#I just love the idea of Joel falling in love with this 14 year old he's never met and the struggle of watching another parent trying to

[renegadeknight]

ooooo so interested in Treacherous!!

Okay this one is still very much an outline/mess of notes so I don't have any snips to share and it's probably the one I'm most shy about, idk why exactly, just feels like it would be less interesting to other people, so I'm just vibing by myself lol.

Anyway! It is an Anna!Lives AU where she ends up as a FEDRA lab rat for ~10 years and escapes right after Marlene finds and sends Ellie off with the fireflies. So then Joel and Tess take Anna to try to catch up at the state house but they miss them. Tess still gets bit (sorry) and then it follows Joel and Anna across the country to try to track down Ellie and as they spend more time together Anna keeps telling him more and more about little Ellie from when they were together a few years before they got separated. By the time they catch up to Ellie, Joel's ready to level the hospital for a kid he hasn't even met, and her mother.

Fun fact, I actually mentioned this one in an earlier chapter of Stubborn Love. It's one of the books Ellie gets at the library 😁

Thank you for the ask!

#there I go plotting an entire novel length longfic... again #I just love the idea of Joel falling in love with this 14 year old he's never met and the struggle of watching another parent trying to #protect their kid and at some point you know she's gonna lose hope so then he's gotta be the one to say no we're gonna find her #even tho he low key thinks she's gone but also won't give up if there's any kind of chance that she's not #And! Anna really believes in the fireflies cause of being friends with Marlene and shit but then Joel is like fuck those guys so the whole #time they're at odds over that and then they get to the hospital and Anna has to confront the fact that Marlene was really gonna kill her #kid even knowing Anna was still alive and also immune so like there were options Marlene! you didn't need to knife a 14 year old #so they disagree over that and there is some casual homicide but still a happy ending for our faves #anyway I'm actually done now thank you for asking about this one that no one else probably cares about but I love it a lot #if you couldn't tell #writing things #tlou fanfiction #treacherous #wip ask game #asked and answered

[futureman]

switching the positions

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: a collection of micro-fics chronicling the days of a very eventful week in the lives of you and joel miller (inspired by ariana grande's positions)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, pre-outbreak, established relationship, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, unprotected piv, rough sex, oral (f&m receiving), 69ing, mutual/guided masturbation, edging, mild exhibitionism, consensual somnophilia, squirting, rimming, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy kink, pregnant sex, panic attacks, mentions of parents, mentions of food

word count: 16.2k

moodboard by my sweet girl @cavillscurls ♡

a/n: whew, my pride and joy, a whole two months in the making. tysm to everyone who voted on the poll, and especially to @dinsdjrn for helping me tie this whole thing together and mya for listening to me yell about this for weeks. as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated!

SUNDAY

"Boy, I'm tryna meet your mama on a Sunday."

“She’s gonna hate me.”

“She’s not gonna hate you.”

Oh, you know this woman is going to hate you. It’s not that parents don’t like you. On the contrary, you actually get along great with people’s parents. Your friends’, your old roommate’s, your coworkers'—hell, even your own. It’s just that moms, specifically, can smell fear, and Joel’s mom is going to smell the terror wafting off of you from a mile away. 

Not that it’s personal or anything. You’re pretty sure she’d hate anyone dating her baby boy. It’s like, a boy-mom thing. Still doesn’t make you feel any better about your boyfriend’s mom potentially hating you.

“Whose idea was this dinner again?” Because if it was Joel’s, then he can still reschedule or fake an illness or, better yet, call the whole thing off.

“Baby, you know it was hers,” he replies from his spot at the edge of the bed, where he’s been watching you pace the room and throw half the closet on the floor for the past hour. You shoot him an exasperated look.

“But did you have to say yes? Isn’t it kind of early for me to be meeting your mom anyway?” 

He looks at you like you have ten heads, but you ignore him, debating two shirts in the mirror, then deciding they’re both terrible and adding them to the pile on the floor.

“It’s been a year and a half. If we wait any longer, she’ll be meetin’ you at the weddin’,” he sighs, running his hands frustratedly down his face. You pause your closet tornado to stare at him, wide-eyed, and he rolls his eyes. “I’m just sayin’, I think it’d be good for y’all to meet, is all.”

Good for who? Certainly not you. Honestly, this dinner could have serious repercussions for your relationship. It’s entirely possible she could convince him to break up with you after the night’s over. Or that you’re a bad role model and shouldn’t be allowed around Sarah anymore. Your stomach lurches violently at the thought. Then, it hits you—

“Okay, yeah, that’s fair enough—but have we thought about who’s gonna watch Sarah tonight? We can’t just leave her by herself, and I’m sure your mom would totally understand that,” you try to reason but, again, Joel’s not going for it. 

“She’s 14 years old, I think she can handle a couple hours alone,” he deadpans. “Baby, c’mon, it’s not gonna be that bad. Please? Is it really too much to ask for the woman I love to meet my momma?” 

You soften at that. Logically, you know he’s right and it’s not fair for you to keep giving him such a hard time. You’re also pre-judging someone really special to him, and now you feel like the shittiest girlfriend in the world.

“You’re right. I know you’re right—I’m sorry,” you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself. You’re not sure why you’re feeling so insecure about all this. “I just want her to like me, you know?”

He nods, lips quirking into a small smile, and pats his lap. You fall into his arms and he rocks you for a moment, kissing your hair, then your cheek. The anxiety’s starting to subside and you’re grateful for him, your sweet boyfriend who never asks you for anything. Your eyes meet his, and he leans in to kiss you softly, deeply, then pulls away just enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“I know ya do,” he murmurs, rubbing soothing circles into your thigh. “And she will, alright? Just give her a chance like she’s givin’ you one.” 

So, for Joel, you do. Turns out his mom is lovely and wonderful, just like her son, and now you have a lot to make up for.

MONDAY

"Then make a lotta love on a Monday."

It’s early and yet, somehow, you’re already awake and feeling like it’s going to be a good day. There’s no alarm clocks blaring, no feet stomping up and down the stairs. Just sweet, blissful sunlight, and it feels so good this morning. Warm and wet and, god, right there—please, keep going right there.

You reach out to feel its light against your hands and between your fingers, and it hums, sending sweet vibrations up your arms, all the way down to your thighs. Heat starts to bloom in your belly as the sun rises higher, burning hotter and hotter, and your fingers tense, tugging at its soft rays. 

Everything feels so much wetter now, and there’s no way you’re not sweating right through your shirt and into the sheets. Even your underwear is soaked, your cunt pleasurably slick and dripping as you pant softly into your pillow.

Then, all of it suddenly intensifies and you’re enveloped by a wet, dextrous warmth that circles and circles, dipping into you, fucking into you, and suddenly, you’re so, so close—

And then you’re cumming with a loud sob, hips bucking with every spasm until something broad and strong splays across your stomach and pushes you back down into the sheets. 

It's…you realize it’s Joel. Balmy and beautiful like the morning sun. He groans as you gush into his mouth, lapping up everything you give him, and you’re vaguely aware of the bed shifting under you as he grinds his hips into the mattress for relief. 

“…B-baby? What—what’s going on…,” you slur sleepily, hands tugging harder at his hair as he continues to suckle your clit through the aftershocks. You whine at the oversensitivity, and he pulls off to press one last kiss to your heat before throwing the sheets off behind his head.

His eyes meet yours and, fuck, he looks wrecked. His hair is in complete disarray and his eyes are a little wild…and then there’s the giant tent in his boxers and that delicious wet spot that makes your mouth water. He doesn’t respond—just crawls up your body to crash his lips against yours, licking into your mouth, and all you can taste is yourself when his tongue brushes against yours.

You moan into his mouth as he grinds into your sensitive core, then parts from your lips just long enough to pull your sweat-soaked shirt up and over your head. The cool morning air feels like heaven against your feverish skin and, with the sheets gone, you can feel a cool breeze coming through the open window, amplified by the oscillating fan next to the bed.

Christ, he must be so pent up by now. Your brain is finally starting to clear from its post-sleep fog, and now you’re wondering how long he’s been between your legs, eating you out like you’re the heartiest breakfast he’s ever had in his life. 

But that train of thought is quickly derailed when his lips find a new home around your nipple, sucking it into his mouth and circling his tongue around the nub until it hardens. The delicate skin feels especially tender, and you whimper quietly as the roughness of his beard scrapes against you. Your fingers thread back into his hair and you tug, urging him back up so you can feel his mouth on yours again. 

“Joel, fuck me,” you murmur against his lips, and his breath hitches. “Wanna feel you—please.” 

The sensitivity must’ve already subsided because your hips are steadily meeting his and you’re feeling so desperate to have him inside you. His cock feels heavy as he rubs himself against your slick cunt and, while the fabric provides the most incredible friction when it grazes your clit, you want him bare immediately. 

“Now…ngh—now,” you whine, and you’re stunned he still has the patience to tease when he pulls away slightly to smirk down at you.

“Needy girl this morning, ain’t ya?” His voice is thick with sleep and so much desire, and it makes your still locked-down pussy clench painfully. “S’alright, baby, ‘m gonna give it to ya.”

Wrenching his boxers down, he grips under your legs to push both of your knees to your chest before nudging the blunt head of his cock against your entrance. He inches in just the tip and immediately lets out a whoosh of air.

“So fuckin’ tight, Jesus Christ,” he grits through his teeth, working himself in and out of you until he’s buried to the hilt, the coarse hair at the base of his cock brushing against you just right. He lingers for a brief moment, grinding into you deeply, languidly while you adjust to his girth.

"S'good. Feels good," you murmur, sighing contently. He's brushing that spot he can only reach when he fucks you like this, so you lock your ankles behind his back, silently telling him to stay. But it feels a little selfish, and you can feel how much he's holding back.

"Baby...I gotta move," he pants, trembling with the effort it's taking not to lengthen his thrusts. Pulling out slowly, he presses back into you deep enough to nudge that spot again, and your vision goes hazy. "Promise, I'll take care of ya—"

You moan in unison as you flutter around him, and he takes that as the go-ahead to continue, his cock reappearing wetter and shinier after every stroke. His skin is glistening, too, slick with sweat that runs down his temples and pools where your bodies connect. 

The heat of him is addictive and it's everywhere—blooming in your chest, blazing between your legs, and igniting something fathomless inside you. But somehow, it's still not hot enough. You know he can give you more, your blindingly beautiful sun.

Wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, you squeeze your thighs into his sides to pull him flush against your body, and you can feel his heartbeat pounding through his chest. The steady rhythm matches his thrusts perfectly, but he's groaning so sweetly in your ear that you have a feeling it won't for long.

You belatedly realize how hard you're clenching around him, suddenly so close to tumbling over the edge for the second time this morning, and he redoubles his efforts to follow you.

"L-like that, keep going just like that," you encourage between sharp exhales. "That—that's it."

He braces a hand next to your head on the pillow to stabilize himself, and you wrap your fingers around his wrist, grounding yourself to him. His eyes meet yours fondly before he buries his face into the crook of your neck to do the same, panting heavily against your skin.

Soft, brown curls tickle your cheek, and you turn your head to nose into his hair, breathing him in. He smells earthy like freshly-mown grass and sawdust, and it fills your lungs, surrounding you just when you need it the most. 

You gasp in his air, hips swiveling into his desperately as you chase your release. He's slamming directly into that spot now, pushing your knees back into your chest to reach even deeper, but his thighs are starting to tense.

"'m not gonna last long," he admits breathily, all but folding you in half so he can brush his lips against yours. "S'too good...gonna make me cum so hard."

"Please...please, please." Fuck, you want to feel it. To feel him pulsing inside you, filling you up so good, so much. "Joel, cum—please cum."

So close, you're so close. Your soft sighs have evolved into something louder and higher-pitched. Too loud for this early in the morning, and enough to wake up the entire house if you're not careful.

Joel seals his mouth over yours, swallowing every noise that escapes your lips as he pounds into you with purpose, dragging against your walls, and it's...fuck, you're—

Gushing, sobbing as you cum, and he groans, long and drawn out, immediately following you over the edge. Releasing your legs, he digs his fingers into your hips to hold you in place, keeping his cock buried deep inside you as you milk him dry.

"Fuck me," he exhales shakily, pumping into you twice before pulling out and collapsing on top of you. "Good fuckin' morning."

A breathy laugh bubbles out of your chest, but you immediately cringe at the feeling of his cum leaking out of you and onto the sheets. You wedge a hand between your bodies, reaching down to swipe your thumb between your folds and procure a glob that you suck wetly into your mouth. 

"Very good fuckin' morning," you smile cheekily at the look of awe on his face. He shakes his head, chuckling as he wraps you up in his arms and rolls you over onto your sides. His chest expands into you with a massive yawn, and you're helpless but to mirror him.

"How much time we got until the alarm?" he mutters sleepily, sounding like he could pass out at any moment. You're craning your head back to check when—

The damn thing starts blaring before you can even catch a glimpse of the time. Not that you need to now—it's 6 a.m., your mortal enemy. You glare at the clock like it personally offended you, and Joel only chuckles, pulling you back down with him.

"Snooze it," he murmurs, mouthing damply at your neck, his hands exploring your soft, bare skin. "We still got time."

You barely hear him, already lost in the feeling of his fingers skimming up your sides, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts. He leans over you to hit the button himself before returning to you, kissing you like you've both got all the time in the world.

Neither of you makes it to work on time.

TUESDAY

"Cookin' in the kitchen, and I'm in the bedroom."

The oven is broken. Probably. The stove, too. It’s really not your fault—all you did was turn some knobs and stand there, but for some reason, none of the burners are catching and the oven sure isn’t cooking this chicken like it’s supposed to.

You don't even like chicken but, for some ungodly reason, you've had a wicked craving for it lately. And Joel loves it, so. That explains why you’re in the kitchen, getting side-eyed by a very skeptical 14 year old, trying to cook a nice dinner for her very overworked father. It’s not going well.

“Did you hear it click when you tried turning it on?” Sarah asks patiently, and now it’s your turn to look skeptical.

“Uhh, the knob or the stove?” You eye the appliance dubiously like it’s doing whatever it’s doing on purpose. She laughs pointing to one of the burners.

“So, when you twist the knob, gas comes out of here,” she taps the grating around the burner, “and the clicking creates a spark that ignites the gas so it lights. Then, voila, you’ve got a working stove.”

“Oh,” you reply dumbly, looking back and forth between her and the stove until she finally gets the hint.

“Fine, fine. I can do it,” she rolls her eyes good-naturedly. And of course, the stupid thing works with zero issues when she does it. You give her a grateful smile before throwing the dirtiest glare you can muster at the oven.

“What do we do about that one? I guess I could try cooking the whole chicken in a big pan, but I can’t guarantee we won’t all die from food poisoning…,” you trail off, starting to feel a little useless. 

It’s not like you’re completely inept in the kitchen. You can use a toaster or a microwave like a damn pro, and even the blender if you’re feeling especially adventurous, but you’ve never made a big meal like this before. Sarah likes to cook when you’re not ordering out, which admittedly is most of the time, so this was supposed to be something special for her, too. 

“It’s the same general concept,” she says, still kind and patient as ever, squatting down to show you a different set of knobs. You observe her for a moment, missing the start of her explanation, because it’s times like these where you can see so much of Joel in her. 

It’s that spark in her eyes when she gets to share bits of her well-earned knowledge. To use her expertise to teach someone something brand new. Joel gets the same look when he’s trying to teach you guitar. His eyes shine when you finally get a chord down, and he downright beams when you can finish an entire bar by yourself. 

You must’ve zoned out for too long because she’s suddenly waving a hand in front of your face, smiling her dad’s sweet smile as she waits for your focus to return to the task at hand. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. What did I miss?” you ask sheepishly. She nods to the oven, already lit and heating up to the required 400 degrees Fahrenheit for cooking baked chicken.

“All good! It’s set for whenever you’ve got the food prepped. You just have to wait for it to hit temperature—it’ll beep when it’s ready,” she says, walking around the kitchen island to grab her backpack. 

…Wait. She’s leaving?

“Woah, wait, where are you going? You can’t leave yet,” you plead, still desperate for her help. “What if I burn the house down?”

“You’re not gonna burn down the house,” she snorts, already at the door tugging on her sneakers. “Just remember to turn off the burners and you’ll be fine. And save me some food!… Unless everyone gets sick, then maybe don’t.”

You shoot her a look of absolute betrayal, and she laughs, opening the front door and waving over her shoulder. 

“See ya later! Good luck, I believe in you!” 

And then she’s gone, and you’re left alone with your misery and a bunch of random ingredients you still have to magically make into a meal.

You slump against the counter, lamenting the loss of your sous chef until the oven beeps, scaring the shit out of you. Oh, great. You’ve barely even started seasoning the chicken. It can’t be that hard, right?

Twenty minutes later, you’re standing in front of a very peppery-looking raw chicken—which is officially disgusting again, you changed your mind—wishing you had just ordered Boston Market and lied about making it yourself. Lesson learned for next time. Like there’ll be a next time.

Well, at least no one can say you didn’t try. You throw a bunch of mixed vegetables into the bottom of the pan like the recipe says and pop it in the oven, setting the timer for 40 minutes and hoping for the best. 

Glancing at the clock above the sink, you realize you’re cutting it close on time. You told Joel to be home by eight, which means he’ll probably actually get here at nine, and it’s already 7:30. Yikes. Time flies when you’re trying not to fuck up a dinner that was doomed from the start.

The last piece of the puzzle is thankfully the easiest. Now, mashed potatoes are definitely something you can make. Boiling water? Piece of cake. Pouring in the instant flakes from the box and adding butter? Done and done.

There’s no way anyone’ll be able to tell you didn’t make them from scratch unless they check the trash and, anyways, the instant stuff is better. You’ll go down with that ship. 

Now for the pièce de résistance: the perfect evening attire. A cute, 50s-era apron you thrifted two weeks ago that’ll go over the teeny, tiny Victoria’s Secret lingerie set you’ve been hiding in the back of the closet.

Joel will probably think it’s hilarious, once he stops drooling. Hopefully you’ll even make it to dinner, otherwise, the stress of this entire afternoon was a totally moot point. But he’ll have to be a good boy and finish his food before he can have dessert—apple pie you definitely didn’t make, and you laid out on his bed like the best fucking treat he’ll ever taste.

You end up with enough time to take the chicken and veggies out of the oven—the meat thermometer tells you it’s cooked through and that’s good enough for you—and stir up the mashed potatoes before you have to head upstairs to get everything else ready. So far, surprisingly, so good. 

You’re in the middle of patting yourself on the back for a job well-done, with time to spare, when you hear the front door open. At eight fucking thirty. This would be the one day Joel gets home early and, by the sounds of dishware and cutlery clinking around downstairs, he’s already discovered your big surprise. 

“Baby, you up there?” he calls up the stairs. “What’s all this?”

Well. Guess it’s showtime. You finish tying the apron around your waist before giving yourself one last once over in the mirror. Everything fits perfectly, just like you knew it would, and the food’s done, for better or worse. So there’s no need to be nervous, right? It’s just Joel. Your Joel. He’d love it no matter what, even if it all ends up being total shit. 

Taking a steadying breath, you head down the stairs, letting your appearance serve as his answer. The apron rubs scratchily against your skin, a reminder of how naked you actually are underneath, and you let your confidence in Joel’s inevitably wanton reaction make you brave.

And he doesn’t disappoint. His eyes rove over you greedily, from the pout of your lips to the tiniest slip of your nipple peeking over your bra, all the way down to the soft, bare skin of your legs. Yeah, no need to be nervous at all.

“Just a little surprise I cooked up,” you smirk a little deviously as you reach the bottom of the stairs. He’s on you in a second, hands exploring your body eagerly, impatiently, as he leans in to kiss you, but he’s halted by a finger to his lips. “Uh-uh. Can’t have dessert yet. There’s a whole meal waiting for you—I made your favorite.”

He chuckles, gingerly pressing a kiss to your finger instead before leading you backward into the kitchen. 

“Well, let’s get started then. I’m starvin’,” he says, looking hungrier than you’ve ever seen him. You return his gaze, suddenly feeling ravenous yourself.

“Good. It’s dinner time.”

WEDNESDAY

"Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle."

Spin class sucks.

There’s really no need for the music to be this loud. And it’s bad. They say it’s supposed to amp you up for rigorous exercise, but it’s just giving you a headache.

It’s also about a thousand degrees in here, and you’d be leaving a massive pool of sweat on this seat if you were even allowed to sit on it. The whole concept of spinning makes no sense, and you’re starting to think it’s actually just a dance class on stationary bikes because no one in their right mind would ever ride a bicycle like this. 

It’s embarrassing, for starters, and you’re surrounded by hot people that are way better at it than you are. You didn’t even know you could gyrate on a fucking bike until today, and they all somehow make it look sexy. Like they’re legitimately having a great time. Having fun. 

But not you. The music might honestly be doing you a favor by drowning out your pathetic attempts to breathe. You’re starting to get a little lightheaded and feel like you’re about to be sick.

No workout is worth this. You can’t even pretend to follow the instructor’s directions, because you can barely hear her over the speakers. She probably can't even hear herself, yelling into the void of shitty EDM remixes, and expecting everyone to pick it up. If you’d known this was just some fucked up version of leg day, you would’ve skipped it. 

There's no sneaking out early, either. You took the bus and Joel won’t be here to pick you up for at least another half hour. Honestly, you'd rather walk home and let that be your exercise for the day, but unless you plan on jogging along the highway, you're shit out of luck.

The beat abruptly picks back up, startling you out of your personal pity party, and then everyone's asses are in the air again, hips swiveling so perfectly in sync that it has to be choreographed. You're getting the hang of it now that you're realizing the routine just repeats itself, but it still feels mildly exploitative. 

It doesn't help that your class is starting to draw in a crowd, likely attracted by all of the revealing athletic wear on display. At least you got that memo. Whoever had the bright idea to put a huge glass wall at the back of the room was either a genius or a pervert. Probably both, depending on who you ask.

Once the hardest section of the choreography passes, you look behind you to check the time, praying more than you think has passed, but you're sorely disappointed. And the crowd outside's only gotten bigger.

