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madeupoflowers · 2 years

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Your next partner & the connection

(has an 18+ section)❤️‍🔥

❗️You’ve been warned🫡

This is my first 18+ reading so beware of any triggers and please if this isn’t your cup of tea then skip this reading. I know this isn’t for everyone. Most importantly take what resonates. Nothing is forced and set in stone. Free will is and will ALWAYS be in our hands. Remember that, love!

I hope you enjoy. Take care!🖤

Piles 1-2 are top row

Piles 3-4 are bottom row

🖤💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤💋🖤

Pile 1

The connection: I feel your next partnership will be a little traditional in terms of roles, there will be one person with dominant masucline energy and another with prominent feminine energy though apply based off of your preferences not entirely gender. This person wants to take charge and court you. They don’t appear emotional and seem strict and hardened. I see them being physically larger than you either in height, weight or musculature. I see someone standing over another person. Even if this is someone shorter, they have an aura of being so much larger(lol I heard “when ya girl 5’5 but got a personality that’s 6’5”). This person doesn’t fuck around, they want a real relationship so if you wanted a fling, maybe choose another pile since that is NOT the energy given at all here. The masculine wants to give you the world. Honestly, they may not care if you want to sit pretty I mean they love you either way. Buying anything you desire and cherishing you, such a hot energy. Warning though they are stubborn especially in traditional ways. So this could be someone who wants their partner to stay home while they provide and care which could for many be what causes some conflicts. Also, this person takes their sweet ass time lol. “What’s the rush?” They like to chill and do their thing, no drama here they hate that shit. It will take some time but once you get close their emotional and sweet side will really start to show. I’m gonna be real here, this person gives “Daddy” vibes if you know what I mean yes that can apply to a female its just the energy.

(rider waite: EMP, 4OW, WRLD, 9OP, KNOP, KOC)

Some steamy details(18+): Ooooh yeah they wanna be the dominant and “experienced” partner. They are passionate and may literally wanna get down and dirty in random places. Body worship mainly on the feminine’s part. Like’s you all dressed up and feeling your best. I see them wanting you or sneaking up on you randomly when y’all get back or getting ready to go to a nice event or restaurant. Male or female choosing this pile, this person likes their partner more feminine dressed, backless dresses, spaghetti straps and I see lots of flowers especially flower detail on shirt straps, lace and especially pantyhose/stockings. I am getting for some that this person lowkey likes innocence and making someone turn “freak” if you know where I’m getting at. Corruption type beat here. Not malicious though! Though, here is some tea, the masculine is all dominant and mighty in public yet I feel in private they lowkey want you to kick their ass in bed(IM TOTALLY FUCKING WITH Y’ALL). But seriously, don’t mind you being more crazy and fierce in bed and may be a deep desire of theirs. Remember in the first part of this reading I mentioned them taking time to reveal their vulnerable and sweet side? Well once they do and are safe to be “weaker” around you then they will reveal this submissive desire of theirs. This is funny cause it’s a proven fact that many people in power have secret desires to be dominated by those no one would expect.

(sex magic tarot: KNOC, SUN, 9OS, EMPRSS, 2OP, AOS)

(you got my favorite song and the singer is also the guy in the photo you chose!)

Pile 2

The connection: This person is fast moving and likes to GET SHIT DONE. At times their bossy and rushed nature will step on some toes especially yours. I do thing y’all may bicker especially playfully(so no worries!). I think this relationship will have many bickering arguments that will be made up as quickly as they started. There is a likely chance that the reason why this person is snappy at times and needs things done their way is due to internal issues and trauma even. Other’s might’ve not have truly stood up to this person or their words went on this person’s “deaf” ears. However, I feel that’s gonna change with you. You will be someone that this individual will genuinely feel that they can give some space on the throne for and brings the hope that you won’t leave and cave like everyone else. I know this isn’t a healthy coping or habit but I do feel this person is truly kind but has been forced to grow a hardened and controlling aura due to past pains and disappointments by those they should’ve been able to rely on. I heard “Fuck it I’ll be the person I rely on and rely on ONLY.” It’s sad but I’m glad this person will want you to grow a stable connection and build a foundation that you both can dictate together. Lol.

(rider waite: 8OW, CHRT, 5OW, AOC, 7OP, AOP)

Some steamy details(18+): He/she like’s playful flirting and teasing like the female on the card is grazing the male’s leg under the table. This person likes topping for sure and hugging. Like’s feeling like the strong and protective partner so will literally want to squeeze you when y’all hug or embrace(wink wink). Despite this person’s need for control, I think they will cave to you eventually and want you to snap them in shape. Warning for some of y’all so if this triggers you then don’t accept this specific message because free will is a thing okay? This person could like threesomes or foursomes. Like’s roleplaying. Gets off on the outside world not knowing what crazy stuff goes on behind closed doors. May not want you too revealing or talking about y’all’s bedroom life since they like the mystery. This sound’s so Scorpio esque like Scorpio venus and mars specifically. Like’s low cut tops but nothing else too revealing. I keep seeing a person in an emerald colored long sleeved, low cut top with a black headband which frames their long brown hair perfectly. Very specific message but I see someone here who fits the description, really turning on their partner with that look. Take what resonates. Sorry if I couldn’t get too many juicy details, I truly feel this person wants to conceal that energy which makes sense if they want their sexual life a mystery to outsiders, except you and them.

(sexual magic tarot: 2OW, 6OS, AOC, QOP, WHEEL, HP)

Pile 3

The connection: They are guarded especially energetically and I feel they have every right to be. This person was taken advantage of financially or had their kindness taken for weakness. Maybe they bought people nice things or lent money to help. Leaving them with nothing. Now they want to conceal themselves from being read energetically too since if say they have money or fame, you won’t know until they let you know. I feel anything grand or gifted about them will be hidden at least in the beginning. Anyways, this person will scope you out and once they see the potential of something good then they will take the risk towards you. I feel this person isn’t very extroverted or experimental or at first. Very cautious of new chances and may feel it’s too good to be true due to past disappointments so you may have to get them out of their shell a bit. Be aware he/she is prone to falling into stagnant energy and unhealthy habits or forms of escapism. They may kind of fall into codependent relationships and it’s possible you could be their “savior” in some way. Sorry if this since this isn’t exactly what many want to hear but remember a lot of this person’s energy is being hidden and protected so this is literally just the tip of the iceberg, I’m sure they have a good heart, simply are victims of a painful event or situation that did them horrible and dirty. They are still healing when you both start getting together.

