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sanders-specs · 4 years

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Roman’s Playlist Analysis

A/N: So I wanted to take a crack at diving into Roman’s Playlist and analyzing it to the best of my abilities. how each song relates to Roman, his character, his part of Thomas. I thought about the story arc Thomas talked about and tried to put that together a little bit.

Now keep in mind this is just my interpretation of it. I could be completely wrong in my conclusions, and honestly I’m interested to know your thoughts if you disagree with me on anything.

I’m going to leave my basic tl;dr here because this is long as hell. I went into each song so it’s a long read. I’m also going to tag some people who seemed interested in this. I’d say if you were going to read any of the song analysis, to read the last three. they’re my favorite.

tag list: @viva-la-pluto @nonexistent-username @writingfeedsthedarkestones @such-as-we-are-made-such-we-be

Here’s the story of Roman’s playlist:

We start with some pretty obvious songs that show who Roman is. He’s a huge fan of Disney, gay, he loves Broadway and wants to be famous. He’s a hero, someone who will vanquish his foes and come out victorious! He has big dreams, and he’s determined to make them come true! He’s got high expectations, both for himself and for a future romantic partner. He’s confident, determined, sassy, and a huge diva.

Then we go a little deeper. He’s lonely, he’s desperate for love. He wants someone in his life. He wants to achieve his dreams so badly, but he has doubts. He’s unsure of himself. Both as a performer and as a lover. He’s unsure of his place among Thomas’s sides, if he’s important to them. He’s just really afraid, underneath it all. He’s so, so scared of possible failure, of letting Thomas down.

But he still wants to be the leader for the actors and singers and creators following him. He wants to show them that you can get back up again and take off after your dreams.

And then he decides that he wants to be the one to go after his dreams. really, truly, fully. He’s lonely, he’s scared of failure, but he doesn’t want to let that hold him back anymore.

Okay let’s start with the very first song on the playlist, A Gay Disney Prince.

So this one will be pretty obvious for everyone. Roman is a prince, Thomas is gay (ergo Roman is gay). Roman loves Disney. I would’ve been very confused if this song didn’t make it onto his playlist. I would’ve had to gotten through my social anxiety to ask them why. But they have it on there, so I don’t have to.

My interest lies in the fact that it’s the first song on there. Thomas said that while putting together to playlist, they were trying to make it like a story—a beginning, a climatic middle, and an end. So to start off with this song honestly makes a lot of sense to me.

Most kids walked through life but I sang and danced

… Everyone around me could see That Disney meant everything And as I grew up Disney did too

It starts with talking about Thomas (we’re going to talk mostly about Character Thomas, since in this context it feels a little weird to talk about Roman as if he wasn’t apart of a person) growing up loving music and Disney. So we’re starting from the beginning here, talking about when Thomas was younger. And as he grew up and his love of Disney did too, so did his realization of his sexuality. This song, as originally intended by (real) Thomas and Joan is that growing up as a gay man would have been a lot easier had Disney had that representation.

Disney don't shoot so straight You're in the musical scene --- A guy who likes guys who is still humanized in his Film! ---- Try the gay stuff, it's delicious! Please give us more than this bullshit Yeah, that's a bit screwy Makes me say Lefouey Put me in a film Gee, that would be swell --- Who is that prince I see? Very straight, unlike me

And then the stanza that really ties it all together: If only I'd had you in my early years I might have seemed less weird to my non-queer peers Who'd mature into parents, understanding and warm Knowing hetero-ever-after doesn't have to be the norm If they'd have seen

Someone like me

A gay Disney prince

Roman (C!Thomas) longs to have had that understanding as a child, to have that representation in the movies and songs and characters he loves so much. Roman is the side of hopes and dreams and romance. This one falls under the hope category, even though he is all grown up now, he still yearns to see a true gay Disney prince for that validation.

So we start simultaneously in Thomas’s childhood as well as him in the present. At least, the part that Roman cares the most about. Really who he wishes he could be.