Don't these assholes have anything better to do than stand there drooling over a spin class? You continue to glare at them over your shoulder through the next part of the song, looking a little ridiculous grinding into your seat as you silently tell them all off.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch one of them off to the side laughing, but when you turn to send an even harsher look in their direction, you realize you recognize him. 

What a dick. If you'd known he was going to be this early, you definitely would've snuck out and waited outside instead of becoming another piece of eye candy for a bunch of gym rats. 

Joel looks a little too pleased with himself, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed like he’s enjoying the view as much as the rest of those creeps. Well, if he wants a show, then you’ll give him one. Now that you’ve gotten the movements down, you can put all of your energy into making him wish there wasn’t an entire glass wall separating him from you. 

That one, grueling section of the song loops back around, and this time you put your all into it, arching like you’re supposed to, swiveling your hips into the seat with all of the muscle control you’ve got. Your shorts ride up your ass at the change in movement, probably giving you a wicked camel toe, but you let them. You can only imagine the look on Joel’s face now.

The song starts to wind down, finally coming to a stop, and you lower yourself back onto the seat, panting with the exertion of the past 45 minutes. Turning back around, you notice the crowd has mostly dispersed, save for a few stragglers and Joel, who’s panting almost as hard as you are. 

Your eyes drop to his pants, and you quirk an eyebrow. His breathing’s not the only thing that’s hard. He looks a little wrecked and, suddenly, this whole workout thing feels like it might’ve been worth it after all. 

You hop off the bike and retrieve your duffel from the back of the room, teasingly flicking the glass in front of his face before exiting with the rest of the class.

"Ready to go?" you ask brightly, still feeling high off the endorphin rush. He doesn't respond, looking a little dazed as he watches a droplet of sweat run down your neck, past your collarbone, and right between your breasts. "You doing alright there, bud?"

You laugh, enjoying your revenge a little too much, reveling in the way his jaw tenses and the muscles in his neck twitch angrily. It’s about to be a very interesting ride home—or it would’ve been if you’d made it that far. 

On the way out, you pass an out-of-order men’s room, and he yanks you inside, locking the door behind you.

It's a little surprising he's this pent up after the night you had, especially with the sheer amount of sex you’ve been having lately—not that you're complaining. But what's even more surprising is that he's choosing right now to rectify it, basically in public where anyone could overhear or walk in on you. It's...really out of character for him. You thought he'd at least make it to the car.

“Joel, what the—,” you yelp as he lifts you up by the waist to settle you on the edge of a sink. It's clear his patience has completely run out because, within seconds, he's dropping to his knees, burying his face in your heat. "—fuck."

Your legs immediately try to close around his head, but he forces them back open with enough strength to overextend your already abused hamstrings. It shouldn't feel as good as it does, but the pain, combined with his blunt nails biting into your thighs, sends delicious jolts right to your core. 

You exhale shakily, burying your fingers in his hair as he sucks a damp patch into your shorts, just slightly lower than where you need him. Your hips buck, urging him higher, but he doesn't allow that either, shoving them back down onto the hard porcelain beneath you.

Should've known it wouldn't be that easy. He's handling you aggressively, rougher than you would've expected, and that's when you realize he's mad.

"Bet ya thought that was real funny, teasin' me like that," he growls into your clothed pussy, licking up the seam to swirl wet circles where your clit throbs under too many layers. "Don't feel very nice, does it?"

His eyes meet yours as he sucks a little harder, and you whimper, tugging at his hair in a silent plea for him to take your shorts off and eat you out the way you both want him to. But he's going to drag this out and you know it. 

Joel loves a little payback and has the patience of a saint unless he's pushed past his limit. To your detriment, you shoved him over that line with the stunt you pulled earlier, so now you'll have to convince him it's in his best interest to let it go.

Switching tactics, you tempt him with what he could have if he just gave in. Your fingers dip beneath your waistband, and you sigh as you slick them up against your folds before dipping them inside. You're already soaked, and so tight, even around two of your own fingers, and you tell him as much.

"No, it doesn't feel nice...but I know something that will," you pump your fingers in and out of yourself, the muted sound of wet squelching reaching your ears. "Hear that?—," you gasp, hips lifting off the sink as you accidentally graze something spongey and sensitive, "—t-that's all for you."

And it works like a charm. Your shorts and underwear are pulled off in a single, hard tug, his tongue fucking into you before you can even fully inhale, and you choke out a strangled moan instead. He eats you out like a man starved, his nose nudging your clit with every dip of his tongue, and it feels so potent, you practically see stars. 

Your combined slick and his saliva are starting to leak over the edge of the sink but he catches every drop, and the way he slurps you up makes your cheeks burn. Joel's a lot of things when he's between your legs—enthusiastic, generous, and a little sloppy, but he's never wasteful. 

Two thick fingers prod at your entrance, and then he's pressing them into you, the slide snug, but easy with how wet you are for him. Finally, finally, you can feel your orgasm building, and you're sent reeling when his tongue fucks into you between his fingers, filling you up—it's...yes, right there—

But he abruptly pulls his mouth away, still not done making you pay.

"Damn right, it's all for me. Ya think those jackasses watching you weren't thinkin' about this?" he growls, his fingers slowing to leisurely stroke your walls as if they weren't about to throw you over the edge a moment ago. "Think they could make you feel this good? Make you cum like I do?"

Your pussy flutters pathetically around him, and the false look of sympathy he gives you makes you want to cry out of sheer frustration.

"Gonna need an answer if you want me to keep goin'," he drawls, still close enough that you can feel his breath, hot against your cunt.

You bite down on your bottom lip, just hard enough to momentarily distract yourself from the aching between your legs so you can respond, but you're taking too long. His fingers have all but stopped, so you panic.

"Fuck those assholes. Fuck all of them," you grit through your teeth. He quirks an eyebrow, marginally picking up the pace of his fingers.

"Fuck 'em, huh? That what you wanna do?" He's teasing you, and even though it's obvious, you fall right into his trap, anyway. Blanching, you shake your head furiously.

"N-no—no, no, no. Just you, only wanna fuck you," you gasp, frantically trying to convince him of something you both already know to be true without a shadow of a doubt. It's honestly impressive that he can work you like this and, even more so, that he's the only one that can.

"S'okay, I know...I know. This right here—," he gives your clit a few kitten licks, the pads of his fingertips rubbing that perfect spot inside you, "—s'mine." 

Then, he's burying his face back between your legs, redoubling his efforts, and it's so fucking sloppy. Wet and hot, and hungry, as if edging you has the same effect on him. 

You feel him groan into you as you start to tighten around his fingers, loud enough that his chest rumbles with it, sending sweet vibrations up your thighs. The sound of his belt jingling, then hitting the floor vaguely makes it past the blood rushing in your ears, but his broad shoulders and head bobbing between your legs are blocking your view.

All you can see or hear is the frantic movement of his arm, his hand working up and down his cock, and the sound of skin slapping on skin. Fuck, that's—so hot, you're so close. So fucking close—

But he's got one last edge left in him. 

You're throbbing so violently that for a second you're terrified he ruined your orgasm, but no, you're still teetering on the cusp, thighs quaking so hard, you can’t believe you haven’t crushed his head between them already. At this point, the smallest touch, even the tiniest puff of air would send you hurtling over.

He's still jerking himself off, sounding delirious as he separates his mouth from you to speak.

"Need to hear ya s-say it...," he pants, and you cry out, angrily reaching down to roughly shove his face back into you, but he resists. Spurred on by your reaction, he only fucks into his fist faster. “Nobody else gets to taste ya like I do…do they? Say it. Say it and I'll…ngh—let you cum,” he moans lowly, possessively. 

Joel sounds completely gone. You never could've imagined dry humping a fucking stationary bike would set him off like this, or that a bunch of dumb muscleheads would make him this jealous. He's so lost in it, in you. 

But the way he's looking up at you right now—it's like he really does need you to do this for him. To tell him that it’s just him, and it’ll only ever be him. It’s the truth. No one else has ever made you feel the way he does, with his mouth and hands, or his heart, and they never will again.

You whine, shaking your head pleadingly, ready to tell him whatever he wants to hear. Anything for him to put his mouth back on you again.

"T-they don't—no one else gets to, but you...only you," you keen as he seals his lips around your clit, all of his fears and insecurities finally soothed. Your head tips back, the feeling of his hot tongue laving over the sensitive bundle of nerves and his thick fingers—three of them, now—dragging against your walls exactly what you need. 

You cum frighteningly quickly, your orgasm so powerful and overwhelming that you start to black out. Your eyes squeeze shut, and then it’s all just pleasure—the tension in all of your limbs slowly bleeds out with every spasm of your cunt, and something wet…so wet, splashes against your inner thighs. 

Joel groans louder than you think you’ve ever heard him, the sound practically punched out of his chest as he licks broader lines up your pussy, sucking and slurping, and what…what is that? Why the fuck are you so wet? He—did Joel cum on you, and you didn’t even notice?

But that’s impossible because now his body’s completely seizing up, the hand around his cock stilling as he spurts thick ropes of cum across the bathroom floor. Or at least that’s the image your brain conjures up, unable to see it for yourself. 

Your vision’s only just beginning to return to you, and you immediately look down to see what actually happened...and fuck. It was you. Joel’s head is resting on your thigh, nuzzling into your soft, very damp skin, and he's looking up at you in awe.

“Shit, baby…,” he pants, chest heaving, cock still twitching in his hand. "Ain't ever seen you do that before."

You blink blearily, lips parting as you take him in. He's a goddamn mess. His face and beard are soaked, and his shirt is splattered with what you can only assume is your release. You fucking squirted? In a dirty gym bathroom?

"What the fuck?" you mumble, still dazed and a little in disbelief at how your first, and probably last, trip to the gym went. You shake your head, clearing up the brain fog enough to quickly process the past two hours, and now you're in shock. "Joel, what the fuck?" you ask again incredulously.

He has the nerve to look sheepish where he's still happily nestled between your legs post-orgasm, and you bop the top of his head with your palm, eyeing him expectantly.

"Wanna explain what all of that was?"

"Look—," he starts, lips quirking down into that little frown you know so well. "If you'd've heard the shit those fuckers were sayin' about ya. Probably would've said worse if I hadn't told 'em to fuck off before they got into some real trouble."

"Wait, you were the reason they all took off? Joel," you laugh because suddenly it all makes sense. 

You just learned the hard way that a grumpy, jealous Joel means getting edged until you black out. Pretty good knowledge to have for future reference, to be honest. Now that you're not sobbing with his head between your legs, it all seems so silly.

"What, did ya expect me to just stand there and let 'em talk about fuckin' my girl right in front of me?"

"I mean, no, but...I dunno, maybe just take the compliment next time and don't threaten a group of scary, muscular men," you chuckle fondly, cupping his wet cheeks in your hands. "Okay? It basically just means you have a hot girlfriend. Congratulations!" 

But he only grumbles in response, still pouting like a child. You bend down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, and he sighs, some of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders.

"What if, when we get home, I show you some of the techniques I learned in my class?" you murmur into his hair. He tilts his head back, eyeing you skeptically.

"Baby, we don't have a stationary bike," he says, brows furrowed in confusion. You suck your bottom lip into your mouth, eyes dropping to his lap.

"That's okay. We won't need one."

THURSDAY

"You can't imagine what I'm 'bout to say. You really wanna know? You'll have to wait. (It's a surprise, surprise.)"

Blue, blue, blue. Just do it, just be blue! It's a great color—the best color, maybe even your favorite color.

You keep chanting at it, loudly and in your head, but the plastic stick doesn't seem to appreciate your encouragement. It just stares back at you, blank and unhelpful.

How much longer do the instructions say you have to wait? One to three minutes, that's it? It feels like it's already been two hours, but it's actually only been...30 seconds. What the fuck.

Maybe if you shake it, it'll develop faster. It's basically like a polaroid, right? And Outkast has never steered you wrong, so. You lean over from where you're still sitting on the toilet, pants around your ankles, to test your theory but it's too late.

It already has an answer for you. ...Wait, what? Both of the lines are blue. So...does that mean you're extra not pregnant? You snatch up the pamphlet again, actually reading through the directions this time, and your stomach drops. Pink was never even an option. 

Two blue lines. Pregnant.

You knew this week was going a little too well. 

Those random bouts of nausea, the weird cravings, the fucking breast tenderness. They didn't need to mean anything. They shouldn't have meant anything.

Fuck. Fuck. What are you supposed to do now? You're way too young to have a baby. Well. Okay, that's a massive lie, but still, you're definitely not ready to have one. Or to be…pregnant. You shudder at the thought. 

Swollen ankles, morning sickness, mood swings. You’re already a walking rollercoaster of emotions, and your back hurts from just existing. No, you can’t do this. 

It's not about the finances, either. You and Joel both have steady jobs and could make it work if you wanted to, but do you want to? Will he? He’s not your husband, not even your fiancée, so there’s no reason for him to stick around. It’s not his burden.

There's just too many unanswered questions. And Joel's already someone's dad. He did the whole baby thing by himself and got it right the first around.

Sarah's perfect—fuck, what is Sarah going to think? Stupid, this was so stupid. You thought you were being so careful. Sure, Joel cums inside you basically every time you have sex, but that's totally beside the point. 

You take those dumb little pills at the same time every day, just like you're supposed to. Except…when’s the last time you had a period? Did you even get it last month? The month before? 

Shit, that wedding—when was that wedding? Your coworker’s, the rich one who decided to have a fucking destination wedding in Hawaii a couple months ago. It was decadent. You and Joel were super drunk the entire time and fucked like rabbits for three days straight. 

Fuck.

Don't cry. Do not cry. Joel will probably be back from picking Sarah up from soccer practice any minute, so you need to hold it together. Maybe you just won’t tell them, at least not until you’ve had more time to process everything and decide what you’re going to do.

But, god, you wear your emotions on your sleeve, and even more so on your face. They’ll know something’s off the second they look at you, and you won’t be able to talk yourself out of it. You’ve always been a shit liar. 

Tears start to fall without your permission. You slump slowly to the floor, pants still around your ankles, and curl up into a ball, willing it all to go away—the tiny clump of cells growing inside your belly and the regret of being so careless, of letting yourself get caught up in a serious relationship in the first place. This isn’t something you can just wish away. It’s life-changing and nothing will ever be the same again. Was it really worth it?

No, no. Of course, it was. Snap out of it.

If only it were that easy. Sobs wrack your entire body, and you can barely hear yourself choking on them, unable to hold them in anymore. Your eyes squeeze shut as you desperately try to block out your reality, but it seeps up your nose and into your mouth, salty and unignorable. 

Blood rushes in your ears and you realize belatedly that you’re starting to hyperventilate, but you can’t stop. You’re drawing in too much air all at once and it’s making your vision go fuzzy. It’s all just too much. Anger, sadness, and fear consume you until you’re screaming with it, desperate to expel it from your body any way you can.

So, you don’t hear the front door opening or Joel and Sarah running up the stairs, completely panic-stricken. 

Joel reaches the ensuite bathroom first and all but breaks down the door, but he’s met with the sight of your half-naked body in a heap on the floor. Immediately, he turns to block Sarah from getting in.

“Hey, hey—no,” he says firmly, wrapping her up in his arms to keep her from seeing past him. “You’re not goin’ in there. Ya gotta give us some time, alright?”

She looks up at him, scared and visibly shaken. 

“What if—do you think she’s okay in there? Was she hurt…d-did you see her?” she asks softly, eyes wet. “Can I see her?”

“Not right now, kiddo,” he mumbles, kicking the bathroom door shut behind him before leading her out of his room and into the hallway. “‘m sorry.”

The crestfallen look on Sarah’s face is the last thing he sees before he closes the door on her. But he has to ignore how badly it feels to keep her away from you, at least until he can figure out what the hell is wrong and how he’s going to fix it.

Your cries have quieted since earlier, but not nearly enough to ease Joel's fears. He can still hear you through the door, hiccuping softly, and opens it gently this time, entering slowly as if he's trying not to spook a scared animal.

It doesn't work as well as he'd hoped. Your head shoots up, a small gasp escaping your lips as you dizzily pull your pants back up.  

"Easy there, s'okay. Baby, s'just me, don't worry," he murmurs, dropping to his knees on the floor next to you, but you flinch away. You can only imagine the hurt in his eyes, and the mental image tugs at your heart. "I need ya to tell me what happened. Did ya hurt yourself?"

Yeah, you could say that.

You shake your head, the only thing you're capable of doing in the state you're in. Trying to speak would be useless after all the screaming you just did and you can't bear to look him in the eye.

"Hey, talk to me. If somethin's the matter, I need to know, 'specially if we gotta get you to the hospital," he says, reaching out to touch you. 

His hand grazes your shoulder, and your body jerks so viscerally that you slam your knees into the bottom of the sink. You let out a tiny whimper of pain right as you hear something small and plastic hit the ground next to you. 

Oh, no. Shit. You desperately try to kick the test out of reach, to cover it with your body—anything to keep him from seeing it—but his fingers wrap around it before you get the chance. He sucks in a harsh breath through his teeth and you feel your whole world shattering. 

That's it, then. Even just a glance at those two blue lines will have immediately told Joel all he needs to know. Now he'll leave and he'd have every right. This is all your fault.

Your cheeks are wet again, but this time you can't bring yourself to care. Turning away from him, you curl back into a ball, ignoring the angry throbbing in your knees as you wait for him to yell or throw the test, or finally get up and walk out.

But he doesn't. Instead, you hear him delicately set the test back on the sink and then he lays down behind you on the floor, wrapping his arms around you and pulling your back into his chest.

His heartbeat is fast. It's racing against you and, yet, somehow his breathing is still so calm. The calm before the storm, you're sure of it. You tense, anticipation sitting heavily on your chest and lungs, and he can feel it.

His lips press into the back of your neck and even though the action is so tender and so Joel, you still can’t convince yourself that maybe you’ve misjudged this entire situation. Or that you’ve misjudged him.

“Sweetheart,” he sighs, resting his forehead between your shoulder blades. It hasn’t escaped your notice that he isn’t calling you baby anymore. You can’t tell if that’s for your benefit or his. "Tell me what you're thinkin'."

Time feels like it's moving in slow motion. You really don't mean to ignore him…it’s just that you’re not thinking anything. Lying there in his arms, your mind goes blank, giving in to the white noise of his heartbeat syncopating your own fragile rhythm. 

But somehow he seems to understand you completely, filling the silence himself. His voice lulls you into a false sense of security, or…no. No, that’s not right. It’s real. His security, his safety, is real and reliable, proven and palpable.

“Listen to me—I need ya to hear this, alright? I want whatever you want and if ya don’t want this, we’re not doin’ it,” he says firmly, like he means it with every fiber of his being. You do hear him. But your heart and mind are still rebelling, begging you to see their own senseless logic. Joel won’t stop until he convinces them, too.

“But if ya do…if—,” his voice trails off, cracking almost imperceptibly. At least, to anyone else but you. “—if ya wanna do this with me, then ‘m with ya. Every step of the way, ‘m with ya.”

Then, for the first time since those blue lines appeared in your life, you feel peace. And it's all him. He’s given you a choice—one you knew you always had, but never thought to factor him into. You didn’t think you deserved to involve him. But he does. He deserves that choice, too.

The floodgates open and soon you’re sobbing uncontrollably again, but this time it feels cathartic. Like he’s freed you from a prison of your own making. You find your voice, wet and shaky.

“Joel, I’m scared,” you weep, turning in his arms to finally meet his eyes. And there they are. Brown and beautiful and clear, unclouded by fear and regret, and you let them make you brave. For him and your tiny clump of cells. 

“What if I can’t do this? What—I…,” you hiccup through the disjointed thought, “—if I give up…if it’s just too hard...”

“S’why there’s two of us,” he bends down to murmur soothingly into your cheek, lips brushing against the corner of your own. “But ya can’t push me away anymore. If we do this, then we do it together,” and that lances straight through your heart, obliterating all doubt and setting your decision in stone. 

Together. You’re in this together.

“Okay,” you croak, sniffling as he wipes away your tears. You repeat it, clearer this time. “Okay.”

FRIDAY

"You might think I'm crazy, the way I've been cravin'. If I put it quite plainly, just gimme them babies."

Doctors' offices have no business being as scary as they are. Bare and sterile, and not an ounce of color to be found anywhere but those creepy posters of in-depth diagrams of the human body. Gross.

You fight the urge to turn around and head straight back to the truck but, as if he can sense your plan to make a run for it, Joel places both hands on your shoulders and leads you toward the reception desk. 

“C’mon, we got this,” he says quietly in your ear, likely reassuring both of you. “We go in, they tell us you ’n the baby are healthy, then we get out.” 

You grimace. The baby. That’s still so weird. There’s literally a tiny being growing inside you, eating your food, and sitting on your fucking bladder. It’s like that thing in Alien that bursts out of people’s chests.

Great. Well, that’s officially off the list for movie night later, which Joel promised you'd have if you got your check-up without trying to escape. Technically, you’re doing great so far. And it’s an extremely tempting offer. 

Movie nights at the Miller house usually include a trip to 7/11 for popcorn, soda, and a box of your favorite candy. Those annoying cravings you’re just now realizing are because you’re pregnant would be extremely satiated by that. 

You’ll also get to curl up on the couch with Joel all night in a childless house because Sarah's staying at a friend’s. Win-win. But first, you have to make it through this check-up. 

Everything up until you’re inside the actual examination room isn’t actually so bad. The receptionist is nice enough, even though you can tell she deals with a lot of first-time moms by the way she treats you with baby gloves, and the wait time is less than 10 minutes. 

Yeah, you’ve totally got this. Or at least you did until the doctor shows up with an ultrasound machine and lifts your shirt to squeeze that freezing cold goop all over your stomach. You look up at Joel, scared and a little bewildered, and he takes your hand in his, rubbing soothing circles into your skin. The screen lights up with what you assume is a real-time view of the inside of your belly and, after that, it’s all sort of a blur. 

Six weeks. They tell you that you’re already six weeks pregnant, so you definitely conceived at that dumb wedding. At least you’ve got a story to tell. You’re also entering that fun stage where your nausea’s mostly cleared up, but now you’ll either be super tired or super horny at any given time. 

