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#I'm not going to handle tommorow well
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I will never emotionally recover from last night this may be the death of me but.
My headcanon as to why Dapper couldn't crawl in the nightmare was because he got struck across the chest/arms in a fashion that would have made crawling extremely painful.
And even though he was trying so hard to do so for his dad, because God knows he's never heard his father that panicked, it was a situation where he just couldn't move.
He's coping with such a bad nightmare by staying with his animals and his dad, who is definitely going to be a bit more protective and careful with Dapper from now on - even if Dapper isn't the biggest fan of it.
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ravenwitch45 · 1 year
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Hello, Could you do an imp servant reader x Crimson Knolastname?
Thank you
Ah Crimson my ol bread and butter at this point XP Sure thing! Not sure what exactly you mean by 'servant' so I'll just write as essentially your a staff member like the maid, like actual employment instead of like a slave, cause I prefer it that way personally.
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Crimson with an Imp Servant Reader.
Well you might not expect it with his general demeanor with his lackeys, Crimson actually treats and pays those who handle the day to day tasks of the manor pretty well, good treatment encourages loyalty and tight lips after all.
He's not all lax with them though, he wants them to do their job and to him that's their sole purpose. As long as they do that and don't bother him unnecessarily he pays them little attention.
That's how it was with you too until, who eventually helped the other staff around the house with everything at times, before Crimson eventually decided it might help him to have a personal assistant of sorts. Picking you out of the blue and seemingly at random.
You of course had interacted with Crimson before, he was your boss and you talked at times. But your job going from sometimes catching a glimpse and maybe conversation from him, to being on helping him specifically was a change for sure.
You handled it okay, you kinda were a general helper around the manor so you knew how to do a lot of stuff. You kept notes in order, made sure he got fed, readied baths and picked out clothes. Managing to do it all with lukewarm thanks from the mob boss.
He eventually warmed up to you, slow as a sloth but still. Starts asking you stay to talk with him at times, and generally being more friendly to you. Which you appreciate of course.
But eventually you realize that he's brinking you along on more things then necessary, and also being very irritable if anyone messes or even questions you, which while you appreciate, confuses you considering his pretty uninvolved approach with his staff.
Eventially he ends up not only asking you to stay with him for dinner, but also getting the chefs to make you dinner as well, a meal you realize you mentioned it once, saying you liked it during one of your chats. And then your alot more suspiscous at the care he puts into treating you.
You eat with him, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, but it keeps happening, you also recieving some gifts from him too. And the third time you have dinner with him, you question why he's being so nice to you. Him dismissing it with a blush you notice, despite his red skin making your curiosity peak.
"If i didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to be romantic with me Crimson sir."You state matter of factly, making his eyes go wide before he shrugs with a sigh
"I think I'm allowed to be nice in my home, if I want things to be pleasant with someone I happen to spend so much time with"Is the answer you get, not being a no or yes which frustrates you, but you shrug it off as you get up, it's the end of the day anyway, late dinner and all and your finished, saying goodbye as you put your coat on before stopping and turning back to him.
"By the way, since your feel so generous to treat me to dinner multiple times, if you feel like it, show up at my place tommorow at seven, I'll give you some dinner if you want." and with that you leave, leaving a very flustered mob boss in your wake. Okay there you go, probably one of my weaker ones If I'm gonna be honest, but tried my best with the idea XP Hope you enjoy!
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on-noon · 8 months
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Calista came home to her mom sitting tired at the table, a sandwich half-made in front of her.
When she saw Calista enter, she hurriedly put together the sandwich. Calissta made herself one as well, and sat down across from her mother.
"Calista, I have a hard request to ask of you. Someone who I know from the academy called me today. He asked that you go on a date with his son. I'm sorry, I couldn't say no, he didn't leave me any time. And you know how hard it is for me to go against anyone from the academy."
"I'll do it. I can handle one date. What time?"
"Tommorrow. At seven, at the Restraunt Sivario"
Calista nodded, and they ate the rest of their sandwiches in silence.
Sebastian knelt before his father, Llynel.
"Tommorow you will be having a date with the daughter of one of my friends from the academy. You will be at Sivario at a quarter to seven."
"Yes, father." Sebastian said. Right upon leaving his father's study, Sebastian's brothers came up to him.
"So, Chin, I heard you got a date. Finally," Aster said.
"Only because dad set it up for you," Raythier said.
Sebastian smiled his awkward smile.
"But the date will still be up to him. Need some pointers?" Aster said.
"I'll be fine, thank you."
"We at least need to help you get dressed," Jochlan said. Sebastian nodded.
Calista was walking home from her long shift at work. She was thinking of all the homework she had to do. She looked at her watch. 6:40. She had a good few hours to get a chunk knocked out. Oh. The date. She had to get all the way downtown, a thirty minute walk.
She turned around and picked upon the pace. The quicker she got to the stupid date, the quicker it would get over.
Sebastian arrived in a new tailored suit, with a sword at his side at Sivario at precisely 6:45. He walked in.
"Table for two, please. In the best table for date," Sebastian says.
The server leads Sebastian to a table secluded in the corner.
"Could I ask for the name of the person you are waiting for?"
"Calista Porthos."
The server nodded, and turned to leave.
"Could you bring out the best wine you have?" Sebastian asked.
"I will warn you. Our best wine costs ten thousand coin, more expensive than a young person such as you should be spending on a date."
"I have room for it in my budget, worry not."
The server nodded.
Calista arrived at Restraunt Sivario at 7:12, in her sweatshirt and pants, her hair a mess.
"Can I help you?" the server asked.
"I'm supposed to be here for a date. I'm late." Calista said.
"Are you Calista Porthos?"
Calista nodded.
She followed the server back to a corner of the restaurant. She sat down across from Sebastian, in his full suit. She hurriedly brushed back her hair.
"Hello, Calista," Sebastian said. "It is great to meet you."
Calista nodded and got seated. "I don't think I know your name. And sorry I'm late, my shift went longer than scheduled."
"No worries about that, I'm glad you were able to make it. I'm Sebastian Ernos."
Calista looked at the wine glass in front of her, and the wine glass in front of Sebastian.
"I don't really drink," she said.
Sebastian nodded. He waved the waiter over.
"Could you please take away the wine?" Sebastian said.
Both of them sat in silence as the waiter took away the glasses and the bottle, and then they watched him carry the tray away.
"What hobbies do you have?" Sebastian asked.
"Reading, although I haven't read a good book in a while," Calista said. "What about you?"
"I'm not sure. I'm on a quiz bowl team and I fence." He brushed his hand through his hair, showing his Academy tattoo on his forehead.
The same tattoo Calista's mother always tried to hide.
The waiter brought out two menus.
Sebastian looked at it quickly, then set it down.
"Manwa al Lain, is that some sort of sheep meat?" Calista asked.
"I think so. It's a meat that's covered in sauce with herbs sprinkled on top, I've never been certain of the meet, but it has a texture consistent of that of lamb."
The waiter returned "Are you ready to order?"
After Calista nodded, Sebastian did as well.
"I'd like the Scalia Noodles," he said.
"Could I get the Chicken Lamni?" Calista asked.
The server nodded and wrote down the orders.
After the server left, the two started talking about their respective schools, starting with what classes they were each in.
"Linear algebra is my favorite class I've ever taken, although that might just be because we get to do some very cool proofs in it at my school," Calista said. "It's a lot of work though."
"I have to take it next year, and I'm not looking forward to it. I prefer the more concrete subjects to math."
"If you don't like math why are you taking linear? I really enjoyed it, but that's specifically because I enjoy math."
"The Academy requires it to graduate."
"Of course it does," Calista says.
The server brings out their food.
Calista unrolls the silverware napkin to find three forks, two of which are identical, and the third a smaller version. She decided to use the small fork, for fun.
Sebastian ate his meal, trying to match the pace of Calista. She was awkward in eating it, poking at it at first, and so Sebastian ate small bites, and took breaks so that she wouldn't still be eating long after she finished.
Calista ate fast once she had tried everything, she found it all to her liking except whatever leaf they put on the side of the meat.
Sebastian than ate faster, trying to match Calista's speed. But, bound by the constraints of manners he had learned, he found he could not reach her pace.
And so, caught in this dilemma, Sebastian had to make a choice. He took bigger forkfuls of noodles, put them into his mouth even with noodles already there.
"You really love those noodles, huh?" Calista asked.
Sebastian waited while chewing the huge glob of food inside his mouth. Once he finally swallowed, he replied "They're my favorite thing at this restaurant."
By this point, Calista had finished three-quarters of her meal, and Sebastian two-thirds. Sebastian had forgotten just how many noodles the bowl held.
He ended up taking an extra two minutes to finish after Calista had scraped the last of the sauce off her plate.
The server came by and took the plates, "Shall I bring you a desert menu?"
Sebastian looked at Calista.
Calista was staring at Sebastian.
"What would you like?" Sebastian asked.
"Nothing tonight," Calista said.
The server nodded, and left to get the bill.
"Would you like me to walk with you to your car? I know the parking around here is a mess," Sebastian said.
"I walked here"
"If you want, I could drive you home."
"That would be nice, thank you."
The server brought out the check. 10,321 coin. Sebastian took the receipt and signed it. He touched his wrist to the chip reader, the standard tip he gave automatically deducted. He nodded his thanks to the server and they left.
Sebastian and Calista walked outside to the side of the building. While calling his car down, Sebastian also increased the tip percent, as he had found the server very helpful.
His car floated down from its parking spot on the roof. Immediately once it rested on the ground, Sebastian opened the passenger side door for Calista.
