#I like making myself laugh basically

[eelektrossfan]

Random and fun doodles, silly sketches if you will

#fma #I enjoy making silly art more than angst art #I like making myself laugh basically #fma 03 #fma 2003 #fma cos #conqueror of shamballa #cos edward #edward elric #alphonse elric #alfons heiderich #fullmetal alchemist #fanart #doodle page #vermiixart #however I wasn’t smart enough to come up with something more clever than depression brothers #and it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life #cos is a tragicomedy to me

[ineed-to-sleep]

Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved kuras #kuras #sleepyscribble #oc.emma #my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk #so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game #she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk #the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides #a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse #having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it' #but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise #and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl #bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it #anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone #also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine #bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee #but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself #and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[puppyeared]

#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit #ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of #them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh. #constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in #the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing #so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei #borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet #they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities #thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change #other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic #but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice #presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on #smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick #to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz #i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating #and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not #yapping #stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs #oc talk #presto #shuffle

[afniel]

Realizing that I went and wrote a bunch of intentionally aro relationships and my partner was like, "Idk, it seemed like normal relationships to me," and I was like, "I mean yeah it's not that different from ours, I guess, I was kind of going for 45° off from 'normal' romance," and they're like, "Okay, but ours is also pretty much like that," and I'm like, "Yeah, true," and now I'm like, damn hold up, are we both some kinda arospec and THIS is how we figure it out? Because I wrote a long-ass fic about intentionally queer-coded (among other things) robots? Life is weird, man.

Like I've been prone to extreme long-term crushes on a very few (mostly unattainable) people over the years, but I wouldn't have known what to do with them even if they worked out, and cough my ex was not even one of them. I just kind of assumed I was failing to feel a thing I was totally supposed to feel, there, and quite a lot of that relationship emotionally was me going, "Okay, I care like This, but I think I'm supposed to care like That? I'm pretty sure he cares That way. I'm not sure I do, but I mean, there's really only one way*, so maybe I'm just misreading this and actually I do care like That, I'm just bad at it."

*This was me being very incorrect, it turns out. There's all kinds of ways to love someone. It's a very inadequate and nonspecific word.

When I confessed my feelings (which I'd been sitting on for a year) to my partner, their reaction wasn't to be particularly romantic about it. In fact they told me they'd help me move to California if I wanted to. And after I got over my initial confusion of being kissed on the forehead (which is also not super romantic as a gesture and I couldn't decide how to even read that so I kinda skipped over even trying for a while), I was thinking, Awesome, that is a yes. They have promised to assist me with difficult stuff, and said nothing at all about emotions, because that's not a big deal anyway. The important thing is that I can rely on them and vice versa. Cool. We are basically together forever now. Which ended up being true. I just never moved out and now it's like 13 years later, go figure. But that's not what I think actually passes for reciprocating feelings for most people? Worked great for me though.

Anyway I feel like I have accidentally learned something about myself, lol. I guess romance is okay I guess, like it's not repulsive, but seriously, it's WAY more satisfying to me to guess someone else's Quiplash answer because you know they know you would think it's fucking funny, and you do, and because you think it's funny and you're well aware they know your type of humor and you know theirs and that you wouldn't expect them to use "cum" as an answer because that's not usually how they roll, so of course that is the only answer they can possibly give, which is instantly evident to both of you with no conversation whatsoever on the topic. When you got just one brain cell and it's quantum entangled with their just one brain cell so you have a lot of null discussions where nobody has to say anything but it's fully understood anyway, that's The Dream, if you ask me. And like I don't really think that's romantic by the usual definition. You can have that with friends and family, too. But that is what it turns out I prioritize in relationships, which I'm starting to feel like isn't what the majority of people are here for?

TFW it's hard to tell because I've been assuming I'm totally alloromantic so everything I experience must be typical totally alloromantic stuff too, but I'm starting to think it isn't maybe? But how do I even tell, this is like being colorblind, lmao.

#tfw you based a completely ace/aro relationship system off what ends up just being your normal IRL relationship #my partner read Failure To Compile and just went 'so we're coprocessors right' and I said 'yeah basically' #it was apparently not at all subtle to them and why would it be lmao they basically just Know What I'm Thinking #we have a lot of conversations that are just...*several facial expressions and a glance or two* them: 'no.' me: 'OH COME ON' #and yeah that's The Experience. 'what if an entire subculture's relationships were all like that' well it'd be great that's what #and also evidently immediately recognizable to a bunch of arospec readers #making me have to also question some long held assumptions about myself #well that's cool though. I'm always down to understand me better. and hey what a funny way to do it too #what's the point of writing something and trying to get kinda deep with it if you aren't learning from it really #this just means I'm so successful I even got myself somehow #flawless victory #aromantic #arospec #also yes the Quiplash thing happened for real just last night #I said their answer before it was even revealed and they just assumed I had somehow loaded the stream faster than them #because obviously I know what they put right? #I laughed my ass off tho

[hydrachea]

Yesterday's Windtrace session was utter chaos but it peaked with this game. Why play by the rules when you can *checks notes* go on a double date.