Now onto the next song, Wonder Boy. Now, I know this is from a musical (appropriate), and one that I know next to nothing about, so I’m just going to go off the lyrics. Forgive me if I overlook something related to the plot of the show.

This song is one that highlights Roman’s need to be a hero.

High above the mucky-muck Castle made of clouds There sits Wonderboy Sitting oh so proudly

He wants to save the day! Concur the villain! Wonderboy is someone who sits above all and has all these powers to help him with this conquest!

The song goes on to talk about Wonderboy’s arch-nemisis, Nastyman, who has all these powers that make him on level with Wonderboy.

Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman Arch-rival and nemesis of Wonderboy With powers comparable to Wonderboy What powers you ask? I don't know how about the power of flight That do anything for ya? That's levitation, holmes How about the power to kill a yak From 200 yards away With mind-bullets That's telekinesis, Kyle How about the power To move you

Reminds ya a bit of Roman and Virgil huh? Roman is able to have a very big influence on Thomas. He literally holds Thomas’s hopes and dreams and everything he wants to do with his life. Virgil, on the other hand, can stop Thomas from achieving those dreams out of fear. He can be louder than Roman, get Thomas’s attention easier, make Thomas pay attention to him.

It’s interesting to me that in the song, Wonderboy and Nastyman end up joining forces in the end. It reminds me a little of Accepting Anxiety and Moving On, when Roman has to accept the fact that he has to work with Virgil in order for Thomas to be successful. He “joined forces” with the “villain” in order to be “victorious.” Well Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces They formed a band the likes of which had never been seen And they called themselves Tenacious D That's right

Oh Take my hand Young Nastyman And we'll fly Bring out your broadsword There's the Hydra Slice his throat And grab his scrot' You take the high road I'll take the low

In the end, Roman learned that Virgil not only helps Thomas a lot, but works well with him in order for Thomas to create as well as he does. The “bring out your bradsword/there’s a Hydra/Slice his throat” part, to me, in the context of Roman, shows that he’s handing some of the control—and the glory—to Virgil. He’s letting Virgil help and working with him, like a team in a fantasy story learning to work together and finally finding how they work as a team.

And now…Disney Princess.

I love this song. It cracks me up. I think Thomas had it on one of his monthly playlists and that’s how I found it, but I love it so much. I’m so glad it’s on this playlist.

This song is chock full of satire. they take the ridiculous parts of the movies and put them in the song. And seeing as this comes after the Wonderboy song, you could honestly draw a comparison to The Dark Side of Disney which is really the first time Roman realizes he actually has something in common with Virgil, the supposed villain. It’s got the same kind of sarcasm that Virgil adopts in that video with the movies.

But there’s also a bit of wistfulness in it, because, yeah, the Disney princesses are the stars of Disney. The princes didn’t get a couple of cameos in the second Wreck-It-Ralph movie that Disney over-sold. As ridiculous as the situations the princesses went through at times, they do all have these amazing abilities and experiences.

If I were a Disney Princess I would have everything at my fingertips

---

And I wish I could be a Disney Princess So I could fight the Mongolian army

---

I could cry life saving tears I could resurrect dead men with my tears

Mulan, I wanna be you So that I could have a sassy dragon I want a sassy dragon

The song also makes it clear that they want all the good stuff that comes with being a Disney Princess. The attention, the powers, highfiving the ocean.

Also sassy dragon. We all want a sassy dragon in our lives.

I can see how Roman would hear this song and relate to it. Circling back to the first song, there’s no prince out there he can relate to, so he projects onto the heroines, the princesses. They always get the man, after all.

Then there’s this las verse, which I think is the most Roman out of the entire song.

I wanna be a Disney Princess And if I were I'd take no recess to spread the warmth and love It's the best way to live your life I'd be a handsome man's wife And we'd kiss, and we'd kiss, and we'd kiss it’s full of wistfulness and is really the only verse in the song that is more positive and not as sarcastic. Not only that, but it’s romantic as well. Replace wife with husband and you’ve got one of Roman’s biggest dreams: to find the [second] most handsomest prince in the world.

