#I get that my dad was like that cause my grandparents were zero affectionate so they probably act the same way to him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moldisgoodforyou · 3 years

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love you for a long time

gif from @anakin-skywalker

warnings: graphic depictions of abuse, physical and verbal, cursing

wordcount: 3.2k

________

In the afternoon of Christmas day at Charlie’s house, the excitement had calmed down and everyone was recovering from the aftermath of the activities that morning.

“You don’t mind if I head out for a bit, right?” JJ asked, scuffing the floor with his boot as he spoke. “No, of course not. Go hang with the pogues, I’ll see you later.” Charlie nudged his shoulder. He paused before leaving. “I’ll be back, promise.” She furrowed her brow slightly. “I know, J. Go have fun.” He turned his lips up in a smile, a little forced, and gave her a quick kiss before leaving. “Love you.” She handed him a plate of cookies she had set aside just for his friends and smiled. “Love you too.”

The afternoon was fun, relaxed, and he felt at home again in the Chateau, boots kicked up on the couch and Kie knocking them away like normal. He only felt slightly guilty when a joint was passed around but limited himself so he felt just a small high, brief enough for the moment. He only allowed himself to smoke when he was in the Outer Banks, in the safety of the Chateau, and he didn’t want to come home high to Charlie - mainly for her family’s sake. (If he even heard one teasing remark about him being a bad influence on Jamie, he’d swear off drugs forever.)

“Didn’t bring your girl, JJ?” John B greeted him, slinging his arm around his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug.

JJ beamed the way he always did when someone referred to Charlie like that, as his girl, but shook his head and lied straight through his teeth. “Nah, they went to her grandparents’ house. I get to spend the day with you fools.”

“Lucky you.” Pope quipped, joining the hug. JJ grinned and tucked his head in with the two, finding a familiar comfort in their embrace. “Missed you guys, you know.”

Really, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop by his dad’s if he had Charlie in tow. He did this every year - showed up, got yelled at (sometimes worse), and was sorely reminded of why he didn’t talk to his dad or get replies if he sent him texts of what he was up to at school. His text thread with Luke was a string of unanswered messages from JJ, with a picture of him and Charlie dressed up for a formal - ‘hey dad, this is my girlfriend’ or a short message about school - ‘got an A on my marketing midterm today, kind of a big deal.’ Despite the pain it caused, JJ kept going back, like a moth drawn to flame.

When JJ came back to the Walker’s home, later than expected, he headed straight to Charlie’s room, barely giving her parents a greeting as he passed. His fists were shoved in his pockets and he gave them a brief nod and an excuse of “gonna go grab a hoodie from Charlie” before heading upstairs, even though it was technically off limits. Her dad went to say something but her mom registered his change in demeanor and stiff posture and stopped him, cutting him off from speaking and waving JJ upstairs.

Charlie was playing a card game with Jamie on her bed when JJ came in, awkwardly standing in the doorway. The siblings glanced up at the same time and Jamie grinned, gesturing for him to come play, while Charlie frowned as her eyes scanned over his set jaw and eyes rimmed red. “I’ll finish playing with you later, Jamie, take the cards.” She instructed calmly, not taking her eyes off JJ.

“But I -”

“Jamie. Go.” Jamie huffed and gathered the cards, then slipped out past him, JJ ruffling his hair affectionately as he left. JJ stepped forward slightly, shutting the door behind him, and finally took his hands out of his pockets, flexing them. Charlie spoke quietly. “What happened, J?”

“I, uh.” His voice cracked but he stood tall, unmoving. “Saw my dad.”

She stood and tugged him toward the bed by his wrist, noticing his split knuckles. “Did he...?” She trailed off curiously, frowning. He had only joked about his dad being a deadbeat in passing, and never quite elaborated on the extent of the abuse. Just said he was hit as a kid and left it at that, and Charlie was so shocked into silence that she left it too.

JJ took a careful seat next to her on the bed and hissed when he bit his split lip. She took his hand in hers carefully, rubbing her thumb soothingly over the knuckles. “JJ, what...what exactly...” Charlie asked quietly, unsure on how to approach it.

____

The first time something happened, JJ was ten.

His mom had just left him and Luke, and his dad had drunk practically half the liquor store’s supply within a week. JJ stayed out all day, only returning at sundown after he had stolen a sandwich or so from the grocery store (sometimes of his own accord, sometimes the teenager working the other side of the counter looked at the messy unkempt kid with pity and slid one surreptitiously across the counter). He had done his best to avoid his dad when he knew he’d be active and was often able to creep back into his rickety old house and into his room without incident.

One night he miscalculated.

He returned home after playing with John B out on the beach all day, hair still wet and bare feet sandy. When his little feet made enough noise to alert his dad sitting at their decrepit kitchen table, cigarette in hand, he froze.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Luke drawled, eyes narrowing at JJ’s presence.

“School.” JJ replied hurriedly. “I gotta shower. G’night Dad.” He tried side stepping past his dad, but he caught JJ’s scrawny arm in his grip. He eyed over his child’s appearance, zeroing in on his eyes.

“Blue eyes just like your mother.”

JJ merely nodded, unsure.

“You remind me of her. Every fuckin’ day.” He snarled. “You’re the reason, you know that?”

“What?”

