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#I’m not joking too I’m always point when I see my set as pfp
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i love ur scooped mike may i use him as a pfp !??!?!?!?!?!? with credits ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!
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YES GO right ahead!! I love when people use my art as pfp ngl, anytime I see one I do this,,
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stunfiskz · 6 months
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kind of nonsensical rouxls thoughts under the cut
i think one thing that’s cool to think about is the idea that rouxls was originally “the tutorial guy”. we know that’s what the former puzzle makers started doing after they were fired and it would make sense for it to be a role that they fill if he took theirs. plus, one thing i find interesting is that the way they talk about tutorials makes it sound like they find making them demeaning.
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and i think that matches well with rouxls’s incompetency and the way that he’s generally not taken seriously by anyone around him- hell, even with the couple of instances where he gets complimented, the ruddinn who swoons over him talks about puzzle making as a “totally hunky hobby”, when it’s notably not listed in rouxls’s hobbies at all! i don’t think rouxls likes puzzles, really. i sometimes see him portrayed as almost papyrus-like, being passionate about puzzles but not with the greatest execution, but i actually think it makes a lot more sense for him to not like them. rouxls does not think critically, plan ahead, or try thinking for himself. it makes much more sense for him, as the rules card, to prefer to follow and instruct a laid out set of rules than have to do the more challenging thinking that’s needed for making puzzles. he’s a follower and all that. i actually think there’s a good joke you could make there about the fact that he doesn’t think outside the box and the only puzzles he can think of to make are literal boxes.
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because the implication i get from it is that he was not previously in a high ranking position and is unfamiliar with the expectations that come with it. 
i think as well that his search for an “evil rulere” and desperate sycophancy could be a result of this. he switches to whatever side is currently in power (“rouxls is always on the winning side” and all that) because sucking up is kind of the only way he can get by. he doesn’t care about how that affects other people, either- i was trying my hardest to think of what the hell is up with the control crown, and i think the main conclusion i have is that it (and a lot of what he says about king) are primarily indicators of how he doesn’t care how others are affected as long as he’s benefitting. but, yeah, i suppose you could almost see it as searching out a substitute purpose or something. 
another thing is that even after getting to that higher ranking position through being slimy and spineless, he’s still seen as a joke! no one likes him! even lancer is well aware of it
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i think that idea of rouxls as a sad clown is really interesting, but i think i have to let it sit for a bit more to work out my exact thoughts. but one thing i really like to think about in relation to it is the fact that he doesn’t seem to stop grinning ever- i actually don’t think he can. obviously the merch isn’t canon, but the line sticker of him crying (that i use as my pfp!) still shows him grinning. considering there’s a noelle sticker that seemed to be an indicator of the weird route, i don’t want to completely count out the idea of any others being meaningful, yknow? i don’t always draw him with the grin just because it can get very hard to make him emote clearly with it, although i guess that’s the point, and i probably need to commit myself to it again >_>
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rouxls destroys the instructions.
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toriel tries her hardest to keep the children she’s taking care of safe, where rouxls rejects that role. trying to distance himself from that tutorial role, which in these games has a precedent of being connected to parenthood, as part of why he doesn’t outwardly express that he cares for lancer (which i do think he cares for lancer. i don’t think he’s a good parent/parental figure by any means, but things like him asking how lancer is and knowing what makes him feel better when he’s sick makes me definitely think he does care) is an idea that i find really interesting. 
i don’t know if any of this actually means anything or if i’m just looking too deep into it, but it’s stuff i like thinking about, i guess :P
oh, also, final thought that i’ve shared before, but i REALLY love rouxls’s connections to worms because i don’t think there’s a better comparison to make for him! he’s spineless and slimy and brainless. and it makes it pretty damn hypocritical for him of all people to be using it as an insult. i love this fucker i hope he dies
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shorkbrian · 4 years
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Ask Answering
Ask answering time!
As always, if you don’t see your ask answered, it just means I’m saving it to attach it to a fic, Drabble, or HC. 
If you’d prefer to not see these types of posts from me, block the tag “shorkbrian answers a lot of asks”
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CAn I be one of those pies that has birds in it? Goth pie.  But ty dude, and you aren’t pathetic lol. we’re all in this boat together.