Broadway Here I Come!

From the brief research I did, this is a song from a musical TV series. I’m not going to go too much into it’s original context. And if you’re triggered by sensitive material, I suggest you don’t look it up either.

So in this song, it’s another pretty obvious Roman song. It talks about wanting to be on Broadway, to be famous, to be known, and how hard that success is. For any musical theater performer, Broadway is the ultimate goal. For someone like Roman, who does crave that success and fame, this song is almost like his cries of longing for it.

It shows how hard it is to make it. To be known and gain that success, and how even though some make it look easy, it’s actually very hard.

See I've been bravin' crazy weather Drownin' out my cries I pull myself together I'm focused on the prize

---

The people all are pointing I bet they'd never guess That the saint that they're anointing Is frightened of the mess But even though I fear it I'm playin' all my cards

It’s also got this hopefulness in it. Like the singer has no doubt that they’re going to make it. But there’s also some doubt. Will they still be the same person? Or will they change dramatically?

Will I remain the same, or will I change a little bit? Will I feel broken or totally complete? Will I retain my name when I'm the biggest, hugest hit? Or will I blend in with the rest of the street?

Roman, as much as he acts heroic and like he fears nothing, wants nothing more than to be known, be given the validation, to show off his talents. He knows he’s good, he knows he’s got what it takes, but it’s hard for him to get there. Maybe even to have the confidence to get there. People have to like him in order for him to have all that. They have to like his ideas, his talents. Without their validation, Thomas can’t succeed. Roman can’t succeed.

On to Hallelujah. No, not the amazing Jeff Buckly song (though this song is pretty amazing and catchy).

This one kinda ties in with the last one. It talks about wanting to be someone, wanting to be super star. And having people doubt that, even your own family. Also being inspired by other artist and the creations they make.

I heard it on the radio On my way back home That I'm gonna be someone I guess it was a song they wrote Saying don’t go slow 'Cause you're gonna be someone

--- Some days I don’t think my momma thinks I'm good enough to be a superstar But one day I will show her I'm a diamond in the rough, I'll be a superstar

It also throws that doubt in their faces. It kinda hints that their doubt only makes them want to succeed even more.

'Cause there's a crown Covered in glitter and gold I'm gonna wear it, whether you like it or not Yeah, there's a crown Covered in glitter and gold I’m gonna wear it, whether you like it or not And I’ll be singing Halle-halle-halle-halle-halle-hallelujah Halle-hallelujah Whether you like it or not

Also, no, I’m not going to ignore the ‘there’s a crown covered in glitter and gold’. Give Roman a glittery gold crown 2020.

But yeah, it really goes with the previous song. It matches the theme of Roman wanting to be famous, wanting Thomas to be famous and known. To wear that crown, no matter what anyone else says. No matter what they think, or how much they believe in him. It goes against the doubt in the last song, but don’t we all have those moments of doubt, then confidence, then doubt again? Our confidence can wavier and surge just as much as our anxiety.

Holding Out For A Hero. Ah, what a great song. Still should have been the Shrek 2 version because man could I have made some comparisons, but oh well.

So here we’ve taken a break from the dreams part and gone back to the hope and romance part. This song is pretty self-explanatory. The singer is looking for a partner who will be, well, their hero to come rescue them.

Now, I’m not sure if the intention for the inclusion of this song was that Roman would be that hero, if he is also waiting for that hero, or a bit of both. He is very save-the-damsel-in-distress type of prince archetype after all. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants a prince who matches his own heroic ideals and who would treat him the same. It also says a little something about his standards. He won’t let Thomas settle for just anyone. He’s got to be perfect (Roman’s standards of perfect, anyway).

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn, and I dream of what I need I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure, and it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy Somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet

Yes, I had to include the entire first part of the song. I honestly feel like it sums up Roman’s standards pretty well. He won’t settle for anything less than superman or Hercules himself.

