#I can tell how it ends and it's gonna be artsy fartsy and not satisfying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dangan-happy · 3 years

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(Too much artsy, not enough fartsy. We talked about this, clown!) This is for Mondo , Gonta , and Kokichi! . Yesterday I was just trying to hang out with my girlfriend in gym (im pan shes lesbian) And this group of 4 people kept saying how "we need jesus" and to make a long story short a fight happened we "lost" (my girlfriend desfused it but i feel as if i lost) and we have had problems like this with those people before and i just dont know what to do.

Truth is pal, there’s always going to be fuckwads like that who will be judgmental over something that doesn’t concern them. I’m sorry to hear that these 4 people that came up to ‘ya couldn’t keep their mouths shut. I woulda put them in their place if I were around.

You don’t “need Jesus”, whether you choose to have that as your belief or not, it’s not something that people need to be throwing at ya as if it’s the only option when that’s not true at all. Those kinda people really piss me off.

I don’t know if you mean problems with those specific 4 people or in general, but you’ve got to remember that shit they say doesn’t matter. It’ll feel like you lost but you really didn’t. Hell, I think you should talk to your girlfriend about what happened. Since she defused the situation, maybe she can teach you how to learn when to walk away from a problem that isn’t worth getting so upset about. Yea, easier said than done, but you know; that’s your girlfriend and I’m sure she’d be more than willing to help you with this.

Hi anon! Hey, hey! Congrats on having a girlfriend you sly fox! She's one lucky girl. I know you can't see, but I'm totally raising my eyebrows at you. Ok, enough teasing, gym class is like, one of those places where anything can go wrong. Especially if you start something, but that's obviously not the case here. Ok, I swear I'm focusing. Ok, so I'm not totally up to date on my bible fanfiction, but I don't believe Jesus ever said "harass that one couple in gym". Jeez, if anything they need Jesus/whatever deity they want to pound some common sense into them. Brain cells are kinda scarce in your gym class, huh? You and your girlfriend must have them all. Woah holy shit, a fight started? I wish I was there. I'm short as hell, but I can still kick people in the knees or something. I'm like a really angry chihuahua.

Anywho, kudos to your girlfriend for de-escalating things with the power of most of the braincells in the room, but I totally get how you feel. I'm kind of a competitive person, and if it's not a clear victory, I feel kinda robbed. Yeah, I think that was the best way things could have ended, as unsatisfying as it is. I'm glad no one got hurt. Mainly you and your girlfriend. I'm not exactly gonna care if those jackasses get hurt. Aw man, this is a reoccurring thing? Well, I have the solution for you! Murder! Just kidding, don't do that. If you feel comfortable, I would tell an adult, because this counts as harassment, and you deserve so much better than that. Talking things out with people is always good, but if this is a constant thing, you should possibly try to get them off your back. Most schools have a policy against biased harassment especially, and maybe you can use that to your advantage.

Basically, the fight isn't over. It's satisfying to hit someone, but now you're playing on my field! Outsmarting people. Use the tools you have and use those to lay some bigger hits. Bruises fade, but marks on public records for bullying don't just saying. It's totally up to you how far you take it. The most important is getting these dumbasses off of you, so I would start there. You've been through a lot, so I for one will look the other way if you want some revenge.

Be sure to keep your head throughout this. You're the one in the right, and I would talk things over with your girlfriend before you do anything. Playing dirty is always fun, but take the high road and hit below the belt with tactics over the belt if you know what I mean. Whatever happens, you're the better person. You're just vibing and doing nothing wrong. People like those people never get too far in the world, so hey if you're patient, you'll probably see them crash and burn on their own eventually. Good luck, you got this ok? Say hi to your girlfriend for me!!

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #mondo owada #kokichi oma #mod 11037 #mod kokichi

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sanguinesprout · 7 years

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It’s now or never, let’s goooo~~!! (aka. semi-serious, encouraging-ish intro post of sorts) ☆ [Repost 160417]

Hmm, alrighty *pretends to crack knuckles* let’s go lil fingers that are currently really cold, do your stuff! Just do it hurgh! ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ

I’ve always wanted to make a blog, to just have a space of my own where I could just write out my feelings and post things of my own creation, but my gloomy little avoidant mind kept deciding it wasn’t such a good idea and prevented it from actually materialising. A blog like this is so common but in my mind it was such a big deal, something that could potentially end up going wrong somehow and cause me more anguish. Seeing other people being able to write freely made me feel sorrowful and envious of the courage they have. Ultimately I felt more and more pathetic and ashamed of myself for being so afraid of something so ordinary. This is just one example that shows the extent my avoidance and recently acknowledged paranoia (which I’m gonna totally kick the butt of!! ☆)

I decided a long while back that I no longer wanted to see things in a negative light, so now I try my best to see the good side of things and take inspiration from others instead of instantly feeling demoralised or inferior and it has proven to be much more motivational and uplifting ♡ There has literally been years and years of me desiring to do things with no actual action and I don’t want to put any of it off anymore. There just isn’t any reason to, and this goes for a lot of the things in my life too!