(rider waite: HP, 9OW, POP, AOW, 4OC, DVL)

Some steamy details(18+): They lean a bit towards the submissive side in bed. Really enjoy seeing you confident and feeling happy, to them you shine. I see a lot of you feminine’s are more on the dominant side anyways. Foot fetishes or like’s to do it with heels/nice shoes on. Will want to buy you flowers or do little and charmingly cute things for you, the type to see a pretty plastic ring and want to give it to you just because they adore you. It’s wholesome and innocent in a way. Homebody’s here, may take some coaxing to do anything outside. May want to write you poems and perhaps sexy texting is their cup of tea. Type to make a surrounding comfy and homey before getting down. This is a message for a handful of you only, they may like c*ckholding or voyuerism ok. Or just watching adult movies with you. Emphasis on the chest area and I feel if this is a male, that he has facial hair and a roman/hawklike nose. Thick eyebrows.

(sexual magic tarot: QOW, 2OS, AOP, KNOC, 10OC, HRMT)

Pile 4

The connection: Right away this will be a “forbidden” connection. This person is in a high position or role that requires responsibility and forseeing others’ work. I feel they are older. When you or they try to get close, I feel someone really fucking annoying will notice and charge in to say some dumb shit which will unfortuanly cause you so much distress. This could be another higher up, main boss or annoying ass taddle tail, etc. Either way this start of this connection will be a challenge and there is some sneaking around one way or another. The person you’ll want will be well respected and I am seeing very attractive, if male he has darker features except skin tone(like brunette hair, black eyes, yet pale as snow), very specific for a handful, also male or female they are tall or have excellent posture. You will notice this powerful, confident and great posture right away so if you needed a way to identify. I think some of you already know this person(take what resonates). I think this person puts responsibility over love and their heart, it’s sad cause it hurts them so but they have had to be the responsible and strong one for as long as they can remember. Please don’t hate them or take it personal. They don’t want to hurt you.

(rider waite: 2OS, JDMT, 10OP, KNOS, 9OS, KOP)

Some steal details(18+): Well goddamn okay. This is a sexy son of a b*tch that’s for sure. You want a soft yet stern doms/domme? This is for you lol. I get handsome/beautiful, bossy yet charmingly pain in the ass type energy. Like a tease. I keep seeing someone smirk. A little shit thats for sure! They enjoy taking charge and believe me you won’t mind it at all. This person believes practice makes perfect and Lord I feel they have and do. Ummm, if a man, he could have a large you know what. I feel he is proud of this but is one of the types that doesn’t tell everyone but slying enjoys people’s reactions when they get with him behind closed doors. So male or female, this person is charming and kind, so kind. Ugh, like they want to give you all you need and want just to see you light up with joy(yes this goes sexually and non-sexually). Like’s incoropating food and drink into the bedroom. Lowkey would bang outside under the starts. Yet so cute and cuddly, y’all I’m jealous. Has a lot of wild and freaky kinks that I feel y’all will like to play out together. Don’t let this person’s work persona and seriousness scare you, they are a big softie and teddy bear in the end. This person will never abuse their power both outside the bedroom and inside. Aftercare is a big deal here especially if there is any extreme practices, Iike I said, they won’t use their power against you. “Your wish is my command.” Have fun with this one. I mean the photo for this pile gives off a strong and primal energy to it so yeah haha.

(sexual magic tarot: KOS, EMP, DVL, 6OC, STR, 7OP)

(omg this song fits this energy so much plus it’s an amazing song and band, check it out!)

#astrology #pac #pick a card #tarot #2022 #manifest #riderwaite #1111 #fortune #maturepac #18+ readings #pick a pile #madeupoflowers #Spotify #mary on a cross #love #september pick a card

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heartshapedconchas · 11 months

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okay..hi. i know i haven’t updated my fanfic in literal months, but that is NOT what is important right now.

first of all, what the hell is wrong with you all?? threatening black authors&readers and calling them slurs because they ask for more inclusiveness?? fuck all of you.

Second, im going to give my piece of mind with the whole situation that is happening. Mind you i am a high femme, brown lesbian who has been masculinized most of her life. Now, correct me if i’m wrong, but some people (mainly non white/black users) are calling out some white authors on centering their reader inserts on whiteness. I understand this , again as a brown woman, who has found it difficult since I began reading self insert fanfics at like..9 years old.

However.

Something that is.. bewildering to me that I’ve seen brought up in this conversation is how .. the readers being hyperfeminine and whatnot somehow… makes it not relatable to people of color, SPECIFICALLY women of color; because of the history of them being masculinized.

This is so incredibly confusing to me cuz again,,, for me as a very femme brown woman who has been nothing but masculinized her whole life … has never felt alienated by these femme characters. Ever. In fact they make me feel more included because god it feels good to be feminine and not have that denied, even in fanfics. From my perspective; if you feel as if these femme characters only represent white ones— are you not upholding the exact stereotype that has been given to women of color for years?

This is just my opinion though; you are free to believe whatever you believe in and express how you feel (without attacking and siccing your followers onto whoever you’re speaking on).

In my writing I will always try my best to make all woc/poc feel included. If at some point I’m not doing that, i’m trying to make my fellow brown women feel included (as even though there has been an influx of non white writings as of late, the majority I see are black readers).

To all the white writers out there, try and leave your descriptions of the reader to a minimum of exclusivity. While you don’t have to make your reader insert obviously a woman of color, don’t make them obviously a white women either.

Personally I think we should leave the race specific fanfics to the people of that race. Because what white woman is gonna write a brown latina fanfic the accurate way and in a way I would enjoy? Write your fanfics in a race neutral manner, and to all the writers of color out there — write your fanfics race specific if you want to!

To my fellow authors and readers of color, speak about your concerns of inclusivity in our community! You have the right to speak your mind. Just please, please do not speak about authors in an ill manner if they haven’t done anything horribly, absolutely wrong. Critique them. Give advice. They can only learn if you give them room to grow.

And for both parties, please for the love of god; don’t allow people to send r*pe threats or call them slurs. Regardless of your race or what “side” you are on, no one deserves that. Elskittie didn’t deserve it earlier on, MULTIPLE black authors/readers don’t deserve it now. Be kind , fucking respect each other. Be fucking mature enough to have conversations about this instead of childish fights.