Once they were both in the car, and Calista's address was plugged in as the destination, Calista apologized to Sebastian.
"I'm sorry for cutting the date short, I've got a lot of homework to get caught up on."
"It's alright." Sebastian said. "It didn't seem like you were enjoying the time either."
"The restraunt was too fancy. I felt like I didn't fit in there."
"Really? My brothers agreed that it was the best place in the city for a date. But I guess they can be wrong."
"How about this," the words were slipping out of Calista's mouth before she had thought them through. "I'm free this Saturday for lunch. I'll show you my favorite date spot, it's a little sandwich shop."
Sebastian and Calista exchanged phone numbers, and the car beeped that it had reached its destination.
"I'll text you the time and place, thanks for driving me," Calista said while exiting the car.
Once she entered her house, Calista texted her friend, Iris. "i think i've got a second date with a guy on saturday"
Sebastian drove away, thinking about Saturday. He'd have to skip the award banquet, but he'd sat through the three previous years' ceremonies.
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cardinaldante · 4 months
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Greetings siblings of the church! I.. didn't manage to get sleep last night, and was very cranky in the morning. I made sure to still be nice to the person banging on my door in the morning and waking me up. It was a sister, and she told me that the brother who was supposed to be showing the children around had gotten sick, and could I please take them on a tour of the church?
I asked Aurora and Phantom if they wanted to come with me, and they said yes. I let myself be dragged over to the children, and put on my excited voice and face when I met them. I explained to the children about the ghouls first, and warned them about both Sodo and Rain. Mountain only went after adults, but Sodo and Rain didn't care who they hurt or killed. Mountain, at least, had morals. The other two apparently didn't. I told them that Aurora and Phantom were the best ghouls to come to if they needed help, and then we set off on our tour.
I showed them around all of the church apart from two places. Or well, three if you counted the lake as one place. I warned the kids away from the crypts, and told them that there were ghost and dangerous creatures that only ghouls could handle down there. To help my point, I guess, Papa Nihil floated from a wall nearby and through the door to the crypts. I had to calm down ALOT of scared kids until they were calm enough for us to continue. If Papa Nihil was still alive I would strangle him. I also warned them away from the ghouls wing and the lake. I told them that the ghouls liked their privacy and while I and the Papa's were able to go in, others may not be so happy. I reminded them of Rain and Sodo again as a just incase.
I told them to never go by the lake because Rain liked to hunt there and most of them didn't know how to swim, so that's good. Not good but.. they'll stay safe. After that I gave them the speil about the Papa's and how they shouldn't be rude or anything to them as they run the church, and reminded them again that they were able to pick whichever religion they chose. Aurora piped up and told them they she was happy to have newcomers, and that she was excited to see them all grow. Better than what I could have done. I dropped the children back off with sister who'd waken me up, and headed back to my room.
I ran into Jacob before I was able to get there. He had come to see me again. I told Aurora and Phantom that I'd see them later and me and Jacob took a walk around the place, talking about our day. He told me that Father DeFroque had been.. weirder than the last priest he'd studies under. For one, while he hadn't said anything bad about the church, he was still letting the town's people think that we were the reason for their people dying. Papa Copia had cleared that all up with the cops. He'd explained (with, if I remember what Phil had told me, a bit of mind control on Aethers part. And speaking of Phil, after ritual night, I hadn't seen him as much. I'm glad about that, I was getting annoyed by the smothering. I should go visit him tommorow, siblings.) to the cops about Saltarian being a serial killer, and after trying to kill the Papa's and I, I had reacted in self defense and killed him.
Jacob told me that lots of people belived it(apparently Saltarian wasn't too well liked outside of the church either) but most didn't. Father DeFroque was getting them riled up. Apparently he wanted to take a tour of the satanic church tommorow, on Sunday, after their church service ends, and I told Jacob that all was welcomed here. We may be satanist, but we're not assholes. We'll let anyone join and/or look over the church if they'd like. I know Brother Tobias and Brother Justin aren't even satanist- they're just here.
We talked for a bit more before he had to leave, and I walked him to the gates and watched as he headed off. Aether was waiting for me litterally the moment I turned around- and no, siblings, I did NOT scream! I was just startled. I asked him what he was doing, sneaking up on me like that, and he told me he looked over my symptoms from the other day, from the church. He told me that I showed all signs of when a ghoul or demon enters church grounds, but the problem was, why was I showing those signs.
I repeated what I said yesterday- I probably just got a bit of hell stuck in me. Aether said that wasn't possible- but he'll let me believe that for now as he worked out why I was being so weird. He told me Sodo wanted to see me- and then told me to not take anything from him, which felt contradictory. We headed over to the ghouls wing after that, and Sodo was waiting outside.
He told me he hadn't actually thanked me for saving the Papa's and clearing Ifrits name- even if the ghoul had attacked me in his last moments on earth- and that he wanted to give me something. Sodo handed me a box, and after a glance at Aether, who shrugged, I took it and opened it. Inside was a few small bottles of tequila, and a bottle of fireball. While I did drink on ritual night, I... Wasn't too keen on replaying that decision. At least, not while any Papa's were around. Satan below, I'm turning into a little rebel, huh?
Unfortunately Aether saw the inside of the box and snatched it from me, before telling Sodo(who he called Dewdrop, which, huh. Swiss had told me so long ago not to call him that, but Aether calls him that and Sodo cringes away from him. Was he scared of Aether? I would be.) that he couldn't just give someone underage alcohol. Sodo replied that we were in Italy, and it shouldn't matter. Aether said something in their language, shoved the box back into his arms, and dragged me off. I looked back at Sodo and he just winked at me, and somehow, I knew I'd find the box somewhere in my room during the coming days.
Aether dragged me to my office and told me to 'work on some work' so I got started and decided to update you all and get started on the feildtrips the children would be going on. I think the first place has to be a zoo and a aquarium. Not because I love the zoo and the aquarium, but... Well, okay, that's a lie it's because I love the zoo and the aquarium. Anyways, Aether is glaring daggers at me, so I should get to work before he murders me. That would be bad.
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xuriri · 1 year
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Lovers
Seokmin x reader!!
Genre;fluff , slightly angst(or not hehe), collage au!!!
Warning;sick reader
How do we describe seokmin as your boyfriend?
seokmin as your boyfriend would do everything in his power to make sure your life was as joyful and fun as possible. one of the most important things to him is your happiness. dates with him will almost always be nights on the town to see a movie, dinner, or just a long drive. he loves to spend time alone with you, and in return, desires words of praise (whether it be about your relationship or other things). more often than not, time alone with him turns into a much-needed nap. In fact, when seokmin had to share a bed with his roommate wonwoo once, he ended up hugging him because he's so used to that other person being you. (and months later, his friends tease him about it still)
Silly right and as for seokmin he would describe you as a loving person with a unique personality strong independent woman and lastly a wife material to him he even swear to be with you forever
Its the student council's meeting that time and as he spotted you through the door making your way to the table and as set an eye on you he couldn't think more he was like dude this woman will be the death of me
He likes to listen on your rants whenever you feel annoyed or hating something or rather someone then end up hating it too bestie vibes
And have i mentioned? You have been together for 4 years and had been living with each for 2 years now? That's insane
You guys just clicked together and it's almost perfect not until..
"I'm breaking up with you seokmin"
This words rang in his head many times he couldn't process the words the inky question running through his head was
Why?
Why the sudden blunt Decision when everything is so perfect between the two of you?
"why? What happened baby? Did i do something wrong? Is this a prank "
He asked as he tried to held his woman's hand but she backed away
"no seokmin you didn't do anything wrong you're perfect"
She said not looking at him property this made him annoyed
"then why are you suddenly asking for break up? If it's a prank this isn't funny i swear "
She looked at him with a blank face although they say eyes can't lie you can still see the hint of guilt in her
"I'm going abroad tommorow I'll be living there for good and i dont think LDR would work on us "
"is that all y/n? Is that all the reason why you have to be breaking up with me? We can do it actually well i can why are you doubting our relationship?"
He said almost shouted each words
"you know we can't ,if you can do it well I can't we just going to overthink a lot and might not handle it properly"
You could really tell seokmin is deeply hurt but also angry at the fact that you are now doubting the relationship and not trusting him
"dont you trust me y/n? Dont you have a Faith in our relationship? You know it deep down that we can handle it! Trust me baby we can, stop this nonsense please i loveyou so much don't do this to me"
He was tearing up now seeing him like this makes her even more guilty
"im sorry seokmin but i made up my mind ,Im breaking up with you and that's it i hope you find a better person for you"
"you're the only person who's better to me! I dont understand your reason right now baby im not agreeing of us breaking apart I can't let you....go"
He kneeled down on her while crying making her teared up a bit it's not her intention to hurt him it's just she have to do this for his own good
"goodbye seokmin I'm really sorry"
She turn away from the man and Walked away leaving the poor man behind in his knees crying for her to come back
.
.
.
.
Seokmin's POV
"man it's been a 7 months aren't you moved on already?" Jeonghan reminded me
Still haven't moved on i still love her but i also hate her for leaving me out of the blue
"she's-"
I was interupted by the sound of my phone i look at the phone caller i was surprised to see ,y/n's mother calling me i answered it
"hello?"i ask in the other line her mom was sighning deeply
"i need to tell you something seokminah "
"im all ears "
"my daughter didn't mean for you both to break up she was blunt i know i know you deserve to know "
"know what mrs l/n "
"y/n before you two even broke up 2 weeks before that we Rushed her to the hospital because she fainted only to find out her lung cancer was getting worse
She's scared about things wouldn't work between the two of you because she said she's dying she can't have you worrying about her she dont want you to be lonely "
The phone ended
She's sick and didn't even bother telling me? I could be in her side right now fuck
"tell cheol i wont be home I'm booking a flight to canada it's urgent "
Y/n's POV
Knock knock....