You try not to laugh when you feel Joel’s hand subtly twitch in yours. Of course, he perks up at that. Honestly, you’d be a liar if you said you weren’t going to enjoy it, too. Immensely.

Then, comes the big one. The entire point of this doctor’s visit, and the reason you and Joel are gripping each other so tight, you’re cutting off the other’s circulation. But it’s good news. Luckily, it's all good news.

Your tiny clump of cells is healthy, you’re healthy, and you can go home now, equipped with all of that very calming knowledge. One day, you’re going to have to stop calling them a clump, but you’ve decided today is not that day.

“Told ya it wouldn’t be so bad,” he teases as you walk out to the truck, still hand-in-hand. 

But his eyes betray his tone. There’s a seriousness to his joy, and you can see it so clearly in the way he’s looking at you like you’ve given him the greatest gift in the world. It makes you feel warm and…important. Loved. He continues, his voice tinged with something a little softer. 

“Thank you…for goin’, I mean. S’good to know that everythin’s alright. That you’re alright.”

You stop next to the car, meeting his gaze with what you hope is the same amount of love and affection you see, and throw your arms around his neck. 

“Thanks for taking me, and just…being here. Like, really being here, not just showing up so you can say you did,” you say earnestly, and he leans down to kiss you, his arms wrapping around you to pull you close.

“‘Course, baby. Don't have to thank me for that,” he mumbles against your lips. 

Not ready to separate from him, you deepen the kiss, running your tongue along his bottom lip until he opens for you and licking into his mouth freely. He groans as you press him into the side of the truck, his hands trailing down your sides to grip the plush of your ass through your jeans. 

You can feel him starting to stiffen against your belly and that carnal hunger the doctor warned you about takes over, the need to feel more, more of him overwhelming you. He’s just so solid everywhere. 

Your fingers skim underneath his shirt to feel his stomach flexing beneath your palms, and you roll your hips into his, gasping into his mouth at the friction. You’re so caught up in his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth, that you don’t hear the group of people passing by on the other side of the truck.

But Joel does. He begrudgingly pulls away from you, hard as a rock and panting heavily. You whine at the loss, and he twitches against you in response.

“C’mon, baby, I’m not fuckin’ you in a goddamn Planned Parenthood parkin’ lot,” he chuckles, leading you to the passenger’s side of the car. He smacks your ass when you resist, and you shoot him a wounded glare. “Uh-uh, none’a that. ‘m takin’ you home. Owe ya a movie, don’t I?”

You perk up at the mention of his promise from earlier.

“You sure do. And candy, and popcorn, and soda,” you list off, easily distracted by the prospect of shitty junk food. You bounce into the car, shifting the seat to recline as far as it’ll go. “What are we watching?”

“Whatever you want, baby."

Well, he did say he’d give you whatever you wanted. And for a while, it was the movie—you’d even picked out your favorite. But you only manage to get about 20 minutes in before Joel's arm around your shoulder and chest under your cheek become an unignorable distraction. 

Now, you want something else. 

You don't bother teasing or playing coy, not when he’s so solidly pressed against you, just begging to be had. Your body rises and falls with every breath he takes, and it’s so visceral, being close enough to touch and taste him, and yet not doing either. 

His neck looks especially delicious under the faint, fluorescent lighting of the TV, and your lips press wetly into the underside of his jaw, sucking delicately as your tongue darts out to taste him. His breath hitches, but he shows no other signs of being affected at all. 

Taking that as your cue to up the ante, you drop your hand onto his lap to tug at his belt, but he catches you before you can make any progress. You tilt your head back to look up at him, brows furrowed in confusion, but he just smirks, eyes still locked on the TV screen.

"You wanted a movie, didn't ya? Thought ya loved this one," he says teasingly. "You can wait a couple hours—I know ya can."

Yeah, you can, but that doesn't mean you want to. He was so into it in the parking lot, so what happened between then and now? You didn't think he liked this movie that much, but apparently you were mistaken. 

Settling back into his side, you try to shift your focus back to the movie, but then the hand on your shoulder starts to play with your hair. His fingers graze your neck, and you're back to squeezing your thighs together in frustration. 

He has to be doing this on purpose. Riling you up so much that once the movie’s finally over, you’ll be putty in his hands. Well, two can play that game. If he won't let you touch him, then you'll just have to touch yourself.

Your eyes flutter closed as you run your fingers down your belly, slipping your hand beneath the waistband of your shorts to drag your fingers up and down your slick folds. God, you didn't realize you were already so wet. You gasp softly as you trail upward toward your clit, but Joel's voice startles you out of your reverie. 

"Should ya be doin' that right now?" 

There's a tinge of warning to his voice, and it burns hot in your veins. You open your eyes slowly and he's finally looking at you, his attention drawn to your fingers still moving under the fabric.

"Well, you weren't gonna. What, are you—," your middle finger brushes against that sensitive bundle of nerves and you bite back a whine, "—you...ngh—gonna stop me?"

The hand that was gently stroking your hair shifts back to firmly grip the back of your neck, squeezing just hard enough to make your fingers stutter. He leans in, his voice dangerously low in your ear.

"No, I'll let ya keep goin'. But you're gonna do exactly what I tell ya to, ya got that?" he murmurs, watching as your hips begin to swivel into your own sweet friction. "'n if you're good for me...," he trails off, eyes dropping down to where he's slowly jerking off his hardening cock through his jeans. "...I'll give ya this. We got a deal?"

You want him inside you so badly, you almost say yes before he's even done talking, but then you have a wicked thought. A counteroffer, of sorts.

"I'll take your deal. But—," you start with a devilish smile, and he raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. "Only if you touch yourself, too. Want you to fuck your hand like you're fucking me."

"Deal," he says without hesitation.

"Deal," you smirk, removing your hand from your pussy for him to shake, your fingers sticky and glistening. 

He takes your proffered hand but, instead of shaking, he wraps his lips around your slick digits, sucking you off each one and groaning at your taste. What you wouldn't give to have that tongue in your mouth. Or buried in your cunt. Pulling off with a lewd pop, he nods at your lap.

"Take your fuckin' pants off. Now."

Shit, he doesn't have to tell you twice. You quickly shimmy out of your shorts and underwear, and wait for his next instructions. You'll be a good girl for him. The best girl he's ever had and ever will.

"Spread 'em. Show me how wet you are for me," he mumbles, kicking your legs apart. 

You spread them as wide as you can. The cool night breeze filtering in through the open window meets your center, and you're suddenly aware of how much wetter you've gotten since you started. It almost makes your mouth water. You don't think you've ever been this turned on by your own body in your life.

Slick coats your thighs, seeping into the couch, and he looks pleased. You can see he wants to touch you just as badly as you want to touch yourself. Your knee bumps into his thigh and he hooks your leg over his, holding you open. 

"Shit, would'ja look at that," he breathes out in awe. "Prettiest pussy I've ever seen."

Your cunt visibly clenches at the praise and he hisses in a breath through his teeth, resting his hand on your thigh so he can lean over your body. He lingers for a moment like he's admiring you laid out for him like this, but then moves a little closer and spits a thick glob of saliva right onto your clit. 

Your jaw drops, a loud gasp torn from your chest when he grabs your hand, using your fingers to gather it up and swirl it around your swollen nub. Shit, if he keeps going like this, you're going to cum and fast. 

Dropping your head back onto his shoulder, you rock into your fingers, slipping through the mess he's made of your pussy, and your body starts to feel like a rubber band about to snap. 

"Wanna taste you so fuckin' bad. Fuck you on my tongue 'til you're nice 'n ready for me," he growls, pressing your fingers harder onto your clit. "S'that what you want? Wanna cum in my mouth?"

You turn to bury your head into the crook of his neck, nodding frantically as you cry into the soothing warmth of his skin. You're going to cum. Fuck, fuck, you're going to cum. Your eyes start to roll back as you feel it crescendo, and then—

Then, he releases your hand, cruelly and unapologetically. 

"Not yet, baby. We both gotta be patient, don't we?" he teases you again, and your eyes snap open.

What the fuck. No, you're not letting him edge you again. It was fun and all at the gym, but you're way too far gone to be playing games right now. 

And how isn't he a total wreck? Both of his hands are on you, even though that wasn't part of the deal, so he can't be taking care of himself.

Your eyes drop down to his lap, and wow. This man has more willpower than you ever could've imagined. He's so hard, you can see the tip of his cock peeking out above the waistband of his pants. And it's leaking everywhere, twitching and angrily dribbling precum all over the fabric. 

He looks...so fucking good like this. Fuck, you want him so bad. But that means getting back on track, and it's obviously on you to make that happen. Clearly, he's more affected by all of this than he made it seem.

"Joel, please, just tell me what to do," you plead. You'll beg if you have to. Whatever it takes for you to finally get what you want.

"Alright, alright," he concedes, taking sympathy on you, likely reaching his limit himself. "'m gonna let you make yourself feel good, baby. Don't'chu worry."

"Great," you grit through your teeth. "Then start by taking your fucking pants off."

He chuckles at his words thrown back at him, but listens, regardless. His boxers and jeans are pulled off in two hard tugs, and his cock bounces against his stomach, thick and wet, and unfairly far from your aching pussy. The hand on your neck moves to gently caress the side of your cheek.

"Gonna start nice 'n slow, ya got that?" he says, biting back a groan as he wraps his fingers around his neglected cock. He starts to pump himself, and more precum leaks out. "Watch me."

But it didn't need to be said. You're already enraptured by the way he strokes himself, slow and steady, swiping his thumb over the head on every upstroke. He's panting softly, trying to keep his hips from jerking up into his fist, but you can see how much effort it's taking not to.

"C'mon, baby. Gimme one finger—your middle finger, all the way in," he commands, his voice as tight as his grip.

You tear your eyes away from him while you run your fingers through your folds, still slick with his saliva and your own desire, and then sink your finger into yourself knuckle by knuckle. It doesn't feel like much, and you both know it, but at least it's something. 

"Now, follow me," he says, watching your hand as intently as you're watching his. 

You rock your finger in and out slowly, just like he said. Because you're his good girl and good girls do what they're told. It’s already a sticky mess, your finger creamier with every thrust, and he groans out his appreciation. 

"Good girl. Add another one. Not too fast, now." 

Finally, you get some real relief. Slipping your index finger in alongside your middle finger, you feel that little bit of stretch you've been aching for and you can't help but whimper.

His lips part, brows furrowing as his hand speeds up. His eyes are locked on where your sopping cunt is sucking in your fingers greedily and, fuck, he's even more of a mess now. Sweat dripping from his temples, chest heaving with the effort of holding himself back. 

So hot. So fucking hot. It's scorching, the way your cunt feels around your fingers as you fuck into yourself a little faster. They're rubbing your walls just right, your palm grazing your clit after every stroke, and his hyper-focused gaze makes it all feel that much better. You want to hear him say it again. For him to tell you how well you’re doing.

"—ngh...i-is this good?" you whine, knowing how pathetic you sound, but forgetting to care.

"Perfect, baby. You're perfect," he rasps, unable to keep his hips from snapping up into his fist as the sweet sounds of your wet squelching reach his ears. "So fuckin' good for me."

Preening hard at his praise, you push a little too deep into yourself and graze something mind-numbing that almost hurts with how good it feels. You cry out, curling your fingers into it again and again as you bury your face back into his neck. His arm tightens around your shoulder and he leans over to press his lips soothingly against your forehead. 

"That's it, baby, just like that. Doin' so well," he groans, lips brushing against your skin. His strokes are frantic now and you know he can’t last much longer. "Need ya to gimme one more. Just one—last one, promise. Then I'll give ya whatever you want."

Nodding quickly, face still cushioned against his shoulder, you add your ring finger, and fucking hell, you’re so full. You stretch your fingers apart, pumping them in and out the best you can, and they drag against that spot—every spot—with how tight you are. But somehow it’s not enough. It’s not Joel’s cock, so it’ll never be enough. 

Everything’s drowned out except for the wet sounds of skin on skin, and Joel’s voice, still just above your brow, talking you through your almost painful pleasure. He’s panting, whispering tender words that you can’t hear so much as feel with those soft, perfect lips.

“…tell me when you’re close, baby. Can’t feel ya, gonna need you to use your words,” he barely chokes out, staving off his orgasm, waiting for you. 

It’s already close, but you’re only teetering, stuck in a constant loop of almost there, and need more. You can’t reach where you need to, but Joel can. So easily and all you have to do is ask. He said he’d give you whatever you wanted.

But you didn’t realize he was already at his limit, and you don’t get the chance to tell him before he’s babbling, delirious with the need to cum.

"'m sorry—fuck, 'm sorry. Need...to—ngh, fuck, need to cum inside you...fill you up...," he moans, and he sounds upset like he can’t help himself, not anymore.

Abruptly, so much quicker than you can fully process, your fingers are yanked out of your cunt and replaced by his cock, and the thrust is so harsh, he hits exactly where you need him to without even trying. The whine building in your chest erupts as a wail as you immediately lock down around him, sending him over the edge with you.

Full. God, how can you feel this full? You’re so unbelievably aware of him cumming inside you and there’s so much, he’s already leaking out of you. And he almost seems angry about it. Your hips are roughly tilted up so he’s fucking down into you, eyes unfocused, and snarling like a wild animal.

And still so mouthy.

“You got no idea how good ya look right now. Fuckin’ glowin’,” he all but slurs, drunk on the idea of keeping his seed inside you. “S’that my baby in you, makin’ ya glow like that?”

"Oh...oh, god, fuck, Joel,” you whimper, your aftershocks still milking him dry. “Christ, y-you trying to knock me up twice?" 

It’s like that alone makes him redouble his efforts. You’ve never seen him like this before, but you like it. Something primal in you wants this as badly as he does.

"Fuck yeah, baby, gonna pump you full'a twins."

Holy shit. You’re not sure if you’re still cumming or if you just came again, but you feel an entirely new rush of pleasure and he hisses out a breath through his teeth like he can feel it. Not long after, sensitivity starts to set in for both of you and he stills, seated deeply inside you, chest heaving and eyes shut tight. 

His hands squeeze where they’ve been aggressively gripping your thighs before he reluctantly pulls out, but he keeps your hips tilted up as he drops to sit between your legs on the cushion below.

“There a reason I can’t lay down like a normal person?” you laugh, wiggling in his grasp. “Joel, come on, put me down. I’m already pregnant.”

“Just gimme a minute,” he mumbles, suddenly sounding so solemn. He turns his head from where it's resting on the side of your knee to kiss your damp skin. “Didn’t know I was knockin’ you up the first time, just…lemme have this, alright?” 

Your eyes soften. How this man can be such a sap after fucking you like that is beyond comprehension, but if he wants this, then you’ll let him have his moment. It’s kind of sweet, anyway.

“Okay,” you reach up to brush your fingertips along his cheek. It's incredible, really, all of the things you see in Joel's eyes right now. That in this single, fleeting gaze, you can see forever. "Put a baby in me.”

SATURDAY

"Can you stay up all night? Fuck me 'til the daylight. 34, 35."

You’re convinced Joel tastes especially good in the mornings. There’s a hint of sweat to his skin, so naturally bitter and heady, maybe even a little tangy. It’s fucking delicious.

And he’s always hard in the morning. His cock is the perfect alarm clock, always reliable and super effective, whether it’s pulsing against your thigh or rutting into your ass. It’s your favorite way to wake up, but there’s usually not enough time to enjoy it to the fullest.

Not with work and Sarah, even Tommy showing up for breakfast unannounced. But it’s Saturday, which means you can keep your lips wrapped around him for as long as you want, make him cum as many times as you want, and taste him to your heart’s content. 

He probably won’t even wake up, at least not right away. Joel sleeps like the dead, especially on the weekends, and it’s been a long week. Even now, as you suck the tip into your wet, very eager mouth and swallow him down halfway, he barely stirs. 

That’s more than okay with you. You’d be happy to lie in bed, head pillowed on his stomach, keeping his cock warm between your lips while you wait. Relishing how fucking good he tastes and how your jaw pleasantly aches as you adjust to accommodate his girth.

But, soon enough, your jaw isn’t the only thing aching. The slick mess you’re making in your underwear right now is getting hard to ignore, but you don’t want to let him go. He’s velvety smooth against your tongue, dribbling salty precum down your throat, and his unconscious body is starting to respond to you more and more with each passing moment. This is your favorite part.

He lets out a soft grunt, twitching into the inside of your cheek, and your efforts become a little more concentrated and a lot more obvious. You try to forget about your soaked underwear and the pleasurable whoosh in your belly in favor of sucking a little harder, letting saliva pool in your mouth as you slurp loudly around the head.

His hips jerk up, surprising you enough to gag you, and that only makes your mouth and pussy wetter, the heat building in your core almost unbearable now. The moan that escapes you sends a drawn-out series of vibrations straight down to his balls that pulls even more noise from him, and your head steadily shifts with the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

He's starting to rut into your mouth, whimpering, and yet somehow still asleep, and it makes you feel powerful to have full control over him like this. To command his pleasure without any interruption or intervention, making him fall apart entirely at your mercy. You kind of hope you can get him to cum like this, to be his alarm clock for once. 

Turns out only half of your wish is granted, but you don't realize it until Joel's fingers are threading into your hair and abruptly tugging you off. He's definitely awake now, but he also definitely didn't cum. Bummer. You try sucking him back into your mouth, but he tugs you harder even as his hips chase you. 

"Joel, what—?" you glare up at him, but upon seeing him, you feel a little bad for your reaction. He looks so sleepy, still a little dazed from his unconventional wake-up call, blinking blearily like he's doing his best to stay awake. Your expression softens. 

"Sorry, got a little carried away," you murmur sheepishly. "But, um, you taste really good, so if you wanna go back to sleep, I can just keep—"

You're cut off by a hand trailing down your body, following the curve of your ass to dip inside you. He smears the moisture around your entrance, pushing two fingers into you, then pulling out to hold them up to his face. You watch him, enraptured by the way he inspects your wetness, how it strings between his middle and ring fingers. 

Then, he surprises you even further by sucking them into his mouth, his eyes rolling back as he groans around them before slipping them out totally clean. His cock jerks next to your face and you belatedly realize you're drooling.

"Fuck, so do you." He's fully awake now, eyes clear, but dark. Hungry.

"Huh?" you ask dumbly. 

"Ya taste really good," he mumbles, his voice low and so sexy, still thick with sleep. You feel your cheeks heat up. Oh. 

"C'mere, baby," he tells you, patting his chest. You crawl up his body and lean up to kiss him, assuming he wants you to taste yourself in his mouth, but he stops you. "Other way, sweetheart."

Your brows furrow in confusion as you try to work out exactly what he's asking for. Even though you've been awake and riling him up for what feels like hours, your brain clearly hasn't caught up yet. His eyes are unreadable, fingers tense at his sides. Like he's just itching for you to understand.

"Need you to figure this out—know you can do it," he rasps needily. "C'mon, smart girl, what do I want?"

And then it hits you. He's not asking you to sit on his chest, not really. He wants you to sit on his face. Needs you to. Sprawled out on your hands and knees where his spit-slick cock would be just within reach, bobbing temptingly with every breath he takes.

God, you want to. The idea of Joel fucking you with his tongue while he's fucking into your mouth makes you clench so hard it hurts. You bite your lip, meeting his expectant gaze.

Okay. Okay, you can definitely do that. Especially when he looks so...eager. It also has the double advantage of combining mind-blowing sex with a well-rounded breakfast. You have a feeling you'll both be full after this.

"Just so I have this straight—," you splay your fingers across his stomach, trailing down to wrap tightly around his length and tug upward until a single, perfect bead of precum leaks from his slit, "—you still want my mouth here."  

Your eyes stay locked on his as you bend down to lick it off, lingering to suckle the tip and tease your tongue just under the ridge. When he doesn't immediately tug you off, you take him deeper, preening at his harsh intake of breath. 

You don't want to press your luck, but he tastes fucking incredible, somehow even better than he did earlier. Maybe it's the way he's watching you, captivated and attuned to your every movement. 

He’s already starting to buck into you, shallowly, now an active participant in his own pleasure. His knuckles are nearly white with how hard he’s fisting the sheets, teeth gritting as he fights the urge to rush you. 

But his patience is wearing thin. Just a few thrusts later, he tugs you off with what feels like dwindling restraint, and your dazed, glassy eyes don't do much to help.

You look wrecked, and you know it. Lips swollen and slick with saliva, your lashes wet with unshed tears from the effort of taking him. He reaches out to trace your bottom lip with his thumb, hissing when you catch the tip between your teeth.

“Yeah...ngh—yeah, keep doin' that. Suckin' me just like that," he breathes raggedly. "And sit that pretty pussy right here—"

Then, without warning, he's suddenly manhandling you into position, throwing your leg over his head, and maneuvering you until you can feel him panting heavily against your cunt.

“Down, baby, let's go. Wanna taste ya. Now.”

Blunt nails dig into your skin and your hips stutter, dipping low enough for your clit to brush his bottom lip. It’s enough for him to get a taste of you. For him to finally snap and decide he’s done waiting.

Joel yanks you onto his face, licking a wide stripe from your clit to your entrance, his tongue immediately finding a home in your pussy. The motion knocks you off balance and you fall forward, his cock just inches from your mouth.

Bracing a hand on his stomach, you wrap your other around him and he groans throatily in response, the sound deep and muffled as he licks into you with increased fervor. And his noises only grow in volume, vibrating against your folds and sending jolt after jolt into your very sensitive bundle of nerves. 

His mouth feels so fucking hot, and the coarseness of his beard burns, making it hard to concentrate on what you’re desperately trying to accomplish. You’re already panting, hiccuped breaths puffing teasingly and cruelly against him until he’s pulsing in your grip. 

The promise of him throbbing just like that down your throat makes you focus just long enough to take him back into your mouth, intent on sucking him down as far as your body will let you. But, by now, any sense of self-control he might’ve had before is totally gone. His hips buck clean off the mattress at the tightness of your lips around him, and he all but chokes you with the force of it, the size of him. 

And, fuck, you love it. The way his stomach tenses, his thighs trembling beneath you. You can’t tell where your body ends and his begins, not when he’s fucking into you every single way he can. His tongue spears into you and your pussy rhythmically squeezes him every time his cock grazes the back of your throat. 

