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fearfulkittenwrites · 3 years

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“Just a normal night”

Inspired by @s-mscott - link for the art, please check it out!

Word count: 2832

Notes: HEY. THIS IS JUST BEEN SITTING ON MY FILES FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT DKJFHAKJHAKJDFH. Anyway, it's a long time coming. The writing probs isn't as neat or as good as the latest uploads bc of that, but... idk. Hopefully it's good! I couldn't bring myself to edit it again, sorry about that. I hope you can enjoy it anyways and please go check out the artist, @s-mscott!

“Guys?” Dick asked, on his tiptoes as he rummaged through every cabinet in the huge kitchen “Hey are we out of cereal? I can’t find my Lucky Charms anywhere.”

“I think so.” Jason answered “I ate the last of the Lucky Charms last night.”

“Yep.” Tim said, popping the ‘p’ as he slid through the countertop, landing a bit behind Dick “I had the last of the frosted flakes two days ago.”

“Froot Loops?” Dick asked.

“I had those.” Duke answered “Sorry.”

“Fruity Pebbles?”

Cass raised her hand, looking at the ground.

“Reese’s Puffs?”

“I finished the box yesterday.” Damian announced, crossing his arms as he leaned against the marble sink.

“Damn.” Dick murmured and pouted as he closed the cabinet’s door “I’ve been craving cereal today.”

“We can always go get some.” Jason shrugged.

“At three in the morning?” Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Actually, four.” Jason corrected, putting up a finger “And yeah, why not? I mean, we had a hard patrol tonight, and if Dick wants some cereal, I say let’s go get some cereal.”

“It’s four in the morning, Todd.” Damian said.

“I mean, the closest Walmart is open 24/7.” Tim interfered.

“You can’t be seriously considering this, Grayson.” Damian frowned at his older brother.

“Why not? I’m not sleepy anyways.” Dick crossed his arms and shrugged.

“Yes!” Jason hissed “Late night adventures with the baby bats. Let’s roll!” He clapped his hands once, and started to walk out of the kitchen, his siblings following him to the garage.

“Oh wait!” Dick said “Let’s ring up Bruce and see if there’s anything else we need.”

“Bold of you to assume he’d know what we need.” Tim interfered.

“Yeah, well, it’s worth a shot. Plus, do any of us really want to wake up Alfred to ask him?” Dick said, taking his communicator out of his pocket and placing it in his ear “B? Have a sec?” He asked

“Nightwing. What’s wrong?” Came the answer, Batman’s raspy voice flowing through the device.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. We’re going to take a quick trip to the supermarket, I wanted to ask if you need anything.”

“... At four in the morning?”

“Yeah. Do you need anything?”

Bruce sighed.

“We’re running out of the coffee blend that Tim likes. Alfred the cat’s favorite treats have been gone since last week, and Cass’ favorite ice cream is done. Oh, buy Duke that soda he likes, I drank the last can. Also, Jason’s cookies and that brand of chips you like, we ran out of those. Oh, and buy something with Iron in it, I’m worried that Damian might not be getting enough.”

“Like spinach?” Dick said, writing it down on his phone’s notes.

“Yeah, that’ll do. Ah, and we’re a little low on milk.”

“Okay. Will keep that in mind. Thanks B, have a nice patrol.”

“Please don’t give the papers any headlines.”

“You got it, B. Bye.”

He placed the device back on his pocket.

“Okay, there’s a lot of stuff to buy, so let’s get going. I’ll drive.”

“Shotgun!” Jason yelled.

“We’re taking the S.U.V., one of you will need to ride in the trunk.” Dick said.

“I’ll go.” Cass’ eyes twinkled. No one could understand why she was always so fascinated with the idea of riding in the trunk, but she seemed to find it fun and all of them thought that her excitement was cute.

“Alright then.” Dick smiled, ruffling her hair. Her grin grew wider, and Duke set her hair straight again before they got into the car.

“Hey, can I play my music?” Tim asked from the backseat.

“Don’t force us to listen to the atrocity Drake calls music, Grayson.” Damian complained, arms crossed “Let me play something.”

“Uh, I’d rather not listen to Mozart and Bach while we’re in the car.” Duke protested.

“It’s called classic for a reason, Thomas.”

“Doesn’t matter, bat-brat.” Jason said “I’m with him on this one. Besides, universal car rules, shotgun DJ’s.”

“Since when?” Tim asked.

“Since now.” Jason said, plugging his phone in.

“Uh, I don’t think so.” Dick took the cord from him “According to ‘Supernatural’ rules, ‘Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’. So that’s mine.”

“No one else watches this show Dickhead!” Jason pulled the cord back.

“Doesn’t matter, because I’m older!” Dick pulled it back again.

“Age is just a number!” Tim pushed himself to the front seat and took the cord back.

“Great point Drake!” Damian pulled him back by his waist, stealing the cord from him too.