On the other hand, it could be Roman’s standards for himself as well. He has to be that Superman, the savior of all those in trouble and be the dashing white knight. Just as he holds his talents up to high standards, he holds his entire self up to high standards (his…part of the personality?). His actions, his thoughts, his ideas. Everything has to be perfect. He has to be the hero to everyone around him.

If I Dare is so fucking beautiful. Sara Bareilles has such a pretty voice.

I love the message in it too. It’s such a strong “fuck off and watch me” song.

Which, you know, also goes with Roman. It ties in well with Hallelujah. It follows the same themes of people doubting the singer, and the singer basically saying “hold my purse” and going to prove their doubters wrong.

This song is basically saying, dare to hold yourself to higher standards than what others hold you to. Dare to do more than what you thought you could, because you really can surprise yourself.

Seriously just really listen to this song, it’s so empowering. I’m literally going to leave most of the lyrics, aside from the repeating ones. It’s so fucking great.

If I dare to ask it, then I dare it to be true If I dare to risk it, then I know that I'm willing to If I dare to want this, to want more than I have Then I dare to believe I'll have it in the end You climbed the mountain, sent pictures of the view And still can't believe when I started climbing, too You haven't heard that I'm not afraid to fall That I'm not deterred yet until I tell them all I am holding out for more than what I have now I'm holding out I don't want your pity, I won't use your little scraps I don't build my cities with what could get taken back I don't need permission to rise up when it hurts You don't have to listen, but you'll hear me Mark my words When the room gets dark, and I am quiet There's a voice that's soft, like someone's silhouette Saying, "Don't let me go yet" If I dare to ask it, then I dare it to be true (Believe me, I will be) If I dare to risk it, then I know that I'm willing to If I dare to want this, to want more than i have (Believe me, I will be) Then I dare to believe I'll have it in the end

If you can’t tell, I love this song.

It’s got such a confidence surge in it. It also goes with my last point in Holding Out for a Hero of Roman holding himself to high standards. Not only does he want to be a hero to others, and he’s not going to settle for any less, he’s not going to let anyone stop him. He’s not going to let the doubt, the fear, of others influence him. He’s going to take their pity and doubt and use it to make him stronger. He’s going to hold himself to these standards and take his own fate into his hands and be like Merida (no not go on a psychedelic trip with a bear, but good memory). He is going to be the gay Disney prince he needed so much for himself.

Go the Distance continues the “I’ll do what I want” theme. And I don’t mean that in an angsty teen kinda way. Just in a “You can’t strike down my confidence” kind of way.

Now, the tone of this song, while heroic and hopeful, is also a little softer than the others, so it kinda feels like it doesn’t fit, but the lyrics and meaning of it does.

Hercules is probably the closest Disney has to a Disney Prince being the main character of the movie (having the movie named after him, going into his backstory first, all that jazz). At least off the top of my head. He at the very least is the closest to having a hero song akin to Let it Go, Almost there, How Far I’ll Go, Show Yourself etc. (yes, Elsa’s on there twice. Yes, I know she’s not technically a princess, but she also has some pretty badass songs in what is technically considered Disney Princess movies).

And, I mean, it’s an incredibly hopeful song. Hercules is going out to prove himself, to show that he can be the hero he was born to be. I can see how that is something Roman would look to. How he can relate to.

It also goes along with the idea of wanting to be known and seen. Recognized for what you do.

I have often dreamed of a far-off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face

The song is also about finding your place, where you feel like you should be. About keeping up hope as you go through the paths to where you need to be. Where that “hero’s welcome” will be waiting. Hercules feels like an outsider, like he doesn’t belong, so he’s searching for that place.

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance I will find my way, if I can be strong I know every mile, will be worth my while When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

We all feel like that sometimes. Like we’re trying to find our place in the world. In the context of Roman, he’s in the middle of searching for that place. He wants Thomas to be in a place where he feels like he belongs, where he feels welcomed and embraced. In the theater world, maybe. Or YouTube. Maybe even Hollywood. Somewhere he can flourish, really show what he’s capable of, what Roman knows he’s capable of. But also where he doesn’t have to hide who he is, be it a different part of his talents or his sexuality. Roman wants Thomas to be in a place where people will embrace all of Roman.

