#I have to decide fully what I’m doing~

[pannypunkpanda]

Hallo— I know I disappeared for like a year but I’m alive, wooooooooooo

#Panny babble #I’m back baby~ #sorry for disappearing I lit went #I can’t handle trying to draw or anything else right now #sooooooooo……. #but! I dunno if anyone will care but brain has gotten into a new hyper focus #which because I’ve been struggling it means I might need another challenge #I guess look for that pretty soon? #I have to decide fully what I’m doing~ #I have to see if I have access to the episodes to do what I have in mind

[alyona11]

The duality of man is when you love Hadestown so much that you hate Hadestown

#me being me #idk something something show getting generic #like it’s still a good show but a good show and 4/5 and 8/10 rating for a show such as hadestown is shameful #I do think that hadestown should hit like a life changing event that made me fall in love with it #not like some generic Broadway/WE show that you see and vaguely remember liking a year after #and like it’s kinda sad to understand that it doesn’t quite hit like this now #either because of acting choices of some folks (which tbh not fully their fault and I wrote a post about it) #either because Anaïs decides to make a lyric change which is like the most obvious downgrade #that it makes me think ‘oh the show thinks I’m stupid’ #instead of idk making the one change people have been complaining for years #like even fuck it just idk leave what works working #idk I feel like seeing WE made me thinking about it more #and I did enjoy the show a lot and I had fun #but also I keep thinking how some small bits didn’t fit and the show didn’t hit as it should #which makes me feel of people who will experience ht for the first time and might not understand the show’s full impact like I did #idk just thoughts

[seagull-scribbles]

ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ɢᴏ ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ,

ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʙᴏɴᴇꜱ

#tmnt 2007 #casey jones #raphael hamato #rasey #thank you to everyone who voted the lyrics for the caption #I love doing little things like that it makes posting feel more like a community #also using this to try out an art signature for the first time…it’s took just over 3 years but #the turts day posts are doing very well and someone mentioned making a video so it seemed time to sign stuff #I watched 2007 last week and I bought the dvd from my friend #I really love this movie and it’s concepts and idk if it’s because they’re 20+ and I’m in my teweties #or because the Rasey content in this movie is the best canon rasey rep we have BUT I had to draw them #April definitely knows what’s up with these two but she’s not going to tell anyone #and I love what they have lmao #this was a play with lighting exorcise and I found some great music to listen to while I did it and i I #I just wish I had the energy and time to draw more of these guys fully rendered #this is meant to be when they first meet up for the night #you can decide who’s saying what and weather ralhs lifting the mask up or about to pull it down #oh oh also shout out to Helen who is a lovely catholic lady who saw me do this in public and was very supportive and understanding #also listen I know this is like the other 2007 one I did back in March but idc #there just isn’t enough of these guys I want them to f*ck on roof tops and fire escapes #and ride motorcycles obnoxiously out in public and beat people up in the most sadistic way possible #I want them to drink on Aprils couch together #I want them to offload their mental health issues to eachother in supportive healthy ways #I want them to do it in unhealthy ways where Casey shouts at ralh for making him think he was bedridden for 2 years #I want the #to talk about boring adult things and rediscover silly things they did as teens #idk i hate how aprils main role in the film is trying tk change whk casey is thats not a healthy relationship dont romanticise it

[brutal-out-here]

So from what I’m understanding today there’s been yet another instance where Taylor/her team has said she was straight/not part of the community and that speculating these things is bad/she doesn’t like it and yet there’s still tons of people who choose to believe making blogs dedicated to decoding every second of her life to make connections to whatever sexuality they want her to have is a good thing?

