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yandere-paramour · 3 months

Note

after kidnapping reader, how much would your ocs' behavior and personality would change?

would they be more prone to fits of jealousy? would they be more obsessive like maybe monitoring them 24/7? would they try to change the reader?

sorry for all the questions 🫶 luv your work

Vivien

As I said before, Vivien does not want to kidnap Darling, but he will if he has to.

Once he has you nice and safe in his basement where you can't run away, he starts in on his plan to wear you down spoil you.

He makes sure you have every comfort possible. You have a tv with any streaming service you want, all the comfy blankets and snacks and books you want, even a pet if you want it. Anything you ask for, he'll bring it to you within a day. He will spend every minute he's not actively working with you, desperately trying to show you how much he loves you and how patient and kind he is and how he so so so so wants to treat you like royalty and make a family of little princes and princesses with you.

Honestly, he's so sweet and genuine that it's difficult for anyone not to fall in love with him, and he's patient enough to keep this up for months. He just wants to love you and for you to love him back! Is that too much to ask?

However, if you keep your will and still refuse to love him/pretend you love him, he will start to get frustrated. He'll start to demand more couple things with you, like giving you a specially engineered phone that only lets you talk to him and demand you text him pictures of what you're doing and message him while he's at work. He might hold you in his arms so you get used to his gentle touch. He'll slowly manipulate you by talking about how much easier things will be when you give in, how he bets it would be so nice to go outside again and you could have that if you were just good.

Eventually, he will wear you down, but if you were an especially disobedient Darling, he'll keep you on a short leash once you're allowed outside. He'll take you to and from work, always trying to keep tabs on you and rarely letting you outside without him until he is absolutely certain you won't leave him.

Or maybe you can't be trusted outside alone at all. Your sweet head keeps entertaining these notions of leaving him, you obviously can't handle the outside world unaccompanied. Maybe you're meant to be a stay-at-home spouse, soon to be a stay-at-home parent. Don't worry, he'll be sure to give you lots of sweet children to make sure you're not lonely, and he'll certainly give you lots of his attention as well.

Don't worry, you're his precious Darling, he'll take care of you.

Atalanta

Atalanta is generally a pretty consistent person whose true self (the self that she shows around family and Darling) is honestly pretty close to the persona she puts on in public. She's very mild and calm and generally slow to spur strong emotions.

She has a very clear plan for how to teach Darling to be both the perfect spouse and the perfect socialite. Her plan includes strategically using both rewards and punishments to train and mold Darling's behavior.

Atalanta is kind of a very controlling yandere. She always knows where Darling is, what they're doing, who they're with, and what time they're coming back. She has at least 4 bodyguards with you if you're going somewhere unfamiliar and around 2 if you're going somewhere known like a friend's house.

She's not really jealous; she doesn't need to be. Simply by being hers you already have a mark on you. No one will be able to hide you for long. A random shopkeeper might have a child who works at her company. The police just got another large Montclair donation. Anyone who sees you unaccompanied will return you back to your rightful place, and no one dares touch you without her permission.

Atalanta is also the kind of yandere to restrict what Darling does. Your days will be filled with all the best that high society has to offer, charity galas, yacht trips, private jets, Michelin chefs. It sounds nice, but now that you're with her, she sees no reason for you to ever indulge in silly things like grabbing fast food with friends, dancing at the club, and working your own job and making your own money. You have her now, you don't need to do these things. You can rest now.

Atalanta is very patient. If Darling resists or otherwise fights back, she will simply have you stay inside the penthouse until you repent and apologize for your bad behavior. If you run, she'll find you within hours and you will be punished. All the comforts she has given you? Let's see how long this defiance lasts when you have to spend days on end with no entertainment but what she mercifully decides to give you.

She is more than willing to wait years for you to calm down and be the perfect spouse, hanging on her arm, kissing her cheek, laughing at her jokes over a fancy dinner she bought you at the best restaurant in the city. Her mother did the same thing and Atalanta is nothing if not a Mommy's girl.

If you ever want to breathe fresh air again, even with her metaphorical chain around your ankle, you'll settle down and appreciate the things she works so hard to give you. It truly doesn't have to be this difficult, Darling girl.

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mysterywheeze · 2 months

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what a weekend, huh

I've refrained from using this blog to share my thoughts on the [gestures vaguely] situation for- well, for a few reasons. For one, I haven't been directly involved in the fandom for a while for personal reasons (I will reiterate that I am Mostly Fine). For two, until today we didn't have an official update on the matter. And for three, there's been A LOT of vitriol within the fanbase, so saying anything felt like stepping into a minefield.

Point three still stands. But what the hell? I've thrown my thoughts into worse rings.

My opinions on the whole fiasco can be summed up in four points.

ONE: Their initial plan was bad, and the way they announced it was even worse.

I don't think I have to explain why cutting off a large number of low-income and international fans is a shitty thing to do. That the initial treatment of Patreon fans was poor is, I think, similarly self-evident. And not just because we weren't initially given free access to the streaming platform; the abrupt cancellation of WW+ and early access screwed a lot of annual-membership patrons over.

We now have confirmation that Watcher needed a new revenue stream to stay operational, and that the team viewed this change as essentially a last resort to avoid layoffs or worse. We did not get this information in the "Goodbye YouTube" video. The Watcher team could have been upfront from the beginning, but they decided not to be. Instead they hyped up the announcement, even had a countdown, leading us to think that this was a sign of something good, when in reality it was a sign of something dire.

I hope we can all agree that more initial transparency would have significantly improved the audience reaction to the announcement.

TWO: The update/apology video was a good one.

They addressed why they made their decision, admitted to their fuck-up, and changed their plan. That's Owning Up To Your Mistakes 101. What we got was a compromise; they aren't scrapping the streaming service altogether, but they aren't abandoning fans who can't afford it altogether, either. And of course, they've told us that the streaming service is necessary for the survival of the company. Better late than never.

There's still a lot that they need to do before they can fully gain my trust. And I say gain, not regain, because this isn't the first time they've had a business fumble (NOTE: this is not about the HWYD incident). From Patreon rewards coming months late to factual errors in their educational shows, to what I strongly suspect is mismanagement of funds leading to their current financial troubles, they've always had flaws that ought to be addressed.

But it's a start. A good start at that.

THREE: Some fans reacted to the announcement (and to a lesser extent, to the update) in deeply inappropriate ways.

Look, I don't think you have to ~deeply adore~ Steven Lim to be a Watcher fan. I'll admit that, as a diehard Unsolved fan since 2017 who rarely watched Worth It before 2020, Steven's shows appealed to me less than Ryan and Shane's content did. The average viewcounts of Steven's shows compared to Ryan-n-Shane's shows indicates that my preferences are pretty common.

That being said, as someone who isn't particularly enthused about Steven content, I can appreciate the things he's done for Watcher and as a human being. He's always been the guy pushing hardest for Asian-American representation, as Grocery Run, Hidden Narratives, and especially his response to the 2021 tragedy in Atlanta, made very clear.