“Hey, stop with the fuss, I’m gonna crash the car!” Dick said.

“Maybe we should just play Beyoncé...” Duke suggested. The car went silent for a while.

“Okay.” Dick said “Put on ‘Single Ladies’.”

“No. ‘Halo’ is her best.” Damian complained.

“Uhm, no way? I’m playing ‘Drunk in Love’, and that’s it.” Tim shot back.

“Are you crazy? Play ‘Formation’.” Duke interfered.

“I like ‘Run the World’...” Cass said quietly from the trunk.

“Yeah, okay,” Tim murmured “We’ll play that.”

The girl smiled as the first notes from the song filled the car.

There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, which was expected. They picked up two carts, and Dick hopped inside the one Jason was pushing.

“Dude!” Duke started “You’re in your mid-twenties!”

“Leave me alone, I nearly sprained my ankle today.” Dick stuck his tongue out. No one else questioned anything beyond that. The employees simply sighed, used to the two older brothers and their antics.

“Hey Parker.” Jason greeted the nighttime security guard.

“Hey. I see you two brought the whole gang tonight.” He answered.

“Yup.” Dick smiled.

“So this is a regular thing for the two of you?” Duke asked.

“Are you really surprised, Duke?” Tim shot back.

“No. Not really.”

“Okay. First stop, Bruce said we need to get Tim’s coffee.” Dick exclaimed, looking at the list.

Jason led the way, Dick grinning like a child on the cart, Cass quietly following as she pushed their second cart, Duke making friendly conversation with her while Tim and Damian kept bickering right behind them.

“Oh, wait!” Dick held on to the metal bars “We’re right next to the cookies and Bruce said we’re out of your favorites, Jay.” He looked up.

“Alright, a little detour then.” Jason turned them around, quickly grabbing his treats “Anyone wants anything else from this aisle?”

“But... We don’t need anything else from the aisle.” Duke pointed out.

“Um, we have a billionaire’s credit card?” Tim said “Bruce won’t freak out if we buy a few extra things.”

“Uuuh, they have those koala shaped cookies!” Dick hopped out of the cart “How many do I get?”

“I want one.” Cass said.

“Chocolate or strawberries?”

“Uh… I want both.” She answered.

“Okay, one each for the lady, two strawberries for me...”

“I want a chocolate one.” Tim said.

“Me too.” Damian asked.

“Oh, just take twenty boxes, ten of each flavor.” Jason interfered, dumping them on Cass’ cart “We’ll share later.”

“Oh my God, those are expensive!” Duke said, exasperated.

“Yeah. So?” Jason shot back.

“Bruce is a billionaire, bro. He won’t mind.” Dick said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, well, it’s easy for you guys to say it. You grew up like that. It’s kinda hard to accept this when you aren’t used to having so much.” Duke answered, scratching his neck.

“Hey, I get that feeling lil’ bro.” Jason tapped his back “I spent my childhood in Gotham’s streets.”

“Yeah. I mean, I grew up in the circus. I wasn’t used to the idea of getting brand new stuff instead of asking for hand-me-downs from our friends whenever I grew out of my clothes.” Dick interfered.

“But... Just think about it like this.” Jason got closer to him “We now can get everything we couldn’t in the past.”

Duke frowned. Jason nodded encouragingly.

“That... Doesn’t help.”

“I tried.” Jason shrugged. Dick hopped back in the cart “To the coffee aisle!” He exclaimed, pushing his brother around.

“Hang on.” Tim said “This is where they leave the energy drinks. Let me take some.”

“Why do you insist on drinking this crap, Drake?” Damian scowled, reading the label in one of the cans “If you have such a death wish, jumping in front of a train is a much cheaper, quicker alternative.”

“Shut up, little devil.” Tim picked up cans from his favorite brand.

“Jason, push me a little farther down the aisle, please.” Dick asked “They keep their iced teas over there.”

“Ugh, Grayson, you disgust me.” Damian rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be so judgemental Lil’ D.” He smiled, being pushed away by Jason.

As they examined the cans, Dick noticed he had attracted the looks of a middle aged man, a couple of steps from them. He was staring at his hoodie, that contained the frase ��I love dick’ printed on it.

“Oh,” He exclaimed, smiling at the guy “My name is Richard. That’s why it’s funny.” The man nodded “I’m also queer as fuck, so that makes it better.” He added nonchalantly, and the man’s eyes widened “Okay Jay, I picked up all I wanted, let’s go back.”

“Alright you little shits, back to the coffee quest.” Jason said, leading the way once again. This time, they finally made it to the coffee aisle. Tim crouched down, looking for his favorite blend.

Cass got a little curious once she laid eyes on a colorful package on the top shelf. She picked it up and handed it to Dick.

“Read. Please.”