#raineyrambles #I will forever be confused by this #why dedicate so much time deciding her life by finding where she sending signals that she isn’t straight #and saying she isn’t comfortable to come out when what you’re doing is considered outing? #genuine question here #as someone who was technically outed I have a very strong stance against this which is why I find things like this harmful #but also I truly doubt Taylor and whoever some say she’s secretly with purposely wear a certain color #of shirt in the same week means that they’re sending signals that they’re together #I don’t see why anyone would put that much effort in their every movement to connect with whoever they’re supposed to be with #like I fully support connecting her lyrics to someone’s sapphic experiences #music is supposed to be where you can make connections to your own life #but just because you connect them to one thing doesn’t mean she connects them to the same thing #there’s many songs I interpret to my life differently than what the artist has said they originally wrote it about #anyway I’m not talking here to fight- just sharing my thoughts #I’ll get off my soapbox for those who’ve made it this far #taylor swift

[shywhumpauthor]

Hi, Coal! This is anonymous from the Whumpuary question

There's no need to respond to this, lol-

I really just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to respond to my previous question :))

(I enjoyed reading the dragged out version of your response, lol- better for my brain to process and take in for sum reason)

I'm good with whatever decision you make. I was honestly just curious because I do enjoy your stories and writing style, so there's that-

(#love Noah)

And, I get where you're coming from with writing series and all, so like- yeah

Regardless of your decision, as long as you don't stress yourself out about it, I'll be fine with whatever

So, uh, yeah- thanks for responding and– take care :)

I am so bad with responses but I wanted to say something just to lyk that I appreciate that you read the long response and then also took the time to reply. That sounds so stiff and insincere written out like this, but I promise it’s not lmao

You as well! Happy new year!

(#love hurting noah)

#that should be Noah’s new tag #no more ‘tag for Noah’ bs #love hurting noah #I want so much more in Noah’s series and I know how to get it there but #there’s things that I want to write but I can’t because I would need to write something else first #like there’s a few new characters that have been in my head for a while but y’all don’t know them #so I can’t just throw them into the drabbles that I want them to be in #and I don’t want to write the piece where they’re introduced bc I haven’t fully decided how whumpy of a context it will be #urghhhh I can talk about Noah and his story for hours #so please if you read this (not just you anon- anyone) and you have anything you want to ask or request or anything regarding surveillance #PLEASE #I would love any interaction about him #ideas for scenes or characters or anything #I know what I want to do with the series (prolly never going to finish it lmao) but I want to see what others think #if you’ve read this much so far then thank you. I’m gonna spoil some shit now bc I want to talk about it lmao #if you’ve read this far I’m gonna assume you don’t mind hearing about it #we’re going to get to see a demonstration soon #like actually see in all it’s brutality #not just Noah thinking back on one #and my boy haha he’s going to get *traumatized* #more than he already is #yk someone needs to clean up all of that blood and gore afterwards #someone needs to bring the spectators drinks and those fancy little snacks they serve during cocktail hour #someone needs to be shown off by declan as a trophy of his power like “look haha i broke this spy and now he works for me” #someone needs to wear a shock collar ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #lmao not all of Noah’s Christmas presents are gonna be good #I mean he has to be kept in line somehow when he’s with other people #dw though he’s not the only one

[butterfliesornauseous]

So I realised I hit way over 500 followers and just wanted to say a quick thanks for all the support over the last two years! Especially since I have a tendency to take unexplained breaks, so it really means that a lot of you have stuck around.

I wanted to say this means a lot to me since you guys have helped me truly feel much better for being into what I am into and making me feel more inspired to continue. I’m so thankful that I have a bit of a platform where I can share my silly little ideas and feel welcomed and even hear back from you guys about your own ideas all because of you guys.

I want to do a little 500 special but haven’t fully settled in something yet but I have 2 weeks off from it being a break at my work so I’ll try to work on something 😁

Thank you all again for the support ~ Kai ❤️

#thank you I didn’t expect to actually get this far 🥺 #like that’s a lot of people that actually choose to follow me and enjoy my content #thank you guys again 😭 #anyway I have some ideas for a 500 special but I haven’t fully decided be they don’t feel big enough #like I was like maybe I should do a ask game or another this or that since my first this or that was what started gaining me a large #following and actually stopped me for quiting but i also did it before #I’ve seen people do q&as but I feel like I’m not something people would really want to know the person behind the account #or like I could post all my drafts since I treat my drafts like a shit post place and I can embarrass myself #but again thank you guys ❤️ #i probably am being dramatic since to a lot of people 500 is not considered much but to me it’s alot

[gregmarriage]

genuinely, being manic has completely fucked my brain up, even as i’m mostly recovered. feelings, i’m doubting, not even stuff i knew was probably fake, like actual feelings i thought very much to be true.