And he’s going to find it. He’s going to do what it takes to get there.

Flamboyant is a fun one. This one delves into who Roman is, the kind of character that he is, rather than what he encompasses in Thomas. At least, that’s the way I see it. I’m sure if roman were the only side there, then, well, Thomas would just be Roman.

Looking at the lyrics and thinking back on the previous songs, this one makes me think that even though Roman wants (needs) people to like him, he also wants to be unapologetically himself. Extravagance and all.

Don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say You know I like it loud 'Cause that's the only way No taste for subtlety And no time for restraint No, I go all the way

I think we can all agree that this pretty much sums up Roman and the energy he gives off. We saw him in Virgil’s room. In Patton’s. Subtly is not something he’s very good at and he’s not very good with taking other people’s opinions (or suggestions) when it comes to his ideas or his work.

You always see me putting on a show I entertain until it's time to go

He’s always playing up the prince role. The actor role. He doesn’t tone it down. The fancy phrases, the exaggerated movement, the way he dresses.

At least until he thinks no one’s looking.

Alllllright now we’re getting into the love songs. Or…lust songs? Is that a category?

Okay, look, I’m ace, sex repulsed, and clueless at times. I’ll do my best here. But looking at the next few songs, it’s not a very happy story.

Jumpstarted is a song that I honestly can’t really pin down what it’s about. It’s catchy, for sure. I love the harmonies in it. But I can’t tell if it’s a love song or has a different meaning that I’m not going to delve into.

But in Roman’s case, it seems like a song that screams love. Roman is a part of Thomas that falls in love easily. He’s romance, after all (and, yes, lust. Remus too). So this song shows how easily he falls, and how easily those fantasies of romance can take hold.

As two hearts started dancing A new story begins

---

To the races, got my love jumpstarted The only one I want is you (Say it again, hey!) I hear the bells, and they're ringing already Four kids and a big ol' wedding, singing "You" (Say it again, hey!) Now as I make the long walk home You got me feeling like an overdose, singing (You)

Thomas is a romantic. Roman is proof enough of that. In Moving On, he’s coming up with all these wild ideas to get Thomas’s ex back. In other videos when they talk about love, he always expresses the most wistful reaction (or overdramatic. Or, well, both). Thomas sees one cute guy and Roman is already planning the next five years of their lives together. Not only does he want the romance, he craves it, so the tiny semblance of it has him running headlong into it.

And your gravity, my depravity won't take my advice (So nice) I never run while I still (Can)

Brave New Girl makes me think that this shows a wilder side of Roman. I suppose if there’s any side of Thomas who likes to part, it’d be Roman.

Also reckless.

Brave New Girl is a song that seems like it’s about someone who is new to the world, maybe a little naïve, but still out to have a good time. It’s reminiscent of your classic collage story. A freshman girl away from home for the first time and embracing the “collage life.” Parties, hook ups, your stereotypical definition of having fun (in the case of collage movies and such).

She wants a good time, no need to rewind She needs to really, really find what she wants She lands on both feet, won't take a back seat There's a brave new girl, and she's coming out tonight

Roman out of everyone else is the side that would really push Thomas to just let go, have fun. Maybe if Thomas wasn’t so introverted, he would be able to meet the love of his life. Maybe if Thomas didn’t hold himself back (or I suppose if Logan and Virgil didn’t hold him back) then they could have more fun and accomplish his dreams. And meet the love of his life!

This could also be reminiscent of Thomas’s coming out? It’s not something I want to try to “analyze” because that’s something personal to Thomas and also not something I’m too familiar with. I don’t really want to step on any toes. But with the song talking about a new person entering the world, and “uncovering [their] eyes” I thought to mention it here. After all, it would be after that that Roman really would get the chance to be fully himself.

Every Boy is very self explanatory. It’s just Roman being gay.