“This is an espresso roast. Here it says that it has notes of strawberry? Vanilla and... Sugar cane. Colombian coffee. Seems nice. Wanna take it?”

“Yes.” She nodded. Dick dropped it on his cart.

Cass wandered away, still looking at all of the coffee blends.

“Hey girlie,” A guy whistled at her, next to his group of friends “Nice ass.”

She squinted at them.

“Yo, asshole!” Tim screamed, getting their attention “That’s our sister!” He threw a bag of coffee beans at the guy’s face, causing his nose to bleed.

“Hey, who do you think you are?” One of them started to walk up to her brothers. Cass could tell that he wanted trouble, so she grabbed his arm and slammed his face against the shelf, so quickly and brutally that it barely budged, leaving the products unbothered, but the guy fell to the floor, disoriented. She stared at him.

“We are Waynes.” Damian answered, pacing towards them quietly, hands on his pockets “I suggest you apologize immediately for the troubles, if you wouldn’t want to get a hefty lawsuit for your harrasment.”

“Uh, sorry bro.” One of them started, a little scared “We didn’t-”

“Not to me.” He interrupted “To her.”

“We’re sorry, miss Wayne.” All of them mumbled.

“Now promise you won’t do it again.” Damian added.

“We won’t do it again.” They started at the floor, next to where their fallen friend laid down.

“Good.” He squinted “Help your friend up, and get out of my sight.”

They did as they were told, helping his friend walk straight again. As Cass headed back, Dick gently touched her arm, looking up at her.

“Hey, are you alright?” She smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back.

“Does this happen often?” Jason asked.

“Sometimes.” She shrugged “But they always say sorry after I break their nose.”

“Ayy, that’s our girl.” Jason praised “Alright, we got the coffee. Where to next?”

“Let’s see... Next item is Alfred the cat’s treats.” Dick said.

“Ha!” Damian laughed loudly “As if Alfred would eat the... peasant treats that this store offers. No. I’ve already bought the adequate brand from an online shop.”

“Okay...” Dick raised an eyebrow “Then... Cass’ ice cream is next, but I think we should leave that as the last item, so it won’t melt, which leads us to Duke’s soda because Bruce had the last can.”

“Let’s go then. I think that the cereal aisle is on the way, so we’ll get that first.” Jason said, pushing the cart around again.

“Which ones do we get?” Tim asked, looking through the shelf.

“Everything that has sugar.” Dick answered. His brother began handing him boxes, when they heard a small whisper.

“Oh my God, are those...?” A girl said to her friend, attracting the eyes of the siblings. The duo averted their gaze quickly. Cass frowned at them.

“Relax.” Jason smiled, placing an arm on her back “They’re probably just... Fans.”

“Fans?” She asked, still staring suspiciously at them.

“Yeah.” Dick shrugged “I mean, we’re not super stars, but we do hit the papers pretty often. A bunch of people know us here in Gotham.” The girls were looking again, and Dick gave them a small wave, making them giggle “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Hum.”

“Hey there, ladies.” Jason greeted, a cheeky smile on his face “What brings you to this fine establishment tonight?”

“We ran out of energy drinks.” One of them answered “What about you?”

“Cereal.” Dick answered, lifting two boxes. They giggled again.

“Hey, um... can we maybe get a picture?” The girl asked “It’s just that... no one will believe us when we tell them about this.”

“Absolutely not!” Damian answered.

“Nah, don’t listen to the little brat.” Jason said “Go ahead.”

Dick held up the boxes again, smiling as Jason made a ‘crazy’ motion with his hands. Tim turned around as the photo was being taken, turning him into a blurr with tired eyes.

“Can we get some selfies too?” The other one asked, grinning.

“No!” Damian protested again.

“Of course you can!” Dick said “Duke, Cass, come here.” He called.

All of them gathered around the cart Dick was staying at, even Damian. He didn’t look so pleased as the photo was taken, but neither did Cass.

“Thanks. You guys really are nice.” The first girl said.

“Oh, you have no clue on how nice I can be.” Jason winked, making her blush “Tell you what, why don’t I give you my phone number and you can text me those pictures later, hm?”

“Sure.” The girl bit her lips as Jason scribbled his number on her wrist.

“You are such a flirt.” Dick rolled his eyes as the girls walked away.

“What, like you aren’t?” Jason snorted, pushing him away, looking for where they kept the soda.

“I think Cass didn’t like that interaction very much.” Tim whispered to his older brothers, who turned around to find a frowning baby bat. Jason chuckled.

“What’s wrong, sis?” She scowled at him “Oh, c’mon, don’t get jealous.” He threw an arm around her shoulder “You know you’ll always be our number one girl, but a guy has his needs. And sometimes, a guy needs a date.”

Cass pushed him away, rolling her eyes as Duke placed five soda cans on her cart.

