALL DAY #IT IS 1/3 DOWNLOADED #DO YOU HEAR ME #IF I DIE THEY WILL GET EVERYTHING AFTER ME #I DON'T HAVE BOX ENOUGH TO PUT EVERYTHING I WANNA FOR THEM

[rwby-confess]

Confession #89

#rwby #confessed by anonymous #I dont really ship them myself but real !!! #strawbana #sun wukong #Ruby Rose #shipping #I imagine in the beacon days Ruby getting flustered/embarrased over being with Sun who is token hot guy with fangirls (see: v3 tournament) #(+ being let into the school early and being team leader and now this) #Sun is actually just dork so he didnt even think about how others would see it all but insists that it doesnt matter #maybe there would even be people who'd say team SSSN is almost perfect (bunch of token hot guys) if it wasnt the faunus leader #so he doesnt think about how his team looks or how he affects it #Ruby loves his gunchuks and Sun tries many time teach her how to use them (shes used to handling only one and way heavier weapon...) #post beacon Sun would send her lots of messages asking if shes okay and they'd send memes to each other #Ruby also would ask him to look after Blake since she knows hes with her #they would talk about their leader skills which would eventually prompt Sun going back to his' #slay #they would be cute #WHEN RUBY FEELS SOCIALLY ANXIOUS HE COULD HELP HER GROUND WITH SOOTHING HER WITH HIS TAIL OMG #okay thats all #maybe #rare pairs

[luvsavos]

hello rain world tumblr i would like you to meet my friend Big Ol Eyes (i named them that for their big ol fuckin Lookers and tiny ass . . pupils)

they followed me back to my shelter and proceeded to adopt me as their emotional support animal for the next cycle

#mar.txt #rain world #rw scavenger #rain world scavenger #scavenger rain world #scavenger rw #idk what all tags to use #video #they got very nervous whenever they lost track of me and thought they were alone</3 i spent the entire cycle following them to make sure #they were okay #NORMALLY this is my Absolute Fucking Obliterate Vultures With The Scavs save but i am more than happy to take a day off Vulture Hunting to #be a scav's emotional support slugcat i <3 scavs #poor thang was so freaked out from the lizards that they almost tried to go through the [REDACTED FOR MOOT SPOILERS] room instead #i had to gently coax them over to the tunnels then follow them up (and even then they still panicked at first when i made a noise and they #didn't know it was me so i had to show them it was me and that they're still safe to calm them down) for them to feel safe enough to</3 #i love when scavs are so anxious at a baseline that they just kind of perpetually vibrate #me when i get the anxiety shivers

[crybaby-bkg]

I did all of my work early for the week so I could prepare myself for the first period since starting my new birth control and I just. never came on. I feel like I should be concerned but google is telling me that it’s normal :/

#tw: periods #THIS IS SO STRANGE???? #I’ve had my period for over a decade now and I’ve never not had a period before?? #and I thought it would be really bad bc my pre menstrual cramps were really uncomfortable and kinda bad #and then. nothing. at all. #this feels too good to be true 😭 #I just hope this new bc helps with the stuff I switched to it for #I’m also v anxious bc I have to get a cavity filled for the first time in like. almost ten years #and I’m so scared for some reason??? will they put a needle in my gums??? 😭 #I DONT WANNA!!!!!!! I take enough needles a day ☹️ #sorry I’m just a complain fest tonight I feel like poo #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[lavampira]

:<

#just need to vent but it’s been such a miserable day #and it’s crybaby hours bc i’ve been so tired and anxious and stressed all day and i feel dumb for it but at least it’s almost over ig #the life and times

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hahaha who else up thinkin about the inevitable passage of time and how me being in college was two years ago and it literally feels like it was yesterday and i feel like i haven't even changed as a person at all since then and yet i feel like a completely different person at the same time and how watching old dsmp videos makes me feel nostalgic for three years ago and yet i remember getting into the dsmp like it was just a couple months ago and someday i will likely think back on this day with nostalgia and have this exact same crisis and time feels like it's moving way too fast and i will never have the time to accomplish the things i want to accomplish and leave my mark on the world before i die hahaha anyone else thinking about that