Oh and one more thing, please absolutely just tell me if i’m misinterpreting something in this post at all! This is from my perspective as a brown woman of color. And also i’m 95% sure i’m autistic. I have a hard time understanding things sometimes and just need it put in simpler terms :) don’t be an asshole and just kindly explain! thank u! 💗

#ellie williams x reader #the last of us part two #thelastofus #elskittie #tlou2 smut #tlou2 fanfic #abby anderson x reader #the last of us #writer of color

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stylecouncil · 8 days

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the people need your verdict: were hemingway and fitzgerald lovers?

do I think they were ever physically lovers? I really have no idea/its improbable that it went on too long if it went on at all and what the extent of it would have been, esp considering how weird fitzgerald was about sex to begin with (read sheilah grahams memoir. which I really do think stems from some sort of abuse, esp when you consider certain pretty telling statements about catholicism/the one intense relationship we know he had with a priest as a young man). both were also so publicly defensive about homosexuality (esp fitzgerald, probably out of necessity of being so outwardly feminine, although you see a real complex view/fixation on it in his actual writing) that it would be unlikely real evidence of this would survive whether it happened or not. zelda certainly seemed to think they had an inappropriate relationship in her eyes, but it’s hard to quantify exactly what that means esp when you combine it with the deterioration of her mental state.

the two of them immensely disliked each other, of which there could be multiple explanations for and might simply come down to hemingways misogyny and cold hearted clinging away from “feminine” showing of emotion or what he said it was, the belief fitzgerald was wasting his talent by remaining married to her/trying to get her help/remaining in their whirlwind of a relationship, but tended to look like this 👇 and was frequently very nasty

in terms of their emotional relationship I certainly think it was intense and scott seemed to value hemingway far more than he valued him (the constant references to him in something like the crack up, the tales of showing up to his house drunk in the middle of the night, the talking about him incessantly to mutual friends etc) but that being said hemingway also seemed to be fixated on scott in some sort of one-sided battle, like he was constantly trying to prove himself the better/not “like” scott ie not as feminine and, in his eyes, pathetic as scott. it seems like there was obviously something within scott that scared hemingway to death. this fixation even carries over to his writing (see: the snows of kilimanjaro, im which fitzgerald is essentially made the poster child for the weak man, a man who may as well already be dead, letting women rule his life, published shortly after fitzgerald released the crack up essays and the ensuing fall out/one of my favorite letters from fitzgerald to hemingway). the fact that fitzgerald seemed to genuinely admire women seemed to be a real sore spot between the two, especially where it concerned zelda. either way, in between their disagreements and the eventual dissolution of their relationship, there were obvious signs of real closeness in their letters

and there seems to be real deliberation in the way hemingway writes about fitzgerald in a moveable feast. like he wants to cause harm, but then also keeps pulling back, (there are a few great essays I’ve read that go into what hemingway left in vs took out of a movable feast regarding fitzgerald, I have a few posts on here that reference them) also don’t get me started on the weird probably false and just meant to make fitzgerald look bad, but nevertheless strangely homoerotic scene he writes into the book about fitzgerald showing him his dick. (It’s a whole thing, also fits right into the theme of hemingway’s need to reassure his own masculinity by using fitzgerald as a scapegoat for his own insecurities).

long story short, I think the two both had some complicated feelings for eachother, a lot things related to fitzgerald are particularly sad/telling

I would say that fitzgerald was in love with hemingway but I’m not sure he knew exactly how to process those feelings/would even admit that to himself so it’s hard to actually fully say that was the case. how hemingway felt is even harder to pin down because he was even less likely to admit something like this to himself. its clear that he almost viewed fitzgerald as a woman and simultaneously treated him in the same derogatory style he tended to reserve for women, and seemed to be interchangeably disgusted by him and as equally fixated on him and with as much admiration as fitzgerald had for him (see: his description of fitzgerald in a movable feast I think all of this comes across even in that concise paragraph). so um what am I trying to get at here.

yeah kind of.

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starfxkr · 10 days

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Hey moony idk if this is the right place to talk about this stuff (pls ignore this if it isn’t or if it’s too much in any way) but I kind of struggle with my femininity I’m not overly feminine or not like I guess I don’t present as very traditionally feminine with a really short haircut and I’m really tall (almost 6’0) and the way I dress but at the same time I am very girly on the inside in terms of general preferences and interests sometimes and it’s hard to balance and be perceived authentically if that makes sense so I often just kind of feel like an imposter in every territory lol sorry for the weird rant I just feel like I’m at this weird crossroad and that I should have this stuff figured out at my age but I really don’t

this is actually the exact right place to talk about it because i once went on a longgggg rant about this at 3am lol

but i do also very much struggle with my femininity and i got a double whammy bc im black so ppl automatically view me as more masculine, and like right now the current thing thats praised is hyperfemininity and if you don't present that way you can be quickly disregarded as "not a girls girl" without people giving you a chance its infuriating

im also at a crossroads of discovering what femininity means to me and how much i even wanna participate in it? like tbh big big reason i made this blog and developed my readers the way that i did is because it felt like there was a lack of readers who existed on the spectrum of femininity. and i wanted more people to see themselves so thats why my reader really are not super hyper girls accept for like 2 the rest i have them ebb and flow because i think most people ebb and flow.

#✨.txt

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dykefaggotry · 16 days

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sorry if this is something u don’t wanna talk about feel free to ignore this but i remember a while back u said smth like “anybody [queer] can be femme or butch” but idk if you ever elaborated and im really interested in that statement but i feel like i don’t have enough information to support my argument if that makes sense

sorry i tried answering this and tumblr absolutely nerfed it the other day but !!

i don't have the energy to go and find sources so i'm sorry in advance fasdfasd but basically for me (personally) it just comes down to like... femme and butch did start primarily as roles in the lesbian/bisexual community (though they were one in the same for a very long time). so already, i feel like bisexual women should definitely have a claim to the labels. but outside of that, the terms "femme" and "butch" are also heavily used in ball culture as well, which is/was made up of a lot of gay & bisexual men (& ofc trans women & other gnc folks, but i feel like at least Today most people would accept that trans women can label themselves butch or femme so they're not my focus here). and also very heavily inspired by black queer culture as well. they don't Exactly mean the same thing as they do in the lesbian community in how they're used, but they're still broad labels used for decades by all sorts of queer people

and as for like. their definition among the lesbian community applying more broadly, i think there's a lot of merit there too... bc imo femme and butch are roles as much as they are identities. & those roles queer masculinity & femininity. sometimes in a very lesbian specific way, sure, but not always. so if any other queer person really relates to those roles and gender expressions, i say go for it. like a Majority of us in butchfemme are going to be lesbians but i feel like that might not be the case if more people were able to explore it without feeling like they Had to label themselves a lesbian for doing so... bc they really are very beautiful identities and gender expressions in how they queer masculinity & femininity and i think many people could benefit from exploring those sides of themselves!