I created this account over a year ago and I spent a long time trying to encourage myself and give myself the time I needed to psych up to use it. It takes so much mental effort just to get myself moving, and only one small negative criticism or experience to have me falling back to square one again. My motivation levels always fluctuated because of my reoccurring fears and lack of confidence. When I finally thought I was mentally prepared enough, it all plummeted into the depths of darkness due to the onslaught of old and new physical health problems. But I am stronger than I think and these things won’t hold me back anymore! I won’t be beat so easily, I can keep fighting hoohah!! ᕙ (;｀⊥ ＾★)┐

This isn’t my first attempt at a blog or tumblr account, in fact it’s my third one, the previous ones poofed when real life got too difficult and I lost the motivation try keep up with the fandoms which I sat awkwardly reblogging a few things from. Being in a fandom was nice to experience, but at the same time uncomfortable and anxiety inducing as I never felt like I could truly fit in. I didn’t want to impose the misery of my real life on anyone nor force myself even more to pretend to be okay when I wasn’t, so I chose to just disappear. This being the case on some other similar occasions also and is such an avoidant thing to do, but at the time it gave me some relief and I hoped to re-appear someday when I got better but it just... it didn’t happen and I eventually had to give up on that idea. I also kept thinking they would probably resent me and that it would be awkward because our common interest was lost because I fell behind. I worry that I was just being selfish and taking an easy but inconsiderate way out and feel very regretful but I guess it has also presented me with opportunities to try refocus myself and learn from my mistakes.

I've become very aware of the impact of my avoidant habits and paranoid behaviour even more in the recent years and naturally, as they are neither healthy nor beneficial, I wish to do away with them as much as possible. I’ve always had an inkling my irrational fears and thoughts were not just those of social anxiety and when I stumbled upon the existence of AVPD I had a total epiphany, much like many other people I’ve read about. Seeing how I wasn’t alone in how I felt is relieving but knowing they are also suffering so much is too painful of a realisation. I want to help them but I feel I can’t because I have trouble even helping myself and everything just hurts so much.

Someday... someday soon I will break out of my bubble of sorrow and I’ll scatter sunshine and sparkles over all these rain clouds and make rainbows appear instead, I believe in myself, I believe I can do it! ✧*。ヾ(｡･∀･｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

That was pretty cheesy and random, my bad lol but so is this~ I came across the word ‘sanguine’ recently and it really stuck in my mind. It means ‘optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation’ (or can mean ‘blood red’ also lolol). That’s the kind of person I want to be or the mindset I want to have (not red coloured and ideally without the bad situations too but I guess it doesn’t quite fulfil its meaning then and well beggars can’t be choosers anyways haha~).

Anyways, I’m at the point in time where I see I need to change now or be forever regretful and continue to feel like a burden to myself and others around me. I want to break out of this unhealthy cycle and move forward with confidence. I feel like I’ve lost part of who I really am, after all these years of being unsure, pretending and restricting myself to conform to the idea that I had to be a certain way to be liked and to the demons in my mind telling me I’m worthless, undeserving and weird, because... I’m not! (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) ☆ ...well maybe I am kinda... pretty darn weird, but it’s okay to be different!

I just want to be myself and I want to be happy. I want my loved ones to not be worried, to see me move out of my slump, to have someone they can finally be proud of and someone who can help them when needed, because although they may have contributed towards my avoidant personality, I love them and I want to see them happy and stress free too.

Time is precious and although I feel I have wasted a lot of it with all of my inaction, frustration and failures, there is still time to make things right. I want to look to the future and enjoy life, because (as much as the phrase irked me initially, it’s been super useful and true) YOLO!! ☆ I mean maybe there is another life but who knows what I’ll be then. I don’t think I could accomplish much as a cucumber or a snail. (Ooh my! That gives me an idea for something artsy fartsy! :D)

Making small progress is much better than none at all, so I’m going to try hard to keep moving up, keep being positive, proactive and productive! (Look at all them p's alliteration whoooo~!! Someone give me a gold star lol, it feels like I’ve written an essay and it was actually a little less stressful than a real one too hurr :B)