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Me sitting in class all the time just like 
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but I wish you luck as well man! collemge edumakashun here we cum
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Hello black heart anon (: You’re always in my inbox and I love it so so so much, you don’t even know 
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lub u black heart anon
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thank u luv <3 
(legitimately I see this ask every time I go to fill a req and askuhkdk it makes me wheeze)
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Guess what Awaso? 
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In Love With You. This is such a genuine and heartfelt message, I would let you bite my ear whenever you wanted, let me be the Van Gogh to ur knife bby. 
forrreal, I know logically that a lot of the feelings I have are normal and are part of being a teenager. Fun story but for like the first 16-17 years of my life I was convinced there was something wrong with me because I didn’t feel the need to express emotions. I could count on one hand how many times I’d cried in the past two years. Then I went to therapy and talked about stuff and my therapist taught me how to cry. I still can’t really cry, but at least it happens lol. So while it’s kinda embarrassing and stupid, a little part of me is glad I’m able to express my emotions instead of just stuffing them down my shirt like a little kid stuffing a pillow down their shirt trying to emulate a pregnant woman.
Okay I'm done lol, anyways, thank you for this message. I’ve read and re-read it many, many times.
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It’s not stupid!!!!!! Do not apologize!!!!!! fantasies are fantasies, I get it bro (:
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still cannot believe there are people out there who genuinely enjoy my stuff... like y’alll... I thought it was a joke...
But I would be willing to write a second part! I just need help coming up with like an idea cause idek how to go from there lol. 
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could you guys pls stop giving me compliments I am genuinely going to cry like a little bitch and I have to uphold the image of being the funniest person in my household and If I start crying then I cannot do that. Pls. My Image
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Listen, she can be whoever you want her to be! long lost sister, adopted sister, the kid he used to babysit that coincidentally loves horror movies and the same stuff he likes. Could be the kid that came over to help clean his father’s gigantic house, could be the bagger at the grocery store. You get to control who it is! That’s the cool bit!
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You have thus been dubbed “Iced Chocolate Anon” (What is that btw? is that a thing?). Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry that you had to go through that experience, I can’t imagine that it was easy or fun or even fruitful. I’m glad you’re looking at life through a different lens, and that you’re down to share that lease with other people. I’ve been trying to be better, to get better.
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What did I just say about not making me cry it’s gonna Ruin My Image man. DOn’t be nice to me PLEASE I'm asjfshkgkfs
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me every time I open my page/look at my pfp
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do you-do you wanna share the medicine I take
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Thank you! He’s always fun to write for lol
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ty for the draca-snoop. He was and is much appreciated (:
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I get what you’re saying, and you make really checking good points. I guess I just get too caught up with how I should try to be, because I don’t know what to do on this site and so I just kinda follow everyone else? and try to make sure I'm following the unwritten rules. Like I don’t want people getting mad cause I don’t answer asks right away or anything, yanno? idk, stuff is hard lol amirite
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I owe myself the care and attention to make time to do things I enjoy. I enjoy writing, I enjoy seeing what people send me. I enjoy the experience. Y’all are rad as heck!
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WHAT KIND OF REQUEST IS THAT
the first request I’ll ever be denying sorry luv
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well I do not know what to do cause other people say
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so I’m just standing here idek anymore
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why inhale my posts when you could be inhaling this di-
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Thank you kind stranger! although pls don’t admire my hands, I need new ones. hand donations are open ! I can only type like 70(?) wpm and I have an essential tremor and so I’m shaking like it’s -42 degrees at all times. please, I want different hands. I mean if you wanna we can trade. But essentially lol the point was THANK YOU you’re super nice
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ik this was back before I set up my master list and I was crying and whining and being annoying about it. You worded this so nicely! I think I’m only going to be uploading actual fics and one shots there, because the thirst posts and drabbles don’t fit the ao3 format lol.
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I feel like I need to accept that Kirishima is my comfort character lol. I love him sm. I think of him and just 
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“Or just post anything, really.” have fun watching me post about Kirishima 2465972658729 before even thinking about any other character loooooool
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AO3 Anon!!!! This message made me feel so warm and loved and ugh, you’re literally too sweet and too kind and a literal angel on earth. You rock. I hope YOU have a lovely day/night.
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thank u bby (wink wonk wink)
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gahfdsgkdh KIDDING but lol my intent was that Sero is a GIANT perv, but in the process of being a giant perv, he fell in love with u mwuah 
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I’m sorry lol
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Okay, I will be 100% hoenest here.... I rlly don’t like Enji. writing for him is like an impossible task for me, I have no Simp Sauce for him. But you know who does, and who is really cool, and would love to explore these ideas with you? @implexedactions​ 
Enji is THEIR man and ONLY their man lol. 