#loving someone but you can’t be sure if that love is genuine anymore #seriously doubting if any of it was real #i need confirmation and i know there’s a way to get it but i’m scared #of what i don’t fully know #of it not actually being real? #of having been delusional and thinking it was? #i don’t even know what to think anymore #idk i’m gonna get my head out of my ass at some point #but i’m also thinking about things in my life #and about whether this isn’t something that should be in my life #if it’s better to just move on? #but i also need closure but to get closure i have to do what i keep procrastinating doing bc i’m scared #do you see my problem? #idk i’ll sort it out #just going over everything in my life is causing me to reexamine *everything* #it’s like marie kondo but for people and habits #it sucks basically #but also is needed for my own mental wellbeing #so i need to decide what to do about this problem and actually strive to solve it because it’s not gonna get solved by itself unfortunately #i would just like to be relieved of this situation please and thank you

[navree]

i hate being the driver who complains about pedestrians and bikers so i try very hard not to be but some of the pedestrians and bikers i’ve been dealing with recently…….they’re testing me

#personal #listen i don’t do road rage ever and in general i always abide by the rule that pedestrians have right of way #cuz when it comes to people out and about vs people in the giant metal machine the latter has gotta be more responsible #but like did none of you ever go to kindergarten or smth #what is with this epidemic of people who just straight up don’t look before crossing the street #seriously there was a guy biking who decided to cross while i was actively turning #like he wasn’t there when i started turning and i had double checked cuz it was a right turn without an arrow #and then he just zoomed on through while i was midway into it fully driving #had to stomp HARD on my breaks which i hate #also in general road etiquette is dead but i’m used to that #i live in seattle and everyone there is a profoundly shitty driver except when it rains

[hellfireeddiemunson]

finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭

#i worked yesterday 8-2 and then was with friends and slept at their house and i got maybe ???? 3 hours of sleep lastnight bc of that and #THEN i had to work 8-2 AGAIN today and i got home and got picked back up by the same friends to do something and now i’m finally home and #stuff but i just don’t know what my best option is (i know i should sleep actually and get as much sleep as possible but shhhh) #i guess. i will sleep tho actually bc i can’t even concentrate on the video i was trying to watch. 20 minutes in and i have NO idea what #is happening so yeah i’ll take that as a cue to sleep #thanks for helping me decide what to do guys’ #!* not ‘ #ugh i don’t wanna work tomorrow i have an 8 hour shift and i don’t wanna do it 😭😭😭 #saturdays are the worst bc i have to be alone all day and it drives me insane when i get a million customers that are regulars who know only #one person works at a time on saturdays like use common sense and also get fucked for being annoying i hate you all!!!!!! GRRRRR BITE BITE #ok no fr i’m going to sleeep now ok #OH WAIT ONE TINY THING I WAS DOING A TRIVIA GAME EITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT AND THERE WAS A D&D QUESTION THAT I GOT FULLY CORRECT BC IVE BEEN #WATCHING LEGENDS OF AVANTRIS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT LOL MY FRIENDS ALL DIDNT KNOW AND I WAS LIKE >:)))) BACK AWAY

[latinokaeya-moving]

jesus fuck ok so i had been falling asleep without realising n i Know some freaky ass scary dream kept on waking me up every like 15 minutes but i kept on forgetting within seconds what it was even abt like all i remembered was the jittery nervousness as i startled back into vague consciousness everytime. ???