From years ago to just last week, he's said some poorly-worded and even insensitive things. He's a human. We're prone to doing that.

If you think that it's okay to insult him on a personal level over this weekend's fiasco, to drag up an old mistake he already publicly apologized for, or to make unfounded accusations about his moral character, you are solely mistaken and have some serious maturing to do. If you actually partook in any of those activities, I sincerely hope that you regret your actions and avoid repeating them. And if you're one of those people STILL trying to pin all the blame on Steven, or even calling for his resignation(?!?)... I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you become a kinder person soon.

This also goes for people who started getting personal with the other members of Team Watcher, or with their friends or loved ones outside the company. So what if Sara had an imperfect take? She's not responsible for Watcher's bad decision, and we shouldn't be dragging her into the discourse just because she's married to a guy who did a fuck-up.

And yeah, Shane did a fuck-up. It ain't cute to act like he's an innocent anti-capitalist baby being dragged into this mess by Steven. Same goes for people saying Ryan didn't play a part in this, but over the past few days I've seen way more support for Shane among conspiratorial fans than for Ryan. I'm not going to act like racial bias is the only factor at play here, clearly it's more complex than that, but making up conspiracies to protect your white fave while scapegoating the outspoken-against-racism Asian guy... it's not a good look. You have to realize that and evaluate your biases.

FOUR: The backlash to the backlash has become excessive and unhelpful.

I get it. When people are being dicks online, it's natural to speak out against it. And boy howdy, were some people being dicks this weekend. Emphasis on the some.

Yes, there's been a lot of mean-spirited, unconstructive hate sent Watcher's way over the past few days. There's also been an incredibly large volume of constructive criticism from all corners of the fandom. Some of it's been discussed between fans, some of it's been shared directly with Team Watcher. It doesn't stick in your mind as strongly as blatant hate does, but I can assure you, it's there.

And in the effort to defend Watcher against that hate, a lot of you have made it really hard for good-faith criticism to be heard.

Seriously, every time I see someone on the Wiscord politely criticize one of Watcher's decisions, they're immediately shut down by a fellow fan. Same thing happened to me in an unofficial fan server earlier today. My good-faith critique wasn't as important as the fact that some asshole could hypothetically make a similar argument in bad faith. Any attempt at a calm, reasoned discussion of Watcher's issues as a company gets drowned out with blind positivity.

Let me make my stance crystal clear: people are allowed to be upset about things that they aren't being forced at gunpoint to pay for. That's like, the the basis of media criticism. "You don't HAVE to pay for it so you shouldn't complain about it" is not an argument that should be taken seriously here on Al Gore's internet.

There's also been a lot of disingenuous use of the "don't you believe artists should get paid?" argument, because yes I do, and yes they have been getting paid. By thousands of people at once - far more supporters than most working artists receive in a lifetime. I personally have been supporting them financially since January of 2020, literally since day one. Watcher's situation evidently isn't ideal, but as far as independent creators go they're pretty darn privileged to have the following they have.

And if you think that Team Watcher has actually totally been doing the right thing all along, then you're wrong. The guys at Watcher themselves admitted that. If they really are the bastions of honesty you're convinced they are, you'll accept that. Above all, the changes they announced today are not proof that "the bullies won". If the bullies won, there would be no streaming service. What happened was a compromise, and the assholes in this fandom didn't want a compromise.

Look, I know you guys. I remember the old days, when we weren't afraid to provide feedback to Watcher when they fucked up, and over much smaller fumbles than this recent one. I know we've all put a lot of money and time into this company and the people behind it. The sunk-cost fallacy is a very powerful thing. But please don't let your hatred for bullies and love for the boys completely blind you to valid criticism. You can't entirely shield them from growing pains if what you want for them is real growth.

FIVE: This isn't a real point in the list I just had to separate my closing thoughts from the rest of the essay I accidentally wrote. Whoops.

The other day, I saw somebody (can't recall their handle, sorry) describe some fan reactions to Friday's announcement as "post-divorce honesty". It's far from the only comparison to a breakup I've seen. That phrase has been ringing in my head for a while now. Because this situation has made a lot of people reevaluate what they like about Watcher, why they became a fan in the first place, and if it's worth sticking around.

Watcher made a mistake. One that they could walk back but can't undo. Their reputation is never going to be the same as it was before. Likewise, a lot of fans said things that can't be taken back, and now that's tied to their reputation in our community. I can't blame anyone for feeling uneasy right now.

Hm. When I started writing this, I had an actual ending in mind. I don't know where that went.

Maybe that's the note I end this massive ramble on? Watcher's future is uncertain, the community's future is uncertain, so I'm uncertain about the last part of this post...? Agh. There's a reason why I'm more of a fiction writer than an essayist. It's getting late, I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and my browser's beginning to slow down from the sheer weight of my draft being open for so long.

Just... try to take it easy on each other, okay? It's been a hell of a week, and we haven't even finished Monday yet.

#watcher #ryan bergara #steven lim #shane madej #good lord. we all gotta sleep.

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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

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BTS Tutorial: Pandora's Unlimited Looping

As Whoopi Goldberg once famously said in the movie Ghost: "You in danger, girl." Many chart accounts on Twitter are saying our streams have Jimin dropping out of the Top 20 already.

Looping on Pandora is a crucial strategy at a critical time when YouTube is deleting views, radio is reluctant, and our Spotify playlists must support several members. We must make use of all tools available.

Please read this post and share the link to this tutorial with all big accounts and your social media. We need all hands on deck.

Pandora is an old and trusted streaming service that counts for Billboard charts.

If you have a free 90-day premium trial, it lets you make your own playlist that you can loop for 24 straight hours without clicking around or signing in.

Here's why you don't want to just use the free version:

--the streams count three times LESS than premium streams

--Pandora will auto-play other songs in between the songs you want

--there are constant ads you have to sit through to get to a song

So just bite the bullet and use a free trial. It's good for months and they will remind you before you get charged!

Okay, so, let's assume you've been a good ARMY and you've made your free premium Pandora account.

You want to start straight away searching for songs to save into MY COLLECTION.

Today, we need to make a playlist to promote Face--specifically Like Crazy. (We can also use this strategy later to help all of BT'S songs. Our goal right now is to prevent freefall in Week 3 before D-Day is out. But this will be good practice for all our boys once we get it down pat, especially if YouTube doesn't get straightened out!)

My playlist looks like this:

Now look here. There are 1,440 minutes in a day. We know Like Crazy is 3:32 minutes long. In theory, you could loop this song 410+ times in a day and all those plays will count. We know that 150 premium streams is the equivalent of buying the song once, so looping like this is like buying the song twice that day.

THIS IS HOW WE BEAT THE DROP IN SALES AND CULLED VIEWS.