#not pictured: the other childe starting off by sitting next to me and telling me i look good #force of chaos #genshin #zhongchi #... zhongchi² #i love when other players pick matching characters #literally the first game i was with a wanderer and a nahida and we just hung out like 'how's retirement' 'im with my new mom' #if i have tartaglia the odds of someone picking their zhongli are SO high i live for it #another game i was with 3 raidens #unfortunately couldn't make it 4 since i don't have her myself #a bit that made me laugh on the same map with another game: round with a lumine and a zhongli #the lumine very excitedly follows me around and sits next to me #spots the zhongli and goes #'I STOLE YOUR BOYFRIEND' #windtrace am i right #if anyone is wondering what's being said in russian in that first screenshot #it's basically 'this is beautiful' #so really we were all on the same page

[flameswallower]

I was just about to type something about how occasionally I manage to find a "cool zone" of ego where nothing can make me feel really bad about myself, but I also have a realistic sense of my own importance/relevance/competence and an ability to laugh at my mistakes. I was going to frame this as a happy medium.

Then I realized that actually, being insecure and prone to feeling bad about myself also tends to make me a lot more prone to bouts of arrogance or grandiosity or not being able to laugh at (or own up to) my mistakes because they feel like a super big deal, humiliating and potentially life or relationship or "career" ruining. Just as outsize feelings of "I'm the worst person in the world" and "everything's always my fault" are self-obsession and grandiosity in disguise, I think a lot of problems we often attribute to people thinking too highly of themselves or being too confident/secure in their abilities and ideas are actually, or at least can be, insecurity and self-hatred in disguise.

I dunno, man. Liking yourself and valuing yourself and seeing yourself as a lovable person is good. I don't think there's actually much, if any, danger that you'll accidentally like yourself too much and thereby cause problems. I think the more you like yourself, the easier it is to be considerate towards other people and act in accordance with what you value and not freak out every time you make a mistake or discover you were wrong about something or get told to change some of your behavior.

#a lot of my life is spent sort of swinging between the poles of 'i'm so great and everyone loves me' and 'i'm literally the worst person' #more and more i feel like i've cracked it #and the secret is that the first state isn't actually feeling good about MYSELF #it's feeling good about ways others respond to me and/or things i've achieved #and telling myself 'this makes up for my inherent inferiority as a human being this Proves I'm Good' #what i'm talking about here is rather a sense of 'i'm basically fine i'm a decent person with some flaws who is ultimately well-meaning #and quite likable. and i can just chill and laugh about the stupid shit i sometimes do'

[valentinojoni]

thinking of a early 2000s ronance beetlejuice type au where they are both ghosts stuck in limbo in hawkins blissfully unaware they are ghosts until a very unstable family moves into their home dragging along a sarcastic and brooding max who instantly forms a bond with the two loving and peculiar lesbians from the 80s that are seemingly stuck in the attic, and together the three of them uncover mysteries, cause general chaos for max's family and figure out how the afterlife works.

#im still fighting with basic grammar ignore me #I was going to make them trailer park ghosts because that idea made me laugh but #I feel like both robin and nancy would really love miniatures and them having a model of hawkins is cute to me #steve is in there somewhere im sure #talking to myself #ronance

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????? #my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??)) #like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS) #might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

[corset]

Really feeling that experience of being an autistic person in an environment that's terrible for me where I'm basically trying to figure out really hard how to not be an emotionally unstable wreck all the time who throws "childish tantrums" over "dumb shit" because I hate feeling like my family always expects me to just snap whenever anything happens and whether or not I do just depends on how much Repression Juice I've got left in the tank or how Unshitty the circumstances have been for the last week or even few days