“She packed up and left me with you. Didn’t want to take care of you anymore.” His grip tightened on JJ’s arm and JJ’s heart rate quickened, suddenly aware this wasn’t the normal lecture he was used to receiving from his dad.

“I can take care of myself.” He offered meekly.

Wrong answer.

JJ’s dad brought his hand to his face and slapped him across the cheek, hard enough for JJ’s ears to start ringing and his cheek to sting with the imprint of his dad’s fingers. JJ stumbled backward out of his dad’s grip, hand to his cheek as he just stared at his dad in shock.

“You can’t. You’re a fucking kid, a fucking kid we didn’t need, and now you’re a fucking burden!” Luke roared, spitting at JJ’s feet. JJ never let his wide eyes stray from his dad as he backed up, further and further out the room, until he was scrambling out the window in his bedroom and taking off as far as he could get away from the tiny little shack he called home.

He slept in a hammock by the beach that night, letting the sound of the waves rock him to sleep after he cried himself to exhaustion. A mistake. A burden. Just like his mother. Those words echoed through his head in his dreams and he tossed fitfully in the hammock, little fingers curled into the woven material.

___

As JJ recalled those first moments, a memory he had tried so hard to suppress but was unsuccessful each time, he stared ahead and stayed stiff, jaw set. “He started when I was ten, after my mom left. Then I moved out when I was 18 and avoided him like hell.” He laughed, no humor to his tone. “Guess he’s not done with trying to hit his kid though.”

“How often?” Charlie’s voice was small and pulled JJ abruptly out of his thoughts. Her gaze flitted over his expression, filled with worry, afraid to hear the answer. He shrugged. “Twice? Three times?”

“...a month?”

He laughed again, bitter. “A week. Sometimes in a day, but I learned how to run fast enough.”

“JJ.” She breathed out, horrified.

“Don’t.” He replied quickly, still not looking at her. “Don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not - J, you should have taken me, I would have stopped it - I’ll go and -” He grabbed her knee suddenly as she moved to rise. “Hell no, Charlie, you’re not going there over my dead body.” JJ finally made eye contact, swallowing hard as he tried blinking back tears. Truthfully, he was more overcome with emotion at her immediate willingness to protect him than anything.

At that, she went to throw her arms around him, moving too quick, and he flinched out of instinct. Charlie’s face dropped as she pulled her arms back to her side, until he leaned slightly into her and rested his head down on her shoulder.

She moved slower at his permission, tugging him gently to lay back on the bed, his head rested on her chest as she combed her fingers gently through his hair. After a while, she broke the silence. “J? Why’d you go?”

He shrugged, curling his hand around her hip. “Dunno. Thought he might come around and be nice for once. You know, Christmas spirit and all.”

“JJ, hon…” Her voice cracked and she tried choking back a sob, but it still eked out. JJ lifted his head, dried tear streaks down his cheeks as he’d let himself cry when she couldn’t see his face. “Hey. No crying on my account.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just -” She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I’m so fucking angry, JJ. The thought of anyone hurting you - especially your dad - you don’t deserve that.”

“Hm.”

“JJ.”

“Maybe I do.”

“JJ, don’t you fucking dare go there.”

He set his jaw and tucked back into her before continuing. “I said some stuff today I probably shouldn’t have.”

“That doesn’t give him any right to hit you, fucking hell.” Charlie seethed, though she rubbed his back soothingly. “I thought about hitting back.” He mumbled. “Does that scare you?”

“No. He would have deserved it.” She muttered, lips pressed together in a thin line.

JJ’s lips turned up in a small smile and he lifted his head, glancing up at her. “You’re hot when you’re mad,” he tried deflecting. She scowled and tugged him up to kiss him, hard. “Listen.” Another kiss. “I love you. So much.” Another one. “You are so, so, special to me, hon, and you don’t deserve any of that. Not a single second of it.”

As he opened his mouth to argue, she cut him off with another kiss. “Don’t you dare protest, because I won’t listen. You’re the most loyal person I know, J. You deserve the world.”

He kept silent but the corners of his eyes crinkled into a smile and the tips of his ears burned red in embarrassment. “Charlie.”

“No, I’m not done. I feel so safe when I’m with you. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with how much I fucking love you. Always will.” Her kisses turned sweet and she peppered them all over his face until he flinched as she reached his cheekbone, a red mark blooming. “Careful, sweetheart.” He murmured and she pulled back, frowning. “I’m going to get ice and rubbing alcohol, then I want to clean you up. Your knuckles look rough.”

JJ shook his head quickly. “It’s fine, Charlie, I don’t want your mom and dad to -”

“I won’t tell them. Stay here.” She cut him off and kissed him quickly before heading downstairs.

Her dad was whispering to her mom in the kitchen, a deep frown on his face, and stopped abruptly when Charlie rounded the corner. Her mom looked shocked and raised her eyebrows at Charlie. “Charlotte, is it...?”

“Were you eavesdropping?” Charlie asked, affronted on JJ’s behalf.

“I went to go check on him and I overheard. I’m sorry.” Her dad apologized quickly. “We won’t say a word.” He added, cutting her mom off from saying anything else.

“Don’t you dare. He only just opened up to me and I still don’t think I’m getting the whole story.” She grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and paused before heading back upstairs. “Don’t treat him differently, he’ll know. He’ll think I told you and then he won’t trust me, I - just - don’t.” She snapped, then ran back upstairs before her parents could object.