‘I just wanna kiss every boy in the world’ is repeated so many times, ya’ll. Like at this point you’ve probably listened to it, but that one phrase takes up most of the song.

It’s very much showing Thomas’s sexuality, because again, that’s a big part of Roman since he encompasses romance and sexuality.

It also shows a lot of wistfulness, because Thomas is single and doesn’t have a boy to kiss. Even the tone in the song kinda reflects that. He’s lonely he just wants to kiss a boy. All the boys. In the world.

But yeah Thomas really likes boys. Roman really really likes boys.

Okay now we’re just to the point of Roman being sassy.

Primadonna definition: a very temperamental person with an inflated view of their own talent or importance.

Sound like someone we know?

The song, Primadonna, really just reminds me again of Roman and how he acts and presents himself.

Living life like I'm in a play In the limelight I want to stay I know I've got a big ego I really don't know why it's such a big deal though

---

All I ever wanted was the world I can't help that I need it all The primadonna life, the rise and fall You say that I'm kinda difficult But it's always someone else's fault

The song also goes back to the whole Roman doing what he can to achieve his dreams, in a way. He is going to do what he can to get what he wants, but he doesn’t want to change who he is in order to get there. These last few songs really show that too, I think. The first songs, while showing longing for his hopes and dreams, these are showing that Roman honestly isn’t afraid to be himself. He’s out and proud, he’s got an ego (he is an ego), he’s sassy, extravagant, maybe a bit high matinance, and he doesn’t want to or plan to change for anyone.

Though…

King kinda has an exception.

Remember how I said Roman falls in love easily?

Yeah, this song kinda shows how that can go wrong. He clings to his loves, we’ve seen it. His refusal to let go of Thomas’s ex really shows that. Of course, there are lot of layers to that, but Roman was just as guilty about making Thomas (Patton) hold on to the hope of winning him back.

And, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I was a king under your control And, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh I wanna feel like you've let me go

Maybe in this case it means that Roman (Thomas) felt that perhaps his ex did have some semblance of control over him still. He must have, if Thomas was still thinking about him.

I don’t want to reach too far with this comparison. Thomas left the details of his ex pretty vague. But still, it’s the only reason I can think of that this song would be on the playlist. Or the fact that Roman, while very forward and dramatic, can fall under the gaze of a pretty guy.

Cheap Queen is a song I had to look into a bit to understand it. Cheap queen is “a drag term for someone who is resourceful, who makes something out of nothing, who is a creator on a budget” (this is coming from the singer). While Roman isn’t a drag queen, he would take inspiration from them, and that definition can describe the kind of creator Roman is.

But there are some lyrics here that put in the context of Roman make me think that it shows more of his doubts.

I've been alright I've just been doing the same shit I've always liked (Smiling for the audience) Like smoking and movies and homies who bring me wine I've been going out too much (Queen) And talking 'bout myself too much (Oh, smiling for the audience)

Side thought: This song feels very…1920’s actress smoking in a green room vibes.

Why? I have no idea. Maybe it’s the background audio.

But it makes me think about this diva in a swing dress, a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Yeah, I watch too much TV.

I can be good sometimes I'm a cheap queen I can be what you like And I can be bad sometimes I'm a real queen I can make grown men cry

Something about this verse makes me think that it’s a bit of Roman trying to prove himself? To himself, to the others, to his audience. While still trying to keep up his persona. Again, he wants people to like him, to like what he does. He is Thomas’s ego after all. He wants to please the masses.

Humility is where we get real.

So far, I think we’ve gone from who Roman is on the surface and slowly dug down. We’ve seen his insecurities, his hopes, his dreams, his more sexy side, his desperate side.

Now we’re seeing the lonely side.

Calling the world from isolation 'Cause right now, that's the ball where we be chained

---

I'm the lonely twin, the left hand Reset myself and get back on track I don't want this isolation See the state I'm in now?