#I am literally doing the best that I can for myself but there's a lot of stuff that I communicate actively to other people in this household #that never gets better or that just gets scoffed at and my environment is horrific because we're very poor and everyone in this house is #disabled and my workplace environment fucking sucks and I spent 15 years of my life basically being completely unaware of just how high my #supports needs actually are and so I'm also trying to mentally juggle and figure that shit out so I can at least make an attempt to take #care of myself the way I need to but when so many things are basically looking at you trying to cope and laughing in your face and then #punting you down from the mountain you're climbing with a bat and basically saying 'how cute and stupid of you to think you could possibly #make progress or take care of yourself? don't you understand your circumstances dipshit?' #IT'S KIND OF PAINFULLY DIFFICULT HAHA. #I basically deal with this by holing myself up all the time just trying to keep my bullshit away from people #I'm very sick of it #Like even when I try to have a conversation when I'm getting really upset or angry about something #one person in this house is impossible to talk to at all because she's argumentative as hell about literally everything and anything #including stuff you didn't even say. Like I have no idea what she's even saying to me half the time and she almost never listens #the other one is my aunt who is so emotionally repressed she can't even have a conversation with a whiff of vulnerability in it #and then my mother just shuts down and ignores me ! Which Makes It Worse!

[semercury]

i miss things.

#stuff sarah says #i think i mostly miss the tight knit community with close friends #writing is a very lonely hobby and it was nice having a hype crew #i went back to look at memes i made for old longfics. i miss doing that. #i still share wips with some people and love adore and appreciate the feedback i get #but idk. the energy was different back then. but i think my energy in general is different now #everyone including myself is out here fighting for their lives #no time to make and laugh at memes about niche fics #idk. i feel like this makes me sound ungrateful. i'm not #i just miss the tiny writer club i had with a certain group of friends #feels bad bc i'm basically the one who set it on fire on account of me being insane #idk. i'm tired. i feel gross. i cried in my car bc my food was missing half the order or at least what i was used to #so if that tells you what kind of mental state i'm in rn... #and on top of it i'm trying to write a heavy scene #like hi you almost died but can we talk about the drunk phone calls? please stop telling me how much you want to die #i love you and i don't want you to die. i already had someone die in my arms a few years ago i can't handle that again thanks #cool. love you. no smooches yet. let's get our daughter and get the fuck out of here i'm tired #edit: and another thing. i miss just interacting with fics in general. mine and others #but alas i'm terrified #if i go on ao3 and am happy something is Going To Get Me #there's fucking ooze there and i'm tired of it! i want to use my fic site again!!!!!!! #i miss it!!!!!! i miss getting so hyped over other people's writing and feeling like i can say that!!!!!!!!! #i don't feel like i'm allowed to anymore and it sucks!!!!!!!!! #i don't want to read and not be hype. but just going on ao3 takes so much energy and effort and reading is so so hard these days #that i know i won't have enough energy for a proper comment so like. why should i enjoy what someone made if i can't even share that #joy with them? #and i know that's so so so stupid bc i think very few people would ever expect that of others? #like i know at least for me i'd rather have someone read and not interact than not read at all #not that it looks like i think like that bc i haven't replied to anyone in forever #but that's bc i go to and then i get the shakes bc i'm nuts and there's ooze!!!!! i'm tired of the ooze!

[noelashe]

Oh yeah thats right that thought had a second half too the unawareness actually makes me so unfunny when i am put on the spot to be funny for example or like when it comes to memes i just dont get alot of them sometimes idk how to beeeee Hipppp

#Also bad at ghost stories Why am i talking about this Well im overcaffeinated and thinking about many things um theres anothet thig #I fforgot it #EDIT I REMEMBERED Um no i didnt #Wait yeah Basically im only funny for myself like when i type a certain way or sometjing its to make myself laugh so im pretty sure #Thats why im so unpopular.

[papermachedragons]

YOU'RE THE MERWAINCELOT 40K ANON FROM THE OTHER YEAR???!!!! 😱😱 take the throne, by all means, it sounds like an absolute whopper of a fic 😍😍😍

I AM!!! AHHHH!!

You got me, I totally am 😝🙈

Look look look. While I am rubbing my hands in excitement and plotting like (a slightly menacing) little gremlin to take the merwaincelot tag with storm, I respect you (and love your fics) far too much to take the throne. I just wanna share it with you! You brought me into the merwaincelot world with just one fic and I already started writing merwaincelot after that, and then when I read even more of your fics (more than once), I was so inspired that it changed some of the ways I had written the pairing and how they interact with each other in such a relationship. I just wanna hang out with you in this tag so baaaaaad c:

When I am telling you, you're not ready for this fic, you don't even know how much you're not ready for this fic. It's got intrigue, it's got mystery, it's got true-to-the-series-episode-like-formula; it's got a magic "foe" that isn't just a villain-sorcerer-of-the-week-because-merlin-needs-to-defeat-some-bad-guys-and-throw-magic-around; it's got soft moments, tender moments, angst and, I kid you not, so much merwaincelot, it could tide you over for a full year