“Why would you even drink this sugar filled monstrosity, Thomas?” Damian asked, reading the labels “Grandfather wouldn’t even feed his prisoners something as revolting as this.”

“Because, Bat-brat,” He said “We’re all entitled to enjoy at least one or two things that may ultimately be responsible for our deaths.”

“I suppose.” He murmured, lifting an eyebrow “You make much finer points than the rest of them. Father has been looking for heirs in the least suitable places, I assume.” He clicked his tongue “It’s a good thing I’m here to help.”

“Okay...” Duke answered, raising his eyebrows and averting his gaze. There was only so much strangeness that he could handle.

“Great, now we need to get my chips and spinach.” Dick stated.

“Spinach?” Tim asked “Why spinach?”

“B thinks Damian may have been needing more iron in his diet.” Dick shrugged.

“Aaw.” Tim said “That’s actually kinda cute. Do you think he ever worries about our diets?”

“Don’t be stupid Tim, of course he doesn’t.” Jason answered.

“He does.” Dick shot back “He worries about us, he just... Really, really, really, reaaaally sucks at showing it sometimes.”

“Potatoe, potatoe.” Jason murmured.

“Yeah, whatever. Keep me moving Little Wing, we have stuff to pick up and my tiredness is catching up to me.” Dick pointed forward.

“Sure. But the chips are in the opposite direction.”

“Well turn me around then, do you want me to look like an idiot?” Dick said, a little exasperated.

“I wish you had an off button sometimes.” Jason sighed as he made his way to the chips section.

An employee, mopping the floor with a bored expression, looked up from what he was doing when he saw the Wayne gang talking loudly. Dick tried to control his brothers from inside the cart, and had just told Jason to separate a fight between Tim and Damian. Duke and Cass snicker as they saw a bored, six feet tall Jason pushing his much smaller brothers apart.

“Yep.” The employee murmured to himself “Billionaires shopping at Walmart at four in the morning. Just a normal night.”

Hey! If you made it this far, please consider reblogging this? It helps with spreading my fics and it makes me very happy, hahahaha!

Regardless, thanks for reading <3

#batfamily #BatFam #Batbrothers #batsiblings #fanfiction

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suckitsurveys · 7 years

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Pretty sure this is like 7 surveys in one yikes.

On Saturdays, I like to… Attempt to sleep in, hang out with mark, order take out.

Where would you like to be a missionary to? I would not.

What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? There’s literally no difference.

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Velma.

If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Nah, I’m good. Chicago is pretty good about not having natural disasters so lets keep it that way. The worst we get is trees being knocked over and like 100 ft of snow.

What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Teen Mom 2.

If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Yield.

What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t know.

What “group” did you belong to in high school? I didn’t really.

If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? ...About myself, obviously.

If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? I seriously dislike this question.

Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. I just got fair isle pikachu pj pants that I am in love withhhhh.

How many handbags do you own? A handful. BUH DUM TISS.

If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? I have no idea.

What is your very favorite part of your day? Sleeping.

What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I have very few scars and all of the stories are really mundane. The most interesting one is the teeny tiny one I got from stabbing myself while making cheeseburgers one time.

You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? The childhood cancer research charity of my friend Rebecca’s choice. She lost her 3 year old son to cancer in 2014, and childhood cancer is the least funded research out there. Then I‘d use the rest of it to buy myself a nice car and a place to live.

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. There’s still a little part of me that wants a big wedding but it just seems like such a waste. The day should be about you and your partner and it seems so crazy to go through all that trouble and money to impress other people. Because that’s honestly what it is.

What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret.

Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nah.

You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Aubrey Plaza, Tina Fey, and Matthew Perry. The sarcasm would be REAL.

What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? Baseball. The 2016 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs.

Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Both are nice. Hugs are more comforting though.

If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be? Why? Skinny. Because then I‘d be skinny.

You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. Uh, no. Multiple personality disorder is a real thing and not just some funny survey question to list off your different “sides” or whatever.

What is the best thing you have done in your life? Witnessed my niece being born.

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Jesus, everything.

What household chore do you hate the most? All of them.

What is your most disappointing moment in life? Just one?

When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? Dude, I don’t know.

If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? "IM BOSSY, I’M THE BITCH THAT YOU LOVE TO HATE”

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Nothing.

What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? This one’s fine. There are lots that I would love to visit, but I’d never want to throw away our current level of progress permanently. <---Yup, I like this answer.

What is the best reward anyone can give you? Money is nice.

If you had a band what would you name it? Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.

Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Yes.

What can someone do to encourage you? I don’t know. Pay me? Hahahahaha I need money.

If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? Toucan Sam so I could fly around places and snack on Froot Loops all day. <---another good answer stolen from Kayla.

What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? Last weekend we rang in the new year in Michigan.

What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pandas. Cute, big, black and white.

What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Purple. Deep, appealing, pretty.

It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Water.

