#I can be a dumbass sometimes

[stephobrien]

I’m coming from my vent account because I don’t want to get found out as a Jew on my main. Please, please stop posting in the antisemitism tag. You’re clogging it up and taking away a safe space for Jews by trying to delegitimise Jew hatred. Now, I don’t know if you’re good faith or not, but I’m leaning on no. You keep on going onto posts about Jew hatred from Jews, saying what boils down to ‘wow! I’ve learned so much from this!’ and then you go back to posting inflammatory things again. I mean, you posted something from Caitlin Johnstone, I can’t believe that you give a single shit about Jews (or Ukrainians) after that

As for your most recent post on how poor you just can’t believe lying Jews when we talk about discrimination because you’re scared we’re deceiving you, you put in a comment ‘If I'd seen said Arab nations' governments massacring thousands of civilians, while painting every single criticism of said massacre as Islamophobic, yes, I would have’. This is… I don’t even know how to tackle this, do you genuinely not know all of the horrific shit so many of the Arab states have done? Qatar is known as one of the biggest countries of modern slavery. The Houthis in Yemen sex traffic Ethiopian women, and also reintroduced slavery into Yemen. Just look at the atrocities so many of these countries have committed against Shia Muslims! Is your brain mush, how can you say this when there is so, so much evidence of the horrors that these nations have committed?! And if you think these states graciously accept criticism of those horrors… you’re being ignorant on purpose. And it’s still not okay to say that you don’t believe an Arab when they talk about anti Arab racism that they’ve experienced, I think we can at least agree on that. So why’s it not the same for Jews?

For a more personal example to Jews, look up the Mizrachi expulsion. The Arab states violently expelled almost a million Jews from their countries ‘because Israel’, which they only care about because it ruined their dream of pan Arabism, not because of any solidarity with the Arabs in the mandate btw. My family was lucky, we came from Iran, which is not Arab, so the violence was coming from the people rather than the state itself. But I’ve had to heard accounts from people talking about how they watched their family get shot in the head while their homes were repossessed for no reason other than the fact they were Jews. Is that bad enough for you? Does it even make a dent in your image of the Arab states? Or is it okay because it happened to Jews?

I know I sound very angry in this, and that’s because I am very angry. And that anger is completely justified! My life, and the lives of almost every Jew on this disgusting website, have been beyond horrible for five months. The number of times I’ve had to read about a new Jew hating shooting or stabbing in the world is too many too count. And then, non Jews like you decide to play the ‘oops, I just caaaan’t believe those Jews about Jew hatred because they could be zionists!’ (Which are around eighty percent of the Jewish population, but I don’t think you’re ready for that conversation yet, it’s reserved for people who actually want to learn). All of us are so unimaginably angry. All of us are at our fucking breaking point, or we’ve completely snapped already! The people you have interacted with have been some of the kindest, most levelheaded people here, but you’d better not get used to it, because we’re all tired of this bullshit

Thank you for taking the time to call me out. Between you and the several other people who contacted me about this, I’ve come to realize that that post was a terrible mistake.

It was meant to be a vent post about people who deliberately blur the lines around what’s actually antisemitism, and about my lack of certainty about my own ability to independently assess the less obvious instances of that (which is clearly still very lacking, as the response to that post made clear to me).

But it apparently caught a lot of innocent Jews in the crossfire, making them feel unsafe, unheard, and delegitimized. That wasn’t the intention, but it was clearly the effect. I screwed up badly, and I’m sorry.

I admittedly don’t know all the details about the horrific shit Arab nations have done. I was aware of Iraq’s government mass murdering protesters, and Saudi Arabia’s horrifically sexist laws, but some of the info you shared in this post is stuff I hadn’t previously heard of.

As for why I mentioned false accusations of antisemitism specifically, it’s because that’s the one I’ve seen several times a day lately, sometimes in the form of stuff like telling people who protest child murder that “You just don’t like it when Jews defend themselves.”

That said, you and the other people who responded have made it clear to me that that focus was based on an overly narrow view on my part. I’ve been more active in pro-Palestine circles than in circles that focus on the other situations you mentioned, so naturally that resulted in me seeing more antisemitism accusations than accusations focused on groups that aren’t directly involved in that conflict. So that resulted in a less than balanced viewpoint.