Now I this verse isn’t intentionally targeting towards Roman, complete with the twin part, then I don’t know why it would be on this playlist. He feels isolated. Romantically, socially. Perhaps even among the sides. Look at the point where we are right now in the series. He had to give up on a huge dream with the callback. He’s being put on the back burner, Remus—the side he said is everything he doesn’t want to be—is now known to Thomas which means he has to deal with him even more.

If I pick it up when I know that it's broken Do I put it back? Or do I head out onto the lonesome trail And let you down?

I think he’s scared of letting Thomas down. Of not reaching the goals he sets out for them, of Logan being right. That the path Thomas is on is not one that is right for him. So he’s alone and scared and doubting himself and doing everything he can not to show it

Following that, Ain’t Got it Like That shows a bit of self-understanding, if I phrased that right?

Roman knows that he’s the only one of the sides who really wants these hopes and dreams for Thomas. Patton wants Thomas to be happy, so sure he supports Roman, but if Thomas were to listen to Logan or Deceit (and suppress Roman, his true hopes and dreams), then he would support them too.

One in a million, maybe it's me The chances of winning are slimmer than three Moving and shaking and makin' it happen Producing and singing while people was trappin' Chasing a dream and living for free A whole lotta people help the hell out of me A job ain't the move, I'm just a musician I followed the path, continued the mission

Roman’s going to continue being himself, doing his job, and trying to make himself heard. Even if he’s lonely and has self-confidence issues. He’s nothing if not determined. And as the song says, “a whole lotta people help the hell out of me.”

One thing Thomas has is friends and family who support and encourage him. They help to feed into what Roman wants and helps to give him the reassurance that he needs that he’s on the right path.

I got soul and a whole lotta songs I get love even if I'm dead wrong And I know that I got what I need Even when I don't got what I want

Roman is convinced he’s right. Look at how hard he fought Logan during their episode. He knows he can be wrong, he knows he’s not perfect, but he also knows that when it comes to the path Thomas is on, he is right and he is at least confidant in that fact.

Look I've thinking that I'm at the limit The fact I need money with all my decisions I want it all and all, I'll admit it If you never had it, I know that you get it They say that everything ain't gold, but damn I mean, I... wanna little of my own I'm sayin' that I know that (I know that) They say that pressure makes diamonds But I just wanna pay my bills on time

I feel like this song really shows that he understands that being a singer and performer is hard and definitely not the easy way out. The is really the only song here that talks about money. It’s hard to make it as a performer. YouTuber, actor, you name it. Roman knows this, but that doesn’t stop him from dreaming and being determined to go after those dreams.

God I love these last three songs

Do you guys have those set of songs that are like your inspirational songs? Ones that really make you feel good and the lyrics really speak to you and make you want to really go after what you want? Songs of hope. They sometimes make you cry if you think about the lyrics too much.

I feel like those are these songs for Roman. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

Dreamer is another song where I might just have all the lyrics here, because the entire song just feels like Roman talking to himself. Reminding himself of all these things.

Dream, little dreamer Don't care what they say Don't let the pain of their failure Tear you away

The other Sides. Logan, mainly. The naysayers on YouTube, the old friends who don’t believe in him. The people around him who fail at what he’s trying to do. He can’t let that get to him. He can’t let them get into his head. He has to keep going.

You can do anything What would you do if I told you You would always succeed

He has to remember that he can do anything. Thomas is capable of anything.

And well we're afraid of the same things Scared to end up alone Scared that no one will remember our names And well we're afraid of the same things Scared to try and to fail Scared our best isn't good enough

This really circles back to some of the middle songs. He wants to be remembered, known. He’s afraid he’s going to fail. That Thomas will not only not achieve his dreams, but that he will be alone through it all. Not even a shoulder to cry on. He scared of that failure. Scared of letting Thomas down. And through that…Thomas is scared of letting himself down.

Dream like you won't fail Sing like no one's there Dance like you don't care

And I mean you really have to. If you think too much about that failure, that fear, then it can hinder you. You have to move through life like you’re going to achieve your dreams, that no one can hold you back, not even yourself.

Even if you are scared. Even if you do really, really care.