I am not saying you shouldn't buy. You should. In fact, both SHERRY and JIMIN FUNDS will be prioritizing Like Crazy digitals in Week 3, so please buy if you are US/PR ARMY and can make new accounts!

Either way, when you make a Pandora playlist of all of Jimin's Like Crazy versions, remember to click that loop button once on the bottom ribbon:

And then just sit back every day and let those streams pour in.

Puppykitties, I know you must be so tired. I have an eyestrain migraine a mile wide and am not supposed to be on the computer right now. I'm certain the last thing you want to do is delve into making new accounts when you're already working hard.

Word on the street is that using Pandora WORKS WONDERS:

We already know this is a tried and true technique for other K-pop fandoms whom I will not be mentioning here. I appreciate their hard work and respect the knowledge they've earned. Please leave them alone. ARMY needs to focus on BTS and make good use of the techniques they have learned.

For visual learners, here's an instructional video on setting up Pandora, but honestly, it's pretty intuitive.

youtube

PLEASE COPY THE LINK TO THIS TUTORIAL AND SEND IT TO EVERY MAJOR JIMIN-SUPPORTING ACCOUNT YOU KNOW ON TWITTER AND TUMBLR.

I know we have some very important conversations that need to be had, but I strongly feel we need to put shipping and solo discourse aside right now. We are losing precious time because ARMY is reluctant to use this app. But we cannot maintain buying records like we did for the first two weeks of Face.

We NEED to use Pandora--in addition to requesting radio play and using Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube, and Facebook-- and hope those streams supplement sales drops.

Please do not abandon any platform even if they frustrate you. I'm just saying I don't think I can over-emphasize how crucial Pandora is going to be for Week 3 for Jimin. And isn't Jimin what unites us all?

I really, really need your help to get all major Jimin accounts familiarized and on board with this, so Jimin fans can hop on Pandora early this week and go hard. It is the most effective use of our energy right now.

FIGHTING!

Love, Roo

P.S.

To my friends tagged below, any help spread the word is deeply appreciated. Thank you all!

@chikooritajjk

@stormblessed95

@shellbells-things

@ejassy

@mariajmajesty

@kanmom51

@kmgoogiemin

@sunandmoonjikook

@minggukieology

@dgtn

#jimin #park jimin #jikook #face by jimin #like crazy by jimin #BTS_Tutorial #Youtube

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dreamofdawn · 1 year

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If ur still taking reqs can u do Ike bf hcs

✧✧You ask and you shall receive ✧✧

Main pairing: Ike Eveland x Reader/You

Au: none

Genre: Fluff

Characters: Ike Eveland, Reader

Type: [HEADCANON], One shot, or Series

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IKE EVELAND BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

Now for our sweet novelist from the past, His is a very sweet boyfriend! (That may or may not can rival shu Yamino)

Anyways, he is very sweet like candy like .

He is very caring and thoughtful especially for you. You are his very first priority above anything else. No questions.

Nicknames: Älskling, my love, Love, beloved. Ofc it includes some swedish nicknames even if you can't understand swedish. Älskling would be the most nickname he would call for you.

Cuddling with him is super comfy and soft. He would be the big spoon and would be so warm for you to cuddle. Hfjdjsjjs his so freaking sweet he would rub your back while you two continue to doze around.

Moving on, spending time together: You two would be mostly in a Library reading books while enjoying each others company (that's so fucking cute) if not in the library then a cafe to eat and talk about random things. (Honestly anything is fine for him as long as you both get to spend time together)

Jealously: Not really jealous he trusts you so there is zero room for jealousy (or so he says) but if I would rate it 2/10. As I said not really jealous but ofc he can get bothered and annoyed if the person can clearly see him but continues to flirt with you (what an ass) he would greet you with a hug everytime you guys see each not only to show his affection but to also show you are already taken (sucks to suck) if they won't get the hint then he would give you a kiss on the lips but as while your eyes are closed you couldn't see the way he was glaring at the (poor) person.

If YOUR the one who is jealous: ofc jealousy is quite common in almost everyone, He ofc knows this. He is very observing with you, so expect that he would already know that your getting jealous. He would reassure you and would lets you complain to him. If your the type to not open up then he would wait until YOU are comfortable to talk about. (So sweet and caring mapapasanaol ka nalng)

Now cooking: I'd say his a great cook, he would cook for both you and him if you can't cook. If you can then expect some sweet and fun cooking sessions. HE WOULD MAKE BREAKFAST FOR YOU IN BED, okay he would I'm taking this Headcanon with me in my own grave if I can.

Anyways, his HAIR, his hair would be very soft and (you smell) smell very nice. He will late you play with it maybe even style it but he would just sigh and look ok at you with a 'are you serious?' but he means no harm.

Streaming: if your a streamer too them expect some Collab here and there. The Quilldren would swoon at they way you both Interact with each other. If you don't though then he would let you sit next to him (or his lap) so you two can still spends some quality time together, and if you things to do, sit next to him while he streams don't be shy. He would help you with things you can't do.

Now dates: yes. As I said library dates would be very common for both of you. But also aquarium dates are also there, looking at different fishes while holding hands and overall being sweet. (Hdjdshhs I want this kind of relationship)

If you having a bad day: he would notice very quickly even if you try to hide it, his very attentive to you especially the way you feel. He lead you on the couch to sit down and rub your back while waiting for you to open up, if you do then he would LISTEN to every word you say as you continue to rant about it. He would then cook you your favorite food (because food is everything) Now if you don't the he would hug you and whisper sweet nothings in your ears to try to relax you and take you mind out of those things.

Love language: Word of affiliation and Act of service.

He would write poems/novels about you because you are his muse and he probably may or may not have a lot of poems about you. HE WOULD FREAKING FLIRT WITH YOU IN SWEDISH, why? Because he like the way you looked confused.

If you have any hobbies that you are very passionate about, he would support you 1000% he would maybe try them out if he can.

If your sick: HE WILL MAKE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED FOR YOU OKAY?! He just would. And he wouldn't let you lift a single finger, he will take care of you until you get better. If you have somewhat trouble sleeping then he would read (either a novel, story or a poem) out loud for you with his super soothing and calm voice. (You mostly likely fell asleep before it could end.)

IKE EVELAND is a need not a want for a lover. End of presentation. Thank you.

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A/n: another one done wow. Hope y'all enjoyed this. Sorry if it's short 😔.