While my vent post was meant to be about one specific phenomenon I’d personally seen a lot of, the fact that I didn’t mention similar behavior on the part of groups I hadn’t personally seen as much of that behavior from did result in it being unjustly targeted, in a way I didn’t intend but should’ve assessed better.

What happened to you and other Jews at the hands of Arab nations (and pretty much every nation) was absolutely not okay. The effect my post had on you and other Jews who saw it was not okay. The treatment you’ve endured on Tumblr is not okay. And I’m sorry for the pain I caused you.

You have every right to be angry at me. I won’t ask you to forgive me or trust me, because I know I earned your anger with that poorly thought out post. I shouldn’t have made my own insecurities and frustrations other people’s problem like that. I screwed up badly, and I’m sorry.

#long post #I can be a dumbass sometimes #but I'm woman enough to admit when I screwed up #and this time I definitely did

[stuckinapril]

A major annoying thing about being in a male dominated stem field (chemistry for me) is you basically work w guys 99% of the time & they ALL think you have a crush on them if you’re even fleetingly nice. And so far I’ve refused to water down my personality to compensate for it but it’s so annoying knowing I’m inadvertently feeding into someone’s unchecked ego

#My approach is I’ll treat my guy friends like I do my girl friends #And I guess I have a flirtatious personality from the jump so people get the wrong idea #But idk sometimes I’m literally just friendly and some dumbass guy is like yeah she wants me carnally #Getting confessed to by one of my classmates last spring while taking some of the hardest courses of my life was so traumatic #Then being hit up by his friend right after 😭😭 #Please tell me what I did to make u think I was into you enough for you to be this bold so I can never do it again #This happens to me at parties too and guys get too touchy #Why does it have to be this serious #This is why I’m so glad to be avoiding guys rn like straight cis men are literally the bane of my existence #SO bitter ab these people they’ve ruined guy friendships for me forever #So many suppressed feelings ab this too I should journal about it probably

[seefasters]

my take on the steeplechase trio (and montrose’s mask variants)

#my art #taz #taz steeplechase #since beef is an arm wrestler im kinda entertained by the idea that he keeps it casual from the waist down #but all of his shirts are branded beef punchley shirts #i like to think that all of montrose’s clothes are slightly too big for him because he buys them himself #but doesn’t have the money/resources for a tailor #and he can’t go to dentonic bc his uniform is supposed to be something totally different #i kinda struggled with his mask #but i like the idea that it really is a human face but you can see the edges. the metallic parts of the mask. the little glitches #his skin color is always ever so slightly off #also griffin described his actual face as ‘plain’ so imagine he looks like just some guy. a little babyfaced #while his ‘neutral’ mask is just generically handsome #and i didnt draw that but i think it glitches out sometimes and his face goes all wonky #sorry griffin i took over your boy #emerich was probably the easiest to design he just sprung into my head fully formed #i don’t remember if the give-a-ghost projector is actually supposed to be on his arm #but it is now . #also i would like everyone to think about montrose talking about jesus in that dumbass clean job mask please. thank you

[leslutdepointedulac]

Loustat literally every other book:

Louis: never ever leave me. If you leave me I'll never talk to you ever again, I just wouldn't cope. I'll hate you forever and ever if you leave me

Lestat: of course, I wouldn't dream of it. Promise me you'll never leave me either

Louis: obviously, I can't bear to be without you

Louis (literally 2 minutes later): yeah, no. I'm over it. I've kind of had enough of you now ngl. Bye bitch!

(Louis and Lestat reunite sometime later)

Louis: *gasp* Lestat, babe, I've missed you sooooooo much. Why did you leave me, that was so fucking rude of you. You promised you'd never go!

Lestat (knows full well Louis' a hypocritical lying bitch): i'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me? It'll never happen again I promise, my moon, my stars, my reason for being, I love you sm

Louis: i love more my darling dumbass, my sunshine on a rainy day, obviously I forgive you, just don't let it happen again okay. I'll simply pass away otherwise

Lestat: never ever

(Louis proceeds to leave again. And so the never-ending cycle continues 😒)

#i love them your honor #my favourite idiots #lestat owns the title of dumbest dumbass to ever exist and rightfully so #but sometimes i think louis should borrow that title every once in a while #because for someone who claims to be a big brain know-it-all pretentious guy #louis sure can be stupid sometimes #but hey. i adore them regardless #they're still forever my favourite boys #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #loustat #interview with the vampire #iwtv #vampire chronicles #tvc #my vampire chronicles

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *helping plan Anakin and Padme’s anniversary vacation they’re all going on* Don’t worry, I got the brunch menus taken care of. I found five different types of sangria that I wanna try this weekend so I’m getting a fuckton of fruit and vodka. I don’t even think Fives will have any allergic reactions to any of these. Not like that time with the orange blossom honey that was apparently pollinated by an avocado tree.