I Sighed annoyingly shout softly
"ma i said i don't want to eat! Stop it leave me alone"
The door opened revealing the most handsome man in earth ,my first love
"seokmin? What are you doing here!?"
He smiled at me
"hi gorgeous"
"stop what's going on and what? Have you seen me? Bro im bald now and looking so pale as fuck"
"why didn't you tell me about this? You lied if it wasn't to mrs l/n i wouldn't know a thing i could have been in your side for the past few months taking care of your clumsy ass but instead you keep it to yourself then leaving me behind"
" i-im sorry seokmin I didn't mean all of it i didn't mean to lie i just don't want you to worry"
"I'm always telling you in our relationship communication is important"
"go back to korea seokmin please i can take care of myself"
It hurts him i know but i really can do this alone
"no mrs l/n said i can stay here whenever i want don't tell me what i do i will stay here and take care of you"
"do you not understand seokmin!? Im dying! I'm going to die! I told you to find someone else why did you even came here"
Im now crying mess but seems like it was nothing to him as if he fully understand the situation
He came towards me and hugged me i dont have much strength for pushing him so i just let him
"I can't find someone else i promised to myself i will only love you and only you stop being stubborn love"
I just cried harder on his chest
"you're so stupid"
"yea stupidly inlove with you i know "
.
.
.
.
Seokmin's POV
It's been 4 years now a lot has changed since that day
Right now im looking at my beautiful woman's picture admiring her once more remembering the flashbacks how'd he met you ,how he did the first move and how you said yes to him
"you fought really bravely my love im ao proud of you"
Then all of a sudden a smack came to his head he turn to see the pretty woman
"why the heck are you like that i didn't die stupid"
He just smiled and scratch the back of his head
"why? You really fought it right your sickness had vanished you look so healthy Thanks to your doctor's to your family and thanks to you mylove for surviving the cancer"
He kissed her forehead then her lips after only making the girl giggle
"iloveyou min-min"
"i loveyou more infinity and beyond my love"
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beelzebubbutachef · 2 years
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Daily life of a matchmaker in multi fanfic: Ghost Bride Edition
by Alice Bylur
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I was out doing my thing when I heard a commotion from fellow dorm mate.
Ignihyde A: senior Bylur! Senior Bylur!
"sup, ((faceless)) dorm mate?" I greeted him. He seems really worried about something but he was to nervous or bewailed to say more of the topic
"a twist of old school, shotgun marriage genre happen! The tragic character is our dorm leader! The SSR mecha brother want to unleash noble phantasm to the school ground if dorm leader isn't freed." Dorm mate B says with very excitement on their very being.
I felt my head hurt when I realize he spoke in an very odd way just now. but I still understand what he meant.
"enemy stat?" I ask in a serious voice to get along with his energy. Dorm mate A who before was super nervous get offer me hologram scene. It show picture of someone familiar ghost bride and the current victim she slapped.
"...sigh. I guess we go give our red envelope." I have no plan joining the event. Might as well do idia a favor and do his daily pull for him in his game while his out.
"VICE WARDEN, PLS SAVE DORM WARDEN!!" the three leech on me when I was about to leave the matter be. "Stop calling me vice warden. I'm not even haft smart as you guys in technology." I tried to remove them from my legs. But they won't badge at all.
"your the only one with Ortho who's official student that can talk to Dorm warden and handle matter of the dorm with him!" (I.D.A)
"I did nothing but talk to you guys, what matter of the dorm?"
"if prefect shroud get married your probably gonna be the next prefect." (I.D.C)
"..." Like that's going to happen. Let me go back to my room.
"well give you packs of shawarma from the other countries tommorow if you save him."(I.D.A)
"You better start ordering those shawarma. Imma go save him now." I suddenly want to join the fun. Totally not bribe to do this.
└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚->
I stared at my note and try to remember if this is someone route but realize it's not. It's a free space. I smirk at the easy thought of having free shawarmas.
I turn myself invisible and walk inside the wedding hall.
I look at everyone who's frozen in place because of the slap. I put a ice rose to lilia pocket which is a force habit. He seems to notice I was here when he saw it yet he keep quite. Through a smirk appear on his face.
"someone anyonesavemeeee." I heard idia cried out beside the excited bride. This makes me think about something. She seems familiar to someone. Hmm.
I was beside idia already and already carried him like a baby on my hold, through still invisible. He froze up which made me laugh.
My laughter did throw me off but I'm already a few step away from the bride.
"you..." The bride realize her groom is stolen under her nose.
I become visible as I put idia down beside me.
"aliceshialiceshisavemeeeee." Idia cried beside me.
"greeting, my name is Alice Bylur. And I'm taking my dorm prefect back." I says with a smile. She seems angry than before.
"your a Bylur..." She and the ghost guard looks furious, right now. That I realize, I think I know them for a different reason. It's my family member fault they died. Oops.
[ "all is fiction, it's a world of text and monologue. An illusion that soon be your reality." ] Using my unique magic the world become a word app and I erase their information about me and My family fault about their tragedy. When the world come back to normal, they look less furious but I felt drained.
[ all is fiction, love can break a spell. Platonic or true love. Curse can be broken.] I use my unique magic again which made idia to be free from the ghost bride magic, the others too would be free later but I already collapse on the floor as I mutter to idia: RUN YOU SUSSY BAKA.
└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚>
I gain conscious a few days later, Idia is playing a video game beside my bed.
"agh... Where's My shawarma." Is My first question. I have priority. Those dorm mates better give me those after what I did.
*its on the refrigerator." He put down his game and stared at me. "You shouldn't use your unique magic if it's bad for you "
"I'm not gonna die. If that's worried you. It's just a simple draw back. The worse case would happen is getting another name." I joked as I remember I should have another name but it was gone now.
He sigh but let is slide.
"thanks." He mumble with his hair edge turning pink. I laugh and says:
Your My friend. And friends come first than anything.
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ram-de · 5 months
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selfish
How do I cope with the realization that I'm a selfish human being? Tommorow I'm going to spend a day following mom's for a relative's marriage (I don't know who they are and I don't really care) while also having my nephew Long with that. And. Having to perhaps babysit them the whole day.
What I don't like?
Babysitting. It's taxing. It's exhausting. It's emotionally draining. I'm sorry but baby are not for me. I can handle playing with them for like maybe an hour ONE AT TIME. Having to babysit MORE THAN ONE. is so. Fuck me, I'm sorry for being a shitty person. Kids absorb all the attention and I don't have all that.
Lack of choice. Mom. Mom is leaning heavy on 'if you don't want to take care of them then don't' which made me feel guilty because well yes I don't. But then I'd be a shitty son just because I push that burden onto her. Fuck me.
This is horrible and I'm writing horrible things. But I can't even say it to them??? To my sister who asked me for look after her kids tommorow, which I promptly nod and said 'it's ok'. Like. I feel like I'm about to burst. And I hate it for me. I hate it for everyone. Because I'm a shitty uncle. No wonder I'm so lonely. I couldn't even be kind and helpful.
Fuck me. I want to spend a day back in my place. I'm tired.
Like I love my family I really do but sometimes I felt so empty. That all I do would be reduced to nothing if they knew I'm a fucking homosexual. I feel like a fraud because who am I? It's so confusing because I want their validation, to tell me I'm okay on my own but I'm so fucking scared of the implication at the same time.
Does whatever that I do will matter if I'm gone? Will they even care about me? People just moving along with life? I'm just opening all worms outta the cans.
It's so. I shouldn't be thinking about this. But just the thought of "they wouldn't like me if they knew" fucking crushed me. Would I be still be the son my parents cherished if they knew? Would I be the brother my siblings adored if they knew? Would I have a place here if they knew? Would they hate me for being such a sinful presence? Would they tell me to go away? Would they not want to see me at family gatherings anymore? Would I be told to distance myself from my nephews in case I would cause an /influence/ on them? Would anything I do matters if they knew?
Fuck me. Am I just doing everything to gain my family validation? Who I don't even know this would be above their boundaries or not.
I want to live. Man. I want to live like I belong. Belong in my own body. Belong in a family. I want to live. I'm so fucking jealous of my sisters being married. They can love. They can be loved. They have one more place where they can belong. I can't.
My love is wrong. I can't receive love. I don't even love myself at times. I'm so. I wrote about being alone many times. Thinking I'd be fine growing old alone in a house. Living a peaceful celibacy with a cat or stuff. But that's. That's so lonely. I had enough feeling lonely. Man. This is so unfair. Everything is so unfair. Aahhh....!!