#ike eveland x reader #luxiem x reader #luxiem #Ike eveland #fluff #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader #Ike eveland fluff

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heyalma89 · 2 months

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This whole Watcher thing is upsetting for many. I have been watching Shane and Ryan for YEARS like many of you. I loved their banter with the black screen and their dialogue being in different colors. I was like "Hey these guys are funny!" I was definitely hooked. I agree with many of you that's what WE want is just simple. I also get it as a creative person you have to "get that bag" as the young kids say but you don't do that by screwing over your fans. You mentioned in the video there were shows that weren't working so why not stop producing them? Simple that saves you money!!! You work on promoting that Patreon. I'm not saying fire people because people need their livelihood but before you started hiring SO many people you should've reflected on what was possible team size wise. I've seen so many people being rude like "you guys aren't fans it's just $6" you don't know what goes on in other people's lives. I'm glad that YOU can afford $6 but to someone else that might be buying an essential item or money towards a meal. Also have we learned nothing from other streaming services? Everything starts at one price but eventually goes up especially if they're trying for bigger and bigger production value. How are they doing these tours in Glasgow or Scotland if they alienated those same fans because they're streaming services apparently aren't available internationally (at least not yet). I genuinely miss "Are You Scared?" And when Shane had to guess if the story was true or not and they did plenty of that in quarantine. No fancy sets just simple storytelling. I'm happy for them and I hope things go well because I don't like wishing ill on people because I do believe in karma but I do feel disappointed by them. Yes some of you have they said "They don't owe you anything you're all being babies!" While yes the content was free people went to shows, bought the merch, and watched them for YEARS. It is about consideration of the people that have followed you for years. They should've done a survey or just be plain honest "Hey guys we didn't budget correctly and we need to do this to afford etc..." people are going to appreciate/respect the hustle more if you're honest or were like hey we messed up. It isn't so much that they "owe" us anything it just feels like they betrayed a lot of their fans and it manifests especially the ending to that video of "if you can't afford it then goodbye" why is art only for the the rich or those who can afford it? Someone on here said "entertainment isn't free" so people shouldn't be able to enjoy fun things or be exposed to fun experiences because that's only for the wealthy? What an elitist attitude trust me the rich don't care about you or I and you saying that won't make them like you more. I hope everything goes well for Ryan, Shane, and Steven because they have worked hard but I will not be joining them.

#ryan and shane #watcher entertainment #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim

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ugh-yoongi · 2 months

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so, you wanna buy merch but you don't wanna give hybe money: a beginner's guide to the resale market

hi, friends! your friendly secondhand buyer/seller here to help anyone who may be participating in the hybe boycotts or just want some help navigating the merch resale markets.

(i am US-based, so hopefully people from other countries can reblog and chime in with where they buy from!)

as a general psa: none of these sites are foolproof. there is always a possibility of getting scammed and/or ripped off. i would recommend having a general baseline knowledge of what certain items are worth and what they look like, especially photocards. you do not want to pay any amount of money for a fake card. it's also helpful to get a general idea of pricing, because member pricing is absolutely a thing as well as listing items for 5x the cost just to see if someone will pay it. additionally, you do not have to and should not feel obligated to spend any amount of money on k-pop, which has a severe issue with overconsumption and is generally terrible for the environment. you are still a fan if you have no merch. you are still a fan if you don't stream. you are still a fan if you're participating in boycotts. i know it's easy to get caught up in the hype of a new merch release for your favorite group and feel like you need to buy it immediately, so this guide is here to show you there are options beyond giving hybe money the second items are announced.

mercari (us) — probably one of the most popular online marketplaces for k-pop merch. very easy to both buy and sell on here. pros: decent to good protections for both buyers and sellers, especially for items that get lost or damaged in transit (however, this depends on which shipping cost/label the seller chooses; free shipping generally comes with no insurance) and lots of options. you can also make offers on prices. cons: fees (these used to be paid for by the seller but are now paid for by the buyer) and sometimes ridiculous listing prices. see psa above.

social media (insta, reddit, facebook, etc.) — i don't buy from these places often, but they're generally popular for a reason. there are a ton of selling hashtags on insta you can look through (usually #membernamewts, #groupnamewts, etc.), and r/kpopforsale is one of the bigger communities on reddit. i do not go on facebook, so if anyone has any trusted recs pls share! pros: generally cheaper because no one has to pay any fees. lots of options. tons of GOs for overseas items to help on shipping costs. cons: check proofs for whoever you buy from! the above psa once again applies. there's no recourse if you get scammed, you're just sol.

overseas proxy sites (japan & korea) — these can seem intimidating at first, so if anyone's interested i can do a separate guide, but they're super easy to use once you get the hang of it. if you want to shop on japanese sites like mercari, rakuten, etc., there are a bunch of proxy sites that will buy and store the items for you then ship to the us: buyee & neokyo are the two i'm most familiar with. you can use delivered korea if you want to buy from a korean site like bunjang. pros: prices are generally cheaper and stuff that's rare in the us (i.e. country-exclusive merch, photocards, etc.) is easier to get your hands on. idk about the other sites, but buyee often has coupons you can apply to listing prices and/or fees. they also used to send out a free shipping coupon for first-time buyers, so hold out for that. cons: fees and shipping costs. because you're using a proxy, you will pay a service fee on top of the item cost (usually a few dollars). additionally, shipping costs are generally much higher and are based on weight and size, so what looks like an $8 photocard becomes $11 with fees and then costs $30 to ship. these sites are best used as part of group orders so shipping costs can be split, if you're ordering enough to justify higher shipping, or if the item price + shipping is still cheaper than you can find it domestically.

how do i get a general idea of price? it seems cliche to say, but just... time and experience. the more you peruse the resale markets, the better of an idea you'll get for what items are worth. if something seems high, it probably is! don't blind-buy the first listing you see, either! keep shopping around for different prices or be patient for a good deal. if you're shopping on mercari, favorite the item — if it isn't selling right away, sellers often send offers or drop the price.

just some general notes: you can truly find almost anything you're looking for out there: photocards, dvds, albums, plush toys, etc. albums are super easy to find secondhand for dirt cheap since most collectors are after the photocards. same with new-ish dvds. you're not gonna find memories of 2016 cheap, but i recently bought mems21 without the photocard for $15.

i have bought and sold a ton on mercari and buyee specifically, so please reach out if you have any questions! <3

#buying guide #hopefully it's ok if i use this hashtag for this:#hybedivestfromzionism #lmk if not and i will remove <3

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astoundingbeyondbelief · 11 months

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Kaiju Week in Review (June 25-July 8, 2023)

I picked a bad time to skip a week lol

Ultraman Blazar, the 35th entry in the Ultra Series, has made the scene. Episode 1 throws us right into a battle between humanity and a space monster. Blazar's the pushy type, all but forcing Gento to transform, but he doesn't speak Japanese—just yowls. For now, that makes him the show's central mystery. The show's defense team, SKaRD, won't actually form until the next episode, at which point we should have a better sense of it. But I'm intrigued so far.

Free streaming TV service Pluto TV has added a Godzilla channel. It boasts, or should soon boast, all of the Japanese Godzilla films minus King Kong vs. Godzilla and Shin Godzilla, plus Rodan, all the Mothra movies, The War of the Gargantuas, Godzilla (1998), and Godzilla: The Series. A Blu-ray.com user has composed a detailed rundown of the versions of the films used—short version, nothing we haven't seen before apart from a few small changes.

