#I don’t think ted has ill intent of course it’s just. the horrors honing in.

[lunar-years]

I'm rewatching TL (nothing new there) and its really bugging me this time round how Ted is clearly aware that the traumatic event of his childhood has had a negative impact on his psyche and the way he behaves as an adult, yet he seems unwilling to give Jamie the same acknowledgement

yeah i think a lot of the disconnect between them actually comes from Ted comparing his situation and dad trauma to Jamie's situation and dad trauma without recognizing that they are actually very different situations and that he and Jamie are two very different people who deal with trauma differently as well.

Like, his whole speech about "sometimes having a tough dad makes you stronger/better/whatever the fuck" when Jamie asks to be let back on the team is for me a reflection that 1) One of Ted's own personal coping mechanisms is telling himself he's "overcome" the trauma of his dad's death and come out the other side of it a better & kinder (curious, not judgemental) person. When really he very much hasn't overcome it (in fact it's not something that can be 'overcome,' so to speak) and has only shoved it deeper down until it all comes bubbling back up again during the show.

And 2) it's easier for Ted to assume Jamie copes in the same way (and will therefore be reassured by the notion that he's a great player because 'surviving' his father's abuse has made him tougher and more driven) rather than actually reflecting upon or unpacking Jamie's completely separate situation.

what's fascinating to me is that when Ted superimposes his own situation onto Jamie he has Jamie playing two roles. One is Ted himself, who desperately and genuinely wants to forgive his own father (and therefore he think forgiveness is a good idea for Jamie) and the second is Henry, who Ted wants desperately to forgive him (and therefore he needs to believe Jamie can forgive his father, so that Henry will forgive him).

Anyway, that's why Jamie features so heavily in all of Ted's panic attacks despite the fact that the two of them are not actually that close and Ted actually knows very little about him.

Of course, the person who comes out worse in this messy dynamic is Jamie, who gets a lot of very bad advice from Ted as a result. And yeah it can be really bothersome as a viewer because I do think the state of Ted's mental health does continually result in him letting Jamie specifically down.

#I think #also ted is sort of aware of that and it's part of what makes wembley SO triggering for him #because right in front of him is the thing he's never acknowledged and it's impossible not to acknowledge it #i think ted spent a LOT of time convincing himself what he saw at the end of season 1 was something different than what he was seeing #I don’t think ted has ill intent of course it’s just. the horrors honing in. #and the fanon dynamic people give to them therefore makes very little sense to me #anyway #ch: ted lasso #jamie tartt #ted lasso meta #asks #ted lasso