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hanafubukki · 2 years
Note
Just Finnish all of the cleaning  for Eid Mubarak ( ;∀;)
Yes preparing Eid Mubarak is hard, and tommorow is Eid Mubarak already?? How fast  (〇o〇;)
Time really fly fast  (*´∇`)ノ
Even if i were tired i will always message you when i can dear  (∩´∀`∩)💕
Aww thank you for caring about my health (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡
Visits my grandma is gonna be the Big event for tomorrow (❁´◡`❁)
Ahh i really wanted to put hennaa but i don't have much time to do it, i'm pretty bussy ( ;∀;)
Happy Eid Mubarak for tomorrow for you and Hanaa (≚ᄌ≚)ℒℴѵℯ❤  
          💗💗
       💗💗💗
     💗💗💗💗
  💗💗💗💗💗
💗💗💗💗💗💗
HAHAHAHAHA TRUE
It's funny how they think "I will absolutely got accept" and boom got slap  ( ̄∇ ̄)
SJFJFIKGOG The moment they act like saving Idia is not important anymore and just root for Eliza to kiss Idia   LMAOOO
Malleus helps Yuu and the others fix the CDC stage is pretty whole some for me  (≧∇≦)/
Yes. Mal Mal steal my heart already (๑•ᴗ•๑)♡
Can you be my Imam Mal Mal? ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)
HAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL DEFINITIFLY SAID THIS TO HIM LMAOO
Malleus didn't got invited in "Twisted wonderland is not an otome game" meeting  (ノ_-;)
I made a whole ppt for it yes  ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)
I THOUGHT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO WATCH THE TRANSLATION BUT PLAY THE ENG
But sadly I uninstall twst because the storage can't handle it and I have lots of school application and it took most of my phone storage  (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)
My sis is new to I suggest her to play the eng version but my sis really goes "Well shit I don't care I will catch up twst up easily cause i'm a pro speed player"
She said she' wants Ortho ssr fairy gala because Ortho remind her of our cousins, it's pretty cute reason but she' just doesnt knew what Chapter 6 wait her for  ( ;∀;)
Yess I will save my Eid Mubarak money for buying it  (≡^∇^≡)
Actually I will go for Pomefiore because that's the cheapest thing I could find lmao  /broke life 
૧(ꂹີωꂹີૂ)
AWW YOU'RE JUST THE CUTEST ≧﹏≦ FOR LET ME BORROW THE ROBES IF YOU HAVE SJDKFIGKTOG Love you sweetie ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ*)♡
I WANTED TO DANCE WITH MALLEUS SO BADD KYAAAA
Your scenario just makes my heart float you know  ≧﹏≦
My sister plans to pull for Ortho, good luck sis  (´ω`)
AJSIDIAWAWAWWAEFOR LILIA'S VOICE IS SO HOT NO LIEE KYAAA (〃∀〃)ゞ
HEDKFKOFKFKG LILIAA YOU KNEW SO WELL HOW TO MAKE ME SIMP FOR YOU   (〃゚3゚〃)
Right I love reading Theories as well, especially angst ૧(ꂹີωꂹີૂ)
I will dear, you too take care for your self and happy Eid Mubarak sweetie (∩´∀`∩)💕
Congrats on finishing your Eid cleaning Emoticon Anonie 🥳🎉🌺💜
Yeah! Time really flew! I can’t believe one month of Ramadan passed by so quick 👏👏
I’m just happy that it’s earlier this year so it was a hit easier on everyone to fast 👏☺️
AJDNSJJDNDJD OMG ANONIE WHY ARR YOU SO SWEET?!?! Skdndjsjsjdjdje
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Of course anonie ☺️💜🌺, I always care about my friends ☺️💜 and their well-being.
Have fun visiting your grandma 👏☺️💜 I hope she stuff you with food until you can’t eat anymore 🙌🙌😆😆
Andjjshsjdjd me too Anonie, but I haven’t done it in two years so I’ll probably stay awake at an unreasonable time just to put henna on 😂😂
Thank you Anonie 🥰☺️💕🌻
EID MUBARAK EMOTICON ANONIE 🌷💕💜🌺 May you have a wonderful Eid with those you love and cherish 💕🌷🌺🌻 I hope you have fun and eat lots of food.l, and I wish you all the happiness and good health 🤲
LMAO it’s what they deserve for being so arrogant, though I did feel bad for a few of them but they got a pride knocked down a bit 🤣🤣
LMFAOOO YEEESSS imagine Idia holding that as a grudge during chapter 6? Like “you hormones tried to get me married off! I’m going to make you suffer by playing video games” lol 😂
Yeah 😭 malleus out here flirting with Yuu and also being arrogant with the other students lolol
I am rolling on the floor Anonie ajdjsjsndjd imagine malleus wearing imam clothes but then he would also have to hide the horns lolol or people are going to be concerned 🤣😂
Shhhh Anonie, let’s keep tsunotaro out of that meeting, it’s better for us 🤝🤝👀👀
Yeeess super proud of the ppt, my type of dedication 🙌🙌
NO ANONIE I DO IT TOOOO SKDJAJSHDNFRJ I judged watching them back in 2020 and kept up with most of them and then English version came out and I’m like, “let’s do both!” Plus there’s some stuff I like in jp version better lolol
😭😭 nooo why school must you suck?? Psst Anonie uninstall one of your school apps you know you want too lolol
Lmao props to your sister snskajdndd Anonie….you should steal her phone lolol
Oooof, let her enjoy the ortho fluff for now…she doesn’t need to know about…ortho ending the world 🤣🤣😅😅 he does it cause he loves…
Pomefiore is a great choice too 👏 I love the deep purple of the dorm. You can let out your inner rook or epel lolol its okay Anonie, as long as you’re happy in the end that’s what makes it worth it 🙌☺️
NO YOU ARE AKDJSJDHDJDJDE 🌺🌺💕💕 lolol
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Love you too 😭😭💕💕🌺🌺
Me too 😭😭😭 dancing with malleus under the starry night would be beautiful or maybe him singing “once upon a dream” ajdjsjssjsnsj
Ajsjajsjdje i’m glad it does 😘
Good luck 🍀 to you sister 👏👏
HE REALLY IS THIS FREAKING GRANDPA HAD OUR HEARTS RACING WITH HIS STUPID VOICE AND THEN BREAKING AND I WANTED TO STRANGLE HIM AJDJSJSNDKDKDLF
The simping energy was so freaking song and omg it’s not even chapter 7 yet wkdjshshsndndkddk
Omg Anonie, the last part of 6 is coming soon…that means a sneak preview of chapter 7 😭😭😭😭 nooook
Ekajdjsksjs same 🤝🤝 but I always try to think of a happy ending for the angst ones 😭😭
Thank you Anonie! Happy Eid Mubarak to you too dear 💕🌻🌺💜
(I made you something Anonie 😘💕)
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a-tale-of-legends · 2 years
Note
SO, you mentioned Kiran getting iskaied into Hisui and people's reactions to them going missing (I& assumed time, like... Paused until Kibben gets back but HEY, ANGST IS COOL TOO XD (/nm)) but im& curious what the heck happens when Kiran returns 0.0
Like, first of all, WHERE does Kiran return? At Spear Pillar, he wakes up in their bed, etc., etc... Is Kiran conscious immediately or passed out? 0^0 And what are people's reactions to Kibben's return ^-^?
Also, Kibben better choose Rowlet as the starter or ELSE-
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(/j)
I'm honestly torn on whether or not Kiran gets a starter. I'm not gonna play the game a third time for him ( I could just catch them a team with the save I already have), and the starters are fairly easy to come by. But,uh, I was already planning on giving Zero rowlet. Hm. Much to think about.
Anyway, onto your& question! Oh man. I feel like there's going to be a lot happening. First things first, I feel like Kiran would appear back in either Sandgem Town or Twinleaf Town- mostly for convenience. It would be a shock, to say at the least:
Rowan ( who would be 71 by the time Kiran comes back. He was 67 when Kiran disappeared), would be beyond be confused, angry and then overjoyed in that order. Confused cause, duh, Kiran's alive. Angry cause it kinda feels like a slap to the face to have mourned someone who was never truly gone. Then overjoyed cause, thank Arceus, his boy was okay.
Kiran's dad and little sister wouldn't even be angry or confused. There would be a lot of tears, soft whispers of ' your here, your here, your okay' ( Kiran responding ' I'm okay,I'm okay'). They don't let him go or leave his side unless necessary. They fear if they take their eyes away of them, Kiran will disappear all over again.
Danica, who honestly was never the one to initiate physical contact outside of shoulder pats ( not that she didn't like hugs, she do, but she was more softer if that makes sense), have Kiran the biggest hug she could possibly give. What's more, adding to Kirans confusion, is that Danica was crying. Visible emoting. Danica is known for her blank stare and while she does emote ( Kiran seen her do so), he never seen her do so, well, emotionally. Her voice was loud and wavering and she cried, holding him like theirs no tommorow. She's glad that her friend is alive. She's relieved that she wasn't wrong from thinking something was wrong. She's kinda angry at Giratina, since she knows he knows something. But that can wait.
Barry didn't believe it at first. He was still in the mindset of ' Kiran? Who's Kiran?' only to be told that Kiran was here? Alive? Slightly buff? No way. Danica had to drag him to Sandgem Town to see Kiran. And then he did. And he was livid. How dare he come back after so long. How dare he make Barry mourn( er, ' mourn') him?! It was a slap to the face and Barry couldn't handle it. Of course he's happy that his friend is back home. Part of him wants to hug them and never let go. But being in this sort of denial does things. He may have said some things. They're probably not talking right now. But they will, eventually. The whole situation is strange for everyone.
Above all else, the main thing that everyone wants to is what happened. Where did he go. How did they come back. And Kiran tells them .....after some recovery time. Yeah, Kiran is very much not okay after literally everything. In this instance, I'm having them remember their time in Hisui and their present life to not make things insanely angsty, but because of that, Kiran is having to accept the fact that the bonds he made back then are all dead. At most, the Hisuian forms are still alive, rare, very rare, but alive, but that doesn't exclude the fact that he saw the ancestors. He saw his ancestor. He learned that they're connected to Arceus. One time period to another, Kiran needs time to process everything ( maybe get therapy) and slowly get back into the swing of things. It's gonna hurt, but it's the only thing they can do.