I feel somewhat proud of myself that I’ve already made progress even though I may not have been recording it here. Seeing the benefits it’s had on my general health and mood is a nice feeling and my motivation levels are continuing to increase from knowing that I can really make a change. It’s the fear from irrational thoughts that prevent you from going ahead, but once you stop to take the time to rationalise them, you’ll feel much more assured and motivated. Never forget that every bit of progress no matter how small or insignificant it may seem deserves a pat on the back! Reinforce the good feelings and behaviour, not the bad! Even if it seems terrible now, there’s always tomorrow and there’s the great big future ahead to be looking forward to! C:

Avpd is so awkward, geez... I wouldn’t even wish AVPD on even my worst enemy (well AVPD is one of my worst enemies so it wouldn’t work anyways unless it’s that thing where two negatives cancel each other out and become a positive lol).

It’s so strange, sometimes when I write I can’t tell if I am writing like myself or someone else..? I think maybe because I don’t write often, I forget that I can write something other than jokey informal things (which is closer to how I talk). Talking and writing is different though, so I guess it makes sense yoooo~! I can’t spend too long being serious, it brings on those unwanted dreary and negative feels, I don’t want to feel melancholy anymore ._.

Before I started writing this post I wrote the about page for my blog and actually struggled with it quite a bit. One of my main goals is to just have the courage to just put myself out there and not feel ashamed, I really hope to get over this asap as it bothers me so much. It’s no exciting piece of literature of course but I’m happy I was able to do it and be satisfied with it. It was a load of incomprehensible waffling at first and I got sidetracked from writing the simple things I initially wanted to, but I edited the unnecessary parts away. It was nice to finally write a slice of my feelings down and something truthful about myself and at first it felt like a waste getting rid of some of it, but I think I’ll probably save those words for future creative inspo so that worked out okay too. I kept catching myself stepping into the negative thought zone, but I’m glad I noticed and removed it in the end because it was unneeded. That’ll teach mr.snarkypants negative mind not to mess with me! (╯°Д°）╯︵/(.□ . \)

I have lots of other things I want to write and say but I’ll save them for another time as this is getting much lengthier than I wanted it to be, but better out than in I guess, no one likes trapped thoughts or mind constipation amirite..? *crickets chirp*. By writing this, I managed to encourage myself a little more and even give myself some inspiration and creative direction, woot! I just need to keep it up! I won’t let myself be afraid to write about my fears anymore, I’ll rationalise all that is irrational and I’ll pour my true feelings into this blog, with a dash of silliness and rainbows ♡

Everything is easy in theory when just spoken or written, but I know it’ll be difficult to actually put in practice. There is still doubt and negativity lingering in my mind of course, but for now motivation for change is at the forefront. I feel as though maybe I’ve come across as naively optimistic here, but even if I don’t get the exact result I want, at least I tried and that in itself is a great improvement. I just don’t want to give up so easily this time, I don’t want to fall into the spiral of hopelessness I’ve entered many times before and I don’t want anyone else to either. Negativity will have no power over me anymore! (*｀皿´*ﾉ)ﾉ ⌒ ●~*

I spent way to long writing, re-reading and editing this, worrying about spelling/grammar when normally I don’t even grammar, I love engrish~! lol (selective perfectionism, if that’s a thing? If so, stop hassling me!). I also wonder if it’s disjointed and incoherent or if I come across as a bad or foolish person... I need to stop worrying so much over silly insignificant things too, like even where to put the read more cut was an overly arduous task and I still feel iffy about it, but just saw tumblr automatically cuts them to stop clutter lol. All in all I just hope my writing makes some sense, my brain was beginning to get cobwebs, so it was good to get the cogs moving again since I hadn’t sat down and written for so long heh. My attempts at being humorous, fancy and poetic need work though for sure haha~

If I don’t post this now, I’ll keep hesitating and back out, like I’ve always been doing, okay okay imma do it! *presses button with eyes closed and accidentally deletes it all* (huh damn my post didn’t showing up in the tags, must be cause I haven’t used this account properly yet... how anti-climatic, oh welp it’s not like I actually wanted someone to read this or anything, b-baka! orz)

To anyone that happens to come across this and actually read it and found it a little interesting or relatable, thank you and hopefully it’ll give a little insight into the type of blog this is and the oddity person that resides here~! If you didn’t read any of it and just think I’m a strange-ass alien, it’s okay too lol! But thanks for taking your time to look anyways~ ^^

I hope everyone can find the confidence and resolve to be themselves (if needed) and be happy! Keep going, you got this, you can do it! *hugs and sprinkles of optimism* *ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊ ♡

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