I got to see Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken before its official June 30 release date thanks to Regal's Monday Mystery Movie series. I guess I didn't retain much memory of the trailer, because it surprised me how early in the film the title character first grew into a kaiju. I can't give it an especially enthusiastic recommendation—comparisons to Luca and Turning Red are inevitable and don't flatter Ruby at all. But I get a kick out of seeing kaiju in such alien territory as a hyperactive animated kids' movie, and they continue to show off their flexibility as metaphors (Ruby is plainly neurodivergent). 7 outta 10.

Nimona dropped on Netflix the same day, and that's one anyone reading this column should sprint to watch. It saves its kaiju for the third act, and I've held off on posting much about that part of the story yet, but trust me, Ishiro Honda would be proud.

After years of lackluster Gorgo home video releases, Vinegar Syndrome seems poised to finally do it right in 4K Ultra HD. (If you're like me and don't have a way to watch such discs yet, don't worry, it comes with a Blu-ray.) New scan, new audio commentary, special features both new and old, and a killer cover. For those unfamiliar with the company, note that this release is "only available on [the Vinegar Syndrome] website and at select indie retailers. Absolutely no major retailers will be stocking them."

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Every episode of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is now subtitled, a fine excuse to get acquainted with one of the Reiwa era's biggest surprises. No stakes, no budget, just a bunch of Toho's biggest stars acting like a bunch of fools.

There's always more Godzilla toy news than this column can hope to cover, but a few highlights:

Bandai's ever-expanding Movie Monster Series will release Gamera 1965, Gyaos 1967, and Battra larva later this month. The defunct Daiei Kaiju Series last offered a Showa Gamera in 2006, and never covered any of his foes from that era; here's hoping Gyaos is the first of many.

Hiya Toys now has the license to produce figures from the Toho Godzilla films, not just the Monsterverse.

Super7 will be selling ReAction figures of Godzilla chomping some helpless people on a subway train at San Diego Comic Con. They just get it (and hopefully the many of us who aren't going will have some way of getting it that doesn't involve scalpers).

The new unit in Godzilla Battle Line is Monster X/Keizer Ghidorah. The former evolves into the latter after his first death. Keizer is a heavy hitter with a twist: he regains 20% of his health with every defeated foe. Great against swarms, but you don't see too many of those these days.

Believe it or not (many are still in denial), but Pacific Rim turns 10 on Wednesday. Thankfully, per this Tweet from director Guillermo del Toro, the effective start of the Kaiju Renaissance (and one of my all-time favorite films) won't go unrecognized on its first big anniversary. I'm guessing a cast reunion?

More translations from Noah Oskow await on Toho Kingdom, these a collection of synopses of early versions of Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, and Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla from the Toho DVDs. Much of this has been translated in greater detail already, but the later drafts are interesting.

#kaiju week in review #godzilla #ultraman blazar #gorgo #pacific rim #ruby gillman teenage kraken #kaiju

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psychic-refugee · 4 months

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While I don't plan to get rid of Netflix anytime soon, I am going to try to buy up every series I can if it's offered in hard copy, preferably Blu Ray.

I simply do not trust streaming services to keep their full catalog, even for popular series. I especially will never outright purchase streaming series, because as we've seen, you don't actually own anything if it's solely in digital format. It's really a long term rental that you have no power over, on top of the subscription you're paying monthly for.

I bought Sandman on Blu Ray and I plan on buying Wednesday once that comes out.

If you have a beloved series and the physical copy option is available, I highly recommend you buy it. Even if you keep the subscription service indefinitely. You never know when they want to be greedy assholes and take it off their platform in order to avoid paying residuals.

#netflix sandman #netflix wednesday #netflix

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susiephone · 6 months

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So glad to see a fellow Tally/Shay shipper in the tag. Their relationship is just so good. Its such a gigantic mess. I felt so seen with my messy, queer, neurodivergent teenage female friendships, even if I needed until a reread two years ago until I acknowledged this this feels extremely queer and that is okay because I am queer too. Until then, all the female friendships I read were always just harmonic and nice and only ever threatened by boys, not these codependent, jealous messes.

The idea to center a YA dystopia around two girls who are deep friends with each other and maybe in love but are pitted against each other by the dystopian system (read: patriarchy, read: beauty culture) again and again is just absolutely amazing. I mean, there is a more traditional love triangle too, and its even well written enough to not drag down the series, unlike in most YA dystopias, but its not the center. At least not for me. For me, Tally and Shay are.

I could go on about them because I have thoughts (see: all the fanart and fics I have either already published or wait to publish until the trailer for the movie comes out), but the ask is already pretty long

first of all - i'm so sorry, i saw this message and fully intended to reply later that day i was like "oh i'll get to this after dinner!"

anyway! i was really struck by HOW different the love triangle in uglies is compared to other YA (especially YA dystopia). like the fact that tally doesn't definitively end up with either of them, and that neither boy turns evil (or at least antagonistic), and that both guys were good for her in their own way. but i especially loved that they both took a backseat to her friendship with shay, since that was by far the most interesting relationship in the whole thing

i'm cautiously optimistic about the movie (assuming it even happens). i personally think it'd work better as a series, but, well, after the shadow and bone debacle, i'm weary to trust any streaming service to actually follow through. i'm a bit worried about how mainstream actors who are all gorgeous anyway will be able to play the characters, and how they'll handle stuff like the specials' body modifications without looking silly (obviously there has to be an element of uncanny valley there, but i do worry it could look corny if they don't have a very good makeup artist).

i'm also VERY worried they'll make both tally and shay white. my personal hc is that tally is white and shay is asian, but tally could be any ethnicity, and shay was imo pretty clearly a woman of color. though i wouldn't be surprised if the movie cuts the parts that indicate that the pretty committee's standards are super racist- i wouldn't be surprised if they cut the themes of self-harm, too. (though tbh i'm of two minds about how that was portrayed in the books; i see what they were going for, but i do agree with some criticism i've seen that it could've been handled better.) any YA adaptation is bound to have some of its edge taken out. like the hunger games movies were pretty damn edgy in some aspects, but they're downright sanitized compared to the books.

one thing's for sure. if a movie happens and if they portray the tally/shay relationship at all competently, there will be an influx of shippers. i can see the angsty lyrics edits now.

#tallysgreatestfan #uglies #tally x shay #shay x tally

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calliecat93 · 1 year

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You know, for over a year now, my love and passion for animation has been dead. Talking about it doesn't make me happy anymore. Announcements don't make me excited anymore. I'll get a brief boost when rewatching an old favorite or talking to friends or when Disney releases a new film, but that's it and it doesn't last. I've been in funks before, but those both involved outside factors and there was something else int he medium I could turn to. But I don't anymore because I've explored every avenue and IDK if it's still gonna be around or not.