#whiskey yelling into the void #WE'RE GOIN THRU IT TONIGHT BOYS!!!! #it's already almost february what the actual fuck #can time stop for a minute can it just pause can i have a fucking moment to catch my breath #good god i still feel like a scared anxious teenager and i also feel like a ten year old and i remember being five years old and #i feel like i've wasted so much time trying to figure out who i am and i'll never have enough time to be who i want to be #anyway <3 #how are we all doing tonight. are we doing good #how is everyone doing how was ur day

[alangdorf]

& btw I’ve lost about a week of my life to thinking about this egg. Hi

#NOT tagging as art #me #blood #(fake he’s fine) #(​considered drawing egg yolk all over the floor but decided against it) #watched the epilogue last Sunday and then Friday we had a blackout and I’ve literally been talking about Maggie almost constantly since #might throw up some conspiracy theory boards to summarize idk #kirby #magolor #(removing from main tags cause I’m a bit anxious it might be misconstrued as hate!) #(for the actual original context: I said this when talking about how all of my recent discussion has been completely overtaken by Kirby #lore and a friend replied to it with ‘Kit standing over a mangled corpse’ and I was like yeah that’s funny. I should draw that #Two weeks ago I was like ‘yeah Magolor is the type of character I would really like but in practice I’m not like super into him!’ #hard cut to a week later. My dm’s with my fiancé: destroyed. My channel in my friends’ server: annihilated. Mental illness +30% this quarter #I was listening to Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds and had the though ‘oh hey this would make a good Magolor song!’ #The babygirlification process has started and I fear it may be irreversible. #like I’m enjoying myself but also I pulled three all-nighters in four days and I really need to speed up my wedding prep agh)

[rosicheeks]

😬

#got the call I’ve been waiting for #starting my PHP on Friday #8:15-10 doing some intake shit #and then the rest of the day is starting the program #I am so fucking scared and anxious and all the feelings #but I need to do this #the financial person is going to call me tomorrow #and I really really hope I can figure out something #cause I need to do this #but $3000? #fuck off #not to mention I still gotta pay almost $2000 for my sleep study bs 🙃 #oh how I love being alive right now it’s gr88888888888 #send me praise and love pls #I’m super proud of myself for finally doing it #but I’m still terrified #shut up rosie

[kittlyns]

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute #so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back. #pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few. #over and over and over. #and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick. #and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much #but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment. #which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow? #even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it #she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan #I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!! #no response. deep inhale. alright. #whatever tho. #when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning #and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area. #and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell #like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color. #I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH??? #and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine. #there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him #and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times. #there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously. #I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out #was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do. #got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night. #put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over #blahhhhhh #and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

[vulpixelates]

trying to find a balance between "module that's easy to understand and follow bc i am terrified of DMing and might cry" and "module that's not boring af especcially in the first adventure bc that might be as far as i manage to get through before losing my mind and i at least want my forever DM to have fun as a player for once" is killing me lmao

#apiewofoaiwjefaoijfew #i REALLY do not think she will find the beginning of waterdeep dragon heist compelling unless i make changes but like aoeifja #i'm so overwhelmed by the idea of making changes #i just want something i can follow from start to finish so i can MAYBE learn that DMing isn't as terrifying as i think it is 😭😭 #trying to desperately not to talk myself out of this lmao #uuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #she also suggested the lost mines module bc it's meant for newbies but i'm just like OIFJAEOWIFAOWIJEF #she doesn't even really use goblins in her own games she's not going to find this beginning part interesting at all 😭😭 #and i'm so nervous about any other modules bc it's just going to be her playing + an npc i'm controlling who is a fighter but like aofeijao #they still might get crushed even if i have her start at like level 3 for a level 1 adventure. i have no idea how any of this works anymore #idk OIFJAOEWIFAE the last time i tried to run stuff it was all homebrew and i was so fucking bad at it #i feel like everything i did made everyone miserable lmao #any time i tried to like just go w the flow it didn't work #esp bc i get so anxious about it aofiejaoijfwe #i am so not cut out for this but my wife literally never gets an opportunity to play and she has DM'd me almost every single day for like #five to six years now faoewijfaoiwjef she deserves a chance to play and has been really sad about not having one in the past #so i have to try at least #*dykeposting