You’re audibly gagging around him and it’s filthy as hell, but you can tell how much it’s turning him on. Christ, can you tell. Maybe you were genuinely worried you’d suffocate him at first but, now, you probably couldn’t stop yourself from grinding into his face even if you tried. And that's exactly what he wants.

"...Harder—mmph, c'mon, baby," you feel him groan into your cunt, urging your hips even lower. "—ride me harder, harder."

How—he...fuck, he's...? Everywhere. He's everywhere. You struggle to do what he told you, to use him for your mounting pleasure, but it doesn't fucking matter anymore. You're helpless but to let him do whatever he wants to you.

Joel’s devouring you. Roughly grabbing your ass, moaning pathetically into you as he pulls your cheeks apart for better access. It’s almost like you can feel him swelling between your lips, and you try to pull up for just a second of respite. 

But, then, he abruptly shifts. His mouth lowers to suck gently, yet fleetingly on your clit twice, then he licks a wide stripe back up to your entrance. Except, he doesn’t stop there. Instead, he continues his path up, gathering your wetness as he goes, and swirls his tongue around your other hole before sucking hard. And it sends you reeling.

Jesus fucking Christ, that’s new. Fuck, and it’s—so...so good. It’s indescribable, how he feels right now. How he sounds—slurping you up, whimpering desperately like he’ll cum at any moment. 

And he’s loud, drawn-out moans escaping from so deep within his chest, they climb their way from that tight ring of muscle straight up your spine, where you can vaguely feel his arm snaking around you to claw at your back. You can’t think anymore—you’re done thinking. 

Now, it’s just him trapping you in place, the three fingers he’s suddenly pumping into your spasming pussy, and his cock, now abandoned and leaking on his stomach. It’s so much, bordering on too much, and you can’t hold yourself up anymore.

Your head drops unceremoniously onto the puddle of precum and it smears across your cheek as his hips urgently roll into nothing. But you don’t even notice. Not even when your eyes roll back and you start to babble deliriously, your orgasm building quickly in a place between your legs you can’t even begin to explain.

“Joel…JoelJoelJoel—I…you…,” you slam a hand down on the mattress as your thighs start to quake violently. “…cumming—‘m cumming, fuck—fuck.”

It doesn’t just crash over you, it rocks you to your core. Everything below your waist locks down, squeezing his fingers so tight, you swear you can feel each individual knuckle. Your jaw drops, parting around what feels like a silent scream, but you can’t be totally sure because soon, Joel is groaning so gutturally, you can’t focus on anything else.

At least, until he cums completely untouched right into your face. And he cums hard. Thick spurts cover your lips and chin, landing haphazardly on your cheek, and your tongue darts out to taste him, salty and sated and perfect. Exactly what you've been waiting for.

His thighs tense intermittently, a few more drops dribbling out of his slit, and you crane your neck, letting your tongue flutter over his head. As it pulses weakly against your lips, Joel gasps out your name, burying his face in your swollen pussy again. 

Lazily, you swivel your hips into his mouth despite the extreme overstimulation, hiccuping soft moans and nearly succumbing to the easy pleasure. He gently caresses your clit, enveloping you with a dextrous warmth that simultaneously makes you jolt and crave the sensation. 

Neither of you want to stop. Truthfully, you'd let him do this to you all day, drawing orgasm after orgasm from each other the way you have been all week. But exhaustion's starting to set in and you're not sure your body can physically take any more.

Joel slaps your ass and you huff out a soft laugh, deciding it's time to separate so you can get cozy with him again. The perfect end to your surprisingly athletic, lazy Saturday morning in bed.

“You gonna stop anytime soon, or do you just live there now?” you pant teasingly, grimacing as you slowly lift your head off his stomach. 

Shit, you’re a mess. You’re practically stuck to him, his cum drying on his stomach and your face, and you can feel the stickiness of his saliva mixed with your juices dripping between your legs. His hand trails from your ass down to your inner thigh, painting mindless patterns on your sullied skin.

"Sure don't seem like ya want me to stop," he chuckles tiredly, managing to suck your clit chastely one last time before you jerk your hips away. 

His head finally drops onto the pillow below him, and he lets out a disgruntled whine when you toss your leg over his head, plopping down on the bed beside him.

"Yeah, well, one of us has to have a little self-control or we're not leaving this bed today. And you, uh, look like you could use some tidying up,” you snort, scratching your fingertips against his already crusting beard. He mimics the motion on your leg, and you swat his hand away, rolling your eyes fondly.

It would be disgusting if it were literally anyone else but Joel but, here in this bed—your bed—it feels so natural. Like it’s totally normal that you’d be covered in each other’s releases, having a silly conversation on a Saturday morning as if you’ve done this all your lives. 

“Might wanna look in the mirror, baby. I’d be more’n happy to keep lookin’ at ya like this, but—,” he leans up to wipe a streak of cum off your bottom lip. His hand lingers, cupping your damp cheek, and you instinctively lean into his touch. “—you probably need more cleanin’ up than I do.” 

You eye each other for a few seconds, taking in how truly disgusting you both are, before bursting into fits of laughter. You’re smiling so hard, your skin tugs under his drying release and that makes you laugh even harder.

“Alright, alright, filthy girl,” he jokes, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “Lay down, I’ll take care of ya.”

He sits up and slowly slides off the bed, yanking your legs out from under you as he goes. Still giggling, you flop onto the damp, cotton sheets with an oomph and immediately take the opportunity to stretch out your sore limbs. You nuzzle into your pillow with a soft mewl, practically purring as you try to soak up the warm morning rays streaming through the gaps in the curtains.

You glance over at Joel as you continue to nest like a gigantic cat, but he's already watching you, paused in the doorway to the bathroom. His eyes rove appreciatively down your naked body and you observe him quietly, deciding you'll let him stare for as long as he wants to. There's no rush. Sure, you're still a mess and probably have the worst bedhead imaginable, but despite it all, he makes you feel beautiful. 

When he returns with a cool, damp washcloth a few minutes later, he's much cleaner and you're only a little bummed that the evidence of your explosive morning is gone. He's gentle and attentive as he wipes the remaining streaks off your cheeks and chin, and bends down to kiss you once your face is officially cum-free. 

Okay, maybe you lied earlier. This is your favorite part. Joel taking care of you, choosing to express his affection through his actions and touch. You sigh into his mouth, melting into the first real kiss you've shared since waking up, and it takes his tongue tangling with yours for you to realize he tastes minty. He's always so delicious.

Trailing further down, he wipes his release off your stomach, pressing his lips to each freshly-cleaned inch of skin, and then crawls between your legs to wash away the mess he made of your thighs. Your eyes start to flutter closed at the repetitive shift in sensation, his hands lulling you to sleep, until the washcloth hits the floor with a dull splat.

Well, that was over way too soon. But you quickly forgive the horrible transgression once his warm, welcome body sinks into the bed next to you, and his tousled head of hair and beard nuzzle into your stomach.

He mouths at your skin, his lips pressing sweetly around your belly button, and it tickles, making you laugh as you thread your fingers through his curls and scratch his scalp affectionately. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, his hand splays warm and broad next to his head. His expression shifts and he looks unexpectedly pensive. Uncertainty creeps into your chest before you can logic it away, even though you know without a doubt that he wants this. His lips begin to move against your stomach and it takes a second for you to realize he's saying something, almost too quietly for you to hear. But when it finally registers, all of that fear completely fades away.

"Hey there, kiddo. It's me, your daddy," he murmurs, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin as soothing as his words. He has the tiniest smile on his face, and it's growing wider by the second. "We're all so excited to meet ya. Me, your momma, your big sister, your uncle...we already love ya so damn much."

The room starts to blur into a wash of colors and figures, and shit, you're crying. But how could you not be? He's...talking to your tiny clump of cells. To your baby—who can't possibly be bigger than a pumpkin seed—with so much adoration, it makes your chest ache. 

You're trying so hard not to tremble or sniffle or breathe too heavily so you don't startle him, but that doesn't exactly work out. A few stray tears make their way up your nose, and you snort around your next inhale. Classic, clumsy you.

Joel's head shoots up like he's been caught and his cheeks flush that beautiful shade of burgundy you love so much. You don't want him to stop, but he looks so embarrassed like he thinks he's done something wrong. That couldn't be further from the truth. 

"I'm just emotional from the hormones, it's totally fine. I'm totally fine," you give him a reassuring, watery grin. "Keep going. I think they like the sound of daddy's voice."

He chuckles and reaches up to wipe your tears away, gently cradling your face in his hand before he slides it back down to your belly. He continues where he left off, just like you asked, but you have a sneaking suspicion he would've anyway. Joel's just one of those men who was born to be a dad. It comes as naturally to him as breathing.

“Heard that? That's your momma, kiddo. She's....well. She's somethin' else. Strongest, most lovin', person I've ever known and fuckin' sharp as a tack," he smiles up at you, eyes crinkling and bright as the goddamn sun. "And she's beautiful. She even sounds beautiful, don't she? Hopin' you'll come out just like her."

You scoff affectionately, shaking your head as you share a look that tells you he knows exactly what you're thinking. If this baby pops out without his brown eyes and curls, you're going to be so pissed. You teasingly tug his hair, willing him to take it back, but he won't. If your baby's getting anything from the two of you, it's stubbornness.

Then, before you can blink, there's a sudden tone shift. His hand finds yours, lacing your fingers together, and he turns his head so he's speaking directly into your belly. An exchange just between a father and his child.

"Wanna know a secret? S'just between you and me, though, alright? Don't go tellin' your momma," he says nosing into your soft skin, his voice barely above a whisper. You watch him curiously, squeezing his hand to get his attention, but his focus remains on your stomach. "'m gonna ask your momma to marry me. Think she'll say yes?"

Your heart stops and it feels like all of the air's been sucked out of the room. That's—fuck...that's one hell of a secret to share with your baby. You can't even imagine the kind of trouble they're going to get up to if they're already keeping secrets like that. 

His eyes flit up to meet yours, but they're not questioning or expectant. He isn't wondering what your answer will be. He just looks peaceful. Blanketed in an easy calm because he already knows what you're going to say. Of course, he does. 

Propping his chin on your hip, Joel quietly observes your reaction while he strokes the back of your hand with the rough pad of his thumb. You wonder what he sees on your face and in your body language right now because you're positive it's not the elation or excessive joy anyone else would expect.

You're not squealing or jumping up and down, or whatever newly engaged people usually do. No, that blanket of easy calm is more than big enough for both of you, and it feels safe and warm, just like you always knew this moment would. 

And you wouldn't want it any other way. Lying here together after possibly the most eventful week of your lives, filled with so much sex and love and family, and deciding that you want to keep doing this together, over and over. Forever.

You guide his hand up to your lips, pressing a firm, lingering kiss to his palm, before placing it over your racing heart. That tiny smile returns to his face and he crawls up your body so he can kiss you properly, conveying his love better than words ever could. 

It's still way too early for your baby to kick or give their daddy any sort of sign that they heard his question, but you're sure they wouldn't mind if you answered for them. It's a no-brainer, anyway.

"Yeah, I do."

thanks for reading! 💕

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Our boy Tommy is so much on my mind lately, I don't know if it's because Gabe is so active on social media but man, I just want more of him.

You don't by any chance have any thoughts of what transpired with Tommy between when he left the fireflies and when Joel and Ellie run into him in Jackson, do you? Like the time period had to be somewhat significant if he had time to find Jackson, meet Maria, fall in love with her, and get married. In the video game, he also took a trip down to Texas to get some of Sarah's pictures from Joel's house.

Hi hi! I would love to eventually write what I think happened to Tommy in those years. In Driftersverse, he left Joel and Tess in late 2009, so I have about fourteen years of time to play with. I've dot-pointed some of my thoughts below - thank you for asking, I have no idea if I will ever write these so it's nice to share.

Some spoilers for Tommy activities in TLOU 2, nothing major:

Tommy went south from Indianapolis with Marlene, Lachie, Iotama and the other Fireflies.

Canon has Tommy meeting Eugene Lindon and I've not managed to work him into Drifters yet, but he's there.

Regardless, he had nightmares about that for years and still has them in Jackson.

Tommy, Lachie and Iotama joined a Firefly cell in Denver.

Following canon, he bombed checkpoints while fighting FEDRA, killing innocents, and tortured a general. The irony of this was not lost on Tommy, but he told himself that it was different because it was for a bigger cause than himself.

At some point, Iotama, Lachie and Tommy went through Texas to reach the Firefly research facility on Padre Island. During the journey, Tommy and Lachie went through Austin. Tommy's house was gone - firebombed - but Joel's was still standing. I reference this somewhere, I think it's in Lachie's chapter of The Ensemble.

Joel does not know that Lachie was ever in his house.

Joel was humanised to Lachie a bit more after that point. Had that not happened, he may not have been as amenable to helping Tess find him again in 2003.

Tommy left the Fireflies the next day. Seeing the old house, the photos, trying to deal with what he'd done in Denver and the violence he'd committed since leaving Joel caught up with him. This was when the Firefly fairy tale fell apart for Tommy and he stopped believing in it all. He left without a word to anyone.

I haven't really turned my mind to how he came upon Jackson and Maria yet.

He probably joined some other people going north because otherwise, I can't really reckon with him willingly going that way again.

He kind of went where the breeze blew him for awhile. He tried to do good deeds to atone, but just kept getting screwed over and having to kill to survive. 🥺

But I feel like most of those 14 years he was with the Fireflies. He had sacrificed so much to join them - separating from Joel - and he was determined to make it work. He stayed with them for years, lying to himself about the righteousness of the cause, trying to make it worthy. It wasn't something he gave up on after just a few.

He also refused so many promotions within the Fireflies. Both Iotama and Lachie outranked him after only a few years.

Thank you for asking! It's nice to get my thoughts out of my head. <3

#driftersverse #asks #tlou #tlou fanfic #tommy miller

[impostorsshow]

Hello hello, am intrigued by your time travel MCC daydream thing and would love to read more rambles about it.

Who all are the adults in charge there? I think you mentioned Scott and Joel and Lizzie? Anyone else in mind?

And does time traveled Grian get to experience a respawn himself during this? Totally agree he'd be a top tier survivalist buuuuut...

HEHE best thing ever to wake up to in the wee hours of....12:33 pm I'm such an early bird I know

Kay I typed out a really long nonsensical ramble so this time I'm just going to go down the list of S3 players and anyone I don't specifically mention in these two lists is someone I've either never heard of before or can't decide

Adults: Aimsey, BadBoyHalo, CaptainPuffy, cubfan135, Eret, GoodTimesWithScar, Impulse, LDShadowLady, Mythical Sausage, Philza, Ranboo, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans

Children: 5up, CaptainSparkles, ConnerEatsPants, Falsesymmetry, Geminitay, Grian [duh], Fwhip, InTheLittleWood [that's Martyn right?], PearlescentMoon, Shubble, SolidarityGaming, TommyInnit

I specifically think that while Ranboo would be good daydream fuel, I am unfortunately bound by the logic of "nahh he really wouldn't opt in would he" and that Grian on the flip side did it because all of his friends kept gushing about how cute he would be and Grian was 80% sure he would win dispite coming from a permadeath world.

And yes, grian dies while practicing parkour, and and gets disqualified from participating like 2 weeks before the event, which is pretty damn long because I've set the beginning of the daydream as 4 months. At that point he had gotten accustomed to other people dying, but slipping up and falling for the first time into the void, being so sure he was going to die and then suddenly waking up in a bed but still feeling vertigo from falling was entirely different, and Etho [who at this point in time had been set as a teammate for Grian] had to calm him down, and later told Scott that Grian couldn't play in the event.

The rest of Grians time is spent relaxing since he didn't have to worry about dying [he does die at least 3 more times, but most people are being careful around him and hes both grateful for it and despises it], and doing way too much exposition because YHS Grian has an idea that his childhood is definitely not a normal or relatively good one, but hasn't had enough experiences outside of Tokyo since enrolling in Acedemi high to really draw the line on what's like actually kind of horrifying. Specifically he's hesitant to share that he killed people because Grian doesn't want to get outcasted or be seen as a murderer [who would], but everyone around him can't even imagine having to live with the guilt that you permakilled another player, since murder is a relatively light topic and punished with a slap on the wrist for most worlds

Oh I'd also like to add a few logistics and world building things, the biggest one is that anyone who opted into this event [MCC Time Warp maybe? I'm bad at names] was able to choose at what time their past versions would be, and most chose around 14 - 18, though a few chose to be 19 or even 20, and obviously people like Tommy went way under the average because he thought it would be fun and more chaotic, but Scott refused to let anyone chose under 10 years old. When the event is over, not much memory carried over, being incredibly foggy and getting embarrassed by their friends telling them what happened while they were regressed. I'm thinking the actual way they get them travelificated is either some redstone magic and basic time travel box y'know, something that will read a players code to see what year they can grab from based on how old the player is, or something like a more stable recreation of the rift since this daydream is very Grian centric, and the rift will just intrinsically know when to pull a player from when they step through.

Teams for this event are decided about a month before the event, Scott figuring that after 3 months they would have surely figured out exactly who wasn't mentally or physically able to compete [he was wrong] and by the actual event, 8 players have been disqualified. 30 players were time traveled because they expected people to need backup players, and each team is composed of 2 adults and 2 children/teens, with the teams mainly being balanced for safety rather than skill level and the younger kids getting placed with the most responsible adults or a much older teen teammate.

I had more to say but I keep forgetting and now it's 2 pm so I'm just going to hit post

#talk talks #yhs grian #grian #oh wait is there an mcc tag #minecraft championships #original ranch dip #waking up to this ask actually made me so happy anon i fuckin love talking about my daydreams and this is one of my more easily explainable #daydreams.....ive made literal diagrams and theories about how my own fnaf daydreams fit together its hell. fun hell but hell #ask #also yippee ive switched to the blue version of my pfp finally

[mondscheinprinzessin]

What are the scenarios.. what is the fic idea.. hoe can you possibly hurt aleksi by letting him play drums?

Why are you immediately thinking I'm gonna hurt him?😂 I have a few fics where is he is fine too, you know.

Well, fic idea was just imagine young Blind Channel, fresh of the start, not long in the game yet. But! They’ve managed to score a few smaller festivals, and this could really be their breakthrough to get more people to listen to them than just their friends and family and classmates.

But of course what has to happen one of them falls ill and that is Tommi. Maybe breaks his leg, idk, either way sorry Tommi.

He definitely can’t play, and the band is bumped, thinking well okay, we can try next year, but Tommi’s like no no, it’s fine, you can go without me, we will find last-minute replacement.

So they do this call to find a drummer for the season and after a few days it’s looking hopeless, it’s devastating how bad they all are (after being used to Tommi-bear it’s hard to find someone who can live up to it).

And then they almost laugh hysterically when his boy comes into their garage, this 16 year old guy looking like he’s barely 14, bleached hair with a red bandana around it, a neon shirt (Joel wants to scratch his eyes out at the sight) and dares to say he’s there to try out for the position of their drummer.

They almost send him away on the spot but honestly, they don’t have anything to lose and if that boy wants to make an impression, why shouldn’t they let him.

And impressing them he is! Looking so tiny behind the drumset in comparison to Tommi, he’s swinging his arms around like his hair is flying around, and he’s banging it out for a full 4 minutes (even picking out one of their fav Linkin Park songs to cover) and amazed as they are they immediately take him into the band.

He needs a make over of course before they let him on the stage with them, for the sake of the band image.

Okay, the tiniest speck of hurt: At the end of the string of festivals, as Aleksi had enjoyed it so much, he’s so sad that he has to go leave them be their band again. But as they had gotten to love Aleksi so much, they can’t just let him go. And in the time they got to know each other they couldn’t come around noticing his DJ skills, so why not just upgrade him from drummer to percussion and samples and he can stay in the band, yay!

#answered #phew that needed to get out #itsfandomsgalore #can't believe all this has gone through my head in a minute after seeing the video #fic idea

[insomniamamma]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

Interesting. I think The Shitpost™️ skewed last year’s results. I’m going to talk a little about the fics, and let the other posts speak for themselves.

1. 375 notes - Mar 14 2023

I've seen a bunch of back and forth about whether or not Joel made the right decision in saving Ellie at the expense of a cure...

2. 330 notes - Apr 19 2023

ok, I haven't seen anyone mention it yet, but can we talk about Bo-Katan for a second? When the light cruiser was falling into...

3. 167 notes - May 9 2023

In The Light They Both Look The Same: Joel Miller x F!reader -- This was an odd one for me, as I don’t write a whole lot of smut and I never in a million years thought I would write a sex worker!reader, but here we are. This was one of those ideas that sunk it’s claws in and made me do something about it.

4. 113 notes - Jan 5 2023

Closing Time: Marcus Pike x F!reader -- The first story for my Year of Kisses challenge and my first time writing for sweet Marcus. He would be the perfect man to rescue you from a shitty New Year’s Eve.

5. 104 notes - Apr 27 2023

Tessellation: Cee and Ezra -- Another one for the Year of Kisses. This is mostly about Cee and her memories of Damon and her mother, reaching back to a time when she was cared for to care for Ezra in turn.

6. 84 notes - Sep 25 2023

Gravity: Ezra x f!reader -- *slaps this fic* I can fit so much yearning in this bad boy. For the Year of Kisses. Takes place before the events of the movie. I had a blast writing the banter between these two. It was fun writing Ezra with a reader who will flirt right back.

7. 75 notes - Jul 23 2023

Circle, Circle: Dieter Bravo X f!reader -- I thought this was going to be a romance, I really did, but these two just decided that they are best friends and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. 

8. 62 notes - Feb 8 2023

Glory: Ezra x F!reader -- A Prickle’verse fic written for my year of kisses. A look at Ezra and Artichoke’s relationship. New love vs old. I love these two.

9. 58 notes - Jan 14 2023

Ribbons & Wings: Ezra x f!reader w/Cee -- A Prickle’verse fic. Soft found family fun. Who doesn’t love playing in the snow?

10. 51 notes - Sep 28 2023

So like, why are we picking apart how Pedro Pascal ties his shoes of all things? Or the fact that he seems to rotate the same...