When she returned, JJ had his shirt off and was inspecting a blooming bruise on his ribs in the mirror, frowning as he splayed his hand over it. Charlie gasped and shut the door quickly, crossing the room in a few short strides to hand over the ice pack. “It’s not that bad.” He told her quickly, trying to reassure her. “Just a beer bottle, fists are worse.”

“That’s not...that’s not right, J. They’re not broken, are they?” She asked, reaching out. He let her tenderly prod the bruise, oddly disconnected from the pain under her gentle touch. “I think they’re okay.” She told him, demeanor going professional. “Lay down for me?”

He nodded and did so, letting her wrap the ice pack in a towel and press it gently to his side. Charlie sat next to him then wet a cotton ball with the rubbing alcohol and took his hand, glancing over. “It’s gonna sting.”

“I know. Go for it.” He only let out a low hiss when she swiped the cotton ball across all his knuckles, hand squeezing hers reflexively. “You said you only thought about hitting back.” She pointed out, pressing her lips to the back of his hand. He nodded and looked a little sheepish. “Hit the tree out front.”

“Hm.” She replied, looking closer for splinters, then set the rubbing alcohol aside.

“He’s called me a good kid before.”

“Yeah?”

JJ nodded. “A couple times.” He added vaguely, though he remembered each time clear as day. “But I’m not sure he’s ever said he loves me.”

“I love you.” She frowned and adjusted the ice pack for him, keeping it in place. “I’ll tell you that every second of the day if you need it.”

“I know. But it’s different.” He mused, falling silent again. She didn’t push the topic, knowing she’d never quite understand. “Your mom, she…” He started, getting a little choked up.

“What is it, J?” She asked, combing through his hair again.

“A few days ago, she said it. About me.”

She furrowed her brow slightly. “When?”

“When she was about to lecture you.” He smirked a little and she felt herself relaxing just at the small sign of his usual demeanor. “She was talking about us having a kid, and she said as much as I love JJ…” He trailed off. “I don’t remember the rest. But she said it so easily. I’m not even her kid.”

And my heart doesn’t work like that, JJ thought to himself. He stayed guarded, putting his trust in very few people. It was a miracle that he trusted Charlie so much, after only a short amount of time.

“Doesn’t matter. She still loves you. My dad does too, you know? And Jamie.”

His brow furrowed slightly. “You don’t have to lie, Charlie.”

“I’m serious. Everyone shows it in different ways. My mom made sure to ask your favorite recipes before we came home just so you could have something special over Christmas. My dad will text me with articles to share with you, or a song he thought you’d like, only because you two talked about Led Zeppelin once. Jamie practiced surfing with his friends every single weekend before we came back, just so he could impress you.” She paused, running her thumb gently along his jaw. “Family is family, even if it wasn’t yours from the start.”

When he teared up a little, her eyes went wide, slightly panicking. “Don’t cry, J, please.”

“You can’t say things like that and not expect me to have an emotional response, Charlie.” He teased, sitting up and pulling her in for a deep kiss. She smiled against his lips, holding back a little so she didn’t hurt him. “I mean it, JJ. I’m gonna love you for a long time.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” He promised sincerely, before drawing her in for another kiss.

_____

After some time, the two made their way downstairs, hand-in-hand, tempted by the smell of dinner cooking. Her mom clapped her hands together with a grin, eyes only flitting over JJ’s cheek for a moment. “Just in time for dinner, you two! JJ, dear, I heard mac and cheese was your favorite, so I put that together with some cornbread and brie stuffed chicken. Oh! And apple pie for dessert.”

JJ scanned over the table with wide eyes, impressed. “This looks incredible, Mrs. Walker, you didn’t have to do all that.”

“Well, we had to do right by our favorite guest.” She smiled and handed him a plate, urging him forward. “There you go, eat up.”

“What happened to your face?” Jamie questioned, without tact.

“James!” Her mother scolded, sending JJ an apologetic smile. He shook his head, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “S’okay. Fell when I was out surfing with my friends.”

Charlie frowned slightly at how easily he covered the lie. Jamie’s jaw dropped, indignant. “You went without me?”

JJ laughed. “Had to take on the big waves for a second, kiddo. I’ll take you tomorrow, alright?”

“For real?” Jamie brightened, his insolence short-lived. “I’m learning how to cutback, I can show you. And you can help me too, I know you’re good at it.”

“For real.” JJ promised, beaming at Charlie. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling. “Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He dismissed, but was beaming ear-to-ear.

Once they finished dinner and dessert, JJ’s mood was considerably lifted as he realized how truly comfortable he felt around Charlie’s family. “JJ, come help me with the fire?” Her dad asked, pushing away from the table. JJ nodded and followed dutifully. The two built the frame mainly in silence, until JJ shoved a log under the a-frame, arranging the kindling on top.

“Never seen it done that way.” Her dad commented with raised eyebrows, but handed him the matchbox anyways.

“Uh, cuts down on the wood you need to burn. But we can do it your way if you’d like, yours might be better -” JJ started, hurriedly going to rearrange the wood. Her dad caught his arm gently and JJ froze, forcing himself to exhale. “Let’s try it your way, bud, might be better.”