[frecklystars]

ok I know it’s monday after 1pm and nobody is online but I wanna talk about meeting Steve Blum 🥺🥺🥺

Me and my friend waited in line for three hours, maybe four? He motioned for me to come forward when it was my turn and I pointed at myself to make sure he actually meant me, and he kind of laughed and said “yes you!! It’s okay, come here” And once I approached him I started shaking just like I knew would happen, I had no words :’) He was so patient though, he said “hi” and I said “hi” and he said “hi” and I said “hi” and he laughed again and said “how are you doing today?” And I was like “I’m!! I’m well!! How are you? Are you tired?” He said “I’m good, but yeah I’m really sleepy. But it’s worth it! we made it to sunday!!! yaaay!!” he seemed so cheerful for someone who barely slept within 4 days, stood and socialized in such an overcrowded setting for 10 hours each day, living on those little 8-hour energy drinks (kind of like retail ig)

I handed him the envelope after he confirmed he accepts gifts, and he said “oh my goodness, look how beautiful this is! look at how much time you spent on this -- this is so lovely, I can’t wait to open it!! this is amazing!! I can’t wait to get home and play with this, thank you!!” and the envelope drawings weren’t even special, they were little star and heart shapes because duh it’s ME and i also put some starscream and heatwave stickers on there hehe/// but he was acting like it was so pretty, it was very sweet of him to do that

And I actually planned to give him just one of the charms separately, just to see his reaction. I chose the Steve charm bc I think it’s the cutest one + I don’t know if he often gets fanart of. like. himself? So I handed it to him, and he didn’t even have to pull it out of the bag to recognize it, he immediately says “oh my god that’s me!! oh my god that’s me!!!” and he’s holding the thing so carefully while studying it. “this is amazing, oh my god. you made this? you MADE this?? that’s... amazing” and he reads my full name I wrote on the back and says “Keri... Keri... I recognize your name... on cameos, right?” He pauses. “My little starflower, is that you??”

I was in SHOCK?? I didn’t think he’d actually?? recognize my name let alone remember the starflower thing?? and I lost my words again so I just nodded a lot, and his eyes WIDEN and he leans forward and says “wait really?! THAT WAS YOU?” and I nodded again, and squeaked “you? remember??” and he insists “yes! I remember! I remember!! my starflower from cameos!!” and he starts laughing in disbelief, shaking his head while saying “I can’t believe I’m meeting you! my little starflower, yes of course I remember you!!” and he slipped into the starscream voice and said SO fondly “my little starflower keri...” (made me GASP) “of course I would remember my starflower, of course I do, my little starflower Keri...” and I melted. I fucking MELTED and he just kept laughing and repeating (in his normal speaking voice) “wow, it’s you!! of course I’d remember that! my starflower! it’s you!!”

and I told him that the gift package was my way of trying to repay him for all the cameos, even though there isn’t hardly enough in there, I wanted to give him *something* because “you saved my life” and I wasn’t going into details abt that part but he looked rly touched and said “awww... alright, hold on, I HAVE to hug you!” AND I’M LIKE. WAIT WHAT REALLY? FOR REAL? I didn’t have any time to even open my mouth after he said that bc NO HESITATION, DUDE DROPS EVERYTHING AND *CLIMBS OUT OF HIS LITTLE BOOTH AREA* and immediately wraps his arms around me and hugged me so tight 🥺🥺 and he leans into my ear and says “you’re amazing. this is the reason why I love my job. you’re so amazing, don’t forget that, okay Keri? you’re wonderful. you’re incredible, okay? I’m honored to meet you, you’re amazing” and he kept repeating a bunch of compliments, I don’t remember half of them because I was like, barely processing what was happening and thinking holy shit I can’t believe this is actually going so well and then when he pulled away he said “okay I’m gonna sign something for you!”