You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? He actually doesn’t like sweet stuff, so I’d make him sushi instead.

What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? I don’t really have much to leave right now.

What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? My laptop maybe? Or maybe my engagement ring?

What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I don’t know.

If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Professional sushi-taster.

What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Blah.

What are you most talented at? Organizing, kind of. Also being a cool aunt.

What is your worst nightmare today? My grandmother is living in my house now.

How often do you clean between your toes? Whenever I shower, so a few times a week.

What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? Surveys, haha. I do a majority of these at work.

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Eh.

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? No thanks.

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Brush my teeth I guess. They’d just magically be clean.

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? The Ramona.

If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? Eat better.

You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? Pokemon figures, just because I’d want them for myself.

Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? Having horrible balance. Not really a verb, but a pretty broad use of the term haha.

Name your favorite song. Hold On by Tom Waits.

If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I’ve been kinda wanting a small W for the Cubbies. And I kind of want my Pikachu covered and then a different style done somewhere else.

If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? Guitar I guess.

When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? 3 Musketeers.

Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I don’t?

What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? My niece’s first Christmas.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Not believing in him. Hah.

If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Aubrey Plaza mainly so I could just meet her haha.

Paper or plastic? Plastic because those seem to be the ones with handles on them. Chicago banned basic plastic bags and now we have reusable ones but if you don’t bring them back to the store, they give you paper ones which don’t have handles.

What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I’ve had ostrich and alligator before.

What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have some basic maintenance things in there. Not sure if I still do, but I had a snow shovel for digging myself out of parking spots.

When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I think a vet.

If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I don’t know what that is.

If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I would wait until I had like 3 hours left, eat a SHIT TON of sushi and lobster and crab and then die right before the bill came.

If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah no.

What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Gift of the world? You mean in the world?

What is your earliest childhood memory? I have little memories of the apartment we lived in until I was 4. I was just talking about this with Ellen the other day. My most vivid one was from when I was about 4 and my parents had put a hook lock at the top of the outside of my sister’s door to keep me out when she wasn’t in there. I figured out how to climb on a chair, reach it, and lock my sister in her room one day.

What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? Tiny Toons, Pokemon, and Garfield and Friends.

If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Probably doing nothing, hah.

What CD is in your CD player right now? I don’t own anything that plays CDs. Or CDs anymore for that matter.

The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. What happened during your 15 minutes? I was on Radio Disney once.

Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I guess Dane Cook would be the most recognizable name. I saw him live when I was a young dumb kid and thought he was hilarious (ew) and he came out after the show and was trying to get to the table where he was signing things and my friend and I were in his way and he taps us on the shoulder and goes “excuse me ladies.”

Name your favorite children’s story. The Witch‘s Christmas. And the Ramona Quimby books.

If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Rowan Blanchard because she’s so amazingggggg.

What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? There’s someone named Hannah in the bible so I guess her? Or maybe Satan? He’s mentioned a few times, right?

What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? I have no idea.

If you were to write a book what would it be about? Nothing.

How many rings before you answer the phone? My phone doesn’t “ring” in intervals, it plays The Office theme song.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? I don’t know, it varies.

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? I would save some and then buy myself a nice place to live and a car.

If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? I’m good with piercings.

Who was your favorite teacher and why? My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Furuta. She taught us oragami and other fun art projects. She would also stage these “trips” to different countries where we’d pretend to fly on a plane and “land” and there’d be a whole like little “market” set up with crafts and food from that country. It was so cool. She taught my sister and her best friend too. We ran into her at said best friend’s son’s funeral and she has been keeping in touch with us ever since. She’s very very sweet.

What makes you feel the most secure? Mark.

Who do you admire the most? My friends.

Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? Yeah, I used to have a reoccurring dream about alligators.

What was your nickname growing up? Nothing really stuck but my mom would sometimes call me Fanny or Pooka 2 (My sister was the original Pooka haha)

Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad.

Peanut or plain? M&Ms? Peanut.

What is your favorite cartoon character & why? Brendon Small because he’s the best.

How did you learn to ride a bicycle? With my legs?

Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? Most croutons in a single salad.

What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? Haha, wow, I’ve never been even remotely close.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I took my niece to the movies alone for the first time the other day if that counts.

What is your concept of a fruitful day? Pffft.

What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? Barbies. I liked making them into families and making up stories for them.

If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? Maybe a sea otter? Something aquatic that isn’t terrifying. I think it’d be kinda fun to just swim around all day. <---DUDE Kayla and I are the same person, except I’d probably just be a straight up fish.

Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? My brother in law.

What is your best personal characteristic? I’m pretty good at planning stuff.

What is your favorite quote? “Love her, but leave her wild.”

If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Freak the fuck out of my brother in law.

What is your favorite weird food combination? Hmmm. I can’t think of anything honestly. I like a lot of “weird” food but not really weird combos?