Cody: I mean. I guess sangria doesn’t have as much alcohol as most, but considering it’s gonna be like nine in the morning, Imma tell you right now, whatever amount of vodka the recipe asks for, halve it.

Obi-Wan: It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make but I will also be bringing twice as much wine to make up for it.

Cody: Lovely. And the food menu?

Obi-Wan: …I knew I was forgetting something there…

Rex: *patting Cody on the shoulder* He’s a keeper.

Cody: Yeah, I keep him indoors for everyone’s safety. Mostly alcohol poisoning.

Rex: Solid plan.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #commander cody #captain rex #post clone wars #codywan #there is nothing gayer than brunch sangria #mimosas are for straight brunch #i love how I can drop dumbass fact like fives being allergic to avocados (jealous) and y’all ignore it #sometimes you think of yummy recipes and forget that other shit exists lol #I’m allergic to honey pollinated by strawberries and grapes lol #dad thinks it’s impossible to be allergic to honey but tell that to my closing throat covered in sores #okay technically I’m allergic to all honey but those ones close my throat. cherries too

[cerise-on-top]

hi :D if you do character x character (with possibly x reader, too) headcanons, may i request nikprice hcs? aghh.. i love them so much, but there's (in my opinion) little content of them compared to other ships.. if you do have to add reader into it too thats okay :) i don't mind poly (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

but besides that how are you doing? i hope youre doing good :]

Hey there! I'm doing well, thank you! I've actually got five days off next week, which I'm really looking forward to! Plus I get to go to my regular department again too soon enough! But unfortunately, the other apprentice left me with so much work ^^;

NikPrice and NikPrice x Reader

NikPrice:

Although the two of them may be a bit older than some of their peers, they can still be considered idiots, especially when they’re with one another. Sometimes they get weirdly competitive with each other, which can result in either of them getting hurt. Nikolai leads Chimera and Price leads the TF141, both of them sometimes need to show off just how good they are at some things. Nikolai is usually a pretty calm guy, but he does get a bit cocky with Price, so he’ll instigate some competitions. Who can carry the most groceries. Who can find the most dogs and take pictures with them. Who will be favored the most for the week among their boys. It’s just dumb things, and Nikolai does try to cheat his way through most of them, but Price knows him well enough by now to know how he will try to weasel his way into victory. Price usually plays fair and forces Nikolai to do the same. The winner gets bragging rights and that’s about it. Sometimes they poker on who pays for dinner, but they don’t really mess around too much when it comes to more serious stuff. However, they both also compete with each other to show off just how good of a partner they are, even if there’s no need to do that anymore. They can both be proud as peacocks and always need to outdo one another.

Although it may sound stupid, the two of them do spar with each other from time to time. Since they’re about equal in strength it’s actually quite interesting to watch the two of them fight, both have a pretty good technique as well. However, Nikolai has more experience under his belt since he’s quite a bit older than Price. Again, he’s also not above cheating by trying to entice Price with just about anything he can think of. They’re adults, they’re leaders, but they are still morons with each other. Sometimes they fight over the TV remote when Price wants to watch his football game and Nikolai wants to tease him. Price gets mad every time he misses the football game just because he lost to his stupid lover. Nikolai gets a good laugh out of it every time. Although he may love Price more than anyone else, he can be a playful and cocky bastard at times. He makes up for it by taking Price to a real football game in a stadium, though. Can’t enrage the boyfriend too much all the time. Price is usually overjoyed when he does since he gets really into it. There’s nothing better than enjoying some football with Nikolai. Unless Nikolai teases Price about his team losing. In that case the two of them won’t be talking more than necessary for an hour. However, Price goes back to normal after the initial anger of his team losing has worn off.