So he pulls out a Starscream print and slips into the stsc voice again “to my Starflower, yes? yes...” and while we watched him write, I was completely mesmerized and gripping onto my friend’s arm for dear life. she doesn’t even know steve or any of his shows but she came all this way with me and stayed in the line with me and made SURE to take photos and record some audio and did everything to make sure we’d get in line today (she’s amazing and i fucking love her) & steve wrote “Keri... thank you for being my little Starflower. love, Starscream (and steve)” which reminded me of the one time he said in a cameo in his stsc voice sooo gently “thank you for loving me” like it just. oogghgh made me melt. and then he said “honestly, with you, Starscream is probably the nicest he’s ever been” and I was just in complete awe this whole time, I couldn’t believe he was actively encouraging my silly selfship shit to this level. I really just expected him to say “oh, cool, sure, ok here’s your print” and for the line to keep moving. all of this was so unexpected. so I said “this evil alien robot killed someone not even 5 minutes into the first episode, and you make him so nice to me, and I appreciate it so much” and he said “aww! hey, absolutely, it’s always my choice! and of course he’d be nice to you, you’re his starflower aren’t you??” GODDDDDD

and I thought we’d be done, but he suddenly calls for his agent (gwen. i love her. love gwen, absolute queen), and shows her the Steve charm and says “gwen look! look at this, oh my god. look how amazing this is!! isn’t this incredible? she DREW this, can you believe that? Keri, you even put my tattoo on there!! that’s my tattoo! the attention to detail!! I’m definitely gonna take this home, I’m keeping this on my desk forever! I love this so much, are you kidding me? I am never letting this go!”

And Gwen says “oh my god, that’s SO CUTE!!! Keri, did you make this? you MADE all of these charms?” (im assuming she opened the envelope to check inside for safety reasons, I think it’s part of her job) then she asks “do you post more artwork anywhere like instagram? you should tag us, we’ll share it!!” and steve turns, drops his markers and chimes loudly “YES WE WILL SHARE IT this is DEFINITELY going online” and she goes on for like a full minute telling me to share my artwork with steve nodding encouragingly adding a little “yes!” “absolutely!” “yes!!” every five seconds while I’m still shaking like a leaf. I looked AND sounded absolutely ridiculous w/ my dumb high pitched voice, barely remembering to nod my head and to breathe, couldn’t believe he’s talked to me this long, couldn’t believe he’s THIS enthusiastic, couldn’t believe he likes my art THIS MUCH when I was so sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, couldn’t believe his wholeass agent is compliment my art and saying she’d want to share it??? like literally everything went Best Case Scenario, this was way more than I could have dreamed. insane. AND WE’RE NOT EVEN DONE YET--

he opens the envelope to put the charm inside and says “I’m NOT losing THIS” and then he peaks further into the package and says “oooohh there’s all KINDS of goodies in here!!! thank you so much, I’m going to have so much fun getting to look at all of these!!” and Gwen holds up the blue star bag that I put the Steve charm in, and she says “this is my favorite!! star is my middle name, blue is my favorite color, and I looove sparkly things” and I said “you are literally the coolest human being alive” and she laughs “you are so funny!!” and Steve hugged her and said “I’ll give you the star bag Gwen!” and she said “there’s more in here with all kinds of sparkles!” and he says “ooooh, sounds like something Keri would do” SDLKJFHKLDF

and then we took a pic and then he asked if I wanted a short little video, and if I wanted to be IN the video with him, or if I just wanted it to be him only. I really didn’t want to be in it bc I already hated hearing myself talk but I said “oh whatever you’re comfortable with” and he said “well come here, you can’t have Starlight without his Starflower! I’ll ask you some questions and you answer them with me okay?” 😭💕 so he pulls me into the recording w/ my friend’s phone and he said “Keri, Keri, my little starflower... did you drink your energon today?” and I said why yes Starlight I certainly did and he replies “mm, yes, I can tell, you are looking exceptionally powerful!” and he did such a cute evil laugh and it took all of my guts to keep quiet bc my reaction every time he laughs is “awwwWWWW” but I didn’t wanna mess up the video w/ my dumb voice. and he added “Oh, don’t tell Megatron about this though, he’d be sooo jealous I get to talk to you...” like omfg dude is out here confirming that Megatron is so down bad in the megakeri relationship and he has no idea 😂

and the rest is kind of foggy bc I was barely processing half of this, so nervous abt my own behavior, in absolute shock that he was like, leaning so close and making eye contact the entire interaction to make sure that he knows that I had his full attention. he was so patient and never cut me off, even tho I was talking so fast bc I was sooo anxious but he was so so so kind the entire time... and then out of nowhere he pulls me into ANOTHER HUG 🥺🥺 and thanks me again saying “please take care, starflower. you really are an incredible artist” 😭😭😭