If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Gardenias so I could smell amazing all the time.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? I’d take a book on how to make a boat out of sticks and shit.

My biggest pet peeve is… People who clear their throats every five seconds. <--- I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT MY BROTHER IN LAW DOES @tapiooocasurveys you would HATE him so much holy shit.

What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? The most annoying one right now is the freaking Candy Crush one. I can’t think of a commercial I would call my favorite. I’ve always enjoyed the Geico ones. They are usually pretty cute and clever.

What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? Oh man, I don’t know.

If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? I don’t know. Vanilla because I’m white and boring.

Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. The day my niece was born.

If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? Me, of course.

What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I was in drama for a bit and yearbook.

If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? I’d be on a game show and I’d be on Chain Reaction because I am SO GOOD at that game. OR Idiotest because I’m pretty good at that too.

If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Thinner.

If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? Um.

If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Ability to become super annoyed at survey question in 0.2 seconds.

If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? I’d imagine it would be like Hannah Smurf or something?

What is your worst personality characteristic? I get very distracted and then overwhelmed easily.

If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? No.

How would you like to be remembered? Positively.

What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? My future with Mark. :)

What do you like best about your hometown? Idk, tall buildings n shit.

Something interesting you might not know about me is… I’m done with this survey!

#surveys

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lauriecgarcia · 5 years

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The Low Down On Breakfast Cereal

Wendyl Nissen’s book Supermarket Companion is a wealth of knowledge for those looking to avoid foods laden with dangerous additives by shopping wiser and making real food at home.

This entertaining and enlightening chapter looks at breakfast foods, in particular, Nestlé Milo Oats and Kellogg’s Froot Loops (no fruit there!) and the importance of eating a nutritious breakfast that is not laden with sugar and additives.

Just for starters!

“Look at what?” I say, as we both gaze at the bags of shopping.Can I look at that, Grandma?” says our four-year-old grand-daughter, Lila, as I’m putting the shopping in the back of the Prius. We have just made our way around the supermarket and Lila has been a great help.

“That one there,” she says pointing at a brightly coloured box.

“Oh, that’s not for you,” I say reaching in and covering the offending piece of garish marketing with a bag of potatoes.

“Why not?” she says, disappointed.

“That’s for Grandma’s work.” I reply and hastily strap her into her car seat. “When Grandma has done her work on it, maybe you can have one next time you visit.”

Most visits to the supermarket require that I look for products that I can review in my column. This box was for some brightly coloured biscuits called Oki Doki Disco Bits. They looked frightening in terms of artificial colours and so I threw them in the trolley. Lila never said a word when I took them off the shelf, nor to my knowledge even noticed they were in the trolley. But when it comes to kid marketing Lila is a perfect target. She has an innate ability to seek and find any brightly coloured foods within a 10-meter radius.

I’m not sure what she thinks Grandma does when she “works” on these foods but she knows that they generally live on a shelf in my office, lined up and waiting for my magnifying glass to hover critically over their ingredients panel.

I know Lila knows this because it’s her first stop at every visit, once we have all been all been greeted with a cuddle, she’s patted our dog, Shirl, and gone out to check that her white hen, who she has named “Mummy”, is still around.

I had an extremely colourful and enticing box of Kellogg’s Fruit Loops sitting in my office when Lila came to visit recently. She regards my office as our “second” kitchen because on any occasion she might find all sorts of wonderful foods lined up on my shelf ready to be analysed for the column. I was in the “first” kitchen, when she appeared clutching the box of Froot Loops with a look of wonderment on her face.

“Grandma, can I please have these in a bowl with some milk?”

Something about the packaging had managed to (tell her that a) she desperately needed to eat these and b) it was a food you had in a bowl with milk.

“Why do you want them?” I asked.

“They look nice,” was all she said.

I gently pried them off her with promises of other treats and hid them in the pantry.

When I went back to get them to write about, I found that my 26-year-old son, Daniel, had succumbed to the same marketing message, but didn’t need to ask first, and ate them.

I am always astonished at the power of packaging and its ability to transfix a small child or her uncle. Lila lives in a household where her parents are very aware of food additives and eat a very healthy, real-food diet. (Not because I pressured them –they are just intelligent consumers, honestly.)

So Lila’s exposure to junk food and the bright packaging is minimal and she would have had no conditioning to tell her that inside these packets are sweet tasting, moreish foods. She just wouldn’t know. Yet something about the design of the boxes sets off a reaction in her brain which gives her the drive to search for it in bags of shopping or reach up onto a shelf and carry it all the way down the hall to me in the kitchen.

It is no secret that kids as young as Lila are directly targeted by advertising, not just on TV but also techniques such as free gifts, competitions, games and puzzles, website games and movie promotions.

And that marketing is why breakfast becomes a minefield for well meaning parents to negotiate.