Created by TumblrTop10

#tumblrtop10 #thank you for reading #and commenting #and putting up with my nonsense

[andvys]

Longing (part 13)

Warnings: angst, some fluff

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Author’s note: this chapter is kinda short but I still wanted to give you guys something so here you go 💕 next chapter might take a while tho, I’m not sure yet.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Ellie answered, running her hand up and down your arm. You were still laying on the couch, naked under the thin blanket. You were fully on top of her, your head on her chest.

“Is that ‘chemical burn’ a bite?” You asked looking up at her.

“Yeah, you put the pieces together huh?” She asked, looking down on you. Nodding your head, “kinda always thought this story was bullshit but I didn’t think that it could be a bite from an infected.” Tracing her tattoo.

“Do you wanna know the story?” She asked, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Ellie.” You said, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“I want to.” She said, rubbing your back softly.

“Alright.”

She began telling you about Riley, she first told you the story of their friendship and how she always had a crush on her. It was cute hearing her talk about her teenage years. Comparing them to yours, they seemed normal, your teenage years were brutal, you were forced to do things, horrible things. She told you about her and Joel, how they met and bonded over time and then she told you about what happened at the hospital, what Joel did to get her out of there and how he lied to her about it, you never knew what happened between them but now you understood.

You got why she was angry at him for keeping something like that from her but you didn’t agree with her opinion on this. You knew the fireflies, you knew what they did and you sure as hell didn’t support what they were willing to do to get a vaccine. Killing an innocent girl for a vaccine that didn’t even have a guarantee that it could work, seemed wrong to you.

Ellie looked down at, she wanted to know what was going through your head. You didn’t say anything yet and you seemed to be deep in thought, processing all the information you just got.

Looking up at her, you leaned in pecking her lips softly. “Can I be honest with you?” You asked, stroking her cheek.

“Of course.”

“You won’t agree with me on this but what Joel did.. it was right.” Furrowing her brows at you she went to say something but you didn’t let her. “There was no guarantee that it would’ve worked. My dad was a firefly.. h-he told me some of the horrible things they’ve done to people. How they experimented on them and even turned them into those things just to see if they’re new ‘cure’ would work. Ever since the outbreak, they’ve been promising people a cure and yet they always come out empty handed. You being immune, has got nothing to do with a cure, your blood might be more advanced or something, maybe there are more like you around the world and maybe in the future most people will be immune.” She seemed to process your words, not knowing what to say, she looked up at the ceiling.

“And Joel, he loved you ellie. He would’ve done anything for you. He decided that it wasn’t worth to live in a ‘better world’ knowing that you weren’t a part of it. He was okay with living in this horrible world as long as you’re alive and well I would’ve done the same thing if I was him.” She looked at you, eyes glistening with tears.

“Ellie I’d rather spent my life living in a world where there’s a possibility that I could die out there every time I go out than living in a peaceful world knowing that you don’t even get to be a part of it.” You said, wiping her tears away, you kissed her cheek. She couldn’t believe that you’d rather live in this hell with her than even thinking about the possibility of living a safe and healthy life, without her.

“I let him down.” She whispered, letting more tears fall. “And I never got the chance to forgive him.”

She was feeling guilt. You knew this ugly feeling all to well and you wouldn’t let it destroy her. She was suffering for having treated Joel bad all these years but beating herself up for it wouldn’t bring him back.

“He knows Ellie.” You whispered, hugging her. You felt her pain, you knew exactly what she was going through.

“Joel loved you like his own daughter, no matter what. He wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like that okay?” Grabbing her face in your hands. “Don’t do this to yourself Ellie, it’s easy to lose yourself in this darkness so fight it, no matter what.” Wiping her tears away, you pressed a kiss on her cheek. “I’m here with you.”

“Thank you babe.” Hugging you close to her, she kissed her forehead. You knew what she was going through right now, you knew because you felt like that too. Ellie couldn’t forgive herself for the way she treated Joel and you couldn’t forgive yourself for saving Abby.

You always tried to do the right thing, helping wherever you could, helping whoever you could and yet you felt like you were a bad person. You saved Joel’s killer. You saved a boy you shouldn’t have saved when you were 14 years old. You always tried saving everyone and in the process of doing so, you started losing yourself.

You realized most people you saved ended up being bad and you’d have to kill them in the end. Abby would be no exception. You were going to kill her, you promised yourself that. For Joel.

You still had nightmares of Joel blaming you for his death before killing you. You knew it wasn’t real, you knew it was your mind making it up because of the guilt you were feeling. This wasn’t Joel, he would never blame you for anything, let alone kill you but it still made you feel bad. It was exhausting and you were tired all the damn time. Your mind either plagued your with nightmares or with Joel’s death, you weren’t sure how long you could keep going like that but you had to stay strong for Ellie, you acted like you were fine, you didn’t show her how weak you actually felt. You had to pull through at least until Abby was dead, you owed this to her, you owed this to Joel.

Waking up it was still dark out. Both you and Ellie fell asleep after your conversation. Looking down at her, she was fast asleep, breathing softly, her arm was around you, keeping you close to her in her sleep, you’d love to stay like that with her for a while longer but you still had to check out the rest of the theater, so you got up carefully making sure you wouldn’t wake her up. Putting your clothes on, you looked at Ellie one more time before going further inside the theater, to see what you would find.

You went up the stairs, and grabbed whatever you could find that would be useful later. You thought about last night. You weren’t sure if what you and Ellie did was right, you wanted her but you had to admit to yourself that it was an act of frustration. You were on the road for weeks, facing bad people, infected and what not, life wouldn’t let you catch a break and the minute you had time to relax you and Ellie used it to forget about everything else for a while, it helped but it wasn’t the right time. You didn’t regret it, not at all. You enjoyed every second of it and would do it again but maybe at a more appropriate time. You just hoped Ellie wouldn’t regret it.

You found an old radio and decided to try and fix it after you got the generator started. It took you a while but you finally managed to fix it. Listening in on them you found some stuff out that would definitely be useful to you. Sitting on the floor you looked at the map and then at the Polaroids, grabbing the one with Abby and the guy named Owen, you looked at it. Deep in thought you didn’t hear Ellie come inside until she said your name softly. Turning too look at her, you smiled at her. “Hey.”

“Hey babe”. Sitting down next to you. “You good?” She asked, searching for the look of regret on your face. She woke up with you gone and she feared that you changed your mind about her and felt bad for what you two did.

“I am, you?” You asked, glancing at her quickly before looking down again. Feeling a little shy under her gaze.

“Me too.” She said, nervously rubbing her neck she looked at you, blushing at the marks around your neck, it was covered with hickeys and bruises. “Listen (y/n) you don’t- you don’t regret it do you?” Her question making you snap your head to the side, to look at her.

“No! No, god no Ellie.” You said, staring into her eyes now, intertwining your fingers with hers. Hating the fact that you made her feel like you regretted having sex with her.

Breathing out, she felt relieved at your words. For a second she thought you’d go back to the way you used to be a few weeks ago. Moving closer she kissed your temple before looking down at the map.

“I see you fixed the radio.. did you hear something?” She asked, taking polaroid of Abby and Owen in her hand looking at it.

You started explaining to her what you found out and where you’d have to go today, showing her on the map while talking about the WLF’s.

“We have to find Jesse.” You said, looking at the map in worry. You had no idea where he went and you didn’t know where to start looking for him.

“Do you think we should go back to the serevena hotel?” Ellie asked, noticing the concerned look on your face.

“I.. I don’t know. He wouldn’t be there anymore I think.” You said, sighing. “I don’t know what to do, I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m worried too but I’m sure he’s fine. Tommy’s out there as well, who knows maybe they ran into each other already.” Ellie said, shrugging.

“I hope so.” You whispered, grabbing the map off the floor you stuffed it in your backpack. “Should we get going?” You asked, standing up.

Ellie looked up at you, frowning slightly, she was worried about what you were going to be facing today, she didn’t want you to be in danger but she knew you sure as hell wouldn’t sit back and wait for her here.

“Yeah.” She said, getting up.

Nodding your head you turned around to go out the door but a hand pulled you back. Facing Ellie again, she pulled you closer hands on your cheeks she leaned in pressing her lips against yours softly. Sighing into the kiss you closed your eyes, kissing her back with your arms around her neck. Enjoying this moment before you’d go out into this shitty world.

Pulling away from each other, you opened your eyes, gazing into her eyes you pecked her lips once more. “Alright let’s go.” You whispered, grabbing her hand. “Yeah”. Squeezing your hand she followed you out.

You didn’t know what was going to happen today. You didn’t know what kinds of threats you’d be facing but you knew that you’d keep Ellie safe and she would keep you safe.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams #tlou imagines #tlou ellie

[scorched-light]

Here is my The Last of Us Part 2 review for anyone who is interested to know about the leaks and if the story was done any justice. The answer is the leaks were basically on point and no. No it was not. Spoilers below, don't read on if you're after a spoiler free review. Final warning: End of Game Spoilers for The Last of Us Part 2!!! Do not read if you don't want spoilers!

Okay. As someone who adores the first game, it pains me to say this but I'm so disappointed with this overpriced horror show. A complete deconstruction of the first game and the characters you developed a connection to therein. Just a complete brutality to basically every character new and old, and the whole franchise's reputation.

Joel announcing his name to a group of strangers he already seemed suspicious of despite knowing that people could be looking for him after what he did was so forced and out of character. This man hit a guy with his truck on the off chance that he might be faking his injuries. He was always super cautious, wary of strangers, and aware of his surroundings.

Ellie walking in on Joel getting beaten to death, GUN IN HAND, and not immediately shooting Abby was also incredibly ooc. Even if she was shocked, this is the girl who shot a man at age 14 to save Joel, here she charges in through the door instead of shooting when she's had years worth of experience shooting first and asking questions later. A lot of the ooc stuff she does after his death is excusable by her obvious trauma up until the ending, at least, but it's still bad writing.

Poor writing, not just in the overall story but also in terms of the characters, is literally used as a gratuitous stepping stone (AKA a shameless excuse) to get to all of the brutal, gorey violence. Not to mention it ends in a bleak way with no silver lining at all. Compare that to the way the first one, while bleak in nature still had its nice moments. Its moments of "ya know what maybe this hellscape is worth sticking around for." It made you feel things. The giraffe scene? Running out of the hospital holding Ellie as Joel gently, desperately tells her she's okay? Beautiful, complexly emotional moments But this game? I'd get more emotional fulfillment shoving fingernail clippings up my ass hole.

Don't get me wrong, I expected it to be bleak. The tone of the game is post-apocalypse. It revolves around death and the ugliness of man and yes yes it's all very grim. That kind of prepares you for how this isn't going to be a totally happy story. But everything they built up and established in the first game is just burned to the ground.

All the gameplay is basically the same as the first with some exploration buffs and NPC tweeks, companion AI feels clunkier now but a lot of the interactions between your people and between enemies outside of cutscenes feels very fluid and natural. That said, a lot of the stuff that's good about the game is done in flashbacks to when Ellie was younger. The actual current story they're telling had potential but the executuion is poor.

The game is trying so hard to get a specific reaction while blowing holes in why and how you should feel that way. We are supposed to empathise with Abby just because we are exposed to her when we're forced to play as her? We are supposed to think bad of Ellie when she killed Mel after Mel attacked her first instead of just pleading "I'm pregnant!"?

Abby killed the man that saved her life brutally and mercilessly. She wasn't able to empathise at all, but you are expected to empathise with her? She even goes on to have a similar, protective sort of relationship with Lev as Joel did with Ellie. Maybe not in a parental way, but the parallels are still there. A notable one is when she's carrying Lev bridal style in her arms off of the island, the same way Joel carried Ellie.

The writing even frames Ellie as being bad, killing a pregnant woman (even though she didn't know and upon finding out, falls to her knees and heaves), and frames Abby as good/the victim, helping and protecting Lev, a victim of transphobia, and slowly discovering and watching more and more of her friends as they die. They try to manipulate you as the player with bad writing.

It really could have been a good story had they spent more time on Ellie working through her feelings towards Joel and his decision to save her. Maybe Abby kills Tommy so Joel can know what it's like to lose a loved one, maybe Ellie is forced to join with him again on their journey for revenge, maybe she more or less HAS to face up to what happened while begrudgingly working with him. Especially after her constantly telling him she doesn't need his help.

He still could have died, maybe before they *really* fix everything. Maybe he gets bitten, that'd be poetic, he robbed humanity of the cure and then died to the infection. Ellie has to face up to the fact that he'd be alive if she had died, and he has to face that too. He also wouldn't have been bitten at all had he not been out for revenge in the first place, so his death would be the price of them wanting revenge for revenge, AND be a much better way of showcasing the cycle of loss being the cycle of revenge in a way that doesn't come across as incredibly redundant for the environment they're in. Ellie really would be The Last of Us. The last of the iconic duo that gave the series its incredible reputation. She could go on to kill Abby and realise it's not made her feel any better, now they've lost Tommy AND Joel, and nothing is going to bring Joel back.

ANYTHING would have been better than what we got. Joel's death 2 hours in was super premature and such a meaningless way to go for a character like Joel. Not to mention the character that looks like Neil Druckman spitting on his corpse but whatever, I digress.

All of this and the fact that the ending is not at aaaaall worth it makes this feel so incredibly soulless. They wanted to go down the route of "is there really a good guy in this kind of world?", and that idea could have worked even for the grim reality in which the story takes place. But then they butcher the execution, force you to play as the character who beat Joel to death for a massive portion of the game, and leave off with a terrible ending.

!Here come the end of game spoilers!

Ellie stated in the first game that she's most afraid of ending up alone, and they did that to her. She suddenly realises that Killing Is Wrong after slaughtering countless men and women to get to this moment with Abby. She is in the middle of drowning her and suddenly lets her live. This woman killed Joel, almost killed Dina. In fact, upon hearing that Dina was pregnant from a battered and bleeding Ellie, she says "Good.", and proceeds to almost slit her throat only that Lev stops her. But Ellie suddenly forgets all of that and lets her leave.

Ellie goes back to the farm she and Dina were living on with their baby only to find Dina has left, as she warned Ellie she would if she leaves for revenge again. The revenge Ellie didn't even get. She goes into a room and sees her guitar in its case. She pulls it out and learns she can no longer play the way Joel showed her all those years ago because she had her fingers bitten off during the struggle with Abby. She props the guitar up by the window, almost as if in memory of the man who taught her to play, and leaves it behind. She has no use for it now. Ellie walks through the field outside, alone. Joel dead. Tommy partially paralysed but his characterisation definitely got massacred. Dina gone. Cut to credits. Game over.

There isn't even a slither of happiness in this game. Was the lesson "revenge is bad"? Because if so, they should have rolled the credits as soon as Abby killed Joel and told players "if that made you uncomfortable, do not seek revenge." In big writing before rolling the credits.

Either way the ending would leave you shifting uncomfortably with a bad taste in your mouth.

I won't even go into how the trailers lied. "You think I'd let you do this alone?" Tell that to Abby's driver. I'm interested to see how quickly the price drops on the PlayStation Store. Even if it gets cheap, I wouldn't bother subjecting yourself to this trashfire.

#The Last of Us #The Last of Us Part 2 #The Last of Us Part II #TLoU pt 2 #TLoU2 #Ellie #Joel #Spoilers #The Last of Us Spoilers #The Last of Us Part 2 Spoilers

[naughtyneganjdm]

ok but the more I got back to read the recent chapters of Arcadia (which is GREAT so far, fyi), the more Y/N reminds of ellie williams (tlou + tlou2) in a way, specfically her within the sequel. of course, there's Joel Baker who's inspired by Joel Miller himself but with Y/N, i see some ellie in her because, not only is she still young (in a way??) she also falls into that state of wanting to survive and keep ANYONE she loves safe, + she and Ellie are both badass!

I love you and I’m soooo happy you read Arcadia but the idea of Joel and Ellie together...makes me want to vomit. Joel was like her father, plus when Joel found her she was 14 and he was 49. In this, while it’s still a big age difference, the main character was 19 when she got with Joel and 18 when she got with Negan. IDK, I could never view Y/N as Ellie. Also big one here, Ellie is part of the LGBTQ+ community. Yes, Joel Baker was DEFINTELY inspired by Joel Miller, I promise you that I do not see Ellie as Y/N. I acknowledge that Joel and Negan have like almost 20 years on Y/N likely and that’s totally okay. I just could never see Ellie and Joel together in TLOU because he was like her dad to me. 

Y/N at this point is 31-32 years old and I definitely could see the badass and wanting to keep anyone she loves safe though. You make a very valid point there! Thank you so much for reading the story though and I’m glad you like it. It makes me very happy and I love you! 

#answered #Anonymous

[holydragon2808]

Credit to SaucyTendies for the video! Give him a like and subscribe! He seems like a really cool dude, even if I don’t agree with everything from this video.

Yo fellow gamers again! Just the dragon popping out of her cozy den to rant about all things geek culture yet again. I promised a part two for my initial The Last of Us Part II review after I finished the game. Well, I suppose what I’m about to say is less of a review (simply because I can’t say too much more than what this guy already did, or what I already did in my part one review), and so much as me trying to grapple with my utter disappointment with how this story of Part II was framed.

As I was watching this video yesterday, I started to think about how I could still see the potential behind the storyline, if only ND hadn’t been so caught up in shock value without the adequate suspense. I posted a pretty long reply in the comments of the above video, changing and reworking key moments in the story and how I personally would have framed it if I was out to tell some sort of revenge story. SaucyTendies liked the comment, and even added a good critique about how I framed Joel’s death (and I liked his take better so I’m gonna include it and give him a credit for it). I just figured maybe you all might would enjoy it too. Needless to say, there will be MASSIVE SPOILERS for TLoU One and TLoU Part II in this post. Last chance to turn back (though I suppose the video is a bit of a spoiler too....)

This is just personally what I would change/rework:

Have the player start the game as Abby, let the player see what her deal is, her backstory, her ties with her father (it could have been depicted as a loving relationship just like Joel and Ellie eventually achieve), see some familiar faces in the flashback from the Fireflies like Marlene and what not, their "look for the light" mission, get some more insight on their faction and all of that.

Just as the player is wondering what the hell is all of this is building up to, we see a very familiar flashback of Joel gunning down the lead surgeon in the operation room to get to Ellie. Then in the flashback, we see Abby realizing (in the sorrowful way she did in the current story) that her father is dead. And she then swears vengeance on whoever killed him.

We then see her spending the next five years training herself to get stronger (though not quite as absurdly buff as she was in the story) for the inevitable confrontation with Joel. Only that the one person that was suppose to cure humanity was taken from the Fireflies and not only did she lose her father, but "her life's purpose" as Neil said.

That alone could have been the prologue of the story. First hour or so maybe. And since Abby is supposed to be the same age as Ellie, it would make sense that she wouldn’t know about Ellie directly in the first game, but would know about Joel (who murdered her father). Abby would have been a 14 year old girl too, just as Ellie was, and probably not present so it could work. At this point, (present day) Abby is a different person from the flashbacks (though still nice deep down) and is wanting to seek out who killed her father and exact vengeance on him (she already knows his name: Joel Miller). She just has to find him.

Then we jump to Jackson where we're now in control of Ellie, we see what she’s been up to the past five years, get to hang out with the residents of Jackson for a while (play that snowball fight game still with the kids) and we eventually see her having her inevitable falling out with Joel over his lie in the first game. Their relationship is strained, and she eventually denounces him and strikes out on her own.

A bit later in the game, just as Ellie is about to be overwhelmed by infected, she meets Abby (who saves her life) and the two strike up a friendship (both unknowing who the other person really is), and they travel around the world, killing infected together and any other threats as they learn more about each other and deepen their friendship. Abby eventually introduces Ellie to her friends (and they're not as intolerable as they were in the main story), they all strike up some friendships and it soon becomes apparent to Ellie who Abby’s group is (former Fireflies) and she starts to feel guilt over her immune status and what she represents to the former group, but keeps it to herself and from Abby. Abby does eventually confide in Ellie that her father was murdered and that she’s out for revenge, but doesn’t quite elaborate on the specific circumstances, just a general statement that he was murdered while trying to save humanity. Ellie then says that the one person who filled that role for her (a father figure), she had a falling out with and can’t bring herself to forgive him after he broke her trust (but does NOT quite elaborate on the specifics or say Joel’s name).

Abby, (not knowing that Ellie is talking about Joel or that Ellie is even part of the reason why her father was murdered) persuades Ellie to go back to him and try to forgive him for whatever he did, because it sounds like he loves her. After all, some people would kill to have their parents alive and well again. Somewhat coming around to the idea of reconciling with Joel (even if Ellie won’t admit it), Ellie and Abby make their way back to Jackson avoiding/battling the crazy Scars and any infected and all of that along the way.

Eventually, before they make it to Jackson, they stumble into a spore infected nest with shamblers, runners, clickers, all of it. During the skirmish/escape, and while still in the spore infected area, Ellie’s mask breaks. Then it clicks for Abby exactly who Ellie is and Abby is PISSED and starts to go after Ellie. Ellie thinks the other girl’s rage is solely because she’s the walking cure the Fireflies wanted and lost. What Ellie doesn’t know (that the player does) is that Abby is now putting together exactly who Ellie’s “father” figure really is….but doesn’t tell Ellie that she now knows about Joel. Though Abby does eventually stop herself from killing Ellie in this moment, realizing that she can “use” Ellie to get to Joel. So they eventually make their way to Jackson after reconciling a little bit, though their friendship is clearly strained.

However, after befriending Ellie all this time, Abby is very conflicted about killing Joel now. She wants her revenge, but also wants to honor her father by not giving into violence (maybe the prologue could have had her dad tell her not to give into violence or something). Abby also doesn’t really want to hurt Ellie deep down, but is still upset that Ellie got the bond she lost, when by all accounts Ellie should have died for humanity and the Fireflies’ cause. Though it at first seems like Abby is going to let her vengeance go as she tries to settle down in Jackson. Abby makes friends, her friendship with Ellie is slowly but surely being restored, and it just seems like everything will be fine. Ellie/Dina are a thing now too.