Tdlr: Lots of tears. Lots of emotions. Kiran is not okay.
I hope this answers your ask well!!! Sorry if this is super long lol.
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lovee-infected · 4 years
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When will it come out where Epel cut off MC I am still waiting until this day (I'm waiting) I'm not rushing you at all but I hope you are doing well 😢 (im sad)
“Apple of my eye”
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(A/N): Sorry that it took so long! Hope you enjoy this anyway dears! ~ ♡
Ever since Epel decided to cut ties with you after learning the truth of you being a girl, his life has been nothing but an absolute nightmare. He's got his days filled with fear and his nights filled with regret, wishing there to be a way for both of you to forget. Forget all the times you made him laugh, and all the times he made you cry. He wanted there to be a way for the of you to move on with your lives as if you'd never hurt one another like now. But as it is for now, he is just one step far from being trapped inside this hell forever alone, because you're finally about to leave the twisted wonderland, forever.
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Living in Night Raven college has brought you nothing but pain since the day Epel, your trusted best friend and the guy you once loved rejected you after learning the fact that you are a girl. Each and every second spent around all your friends and people you used to admire felt like a torture. How long? For how long are you going to wait until them too throw you away like Epel did? For how much longer can you pretend to be fine until everyone left around you turn their backs on you as well? Days? Weeks? Months? Or have they already given up on you?
You can't take it, it just hurts so much. Even when there's a friend around, it feels like you're ready to break down in tears and run away again and again; just like it happened with Epel. Why does it hurt you so much though? You were supposed to be strong. You were all on your own when you first came into twisted wonderland, you thought you'd be able to handle it again on your own from now on. But uh, how wrong you were. To think that you'd be as strong as you used to now that your dearest one has left you behind...
No wonder why you immediately agreed to Headmaster Crowley's offer when he argued that he might've found a way to send you back home by passing through the black mirror under 2 conclusions : 1) You'll never be able to make a return to twisted wonderland and 2)You won't remember anyone, or anything from this world. As if it has never existed.
At this point, forgetting Epel and everything about him forever seemed to be the only way of letting go of the pain... Now that you can't have him, best would be to never remember how much you once loved.
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"(y/n)... is leaving?" Epel murmurs. Rook shakes his head as a yes, all he could do was to at least let Epel know after how things had gone between you and him lately.
Perhaps Rook was the only one who exactly knows happened that morning, the day Epel tainted each and every memory you once had beside him which you used to recall as your sweetest days of life.
Even as Rook was just sneak peaking behind the wall and all he could do was to listen to Epel shouting and you trying to calm him a bit, he's pretty certain that he heard the sound of your heart breaking the moment Epel mercilessly told you that he's cutting ties with you.
Young Epel really did have a hidden dark side all this time, didn't he...?
Lucky of him that Rook was the only one who saw that. Rook may not be that respective toward people's privacy, but he does know how to keep a friend's secret. As for now, he had to agree that your case was concerning. Not just for you but for Epel himself as well. It's pretty rare of him to feel so but he you can tell that he does care.
"In a few days or so, just enough of time for her to patch stuff up and, well, say goodbye to her friends,"
Friends, huh? To think that not so long ago Epel deserved to be reminded as your friend... How fast did it all change,right? Time is an absolutely terrifying thing, he thinks.
A moment of silence passes until Rook speaks up: "Aren't you going to say goodbye?"
'Say good bye',...This sentence keeps on being repeated inside Epel's head. Why would you even want to hear these words coming from him while Epel himself was the only reason that you have to leave? He hurt you and there was no way to undo what he did to you, even if he could one day be able to face that you, his best friend and at some point, the only friend ever since he stepped into night raven college are a girl, it was impossible to look into your eyes again like he hadn't done all the terrible works he did.
That is a fact, he can't fix a broken heart, neither his or yours. Yes, he was mad at you and is still mad. He felt so used to see that you of all people couldn't even trust him with such a simple thing like your gender. The fearful thought of you getting that close to him because he was nothing but a naïve boy who couldn't tell the difference between male and female. If so, were all the times you told Epel that you cared for him a lie? Did you just want to play him around because he was a lonely boy who didn't have any other friends to talk to? Did you too find him stupid...? Why (y/n)? Why..??
Epel bites his lower lip trying his best not to cry in front of Rook. He already cries enough every night in bed and doesn't need another audience watching him suffer.
"Epel?" Rook calls, making Epel realize that he hasn't yet answered his question.
No, he isn't going to walk up to you just to say goodbye. But if he refuses to do so, wouldn't it make that heartless "I'd rather cut ties with you" his very last sentence to you...?
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Epel rolls over and his bed again again, another sleepless night. Though something made this night worse than the previous ones, tommorow would be the day that you'll quit his world forever, and he didn't even come to say his last goodbye...
When was the last time he Epel got a proper night sleep anyway? He can't remember. He's sure been a while that he wanted to take a second in peace, either through sleeping or through reality. When he was awake, he wanted to shut his eyes on life. When he tried to sleep, it either ended with him squirming in his surprisingly 'uncomfortable' bed all the time or waking up wet in sweat from another nightmare.
The only time he actually got to sleep for a minute at least was during classes. 'Hopelessly romantic boy', his classmates teasingly called him. Telling how those who're slowly falling in love would lose the track of their lives and become a total mess like Epel was. Epel never said a word in opposition as he didn't want to end up telling them the story of him recklessly breaking your heart after all you'd done for him, yet it was already obvious that he didn't like this term being used for him at all.
Hopelessly romantic boy...huh?
His insomnia issues were no joke, he couldn't concentrate during classes at all. His vision was all blurry and his eyes felt heavily sleepy. Teachers kept on talking and talking while Epel just stared at the mess of words forming enormous sentences in the books until his eyes went shut. There were a few times that even teachers ended up having to shake him after the class to wake him up before sending him to the headmaster's office right away.
"Young Felmier, are you okay? You've been looking very, uh,you know, different lately"
Is he okay? He's been asking himself the same question for a while.
"Yes, Headmaster"
'I, am not okay.'
He hasn't been okay for a long while, at least he's well aware of it. But there's no point in letting anyone else know, right? Perhaps the only one who might've understood how horrible he is feeling right now... was you. Epel drowns in thoughts and memories are brought back to him:
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It's been months since then, but it feels like it was just a minute ago, that he had his head on your shoulder as his warm tears soaked your clothes and his warm breath brushed against your neck. It was probably one of his worse days ever. He ran off having tears in his eyes in front of enormous people, yet not a single soul cared to come after him but you. He was a total mess when you found him under the apple tree, his face was flushed and his diamond blue eyes were filled with pain and tears. You didn't even know him much but seeing him like that, in pain and tears, Epel was no more than a stranger but for some reason...it still hurt. You couldn't take it. Accepting hugs from strangers isn't really his thing, but to be comforted right as you need nothing more than an embrace to cry on, it felt...nice.
You've been always beside him from then on, he couldn't really tell why. He was neither too strong nor too smart, he wasn't any famous or rich either. He was nothing but a random country boy who got noticed by you, the mysterious student who got widely popular throughout the school because of their bravery and strength to fight against several overblots without having any magic after a rather short time.
He often felt proud of how lucky he was to have you. It wasn't just because of how famous and adored you later became, he could tell that there was something special about you from the very beginning. You probably didn't notice but when he first met you at the enterence ceremony, he didn't realize that he'd been keeping his eyes on you all the time. He didn't know why, what could the reason be? Curiosity? A childish interest? Or... something else than these?
From the day after, he couldn't take his eyes off you. It was strange, he doesn't usually get to see someone this much around, but you...you were always there. Right in front of him.
He couldn't help but to watch silently until you walked up to him and started to chat, he can't ever forget how silly his first conversation with you went. He was stressed out whether you'd realized the way he was staring at you all this time, could be that you were offended? He was honestly expecting this to be another trouble coming his way but to his surprise, it wasn't.
Though it took a rather long time for him to finally gain full trust on you, after a while spending time with you wasn't simply something he enjoyed doing. It became a part of his daily routine. No matter what, he wanted to see you, no, he needed to see you. Make sure that you're right, that everything between you is still the same, that he'd have you by his side for another the day he won't be left all alone if anything goes wrong.
You were his reason to keep his self-esteem built-up no matter how rough life could be, you were the only one who could give him a safe shoulder to cry on and and an embrace to close his eyes through and the thought of still having you was what gave him the purpose to keep on smiling through another rough day.
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Epel nails the white bedsheets as he digs his wet face harder into the pillow, trying not to scream at the pain. What has he done? Why? Why??
How could he do this to you, the person he adored and cared for the most? Yes, you lied, but so did he. He never wanted to cut ties with you. He was furious and insecure, afraid that you might've never considered him any more than an emotional fool. It scared him, he didn't want to be the idiot you'd one say leave behind without caring to let him know that you never needed him back.
He couldn't let go of you as you'd became a part of Epel himself after all this time you've been together.
He was scared of what bigger things you might've hidden from him, including your true feelings for him. What if deep inside, all you saw through him was a helpless toy to use?
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts,...they were driving him insane.
It hurt way too much to the point of thinking that he hated you. He never did, how could he? Even if he ever ends up hating everything and everyone including himself like he does now, there's no way that he'd you. You were his everything, his happiness, his hope, his wish, his angel.
'Hopelessly romantic boy'... What if his classmates were right about him though?
Oh lord, what is wrong with him? He can no longer deny the fact that he did fall in love with you while he thought it was nothing more than a simple friendship.