That's when it hit it. The reason why I am in such a funk. It is simple: I don't trust the studios or networks. I don't trust Disney (outside Pixar and the Feature Film department). I don't trust Cartoon Network. I don't trust Nickelodeon. I don't trust Netflix. I don't trust HBO Max. Name it and chances are I don't trust it. Why? Look at their recent actions. Nick canceling anything that can't be Spongebob in favor of more Spongebob. Disney cutting shows like The Owl House for no good reason. HBO Max removing such huge chunks of its library without so much as telling their staff. Everything has used up every ounce of goodwill that I have, and it's drained. I've been giving the benefit of the doubt SO many times for SO many years and so far I don't see signs of them convincing me that it's turning around like the last time I was in a funk and TMNT 2012 got me out.

It just hurts, you know? It sounds dumb, but I have devoted so much time and love to animation for my whole life. Even when I was told to outgrow it, I refused. When I'd see people mock it as a dumb kids thing, I'd reject it and keep going. None of that's changed either but it sucks when the groups in charge of animation treat it so horribly and only seem to be getting worse. Even the ones like CN that were created to allow for animation to grow, its a shell of its former self. I can't even put it on Boomerang anymore to enjoy the classics because they barely air them now and I've got enough streaming services as it is. It sucks. It just really sucks. And if I, a viewer, feel that way I can't even imagine how it has to feel for the folks working in the industry.

So then I wonder what to do now. I haven't found anything worth reigniting the passion, especially since who knows if it'll last a season worth investing in or not. I hate it. I hate feeling that this thing I love may not be worth it anymore save for the stuff I know I can go back to. It makes me feel horrible and empty since IDK where to turn to now. Getting back into music has helped but it's just not enough. Try more live-action? Get back into books? Get back into anime? Find something outside entertainment? I just don't know and I hate it. And I know how ridiculous that sounds, but this has been a part of my life for so long. It's meant so much to me, and now I just feel lost. I guess I really am that pathetic.

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keyrousse · 2 years

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So, I finished "The Sandman". Which is amazing because I don't remember when did I finish any show last. "Good Omens" maybe? I haven't even finished "Staged", which is 12 episodes of 15 minutes each and I have the DVD.

I haven't read the comics and I'm still debating (with myself) whether to do it. I'll probably take a look at a local library, although considering that the show is No 1 in Poland, too, if they even have the comics I'll probably have to get in line.

Anyway, 8/10.

Maybe it's because it started with the main character locked naked in a glass orb, looking like a piece of art and thus giving the fic writer in me a lot of scenarios for delicious hurt/comfort (I haven't written a fic for this - yet? - but a lot of other people did, which I greatly appreciate). After seeing those images, I could simply take joy from Tom Sturridge's acting - and then it got even better.

The cast is perfect. Acting is great. I enjoyed - and could easily follow! - the events, laughing, going 'awww!' or barely handling the tension (looking at you, ep5). Screencapping.

I don't know why on IMDb the notes tanked after ep6. Sure, the focus shifted from following Dream to Rose Walker, but that doesn't make episodes 7-10 bad. They're just different.

So. Anyway. I loved it and I hope we'll get s2. (and DVD/BluRay of s1, because I don't trust streaming services and prefer to have a physical copy of every medium I love. Yes, I still buy CDs, DVDs and BluRays. This is my way of showing love.)

(I still think one of the reasons the show's so good - and apparently a very faithful adaptation of the comics - is because Neil Gaiman was so passionate and closely involved. If only Andrzej Sapkowski cared about his world this much.)

Congrats to the whole team involved in the production of "The Sandman".

"I will build it again."

"No more ravens."

"Had a devil locked up in his basement."

I like your profile, sir. (I also loved that coat. I wouldn't wear it, but the leather parts looked like an armour)

I wonder if that was actually Tom Sturridge's hand. They removed the fingerprints and I'm sure he's grown his fingernails to look more claw-like, as seen especially in ep1, so it's possible it's not his hand.

I absolutely loved their dynamic here.

I still like your profile, sir.

Here comes the jerk! Up to that episode, I was wondering why people say Dream's an asshole. I was like, 'he's not human, he was hurt so he's angry, but a jerk? Naah.' Well, he is a jerk.

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"They're siblings, don't see that as erotic!" Yeah, well, if only Tom, Alexander, the writers, the director, the art department (or whoever is responsible for that setting) and the music department didn't make it look erotic. Because that scene was incredibly sexy.

I have about 280 screencaps. Sorry they're so dark, I'm lazy.

#The Sandman #screencaps #Tom Sturridge #Dream of the Endless

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shouldhavebeenpersephone · 9 months

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AAAAAAAAAAH One Way by S.J. Jordan was SO GOOD! Going for the sequel next but pleasssseee do you have any show or movie recs??

AAAAAAAAAA I am so glad you enjoyed it! Feel free to scream at me about it ANY time. I think I may have to go and reread it now.

In regards to other recommendations... oooooh boy. I have so many. This took me a while because I was considering if this would be respectful to the strikes, but we haven't been told to stay away from any streaming services etc. yet, so after removing a scab from the recommendation list I decided to post it. Apologies in advance for the tangents I go on for every single recommendation. Some of these have been quite popular so you might know of them but it still felt worth mentioning.

Under the cut is a non-exhaustive list of media in no particular order that makes me want to eat glass. Take a shot every time I say heartbreaking.

Movies

Lord of the Rings 1/2/3 - I feel no need to explain myself. If you haven't seen this please for the love of god get your hands on the extended versions and watch them. Then read the books and watch the movies again. Rinse and repeat.

How to Train Your Dragon and How to Train Your Dragon 2 - You read that right, NOT the third movie. In this house the third movie doesn't exist. This is an animated movie and sequel based on the book it shares a name with by Cressida Cowel. The movie follows protagonist Hiccup who lives in a town of Vikings who hunt and kill dragons. He finds out that he can't kill a dragon he has caught, and is surprised when the dragon won't kill him either. His curiosity gets the best of him and he returns to watch the dragon in it's hideout, and a beautiful friendship emerges from a very messy situation. It doesn't happen often that a movie is better than the book, especially if the source material has been changed so drastically, but HTTYD pulls it off. The first movie was also my introduction to fandom, and both movies have an incredibly special place in my heart. Fun fact: I actually am the OP of a pretty popular fandom headcannon and it makes me giggle every time I see it be mentioned in the HTTYD tag.

Inception - Obligatory action movie. Heist movie except sci-fi and also everyone is queer and sexy (no it's not canon but it is canon to me). Conman Leo DiCaprio breaks into rich boy Cilian Murphy's dreams to convince him to give up his father's business in exchange for getting his criminal file wiped clean so he can see his kids again. I love sad dads and I love mind games and I love high stakes and I love time fuckery and I love mentally ill women. Watch it if you also do.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire - Perfect. Showstopping. Incredible. Does not pass the reverse Bechdel test. It is so incredibly hearthbreaking and soft and tender. Period drama with lesbians. Painter Noémi Merlant is hired to pretend to be a companion to Adèle Haenel while secretly painting her portrait to be sent off to a man she is being married off to. There is betrayal and trust and community and lust and it's so gorgeous to look at. The attention to detail is incredible and I want to kiss Céline Sciamma for bringing this movie to my screen. I cry every time I watch it. Queer heartache done right.