Then one day, Joel and Abby go on a patrol together and that’s when she finally snaps and beats Joel to death in the same way she did in the game. (At this point, SaucyTendies said “Wow! I liked it until Joel died the same way, I think it would have been better for Abby to be put in a situation where she needed to save Joel and then she just doesn't. Maybe Joel could somehow escape the situation badly injured too, then the revenge quest could start.”) This could work too. But I personally think it would be more poignant if Joel’s death still happened in some way. I’d add that maybe Joel would stumble back into Jackson badly injured, carrying the note that Abby wrote, says her name, and then dies or something. 

But anyway, then Abby knows she can’t go back to Jackson, so by this point she steals away back to her friends to tell them everything. Ellie and Tommy mourn Joel’s dead body, and finally read the note Joel had in his hand. It simply says “An eye for an eye”. Ellie recalls Abby’s quest for vengeance and realizes that SHE’S the one that murdered Joel, before she could start to renew her bond with him. Ellie and Tommy then swears vengeance on Abby, and will kill anyone who gets in their way.

Eventually, after Ellie (and Tommy) kill all of Abby’s friends just like in canon (because they were in her way to Abby and were going to kill her for that lost cure cause and declare a war on Jackson if need be), she and Abby would fight the same way as they did in canon in the final confrontation. The player, (as Ellie) would then kill Abby by drowning her (Ellie still has all her fingers at this point).

Though again, the player would actually more than likely sympathize with Abby too, and not really know who they would root for in this scenario (the player is actually INVESTED in her as a character, or at least was given the room to be over the course of the narrative).

Ellie would then realize that vengeance (and her murder spree) only brought her even more pain and misery, nightmares, and just broke her completely. She does return to Jackson, but knowing that she’ll never be able to reconcile with Joel, she’ll always have nightmares, hatred, and pain in her heart over what happened. The only real solace she finds is when she plays guitar. The final shot of the game could be her trying to play a song, with a sad, utterly broken look in her eyes.

And that’s all. Let me know what you guys think? How would you reframe or rework the story if you could? Did you like this? Hate it? What would you change from my post? I’m aware that it’s sort of unrefined here and there, but hopefully this sounds better to the people that were disappointed than what we actually did receive.... But, either way, thank you very much for reading!

#tlou #tlou part two #ellie the last of us #joel miller #abby the last of us #joel the last of us #tommy the last of us #the last of us #the last of us part two

[slamsams-blog]

Die Another Day - #24WeeksofBond

24 Weeks of Bond hits the low point this week with Pierce Brosnan’s swan song as 007 in “Die Another Day”.  Oh man, there is just so much to say and unpack about this movie, it’s hard to put into summary every which way this film fails to deliver.  This film came at a cross-roads for film goers who still loved Bond, but were starting to grow a little tired of the hokey-ness and sleaze of James Bond and were wanting something a little rougher.  “The Bourne Identity” had come out just a few months prior to high praise for it’s hard hitting, intense, stripped-down style...it was fresh.  A few months later “Die Another Day” comes out with an older Pierce Brosnan, some god awful writing and cartoonish cinematography.  Change needed to happen, and this movie would mark the end of the sex puns, over the top gadgets, and far fetched scenarios.

Listen, I LOVE Bond.  I really have a hard time saying a Bond movie is bad...but this movie. is. bad.  This is a tale of two films. The first half is an action packed drama that is gritty, and dark and the second half is like watching a Joel Schumacher Batman film (the one where Batman has nipples).  The plot is also a rip off of “Diamonds Are Forever” and constantly goes for the cheap pop - bringing out all the old gadgets and familiar looking scenes for the 40th anniversary of Bond.  There is just so much trash talk to shell out here, but let’s start with the good stuff.

Die Another Day actually starts out quite promising and delivers a thrilling pre-title sequence with Bond infiltrating a North Korean Army base where he has stolen the clothing of a man trading African Conflict Diamonds for some weapons with a Colonel of the North Korean military and his stooge Zao.  Bond is eventually found out but manages to escape the firing squad to chase down Colonel Moon on a HOVERCRAFT!  Pretty neat.  Colonel Moon eventually runs out of road and takes a fall appearing to be slain, but Bond is caught again by Moon’s dad and for the next 14 months, Bond will be held prisoner and tortured.

I always liked how they utilized the title sequence to take us through Bond’s captivity (even though we are forced to listen to Madonna’s over produced and just flat out weird song...what’s the deal with the random “Sigmund Freud” lyric?).  Though the song is hard on the ear drums, it does a great job in providing an aura of despair and pain in the torture aspect of the title sequence...maybe because the song is torture?

We come back from Madonna, and Jesus Bond is now being traded for Zao who has diamonds permanently implanted in his face from Bond’s intrusion.  This makes Bond angry and makes him question why MI6 would give Zao up.  M is also pissed about it, it appears that there is someone who is playing MI6 for fools.  M is so mad that she essentially burns Bond and relieves him of his 00 status, but this doesn’t stop Bond from forcing himself into cardiac arrest to escape and find out who is behind all of this.

See?  Starts out great!  If only they can keep this momentum going...(spoiler alert: they can’t)

Another positive about this movie is a great fencing scene with Bond and Gustav Graves (Toby Stephans).  I've just always been tickled by how much this scene escalates from a little game of fencing to an all out sword fight.  It is one of the few highlights of the film, complete with a cameo made by Madonna...something I’m sure she negotiated to sign on for the Bond theme.  Get that payday, Madonna!

Well thats about all the positive I can muster for this film.  It’s time to take the gloves off.  Die Another Day’s wheels start to come loose when Bond is in Cuba looking for Zao...during this time, he meets Jinx (Halle Berry), and the dialogue that will unfold, sounds like the writer brought in his perverted nephew, who is just out of high school, looking to write a scene to get his friends to laugh when they watch it in his parents basement.  Halle Berry is the victim of poor writing, and possibly poor directing, yes, but she also tries WAY too hard to be a cool, witty, and deadly agent.  I’ll give Berry the benefit of the doubt to an extent, but I really think she just over acted here.

On top of that - Brosnan and Berry have absolutely ZERO chemistry.  Brosnan is no spring chicken anymore, so we are supposed to believe a woman like Halle Berry would welcome the advances from a bird watcher in his mid-50′s who says Mojito really weird?  Come on.  And the obvious dick jokes and creepiness from Bond who is foaming at the mouth, desperate for sex after being tortured for over a year makes this scene so uncomfortable to watch.

But we later come to find out that Jinx is more than just a reincarnation of Honey Ryder from Dr. No...she is also a secret agent that seems to never take anything seriously and in the face of death by laser, still has time for jokes.  We find out Zao is trying to do gene-therapy treatment to change his identity to someone else.  Much like Colonel Moon had done, turning himself into the man we will come to know as Gustav Graves.  The adrenaline filled, publicity junky, billionaire with an eye for diamonds.

Speaking of over acting, Toby Stephans puts out a good effort with the Gustav Graves character but he is just so over the top with his “evil” looks that there is no denying that he is indeed the villain.  Some of the best villains in cinema and television are villains that get you to like them.  They play to your emotions, let you in on their dark secrets, give you a smile and a laugh, maybe even make you connect with them in a twisted way...but Graves lets you know by his nostril flares and angry glares, that you couldn’t possibly like him if you tried.

Graves invites Bond to his party in Iceland, (isn’t Greenland the icy one?). This is when the movie goes off the rails completely, the second half of the film that looks like the props, sets, and lighting design were borrowed from the Power Rangers.  This ridiculous ice palace accompanied by the super ridiculous revelation of the “Icarus” - a satellite made out of diamonds (exactly like Diamonds are Forever) is just so off-putting. The Icarus shoots a beam as powerful as the sun and can also be used as a freakin sun beam death laser from the sky.  Yes, you heard that right.  At one point Bond is involved in a chase where he is being tailed by a sun beam death laser from the sky.  This leads to the most cringe worthy scene in all of Bond...Bond escapes by CGI surfing.

I’ve said before, one of the aspects of the Bond films that makes the series so successful is the heavy emphasis on real stunts.  REAL STUNTS.  Director Lee Tamahori thought it would be fun to amp up the CGI because he thought that CGI was the future of the Bond franchise, oh was he sorely mistaken. He also thought it would be a good idea to insert a bunch of slow motion shots throughout the movie, they were going for the ‘Matrix effect’ but it did not play well.  It’s choppy and pixilated and just ruins any momentum they managed to build up - it just ends up being annoying. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, Q Branch comes out to “Jump the Shark” by delivering an invisible car.  Really?  This is just another example of the theme of this film taking everything one step too far.  But maybe you could argue that that is what we needed in order to know what our threshold as a Bond audience is.  You could say that maybe Die Another Day was the most important film in the canon for that reason.  Maybe Die Another Day was the sacrificial lamb to fall on it’s own sword to prevent us from going in that direction again, maybe...this movie SAVED THE BOND FRANCHISE??

Eh, Now I’m just devil’s advocating myself.  This is thee worst Bond movie of all time and anyone who says differently has no idea what they are talking about, or are just trying to be ‘Ironic’, or whatever.  This film ends with Gustav Graves becoming an electrifying super-shredder villain whose design was probably stolen from the Mega-Man video games.  The final battle taking place on a plane that is crashing due to a window being knocked out and is also being destroyed by the Sun Beam death laser from the sky.  In other words...more CGI.

And to top it all off, we end on another uncomfortable scene with Bond and Jinx again, spitting out blatant toilet humor dialogue making us think that they are getting busy, but it turns out Bond is just putting diamonds in her belly button (which she really wants to leave in for some reason).  Traditionally, a Bond movie would end with some witty pun being the last bit of dialogue you would hear before credits, but this...I still can’t figure out how this left the writer’s table. 

Bond: “I'm still not quite sure how good you are.”

Jinx: “I’m sooo good...”

Bond: “Especially when you’re bad.”

huh??  It’s not even a pun, it just doesn’t make sense.

Honestly, you can tell Brosnan is thinking “who the hell wrote this shit?” while he is delivering that final line.  sigh.  The good news is that we can only go up from here!  This would be Brosnan’s final performance as James Bond, even though he publicly announced he was going to do another one.  Didn’t quite work out that way, the film studio eventually phased him out, leaving Brosnan at curbside.  Probably for the best, Brosnan was great for that time, but the pressure was on for change.  And change we would get - with Daniel Craig.

That’s all for me tonight, let me know why you hated this movie!

Reviews from Friends:

Tyler Dahlgren

See I like Toby’s Graves. That guy plays despicable well (Black Sails anyone?). It’s the redeeming part of the movie for me. That and the car. I love the Aston Martins, let’s stick to those.

Andrew Albertsen

I think the whole movie should’ve just been about Bond’s incarceration and torture and eventual escape.

My Mom

Sam you don’t mention Rosemund Pike in your review. I thought she made an outstanding ice queen. This had its moments and I do love Pierce Brosnan as Bond but this film was way too long and too much continuous action. A person tunes out.

Jake Benrud

The end of an era. All the gadgets and the over the top villains complete with "diamond face" and a genetically modified psychopath with daddy issues. I don't understand why he needed to drive his car in the ice palace in the first place. Also, that was an epic dive by Halle Berry.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

Quantum of Solace

#James Bond #Pierce Brosnan #halle berry #Die Another Day #24WeeksofBond

[splendidlyimperfect]

Gray hasn’t seen Natsu in years - not since he moved away with his boyfriend Joel and Natsu stopped texting him. A chance run-in at a bar brings Natsu back into Gray’s life, but the encounter puts Gray in danger when Joel finds out. Natsu quickly realizes that Gray’s stuck in a cycle of violence, and wants to help him escape. But leaving isn’t that easy, and sometimes loving someone might not be enough.

Chapter Summary: Natsu helps Gray plan for the future. Joel gets jealous, and Gray daydreams about what could have been. .

Chapters (14/22):  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 ] 14 Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Gray Fullbuster/Original Male Character(s) Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape Aftermath, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Natsu just wants to help, but Gray feels like he can’t leave, Non-Linear Narrative, Trans Character, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, ftlgbtpride2019, Coming Out, First Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise

** TW for abuse and implied noncon

-----

i wanna come home to you

long·ing | \ ˈlȯŋ-iŋ noun :  a strong desire, especially for something unattainable

.

xiii september .

Fall comes, and with it, believable excuses for long-sleeved shirts and scarves. Joel’s work gets busier, so while he’s angry more often, he also spends a lot more time at the office and leaves Gray alone.

Gray spends most of the free time picking up extra shifts at the restaurant. Joel hadn’t let him leave the apartment for over a week after he’d bruised Gray’s face, and Gray had almost lost his job. Lucy vouching for him being ‘sick’ had been the only thing that had convinced Jeremy to keep him, so now Gray’s determined to make up the missing hours.

The other benefit of Joel working more is that it leaves Gray with more time to talk to Natsu. When Gray’s calling card had run out of minutes, they’d both downloaded Skype. Seeing Natsu’s blurry face on the phone screen for the first time had been a terrifying relief.

“You should pack up a bag,” Natsu says one afternoon near the end of September. They’re both lying on their beds while they chat, and Gray can see Natsu’s cat Happy curled up beside him. Natsu looks content, but his voice is serious.

“Why?” Gray asks, even though he knows exactly what Natsu means.

Natsu gives Gray a look. “I know you can’t leave,” he says, “but what if you wanted to, one day? Or you had to?”

Gray presses his face into the pillow, letting the idea float through his mind. It seems so easy when they talk, and there have been a few times where Gray has been this close to asking Natsu to come get him.

But then Joel comes home with Gray’s favorite coffee, or takes him out for dinner, or tells Gray he loves him, and Gray feels so guilty. He has to stay. Joel needs him.

“What would I put in it?” Gray asks eventually, peeking up at Natsu.

“Your license,” Natsu says immediately. Gray has a feeling he’s rehearsed this. “Any paperwork you have – birth certificate, or name change paperwork, things like that.”

“Joel has all that at work,” Gray says dully, hugging the pillow to his stomach. “I have an ID, but I don’t have a license.”

“Okay, your ID then,” Natsu says. “Do you have anything with your name on it? Your health care card? SIN card?”

Gray shakes his head, refusing to look at the screen. “Joel keeps it all.” He feels so small and stupid. “Everything’s under his name.”

Natsu sighs, and Gray can see him petting Happy out the corner of his eye. “What about a bank card? Credit card?”

“I don’t have anything,” Gray says, trying to push down the hot flush that’s creeping up his cheeks. “He has it all.” He finally looks up at Natsu again. “There’s no point. I can’t leave.”

Continue reading on AO3

If he leaves, everything will fall apart. He’ll have nothing – no money, no home, no insurance to pay for his meds. He’ll lose Bella and his job and the life he’s built.

“If I ever had to run out of the house,” Natsu says slowly, “like, if it was on fire or something, right? I’d grab Happy. My keys, my phone. Probably the scarf from my dad.” He scratches behind Happy’s ears. “That picture of us.”

Gray’s quiet for a long time. He still has that picture, buried in the back of one of his textbooks that’s collecting dust in the bottom of their closet.

“I… have a favorite sweater,” Gray says eventually, picking at a thread in the comforter. “A-and a travel mug I really like.” He feels Bella flop down on the bed next to him and he turns to look at her. “I, um… I think Bella’s adoption certificate from the shelter has my name on it. It might be in my email.”

Natsu nods, giving Gray an encouraging smile. “What else?”

“My, um, my meds. And a phone charger,” Gray adds. He looks around the room, but he’s not attached to anything here. “Jeremy at work, he—I get a paystub every couple weeks. Joel takes them usually, but… I could make a copy?”

“That sounds good,” Natsu says. “What about some clothes?”

They spend the next hour talking about what to pack, and over the next few days, Gray manages to collect everything in an old gym bag of Joel’s. On Friday he brings it to work and hides it in his locker.

He tries hard not to think too hard about what it means.

-----

“What’s your deal with that cop?”

It’s Friday evening, and Gray and Joel are sitting on the couch, flipping through Netflix while they wait for the pizza to arrive.

Gray looks over at Joel, who keeps flipping back and forth between movies without really looking at anything. He’s been in a bad mood all evening, so Gray’s stayed carefully quiet, playing Tetris on his phone and agreeing with whatever Joel says.

“What do you mean?” Gray asks carefully.

“The blond one,” Joel says. “Always hanging out at the restaurant. Seems like he’s into you.”

Gray stills, watching the Tetris shape fall into the wrong place, blocking the other pieces until they pile up and reach the top of the screen.

“He’s just a regular,” Gray says, watching the words Game Over flash at him across the screen. “Usually Lucy serves him, not me.”

Joel looks over at Gray as he turns the TV off, then sets the remote on the coffee table. Gray’s mind races as he desperately tries to think of what to say to calm Joel down.

“Don’t lie to me,” Joel says quietly.

“H-his name’s Sting,” Gray says, looking back down at his phone. The screen’s gone dark. “I... he’s friendly. The precinct is close to the restaurant, I—there’s nothing, he’s just a customer.”

“I saw how he looked at you today,” Joel says, shaking his head. Gray bites the inside of his cheek, keeping his eyes down. Joel had picked him up from work today, and Gray knows that Sting was watching when Joel had taken Gray’s tips, then grabbed his arm to lead him out to the car.

“He’s engaged,” Gray says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows he’s only made things worse.

“How do you know that?” Joel demands. “Thought he was ‘just a customer.’” He moves closer to Gray on the sofa, and Gray flinches, but Joel reaches out and grabs his wrist, taking his phone away.

“He brought his fiancé in one day, that’s all,” Gray says as quietly as possible. “I’m not—I just do my job.”

“What, your job involves flirting with other men now?” Joel demands.

Gray shakes his head. “N-no, I—”

“Shut up.” Joel lets go of Gray’s wrist and flips through his phone instead. Gray watches Joel scroll through his texts, then flip to his e-mail.

After a few terrifying minutes, Joel sighs and drops Gray’s phone back on the table.

“I’m sorry, babe,” he says, rubbing his face. “Work’s been a lot lately. I didn’t mean to get mad.”

Gray relaxes incrementally. “Is… can I do anything?” he asks. He’s tried everything to keep Joel happy – cleaning, cooking, making coffee, being quiet. Maybe there’s something he’s missing.

Joel reaches over and runs his hand up Gray’s thigh, then leans in and says, “there might be something.” His voice is low and Gray knows he’s going for sensual, but it makes Gray nauseous. A cold, uncomfortable feeling creeps up the back of his neck.

Joel slides his hand further up, slipping it under Gray’s shirt and shifting closer. Gray closes his eyes, biting his tongue so hard that he tastes blood.

He doesn’t want this.  

“C’mon, baby,” Joel murmurs, bringing his other hand up to Gray’s hair and leaning in for a kiss. Gray lets him, trying his hardest not to tense up under Joel’s touch. Ever since the drunken night with Natsu, things with Joel haven’t been the same. Whenever Gray closes his eyes, it’s Natsu���s hands touching him, Natsu’s lips on his neck, Natsu’s body pressing against him.

Joel’s about to pull Gray into his lap when there’s a knock on the door, and Bella races out of the bedroom, barking. The pizza. Gray nearly breathes a sigh of relief.  

Joel pulls back from Gray, squeezing his hip before standing up and reaching for his wallet. As he walks out of the living room, Gray wraps his arms tightly around himself and closes his eyes, taking several deep breaths to calm the way his heart’s pounding in his chest.

Joel reappears a minute later, dropping the pizza on the coffee table and sliding back onto the couch. He brushes his fingers across Gray’s cheek and grabs his hips again.

“Now,” he says, voice low in Gray’s ear. “Where were we?”

-----

Gray calls Natsu as soon as Joel leaves for work the next morning.

“What happened?” Natsu asks as soon as he answers. Gray doesn’t say anything, just props the phone up against the headboard and buries his face in the pillow. “Gray?”

He shakes his head.

“Are you okay?” Natsu asks, and Gray can hear the worry in his voice.

Gray’s not sure how to answer. Joel didn’t hit him, but it still hurts. His whole body feels heavy and his skin itches, and it’s hard to open his eyes.

“Gray, please, look at me,” Natsu says gently. “I need to know you’re not hurt.”

“’m okay,” Gray whispers, lifting his head up and rubbing his face before looking at Natsu. “Just tired.”

“What did he do to you?” Natsu asks, and he looks like he’s going to cry.

“I… nothing,” Gray says, sitting up slowly and hugging the pillow to his chest. “I’m not hurt. Promise.”

Natsu studies him intently – it’s hard to catch all his expressions through the crappy connection, but Gray has every part of Natsu’s face memorized. He knows that Natsu gets freckles in the summer, and that there’s a tiny scar under his lip, and that when he laughs, his eyes crinkle and he gets dimples that Gray loves to kiss.

Loved to kiss.

Gray shakes his head and presses his face to the pillow again. “I miss you,” he whispers. “I wish…” He doesn’t want to cry, but he can’t seem to stop it from happening, and he bites the sound down until his shoulders are shaking.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” Natsu asks. Gray shakes his head. “Fucking hell… Gray, please, talk to me. I’m scared for you.”

“I can’t,” Gray whispers, wiping his eyes. “I w-want…” He looks up at Natsu, and for just a second, pictures himself in Natsu’s arms. Feels Natsu holding him, kissing his forehead, rubbing his back, wiping his tears.

“Are you alone?” Natsu asks. Gray nods, taking a shaky breath. “I don’t think you should be. Do you have anybody that can come be with you?”

Gray shakes his head. I want to be with you, he thinks.

“Do you want me to call Sting? He can—”

“No,” Gray says quickly, thinking of Joel’s jealous glare and the bruises on his hips. “Please, no.”

“Gray,” Natsu whispers, and he brings the phone closer to himself, as if it would bring Gray closer to him too. “Listen to me, love. You deserve to be happy. Joel is abusing you. He hurts you and makes you afraid – you shouldn’t be scared of somebody you love.”

I know, Gray thinks.

“I…” He’s so close to saying it. So close to asking, to telling Natsu he’s ready to leave this all behind. But it’s terrifying and too much, so instead he says, “can you… can we just talk? About… whatever, it doesn’t matter, I just…”

“Yeah,” Natsu says immediately, voice gentle. “Of course, yeah. Did I tell you about the Halloween party I’m going to?”  