JJ nodded and lit the fire, and her dad whistled in appreciation when it caught quickly, roaring to flame. “I’ll be damned.” Charlie came out, handing both of them a beer, a little hesitant with JJ. He accepted it with a grateful smile, leaning into her when she curled her arm protectively around his waist. “You’re handy with a lot of these things, aren’t you, JJ?” Her dad asked.

“A little. I like working on physical things.”

“I heard you changed the spark plugs on Charlie’s car, I’ve been trying to figure that out for ages. I’m impressed.” He offered an encouraging smile and JJ ran his hand through his hair, grateful it was dark enough to hide his blush. “Yeah, well. Didn’t want something to happen when she was driving, so I took care of it.”

“I appreciate that. You’re good at taking care of her, kid.” Her dad lifted his beer bottle and JJ tapped the neck of the glass against his, grinning once he took a sip. “She’s worth it.”

#jj maybank #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank x oc #college jj #jj x charlie #mine #i should wait to post this but #oh well

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imaginarybird · 7 years

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Unwilling and unable to face everyone on her own when it comes time to attend Auggie and Ava’s wedding, Riley Matthews hires a solution in Lucas Friar. Loosely based on The Wedding Date.

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four

Rating: Around a PG 13/14

Notes: As always, thanks to everyone who has read, reblogged, commented, liked…whatever you’ve done to support the fic. It means the world to me. And just a reminder, I’m more than happy to chat about this or any of my other fics if you pop into my inbox.

In this chapter, Lucas gets his introductions to Topanga. And Maya. And then he and Riley do some sharing.

“It’s lovely to meet you Lucas.” Riley’s mother is the picture of poise as she smiles and shakes his outstretched hand--warm and not at all what he’s expecting after making the rounds in the dining room. “It’s always nice when Riley actually gives us a peek into what her life is like now.”

The barb, presented behind the veneer of courteous small talk lands just as intended; Riley’s grip on his hand tightens and out of the corner of his eye, Lucas sees the edges of her smile draw in.

That’s more like it.

Meeting the rest of the Matthews family, from her grandparents on her dad’s side to her aunts and uncles and their families (most of the Matthews family now live scattered across the country according to Riley, and are using the destination wedding as a vacation and quasi-reunion) has thus far been a mixed bag of awkwardness, passive-aggressive needling towards Riley and suspicion aimed in his direction. They’d just been running out of small talk to go over with the only surrogate uncle invited to the full family experience, Shawn, when Topanga and Maya had returned to the dining room. Maya had gone back to her husband upon entrance but Topanga had zeroed in on and them to greet Riley and receive her introduction. So far, Topanga only checks off the box of passive-aggressiveness, leaving Lucas curious. Of all Riley’s blood relatives in the room, only Auggie and Riley’s Uncle Eric had been genuinely at ease and warm with her (and him), but Topanga would come across as such to anyone not paying close attention.

Is her relationship with Riley not as far gone, Lucas wonders, or is she just better at hiding what’s wrong?

He instinctively leans towards the latter option; when she’s not flustered Riley has a mask that could fool almost anyone. She had to have gotten that skill from someone.

“I’m just glad I was able to get the time off to come out with her.” Lucas says. “Riley has become so important to me over these last few months and I really want to meet everyone who’s important to her.” The comment is a bit cheesy, he knows, but most of the time when he throws it at parents of his clients, they eat it right up, and he figures it makes for a pretty decent litmus test. How Topanga reads the implication could give away a bit more about where she stands with Riley.

“And yet you’re here.” Topanga swoops her head in a single nod. Her smile doesn’t falter, but her voice is just a pitch too bright. “Riley must not talk to you very much about us.”

“No, but she paints a picture.” Lucas drops Riley’s hand in favor of wrapping his arm across her shoulders and bringing her a bit closer. She stretches an arm around his waist in return.

“I’m sure she does.” Topanga’s eyes narrow, ever-so-slightly. Her attention quickly focuses on her daughter. “Riley, you and I will have to have a lunch while you’re here, just the two of us. I feel like there’s a lot we need to catch up on.”

“Sure.” Riley nods, pressing her lips together. Her eyes go just about everywhere except for her mom’s. “I mean, if there’s time.”

Topanga scoffs. “I’m sorry, are you really not going to make time for your mother?”

It’s the first crack in Topanga’s perfectly pleasant facade, Lucas notes. Her eyes flash and her voice gets louder...more strident. Meanwhile, Riley seems to shrink back, even without moving an inch.

“That’s not what I--,”

Topanga cuts Riley off. “We haven’t even been on the same coast of the country in over a year and you barely call twice a month, which I graciously forgive because I know how hard you have to work as a young woman who’s the low man on the totem pole, but now you’re here on vacation and you still can’t carve an hour out of your busy schedule to catch up with me. Are you really that--,”

“I think she just meant that we’re here for Auggie and Ava’s wedding, ma’am.” Lucas steps in before Topanga’s words can get too hurtful, a path they are obviously starting to barrel down. He doesn’t bother trying to tamp down his displeasure or hide it in any way; bonding so quickly with Riley is going to be problematic, particularly when he’s usually so capable of not feeling anything real for his clients) but right now he’s not going to complain that it’s making his job fairly effortless. The protective ire that bubbles up in his chest at Topanga’s practical emotional bullying of Riley is exactly what a caring boyfriend needs. “And as a member of the wedding party, Riley’s schedule has pretty much been planned out down to the second. However, I’m sure if anything changes, you’ll be Riley’s first priority.” Unlikely, but he can’t afford to alienate Topanga entirely.