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It’s not over-stepping, and it’s not weird, no worries. Remember folks, I don’t kink shame or character shame here (I do admit when something isn’t my particular jam, but just cause I don’t froth for it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t, yanno? Like what you like), and there is very little I see as weird lol.
thank you for the concern though, I appreciate it.
And with that, we have ended. TY for coming to my (Shorky) ask answering session. Have a good night and drink some freakin water, right now. Finish reading this and get up and go get water. It’s good for you. TY
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christophersymes · 4 years
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Celebrity Status
Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.
<-- Previous (Prologue) / Next -->
TW: Brief mention of r*pe
Chapter One
Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa's heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.
"Yes, princess, you can go ahead," he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.
The discs cracked under Rosa's heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she'd done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.
She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case's edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.
"Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick," she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. "This is what you get for trying to rape me."
Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.
As usual, they'd both guaranteed they'd exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.
They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They'd listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he'd witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.
They'd all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.
So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.
Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They'd hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.
"Hi," Rosa said, grinning. "We're from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn't get one, so we come bearing a gift."
They both lifted the console and cords. "It's a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it."
The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. "Holy shit. Thank you."
After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. "You feeling better?"
"Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick." Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. "What can we destroy now?"
"How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis," Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. "Careful, though. We don't need you slashing your hand open."
Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.
"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.
He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"
Mason knew his middle name. He just liked hearing Austin say it in his neat little accent.
And wanted to freak him out a little.
Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"
Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."
Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.
Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.
masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me
Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.
"Seriously, what are you doing?"
"Joining a Nosam forum, obviously," Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.
Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website's title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason's post. "Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I'm almost certain you'd actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?"
Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. "Because I would, Ozzie," he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. "Because I would."
Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.
He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn't exactly the most popular website, so... Oh, their name was Elias... That was Austin's middle name. Maybe he'd finally have another Austin stan.
And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.
familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)
Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.
masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?
Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.
familyjules: i'm too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i'm still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker
Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.
"What the hell?"
Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."
Austin sputtered, confused.
masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.
also: is ur profile pic u?
Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn't had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.
familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me
Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.
masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure
Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.
familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)
Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn't even defend his own good looks.
masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?
Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.
familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i've been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?
Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.
masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.
Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.
masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?
Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He'd made the website. It was his rule. And he'd broken it.
familyjules: whoops. yeah. i'll tag u in a thread
familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?
masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.
familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i've got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off
Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.
masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1
familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i'm gonna look great
masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?
familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow
masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro
Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn't say he was a girl.
familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here
masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.
a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.
Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.
Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"
Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."
Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."
Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.
masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.
familyjules: oh hell yeah that's me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i'm not as good at those yet. are u into them too?
masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.
fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!
familyjules: whoa, dude, i'd never. if anything i'd strip for austin. if stella wouldn't kill me
masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.
Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.
familyjules: can't even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he's the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you're his hand then? shouldn't you have his hand as your pfp?
Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn't even notice.
masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!
familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)
Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn't matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he'd stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn't even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn't ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn't even a good font.
Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules' mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.
It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.
familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it's way too easy to roast mason
Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.
masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore
familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren't actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick
masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all
gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart
familyjules: damn dude. at least you're honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who's right👀
masonfucker1000: average dick.
fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee
familyjules: be mason hill?
familyjules: kidding! i'll send you some
masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself
They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.
♦️
It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.
familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you've only got two things on your profile and it's been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you'd let mason have his way with you? i'm curious ;)
During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.
masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough
Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn't want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.
familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don't even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c'mon, dude
Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?
masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?
familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we'd take over the world, displace nosam
masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆
displace nosam? ur blocked
masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then
familyjules: hey, you're the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck
masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on
Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?
masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3
masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me
Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.
familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated
"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.
Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."
Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."
Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.
Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.
He deleted the file he sent.
masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.
and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?
Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. "Oh, come on," he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?
familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀
familyjules: oh also i'm a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night
masonfucker1000: i did not!
oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?
familyjules: you'd be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor
masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?
familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i'd like but it's something
masonfucker1000: 🤑
masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?
familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling
familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely
masonfucker1000: uh huh
masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better
familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him
Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"
Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"
"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."
Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."
"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."
Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.
masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want
familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?
Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.
masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?
masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day
Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.
Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.
familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?
Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.
masonfucker1000: what! no no
Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.
masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry
masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel
familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?
Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.
masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)
familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)
familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading
masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!
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nosamlight · 5 years
Text
chapter one
Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa’s heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.
“Yes, princess, you can go ahead,” he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.
The discs cracked under Rosa’s heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she’d done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.
She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case’s edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.
“Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick,” she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. “This is what you get for trying to rape me.”
Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.
As usual, they’d both guaranteed they’d exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.
They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They’d listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he’d witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.
They’d all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.
So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.
Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They’d hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.
“Hi,” Rosa said, grinning. “We’re from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn’t get one, so we come bearing a gift.”
They both lifted the console and cords. “It’s a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it.”
The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. “Holy shit. Thank you.”
After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. “You feeling better?”
“Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick.” Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. “What can we destroy now?”
“How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis,” Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. “Careful, though. We don’t need you slashing your hand open.”
Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.
"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.
He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"
Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"
Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."
Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.
Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.
masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me
Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.
“Seriously, what are you doing?”
“Joining a Nosam forum, obviously,” Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.
Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website’s title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason’s post. “Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I’m almost certain you’d actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?”
Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. “Because I would, Ozzie,” he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. “Because I would.”  
Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.
He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn’t exactly the most popular website, so… Oh, their name was Elias… That was Austin’s middle name. Maybe he’d finally have another Austin stan.
And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.
familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)
Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.
masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?
Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.
familyjules: i’m too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i’m still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker
Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.
"What the hell?"
Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."
Austin sputtered, confused.
masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.
also: is ur profile pic u?
Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn’t had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.
familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me
Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.
masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure
Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.
familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)
Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn’t even defend his own good looks.
masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?
Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.
familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i’ve been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?
Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.
masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.
Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.
masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?
Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He’d made the website. It was his rule. And he’d broken it.
familyjules: whoops. yeah. i’ll tag u in a thread
familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?
masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.
familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i’ve got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off
Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.
masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1
familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i’m gonna look great
masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?
familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow
masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro
Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn’t say he was a girl.
familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here
masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.
a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.
Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.
Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"
Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."
Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."
Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.
masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.
familyjules: oh hell yeah that’s me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i’m not as good at those yet. are u into them too?
masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.
fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!
familyjules: whoa, dude, i’d never. if anything i’d strip for austin. if stella wouldn’t kill me
masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.
Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.
familyjules: can’t even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he’s the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you’re his hand then? shouldn’t you have his hand as your pfp?
Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn’t even notice.
masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!
familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)
Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn’t matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he’d stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn’t even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn’t ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn’t even a good font.
Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules’ mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.
It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.
familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it’s way too easy to roast mason
Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.
masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore
familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick
masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all
gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart
familyjules: damn dude. at least you’re honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who’s right👀
masonfucker1000: average dick.
fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee
familyjules: be mason hill?
familyjules: kidding! i’ll send you some
masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself
They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.
♦️
It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.
familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you’ve only got two things on your profile and it’s been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you’d let mason have his way with you? i’m curious ;)
During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.
masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough
Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn’t want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.
familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don’t even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c’mon, dude
Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?
masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?
familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we’d take over the world, displace nosam
masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆
displace nosam? ur blocked
masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then
familyjules: hey, you’re the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck
masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on
Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?
masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3
masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me
Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.
familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated
"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.
Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."
Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."
Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.
Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.
He deleted the file he sent.
masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.
and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?
Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?
familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀
familyjules: oh also i’m a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night
masonfucker1000: i did not!
oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?
familyjules: you’d be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor
masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?
familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i’d like but it’s something
masonfucker1000: 🤑
masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?
familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling
familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely
masonfucker1000: uh huh
masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better
familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him
Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"
Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"
"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."
Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."
"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."
Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.
masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want
familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?
Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.
masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?
masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day
Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.
Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.
familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?
Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.
masonfucker1000: what! no no
Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.
masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry
masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel
familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?
Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.
masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)
familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)
familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading
masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!
prologue | chapter two (coming soon!)
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