Next time you are at the supermarket, wander down the breakfast aisle and take note of the packaging. It all looks fantastic. Aside from the relentless use of every bright colour in the rainbow, you will see three elements competing for your attention: chocolate, punchy bright berries and fruit and fibre.

In my house over the years, we have been through most of the cereal crazes as each of our five children has begged to be allowed a new brand and their busy working mum (former) bought them.

Have you ever noticed Jerry Seinfeld’s cereal shelf in the kitchen on Seinfeld? Next time you watch the show have a look. One internet source sets the number at nine, mostly cornflakes and shredded wheat. His cereal shelf looks exactly how ours looked for years, as every child claimed a new brand as theirs.

While you’re in the breakfast cereal aisle, see if you can find one box which lists the sugar content per 100g at less than 15g, which is what we should aim for when buying our kids cereal.

Consumer magazine conducted a survey of our breakfast cereals in 2008 and found that seven products had more than 40 per cent sugar – over three teaspoons in a 30g serve. I’ve listed them at the end of the chapter for you, in case they’re sitting on your Seinfeld cereal shelf. One of them is the aforementioned Kellogg’s Froot Loops which I prevented Lila from eating.

My focus when first studying this cereal was primarily on the three artificial colours used in it (see my findings below) but then I worked out that, if Lila had been allowed her Froot Loops with milk, she would have consumed 4.3 teaspoons of sugar in her bowl.

I can guarantee you will not find a box of cereal in the supermarket with low sugar until you come to Weet-Bix. Plain old Weet-Bix is the star of the cereal aisle, at just 2.8g per 100g. Admittedly, a lot of people add sugar, but at least you can control that and most kids enjoy eating them.

Lila eats two “bix” for breakfast every morning and won’t be swayed from them even when her grandpa is offering to make her sausages and eggs.

My mother, Elis, however, can’t stand them. Something to do with trying to avoid eating them when she was a child by sneezing into them, thinking her patents would deem that a reasonable enough excuse not to have to eat them. But no. She had to eat every last bit and has never touched them since.

As a guide, when you are out shopping, if sugar appears in the ingredients list directly under the name of the cereal, such as rice, corn or wheat, that means that the second biggest ingredient in there is sugar, and you should put it straight back on the shelf.

The other thing you need to think about is salt levels (fewer than 400mg sodium per 100g of cereal) and fibre.

We all know that we don’t get enough fibre in our diets. It’s good for bowel health and digestion and the things that give you fibre – fresh fruit, veges and wholegrains – tend to be really nutritious and good for you. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed a trend for food manufacturers to add what I call “faux fibre” to their processed foods, using vegetable gums and inulin, which is a substance that occurs naturally in root vegetables, particularly chicory. Other additions include polydextrose, which is created out of dextrose (glucose), sorbitol, a low-calorie carbohydrate, and citric acid to add to processed foods, usually to provide fibre. It is called a functional fibre because no one knows if it has the same health benefits as fibre found in real foods.

A good guide for children’s fibre requirements is 5g to 15g per 100g, so look out for that on the label, and if you see inulin or vegetable gum in the ingredients panel, reject it in favour of something which uses wholegrains and fruit to provide fibre.

Another problem with most breakfast cereals is the fact that they are extruded. This means perfectly good wholegrains are ground up, made into a slurry with liquid, heated to high temperatures, then pressurised through small holes to create shapes such as rings, flakes or puffs. You have to wonder just how much nutrition gets killed off in the process with those high heats and pressures.

OFTEN WHEN I’M out and about, people like to talk about the food column and what it has taught them.

“Thank goodness Krispies are okay,” said my aunt. “They’re my favourite biscuit.”

“I haven’t touched a raspberry jam slice since the day I read your column,” said a woman I met at a knitting bee.

And, of course, many people have suggestions for foods I should look at. By far the most disturbing conversation along these lines with a woman I was doing some work with.

“I have this friend who basically throws those cartons of Up&Go at her kids from dawn until dusk,” she said. “That’s all they eat. For breakfast they sit there in the car sucking on them on their way to school, they have another one with their lunch and sometimes dinner too. I’ve tried to tell her they need some real food but she believes they are good for them. Are they?”

Then I got the emails about UP&Go: “My kids have one every day and I’m wondering how healthy they are,” said one mother.

“I really don’t like this product because it has so much sugar and it’s like this giving your child a milkshake for breakfast,” said another.

I was well acquainted with Up&Go. My son Daniel has never been a great breakfast eater, and so for a while he took one of these with him but in the end he didn’t even eat those, claiming the texture was weird.

Up&Go, for those who are not familiar with it, is a drink which is endorsed by the All Blacks in its advertising campaign and claims on the box to have “the protein, energy and dietary fibre of 2 Weet-Bix and milk”.