but yeah, for me it's just like.... it may have Begun in primarily lesbian/bi spaces, but the queer community as a whole has always had different connections to the terms & modernity has really just expanded that imo

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drill-teeth-art · 1 year

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i'm sure you've gotten this already, but i wanted to reach out and say your Good Bi Gender comic REALLY resonated with me. i identify as nonbinary but so often i get called transmasc or assumed i want masculinity Only when that's not how i feel at all. i LIKE femininity, i like being feminine and everything that comes with it; i call myself a sister and a daughter and i identify a lot with women's issues and struggles in society!

but im not a woman. i don;t think I've ever felt like one and i haven't been one for the last four years. i don't want to remove any parts of my body and while it would be cool to have more stereotypically masculine aspects (idk facial hair and wider shoulders maybe) I'm also ok as i am.

it's upsetting that there is such a binary view, that even other trans people decide we can only be one. i don't want to be one, i want both, and i want the beautiful things they can both make, i want to be so much because i AM so much and i just.

idk this probably doesn't make a lot of sense and hgfjdksl sorry for pouring into your inbox; i really wanted to say thank you. your comic was for you and your experiences but reading it made me feel seen and heard in a way no one has made me feel before. you verbalised something i have had so much trouble expressing and while our experiences are not the same, i deeply resonate with what you expressed in a way that touched me very very strongly.

i hope someday you are allowed both your femininity and your masculinity at the same time. i hope someday you can be wholly happy <3

No I get you it makes a TON of sense to me. The frustration of talking to people (even a lot of other trans people I’ve met) who only seem to understand gender in terms of the binary is so much. And it’s like. Our identities and experiences differ for sure, but the frustration of having to explain to others over and over that your gender doesn’t fit the binary and you don’t want it to is very real and exhausting and heartbreaking. Because like. Having to make your gender “palatable” to people who only understand the binary is something no one should have to do but the pressure to do it is real and intense. The amount of “I didn’t know anyone else felt this way” just in the comments and tags on my comic really is like. A testament of how shut out of the gender conversation identities that actively do and strive to defy the binary are.

Like. In my own case. I shouldn’t have to get rid of my boobs to be considered a man. I shouldn’t have to hide my femininity to be taken seriously as a trans person. Neither my manhood or womanhood should have to die for the other. They’re not even opposites. In fact. If I can put it abstractly. My manhood and womanhood have plenty of overlap in presentation and are very much in love. And the binary is hell bent on forcing even trans people to choose a binary box to fit neatly in. And that’s screwed up.

I hope this world finds kindness in it for you as well and that whatever gender presentation and balance is right for you is respected. Thank you for the kind words and reaching out.

#ask #otto thoughts #transgender

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piqued-curiosity · 9 months

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Im one of those people still using the word transsexual to describe my medical problem in which my brain thinks I should be male, and as much as I'm not fond of seeing terfs that much, it's great to see them stand up against the people that think gender is a spectrum and that you can be something entirely unknowable and cool or whatever. It's those people that make my life so difficult in just trying to find alternate treatments since they demedicalized gender dyshoria. You're doing it with care with every ask too, so kudos to that. Here's a nod from across the aisle I suppose. I respect what you're doing here.

Hi I’m sorry, I completely forgot to answer this 😂

Thank you for being so respectful!! I’m nodding right back and sending love. We likely don’t agree on many things, but it’s so important to respect people despite disagreements. Thank you for this ask, because it’s nice to see kindness! 😄💕

Also, I agree with you that it’s the “gender is a spectrum and so cool and unique” crowd who harm transsexual people in the long run. Most “terfs” for lack of better term, including myself, sympathise with people like yourself and aren’t aiming to stop you from seeking care the way you feel will help you the most. We’re much more concerned about the people enforcing the idea that a girl isn’t a girl if she isn’t traditionally feminine, or that a boy isn’t a boy if he isn’t traditionally masculine. And treating being trans as a fashion trend instead of a medical issue.

#asks #disclaymore

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apilgrimpassingby · 1 year

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hello! i just wanted to say i am so pleased to find your blog😊your views on masculinity are so very refreshing, and i wish there were more blogs like you here.

so i wanted to ask you something!! sorry it’s a bit of a long-winded explanation, i am prone to overexplaining😭

i am sort of unofficially dating this guy—we still have to talk about it, but we do like each other a lot and are just taking it step by step. he’s very artistic, enjoys literature, he’s deep and introspective, and he’s very emotionally intelligent. one thing he has always talked about is how he loves examples of masculine men in fiction that aren’t necessarily athletic, like himself. he is gentle and kind, while still being protective and nurturing, and he takes good care of himself—but sometimes people will call him feminine or girly for his interests, or for actually taking care of his body/having a fashion sense (im pretty sure it is also because he learned to take care of himself this way a lot earlier than other guys in his class, so they were all just kinda like🤨)

i was wondering if you have any suggestions on how i can uplift him and help him feel secure in his masculinity. obviously it is not up to me to make him feel masculine, that’s not what i mean—i was just wondering if there is anything i can do, or avoid doing, to remind him that i don’t think of him as weak or what-have-you, since sometimes i know guys can start to feel that way if they aren’t necessarily athletic or if they don’t enjoy sports, because that is sort of the masculine stereotype—and i would imagine that society definitely makes you feel less masculine if you don’t fit into that.

it’s alright if there isn’t really anything to be said since this might be a bit of a weird question, but it’s something i think about a lot so i decided to just go ahead and ask. i would just hate to add to any of his anxieties or unintentionally cause him to question his masculinity, if that makes sense? i would like to support him in any way i can, whether subtly or directly.

thank you for taking the time to read this if you did, and no pressure to answer it, especially since i sort of just sprung this in your ask box. just know that your blog is appreciated and i am glad that you are here and sharing your thoughts. i hope you are well :)

Here are my attempts to help.

Point to historical/literary examples. Yes, I believe there is an essential "masculine function" that has been more-or-less constant across recorded history and human culture; but the Left is right to say that the form of it has historically been tremendously diverse. Taking care of appearance? The Spartans didn't just braid and oil their hair, their did so in public before their enemies as a show of masculine prowess. Literature? My ideal man, King David, wrote poetry (which the Bible has recorded for us). If you want more examples, message me and I'll happily provide them.

In terms of taking care of his body, it's a part of the relationship - you presumably want him to look good. Do you do it for your woman's happiness? That makes it a chivalrous - and, thus, manly - action.