Nikolai is actually a chef of the master class. He can cook just about anything and make it well at that too. Since he’s been pretty much everywhere at this point he’s learned quite a few recipes from all around the world. He also knows how to use his spices well. Though, his favorite recipes to make are still Russian ones. The two of them cook together often, it relaxes them. Besides, Price gets the privilege of eating Nikolai’s pirozhki before anyone else does. It’s an honor to him since he’s never had anything better in his life. Loves being Nikolai’s taste tester as well. Price isn’t as good a cook as Nikolai, but he does like showing his appreciation for all the good food by cooking something in return. However, his food is kind of bland. It could be worse, but it could also use a lot more spices. Nikolai used to tease Price about that before, but he’s stopped since as Price really does put a lot of effort into cooking for Nikolai. The latter really isn’t so mean to genuinely hurt his boyfriend like that. He does give Price some constructive criticism, though. Offers to help with cooking next time, but both of them know that Nikolai will just take the lead. But in the end, they both really do enjoy cooking with each other, regardless of who makes the main dish. They also get really chatty during it.

NikPrice x Reader

Considering how long they’ve been with each other, they've gotten used to it, but you genuinely cannot cuddle them during summer. You’ll become a sweaty mess and won’t be able to sleep at all since they’re both very warm. Nikolai more so than Price. However, the two of them can cuddle each other just fine since they’re used to warmer nights because of all the missions they’ve gone on. However, it’s pretty nice in winter. They’re two big, burly and warm men who love to make you feel toasty. Price is actually a pretty cuddly guy and Nikolai can be too with the right people. If you’re not on the cuddly side then they’ll settle for giving you a pat on the back every once in a while or just holding your hand. But Price loves touching you and Nikolai. He doesn’t need to do it every single waking moment, but it’s nice to hold your loved ones. Nikolai can go either way, but he’s pretty cuddly with Price. Sometimes the two of them fight over who gets to be the big spoon, other times they’ll just plop into each other’s arms. If you’re shorter than them then you’ll likely get sandwiched between them. If you’re as tall or taller than them then they might ask you to take on the role of big spoon. Sure, they won’t mind it when you’re shorter than them, but they’ll chuckle since you’re just a little backpack.

Both of them will try to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. Even if you’re capable of that already, they’ll teach you something anyway. They’re both military men, they know what they’re talking about. Besides, it’s not as unlikely as one might think that you might get hurt because of them. You need to be able to defend yourself. They’ll take turns teaching you, improving your form and all. They’ll sometimes even deliberately spar in front of you so you could learn something from them fighting with each other. They won’t be as rough with you as they are with each other, especially not if you’re not part of the military, but they’ll be diligent in teaching you either way. If you’re part of the military then they’ll be rougher with you, but not as rough as with each other. Nikolai and Price have known each other for so long, they know where each other’s limits are. You’re the newest addition, so there’s still things they need to get to know. But I can assure you they will take good care of you. They’ll also reward you if you’re doing especially well during your little training lessons. Nikolai tries to bribe you into doing well by offering to cook your favorite meal if you do so.

The two of them actually spoil you rotten, especially if you don’t earn as much money as they do. Nikolai earns even more money than Price, so he has quite a lot to spend. Loves buying you and him all kinds of things. These can range from something useful to just something he saw and thought you might like. Price doesn’t like being indebted to people, so he always tries to buy Nikolai something back, even insisting that he shouldn’t buy him as many things. Nikolai never listens to him in that regard. And since Price buys Nikolai things he has to buy something for you as well. Sometimes it’s just your favorite kind of cake, sometimes it’s some nice and expensive jewelry. It’s always a mystery with Price. You don’t have to feel obligated to buy them something either. You’re more than welcome to if you have the finances to do so, but if you usually barely get by then you really shouldn’t have to. In fact, if you don’t have a lot of money then the two of them will pay for just about anything you need. Clothes, food, other necessities. It doesn’t matter. Together they have more money than they know what to do with anyway. It’s nice to spend it on someone you love and make them happy anyway. Don’t pay them back, they’ll find your bank account and return the money. They love you, let them pamper you like the little royalty you are.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #john price #nikolai x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #nikprice #nikprice x reader #I never really thought about writing charxchar on this blog in all honesty #but I suppose I can do it if more requests like this come in :] I doubt it but I'm willing to do it #I loved working on this because they may be smart but they're also complete and utter dumbasses #they're smart when it counts let's leave it at that #I actually have thought about being in a relationship with NikPrice before but I sometimes throw Graves into the mix as well #there's nothing wrong about yearning to be in a relationship with some men who could buy you something nice #and who would actually love you #see fictional characters are actually really good because they will always love you if you want them to #ugh I wanna cuddle these idiots so bad which is funny because I'm actually touch averse 95% of the time #but I just know that a good thorough cuddle session from those men would put me in a really good mood