So yes. I am that anon 👻

I did take a screenshot of your answer back then, and your words still help me if I'm feeling a little hopeless about it all. But truly, most of the time, I get by with just writing for me and making myself happy with writing what I want. I'm just excited to share that with the rest of you on this merwaincelot boat when I get to it 💛

#!!! surprise its me!! #hehe thank you for finding me (not that i made it very hard) (i practically wrapped myself up in a bow on your doorstep and rung the bell) #(oh whats this mysterious box on my doorstep that says '40k merwaincelot anon' on the front what could it possibly be??) #(its an 80k merwaincelot fic! now with a username attached!! oh my! what a surprise! who would have guessed!) #(what a twist what a twist) #so now you know whos door to knock on if you wanna check on that fics progress and breathe down my neck #(in a nice 'im just excited about this fic and wanna support you' but also 'im-shaking-you-like-a-snowglobe excited' way) #anyway thank you for your ask it made me very happy and very excited and made me laugh #im just excited and i want others to be excited and you seem excited so im super happy #thank you for dropping by! And asking me about my merwaincelot fic! Thus topic is basically instant dose of dopamine for me #and now i feel like bouncing off the walls so im feeling GREAT! #dragons answer #dragons talk #dragons talk in tags #lit <3 <3 <3 #(i would be lying if i said i wasnt looking the most forward to dropkicking a link to this fic in your ask once i post it) #(So look forward to that although I make no promises about when it's gets done) #(You'll see it when you least expect it)

[shuruzy]

oh i forgot to mention i DID finish my game jam project yesterday evening WOO! So if yall wanna play a 1 hour demo of a dungeon crawler-ish game, it is heeere.

some art i made below of some of The Goofies in this game since I don't know where else i'd post them:

#gamedev #when i first set out to make this game..... i was actually thinking i'd complete it POINT AND LAUGH RRAGHHHH #it wasn't even that the scope got bigger i just somehow thought i could get six dungeons done in 1 jam. #including all the dialogue & stuff. #Seeking J:USTICE (another jam game i made last year where I DID make 6 dungeons in 1 jam) did someting to me. #like bro J:USTICE required little to no custom art to make or cutscene choreography of course it was easier to get things together #anyway the plan's to write a devlog/jam postmortem in a few days for this demo's process so i'll talk more about it then. #basically tho: it was fun! and i actually paced myself well enough to not stress much thru the jam. i've gotten better at scheduling lets g

[britneyshakespeare]

you know what it is. i talk about how vain he is and how he only talks about himself and that is the impression a lot of people have of him and it is the impression i favor leaning towards. he has a very coded way of self-disclosure; he often seems like he's trying to impress people but i know him to be not-the-most-assured in a lot of ways. when i first complimented him on his poetry and told him how much i liked a few pieces (and i loved some of what i read before i knew his last name, so when i read his poetry i did not assume the person whose poetry i so loved was, well, that retired male model i met in passing every now and then). when i told him that. he was very moved by it.

and i do talk about how vain he is; i do say he only talks about himself; but every now and then when he does say something about me it is not at all hidden that he does admire me. some of what he says that seems to coded to impress me or to get my validation, i know he is doing this towards me because he thinks im this smart poetry girl. and i am? i am that, he's not wrong. i think it makes me feel hopeless to think that he really does respect me and care what i think of him because i'd rather he didn't. i'd rather him be this charming but shallow pretty boy which i think he has been seen as by a lot of people throughout his life. despite that he is hardworking, despite that he has (or at least tries very hard to have) an intellectual side. perhaps what he says about himself is so often coded to please me even while it is fishing for my attention, and i want to see that as a reflection of his own self-regard but i don't know that it is.

i don't know that it's not, but i don't know that it is either and as neither of us is very frequently vulnerable with the other, it's not fair for me to say which is the case. or even that there's a "which" like it can't be both. i don't know that he admires me; i don't know that he sees me as this girl who is (or at least used to be) very charmed by him. i do know that he always comes to me and asks me about poetry because as far as he's told me, i'm the only one who has ever cared about his. for all i know that could also be bullshit, but then why should i assume it is either? i'm quite unfair to him in my assessments of him. i do have to admit, he has never actually seemed to have a disrespectful or unfair assessment of me.

