#I can’t wear polyester so 90% of clothes anyway. also I hate it when you wear less fashionable clothes that it seems like you’re letting

[breaktheicemp3]

I don’t like fashion aesthetics because I cannot stand looking at people in just a visual + stylistic sense for too long. for my own mental wellbeing. Also don’t think I could get into certain genres of music and/or subcultures because for whatever reason I get uncomfortable when the influences feel a little too catholic

#I mostly need to feel detached from what I look like to feel happy #I don’t vibe well with either makeup or having my hair or figure needing to look a certain way #and idk it feels like too much work to have to dig into some of the (and there will be no one can fight me on this) unsavory influences #visually or ideologically of certain aesthetics #and the thing about being catholic yeah I don’t know anything about goth anything but that’s why I’m kinda meh on it #also don’t like thinking of things in feminine and masculine terms or feeling like im too much of either #idk im kinda a boring vanilla whatever etc person in many areas of my life #which is fine I think being comfortable is positive for me. #the only thing remarkable about my appearance might just be the thickness of the lens of my glasses otherwise it’s just nondescript #clothes like plain lounge pants shirts #i tried being more fashionable or put together last fall but overtime I just wore more comfortable clothing #I can’t wear polyester so 90% of clothes anyway. also I hate it when you wear less fashionable clothes that it seems like you’re letting #yourself go. like maybe. maybe I’m just comfortable. I don’t see why ppl put so much stock into appearances #ofc I can’t completely say that because in the back of my mind I’ve Always thought about how my appearance affects people’s reactions to me #Idk I realize that sounds unremarkable. which is also how I feel. and idk what I’m good at or really what makes me happy. so. idk. #I realize that’s not smth you can base your personhood on what you’re good at. I wish I could at least find a passion of any sort #other than lying around or overthinking mindlessly #omg and I keep on thinking about how I have to fix all my bad habits and become an amazingly charming person out of necessity in time for #school. now i just hope I can become at peace with myself so I can do whatever I need to do #rymacore