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#I liked the terrible terror and Hiccup thingy
neytui · 3 months
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The dragon boy
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Summarising every single HTTYD movie, short and episode in roughly one sentence:
HTTYD 1:
ADHD incarnate befriends Death: The Dragon and with the power of friendship they OH GODS OH FUCK OH HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Legend of the Boneknapper:
Gobber likes to tell campfire stories
Book of Dragons:
DreamWorks attempts to write a reader POV fanfiction
Gift of the Night Fury:
Critical series lore in a Christmas special?? Yeah seems normal for this franchise
Riders of Berk:
1. Mildew tries to get a bunch of teenagers executed or some shit
2. Solidifying Gobber as a total madlad: The episode
3. Hot take: You can skip this episode, it's arguably the worst one in the franchise, but you WILL miss a penis joke so there's that going for it.
4. Toothless develops an Older Sibling complex over Beyblade: The Dragon™ and HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT???
5. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MILDEW?? I mean I knew you were an ass but I didn't expect THIS??
6. "The films aren't anything like the books!" UM, ACTUALLY- (aka the episode where Hiccup goes full-on Book!Hiccup mode and Alvin is nothing like his book counterpart but the rest of the outcasts are)
7. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"
8. Hiccup has body image issues
9. Mildew gets bitten in the ass (SATISFYING)
10. The Mary Sue: Part One
11. The Mary Sue: Part Two
12. Oh yeah Snotlout's dad is an abusive cuck who can go fuck himself I'm not even joking. Love Snotlout tho I gotta say.
13. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?! STRIKE ME DOWN, ZEUS!! YOU DON'T HAVE THE BA-"
14. Toothless has a mortal enemy apparently and it is fucked up
15. (Dagur fanboys start screaming in the distance)
16. Snotlout fixes his mistakes (they were very big mistakes)
17. VALKA??? VALKA MENTION??? HICCUP HAS A DRAGON PLUSHIE??? (silently weeping by the end of the episode)
18. Fishlegs and Snotlout piss off some helicopter parents who are also Invisible Acid Dragons™ (ohhhhhh no)
19. Are there... other Night Furies????
20. Lol no BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THERE IS-
Defenders of Berk:
1. Fight Club reference
2. That one time Meatlug became magnetic and almost died
3. Dagur is gay for Hiccup but like in a yandere way
4. Whoever designed the Screaming Death must have been on a particularly fucked up slice of magic mushroom because I've never seen something more in need of holy water than that dragon (my childhood favourite :D )
5. Snotlout's dad is a fucking asshole but I never thought he'd stoop that low
6. Behold: My second favourite dragon who canonically killed Astrid's uncle
7. They tried to train Terrible Terrors in this episode, guess how that went lmaooo
8. (grabs more holy water) IT'S BACK.
9. Hey remember Tiny Beyblade Dragon? Yeah now he's kinda sorta the size of a house. Meanwhile everything is on fire (twin's fault)
10. Behold: My favourite dragon's frozen carcass preserved in ice- I mean my favourite dragon is hibernating in ice- I mean OH SHIT OH FUCK HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH NO-
11. Dagur subjugates my favourite dragon and then karma bites him in the ass
12. Snotlout and Gustav are an anxiety/adhd wombo-combo
13. Ruffnut cuts her hair short to save the life of a really cute dragon and Dreamworks was too pussy to keep it like that for the rest of the season.
14. (darude sandstorm plays)
15. The dragons get high and try to kill each other
16. Toothless is on drugs (I'm not even joking, during the Toothless POV shots you can literally hear stoner music playing)
17. Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair Dagur with helmet hair
18. THORNADO NOOOOOOOOO T-T
19. ALVIN, DAGUR, SNOTLOUT AND THE SCREAMING DEATH. HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER THAN IT ALREADY IS???
20. IT GOT BETTERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Dawn of the Dragon Racers:
The gang got new fits and invented a sport
Race to the Edge S1:
1. Oh shit, Dagur's out of prison, better go chase him down and OOOH, SHINY TELESCOPE THINGY?? (Hiccup is a magpie apparently)
2. Gothi once again proving herself to be an absolute madlad
3. Hiccup and the gang move out of home because telescopy thingy told them to. What could possibly go wrong? (GONE WRONG)
4. Welcome to our new home on Dragon's Edge! It's been years since we've been able to function effectively as a team, and Tuffnut's been smoking way too many hallucinogens lately OH FUCK HE WASN'T HALLUCINATING OH FUCK ME
5. Snotlout is gay for Fishlegs
6. NOT GUSTAV NOOOOOOOO
7. Basically what happens when you put me in charge of anything
8. "Look at this super dangerous dragon I found! I'M GONNA WRESTLE IT!!"