Don't fear, little dreamer You'll get there one day And I know that it's scary But you'll succeed

Don't fear, little dreamer Let them hear you sing What would you do if I told you That we'll always believe

He has to remind himself of all of this. This support, this encouragement, is something every creator needs. It’s the fuel that keeps us going. So having this, in just a song, is so important for him.

And we all Oh we question the same things Why does life seem unfair Why does loneliness hurt so much

This part really highlights Roman’s feelings. Again, he’s lonely in this. He feels like life is unfair, that a wedding is getting it the way of achieving a dream he’s so close to.

And we all Oh we question the same things What is my purpose in life Why does love never seem like enough

I don’t really have too much to add to this one. I feel like it’s something that stands by itself. I can really see how Roman feels this way, asking himself these same questions.

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You're exceptional You're original So stay true to your soul Don't let them take that away You're magnificent You're sensational And the dreams that you're dreaming will surely come true one day

More reminders that he needs to tell himself. That he needs to remember. He can’t let the doubters hold him back from his dreams. He can’t let the setbacks stop him.

I can imagine Roman having this song on when he’s feeling down. When the weight of all his failures and his loneliness feel like too much. I can picture him hanging on to every lyric, learning them and memorizing them so call on later when he starts to feel those doubts again.

Dream, little dreamer

This next song makes me cry.

Paving the Runway (You’re Gonna Fly) is so fucking good. It’s so pretty. The piano is gorgeous, the message is beautiful, it’s so soft. I love it a lot.

Okay, anyway.

This is another one that is there for encouragement. A reminder not to give up. Not even when your wings are broken and battered.

Go after your dreams, as crazy as they may seem Go chase all the stars in the sky Baby, I'll be paving the runway 'Cause I know that one day you're gonna fly Darling, stand on my shoulders Up where it's carefree, simple and good Baby, soon you'll be older You will reach higher than I ever could If ever your wings, are tired and broken things Can't see through the tears in your eyes Baby, I'll be paving the runway 'Cause I know that one day you're gonna fly

I can see Roman being tired. His job is not an easy one. He wants so much for himself, for Thomas, but it’s so hard. The rejections, the mistakes, the hardwork going into a project only for it to not do well. It’s enough to beat you down, flood you with doubts.

Think about the songs leading up to this. Growing up without seeing yourself in your favorite movies, trying so hard to work towards his dreams of singing and acting. Trying so hard to find love, only for it to be just as hard. being in this lonely place where he feels like he’s working by himself, not even the other sides really helping him (Patton being an exception at times, but even then, when it came to wedding vs callback, Patton went with wedding).

This is a song I think Roman would really need after all of that.

Another thing I like to think about with this, though, is that Roman is the one singing it to others. He’s been there, he knows what it’s like. He’s got bandaged wings that are still strong. He wants to be able to pave the runway for those coming after him. He wants to be a beacon of light for actors and singers and creators who were once or still are in his position, taking their hand, and helping them up, getting them running, and watching them fly towards their own dreams.

Maybe it’s a mixture of both. Maybe he’s not going to be the first gay Disney prince, but he can sure as hell make way for him, wherever he may be, while still going after his own dreams.

Now, imagine:

Roman is watching these other creators, all flying off towards their dreams. he take a deep breath and starts running himself.

GO is the song that plays as he takes off with his own bandaged and tattered wings.

Why are you waiting for Another open door You've seen it all before GO Exit stage left Lay your act to rest Don't second guess GO Do Do Do Do Do Do, Do Do

The fear within Has held you hostage Break free and live

Roman has been doubting himself. He’s been scared and lonely and not sure if what he’s doing, what he wants, is right.

He wants to think it is. No, he knows it is. So why is he holding himself back? He needs to just go, to do it.

I like that this song leaves it off with an ending, but not one that just ends, if that makes sense. Roman is off, going after his dreams. he picked himself back up and he’s off. What is he going to do next? Where is his next destination? Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.

#roman sanders #sanders sides #long post #roman's playlist analysis #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders

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