and after all of that, I was just. glowing. walking in a complete daze. i couldn’t even hear the crowd, ppl were bumping into me bc it was like a SEA of people at this convention, but it was just a buzzing sound to me bc all I could think about was the signed print in my hands and all the memories that come with it now... I didn’t expect him to remember me, let alone get so excited and? hug me? give me all these memorable things? say such nice things??? insist that he wanted to keep my artwork? promised he would do everything to make sure it got home safe? god. I also said at the very end “hey if you ever find an alternate to cameo... I will give you all of my money” and he laughed and said “nooo I don’t want your money, I don’t do this for money!” and there wasn’t any further comment abt cameo and I was like ok the line is moving I gotta GO go. so it’s unlikely he will ever find a cameo alternate, but like... I have over a dozen of his cameos already I get to cherish, +1 cameo we did ~together~ + all of those nice compliments. I’m just... still in shock... ok thank u to anyone who took the time to read this ❤

#i cant believe i didnt cry. i expected to cry. but i didnt even get teary-eyed. i ALMOST did tho #when he said 'yes of course i remember you' and when he hugged me. but wow i was SOMEWHAT collected? what a concept #woof #steve blum #also big shoutout to my friend for helping me. christ #i was so anxious for days and kept repeating 'what if what if' #and she would counter it with 'nooo he's going to love your art! we will make sure he receives it' #she waited so fucking long with me and tried to get us to all the events in time #granted there were only three events we were actually interested in #BUT ALL OF THEM we were so early and she navigated us SO well #and when I was all dumb and teary the day before bc we couldn't make it to ANYTHING #bc it was SO CROWDED that lines would cut off within 2 minutes #she still did her damn best and was like 'WE ARE GOING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN FOR YOU' #and she recorded steve saying almost ALL of this bc she KNEW i needed to hear it #ppl arent allowed to video record or photograph unless if they're staff #but she recorded audio secretively and was like 'dont worry i gotchu' #kericakes cameos #going in this tag bc technically he gave me a cameo. sort of #ive been looping the audio just in total disbelief of all the nice things he said #long post #SORRY I couldn't put it under a readmore im on mobile rn #and im so impatient I wanted to talk abt it immediately #NOW I GOTTA LEARN HOW TO POST THINGS ON INSTAGRAM

[sovaharbor]

do you know how fucking stupid it is to be terrified out of your mind over leaving the house and being in a car for ~40 minutes tomorrow. do you know how fucking stupid it is to overhear your mom on the phone with your dad as they bicker over what could possibly be so scary about going to a doctors appointment tomorrow. do you know how fucking stupid it is to get so anxious just Thinking about tomorrow that you start shaking and have to force-feed yourself your favorite chicken gnocchi soup while you literally try to not vomit from the sheer amount of anxiety you are feeling. do you Know how Stupid it is.

#i am the world's biggest fawking idiot #and my body and brain are a very close second #DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING STUPID IT IS TO HAVE A PHOBIA OF VOMITING AND YOUR BODY'S MAIN RESPONSE TO SEVERE ANXIETY IS TO MAKE YOU SO NAUSEOUS #THAT YOU GAG ALL DAY AND NEARLY HORK WHILE TRYING TO FEED YOURSELF FOOD. DO YOU KNOWWWWWWWWW. #i literally dont know what god i angered to make me an anxious almost-puker at this point in my life but it's awful and i hate it thanks #i think the worst thing is ive been telling my dad for months that i didnt think i'd be mentally ready to go to this appointment #because i freak out just going 5 minutes away to publix. and this is a 40+ minute drive going like 60 mph and im like!!! haha!!!!!!! #i literally just want to cry and curl up in a ball and do absolutely nothing at all ever i feel so stupid lol...