[vibrantiris]

“cecil is a lovable dumbass” he is NOT a dumbass, he just struggles picking up on social cues and forgets that he isn’t actually talking to a virtual diary when he’s on the air

#look i KNOW he’s SO bad at maintaining confidentiality #but i dont think it’s bc he’s a dumbass #he just forgets that he promised he wouldn’t say anything until it’s already out #and he made all those tapes of himself when he was a kid #so his whole life is basically tied to the radio show #i also kinda think it’s commentary on social media #there’s been a lot of pent up grief and other emotions in cecil #which can lead to overbroadcasting your life sometimes in order to cope #that or nobody actually listens to the show LMAO #so cecil just talks into thin air inconsequentially #cecil palmer #welcome to night vale #wtnv

[mars-ipan]

they're so GROSSSSSS (<- desperately wants what they have)

alt color under the cut:

#martzipan #komahina #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #2 final colors bc my brain is allergic to desaturation. i needed to have One Bright One for my sanity #anyways i think they have this thing when they finally get together #where komaeda will just say. Anything basically. in an attempt to fluster hinata #and it does fluster him! but also sometimes he decides to do something about it #which flusters KOMAEDA even harder bc the dumbass forgets that like. affection can happen to him #which makes HINATA flustered again because 'you can say all that but one kiss is overwhelming?!?' #and they do this. all the time. especially early on before they're really used to each other #and they're gross about it. they do this in public. everyone else has to watch them do this like. thrice daily #they're awful. and also i envy them #tried some new things this time. more character interaction practice which is fun #i think this is likee... the third???? kiss i've ever drawn??? good for them #but i care more about the lineart. i tried to think about line weight at least a little bit :] it is Difficult lmao #this one made me realize i need to do a hips study lmao. also a neck study #in other words a girl needs to practice her joints more #there's still smth bugging me abt hinata's face in the 3rd one. but. i don't care it's done i'm not touching it

[quackarooz]

Its the way that I've been replaying the games recently and every now and then I feel compelled to rant to my friend about how STUPID Phoenix Wright is

#I love the guy #But I get sick of him sometimes #I am with Ema Skye when I say I'm an Edgeworth fangirl and A Wright supporter #That being said I'm excited to play AAI so I can be an Edgeworth fangirl and supporter #For some reason I could never find it as a kid #Also the way that Phoenix would be like 'ughh this guy' when Gumshoe is around?? LIKE YEA THAT GUY WHO SAVED UR ASS FROM THE MAFIA #AND RISKED HIS JOB FOR YOUUU well more for Edgeworth but you benefited from it #YES HE'S A DUMBASS BUT YOU AIN'T GOT THE RIGHT TO JUDGE #Your dumbassery is one of the reasons Mia can't completely just dip #Ace attorney #Phoenix Wright #Mia Fey #Ema Skye #Excited to get to Apollo Justice to see her again #Miles Edgeworth

[princeofthequeens]

okay but dream experiencing the worst sensory overload after he's free because the world's gained several billion people since the 1910s and he's been living in almost complete silence for over a century. and also he associates loud noises with bad memories now because the only times he heard anything while in the fishbowl was either roderick or alex burgess demanding shit from him or jessamy getting shot. and he chalks it up to adjusting to life as the king of dreams in 2022, but the amount of noise and dreams and thoughts are catching up to him, until hob finally notices his bf's on the verge of a serious mental breakdown and introduces him to noise cancelling headhones and weighted blankets. and now hob's not only a safe place/person for him, he's also somewhere quiet. not in a stuck-in-a-fucking-fishbowl-in-the-basement-with-no-way-out kind of quiet, it's just peace and blankets and occasional cuddles while hob gripes about his students' grammar.