More generally, step away from modern masculinity and towards historical exemplars. My chosen ones are David (as already said) and the chivalric code of high and late medieval Europe. Many people also look to the men of The Lord of the Rings who are, of course, rooted in the characters of early medieval English and Scandinavian literature.

As for not liking sport, that ties into the above points - a good masculinity is applicable to all men. It's about protecting your wife and children, providing for them, and leading them by word and example. That's what (in my humble opinion) real manliness is. For me, as a Christian (don't know if you're one) the essential masculinity passages are the example of David (1 Samuel 16 to 2 Samuel 23) and Ephesians 5:25-30. Nothing about doing sport or eating steak.

Hope this helps! And don't worry about bothering me, I always like receiving asks in my inbox.

#traditionalism #traditional masculinity #flood my inbox #answered asks

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iamnmbr3 · 1 year

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ugh. getting so tired of how the feminine is considered inferior. how being a woman or someone of another sex/gender who is "too" feminine automatically makes ppl look down on u and makes the world less safe. how traveling is so much harder and u have to constantly be on ur guard for a potential threat to ur safety. how u can't just trust a stranger complimenting u or starting a conversation bc if u don't brush them off it might put u in danger. how u have to constantly be on ur guard and assessing like ur living in a horror movie or smthing. and yeah obviously there's other circumstances/groups this applies to as well in certain contexts. but u know what I mean?

how women are encouraged to model their behavior and appearance off of what would be pleasing to the male gaze but it's not the same for men. men get to decide how women should be to be attractive but then they also get to decide how men should be. women are told what kind of men they should be attracted to and if they are attracted to a different image of masculinity or a different kind of man or not attracted to men at all then they are Othered and looked down on.

(and it’s not even all men making the decision. it’s like this subset of men. like the men who aren’t like this don’t get a voice either. and the more a man deviates from what masculinity is “supposed” to be the more they are silenced. men who aren’t straight/cis/traditionally masculine often don’t get to be part of the convo).

an actress that has lots of male fans who think she’s sexy is considered successful. but if a male actor has too many female admirers it’s viewed as tho he’s not a serious actor or lesser somehow or as if it’s a joke. probably partly bc a lot of times the male actors with huge female followings are the ones that fit the female gaze and don’t fit the traditional conceptions of masculinity that women are “supposed” to be attracted to. and thus deserve to be punished. which is unfair to them as well.

and it’s self perpetuating in a way bc it’s an excuse to mock and degrade men and other genders who don’t fit this toxic mold. maybe partly bc the things that are sexy according to the so-called female gaze (and I don’t really like that word either bc I feel like it’s very reductive and gendered and generalizing and stereotyping but im using it for lack of a better term) are more difficult. like being respectful or cultured or smart etc takes work. and requires giving agency to the other person too. being powerful and just taking what u want is easy. so it’s better to pretend that that makes u a ‘real’ man or something instead of just a jerk.

and yeah. it’s just tiring. how society punishes anyone who doesn’t fit this certain specific conception of “masculinity.” (which really has NOTHING to do with masculinity and everything to do with rebranding certain behaviors as somehow being sexy and justified and natural instead of just being a jerk. bc c’mon. the truth is men are perfectly capable of being empathetic and mature and compassionate and calm and respectful and controlled. being aggressive and arrogant and hotheaded and selfish and pushy isn’t manly or masculine. it’s just being a jerk.

#anyone I don’t know if this makes sense but u feel me?#feminism #sexism #rants #women #gender #random musings

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enneamage · 1 year

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hi i dont know how to start this so im just going to get right into it

i never understood why twitter got so mad at this clip ever since i saw it live i actually thought i was more good than bad? that might sound crazy but the fact as a 16 year old cis guy got called a lesbian and didnt go "ew im not a LESBIAN!??!" and actually thought about it for a second.

i think thats perfectly normal at that age to wonder that to wonder about your sexual and gender identity. hell i did and i think if i never did that as a teen i would have never accepted the idea of me being a trans guy.

now this brings me to the point of this essay. i think if twitter didnt have a shit party over that clip he would be more comfortable expressing himself femininity and accepting his bisexuality.

sure he doesnt have a problem flirting with guys as we've seen but they've always been less "masc" than his whole "big man" persona i think he finds it easier to flirt with guys (with the exception of ranboo of course) if he views them as more fem or even as a women perhaps

im not one to truthing him being trans or clem being real but im not against it. this also isnt me truthing him as being trans. i think cis people expressing femininity and masculinity is so important male or female (femininity and masculinity are ALWAYS put as things that go inherently together, but for some reason theyre never put as things that compliment eachother but thats a whole different topic)

but what do i really know? i dont have an audience of 12 million on youtube and 7 miliion on twitch i cant imagine that many eyes on you just waiting to judge you on your every move

Anon I admire the drive but I’m afraid you’ve sent this to the person who authored the “Tommy being Bi won’t fix him” post, so I must stick to my convictions on this one.

(As an aside, for those who don’t know, meet Clementine!)

I was not directly around for The Lesbian Moment, but I think I heard the gunshots down the street. I think it’s hugely under-emphasised how everyone was on the back of a world-changing mass death event spread out over the course of at least two years around that time, and the way that it (reasonably, all things considered) affected the way people handled stress. People were very sensitised to a lot of things, and it doesn’t surprise me that this would be a case where zooming out from what the problem was ‘supposed to be about’ would reveal a massive soup of situational stressors looking for a fracturing point to express themselves.

As thousands of people were all suddenly shoved online to share the same spaces, the social processes involved with creating norms and group standards had tons of gas thrown on them. It was going to be messy no matter what, people were electing scapegoats left and right to set social standards about what was and wasn’t acceptable. This is grim but important context (Tw), lockdown was horrific for rates of at-home physical and sexual abuse. Being a woman online in general is a state of psychological warfare against an objectifying culture. I remember talk about how his audience was divided even then, a group of lesbians were like “hell yeah we can let Tommy join /nsrs” and then another group were not even remotely okay with that even as a joke.

People were sensitised to feeling invaded in a time where lockdown had personal agency down to record lows, especially for teenagers and children. In a world where you have next to no agency or personal control over your circumstances, having a say in dominant moral narratives and the accepted behavior of people skyrockets in value, because you’re constantly in other people’s power. People were profoundly invested in the few square inches of control that they could/did have, so they were deeply reactive with it. A lot of pandemic reactivity was the behavior of people who felt over-activated and cornered, so while it’s possible to critique the outrage and take it apart on the terms that it presented itself on, it’s important to understand it as part of a whole as well.