Only if he'd realized this sooner, only if he could've said that he loves you instead of asking you to get out of his life, only if he could've had a second chance to hug you one more time and tell you how he truly feels...
And now, it's too late to regret what he's done. You probably hate him now, and he knows that he deserves to be hated. He was the reason of your teary eyes and sleepless nights. And he and only him, was the reason of you wanting to leave all your of your friends and your memories with them behind by making a return to your own world.
As it's clear than he doesn't deserve you and your love, he decides to let his heart burn inside the flames Epel started on his own.
Let him suffer in the name of you, his one and only love, for eternity.
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It's past noon yet Epel doesn't want to get out of bed. He doesn't want to look at the clock, though he's pretty sure that you've already left his world.
He wonders...where are you right now? Back to your own world? Next to the friends and family whom you love? You sure don't remember him anymore but...are you happy? Will you now live as the happy (y/n) he'll always love without him there to hurt you again?
"Sorry (y/n), sorry..." He whispers underneath his breath. Hot tears stream down Epel's face, and he squeezes his eyelids shut in the hope his tears would stop. He sat on his bed unmoving, with his choppy breathing and watery eyes remaining for quite a while. He was so lost through his pain and sorrow that didn't hear the knock on his door at first.
"Who there?-" Epel murmurs through his tear. It's probably Rook, wanting to see why he didn't make it to school today. His door continues to be knocked on, yet Epel doesn't care to answer thr sound. Doesn't matter who the hell is at the door, he doesn't want to talk right now.
He hides his face under the blanket, can't he just cry in peace? He hears the sound of his door sliding open, but doesn't bother getting the blanket off his head. He annoyedly wraps himself tighter in bed. 'Whoever you are, just leave me alone. Please, I don't want to-'
Takes a few seconds until he feels the blanket being pulled off him, he vaguely turns his head, ready to shout: "GET LOST" at whoever his interrupter is. He opens his mouth to yell but the sight of the person standing in front of him leaves him speechless.
Your bodies remain still as your eyes are locked, neither of you move a finger until you break the silence:
"Epel..." you whisper. He looks pretty different from the last time you saw him. His face looks much paler and thinner now, and from the swelling bags under his eyes you could tell that he hasn't really been sleeping well lately. The the rage and hatred you saw last time in his eyes is now replaced with emptiness and sorrow, a severe pain that makes your heart ache for him one more time. He looks so, so broken. So lost, so sad. It hurts a lot seeing him like this, though you'd sworn never to think of him the way you used to again.
"I, I came to say goodbye-" you say nervously. What is Epel having in mind now? How is he going to respond? From the way your last conversation went you could certainly tell that he held nothing else than for you now, but you, could you be the same?
Epel didn't show up to say goodbye which was another evidence of him not wanting to see your face ever again, but something deep inside your heart, something you couldn't let go of ever after he let you down told you to come to say your very last goodbye.
Epel's eyes widen in fascination. This time, he can't hold back his tears from falling. You won't stop surprising him until the very last second, will you?
Right at the moment you are expecting him to be mad and push you back again, he throws himself into your embrace. You are about to say a word, but all you can do is to let Epel feel your warm embrace and the torrent of his tears soak through your shirt. It is too painful to see him like this.
"Wh-why...Why-are you like this-? Why did you come? Why are you still being this kind?? Why can't you just hate me!?" he painfully screams through his tears. You can feel him clench his fists, as he pushes himself closer to you. You have your emotions mixed up, you can't tell wether you should be sad or happy. But here he is, crying into your embrace like he used to do before. For a second it feels like your paths had never been torn apart, that you never got separated and he never said those words which hurt you the most.
You let him rest his head on your shoulder and run your fingers through his hair, time and time again, in an attempt you calm the silent war within his mind.
For the hundredth time, you are reminded of how much he meant to you, from the very moment you were interested in getting to know about the pale lavender-haired guy who's been secretly watching you all the time.
You remember all the times he made you laugh and that sweet smile he always put on when he greeted you in the morning, you remember each and every time that he needed your embrace to either cry or feel a bit better after the hard they he might've gone through.
You remember all the times you silently cried in bed knowing that you were slowly falling for the young boy who you genuinely held dear, that he was slowly becoming the apple of your eye.
And there he was, walking in front of you, unaware of the feelings you, young (y/n) had for him and how he was truly, the one and only for you, the apple of your eye.
Before you know it, Epel is no longer the only one crying. You hold him tighter, pushing your head to his shoulder and letting your hot tears fall off your eyes, realizing how much you've missed him after all this time. Epel doesn't pull back, instead he follows and allows your bodies to come closer and closer, until there's no space left. At the moment your bodies are close enough to become one, he's got the rhythm of your chest raising and on his body and you've got his on yours. Warm breaths brushing against each other's face that it makes it almost hard to breathe.
For a second, it feels as if you and him are the only beings on the whole world and your world is skipped inside the warmth you're drowning through right now. There's no past, no future, no pain, no feelings at all. All you know is the present you're having with him, wishing that this moment would last forever.
"I...I love you," Epel whispers, only loud enough for you to hear him under your fascinated gaze. You let out silent gasp as your head's still on the back of his shoulder.
'What did he just say..?'
Those words...those 3 forbidden words you thought you'd never him Epel them back if you ever did. Yet you kept on loving him, totally aware that he might never develop such feelings for you back.
You were supposed to make a return to your own world by now, all you'd came for was a simple goodbye to someone you were supposed to consider your ex-best friend, but you know that it would be a lie. He wasn't just your best friend, he was once your everything: Your love, your smile, your tears, your hope. Even after he bitterly told you to cut ties with him, you couldn't let go of the feeling. You felt empty without him, a life without him was clueless and dark, you felt so lost, so empty, so brokenhearted. You'd lost Epel, and never thought that you'll ever get to have him close again, let alone hearing him say that he loves you back.
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And now, it's all up to you. What are you going to do now? For the first time in a while, your future now relies on nothing but your very own choice. You're caught in the middle of the path, stuck between leaving the twisted wonderland for your very own sake or staying here with Epel, in a stranger world which you don't belong to, next to the guy you once appreciated the most.
With everything you've been going through all this time, what will you choose to do? How will this story come to an end? Choosing to go and leave all the pain together with all the happiness you've been experiencing next Epel all this time behind, or letting go of the past and giving him a second to maybe lead you through a life you once dreamed to have with him?
Epel has probably got a lot more to say other than that three words, knowing that you're probably running out of time if you're going to return to your own world, next to the family and beloved ones you haven't met in forever, are you still going to stay here with Epel and allow him to talk? With all the things that he did to you and made you have a severe mental breakdown afterwards, are you still to give him your attention and love, and let him have a chance to be the apple of your eye again...?
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echo-three-one · 3 years
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Whatever It Takes
While Soap, France and the two hostages try to recover, Gary stands by for action. It's a waiting game before they make their next move. Can Gary's lungs handle the training?
Previous Chapter : Reunited
Chapter 6 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️
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A Walk to Remember
Gary "Roach" Sanderson
Task Force 141
Task Force 141 - Briefing Room
Gary was able to share his raccoon story, but he wasn't contented. He actually wanted a certain someone to listen to it. He wanted to see her smile. He knew their time together was short but he grew curious about the blonde girl. He felt concern, almost guilty that he triggered her massive headache. He wanted to apologize, but since then she's still unconscious. Guess he'll have to wait.
"The concern is that Augustus' squad had been forcibly and convincingly recruiting troops from a local border militia and informants reported that they have siezed their small village camp." The caterpillar-moustached general briefed, gaining murmurs from the rest of the squad.
"We'll be sending Alex tomorrow to negotiate with the squad and if he's successful. We could formally assist them and take back their base, crippling Augustus forces. Gathering intel on the village is a bonus." he added, making everyone else nod. Gary looked determined to help out, and for now all he could to is to train more and have faith in Alex's skills.
"That's odd." Ghost nudged from beside him.
"Yeah?" he replied quickly.
"I know that face… Something's bothering the bug. Come on. Spill." he whispered. Ghost may look cold and distant at one glance but he tries hard to show concern, especially for Roach, who has been there to absorb his problems ever since they met.
"It's the mission." Gary lied and he was not convincing at that.
"Sod off mate. I can tell you're lying. Is it the girl? It's always about the girl." he teased. Gary found himself speechless as he puffed his cheeks.
"Yeah. We'll you're bothered about France too. And threatened about how close they are with Soap." he whispered, Ghost fell silent and stopped bugging him. Gary wanted to quickly apologize for hitting a nerve, but he turned his focus to Shepherd.
"That's about all of it for today. I want all available squad members at the training areas now. We're not going to let that same blunder happen again." he scolded as everyone silently left. Ghost walked behind Gary, his quiet demeanor was normal but somewhat odd.
"You think she's interested in him? They used to fight a lot." he muttered and Gary turned to him.
"Look mate, I have no idea what's going on around them. They just met, and I'm no love doctor but if you're really into her then take small steps. Get to know her, talk to her, those kind of things. Then you'll finally get the answer you're looking for." Roach advised and Ghost actually showed agreement by nodding as they continue to the training room.
Task Force 141 - Jogging Oval
THE NEXT DAY
It's the fourth time that Roach lost to Ghost on a one lap sprint. A sign that he still has a lot of lung endurance exercises to do and he's still a long way to go to master holding a sniper rifle. He looked down, hands on his knees and sweat dropped from his forehead as he panted heavily.