The Lake House - I don't know if this movie is actually that good but to me it is perfect. Contractor Keanu Reeves moves into a gorgeous lake house (my dream home) and starts receiving letters addressed to the previous owner and doctor Sandra Bullock. When he gets a letter from her with her new address and sees it's to a building that's still in development, the two skeptics come to the conclusion they are living years apart and their post box is some sort of portal. They fall in love, things go wrong, things go right, and there is a dog!

Series

Orphan Black - Listen. Listen. LISTEN. Tatiana Maslany. Wow. She plays a dozen (if not more) clones and I still have a hard time believing they weren't all different people. Trouble kid forced to be an adult because she is a mother sees herself jump in front of a train and uhhhh has issues with that. She then discovers there are so many others like her, that they were a part of a cloning project and that she is a bit of a special case. There is a lot of plot I cannot summarize but it's deliciously queer (one of the main character clones is a lesbian as well as two prominent gay side characters and other minor queer and trans characters). Found family, questions of what it means to love and of morality, some wonderfully written character arcs and a decently satisfying end. First few episodes can be a bit hard to get into, but Tatiana Maslany is incredible and the show is totally worth it.

Adventure Time - This is a big comfort show for me, not only because Marceline and Princess Bubblegum were one of my first queer ships ever, but also because I enjoy this show just as much as an adult. No real main story line, you could watch individual episodes and still follow it. There are some heavy themes, but they are always handled so wonderfully and with a true sense of childlike wonder, and it makes me have faith in humanity again. Finn the Human and Jake the Dog go on adventures together in a gigantic fantasy land and meet lots of interesting figures. Even the evil characters get attention, compassion, screen time, and dignity. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so so so good.

The Mentalist - Sorry, there is a cop show in here. Simon Baker is an ex 'psychic' grieving father and husband working as a consultant with the CBI. His boss, Robin Tunney, is so in love with him she looks stupid. It's basically a man who is too smart for his own good running around, being charming or extremely annoying, and an exhausted tough-love type of woman running around fixing his messes. Oh and they catch killers. I am a Patric Jane kinnie, sue me. Jane and Lisbon are also very Griddlehark to me, kind of a what could have been if they had been friends from the beginning.

Russian Doll - Have I ever mentioned how much I love Natasha Lyonne? This is a kind of sexier Groundhog Day, where Natasha Lyonne keeps dying and waking up in the bathroom of her friend throwing her a birthday party. She loses her mind in the midst of gorgeous scenes, seriously beautiful cinematography, and in sexy ass outfits. If you like mind fuckery, cinematography, and sexy women this is the show for you. It sure is the show for me.

Arcane - Speaking of gorgeous visuals, Arcane is a beast of a show with such an incredible and unique look. Also so many hot and/or gay women. There are a few men too, they're okay, I do like me a pathetic little guy so it works. But WOMEN. So many powerful, intelligent, cunning, courageous women. I have to admit that I remember very little of the storyline, but I do know that they took 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl', said "yes and", and made a truly incredible and multi dimensional character with Jinx, with fully fleshed out motivations and morals (or lack thereof), understandable but still properly wrong actions, and such incredible story building around her progressing mental troubles. Must watch.

The Sandman - This one is not technically an obsession I have ever had, but it is a great watch and rewatch. I adore Vivienne Acheampong as Lucienne and I adore Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer and I adore Kirby Howell-Baptiste as Death. I also love pretty much anything that comes out of Neil Gaiman's brain so that helps. Great casting is what makes this show a winner for me. Morpheus/Dream gets locked up by some insane guy trying to capture death to bring back his son and he spends the rest of the show dealing with the consequences of being gone for decades. Tom Sturridge is a wet cat of a man and I do like that a lot as well. Very pretty cinematography seals the deal.

Misc.

The Magnus Archives - Podcast wildcard. Horror and paranormal and delicious. I love voice actors so much and archivists are hot. Becoming something you didn't choose and dealing with the repercussions of no longer really being human is so !!!!!!! I love it when people just go through the horrors. Everyone's voices scratch something in my brain that nothing else can reach. Brilliant piece of media.

What Remains of Edith Finch - Game wildcard. Semi-sandbox semi-railroad narrative. Gorgeous visual representations of so many difficult things in life. Particularly, the bit where one of Edith's family members loses himself to his own imagination is so gorgeous and heartbreaking. I have written essays on the cinematography of this game. It is so beautiful. Whether you lay it or watch a playthrough, you have to witness this.

MISSED RECOMMENDATIONS ARE HERE

There you have it.

I am sure there is more and I am sure I will be hitting my head on a wall after remembering something I forgot to include. Anyway- enjoy!

#Ash Answers

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endternal · 1 year

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lee taemin. nonbinary. he/him. asexual. ⇝ hey, isn’t that karam shin ( nickname: eden )? i think that the thirty year old from redacted works as a florist at the flower basket; toxicologist for the grim fox, but outside of that people describe them as the reflection of the moon over rippling water, a bubbling stream lapping against the rocks and the cool spray of the river; hands running through hair, nails digging into skin, a lonely figure hunched over in an empty room. i hear they are solitary & unusual, but they are also known to be intelligent & unswerving. consider giving them a visit at their home in the seal harbor apartment complex and get to know why they’re called the restless spirit.

IMPORTANT LINKS: will be added when they're ready !

IMPORTANT: Karam is nonbinary. His general presentation is sort of androgynous but he certainly does not identify as a man so please don't refer to him as one! (boy is okay, so long as it's not being used to infantalise, and anything a little more grey area (e.g; dude and guy and so on) is generally fine). He uses he/him pronouns solely because he's used to them and he's a little resistant to change. He does not mind being referred to as they/them but he doesn't personally make use of those pronouns.

BASICS

The first thing most people will pick up about Karam is that he isn't very talkative, nor is he very emotive. He's not incapable of emoting and he's certainly not emotionless but he's not especially good at expressing himself (particularly in a way that's useful to other people) so he doesn't bother. As for talking, he just doesn't feel like it most of time. There are times where he might talk about something at length but, for the most part, he keeps it to a minimum. This means he has a habit of being quite blunt and curt but it doesn't really bother him, even if it bothers other people. (That said, he doesn't speak in a monotone; the way he speaks is quite measured but that's about it.) He's more expressive and more talkative around people he genuinely likes.

However, the people he genuinely likes are few and far between. Karam is, overall, very untrusting. He is especially untrusting of people who aren't fellow miroir and, because there is, for the most part, no immediate to separate the miroir from everybody else, there is nobody he instinctively trusts. He is hyperaware of his status as a miroir and the fact that people would likely fear or hate him if they knew the truth about what he was.