Topanga’s mouth is opened, poised to deliver what promises to be a diatribe of a rebuttal when a soft, repeated clinking cuts through the chatter of the room.

Ava’s at the head of the dining table, water glass and fork in hand. “Thank you. Everyone is finally here, so if you could all take your seats by the appropriate place cards, we can get the meal underway.

Lucas takes the moment of distraction to gently pull Riley away to the table. A cowardly move? Possibly. It’s obvious that several members of intimidated by her, even afraid of her though aside from her crafty ability to disguise guilt trips and condescension as part of her perfect mom and super woman thing, Lucas has yet to see a compelling reason why. But he also doesn’t want to cause a scene and draw attention, something that could easily happen if he and Riley stay in this conversation, and he’s fairly certain that they won’t be seated anywhere near the elder Matthews’.

Lucas’ second priority is to get Riley’s train of thought away from Topanga; part of having him as her boyfriend for the week should be that she gets to relax and impress her family and former friends--be every ounce of the warm and bubbly personality being stifled beneath her yearning to please the people that by his count, aren’t interested in being please. “I thought this was an informal dinner…” He leans down slightly to comment in Riley’s ear as they walk. “Is she serious about place cards?”

“Ava doesn’t joke about parties she’s involved with.” Riley answers him. As she continues to talk the stiffness slowly bleeds from her posture. “She’s a planner. Very detail-oriented. She has a Pinterest board about how to make the perfect Pinterest Board.”

“So I should double check that my suit and tie won’t clash with the wedding colors?”

“If you don’t want to be barred from entry to the ceremony, I would.”

The meal starts well enough. They’re sitting closest to Riley’s Uncle Eric, a Senator who Lucas recognizes from the news and myriad appearances on late night talk shows (though he never would have made the connection to Riley without the introduction) and his wife, Linda. Riley’s relationship with Eric seems quite normal and even affectionate compared to the rest of her family, it’s easy enough for the foursome to hold a conversation--Riley and Eric giving each other updates on the goings-on in their lives with Lucas and Linda occasionally interjecting-- and block out the rest of the room. By the time salad comes out, Riley appears to have put the encounters with her parents at the back of her mind and is starting to enjoy herself, laughing as Eric recounts a dating mishap he and Linda had back in high school, the first time they had gotten together.

Riley doesn’t even falter when Linda smiles sweetly and comments, “So Riley, Eric didn’t know very much at all when I asked him about you and Lucas and you’re so sweet together… I am dying for details. How did you two meet?”

After all, Lucas thinks, this is a story that they came up with together. They’ve practiced telling it and Riley is comfortable so she answers without pause. “At the hospital. I was at the main desk working on my charts and Lucas had just brought in a coworker of his that had gotten sick during their shift together.”

“And I’m trying to help him fill out his paperwork,” Lucas cuts in, angling his glance towards Riley occasionally as he speaks, “but I keep getting distracted by this beautiful nurse with a stuffed bunny rabbit around her neck.”

“My stethoscope cover.” Riley rolls her eyes. She leans to the side as she giggles, her shoulder bumping his and Lucas is impressed; he hadn’t been sure that she’d be at ease enough--with him or the situation--to forget about the play-acting element of the week let their interactions happen naturally as they would with most couples but she’s surprising him the more the evening goes on by starting to show a bit more of herself. “And you were way more distracted by that...I don’t think you even noticed my face.”

“Oh I noticed you too, but I had never seen one of those before.”

“Because they’re for pediatric patients. Anyway,” Riley continues after their shared look, “I’m working away and he’s ogling my rabbit--,”

“Which is not something I approve of my niece’s suitors doing in public.” Eric interjects.

Riley flushes brightly, but doesn’t stop talking. “We’re both doing our thing and this guy comes up--the boyfriend of a patient I’d been working with earlier--and he’s upset, asking all these questions about his girlfriend that I can’t answer. I’m not allowed to, but that’s not the response he’s looking for. He gets really mad and he grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me. Lucky for me, Lucas was there.”

“I just wanted to get the guy off of her.” Lucas clarifies. “He was a kid, but he was huge, and I didn’t see security anywhere so someone had to do something.”

“Oh my gosh, so you stepped in and saved her?” Linda’s rapt expression melts into a smile. “Oh Riley, no wonder you fell for him.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it was instant or anything...” Riley giggles and nearly stammers. It’s the first part of their story that reads like a bit of a lie, which Lucas finds interesting. It’s almost like she’s defending herself against the claim of falling for him though he can’t imagine why. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with the scenario they’ve concocted it’s not unusual at all for a person to become attracted to someone who does something like intervene is they’re being threatened. Whatever the initial spark of attraction to someone is caused by, it doesn’t make the subsequent relationship less real. Not as long as you build a solid foundation on top of it. “I still had to get to know him.”

“Still…” Linda gushes. “What a way to meet. And you’ve been dating ever since?”

“It was three months last week.” Lucas nods. He lays a hand on top of Riley’s, brushing his thumb across her knuckles and causing her to glance over at him. There’s a brief flash of the same uncertain, deer-in-the-headlights look the gesture had caused on the plane in her eyes, but just as quickly it retreats, making way for her small, bashful smile to return.