"Roach! You okay?" a familiar scottish voice called from nearby. He looked and saw Samantha, Maxine, France and Soap together early in the morning. Samantha was pushing Maxine's wheelchair while France pushed Soap's. It looked like he still can't get up properly yet and might not make it on the next mission. His eyes now turned to Maxine who was looking at Samantha, laughing at something. Her smile brought happiness to Roach's face and he felt like he could run another lap.
"I'm fine." Gary replied with a thumbs up, jogging toward them, taking France's spot.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Oh. Nowhere. The nurse said we could use a little sunshine." Soap replied and the rest of them nodded. Maxine turned to Gary and smiled.
"You. You helped me back there. Eased the pain from the sprain. What's your name?" she asked. Gary took the time to let her voice fill his mind.
"Gary." he replied.
"Thank you Gary." she smiled and turned back to Samantha, resuming their conversation. France quickly nudged him to which he winced in pain.
"Whatever you're thinking, it goes through me first. I'm her sister after all." she warned, Gary pretended to look confused but there was no use hiding to a woman. They could sense intentions a mile away. 
"Does she um… remember you?" Gary asked. France's face shifted from threatening to sad.
"Not really." She sighed. "But she will recover and recognize me someday." 
"What happened to his leg? Hey hey Is that Alex?! Samantha it's Alex! Heyyy Pretty boy! Over here!" Maxine excitedly called him. He was walking to the hangar with his backpack and gym bag, looking focused. Everyone else were confused as to how Maxine knew Alex and Gary started to feel odd about it.
"Hey… um… you." Alex greeted awkwardly, smiling at the group.
"Alex. This is Samantha over here. I remember you looking for him at the bar. You know, a childhood friend you want to reconnect with?" She excitedly winked as he looked at Samantha. Gary could sense a little something going on between the two.
"Max, I don't know no Alex from my childhood…" Samantha muttered and Maxine frowned. This wasn't the kind of reunion she expected. It was a shame that that was the last thing she could remember.
"Yeah. I think you may have mistaken me or something. But I did look for her, returned a pendant she dropped back then." Alex replied and ran back to the airstrip.
"I swear I remember him correctly. I know full well which memories hurt me." Maxine whispered to herself as Samantha rubbed her back.
"He does look familiar. But then again I saw him back then and mistook him as a stalker. I mean, look at those tattooes. Turns out he's just there to return my pendant. It's a huge coincidence he works here though. Like one in a million." she mused as they quietly watched him walk away.
Gary started pushing Soap and the rest followed. He was happy Maxine's all peppy and well, but he can't help but feel jealous about the way she reacted upon seeing Alex. He wished she'd do the same for him. But who was he for her? Nothing but a random stranger.
"Huh?" Maxine asked and Samantha just nodded, making her quiet and realize things. Soap looked at Roach and they just exchanged weird glances and shrugged. Mentally noting that they'll have to talk to Alex about this after the mission.
~
"So, any new news?" Ghost stood by Gary as he gulped down a bottle of water.
"Not really. Except from the fact that Maxine claims to know Alex and Samantha knows Alex. And also Maxine is Francine's sister?!" Gary exhaled leaving Ghost in a momentary confusion.
"Wai.wai wait.. For real?!" he asked. Gary downed another bottle and nodded.
"Yeah. When briefing told us Alex was somehow connected, he was actually all over the place. I want answers from him." 
"Yeah. So where is he?" 
"He's already on his way back to Germany. Let's hope he convinces a whole army to help us out." Gary wondered as Ghost nudged him back to the gym. 
"Let's train that lungs of yours again."
All Gary could do was groan in  frustration as he followed Ghost to the gym.
"Man, Nero's a mysterious guy huh. Did you know Alex helped catch the CIA Mole he's working with. The one that supplied him the serum that's behind all of this." Gary overheard two random soldiers at the gym discuss. He couldn't help but stop whatever he was doing and asked them for more details.
"They already publicized the report on the website. They're actually desperate for any Nero-like activity to report to them immediately." one of them informed, Gary turned to Ghost and they both nodded, quickly running to the Base's library.
"Here it is. Alex's report." Gary muttered as Ghost peeked beside him, they slowly scrolled across pages of information written by Alex himself. He didn't hide anything from them, except from thr fact that they're after her because she had memories of an IP Address. Then further through the report they concluded that they weren't successful in extracting it. Then at the end of the file was a footnote, regarding Samantha's state. It read:
Due to a special favor promised by Samantha's father, he has authorize to apply an MK Ultra procedure to her, whose main intention is to Alter her memories of the IP Address along with the events that happened prior to kidnapping.
"So that's why she didn't know Alex." Gary realized.
"Hence the responses earlier." Ghost added.
"Maxine wasn't mentioned in this footnote this means her memories weren't rewritten." Gary spleculated. Ghost scratched his head in confusion.
"This whole thing is nuts." Was all Ghost could say.
Task Force 141 - Quarters
2000H
"Same routine tommorow, okay?" Ghost grinned and it made Gary groan.
"Fine. My lungs are going to hate you for eternity, Simon." he complained and the trainer just chuckled.
"We didn't have the chance to talk to Soap today. He surely has a lot of new information about the two." 
"Nah. More like more information on France." Ghost retorted fake chuckling.
"If he's ever in the competition, I can judge that he's one step ahead." Gary remarked, attempting to tease Ghost who was already leaning away from him.
"Rest up, Bug. Another big day tomorrow." he muttered, almost angry.
"Yeah. Big day."
Next Chapter : Just Like Old Times
tagging the notification squad
@enderio
@samatedeansbroccoli
@whimsywispsblog
@smokeywhalee
@beemybee
@ricinbach
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cottoncandyjester · 3 years
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Decided to write a story on one of the songs in hikaru's character playlist...yes I have playlists of all my characters with songs that relate to them
This story is inspired by: lemons by brye
Hikaru is the type to claim they hate their darling instead of love, isn't that fun?
This contains: abuse, male reader( well not really but they act very masculine), relationship becoming a toxic relationship
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Hikaru panted heavily as he stood over you his eyes filled with anger and rage as he stared at your beaten form under him. He was just upset and took it all on you when you refused one of his demands, like always. Filthy insults escaped his lips as he could only see red, he just wanted to sleep woth you amd you refused..so he figured he can beat you into submission to get what he wanted.
"are you done with your tantrum?" Your cold tone made him shudder as you locked eyes at him slowly sitting up feeling blood drip down your face. "You're like...a child. When you can't get what you want you make others suffer, I'm tired of it hikaru" as you staggered up you hovered up staring down at him watching his face twist into a docile confusion before it shifted into anger.
"who do you think you a-" you cut him off by shoving him down onto the ground now cracking your knuckles lightly. Hikaru looked up at you his back pressed against the wall, the sight was pretty pathetic. You kneeled down to his level your eyes blank and cold and you grabbed him by his shirt roughly.
"Tell me. Use your damn words and tell me what you're feeling, or I swear to God I'll-"
"I hate you y/n, I hate how you make me feel..how you make me feel so damn small. It's like you're rubbing it in my face" hikaru spoke in a tone with brimming anger as he glared at you hot angry tears in his eyes. "I fucking get it okay! You are so damn better than me and I don't fucking deserve you! God I hate you! I hate you I hate you! Why do you not care about anything I say! Why do I have to try so hard to feel equal to you?! I'm better than you! I should be better than you!" Hikaru let out a shaky huff after he snapped his words out and the room was covered with silence.
"you really are like a child, damn. You can't handle the thought of not being some damn god to people" You let him go only to punch him in the face. "That was for the tantrum I had to deal with. Now get up" you mumbled out and turned away from the male
"y/n that fucking hurt! What the hell! How dare you bruise me I have a photoshoot tommorow!" Hikaru yelling reminded you of a yapping dog. "Shut up or I'll kick your ass, I'm done being your punching bag." You scoffed out as you glanced back at the male who was unsure how to react, no one has ever talked back to him. You usually just let him do whatever he wanted to you, but this was different for sure. Hikaru got up running his bruised cheek with an annoyed huff.
"fuck you y/n"
"fuck you too hikaru now come on we are both covered in mostly my blood let's take a bath.." you stated as you looked over at hikaru who was cursing under his breath.
The truth was that you loved the hell out of him, more than he knew but you were done being his doormat so you were gonna fight back..after all if he thinks he can hit you then you should be able to do it back.
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sapphosvioletts · 3 years
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Oh, well I’m not exactly sure of my time zone tbh? I’m in England if that helps though? The good ol British timezone although I’m positive that is not what it is called 😂
But yeah, that means for me it’s currently 19:10, so my day is more or less over. I haven’t really done anything today because I’ve been home alone all day and it’s currently the six week holidays for me, so I’ve just been chilling.
I mean, I’ve done my chores and a few other things like hoovering and mopping up downstairs - which is not easy with a dog who molts like there’s no tommorow - but aside from that I’ve just been playing on my 3DS with YouTube on the background ((which sounds incredibly geeky and I can assure you: it has been :) )).
Also, if you don’t mind me asking, I’ve heard you mention that your a dancer a couple times now, but what’s that actually like? Sorry if that isn’t the most easy to ask- but like what do you have to do and stuff?
- 🦋
from now on i will be referring to it at the good old british time zone lmaooo
omg you did chores? that doesn't sound like a huge deal but more than i usually have the energy to do on weekdays so proud of you for that!!