9. Fishlegs and Snotlout are gay
10. THE MARY SUE IS BACK AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH
11. WELL THAT PLOT TWIST CAME OUTTA NOWHERE
12. (darude sandstorm vocoded to running in the 90s plays)
13. they made girl dragon pink
Race to the Edge S2:
1. Astrid becomes that "SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE" guy basically
2. SCOTLAND FOREVER!!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (new villain alert and he is AWESOME)
3. MARY SUE IS WORKING FOR THE VILLAINS NOW???
4. Dreamworks introduces Dragon Werewolfism and does NOTHING with this concept after this episode?? What a ripoff!
5. Fuck Snotlout's dad so much
6. Hiccup punches Snotlout in the face and knocks him out which is no surprise considering he is God of Dragons
7. MARY SUE WAS SPYING ON THE VILLAINS ALL ALONG NOW???
8. Two people and a singular dragon try to fight off an entire armada
9. They succeed somehow
10. Oh hey it's a HTTYD 2 dragon (Free Willy parody? You couldn't have done anything more original?)
11. SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!! SKRILL!!
12. Prepare to thirst in 3... 2... 1: (Viggo appears)
13. If you thought Dagur was homosexual, you aren't prepared for how gay Viggo gets
Race to the Edge S3:
1. Dagur did WHAT NOW???
2. Fuck Cavern Crashers so much but SNOTLOUT SNOUTLOUT OI OI OI!!!
3. Sword in the Stone parody?? Are all the Fishlegs episodes story parodies now??
4. Did... Did they try to portray Snotlout's dad as being in the right in this episode?? Ew fuck that.
5. Viggo almost caused Covid-19
6. Hiccup forgets that not everyone has ADHD and the dragons go completely fucking feral
7. This show loves to force romances, doesn't it?
8. I think these people took HTTYD/Pokemon crossover fics a bit too far
9. A musical episode which has a reason to exist. Sarah Z was right all along?
10. Favourite Fishlegs episode :)
11. DAGUR DID WHAT NOW???
12. My go-to introductory episode for non-fans. It's got everything. Including Viggo.
13. OKAY BUT THAT CLIFFHANGER WAS METAL
Race to the Edge S4:
1. OH THAT FINALE WAS METAL MALA IS JUST SO METAL I LOVE DEFENDERS OF THE WING
2. If you listen closely you can hear TJ Miller in absolute hysterics in the recording booth
3. At this point in time Viggo only values Hiccup as being worth 1000 gold coins
4. I love Snotlout so much... Spitelout can go suck a bag of rocks
5. Oh fuck yes Dagur's back
6. Viggo throws a hissy fit and kisses a man and Toothless is willing to die just so Hiccup doesn't have to die alone (sobbing)
7. Everyone is high in this episode
8. "You didn't think after all we've been through I'd expose myself without some... added protection?"
9. Jumping into a volcano on purpose: The episode
10. Viggo takes a sip of water in this episode (very important)
11. It took Hiccup and Astrid over four years since their first kiss to officially start dating, but they finally did it and it was one of the best episodes in the whole show
12. Ryker has had enough
13. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies (or did he?)
Race to the Edge S5:
1. "The volcano on Dragon's Edge is a dormant volcano" THINK THE FUCK AGAIN, FISHLEGS
2. How the fuck did Gen Z: The Dragon get ahold of Viggo's sword?
3. Savage needs therapy
4. Snotlout's casual sexism almost gets him killed: Lesbian Island edition
5. If you've ever watched an elderly person try to escape a nursing home then you've seen this episode before. Just without as many bones and corpses
6. The Gays Are Back In Town ft. Gay Snotlout, Gay Fishlegs and Gay Viggo
7. "my city now" - Krogan
8. You cannot watch this episode and tell me that Viggo isn't in love with Hiccup
9. Krogan insulted Viggo's hobby and Viggo got mega salty about it
10. Astrid punches a dragon with poisonous scales and almost dies because Save Stormfly Make Anditode™, turns out she did this for no reason whatsoever because Stormfly Wasn't Dying
11. Tuffnut fakes his own death in order to make Ruffnut happy
12. Dagur not-so-casually finding his fathers dead body
13. Rage.
Race to the Edge S6:
1. My blood has never boiled so hard as it did watching this episode
2. Stoick gets played like a cheap kazzoo and regresses back to how he acted in HTTYD 1 out of sheer stress
3. THIS SHOW LOVES TO FORCE ROMANCES, DOESN'T IT?
4. Fishlegs can't believe that his ancestors were Dragon Hunters as if he wasn't once enrolled in Dragon Killing School
5. Nothing solves a sibling rivalry like teaming up to kill the annoying cousin
6. THIS EPISODE GOT AGE RESTRICTED ON NETFLIX BECAUSE ASTRID SHOOK HER TITS AT HICCUP AND DAGUR AND MALA HAVE A MUTUAL PAIN KINK
7. The twins are just. So ride or die for each other it's not even funny.
8. Viggo confesses his love for Hiccup and then fucking dies for real this time (Viggo fans start sobbing as The Winner Takes It All by ABBA starts playing in the distance)
9. Snotlout writes a book
10. What if the gang had never left Berk? What if Hiccup never shot down Toothless at the start of HTTYD 1? What if Spitelout actually loved his son?
11. Protecting an island filled with a bunch of dead dragons
12. The satisfied smirk on my face knowing what the characters don't
13. The most satisfying death in the history of mankind.
HTTYD 2:
Way to straight up ruin Hiccup's life, am I right?
HTTYD 3:
Ruining every character and spitting in the face of all that I love
Homecoming:
20 minutes of my life that I'll never get back
Snoggletog Log:
Half an hour of a fireplace and the wrong voice actors. This shit plays like a DVD menu.
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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year
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Weirder question, but...
If FNiN took place in the HTTYD universe, what species of dragons would they have? (Alternatively, who would be which if we're talking about A.I)
felix - i feel like instead of a full-on rider, he would be more of a tinkerer/blacksmith and would focus on inventions(if somehow him and hiccup ever met they would end up talking for hours-). you know, making saddles and stuff like that! soooo he has a huge black gronckle!(yes this is an excuse to put caban here). alternatively an armorwing would propably suit him well - for obvious reasons.
net - uhhh he would want something cool and fast maybe? - so a deadly nadder or a razorwhip? im not really sure about this one though... or a changewing! since he likes petty revenge and overcomplicated plans? and also doesnt like to take responsbility? so a dragon who can turn invisible might be up his alley!(hes so funny to me i love him)
nika - okay, so we know this girl has a good hand with big dangerous animals(i can recall two seperate occasions of her vibing with a bear), and im assuming shes still an orphan here and would propably at least partially fend for herself - thus i am giving her something absolutely huge and overpowered, like a crimson goregutter or a timberjack or thyphoomerang or something. shes very emphatetic and caring, so maybe she helped a hurt dragon and it decided to start protecting her?
laura - shes definetly the best rider out of this four(horses cant be that diffrent from dragons, right?) and i bet shes good with animals - and thats why i think she should have either a razorwhip or a monstrous nightmare. shes competent and knows what shes doing!
golem golem(my sweet man. i love this guy so much) - uhhh he literally has. a body. a humanoid one at that. so shouldnt it be more fitting for him to be a regular human?? but then again hes very far from anything regular so.. hm. if we're going with dragons, definetly something big and bulky for him! a rumblethorn perhaps? and if hes human then hes just riding one.
manfred - hm. ai are so diffrent from humans in fnin that its kinda hard to assign dragons to them?? but also theyre literally people. ngl im kinda tempted to make him nets older brother/uncle here. but i also think it would be funny if he was just. a really smart terrible terror? i remember in the first(?) book he got a body and it was this small wall-e esque thingy? also i think him being small and easy to look over and underestimate fits well with how in the books the trio sometimes forgets hes there or net accidentally turns him off(imagine this extremely pissed off terrible terror stuck in the bag net carries him around in). basically hes a cat but can fly and breathe fire
konpopoz - my mind tells me hes a speed stinger. i dont know why. it doesnt even fit since hes slow and bulky?? basically hed be any dragon the riders usually find annoying or likely to cause problems. so a changewing mayhaps? since they can easily go unnoticed and have a nasty attitude! and if hes a human then i imagine hes like that old cabbage man from defenders of berk but less evil. just an asshole who hates his job.
morten - he could work well both as a dragon hunter and a dragon. something like the red death or an alpha seems fitting, but i honestly think he would work better as either a whispering/screaming death or a queen of those fire-bee dragons(i dont remember what theyre called).
thank you for the ask, coming up with all these concepts was really fun!
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tazzykiki · 5 years
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“Hiccup, Hiccup? Are you okay?” “Who are you staring at” “Can you please drive, I think we’re about to crash into that terrible terror with the weird stick thingy” “Hiccup? Why aren’t you speaking” “Oh gods are you dead?” “Is this how humans die? I’ve seen a lot of humans die, but not like this”
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