It is reasonable that parents like myself would read that and presume that in the little box we are handing over to our kids is simply two Weet-Bix and some milk all mashed up. And presumably it would have the same nutritional benefits.

Wrong.

The label should also state that it has 11.7g more sugar and 13 more ingredients than a simple bowl of Weet-Bix and milk. By the time I’d finished writing the column I was quite angry with Sanitarium for the misconception and wrote: “Is it really that hard to get a kid to sit down at the kitchen table and eat solid food these days? Are we raising a nation of astronauts in training who need to develop a taste for liquid food?”

I think if you’ve got a kid who needs something quick to eat in the car you can throw them a banana. And if you’ve got a kid who only likes to drink their meals, whip up a smoothie, put it in a bottle and let them drink that. On the Sanitarium website they even recommend that you throw a Weet-Bix into the smoothies.

I also took a look at Nestlé Milo Oats, mainly because Pearl had picked them up in the super-market and loved them. I’m a big fan of oats, as not only are they a good source of fibre but they also do wonderful soothing things to your digestive system.

Nestlé have a range of breakfast cereals marketed under the Milo name and some are better than others. Milo Oats is a better one.

I found that they weren’t too high in sugar and were a good source of fibre. I saw them as a great food to get kids interested in porridge for breakfast. I also found a study which showed that children who had oats for breakfast had better spatial memory (which means being able to remember geographical details like the interior of your house), better short-term memory and better listening attention than children who ate ready-to-eat cereal or no breakfast at all. Pearl was very relieved.

PUTTING THE CHOICE of cereal for your kids aside, there is a bigger problem emerging on the horizon for families, and that’s the kid who just won’t eat breakfast. This is cause for concern because every study you read emphasises the importance of breakfast for kids to kickstart their brains and give them the energy to see them through a day of learning school.

One University of Sydney study, conveniently commissioned by Kellogg’s, looked at the type of breakfast eaten by 800 New South Wales children aged eight to 16, across 19 different schools. The students who ate breakfast before their tests performed better, and those who ate the most nutritious breakfasts, such as cereal and milk, or eggs on toast, got the highest scores. They also scored higher on literacy and numeracy tests than their classmates who ate only toast.

It is easy to see why many parents faced with a non breakfast-child will be less fussy about the food they consume, reasoning that at least they’re eating something. We let two of our children, Daniel and his step-sister Alex, go to school on a diet of Pop-Tarts (basically jam-filled pastries you heat up in the toaster) for months because we were just so glad they were eating something.

In the end we settled on toasted sandwiches, smoothies and, if all else failed, a banana. I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t like the taste and as a food they have a lot going for them. They have lots of carbohydrates for energy, are low in fat, and are potassium-rich, which is great for muscles. They also have some protein and iron.

Instead of throwing an Up&Go at your child on the way to school, swap it for a banana a carton of milk, which will give protein, calcium, zinc, vitamins A and B, and iodine.

I’m very much a toast and a cup of tea girl at breakfast, and it gives me enough energy, even with a gym work out to see me through to lunch. Which is when I go outside to raid the chicken coop and find some delicious, bright yellow-yolked eggs.

MY FINDINGS

Nestlé Milo Oats

I see this as a great transition product to get children who may be used to the a diet of high sugar processed breakfast cereal used to the taste and texture of oats which are a very healthy option for the reasons above. By the time they’ve gone through a packet of these, they might just like a bowl of real porridge with some fresh banana and honey mixed in which is less sweet option than this product and better for them. It also means that your child sets off on a cold winter’s morning with a warm breakfast in their stomach, which is a nice old-fashioned thing to do, and the effect of the oats on their memory and listening skills might be good too.

Summary:

Three teaspoons of sugar in every serving if made with milk, but with water only one and half teaspoons.

20g of oats in every serve which is a great option for good nutrition, and oats have proven benefits for your child’s memory and listening skills.

A great transition food to get your child interested in eating porridge on a winter’s morning.

Kellogg’s Froot Loops

There is just something irresistible to children about food which comes in fun colours and Froot Loops certainly fulfils that expectation. It even has the sell line “a fun fuel for adventurous kids.”

There is no doubting your kids will love this cereal and hoover it down. But why not teach your children that real food doesn’t come in six fun, mostly artificial colours? Most children are quite happy to eat Weet-Bix which by comparison has only 0.8g of sugar per serve or 6.8g per serve with milk. It also uses wholegrains and has more fibre. Top it with some fresh fruit, like strawberries and peaches, and you have a great breakfast with plenty of natural colour.

And perhaps follow a rule for eating by the author of Food Rules, Michael Pollan, who says “Don’t eat breakfast cereals that change the colour of the milk.’’

Summary:

Contains 38 per cent sugar.

Has three artificial colours which are banned in other countries.

Uses natural flavourings.

Photos by Fischer Twins Etienne Girardet rawpixel Peter Lewicki

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