👏 ON TO THE GAY SHIT

I feel like what goes into Tommy flirting with each of the men he’s flirted with in the past has been a little bit different. Tubbo seemed like possessive best friend claiming mushed into a straight lens with a side of teasing (I like girls, I like Tubbo, Tubbo is girl.) Ranboo was a fascinating intersection of girlfriend sublimation and flirtation to raise his self-esteem, also a bit of an apology for the not-so-passive-aggression from when it looked like Ranboo had “stolen” Tubbo. I wasn’t around for TimeDeo, but fuck it, that counts too. I don’t think that the majority of his homosocial flirting was to make himself seem more masc, especially with Ranboo. (I’ll spare you examples but that particular stretch has some moments.)

Tommy had a ‘playing toughguy’ problem when he was younger, and it contributed to some of his worst habits in terms of what came out of his mouth. I would have attributed a lot of this to his environment, the influences that he related to both positively (edgy youtubers) and negatively (macho schoolmates.) He was very teenage boy, but even then he had an off-beat streak that I impressionistically related to as more femme, even when he was being abrasive. Ever since being forcibly civilised through Wilbur and the forces of the internet he’s had much less of that, but his femme streak has stayed in some form or another, just evolving to fit what’s needed of him at a given time.

The rate at which Tommy being a cishet man comes up as a genuine issue that people feel compelled to try and see resolved is interesting, even as someone who occasionally feels it myself. Like there’s got to be something to unpack in that dynamic, that whatever behavioral issue he’s experiencing at a given time feels tied to his identity as a cishet male and something that can be revised if he had the right personal revelations. The issue is, I just don’t think it’s true, or at least wouldn’t make the difference that some people would want it to make. Some of his problems could even be tied up in his Englishness, and that’s straight up incurable. It’s hard for me to imagine that having a sexuality related revelation would make that big of a difference in the grand scheme of… him as a person. He’s got a lot of moving parts.

I do feel some frustration on behalf Tommy in terms of being a target of essentialist thought. He’s not allowed to be as camp as he probably wants to be because it comes off as offensive to gay culture, and he’s not allowed to be overtly femme because people are strict about policing gender expression right now if a given person doesn’t take on a certain label that corresponds with it. He’s assumed to have the worst intentions if he isn’t directly part of a certain group, and he really is clumsy with things that he doesn’t understand so he can be better off sometimes keeping his hands inside his box, but it’s still kind of sad to see the roundabout way that these binaries re-enforce themselves with someone like him. At the same time, try not to mourn over ‘what could have been’, because it’s still a form of essentialism to think that having traits more commonly associated with non-cishet identity would solve his problem-of-the-week, and there’s no guarantee that’s the case.

#Tw: Violence #tw: SA mention #Tw: Assault #Tw: Abuse #Brief mention but still worth noting for being so abrupt #As you can tell I’ve been thinking this topic over for a while #I want him to have Queer Freedom as much as the next guy but it’s not the vital jenga block that will knock the rest of him into place #Him being a sticky little man is his journey. His path #mageessay #since this is the spiritual sequel to the first one

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swordofazrael1992 · 5 months

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🏳️‍🌈 jean paul valley!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH I AMM. BITING i will talk abt this topic FOREVER

jpv’s gender is truly girlfag to me. and imo her breaking away from the order of st dumas and her + azrael deciding to use their abilities to protect and save can be a trans narrative—EVERY prior azrael in their lineage was male, and every prior azrael was a weapon used by the order to deliver vengeance. and of course there’s the obvious gendered implications of those two paths (being merciful and protective as “feminine” and then aggressive and vengeful as “masculine”) that i think are SO interesting to explore. at the same time though i don’t think her gender identity lacks masculine facets, or is completely separate (or even separate at all) from masculinity. and this of course adds nuance to the prior conversation: azrael is now the angel of mercy, but that doesn’t mean they’ve completely divorced themselves from the concept of vengeance. that long ass ramble is to say: i see jpv as bigender, preferring a more gender nonconforming presentation and also identifying with transfeminine identity. i do also tend to say that i think she uses she/he pronouns, but most of the time im talking about her i end up using she/her

and for sexual identity: girlfag also, obviously, applies here. i’ve never been able to recognize her on-panel attraction to women as genuine or even present. it really feels like how i (boydyke) would look at men as a “i want to be them” and everyone around me interpreted as “i want to be with them” to the point that i assumed that’s what it was as well. admittedly, this is probably influenced by the fact that the first thing i ever read of her WAY before i became obsessed with her was tynion’s TEC comics, and she and luke are very 🏳️‍🌈 in that, but i also should mention that her and luke’s relationship is the only one of hers i’ve ever been able to interpret as romantic.

and thus i have recently been toying around with her being somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum, although im not 100% sure where. the majority of her expressed attraction has, as previously mentioned, felt very surface level to me, while SO MANY of her most important relationships have been platonic. i’ve also been thinking about the idea of her and luke as platonic/queerplatonic, and i think exploring some of her other relationships as queerplatonic could be SO interesting. like qpr jpv and babs???? i need to eat them

in summary: girlfag, transfeminine, aspec

and then there’s ALSO azrael ofc. i see him as genderless but not in an identifying as agender way more of like a. never occurred to him to have a gender and he’s so genderless that identifying with a gender identity term doesn’t fit for him. like “what’s your gender” “i am the angel of vengeance” “okay but what’s in your pants” “i have a flaming sword” “is that a euphemism” “*pulls out actual flaming sword* no”. i mostly use he/him for azrael because i genuinely just think it doesn’t occur to him to use other pronouns, and if someone were to bring it up he’d just see no reason to try and change. not in a denial way i just think he’s genuinely like. transcended the need for pronoun changes. although i do occasionally fuck with the idea of him using hy/hym pronouns. his gender makes sense to me but i cannot explain it. and then similarly i can’t explain his sexual/romantic orientations he is just. i think he’s similar to jpv in that the majority of his meaningful connections and relationships are platonic but i think (for example, if jpv was with luke romantically) he could end up building a connection with a partner that wasn’t strictly platonic. whether that would become romantic i can’t currently say because i haven’t fleshed out my jpv and azzy ace/aro spec headcanons. although at the end of the day i just don’t really think labels are super important to az? like he’s just kinda *waves hand* there. although i DO think identity is important to him. that might seem contradictory to what i’ve said previously in this ramble but i think that while he doesn’t identify with labels i do think he identifies as like. being other than what the order of st dumas would force him into being and being other than what the world would force him into being. azrael as a character, especially recently, is about forging your own path and that you are more than what people might force you to be and i think he would find comfort (or at least vindication) in the fact that there are these core parts of himself that are so incongruous with what would be expected of him, yknow? like as previously discussed with the concept of azrael being forcibly masculine, and him (not just jpv) being able to move past that and both define what being azrael means to him and define what gender means to him. overall i have a lot of thoughts on azzy but i haven’t been able to solidify them and Decide on them the way i have jpv which is something i must change immediately

in (outer world) presentation i’d say that azzy is also gender non-conforming but in a far more fashionable way than jean paul. azrael would be coordinating like runway ready looks while jpv has the worst fashion sense imaginable which is so funny to me. also i think azrael would be absolutely CRACKED at makeup don’t ask me why i just think he’s very good at it