-----

They talk for a long time, and when they finally hang up, they both whisper I love you before the picture cuts out. Gray stares at the screen for a long time, then turns the phone off and shoves it back in the table drawer, covering it with a book and some old receipts. Then he curls up on the bed, wrapping his arm around one of the pillows and pressing his face against it.

I love you.

The guilt washes over Gray like it always does, and he lets it hurt. He feels like throwing up because those words are supposed to be for Joel and only Joel. But when Gray says them to Joel, they don’t feel the same.

With Joel, I love you feels like please don’t hurt me.

With Natsu, I love you feels like you’re safe.

Gray remembers the first time he told Natsu he loved him. They’d been dating for three months – it was almost Halloween and Natsu had been lying on Gray’s bed, waving his hands in the air as he talked about costume ideas. His eyes had been bright and his smile had been so wide and sweet, and Gray had leaned over and kissed him, whispering I love you against his lips.

Natsu had immediately said it back, running his fingers through Gray’s hair and rolling them over until he could press Gray into the bed and kiss him all over.

Gray wonders what his life would be like now if Natsu hadn’t left. The thought has crossed his mind before, but he’s never let himself really think about it. It hurts too much, and Gray’s not supposed to want.

Gray curls up tighter, and when he closes his eyes, he sees a house – something small and comfortable and far away from here. Natsu’s cooking pancakes in the kitchen, wearing a stupid apron that has some silly pun written across the front of it. He’s humming along to whatever is playing on the radio, and when he turns to look at Gray, his smile is just as wide as when Gray had first said, “I love you.”

A warm, contented feeling spreads through Gray’s chest, and in the daydream, he reaches out for Natsu, taking both his hands and pulling him close. Natsu kisses Gray's cheek, brushes his hair from his eyes, wraps his hands around Gray’s waist and starts to dance.

You deserve to be happy. Natsu’s words drift through Gray’s mind, and his stomach twists again. He’s abusing you.

Gray takes a deep breath, opening his eyes and peeking over at the bedroom door before whispering, “Joel is… abusive.” He immediately squeezes his eyes shut, holding the pillow tight against him as he lets the words settle. He’s never said it before. Even when Natsu asks, Gray never says the words out loud.

“Joel hurts me,” he tries again, voice so quiet that Bella, who is sleeping beside him, doesn’t stir. “He shouldn’t hit me.”

Something shifts in his chest. The knots are still there, but it’s different, somehow. He wishes he understood what it meant.

“I shouldn’t be scared,” he says quietly. “I deserve to be happy.”  

#fairy tail #ftlgbtales #ftlgbtfics #ftlgbtpride2019 #day 16 #gratsu #natray #gray x natsu #gray fullbuster #natsu dragneel #update #new chapter #tw abuse #prompt #my fic

[bazarofafter]

My Hessa Playlist 🎶❤️

1: The first song could only be The Fray with Never Say Never ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH7yZOvvMrg

"You can never say never while we don't know it Time and time again Younger now than we were before Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go"

2: As you know Lea Michele is my favorite singer and this song called Battlefield that talks about battle and let the other go... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM0sPHSAtq8

"We keep holding on but we both know What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield"

3: Demons of Imagine Dragons perfectly represents the character of Hardin  ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tur7i37z8dI

"I want to hide the truth I want to shelter you But with the beast inside There’s nowhere we can hide."

4: A another song of Lea Michele called Burn With You ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q12NCu2scOY

"I don't wanna dream without you I don't wanna be without you I'll do anything you want me to Cause I know you'll burn with me too"

5: This song of The Civil Wars called Poison & Wine ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBicqqc_UWg

"I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back The less I give the more I get back Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise I don't have a choice but I'd still choose you"

6: This song Don't Speak by No Doubt I listened to it the first time on Glee and she represents Hessa for me ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONg4SK39-Kg

"Don't speak I know just what you're saying So please stop explaining Don't tell me cause it hurts"

7: This song makes me cry everytime... Dynasty by Miia ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JSdy3nLLYA

"Some days it's hard to see If I was a fool, or you, a thief Made it through the maze to find my one in a million Now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living"

8: A another song of the playlist in the book Before, One Direction Change Your Ticket ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3jrXC93FcI

"You should probably stay, be with me, a couple more days Come on let me change your ticket home Don't go, it's not the same when you're gone"

9: In the new album of Charlie Puth there is this song called Empty Cups that reminds me of Hardin and Tessa at the fraternity party 🥃 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4e-qdZALHw

"Just me and you and these empty cups If you want it like I want it Let me take you to another room"

10: Of course the song The Hills by The Weeknd ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA312HD8TCs

"I only fuck you when it's half past five The only time I'd ever call you mine I only love it when you touch me, not feel me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me"

11: When I listened to Heaven by Julia Michaels I immediately associated with Hessa ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO2ITUT5doI

"No need to imagine Cause I know it's true They say "all good boys go to heaven" But bad boys bring heaven to you"

12: In My Veins by Andrew Belle such a beautiful song ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSYnOeO5rdk

"Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out Oh you're all I taste At night inside of my mouth Oh you run away Cause I am not what you found Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out."

13: Him & I by G-Eazy feat Halsey, love this song and this is so much Hessa ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlnrCLivyjM

"Cross my heart, hope to die To my lover, I'd never lie He said "be true", I swear I'll try In the end, it's him and I"

14: The Cab Endlessly, a song that I discovered with the playlist in the book Before and that I love now ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWWSo_kdaZ0

"It's not a miracle you need, believe me Yeah, I'm no angel, I'm just me But I will love you endlessly Wings aren't what you need, you need me”

15: Ashley Tisdale How Do You Love Someone, it's a song that's a few years old now but I've listened to it recently and it made me think about Tessa ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EDjZNO80SI

"Getting it wrong How do you love someone Without getting hurt"

16: Say Something by A Great Big World feat Christina Aguilera, this song hurt and makes me cry... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmErRm-vApI

"Say something, I'm giving up on you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Anywhere, I would've followed you Say something, I'm giving up on you"

17: If You Leave Me Now by Charlie Puth, this song reminds me of Hardin's thoughts when he decides to really change for Tessa ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmDpFGq6hqs

"No, this is not goodbye I swear that I'm gonna change No, baby, please don't cry It doesn't have to end this way"

18: Run To You by Lea Michele, I think this one is my favorite ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82LZUR9YiGk

"Cause you'll be safe in these arms of mine Just call my name on the edge of the night And I'll run to you, I'll run to you"

19: Night Changes by One Direction ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zVLwsIsQuk

"Everything that you've ever dreamed of Disappearing when you wake up But there's nothing to be afraid of Even when the night changes It will never change me and you"

20: My second favorite song of Lea Michele that is perfect for Hessa, You're Mine ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ds4eXy9n-4

"You're mine, for life And I'll be by your side We are entwined You're mine, for life, Hold me until we die, I'm yours and you are mine"

21: Thought The Dark by One Direction ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuP4C8u7dE8

"Oh I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way through the dark"

22: Don't Deserve You by Plumb, beautiful song ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqik0YECdsg

"I don't deserve your love But you give it to me anyway Can't get enough You're everything I need And when I walk away Take off running and come right after me It's what you do And I don't deserve you"

23: All I Want by Kodaline, just love this song ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6BwAWiHcSg

"All I want is nothing more To hear you knocking at my door Cause if I could see your face once more I could die as a happy man I'm sure"

24: I Run To You by Missio, this song is so beautiful and perfect for Hessa ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH_VbZ7P2QA

"I'll keep chasing you Keep chasing you I don't judge you love I never have before We make mistakes We leave them by the door I run to you love I run to you love"

24: Breathe Me by Sia ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM

"Help, I have done it again I have been here many times before Hurt myself again today And the worst part is there's no one else to blame Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up, unfold me I am small, I'm needy Warm me up and breathe me"

25:  Falling Apart by Michael Shulte ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKR_yG7D6mU

"We were out and out, through the storms, through the night We were running in the dark, we were following our hearts And we would fall down and we would slowly fall apart We would slowly fall into the dark."

26: Are You With Me by Nilu ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNc0c7q7Umw

"Worse for the wear But the wars of our fathers Are not ours to bear Don't give up, no not yet Are you with me? Are you in or are you out? Are you with me? Are you drifting through the doubt?"

27:  Take Me Home by Jess Glynne ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNO0XFN8vIw

"Gave me more than a hand to hold Caught before I hit the ground Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now Would you take the wheel If I lose control? If I'm lying here Will you take me home?"

28: Surrender by Natalie Taylor ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo_WJgaTzwY

"No one will win time I just want you back I’m running to your side Flying my white flag, my white flag My love where are you Whenever you’re ready Can we can we surrender."

29: Ruin My Life by Zara Larsson, my new favorite song ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppw9vAc_wGU

"I want you to ruin my life You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah I want you to fuck up my nights, yeah Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah."

30: The Other Side by Ruelle ❤️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVJp307TNTY

"We are buried in broken dreams We are knee-deep without a plea I don't want to know what it's like to live without you Don't want to know the other side of a world without you."

31: Love's To Blame by Joel & Luke ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45elZgJfNdc&pbjreload=10 

"I still think of you I pray that you were save I'm still missing you But it has to be this way Cause I'm not right for you And that's why love's to blame."

32: War Of Hearts by Ruelle ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5paJrsIkqg 

"Stay with me a little longer I will wait for you Shadows creep And want grows stronger Deeper than the truth I can't help but love you Even though I try not to I can't help but want you I know that I'd die without you."

33: Beautiful Mess by Kristian Kostov ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1Db4v8fB34 

"And we don't have a thing to lose No matter what they say or do I don't want nothing more Our love is untouchable Even in the line of fire When everything is on the wire Even up against the wall."

34: Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUlX8ltm_JU 

"I don't want them to know the secrets I don't want them to know the way I loved you I don't think they'd understand it, no I don't think they would accept me, no I loved, and I loved and I lost you."

35: Hurricane by Fleurie ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD9zp18Zp_8 

"Seven times again when you are not awake Seven times the flame, too much to take The sky burns red against your skin The world we know turns in the wind Coming like a hurricane, I take it in real slow."

36: Call Out My Name by The Weeknd ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3vav5Sfhrw 

"So call out my name Call out my name when I kiss you so gently I want you to stay I want you to stay, even though you don't want me Girl, why can't you wait? Girl, why can't you wait til I fall out of love?"

37: Fix You by Coldplay ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK3TROzVRiE 

"But high up above or down below When you are too in love to let it show Oh but if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you."

38: Love The Way You Lie by Rihanna & Eminem ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiUNTdFX8G8 

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie."

39: Rehab by Rihanna & Justin Timberlake ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dHBK9lON9Q

"You'd do anything for the one you love Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there It's like you were my favorite drug The only problem is that you was using me In a different way than I was using you."

40: Always Hate Me by James Blunt ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L26kI17ZaJk 

"I never meant to hurt you It's just something I do I guess it's not a good excuse And she will always hate me No matter what I say And there is no mistaking The love is gone She will always hate me."

41: Back To You by Selena Gomez ❤️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNGbmg_pVlQ 

"You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward, but it's true I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else."

#Hessa Playlist #Hessa #After #After Movie #Tessa Young #Hardin Scott #Josephine Langford #Hero Fiennes Tiffin #The Fray #Lea Michele #Imagine Dragons #The Civil Wars #No Doubt #Miia #One Direction #Charlie Puth #The Weeknd #Julia Michaels #Andrew Belle #G-Eazy #Halsey #The Cab #Ashley Tisdale #A Great Big World #Christina Aguilera #Plumb #Kodaline #Missio #Sia #Anna Todd

[keytextsfromkh]

Dream Drop Distance: Hunchback

- Did Frollo just call Sora a weeb?

- I'm going to make this young, supple boy squeal...did I say that out loud?

- "I mean look at him, he looks 14 but sounds 30, clearly witchcraft is afoot".

- I think Frollo is how a number of Americans view the police and authority figures in general.

- I guess the Dream Eaters are celebrating that they're having one hell of a feast tonight.

- (Quasimodo really deserves the title of King of Fools) Well, no one will debate you on that.

- There's a look that says "I want to torture the ever loving shit out of her but not before she chains me up and gives me another one of those scarf dances".

- "We won't use a door, we'll use some of that gypsy black magic the Master is always going on about".

- "He's insane, the isolation has gotten to him and now he thinks he can talk to stone statues...really makes you question /your/ mental state now doesn't it?"

- So is this Isolation George? Is there actually a George Costanza in every world?

- You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. if Sora is allowed to infiltrate this world, then Haley Joel Osment as you know him CEASES to exist. You see, right now, we have Haley!Zephyr, but there is also Haley!Sora. That's the Haley you know, the Haley you grew up with, Haley!Cole, Haley!David, Haley!Teddy, Haley!Mowgli". If Haley!Zephyr walks through this world, he will KILL Haley!Sora. A Haley divided against itself CANNOT stand!"

- "He can't let his heart be a prison", dude, you're the last person who should ever be giving out advice on the heart.

- You know, when it's not being said in song, what Frollo says is kind of messed up.

- "..Good, now put on the school boy uniform and let me spank you until your name is Mozart.

- Hey! They're only barbarous if they're non-consensual.

- No, no, no, it's not a map, it's just a code in Arabic or maybe ancient Greek.

- I guess the slender, young body of a teen boy is no match for the raw power of an old-school Catholic.

- What a gyp, where's the awesome Latin choir music.

- I don't know, Arno could have scaled that place quicker.

- What? No Frollo fight? No Hellfire? What a fucking waste.

- After 20 years of being in the presence of a religious whack-a-doo, Quasimodo felt qualified to officiate Esmerelda and Phoebus' wedding. Sora felt a strange twinge inside as all sorts of paradoxes were on the cusp of taking place.

- You're not going to like it, I mean we are still talking about pre-renaissance Paris.

- See, Xehanort: The Wonder Years knows what's up.

- Vanitas?! This is not good. WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!

- Yes Riku, there was a point where you dressed up in leather and wore a skirt.

- Well yeah, I mean that hump would be pretty noticeable and people are kind of assholes that way.

- I like Riku, he tends to have the right attitude.

- Really? Because it looks like it's just heading for the city in general.

- Seriously, considering what's happened with a certain individual names Jones, it's a little easy to see Frollo in the modern day controlling things like Twitter, Patreon or Youtube. He will "take care" of the hate-filled vermin, one . by . one.

- (Quasimodo’s heart really doesn’t care) No, it just kept producing things like "Ask again later".

- I will start flame wars all over this world, I will argue over the pettiest of topics and everyone who disagrees with me is just ignorant and a hater and I shall purge them.

- Again we're screwed out of a Frollo fight, it's almost like the game is trolling us, just when we think we're going to start the fight, another stupid Dream Eater boss just interrupts.

- Because at this point, I'm contractually obligated to make an appearance in each of these games.

- I think thematically, Riku fighting Frollo would have been on-point. Listen to the lyrics of Hellfire and see it from the perspective of Riku dealing with his Darkness. Replace Esmeralda (and all reference to her) with either Ansem and Xehanort. This becomes more apparant during the "Mea Culpa" part of the song where you could pretty much have it be Riku wracked with guilt over the shit he's done and no matter how much he's done to fix the damage, in his eyes, it will always be his greatest fault. The entire battle could have been Riku's confession. Considering Nomura's fetish for Catholic imagery, this is probably one of his biggest missed opportunities (His mea maxima culpa if you will).

- I will say that that's one of the cooler ways to do these boss fights, Riku fights it on top of the cathedral and then it loses its wings and falls to the ground, where it is then fought by Sora.

- I guess Sora did jack-shit when it came to helping you.

- (Regarding the Organization becoming human again) "Now we can walk in direct sunlight, listen to happier music and people won't keep writing us as emo punks".

#Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance #Mock Liveblog

[eddycurrents]

The Right Hand of Doom: Part Two - The Middle Years

“Heads”, “Goodbye, Mister Tod”, & “The Vârcolac”

Words & Art: Mike Mignola | Colours: Dave Stewart | Letters: Pat Brosseau

“Heads” - Originally published by Dark Horse in Abe Sapien: Drums of the Dead | March 1998

“Goodbye, Mister Tod” - Originally published by Dark Horse in Gary Gianni’s The MonsterMen | August 1999

“The Vârcolac” - Originally serialized by Dark Horse in Dark Horse Extra #14-19 | August 1999 - January 2000 

& Redrawn for Hellboy - Volume 4: The Right Hand of Doom | April 2000

Collected in Hellboy - Volume 4: The Right Hand of Doom | Hellboy Library Edition - Volume 2 | Hellboy: The Complete Short Stories - Volume 2

Plot Summary:

“Heads” - In 1967 in Japan, Hellboy encounters a house of ill repute where demons look to feast upon him while he sleeps.

“Goodbye, Mister Tod” - 1979, Hellboy’s stateside in Portland, Oregon, investigating the case of a medium whose calling went a little bit weird.

“The Vârcolac” - In 1982, Hellboy tracks down a vampire who has eluded him before and while caught in her thrall, she introduces him to the king of the vampires.

Reading Notes:

(Note: Pagination is solely for these stories themselves and is not indicative of anything found in the original publications or collections.)

pg. 1 - You’ll probably hear “this is one of my favourite pages” and “this is one of my favourites stories” a lot while we go through Hellboy, since in one way or another they’re all my favourites. But really, this is both one of my favourite pages from one of my favourite stories. Nonchalant, cigarette-smoking Hellboy amidst Japanese architecture and statuary is just beautiful. Mignola is a master at setting atmosphere and it really shines through here.

pg. 2 - Hellboy being awakened by a stick to the head is hilarious.

pg. 3 - This is supposed to be a “funny story”. It’s great how Hellboy just deadpans it.

pg. 5 - Speaking of favourite pages, this is just beautiful. The final panel on the page in particular. Great use of silhouette and colour from Dave Stewart. The silent panels giving establishing shots and momentary breaks also help give a definite Japanese feel to the overall story, while Mignola uses these types of panels and sequences in his regular work, the approach here definitely seems to show an influence from manga.

pg. 6 - No explanation for Hellboy’s actions here. I find it funny that Mignola just rolls with it.

pg, 7-10 - And then we get the battle with the flying heads. Still no explanation or exposition as to what’s going on with these creatures, just a follow through with their defeat. I like that Mignola doesn’t hand hold the reader through the story, instead leaving up the details to be discovered by the reader on their own should they wish to.

pg. 11 - Although they were taken from entirely different sources, I like that “Heads” and “Goodbye, Mister Tod” have similar layouts for their introductory pages. It adds a little bit of visual consistency to these disparate tales taken from Hellboy’s history.

Also, for those unaware, Tod is death in German. So, it’s basically “Goodbye, Mister Death.”

pg. 13 - I’m not sure if this is what Mignola is going for, or if it’s just meant as a “don’t do drugs” message, but there’s an accuracy here in that it’s generally not a good idea to mix drugs and magick. I know many will spout off about the hallucinatory and transcendental experiences that they can have mixing magick and hallucinogens, but it ruins a controlled experience. You’ll never know if what you experienced was the true intent of your working, or just fantasy brought on by the drug. You also might not like what you find there, and because your experience was achieved artificially, you haven’t the skill to bring yourself out. It can also become a crutch. Instead of going through building up your own personal acumen, you’re instead giving that up to a substance that may or may not kick you into an appropriate mental state.

pg. 14 - Mignola kind of explains some of this in Hellboy’s reaction. Also a fairly horrifying and interesting explanation for ectoplasm.

pg. 16 - Naturally, it fights back. Hellboy fighting a bunch of spectral tentacles is hilarious.

pg. 18 - As is the end result as the ectoplasm is forced back into Mister Tod’s body. The deadpan humour of “we did get rid of the creature” after Tod’s explosion is wonderful.

pg. 19 - This one was original published in Dark Horse’s Dark Horse Extra teaser that was done in a newspaper style, thus meaning that the comics were landscape rather than portrait. My memory may be failing me, and I’m unable to find what I did with it--there’s a hole on my shelf where it should be, but I think the original format was re-published in The Art of Hellboy.

pg. 20 - Love the layouts here. 

Also the introduction of Ilona Kakowsy, a kind of Elizabeth Bathory type vampire.

pg. 21 - The falling through the floor gag never gets old.

pg. 22-25 - Hellboy’s capture and plight here is one of the more one-sided that we’ve seen, but it’s always interesting to see him fail in rather humorous ways. It gives that sense of victory all the more oomph when he finally achieves it.

pg. 27 - The idea of a giant vampire that serves as king of all of the different breeds of vampires is ridiculous, but Mignola makes it work.

pg. 30 - Probably one of the best conclusions to a Hellboy story. This is one you should definitely experience yourself, I don’t want to spoil it with any snippets or further commentary.

Final Thoughts:

Mike Mignola is great at writing these short stories. Not only do they give us an entertaining little piece of Hellboy’s history, but it’s exciting to see the different cultures and folklore influences come out in the stories. As I said in my thoughts on the first part, it gives us a more holistic view of Hellboy outside of just the main narrative.

It’s also interesting to see him take on a more known folktale like “Heads”, involving the Japanese floating demon/vampire heads. There are also Korean and Chinese variations on this one, and Dark Horse recently published another variation on it in the late Anthony Bourdain’s excellent Hungry Ghosts with Joel Rose, Mateus Santolouco, José Villarrubia, and Sal Cipriano.

d. emerson eddy’s head does not detach at night and fly around searching for food. His body is usually attached. And will predictably wind up at McDonald’s or Tim Horton’s. Please don’t stake him. While he’s not a vampire, either, it will still kill him.

#Give 'em Hellboy #Hellboy #The Right Hand of Doom #Mike Mignola #RaisingHellboy #16

[seeksstaronmewni]

Samurai Jack Season 5 in Review: EPISODE XCII

Here is my absolute favorite Samurai Jack episode, because it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning of the end.