[truckstoptigers]

he hurt me so bad and got to walk away from it

I don't get to walk away from it

the damage he and those men did isn't just mental

#csa vent #im not done screaming abt this actually #i was only five when he stated raping me. i was very small & a bit underweight bc i always felt too anxious to eat #and he often would withhold food whenever he felt like it or would force me to eat things i didnt like even if i gagged #but i was a tiny defenseless child and he raped me. he tore my fucking hymen. my father raped me and told me it was all okay #he told me it was supposed to hurt. that i was supposed to bleed. but 'it always hurts the first time. youll get used to it eventually' #how the fuck does a child 'get used to' smth like that????? #how does a five-year-old cope with bleeding for two-three days and being almost unable to walk because of the physical trauma??? #what the fuck dude. i genuinely dont understand how i survived this shit #milo murmurs

[rnm-magic-space-xsd]

#Moonlit Longing #🎁💗! #love letter #Nodame Cantabile #AAAA #CHIAKI IS A LOT LIKE JUJU! JUJU ALSO KNOWS HOW TO SING PLAY THE PIANO AND THE VIOLIN! #I AM AUTISTIC LIKE NODAME! IM BUBBLY OPTIMISTIC AND QUIRKY LIKE HER TOO! #PLUS MY NAME LITERALLY MEANS NY MELODY #OR SONG OF MY SOUL #AND AND THE NECKLACE IS MADE BY MUSIC NOTES THAT CREATE A HEART TOGETHER! #I’ll express my love adoration and appreciation of my JujuBear whenever and however much I can when Juju feels anxious or insecure #because Juju is my first and deepest love #the one I will always and endlessly cherish #I mean I literally think of and daydream about Juju all day almost every day

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

the urge to make a multi-muse LL rp blog even though i will probably not do much with it and have mostly sworn off tumblr rp

#LL tag #pros: powerful urge to do public rp. cons: hate setting up rp blogs. past experiences with tumblr rp spheres have been tirefires #would almost certainly be multi-muse if i did though because i am incapable of just limiting myself to one #or a small enough number to make separate blogs for all of them #or might make separate blogs for a few; then split other muses off from the main one if i decide they've gained enough steam for their own #all i know is i miss doing public rp and i am very selective about who i'll rp with in private spaces these days #for a number of reasons including just being a socially anxious motherfucker w/ very few spoons for non-asynchronous interaction these days #i already know i'm gonna go for ivan five and both versions of nine #and probably also the retconned version of five who was with the mogs since he was tiny. and possibly adam #MAGGIE. i'd like to write maggie #along with various au versions of all of the above lmao #selkie five sphinx ivan white deer maggie college student cody villain nine my beloveds #possibly others i'm forgetting #There's a Lot #RP tag

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Being screamed at for things that aren't my fault seems to be a norm in this house

There's cookware scattered an dirty? Guess who gets blamed for it? The exact one that almost never has spoons for cooking in the first place

I live cleaning the trail after me so they won't have any reason to scream at me, but my brother leaves absolute messes behind him and the screams are for me

Fuck off

#momochiiee mussings #then people ask why it's almost impossible to hear me walking around #I've grown used to avoiding at all costs being noticed and leaving anything that can tell I was through there #when I get up from the table I'm always told to put their dishes in the dishwasher as I am putting mine #then the days I'm not around no one fucking cleans the table after themselves and I am still the one that gets called dirty and messy #my room is a mess YES. but the rest of the house isn't my room and therefore Isn't my living space and I must make sure I do not litter #I clean my own room when I have the spoons for it and refuse for anyone else to do it for me. it's my mess and I must deal with it myself #why do they insist I am to blame for their own mess of the kitchen when I barely have the energy to cook once a month??? #and it's not like they don't entrust other chores to me #but I digress I'm just mad because I've been blamed for the mess my dad and brother did and blamed on me just because I went there #every time I happen to have the energy to cook they complain about my cooking or blame messes on me even if I handwash & put away everything #it would be nice if they spared a fucking word of appreciation every now and then #I'm not asking them to call me endearingly but at least to not spit on any tiny effort I manage to make... or blame me for their mistakes #I'm starting to see how as soon as I am rendered jobless mid December I'll start to get screamed at again more often #and get the I'm a nuisance treatment because I can't afford basic stuff anymore #it's going to be a long year for sure... but I must put my all on the intensive classes so I can score a good job #If I manage... I will finally be able to get out of here and have my own space without any more screams #and without them brushing off my sensory triggers every time I try to explain how certain things and situations get me anxious af