LONG ASS POST OVER. i’m less insane now

#jpv #lex i am biting you in an affectionate way or perhaps a violent one whichever you prefer

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dykeomania · 6 months

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Mia please I need advice on how to build a roster or even start going on dates w other women in the first place like I swear I’m not a loser I just don’t know where to start. For context I’m a femme lesbian who likes butches/mascs ….any advice will be appreciated thank u kindly ……

okay i am so bad at answering asks but i'm gonna try to give you a rundown and tell you some stuff based off of my experience

so i'm like pretty feminine presenting i guess (i dress "comfortably," tomboyish, idk), would not say i lean strictly masculine in terms of how i present myself. i keep my options pretty open. uhhh, i'm american, so i use like. dating apps in america. i'm 20. waves my hands. yktv ok just some context.

dating apps are fun. get into dating apps. i like hinge because you can set your location to wherever you want and it's free and that been be super useful if you happen to live in a small town or any place that doesn't have a big lesbo community. pro is that you can set your location wherever you want (set it to mass or anywhere in the upper northeast, bitches are gay as fuck up here -- by like uvm, mount holyoke, downtown boston, or new york, pennsylvania too surprisingly). con is that you can set it to anywhere you want, and that might put you in a long-medium distance situation so be ready for that/mindful of that or just have a car.

i would say that hinge is also good because it learns your taste after a while. so if you only swipe on masculine presenting women, then it'll pick up on that after a while and begin to only show you women who are masculine presenting. pretty cool

going on dates, and flirting with women. im not gonna say too much here bc you said you're not a loser so i think you got it but generally speaking like, when it comes time and you've got a girl in your dms and let's say you're somewhat close, don't hold back. if you catch a vibe, you can be like heyyyy im gonna be in your cityyyy dadadada we should go for coffee. let's link, let's do something. or let them know, and be like we should do something, and let them make the plans. keep them held to that. and by this point like, definitely make sure that 1) you know this person is real obvi 2) you've exchanged #s /socials with them, or at least after you've agreed to go on a date -- this is a me thing, it makes things feel a little more set in stone for me personally. and do not just settle for casual hookups. some women will hit you up on some like, oh let's just link or makeout or come to my dorm, and if that's your jam, i would say go for it but i would also caution you. however, if you want more than that there are a hundred percent women who are more than willing to like, take you ice skating, take you on a picnic, go for a walk somewhere, etc. don't settle. be patient, but don't settle

and when it comes to dating generally speaking, define your boundaries. say what it is that you want, and honor that, and honor what the other person wants as well. things may change, but it's important to make sure that everyone is on a good playing field before you really delve into things past like, a first date. things can be casual still obviously after the second date, third date, what may have you, however, but again, good comunication is important so just make sure that y'all are on the same page even if it's just casual and you're feeling things out. like, are you exclusive? do you wanna be? if you're gonna kiss at the end of your dates, make sure you both know what that means, if anything at all? etc.

and i guess the last and perhaps the most unhelpful thing is like, just keep your options very broad in terms of where you're looking but i'd also encourage you to be careful. i met some girls on my roster through like, a social media app meant for college students that i downloaded bc of my school (yik yak, dead ass). people pop up from anywhere.

i hope this was helpful. i kinda wanna say more but im trying to find things to say and it is hard because i am so sleepy

#mia what are you talking about #mwah #lowkey?#mia's dating column

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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years

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I was wondering if you could elaborate on what you mean by you don’t think femme4femme is a thing? Like do you not agree with it or not think people have that experience, or is a historical or terminological disagreement?

no like theres plenty of feminine women who want to fuck other feminine women it just doesnt really have much to do with the butch/femme subculture and like most people who are going out of their way to announce that they're femme4femme are just doing it in a defensive like uhmm i only like pretty cute soft pink uwu girlsss 🥺 way thats just terminally irritating 😭 ur the default majority already so it like comes hand in hand with this idea that butch4femme couples are like somehow privileged and proximal to heterosexuality or something ... and to me in that context femme is just meaning like that ur a feminine woman in purely aesthetic terms so like idrc if ur using that word to describe who u wanna bang in the appropriate context, but i dont think it constitutes a femme identity in the butchfemme way which literally only exists in the first place out of courting rituals between butch and femme women. so yeah its historical/terminological for sure, hopefully what i said makes sense<3

i do think its worth considering like how internalised lesbophobia and the stigmatisation of gnc women etc might be affecting this and like i say, a lot of the like aggressively femme4femme ppl are young gays w a lot of internalised lesbophobia who need to make it clear that theyre like an acceptable pretty soft whatever lesbian not like those dykes, but thats not me saying that ur problematic for not fancying butches or something - like were the roles reversed id be the exact same bc feminine women just arent what's attractive to me n thats fine. but the reason a lot of our hackles go up at that term is because through experience we've come to associate it with dehumanisation of our partners and dismissal of our desire, etc. a lot of ppl have some kind of variation and maybe like really androgynous girls or all sorts of girls who are both feminine and masculine or whatever whereas i feel like if ur out the gate dismissive of anyone whos not hyperfeminine that is just to me more likely a sign that uve got some stuff to deal with. but thats for u & like ill never dismiss someone purely based on who theyre attracted to thats crazy but if ur framing it in a way thats clearly defensive against proximity to the gnc women in ur community or something then yeah i dont think you have any right to the subculture which they built and defended as a safe space from people exactly like u!! i hope that makes sense and any follow up qs are totally welcome if i said anything that confused u or u dont agree, i hope i dont come off hostile or anything 🥺 also i just realised i have a really bad habit of oscillating between second and third person when i start talking about an abstract group so jic im not referring to YOU, anon but to like a vague ye <3