#x #n now that i was like oh my god what’s going on n decided to stay more fully awake for a couple minutes i feel smth of a headache coming #???????? #ok i feel like i’m going crazy but when i woke up i immediately checked my phone n since it was playing music i realised it was acting up n #i was like ? um. #like it was skipping my songs over and over it would play to #two seconds* then forward 10 secs again n again n i stared at my screen bc i was like what. n it just kept on doing that #anyways i was like oh god i cannot have my phone malfunctioning this is terrible but also bc of the dreams it made me crazy uneasy n #paranoid so i switched to like. a youtube video. to see if it would do the same there. and it didn’t #and then just now i tried again to play the music to see n suddenly it’s not skipping anymore n i don’t know. why #did i fucking dream that. why??? how weird

[fingertipsmp3]

Hi yes for the love of god hello. Why the fuck can I hear bees or wasps or some other sort of buzzing insect, either in my walls or in my neighbour’s living room, in January

#i don’t Think i’m hallucinating because i don’t really do that when i’m fully awake and not sick #so i suppose that’s something at least #but like.. what is it??? #i thought maybe it could be an electrical hum at first but it’s too irregular for that. like sometimes it gets louder and sometimes quieter #and i can definitely hear those occasional short ‘zzt!’ sounds that insects make when they’re surprised or angry #and i can hear them landing on/hitting something. i think. it’s just the quietest little bonk but also sort of unmistakeable #thing is i very much don’t think i could mistake anything else for insect sounds. i’m very well acquainted with insect sounds #first of all because i am absolutely fucking terrified of all flying insects #second because we had a tree bumblebee nest in the downstairs roof last summer #yes these two things Did combine to give me a very anxious four months. how did you know #my issue is that i just don’t know how bugs would be in the wall. it’s a brick wall. this is a semidetached 70s house #we don’t have a crawlspace and nothing here is built from plywood. if they were in the downstairs roof again i’d be hearing it #in the kitchen. but it’s exclusively the living room wall #maybe my neighbour has decided to keep bees?? that doesn’t seem like something he’d do since he doesn’t like any animals or people #he’s kind of warmed to mabel but you can’t not like mabel. she just looks at everyone like 🥺 and she’s so little and goofy #it’ll just have to remain a mystery until such time as the wall caves in and bees emerge i guess #personal

[willowfey]

ignore this i just wanna ramble in the tags for a sec i’ll probably delete it in a bit 🤪

#did an escape room with the fam on my sister’s birthday two days ago and my brother made me feel stupid the entire time #wouldn’t listen to me wouldn’t share or let me help and then act like i wasn’t helping (??? let me then) #and because he’s Loud my whole family was following his lead and ignoring me #but in the end i was the reason we won bc i was the only one who immediately understood the word riddles AND the one who wrote down #all the numbers he said we wouldn’t need. i was the only one who could connect the past information with the current problem #the only one who listened fully to the cd and decided to write down the locations without it being relevant yet #the only one who thought the tiny details might be relevant and the only one who automatically fixed his mistakes bc i noticed a pattern #and in the end still got no credit for anything (except from my mom) even tho if they had listened to me from the beginning they would’ve #been less stressed and finished sooner #then at the restaurant he didn’t listen to me again and we ordered too much even tho i told him we wouldn’t need it #THEN after dinner my grandma started texting me all frustrated telling me i need to keep my aunt updated on what’s happening thru the day #so she doesn’t feel left out. bc she’s having a rough time lately. bc it’s my job to make everyone feel better #FIRST of all this woman ignored me for years when her ex husband decided i wasn’t worth it #and now suddenly it’s my job to keep u informed on my every move so u don’t feel left out?? text me urself. ask what i’m doing. #ask HOW i’m doing??? do u even care beyond a ‘what colour is your sturdiness today namaste’ #every time my aunt complains about the tiniest thing and starts crying about it it my grandma blames everyone else #no one even knows or cares if i’m having a rough time #she came to ‘help’ when my mom was sick and i did everything for her instead. and then she threw a fit when i wouldn’t eat her salad #when i was too exhausted from staying up all night with my mother to go on a run with her the next day #my mom finally got mad at her for implying i’m lazy all the time and told her i’m ‘neurodiverse’ and do things my own way and she didn’t #even know what that meant so my mom was like ‘on the spectrum ‘ and my aunt just got mad that she had never told her #would it have made a difference at all? would u have expected different from me? #meanwhile i’ve done so much for my cousin… including taking care of luca the entire time she stayed with us. i had him all the time #i didn’t mind. i love that kid more than anything. but everyone expects everything from me like it’s just a given #i talked her through every problem every breakdown walked on eggshells to keep her happy and then what does she do when she leaves? #ignores me. doesn’t come back when she said she would. complains that i don’t include her in things #bc sometimes i have quiet conversations with my sister so i don’t bother everyone #and then gg wants to know why i won’t come see her? why i won’t drop everything to fly there? my aunt wants to know why i don’t call? #because despite loving me u have made me feel inadequate my whole life. some of u more than others #and i’m tired. and it’s time for me to Be me For me without justifying it to everyone else.