Karam has a deep affinity for nature. His whole upbringing was spent among nature. There are times where he'd rather be among the trees than other people. This is precisely why he's taken up work as a florist. He's not made for retail at all and his customer service skills are non-existent but being around plants all day puts his mind at ease.

He knows a lot about plants (and other stuff like wildlife, rocks, water, whatever else) and even more about which plants can definitely kill you. Actually, he just knows a lot about poison in general. You can pin that one on the whole toxicologist thing.

Absolutely one of those people who will sneak up and appear behind you when they want to talk and freak you The Fuck out. As in, you won’t hear him coming and he won’t announce himself. He’ll just show up and you won’t notice him until you turn around. And, no matter how often he’s told, he’s not going to understand that’s it maybe not a regular thing to do (or, at the very least, he might try to understand but he’s not going to take it on board).

Karam is autistic. Not diagnosed. (yes, a second autistic phoebe oc.....gotta make ur own representation around here <3 although tbh, i did not plan on writing karam as autistic. he just ended up extremely autistic-coded and i decided to commit :D ) HOWEVER!! I want to be clear that the references later in this post to Karam being very good at memorising a lot of information should not be seen as some kind of Autistic Savant stereotype. Karam is very smart but he's not some kind of cartoonish genius. He also straight up sucks at retaining information he doesn't care about.

Likes to feed the rats living in the Seal Harbor apartment complex. Nobody's caught him doing it as of yet but the Mysterious Rat Feeder isn't popular with his neighbours.

Karam hates loud and busy places and will avoid them. Maybe not at all costs but fervently enough. He just finds them VERY overwhelming.

Spent the first part of his life outside of the Grim Fox homeless. He can't remember how long it was because he never kept count. He got by as best he could by living on the streets and stealing food.

He is also asexual, largely because I just can't see him caring about sex. He's not sex-repulsed, just disinterested. I'm not sure quite where he falls with regards to romantic attraction but it's probably somewhere between biromantic and aromantic; it's not something I've had a chance to explore yet but he's also not particularly interested in that either.

BACKSTORY (tw: death, murder, v brief vomit mention)

a fair note in advance, most of this is written in a deliberately vague and cryptic way. i know this isn't the most accessible way of delivering info about a character but karam's backstory is meant to be a little unclear! it's also very much subject to change as i work stuff out!

He has no delusions about what he is. His face isn't his own, his body isn't his own, his DNA is not his own. He's a twisted reflection of some distant unfortunate but the image in the mirror is too sharp. Sharpened to the point of distortion, in fact. But what is his own is his name; Karam. The nickname 'Eden' was granted to him as a matter of necessity but Karam was entirely his own. Who knows what the Original's name was? Who cares? The name Karam is his own. A marker of his own identity. Abandoned and tossed aside, Karam has no plans to step into a life unknown to him. Karam, an old Korean word meaning river. Nothing is static, only fluid. Ever-flowing. (He had asked his handler if he could choose own name. They had taken pity on him and allowed it; he was just a clone, he wasn't meant to have a life of his own so it was the least they could offer him.)

There is very little, in fact, that Karam knows about the person he was intended to replace. They were not very old, just a child, when they vanished. There was no history for Karam to learn, nobody for him to imitate. The fake has outlived the genuine. What little details Karam had known have long since slipped through his fingers, replaced only with the harrowing knowledge that he shouldn't exist. That he's different. Do people look at him strangely? Do they suspect him? No, they have know way of knowing the truth. But, if they did know, wouldn't they hate him? Would they even see him as a person? Or just the ghost of a child who was never supposed to grow up?

He'd been raised as a toxicologist, adept in all sorts of poisonings. Subtle. Showy. Painless. Agonising. Natural. Chemical. They'd decided that his talent for quick memorisation, his ability to absorb information, had made him perfect for the job. You wouldn't necessarily know it to look at him but in that head of his is a seemingly endless list of ways to kill a person. He might even tell you so, not that you'd believe him. A pretty boy like that, knowing such dreadful things? Surely not. (Don't pay too much attention to the boy at the flower shop, he's a little strange.)

He was deployed as a toxicologist too. Was even active for a good while. Karam has a body count and he can't quite remember the exact number. There was never any reason to, he was just following orders. Didn't even flinch when he watched, from a safe and hidden distance, as his mark choked on his own vomit. Karam was good at his work. He may have been a fraud of a person but he was a genuine toxicologist and he excelled in his work. (The more time he spends in Anchorage, the more the numb sting of guilt starts to burn in the back of throat; back then, he'd never thought of his targets as people because he'd been so cut off from the rest of the world but being forced to live in the real world has put things into perspective.)

Suddenly, it all stops. Orders that used to trickle in like raindrops dried up; a drought of purpose. He's not useful anymore. He's nothing. His whole life had been built on strict rules and a particularly routine, and it had all fallen apart before he could make sense of it. They'd left him out in the cold, thrown him aside like an unwanted plaything. And yet he was too detached from reality to hate them or even feel angry. He was only afraid. It did not take him long to learn that there was no place for somebody like him in the real world. Because he knew himself to be an outcast, he immediately fell in with the wrong crowds. Did things he shouldn't. He was young, lost and confused.

But he was found one night, lying sprawled out on the concrete and barely conscious, by a kind and unexpected stranger. They took him back to their place, helped clean him up. They let him stay a while, because he had no home to go to, and helped him get a job at the flower shop. And, then, when he had the money to rent his own place, they let him leave. He had been a distant guest, mostly keeping to himself and revealing very little of his own history but he had been grateful for their help, even if he had never been able to show it. (will probably submit this as a wanted connection at some point!)

Although he does his best to pretend otherwise, Karam never quite adjusted to his new life. Assimilation hasn't come easy to him. He still thinks himself an outsider, a ghost amongst the crowds. A glitch in the system. He likes to leave the city, from time to time, to explore the wilderness and woodlands of the region. He feels grounded there, away from people. There's no judgement there amongst the trees. No shame, no guilt, no hopelessness.

His work at the flower shop is not all that fulfilling and he feels like there's still a great big cavity in his chest; his expansive knowledge of flora is put to good use but he doesn't feel as though he's doing anything. And it makes him feel restless.

Please note that this character is not just a character I've been writing for a while (since 2019) but actually an alternate take on that character. In his original storyline, Karam isn't actually human. I thought it'd be fun to write him in setting anyway so this is kind of a human AU for him? This isn't really smth anybody else needs to keep in mind but [lease be patient with me if it takes me a minute to make everything work with this version!

#« 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌 » / 「 intro. 」#anchorintro #hopefully this all makes enough sense!#it might be a little weird and rambly bc my brain is a little scrambled #and hopefully nothing here disrupts the established miroir lore! (i left his childhood very vague for that exact reason)

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