Her really adorable, bashful smile.

The really adorable, bashful smile he finds himself returning and wanting to see more of.

Lucas has to tear his gaze away when Eric starts to speak.

“Three months in, a week-long trip to meet the family...sounds pretty serious.” Eric peers pointedly over the glass he has raised near his mouth. “Riley never introduces us to her boyfriends so for her to bring you here to face the entire firing squad...she must think you’re something special. Maybe the next wedding we get together for will be for you two.”

“Eric!” Linda and Riley admonish him in unison, while across and a little farther down the table, a blonde groans and rolls her eyes.

“Oh please.”

Eric loses some of his convivial nature at the muttered comment and lifts his chin at the woman. “Something you want to add to the conversation, Maya?” The edge in his voice is unmistakable; Eric is not his sister-in-law’s biggest fan, and Lucas wonders why.

Across the evening he’s gotten the feeling that Maya plays a role in the story of Riley’s estrangement from most of her family--she just hasn’t featured in the snippets that Riley has given him. But the mention of her is enough to cause an increase in tension, and despite the fact that she’s Riley’s age and her aunt by marriage, there had been no attempt to greet her thus far; if anything Maya had seemed to deliberately avoid being near Riley until they had taken their somewhat adjacent seats at the table.

The blonde seems to get along with everyone else and fit in well with the rest Matthews’ family, so there has to be something causing the unease and disquiet. Unless it’s just the fact that Riley doesn’t get seem to fit in well with them, but that seems unlikely. They’re all adults after all.

“I just think it’s hilarious that you think Riley and this...Norman Rockwell rip-off are gonna get anywhere near marriage.” Maya says, stabbing at a cherry tomato in her salad with her fork. “We all know Riley doesn’t do the relationship thing anymore. And even when she did it was not with guys like him.” She pops the tomato in her mouth, and talks around it. “It’ll be a miracle if they make it to six months, let alone to an engagement or a wedding.”

Josh, who Lucas has only interacted with enough to form the opinion that he hero worships Cory and worships his wife, leans over to quietly chastise her at the same time that Riley shrinks back in her chair.

“Guys like me?” Lucas asks. He’s careful to leave his tone friendly enough and a smile on his face but he nearly squares his jaw just the same; he can’t see how Maya’s comment is meant to be anything but a jab at Riley, even if she wasn’t directing it towards her. He has to reach for her hand again when Riley tries to pull away.

The table starts to hush as the conversation continues, everyone else catching on that something more interesting than general family catch-up is happening.

“You’re crazy hot.” Maya blinks, like she can’t figure out what he doesn’t get. “Like, stupid hot.”

“So?”

“Riley has a type and you’re not it.” Maya shrugs. “She’s never dated anyone like you.”

“That’s funny,” Auggie comments from a few more seats down the table, levelling a sharp stare at Maya, “I don’t remember you having any complaints about who she chose to date when you were in high school.”

That’s it, Lucas realizes. That’s where the story is. He should have known. It always goes back to high school

He knows that the secret to the story lies in Auggie’s words because Cory and Topanga both immediately start demanding that he apologize to Maya, and most everyone else seems to be caught up between joining in on the fight that brews when Auggie refuses and making sure that Maya’s OK. Meanwhile after a few moments of this building voluminous explosion where her name gets thrown around more than once, Riley, face burning bright pink and eyes shining with tears pushes away from the table and rushes out of the dining room.

Lucas is the only one to notice.

He doesn’t understand the situation--doesn’t understand what a girl like Riley who seems to be so soft and caring and full of exuberance could have done to have such a polarizing effect on her family--and the more he watches the Matthews, the less sure he is that he needs to; it’s not his job to fix them anyway and Riley never asked him to. She asked him to be her companion for the week and make everyone think that they’re a couple.

With all of that in mind, no horse in the game, and starting to give in to his distaste for the Matthews and the way they treat Riley, Lucas stands and walks out of the room without a word.

After a detour through the kitchen where he snags something they can eat (as the meal hadn’t really been underway when they had left) Lucas finds Riley sitting out on their room’s balcony, staring out at the beach with her knees pulled to her chest. He observes the situation for a brief moment (she’s not crying as he was sort of expecting), and raps his knuckles twice on the doorframe.

“You want to talk about it?”

Riley doesn’t turn to look at him when she answers. “No.” The one syllable tells Lucas everything he needs to know. It’s dull and wet; she’s swallowing it all down, something she’s obviously used to doing. For every snide comment, dirty look, or outright attack she had faced from her family, not once had she been the one to fight back, not in any meaningful way. She made a few token attempts to defend her current life, but otherwise took everything they had to throw at her in shrinking subservience.

When did she learn that? Lucas wonders, though he shakes his head as soon as the thought emerges. If the family’s conflict isn’t his problem than neither is the history of Riley’s behavior. Diving too deep into that rabbit hole is just another way of getting too close and becoming attached, and there’s no room for that in a business arrangement like theirs.

“Do you want to be alone?”

“Not really.”

Again, not what he expects. But Lucas complies, and steps out onto the balcony, taking a seat next to Riley on the small bench seat. After a brief moment of sitting in the thick silence, contemplating his next move since she doesn’t want to talk about what just happened, Lucas presents his (slightly stolen) plate of food. “Do you want cake?”

This at least gets her to turn and look at him.