[ginalinettiofficial]

in case anyone was wondering it’s nearly five am and i’ve spent all night reading fucking icarly fanfic as if it’s not 2023 so like that’s where IM at today

#d speaks #did i know how much i cared about these characters before i impulsively decided to rewatch a show i haven’t seen since age 14??? NO I DIDNT #i haven’t watched icarly since the fucking eighth grade at BEST and that was fully 13 years ago #i figured i’d put it on for some background noise and nostalgia when it came up on netflix #HERE I AM A DAY LATER HAVING FUCKING FEELINGS ???????? ABOUT IT ????????? #getting sad about a finale i NEVER EVEN WATCHED……… #debating if i should go and fucking. watch the FIVE MORE SEASONS OF THIS SHOW #plus that ENTIRE OTHET SHOW W ARIANA GRANDE I NEVER ONCE SAW BECAUSE I WAS TOO OLD FOR NICKELODEON WHEN SAM AND CAT CAME OUT #and then to find out icarly has been rebooted?!?!??? and IS CURREBFKY PUTTING OUT EPISODES OF THEUR REVIVAL??????? #what am i meant to do here. watch icarly AND victorious AND sam and cat AND ICARLY 2021!?!?!???!??!?? #for WHAT daina?????? a fandom with 700 fics on ao3?????????????? #WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF ????????????????????????????? #i’m so out of my mind right now what the fuck has today BEEN #icarly #guess i shoudl fuckin tag that in case this is my new hyperfixation!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!! #this is awful i hate myself so much. why do i CARE if these characters get together they’re 13 and i was 10 years old last time i cared!!!! #i don’t even know who is endgame because i ‘outgrew’ these shows when fucking glee and jersey shore dropped!!!!!! #i didn’t watch the later seasons of icarly or most of victorious because i was too busy watching fucking teen wolf and drooling over 1d!!!! #watching fucking. game of thrones and shit!!!!!! i was Too Old For That Shit and now here i am. one month from being 27 #getting all emotionally invested in this DUMB SHOW FROM MY CHILDHOOD #like what’s next daina?????? gonna watch hannah montana and go looking for some jake ryan miley stewart fanfics????????????? #watch some fucking wizards of waverly place and get really worked up about how selena and demi had a friendship breakup??????????? #text my friends who were into this show with me when it was airing and see if they wanna listen to me analyze this shit?????? #whilst their CHILDREN NAP IN YHE OTHER ROOM AND THEN WHEN IM DONE RANTING I CAN GIVE THEM ADVICE ON THEIR MARITAL PROBLEMS???!??!??!?!?!?!? #this is insane i’ve lost my fucking mind. i’m not fucking doing this mark my words i am NOT doing this #this is a one off i will consume the best fics of this fandom and then i will put it down and step away and be DONE i CANNOT do more #mr incredible voice i’m not…… strong enough……. #fuck i should watch the incredibles maybe THAT will fix me

[sluttyten]

.