AND OH MY GOD DOG WHAT KIND OF DOG??
and ooohh what do you play on it?? i've never had one before! i don't even know how it works or what you can do on it really lol
and okay so i'm gonna try and not make this really long but idk how to explain it without it being long lmaooo
but uhhh no it is not like the show dance moms (it's really popular here in the us i'm not sure about england tho lol but the amount of times i get asked that lmao) but yeah sometimes it can definitelyyyy be a lot to handle. i've been dancing since i was 2 and i started comp at 8 (for a year or two i didn't do comp while moving studios but besides that i've been on comp since) especially because i've always been the youngest on my teams, so i feel like i've always had a lot of pressure put on me. i just made elite co and im one of the youngest still, so the pressure is still kinda there a bit lol
but thankfully my studio is amazing. it's such an accepting place and all of the girls on my team are all just so kind. this season it's a bit different because a lot of the girls we've had for a while are gone now because they graduated, but it's still great although a little sad to be without those girls lol but everyone really is just so kind there's no fighting or drama or anything. even if we aren't all necessarily super close or best friends, there's no drama or anything like that. uhh the younger teams are still working on the drama part but they're like middle school age what do u expect lmaooo
but even though it is a good environment, it still can be pretty tough. especially being autistic, it can be a lotttt at times. my body just can't really do as much as neurtotypicals, so every once in a while i get a burnout because i have to push my body so much. and also i have chronic asthma so while i can keep up, i need more time to recover than the other girls
and also uhhh no one knows i'm autistic there so that's pretty difficult lol it's exhausting for everyone, but i feel like because no one knows besides my best friend who dances with me, i get pushed and pushed maybe even too far sometimes, and it's just something i've learnt how to deal with my whole life in dance as sad as that sounds
but as for what i have to do, i do ballet, pointe, contemporary, jazz, lyrical, modern, musical theater, and unfortunately hip hop lol at competitions we usually do around 4-6 group dances, and then solos and whatever. this season im doing a solo and a duo with my best friend, which i am soo excited for. we have around 5-6 regular competitions every season, one regional, and then one and sometimes two nationals (it depends cause sometimes we do one national here and then go out of state for another one) and then we have showcase at the end of the year. there's usually two shows and it depends but like last year i had 18 dances per show, but it could be more or less it just depends on the classes and teachers you have
so yeah it can be a lot, there's a lot of meltdowns and shutdowns once i get home and the amount of sensory overloads oh my godddd, but for some reason i do love it and i keep doing it. i've definitely questioned why i keep putting myself through this, like my body has been probably permanently fucked up from it and im not even an adult yet. like my patella's are out of alignement, i have back issues off and on, i had bone bruises at one point which were painful as fuck and my legs still haven't recovered from those they're still kinda painful in some spots, and yeah i'm not even an adult yet and my body is screwed up. but for some reason i do love dance, and i've been doing it my whole life so i honestly just can't imagine my life without it.
i know it does sound kindaaaa miserable and yeah it kind of is, but it's not all bad and there are bad moments, but there's also those really really really good moments that remind me why i still do this. so yeah sorry that was a long ass explanation, i feel like it's really hard to explain all of it. especially being disabled it's definitely a different experience than NT dancers, but i tried to explain it the best i could lol
if you have any like specific questions you have you can def ask! cause i'm not sure how well i answered this shdjdk
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Little Question Asks
Thank you @foxxysierra and @curvycandyyy for the asks.. I'm a lazy fucker today, so since some of these are multiple I'm gonna answer with 1 ask.😅😁🤷 love y'all 💋
So here we go....
9. Favorite little space song:
"Tommorow" from the movie Annie..
10.Favorite holiday:
Halloween
11. Perfect little Date:
🤔 that's a tough one, but I'll say either a trip to the park, or "Build a Bear" 🐻😁
12. Favorite type of food:
I like Mexican food but my favorite food in general, is pizza 🍕of course. Nom Nom Nom😋
13. Favorite Little space place: 🤔Well.....middle me likes the mall👟👗🤷 and little me likes amusement parks.🎢🎡🤗
14. Any hobbies?
Little me likes to sing and color.
15. Do you work?
Yes I do.😊
16. Are you a student?
No.
17.Favorite littlle accessories:
My princess crown and my blue fairy wings.
18. What triggers your little space?
Being call cute pet names/Nick names...being talked to like a baby and being told what to do/not do.
19. Favorite board game or card game:
Go fish and Candyland
20. Ideal caregiver:
Not everyone is capable of handling a little...so IMO, the ideal caregiver is one who can put up with the mood swings, who can tell when you're mad or sad..One who can embrace the baby talk and silliness and one who has a big sense of humor..Also must love cuddles.
21. Do you get bedtime stories?
This is not something that I have done before, but I definitely love the idea for sure!😊♥️
29. Best memory in little space?
It was the very 1st time I ever went into little space..It felt like I was on cloud nine, and not a care in the world, just a happy giddy lil baby. It was a very euphoric experience.🤗🦄
40. Do you use diapers, bottles, pacis, or sippy cups?
I DO NOT use diapers or bottles, but I DO use pacis and sippy cups.
Thank you again ladies for wanting to know what makes little me tick. ♥️🤗💋😍
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justsomegruviastuff · 5 years
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The saddest moments in fairytail
This is part two , the first one I did was for the most badass moments 😏 this is my favorite category so I'll be commenting a little in each moment . Next one I'll be doing tommorow is the funniest moments 😊. Theres only 3 days till the last episode of fairytail so pack your tissues 😭🌹
1. Igneel's death
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Ahh what do I have to say for this? It's obviously first , I cried at least 3 hours when I first saw it ! I think the reason it hit me that hard is because Natsu is always so happy , cheerful, silly and goofy, to see him this sad is so upsetting ( I want my bean to be happy 😥) I also really loved igneel, he was such a good father to Natsu and we dont really get to see too many good parents in fairytail . The fact that he sacrificed himself for Natsu and everyone else to be safe kills me ! Also I'm convinced that Mashima is trying to kill us , I meannnn he always puts these flashbacks after a sad moment that make the moment 103722891 times sadder 😭 I had forgotten how to breath at this point !
2. Aquarius key breaks
Disiwebsiowe9rjsbai wellll........ I think I caused a flood with my tears here. I loveee aquarius character , the reason I cried this much here is similar to when igneel died . Aquarius is always so strong and tough and strict , to see her like that finally showing affection towards Lucy literally murdered me 😭 And of course after that Mashima hAd to put flashbacks ! Those little Lucy moments ahhhhhhh , lucy saying aquarius is her only friend audjwos7wqqj 😥 I'm buried six feet under at this point 😞
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3. Zera disappears
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These moments make me love fairytail even more if possible! Zeras and Mavis friendship is one of my favorites it's so cuteee. I wrote a 7 sheets long essay for this so its obvious I really loved it ! Zera belongs inside Mavis heart and I'm glad that she is back there but that moment really hurt 😥
4. Silver dies
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You're damn right he's become a good man , he is a great man , a wonderful being that deserves happiness! My poor baby Grayyyyyy. Ahhhhh seing him sad is the worst thing in the world cause hes been though so much already he deserves to be happy mAsHiMa! Give him his dad back or I'm going to scream bloody murder ! Why does every good parent have to die im frustrated (let's pray for Guildarts) also Juvia being related with this kills me even more. She felt like she didnt have the right to love him because she killed Keyes iM- and Gray thanked her for freeing him iM- gIvE mY bAbIEs a bReAk!
5. Juvia almost dies
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You dont know how happy I am about that almost! Their my favorite ship in the history of ships . They deserve the world they've been through so much shit already pleaseee let them be happy already . I want cute dates and kisses and cuddles not deaths and cries and more tears ! My baby Gray has lost so much people he loved he couldn't handle to loose the love of his life , I'm soooo glad she is not dead ! " I promise I'll be more serious about you " siwoaode89 yes please be more serious please make babies!
6. Makarov almost dies
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What did I say about good parents ? Yeah well ... leave them alone ! Erzas cry and flashbacks were just .. idk what to say ... Erza is my favorite female character and I love her so much , makarov was her father and she almost lost him . This moment was just so heartbreaking with Laxus and Mavis and Erzas reactions . Fairytail is truly beautiful
7. Jellal gets arrested
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Give Erza a break please . I was cursing so bad at the magic council here! I loveee jellal and he definitely did not deserve this at all . " It was the color of you're hair " is my favorite line in the whole show , I literally have it on my wall ! I hope they get to be toghether in the end cause they definitely deserve it. Someone has to convince my baby Jellal that he is a gem and he deserves Erza !
The end
Grrr I hate that picture limitation i wanted to put more moments here like future Lucy's death , Cate skelter disbanding , lisanna returning blah blah blah 😑 but anyway these are my top favorites I hope you enjoyed 😊
( tell me if you like these kind of posts , there will be 2-3 more till the last episode of fairytail and then I'll continue my usual fanfics and drawings but if you like them I'd love to post some of these when I cant post the other things 🌹)
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nusitram · 6 years
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I'm starting uni tommorow and I'm so nervous do you have any tips. I love your art so much
hello dear anon! i do have a few tips for you:- don’t be scared to talk to people. that’s always been the hardest thing for me because of my terrible social anxiety but i picked up a lot of courage and i started having conversation with the people sitting next to me in class or in the study room and it wasn’t so bad after all! everyone is as scared as you are, for most of them it’ll be the very first time at uni as well so you’re all on the same page! - if your professor allows it, record the lesson so you can listen to it again and fill in the gaps on your notes.- it’s so much better to have a small device (ipad, laptop) you can type your notes in. paper sheets get lost and are so messy!- find your own balance between classes, try and take early morning ones and see if you can handle the rest of the day better or if you’re one of those people who prefer late night classes.that’s pretty much all i have because i don’t really know how other universities work so i’m not sure many of the things i do could apply to you.but hey, it’s going to be okay! i believe in you! good luck! 💓
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