Riley’s eyes go from his, to the plate he’s holding with a genuinely massive slice of cake and two forks on it, back to his eyes. “Why do you have cake?” The corners of her mouth twitch up, though the expression doesn’t grow further.

“I wanted to make sure you got something to eat.” Lucas replies, grabbing one of the forks and holding it out for her to take. “But the most portable options were either the basket of dinner rolls or...cake. And I thought given the choice…”

“Yeah, cake is good.” Riley nods, taking the fork.

Lucas watches as she cuts into the cake with gusto, taking one large mouthful of red velvet, and then a second. After a moment, he joins her using the second fork, and although the dessert is a bit sweet on his largely empty stomach, it’s moist and rich and exactly the sort of thing he likes to eat when he’s treating himself. Judging by Riley’s reaction, she feels the same way and they eat in the relative silence of the crashing waves for a couple of minutes before Lucas decides that they’re settled enough and comfortable enough that he won’t be overstepping to speak.

“I grew up in Texas,” he begins, feeling more than a little awkward. This isn’t a conversation he normally has with his clients; it’s not a conversation he normally has with anyone although his business partner knows most of it. “In this little tucked away pocket of a town near Austin where everything just felt so backwards and stuck in time compared to the city. A small town like that… everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everyone’s business… Appearance and what people see you do is everything. And my family owns the biggest ranch in the town so we’re kind of at the center of that microscope.”

“Sounds like a nightmare.”

“It...wasn’t great.” Lucas confirms. “I had a family legacy to live up to and as much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t do it. And the whole town knew.”

“Is that why you left?”

“One of many reasons.” He waits a moment to see if she’ll say anything else and when she doesn’t, he continues with his story. “When I was five, my dad entered me into my first mutton busting tournament.”

“Mutton busting…?” Riley quirks an eyebrow.

“It’s like a rodeo except instead of adults it’s little kids, and instead of riding bulls you ride sheep.”

Riley smiles as the explanation sinks in. “So...the most adorable miniature version of a sport ever.”

“You don’t really see it as adorable when you’re trying to be the very best and uphold the family name.” Lucas says. “Then it’s just…”

“Impossible to focus on anything other than the anvil of pressure that your family is laying across your shoulders?” Riley fills in, lowering her fork back down to the plate.

Lucas doesn’t respond to Riley’s explanation directly, although he’s not surprised that she has such an innate understanding of the situation even without many details; it’s becoming increasingly evident to him that although their actual experiences have been different, their situations are actually quite similar. “If a Friar was entered in the tournament, they always made the strongest showing. My dad, my uncle, Pappy Joe, his dad… mutton busting is a rite of passage in the town and the first step to upholding the Friar family legacy. And I wanted to do it. I thought I was ready. I trained hard as a five-year-old could, watched videos of other tournaments… I was ready to be the best damn mutton-buster they’d ever seen. Then the tournament came and I drew Judy the Sheep as my ride.

“And I know what you’re thinking,” he continues. “With a name like Judy, she had to be an easy one, right? Just a cute little innocent fluffball.”

“I’m guessing not.”

“Judy,” the name still nearly sends a shiver down his spine, “was an unhinged and violent sheep disguised as an innocent fluffball, who bucked me off within two seconds.”

Riley’s hand is on his before the explanation is even complete. “That must have been awful…”

“Just like that I was the laughing stock of the town.” Lucas confirms. “A failure. And Friars can’t be failures. After that it didn’t matter what I did… all anyone ever saw was the kid who fell off Judy.”

“I think disappointing people unlocks their memory banks.” Riley sighs. She takes her hand back and starts playing with the hem of her skirt. “You do something that doesn’t meet their standards and it’s like they’ve got an infinite loop of every mistake you’ve ever made playing in their brains.”

Lucas still can’t wrap his head around what Riley could have done to disappoint anyone. She’s a successful nurse, so it can’t be that they disapprove of her career, and personality-wise… she’s got a family that uses every opportunity to remind her that she doesn’t fit in and that they don’t think she’s trying hard enough and she doesn’t ever seem to fight back or get mad or really try to defend herself. She just keeps playing nice. If that’s their idea of a personality flaw…

Lucas considers himself to be very good at reading people and an excellent judge of character but this not something he can figure out how to understand without a lot more help.

He leans forward and rests the remaining cake on the small table in front of them. “I spent years trying to make them see past all that. Swallowed every piece of myself that they didn’t like to try and fit in... turned into the worst possible version of myself and it still didn’t change a thing.”

“And that’s why you left.” Riley fills in.

“Same reason you did, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah.” She shifts in her seat, looking askance. “Only I get the feeling you don’t go back anymore. And that you think I’m pretty stupid because I do.”

Lucas half-nods, half-shakes his head. “No, I don’t. On both counts.” He tacks on, nudging her shoulder with his. “We’re two different people, Riley. Leading two different lives. My solution isn’t necessarily yours.”

“I just… don’t know how to stop caring about them. They’re my family.”

“That’s the thing. I never stopped caring about them. I just started caring about myself more.”

They sit and talk for several more hours until long after the sun drops down below the horizon. Riley doesn’t share the history of what happened with her parents, but she tells him how a summer internship with her Uncle Eric while he was working on healthcare reform led to her choosing to study nursing. They finish the cake and talk about movies and music and when a slip of the tongue reveals his secret love for Cuddle Bunnies, they spend a good chunk of time talking about their favorite characters and which episodes they go back to watch when they’re having a bad day.