#my parents just got home from my grandparents so obviously we’re not driving to visit my brother tonight because it’s almost 10pm and he #lives like 6-8 hours away but I asked if we’re going tomorrow or not at all and her answer was ‘we’re not going’ #then she was like ‘are you sad?’ and I’m like no #because I’m not sad I’m annoyed #annoyed that I canceled my plans for this weekend trip that they came up with just a couple days ago just for me to have to cancel my #piercing plan (which they don’t know about to be fair) but also canceled on my best friend because I thought I wouldn’t be here and then I #told her no I wouldn’t come over tonight either bc I thought maybe we might leave early in the morning tomorrow #but we’re not doing that either and I could have gone to target like I wanted to also but I didn’t want to leave and go anywhere bc I didn’t #know how long my parents were going to be or what the general plan was until it was too late and dark for me to want to go anywhere #anyway I’m just annoyed like what was even the fucking point? I hurried home from work threw all my stuff together fully packed and got my #pillow and my blanket my chargers and everything #I even unplugged all the electronics in my room bc I don’t leave stuff plugged in when I know I’m gonna be away for a few days #just for us to not go at all #if either of my parents had packed before today then we would’ve already been on the road by the time my aunt called #would we have just turned around then or what? #also ugh it’s like my parents knew I had plans they wouldn’t approve of bc it was almost right after I made the plans for the piercing with #my friend from work that they threw these plans at me and then once I’d told him I couldn’t do today but maybe next weekend they suddenly #wanted to switch our trip to next weekend but decided to keep it this weekend when I was like uh no #and now that my plans are to go next Friday to get pierced like neither of my parents really shared any plans or even packed anything until #today almost like they just didn’t really plan to go which I know sounds dumb and paranoid to say but we didn’t even have a hotel #reservation like we normally would like these plans just seemed very tentative this weekend and it’s just so annoying to me #I wasted my entire afternoon basically thinking maybe we would get to go and thinking maybe tomorrow and ugh #I’m just in a mood I’m sorry #I need to translate this annoyance into writing chp 10 before I fall asleep #also my best friend is updating me on her house sitting alone and she’s freaking out bc she’s not used to sleeping alone in a house by #herself and the power just went out on her and if my parents would’ve made our lack of plans more clear I could’ve at least been there with #her so she wasn’t so freaked out or at least so we’d be freaked out together #but tbh girl just lock yourself in a bedroom that’s what I always do when I have to sleep in my house alone. and put my car keys right #beside my head so if anything crazy did happen I could at least like set my car alarm off to alert the neighbors

[arthur-r]

my heart rate at work right now confirming my greatest fear that i will actually never be able to safely bind!! literally there will be no relief until top surgery!! i want to cry!!!!

#i still don’t know if i’ll literally ever be able to get top surgery also!!!! #because it’s not possible for me to completely cut off from my parents that’s just not going to happen #and i don’t know if there will ever be a world where i can get top surgery and they won’t forcibly shut me out #of their lives. because what i mean to say when i say i can’t cut them off #is that i can’t cut them off without losing my baby sister. and that’s not a trade off i can make #so yeah i’m sure they would happily cut me off themselves if i came out fully as trans but if that happened i would lose one of the most #important people of my life #i guess i could wait until she grows up? but that is a scarily long time from now we’re nine years apart #anyway getting back to the point of this is just. i have heart problems. that might get better when i get older #but they also might not. which has made me nervous about the prospects of binding just because it’s so much in that area of the body #and i had decided that it wouldn’t matter and i would be okay. and that they wouldn’t affect each other #but here i am in a sports bra that’s slightly too small for me. and my standing heart rate is 120!! #which isn’t abnormal when i just stood up but i’ve been standing for an hour and a half this is something different #and yeah im feeling tight in my chest and like i’m going to burst so!! seems like binding will never be an option #i can hope and pray that it’s about how long i’ve been wearing it but i’m scared that’s not what’s going on #hi from 50 minutes later when i’m finally getting around to posting this. it has not gotten better. i can’t wait to get home #this is just. terrifying. though. because not binding is something i do because of my parents and i’m supposed to be able to when i leave #for college. but it looks like that’s not going to happen!! so. good luck to me #this has been a concern of mine for a long time but there’s never been experiential proof #so it’s time to start being upset i guess. sorry for kinda venting about this stuff but just. yeah #vent cw #delete later #me. my post. mine. #ask to tag

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason #because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge #and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general #so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great #I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points #I haven't actually seen it in years