#part two of my fishbowl trauma related rambles ig #listen according to a quick google search the world population in 1916 was barely 2 billion #and that's not including the animals because we know he governs their dreams too #so living in suffocating silence for a century only to escape and instantly be bombarded with almost four times the amount of people alone #literally the most overwhelming fucking sensory overload ever #and because dream is dream I know he's not going to realize something's off and he can ask for help #so it's up to hob who arguably has been closest to him to figure out his undiagnosed neurodivergent bf is about to jump off a cliff #a metaphorical one but he's still on the edge #and sure dream probably has heard of weighted blankets and headphones but he's not going to consider actually getting one to use #especially not for himself #because he's a dumbass who still needs to learn that sometimes humanity is capable of inventing useful things #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #the sandman

[basslinegrave]

nooooo dont turn us into marketable plushies noooooooo -

#finally theyre done i finished gan ning sometime in june then couldnt get the energy to finish ling tong #he was just naked for few weeks #then i spedran his clothes in 2 days #everything for him is removable so if i ever get the motivation to make the dw9 outfit i can #same for gan ning but i would have to take apart his headband and necklace cuz i didnt add velcro there like a dumbass #dynasty warriors #gan ning #ling tong #dw #my art

[risuwu]

anji mains stay 10 feet away from me

#sometimes i let his cpu kick my ass so i can see the part where he says ‘are you falling for me😘’ #anji #baiken #guilty gear #dumbass draws

[theygender]

I love being in a long term relationship. Took my girl out for her birthday yesterday and for some reason my lip just decided to split and start bleeding nonstop mid-meal and all I could think about was how if this was our first date or smth I would have been mortified. Instead since we've been together for seven years she got to watch me be a dumbass trying to continue taking bites of my really good food in between staunching the blood from my lip with a napkin while complaining the entire time. And she still enthusiastically allowed me to fuck her brains out afterwards

#sometimes i think it would be cool for us to get another partner but dating is so AWKWARD. how did i ever do it #im much more comfortable when i can just be a complete shameless dumbass around someone i love #rambling #blood mention

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[outlying-hyppocrate]

in line to the bathroom just to cry!!

#random thoughts #gender dysphoria. #felt it especially this morning when some lady from this organization that worked with our school called me christine. #CHRISTINE. #do i honestly look like a christine?? #(not her fault but still.) #but she kept fucking misgendering me. i bet it was the shirt i was wearing. #normally i wear more layers so as to make my body less. shaped. #BUT I RAN OUT OF NICE ONES AND SO I HAD TO WEAR ANOTHER. #it used to be my favorite shirt but now it is not. i hate it. #either it is too small for me or i am too large for it. and either way i want to fucking stab myself because of it #augh. wanted to cry earlier. but didn't. #still sort of do when i think about it. i get misgendered often but. augh. #and the comment my mother made a while ago. about. how can i be a boy if all my friends are girls? #WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE NOT MET HALF THE BOYS IN MY SCHOOL. FUCKING IDIOT DUMBASS. HAVE YOU NO COMMON SENSE #TO KNOW THAT TIMES ARE CHANGING AND WE ARE NOT STUCK IN YOUR WARPED PERCEPTION OF GENDER NORMS?? HELLO?? #i hate my body so much unironically. if i could fix it somehow. #i have been trying to fix it so hard for so long but it hasn't fucking worked and it's gone in the OPPOSITE WAY. and i am RUINING MY BODY. #AND I FUCKING HATE IT. #sometimes it feels as if nothing is good. i want to shave my head again and be perpertually ugly. #i need new hair. #i need to fix everything. #please. #i have no motivation to do it but i need to do it. #i know i'm a boy. i just want to be a boy for everyone else.

[blinkpen]

don't ask how i got here but i am currently imagining Zoe as a popular twitch streamer and whether he plays videos game or does art depends on his mood that day and if you complain about him doing one and not the other bc you don’t care about this half of the content do the other thing instead he just bans you with no other reaction or warning given he doesn’t even blink

the only tell is a slight furrowing of his vestigial eyes so every time his face does this number everyone in the chat explodes in a delighted frenzy to figure out who just got themself launched

(his ability to pay attention to both whatever he is doing And the chat simultaneously at all times is very handy, and so so bad for his psyche)

#doodles #oc babble #zoetrope #this is a public facing persona he keeps his affect on the proper setting #and he Affects the tell too #he can remain TOTALLY stonefaced but he knows people look for it #this isn't even just a haha funny thing in this noncanon goofery either #he uses the fact people just assume his vestigial eyes Always convey his True intent to fool them further sometimes #zoe: do you really think someone infamous for being manipulative would have a tell that blatant and youre the first to game it #things zoe and lam have in common: why yes i will let you think i'm a dumbass you've fooled but really im the one taking YOU for a ride #its just when zoe pulls the rug out from under you there's possibly a pit of spikes waiting for you