I was on the hype train for the return of @cartoonnetwork​’s Samurai Jack after I saw the Season 5 trailer on February 8th, 2017 A.D. (I made a recent post to celebrate it) One reason was that I became obsessed about The Powerpuff Girls during the nostalgically incorrect Season 7 (the first “reboot” season) due to a liking for the Season 5-6 designs and animation, a part of the "Cartoon Cartoons” I grew up watching... and I was right to expect former PPG creatives on it! This post highlights the events of the episode and why it’s one of the best Samurai Jack episodes ever--and how much I binged on it at first! You can check the episode out here (Season 5 reran Sunday mornings at 3:30A on Adult Swim), and soon on HBO Max. Also, if you’re on Twitter, check the links to my tweets in the underlined text! They’re old tweets and need some love!

If you saw not this episode yet, be aware of SPOILERS!

/!\ SAMURAI JACK This Program is rated TV-14-V. Intense Violence.

X

The day of the season’s premiere, March 11th, 2017 A.D., too late found I that [as] was doing a streaming of Season 1-4 (I came in during EPISODE XXXIII’s “Wild Ride”). Following was a Q&A livestream with Genndy Tartakovsky, during which I tried again and again to call, but the line was always busy. Luckily Season 5′s premiere was going to be for free--online--via the stream at 10:40P! I was so there for it! Of course I watched the televised premiere on @adultswim​, but the stream first!

While I began ceasing from trying to get Genndy on the PPGs again, all of a sudden...

...it began, and I was totally there for it.

A view of a distant town (not Townsville) appeared. All quiet.

That is until an explosion or 2 set off (and not with the stereotypical H-B/Universal “powah-wahh” explosion sounds either). There goes the giant windmill.

Partially and slowly revealed is that some aliens are on the run from the town...

...from those “beetle bots”. GIANT beetle bots, I might add.

There is this precious little moment where, being surrounded by the giant beetle bots, the mother and daughter visually--not by speech--exchange “I love you!” to each other with hearts in place of “love”. Oh, and there’s a baby too.

As the beetle bots come to a stop, the sound grows quiet. A motorcycle is heard approaching. When the motorcycle is revealed close-up, Tyler Bates’ bass-filled music is sparked: a warrior with a serious, menacing face is riding on these hot wheels...

...and he aims his machine gun out... only to launch a projectile at these familiar foes...

...resulting in the first explosion Jack caused in this glorious 5th season.

He slowly circles around with his gun. Is he a threat to the aliens?

Nope. Just pwning more evil scrap metal.

Once I heard the Looney Tunes-esq “pshhh...” of smoke from his guns, I became more certain that Joel Valentine was back on the show... unlike the PPG “reboot”.

As the Season 5 sneak revealed late in February 2017 shows, the warrior’s motorcycle is packed with punk tires that can scrap these pests up! All of his guns are just as lethal... with all of those cool action shots and poses and all.

The warrior then reveals another weapon: not a sword, exactly, but some manner of pitchfork on one tip and a taser on the other. Graphically, he destroys one beetle bot by twisting the wires inside, and proceeds to scrap the rest until one of them knocks... the mask off?

That warrior is none other than the samurai called...

“...?”

Just another day in the life of the samurai! Shouting a charging yell, Jack continues smashing the wires out of the beetle bots with a front scruff that fits perfectly with the mane... a look that is very appropriate, new and fitting for Jack.

The daughter gives a symbol of either “Is it dead?” or disgust. Because of the emoticons that are a major part of their visual language, I suppose that these aliens should be called... emoji-fawns?

“50 years have passed, but I do not age.”

As the samurai continues onward into the sunset, a new intro is revealed for Jack to explain how much worse things are become. The former intro started with Aku’s prologue before the theme song, but Season 5′s intro is pretty much a prologue. This feels true to the nature of of The Powerpuff Girls’ former intro which also started with a prologue, but PPG Season 7-9 has a shorter, different intro (although the extended version has an updated version of the prologue with most of its original Tom Kenny narration, “DJ Avalanche” score, and few of Joel’s SFX).

Regarding Jack’s opening statement, creator Genndy Tartakovsky said that 50 years were passed apparently between the events of EPISODE LII, “Jack and the Baby”, and EPISODE XCII. I think, however, that Jack meant that 50 year passed since he ended up in the future in EPISODE II, “The Samurai Called Jack”. There could be more seasons of this show to explore more adventures of Jack, regardless of the time that passed; if anything, turn those comic books into episodes!

Anyway, for some reason, the rip in time Aku created to send Jack into the future caused Jack’s body to supposedly not grow old, though I believe that, slowly, he still aged to a point. Aku’s still the bad guy (with a new voice, but I talk about this in XCIII’s post), and hope seems lost unless Jack can return to the past.

The intro ends with a slow reveal of the shows title, burning red in the dark, sporting an epic, exciting, modernly cinematic feel to the show. What follows, of course, is a scene just as cinematic...

A quiet, eerie chant of the name “Aku” subtly fills the dark, fire-lit room. This reveals the worship of a great evil which reminds us of how dangerous and powerful Aku truly is... given that “Jack vs. Aku” is the previous episode where Aku has a speaking role (you know... “EXTRA THICK!”), though he vocalizes in a following episode “Seasons of Death”.

The episode’s opening credits reveal that Bryan Andrews and Genndy Tartakovsky are the main board artists for this season, still directed by Tartakovsky himself with art direction by Scott Wills. Apparently, character design was very crucial to this season, so the main character designer of the season, Craig Kellman, is listed at the beginning on all of these episodes. This’s rare for cartoon shows, but this isn’t much different from old CN shows of the 1990′s like Dexter’s Laboratory crediting the model/character designers on the episode’s opening credits.

“They will succeed where so many others have failed, and we will find favor in your glory.”

Seven daughters?! Is that kind of physical labor even possible?! That explains all of Grey Delisle-Griffin’s screams, but she’s soon back on her feet... to raise her children to serve pure evil.

BTW, it’s a good thing that the baby vocals that Joel used are not the common Sound Ideas Series 6000 cries, since that recording is far more annoying. Anyway, I find the scene very intriguing and exciting because it’s all really dark, and that’s something that “kids” shows often weren’t in the past. It all just feels so epic that it sucks you in; am I right?

Back to Jack: the score revs up quickly in this montage of Jack riding around the country, wherever he is, as if he’s on some epic quest. Is he looking for a time portal or Aku’s place?

It’s Fall at this point and Jack’s in a pretty forest. The lighting is beautiful, cinematic and very realistic in this shot--one of my favorites from this episode. The paintings are still by art director Scott Wills; they’re just digital.

Such scenes as this are long periods of no dialogue, where music and sound can help to set the mood--sometimes, a very peaceful mood...

...until, slowly but surely, Jack’s mind is hauntingly messed up. This’s where Tyler Bates’ music hits on the slow, hardcore, eerie, electronic percussion that subtly drives the intense situation that’s not like what kid’s action shows used to be. This would be frightening to younger children, but the sheer terror of this scene is awesome, and the music is hardcore hot!

Some days later, we go to another sequence that occurs at night, where we focus first on a cute little owl hooting (and not the cliche, classic H-B/Valentino SFX Library owl hoot that many cartoons use, including past episodes of Samurai Jack). This goes to show just how realistic Joel’s sound design can be, and I admire him greatly for that attention to detail.

Jack endured another vision that night, where his father claims that he never came back, though Jack revealed that “Aku destroyed the way home!”

The way? How many time portals or such were there?

“He destroyed everything! Everything is burning!”

Woah. Was it something that Jack ate? It may be that that rat was under-cooked...

Anyway, every time Jack was haunted by the visions, a mysterious figure appeared afterward. Now Jack was motivated to find the village that he previously noticed was under attack. Time for a commercial break... and a breather for us fans of this nostalgic series!

As we return from commercial, we see the progression of the 7 daughters in training. They kind of remind me of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten’s students... but taller.

Training is tough on these little munchkins, though--but Ashi is distracted by a light that comes from the outdoors... to which her mother slowly objects. Her strength endures some real testing over time with her mother’s harsh treatment!

“Are you weak?!”

I mean... I felt like it was almost all over for Ashi at this point.

Luckily for her, “Aku’s fire stirs inside”. The art direction on the following scene is very interesting in terms of lighting: black, white and some red. It helps for the simply-detailed designs to stand out more. Since I saw very little of Sym-Bionic Titan at this point, Ashi’s hairstyle reminded me somewhat of Ilana (who has the same hairstyle and same voice actress, Tara Strong).

Meanwhile, Jack walked through the village to find whoever caused the destruction. He comes to a shady figure in the smoke, revealed to be a hot-shot assassin robot who goes by many names...

“Scaramouch the merciless! The Pied Piper of Ruination! The Crooner of Carnage! The Ambassador of Annihilation! The Eradicator of All, baby!”

The chipper, upbeat, overly positive attitude of “Aku’s most favorite assassin” made him instantly lovable. I loved this tin man from pretty much the very beginning. I immediately tweeted about this guy during the online premiere. I took a little while to know who voiced this guy (kind of sounded like Jimmy Gourd to me for some reason), but it was certainly familiar. Tom Kenny is the groovin’ voice of Scaramouche--another iconic voice from the man who narrated The Powerpuff Girls and voiced the Mayor of Townsville, Spongebob, Bon Bon the Birthday Clown and so many other great voices!

“Wait. Back off, beardsly. Where... is... your sword?”

You were probably wondering about that... so was I.

“You... lost... your sword!”

Well, the coloring on the handle of the sword is reversed in this shot, and it was just brown for the previous shot of the sword, but... yeah. Flashback to an episode that appeared not in Season 4. Destined to become an episode in the next season if CN makes any to explore the pre-Season 5 events.

Jack’s new pitchfork/taser thingy still makes the same “ching” sounds that his sword makes (and not the cliche Hollywood Edge recordings), though.

Anyway, Scaramouch was about to tell Aku the news (Aku apparently forgot about Scaramouch ‘cause he’s all like “Who is this?” First line since “Jack vs. Aku”!) when Jack and Scaramouch dance in a duel of musical magic.

“Ooh, nice choreography, baby!” Scaramouch replied. In a tweet I made of that line, I was thinking of cinematography instead and noted this to art director Scott Wills. I probably meant to note this to board artists Bryan Andrews & Genndy Tartakovsky.

Oh I just LOVE that “fffwwwhOOMP!” sound there on the ease-in. Joel Valentine packs the perfect punch into the sound of an object’s weight with those big whoosh sounds.

More important, perhaps: how can Scaramouch play the flute when he’s just a robot? He hasn’t any lungs or lips... that I know of... though he apparently has teeth and a tongue, and I can hear breath sounds during his lines... and his voice sounds not at all robotic!

Jack can really throw some real weight around as he battles against a monster made by music and of building parts...

“That samurai has gone beaucoup cuckoo!”

...but his haunting visions distract him from his heroic efforts...

...once again seemingly attributed to that shadowy figure. This is a “CinemaScope” ratio for this shot, while the show is in standard widescreen (1.78:1 “matted”/”flat”). Those ratios can change a lot, kind of like IMAX (in movies in IMAX, one often sees certain shots of a 2.39:1 movie turning into 1.78:1 on a large screen, and the ratio goes back and forth). Still, ultimately the show is not in “letterbox” widescreen / “scope” format, like most Cartoon Network DVDs say; perhaps Warner Bros. Home Entertainment says this because Star Wars: The Clone Wars (the Dave Filoni series, only produced for Turner networks) was in 2.39:1; this caught on to some [as] shows like Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal and Tigtone (the logos are 1.78:1, however), but most CN shows are just in 1.78:1.

Anyway, knocked out of his mentally overwhelmed state, Jack was back into the fight, but, even though he sliced the flute in half, Scaramouch was the real “musical magic”. He just goes all “Scatman John” on Jack and can control wherever his sword goes, striking it right at Jack!

This is definitely one of my favorite shots from the episode... a slow-mo shot.

Jack seems to be fighting the sword itself until he comes closer to Scaramouch, who soon pulls another cold blade out...

“Dig that beautiful sound, baby!”

...a split blade whose very tone of ring when clashed against an object can cause the clashed object to explode!

Luckily, Jack has good aim for his sword... so good, that it just blows Scaramouch away.

“Looks like you’re the headliner now; huh?”

Was...

...is...

...and always will be.

Before the end of the episode, we see the last of the 7 daughters’ training. The music here just rocks. Its long, harsh percussion and bass-blowing beats really drive all of the action in this sequence.

This shot has great animation and angles, where Ashi shows an opponent who’s boss as she grabs the 3rd arrow shot and kills her with it.

For more sensitive viewers, first note that this and the following shot are violent/bloody enough to earn the episode its “TV-14-V” rating “for some intense violence” (I’d think that “TV-PG-V” might fit it, since it’s not as strong as it could be). However, CN aired some “TV-14-V” rated movies on their “Action Flicks” block back in early 2009 (i.e. Batman: Gotham Night). That’s right: CN, not [adult swim]! Since, like, 2007 or 2008, they aired a lot of TV-PG rated cartoons like Teletoon’s edgy Total Drama franchise, Regular Show, MAD, Teen Titans Go!, and even The Tom and Jerry Show (though that one seems overrated). I can understand why they often rated certain programs TV-PG-V: even a kick or punch could be a bad influence if a kid was prone to imitating action (The G-rated Garfield’s Pet Force strangely earned this rating too). The point is that CN needs to air Samurai Jack Season 5 on, even if some of the episodes are bloody (only few deserve the TV-14-V rating IMHO). They might be able to cut EPISODE XCII down to a TV-Y7-FV, perhaps.

It’s nice to see that Darrick Bachman from Paul Rudish’s Mickey Mouse still served on this lovely season. He’s the head writer for the 5th season... and the upcoming video game Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time.

As a devote fan of “Cartoon Cartoons”, I personally point the sheet timers out since CN’s traditionally animated shows have lesser animation these days, namely SMIP-animated shows. I mean, that Robert Alvarez and Randy Myers did the “Sheet Timing” on this episode of Samurai Jack (animated by Digital eMation) and animation direction on Seasons 7-9 of The Powerpuff Girls (the “reboot” episodes, animated by SMIP). Compare the action sequences of both shows, and the animation/timing will stand out; unlike Samurai Jack, the 2016-2019 PPG episodes (like SMIP’s work on Infinity Train & Ben 10) usually lack weight in their rather gentle, slow-paced animation. Those PPG episodes animate not at all like The Powerpuff Girls Movie or any PPG episode where Genndy Tartakovsky directed.

Here’re some of the new people on Genndy’s team for Season 5: Susy Campos, Andy Flexner, Jackie Sheng and Dick Grunert. Production Assistants (or, in this case, maybe production coordinators) can turn into major creatives for the story or art of the show, so watch for those names in future CN Studios projects! Team Cartoon Network Studios rules!

This season’s prop design is in the hands of @heydusty​, who also contributed effects design and some character design / design clean-up. Dustin D’Arnault and others are new talent that live up to the work of Genndy Tartakovsky! The late and great Chris Reccardi returned, starting off with some prop designs as well. The design clean-up artists were also new to the team; these people clean the character, props and effects designs up after the respective designers did their designs, so they’re just as much designers as the designers listed. These “Clean Up” people are not to be confused for animation clean-up, however.

Next up are the background artists: “Layout Keys”/background designer Lou Romano (The Powerpuff Girls, Cats Don’t Dance, Ratatouille) and art director/Background Painter Scott Wills (The Ren & Stimpy Show, Quest for Camelot) bring the beautiful, colorful locations to life. Leticia Lacy, a former Spümcø member like Wills and Reccardi (and many other Cartoon Network Studios creatives), returned as a color stylist, who chooses the specific colors for the character, props and effects designed.

The voice credits are a bit lacking, since lesser characters are only listed as “ADDITIONAL VOICES”, compared to Seasons 1-4. This happened on Seasons 7-9 of The Powerpuff Girls too; i.e. Ms. Keane play supportive or minor roles in an episode, but Jennifer Hale is just credited as “ADDITIONAL VOICES”, though Keane is an important character to that series. Tara Strong is uncredited for voicing young Ashi since she only vocalizes--no lines. Greg Baldwin is in place of Mako as Mako passed away years before Season 5′s dialogue was recorded. Ultimately, though, Jack and his parents are still their respective voices, and it certainly is Phil LaMarr’s best.

Unlike Seasons 1-4, Genndy Tartakovsky himself served as the voice director; previously Colette Sunderman handled the voice direction. Aku may no longer be voiced by Mako, but Genndy was able to direct Greg Baldwin’s “Aku” voice himself. Robert Serda still served for engineering the dialogue recording equipment at CN Studios.

The score composers score with their super awesome hardcore score. Tyler Bates composed music for Genndy’s Sym-Bionic Titan (I can’t believe that I never watched that show when it aired). Joanne Higginbottom co-composes with Tyler on Primal. Dieter Hartman also contributed score on Samurai Jack Season 5. For this episode, no score mixer is listed. Music Editors are uncredited in this season.

The animation company on most episodes of Season 5 is Digital eMation, which looks much smoother than the designs in the digital animation of Rough Draft Studios (lines looks slightly blobby on close-ups). The animation directors credited on the series are generally the overseas animation directors; in Season 5 they’re listed on the end credits since they relate to the animation studio.

Regarding post-production, I was very happy to see Joel Valentine credited for “Sound Editing” (He used to prefer being credited by the name of his company “TWENTY FIRST CENTURY ENTERTAINMENT, INC.” AKA 21st CENTURY SOUND DESIGN CORP.). I was afraid that it would be like Dexter’s Laboratory Seasons 3-4 (or 5-6) and The Powerpuff Girls Seasons 7-9, where mixing studio Hacienda Post/Sabre Media would do the sound design, but luckily Joel was on it. This time, former Supervising Re-Recording Mixer Timothy J. Borquez, CAS is just a Re-Recording Mixer with Alex Borquez (former Hacienda mixer Eric Freeman moved to mixing and editing sound at Disney Television Animation in 2014); both Tim & Alex were Supervising Sound Editors and mixers on PPG’s reboot era. Also credited for the final mix is Taylor Pierce, then a Mix Assistant. Currently, Genndy’s shows credit Hacienda Post’s facility, Sabre Media Studios, Inc., as the “Audio Mixing Facility”, rather than referring to Hacienda/Sabre as Post-Production Sound Services (Joel Valentine/21st Century Entertainment is just as much a sound service, NOT just editing!). I’m not sure if any other editors are involved at Sabre/Hacienda, but someone was recording and performing foley for this show, and, due to time, they get no credit, which is a crime in my opinion since that brings the show to aural life. Paul Douglas remains as the Supervising Editor and Jim Hearn as the Dialogue Editor for CN.

The Cartoon Network Studios logo for this season was visually simple, as it was just the face reveal scene show inside the logo (CN tends to use episode clips more often than animatics these days). Joel Valentine fit the sound effects to this well, though, with the sounds of a sword (not the ones Joel tends to use) and an anime-like accent. As for the “reboot” PPG episodes, they just did something weird... (couldn’t they show, like, the Hanna-Barbera swirling star inside the CN Studios logo instead?! at least for nostalgia?)

The Williams Street logo ([adult swim]’s production company), complete with the Mark VII jingle, follows since it was produced for that often junky block of CN...

...but, on the digital copy prints, the 2016 Cartoon Network ID follows! Nostalgically, though, I prefer the 1999 “Cartoon Cartoons” ripple ID, which Samurai Jack and even PPG Seasons 7-8 used to show. I mind the 2016 ID on the PPG “reboot” episodes, but I mind it not on Samurai Jack because it proves that, while considered “Adult Swim”, the amazing Season 5 still remains a part of the “new new new new” era of Cartoon Network.

Any viewer of Samurai Jack could start with this episode as Jack’s adventures are just beetle bots here and Scaramouch there, occurring over few days. The other side of the episode, the youth of Ashi, occurs over probably years; this only sets the main events of Season 5 into action with the next episode.

As for me, I did all that I could with the streaming marathon of EPISODE XCII. It went on from, like, 10:48P or something until, like, 7:30A that morning. I couldn’t help but observe the episode again and again and again... I binged on it. I update the credits on IMDb. I tweet much about this episode and its team. By the end of over 8 hours of the episode’s stream, I felt that this was an appropriate response:

Before the end of this post, here’re reasons why EPISODE XCII is one of the best Samurai Jack episodes ever:

This “Cartoon Cartoon” returned after 12 years, 14 months and 5 days. According to Genndy’s forward on the Season 4 DVD, “The big question as we neared the end of production was, ‘Should we end the story and send Jack home?’ At the time, I felt that the proper way to end it would be to do a full-length movie - and still do. Hopefully, that movie is somewhere in the near future...” CN Asia-Pacific did this “Sayonara Samurai Jack” marathon for Season 4, but they were hasty, since the return came a dozen of years later, and Season 4 wasn’t the true end of the story. I feel the same about Disney Channel calling Star vs. the Forces of Evil Season 4′s finale “Cleaved!” the “series finale”, and both Daron Nefcy and fans look forward to more episodes in the future.

The nostalgic design and animation of Genndy’s Cartoon Network Studios team was something that the then-current Powerpuff Girls episodes were certainly lacking.

The action is just as intense and detailed as ever, with the right amount and style of music too. Perhaps even more wicked than before, though I miss “DJ Avalanche” James L. Venable, who wasn’t on it because he was busy with Clarence. Paul Rudish wasn’t on this season either, probably due to his hilarious vision of Mickey Mouse of course. Still, the stakes are high and handled well.

The precious moments of our little emoji-fawn family and the haunting fears of Samurai Jack are draaamaaa

The wonderful Scaramouch is our comic relief for the episode. Thanks, Tom Kenny!

“WATCH OUT!” There’s that classic closing to most of the episodes, just like we remembered it. The credits look just as simple as they looked before, too.

Next Episode’s Review

Tweet version here.

Tweet version as a shoutout to Tom Kenny & Greg Baldwin here.

#samurai jack #samurai jack season 5 #episode xcii #genndy tartakovsky #cartoon network #2017 #march 2017 #cartoon network studios #hanna-barbera cartoons #hanna barbera cartoons #bryan andrews #craig kellman #joel valentine #nostalgia #nostalgic #lou romano #scott wills #dustin d'arnault #chris reccardi #christopher reccardi #robert alvarez #randy myers #scaramouch #scaramouche #adult swim #[as] #[adult swim]