#ask #anon #butchfemme #feminine lesbians who like other feminine women can still be gnc and have complicated gender bla bla etc etc etc #i just mean this one specific history and subculture it doesnt make any sense for u to claim if u have no interest in butches #and like im alwayssss saying terms just exist to describe experiences so im not like gatekeeping ur experience or whatever #im just saying the term femme in that sense has no meaning to me outside of the experience of like relating to butches in a certain way #so idrc if ur like #saying that on ur dating profile to communicate who ur interested in w/e #its just the girls who come on here and are all omggg can we stop erasing femme4femme femmes!!!! or whatever #please turn on any lesbian tv show ever and tell me where this erasure is queen #i feel like im struggling to explain the type of person bc its like ...iykyk #but usually if i meet someone who just happens to like fem girls theyre not going to be all OMG I ONLY LIKE PRETTY PURE SOFT DELICATE GIRLS #EYELINER HIGH HEELS MINI SKIRTS CHRISSY CHALALAPECKA<333 #the second i meet them whereas if im on some girls acc n shes got 'femme4femme' in her bio 9/10 times i scroll down her blog n its very tha #and ik these girls would define me . a stone femme . as like butchy femme or soft butch or w/e #because the fact that im obviously the 'girl one' when i stand next to a masc one is how im conceiving of myself #rather than like what would a str8 guy think if he saw me walking down the street #sorry this is sooo long i just feel like its such a Thing and like all of us know without saying exactly why i dont like it but i do wanna #explain what that is so it doesnt look like im just being a hater to girls who like that pic of the girl putting makeup on the other girl #or w/e #im an ally to ur culture just wish it was more mutual <//3

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buck-yyyy · 1 year

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okay so like. i have kinda done my best to keep the specific year i’m in of high school to myself, even though i yell into the void about school and college and all that stuff on here a lot, but i’m throwing that away for a second because i have just revived news and i can’t talk about it to anyone irl and i am-

so. i was planning to cut my hair short this summer, because Gender requires short hair so that i don’t want to rip it off but i also hate getting drastic haircuts in the middle of the school year because it attracts too much attention

i just told my mom my plan, basically just saying like ‘hey! this is a thing im going to do! your opinion is not going to stop me from getting it done because this is what i want!’

she says ‘okay. you can do it after you get your senior pictures taken.’

what

w h a t

she’s expressed the fact that she doesn’t want me to cut it short already, and she’s always been weird and passive aggressive about me wanting to do something different with my hair because she automatically assumes im going to hate it or regret it, but. like. the fact that she’s fully putting her foot down came out of fucking NOWHERE and i don’t know what to do about it? because you usually don’t get your senior pictures taken until your senior year ACTUALLY STARTS, which, because of my hatred of excess attention, will push this back an entire fucking YEAR and i don’t know what to do about it because whenever i’m having a bad day in terms of my gender bullshit and i see myself in a mirror the first thing i see is the hair. the FIRST thing i think is how much i hate it because it’s so goddamn feminine and there’s no way for me to look masculinity with my hair long the way it is and so i just end up feeling worse and hating myself and wanting to cut it all off, but i can’t tell her that because she doesn’t know and i don’t want her to, and i-

i don’t want to be stuck like this for another year and a half. i already feel trapped and i don’t want it to be like this any more but i might not have a choice and i don’t know what to do

#FUCK #WHY does she have such a PROBLEM with it #she acts like i suggested tattooing my goddamn eyeballs it’s fucking ridiculous #ITS MY HAIR #and when i pointed that out she was just like ‘do you want to be stuck with photos of 90s hair for the rest of your life? i’ve seen the way #you want to cut it’ YES. YES I DO.#because i’d rather look back at a haircut i might later think is bad than look back on a photo of hair that i know routinely made me #miserable #fuckk. fuck.

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sketchdeath · 2 years

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I’m comfortable in my body like I’ve never had gender dysphoria about being born a women. But I don’t really get jealous of other women and sometimes when I’m looking at pictures of men I just feel really sad bc I wish I looked like that. Like I really wish I was born with a dick and masculine features. But also I love my femininity. I guess I never really let myself think about my gender so now idk what the fuck is going on.

well. im not really sure what you wanted me to say in response to this ask, but i can try and give some advice.

trans experience is different for everyone. not everyone (and truly, most do not) fit along the neat lines of what is supposed to be a trans childhood/teenhood/internal knowledge/timeline/etc. i do and dont fit some of those. i always "knew." but at the same time i was always very much a little queen. (and i still am!) and i transitioned into an ~effeminate man~ (that's an option!)

gender dysphoria doesn't always manifest itself in bodily discomfort. in the beginning stages of my coming out process, a large part of my gender dysphoria was grief, longing, and homesickness for the life i was "supposed to" be living. of course, there were bodily things as well... (a lot of which i don't feel comfortable talking about it publically.) but body isn't all there is, not for everyone at least. and, importantly, gender dysphoria is not hating your body. in my experience... it's a lot more innate. instinctual. like a phantom limb (sometimes literally lol) you don't have to have a set bullet checklist of things you do/feel to be trans. it just is what it is.

i wanted to share my personal experiences to give you a wider picture of what trans people experience, of course, i have a biased opinion because i only know what i know/have experienced. i know what wishing to be born with a dick/masculine features feels like, so... of course im going to want to say i relate to you in *that way,* but…that still doesn't mean anything for you.

…for my REAL real advice, and maybe this isnt what you wanted to hear: but only you know what you are. no one can tell you otherwise how you "really" feel. there is no (in my worldview) higher power or universe controlling the narrative of your life. no path leading you to an ultimate happiness destiny. you are at the steering wheel of your own life. (repeat that last sentence like 10 times in your own head.) if you are looking for permission, you already have it. you have that power, and more power than you know. you are allowed to be whatever you think will be best for yourself long-term. (or short-term. or whatever. its your life.) if you want to be a guy, be a guy. try thinking about yourself as both, or neither, or "sometimes" for a while. its okay to say nah, im a chick whos more masc than i allowed myself to be before. think about misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, and all that. seek out a varied amount of experiences. throw some spaghetti at the wall. it's okay to think long and hard about these things. you're literally switching around the entire idea you have about yourself in your head and all by yourself, its a difficult thing. it takes time, there's no rush.

if you have any big takeaways from reading this just know that you, and only you, have the power to drive your own life trajectory and that you, and only you, have the power of knowing who you are. even if no one in the whole wide world knows but you. and no one else has the power to tell you otherwise.

this is just my personal philosophy/spiritually (or i guess, lack of.)

#ask

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