#he told me today i was 'exquisite' basically #i think sometimes he's very shocked by my general lack of ambitions. while i do have all this artistic knowledge #i'm like some sort of poetry guru to him. which does make me laugh a little #his estimation of me is overstated. #im a fairy to him! a strange creature he doesnt understand #like how rochester used to call jane eyre a fairy. except we're both pretty good-looking #tales from diana #i dont call myself good-looking often either but i know other people see me as that. so. it is what it is #thats another piece of the puzzle is back in 2020 during quarantine he was... well he still is #but he WAS initially very flirty w me and sort of asked me out 'if we ever get out of this' (quarantine) #whether he sees me as some pretty smart girl who's 8 years younger than him. well. #thats probably exactly what he sees me as #although im not pretty enough or smart enough. or hell even young enough anymore #god we're both old now. #i do promise you reader i won't marry him

[snarltoothed]

yo barbies do have absolutely inhuman proportions and theyve given ken a truckload of cake. just an observation after play acting a barbie affair to a toddler and trying to reiterate the points her mom was trying to make every time she was upset through Ken, who had to be the voice of reason the way Barbie and Barnie kept hitting & yeling at him bc he had a baby with Barnie and their baby can magically fly and is causing a whole lot of problems and infected Dr. Mouse with her magical flying ability but neither of them are good at it and they keep sustaining what should be fatal injuries by jumping off of rooves and i got nowhere in probing about why Baby and Dr. Mouse want to hurt themselves and won’t just rest it off like Dr. Mouse said before she got magic infection and like Dr. Unicorn said before that before he died (permanently i guess she never brought him back lol) because this little girl had more insistence toward playing barbies for “just a little longer” than i have ever had toward ANYTHING…

(like. 2 hours of barbies prior to driving her around and hoping she’d sleep then bringing her to a playground trying to tire her out then the long way home to see if she’d pass out then for like 3 hours but ALAS she wanted to play barbies again within the hour and we continued on and off for 5. hours. i was three feet from the dolls to take my meds and a drink of water and she was like “ken…?” and i was like “one second honey ken is distracted by the movie but i’ll come back over in just a minute i just need to do something real quick” and she was just like “no! no!” and intensely cried for the 30 seconds it took me to swallow 👁👄👁)

((maybe i was also bossy af at her age, suppose maybe i wouldnt remember being tantrum prone toddler lmao… everything i remember i feel like i was pretty meek but i probs cried a lot. idk if i WAILED tho. my mom describes me as “perfect (in terms of childhood behavior) until puberty”. whereas my brother was a monster until about 3 or 4 and she isnt afraid to say so… either way no judgement unto the toddler, i probably started internalizing my feelings way too young for that to be healthy. tangent. my b.))

anyways point being: why are barbie’s legs still so fucking long??? her torso is more normal these days than 20 years ago but ye gods, the woman has still gotta be 7ft tall… and why can’t we out barbie in flats? literally why does she still have deformed ballerina feet? little girls don’t wear heels. little girls shouldn’t wear heels? not like that? because adult fucking women shouldn’t? (thankfully my psuedoneice wants everyone but ken naked ?)

SECOND POINT BEING: MOMFEMS, SINGLE MOMS, MOTHERS IN GENERAL… i have the utmost fucking respect for you. mothers do more for the world than ANY man, EVERY government & law system, fuck, even all the goddamn charities and every single scientific discovery presently known or yet to be found out. and it is NOT EASY WORK!! it is often THANKLESS WORK. it is always UNPAID WORK. mad fucking respect to moms. i could never.

#r #childposting #mom positivity #mother positivity #mother worship #disclaimer that obviously yes there are BAD mothers who neglect and/or abuse their kids and obviously i don’t condone that #this is how you know i love my bestie/basically sister #like it isnt that bad fr because i do love her and her daughter like family #but 7ish total hours of barbies until nearly 2am is not something you’d generally catch me subjecting myself to yknow #my bestie has a broken collar bone so she an her daughter have just kinda been stuck in the apartment w each other #and so she’s been doing this for like a week. plus her kid is starting to get sick of her and was being super mean to her #i knew she needed a break 😭 at least the kid wasnt mad at me #until she started nodding off trying to play barbies lmaoo #her eyes kept closing and she’d start to go limp then she was just forcing her eyes back open and screaming ‘no!’ for several minutes #we kept trying to ask like no WHAT girl we’re all just sitting here #until finally she got sooo mad that she was falling asleep she did her no thing then looked me dead in the eye and went ‘STOP DOING THAT’ #my reaction made her cry ☠️ i couldnt keep from laughing a little i was like girl i cant make you fall asleep youre doing that… #she was at the point where ANYTHING wouldve made her cry so i don’t feel that bad it was mostly just so funny #yknow. after she cried and screamed for ~60 seconds and immediately passed out once she laid down #it was less funny before that stopped