It’s the most open and relaxed he’s ever been with a client and Lucas isn’t sure how to feel about that. He’s always kept boundaries in place for a reason --things just get messy when you get too involved and at the end of the day this is his business. His livelihood. But it’s just so easy to blur the lines with Riley and forget that at the end of the day, she’s just another customer.

They talk right up until they’re both yawning so much that they aren’t even getting full sentences out, and at that point he urges Riley inside to get ready for bed.

Bed. Which they still haven’t discussed and definitely don’t have a plan for.

Given the day they’ve had and Riley’s obvious lack of comfort earlier, Lucas thinks the smart thing to do and the only real options is to go with his original default plan. When he sees Riley go into the bathroom with a bundle of clothes and close the door behind her, he ducks back into the room and grabs a pillow from the bed. From there, Lucas sets to work turning the small sofa into something more comfortable for sleeping.

He does that, changes into some sweatpants (and after a small amount of mental debate leaves his undershirt on though he would usually sleep without it) and is just about to consider settling in when Riley comes out of the bathroom.

She’s got light purple short set pajamas on and her hair in a side-swept braid across her shoulder and Lucas feels his mouth go dry. Then she looks at what he’s doing and crinkles her nose in a confused frown and he nearly falls back onto the seat.

He is in so much trouble.

“Why does it look like you’re planning on sleeping on the sofa?” She asks.

She’s just a client. Part of a business transaction, nothing more. Don’t go falling for something you can’t have, Lucas. It’ll only be you that gets hurt.

After giving himself the mental pep talk, Lucas coughs once into his hand and answers, feeling slightly re-secured in the nature of their relationship. “I thought you might be more comfortable if you had the bed to yourself.”

“Oh.” The syllable falls from her mouth and she glances at the floor. “Won’t you be uncomfortable? It’s just that...you’re so tall and that couch is pretty short, and I wouldn’t feel right about that. If we’re gonna do this, I should be the one on the couch.”

There are many different parts of him that won’t stand for that. “What? No. Riley, that’s ridiculous. This is your trip, your family, you’re the one who needs to get the best night’s sleep possible and you’re the one in charge, so you need to take the bed.”

“If I’m the one in charge, then I can insist that you take the bed.” Riley argues. “I’m already making you put up with my family for a week, I’m not gonna make you put up with back pain from a poor sleeping surface on top of that.”

“You’re not making me do anything, you’re paying me.” Lucas counters. He nearly frowns when he sees something flash in Riley’s eyes but continues his piece of the debate. “And I’ve told you before, that as long as it’s not illegal I’ll do pretty much anything for a client.”

Riley squares her shoulders and crosses her arms over her chest. “Then what if I said I wanted to share the bed with you?”

“Then we’d share the bed, but I don’t think that’s something that’s really--,”

“I want to share the bed.” Riley nearly stammers when she makes the assertion but she makes it all the same.

“Riley…”

“I want to share the bed.” She repeats, a little firmer this time. “We’re both adults. I’ve shared a bed before and I’m sure you have too. You said nothing would ever happen without my permission and I trust you. There’s no reason we both can’t be comfortable tonight.”

He sighs, mentally adding ‘stubborn’ to the list of traits he can confirm about her. “I can agree with all of that, but I just don’t agree that you’ll be comfortable. You’re still adjusting to holding my hand.”

“And if everyone’s really going to believe that we’re together then I have to be more comfortable with touching you. All of you.” She blushes and turns away in a rush to continue talking, pulling back the sheets. “Consider sharing a bed immersion therapy. It’ll be fine.”

Lucas kind of doubts that, but there’s only so many ways he can make the argument. Riley doesn’t appear ready to back down, and they need to get some sleep to face the day tomorrow; in many ways, it could end up worse than today was, given how the dinner had ended. If she’s gonna insist on sharing the bed, he figures he either has to do it, or go for a walk, come back when she’s asleep and take the couch anyways. And quite frankly, he’s tired enough that he doesn’t want to go for a walk. “All right. We’ll share the bed.”

As they both get into the bed, Riley’s bravado fades a little bit and they share several glances where her nerves are more evident, and Lucas thinks about offering the couch one last time but she doesn’t say anything and before he can, she turns the light out.

Comfortable where he is (he really has been able to sleep pretty much anywhere) Lucas closes his eyes, but he doesn’t get anywhere near falling asleep. For the next several minutes Riley is finding a position staying there for a little bit and then shifting, and it’s all too much movement within their shared space for him to relax and fall asleep.

Finally, she lies flat on her back and sighs. “Lucas?” She whispers.

Figuring this is the moment where she gives up and asks him to move, Lucas starts to sit up. “Yeah?”

“I was...it was nice out on the deck when we were talking. Could you…?”

Oh. Lucas lowers himself back down onto the bed, and takes a moment to think. “You know how I told your dad I’m putting myself through vet school? That was true. I’m gonna be a veterinarian someday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. One day when I was in the sixth grade I was home alone after school and I went to the barn to hang out with the horses, and one of my favorites, Sofia, she started foaling…”

#rucas #rucas fanfic #riley matthews #lucas friar #gmw #fanfiction #au #fic: Cold Cape Cod Clams

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