#Jason hasn’t even revealed himself and is already down to cause problems (he was finishing highschool & trainin)

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 308

Honestly, Damian is so disappointed in his father right now. And his so-called siblings. The friends allies he had made over the years and he had been swapping multiple times, and still they hadn’t realized. Danyal was as pale as a corpse, closer to Drake for Pit’s sake! Jordan had red eyes! Elena was a girl! Respawn had white hair! Surely someone noticed- thank fuck, hello Todd, no he’s not on patrol, listen, listen, he needs you to know that Father? Blind. An idiot! The others more so! Yes yes, they’ve been doing their single-person trick, but surely someone should have caught on yes? And they haven’t- Oh? What a wonderful idea Akhi, he shall inform the others of this idea, the Lazarus waters do make dna testing quite hard to do. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Fake Quintuplets Au #Prompts #Danny Ellie & Dan all came through the Pits after [Bad Thing Happens] & were Damian’s sparring buddies #They might have broken Respawn out too #Why yes they’re all physically 10 years old #Let Jason & Damian be Brothers #Jason hasn’t even revealed himself and is already down to cause problems (he was finishing highschool & trainin) #Talia isn’t a good mom as she’s in a literal cult but she’s trying her best #Damian: Ah yes my four siblings who are my siblings #They’re going to be such little shits about it too #”We have been swapping out for Years and you never noticed how blind” #Pointing at Red Hood: Akhi knew who each of us were immediately #Talia lets the five of them pull this trick so often & actively encourages it because it’s like training for both them & others #They claim Respawn got white hair from Talia's side- which might actually be true I mean Dusan naturally has it too so #Damian calls Jason Akh when he wants to butter him up & Jason knows it

[hotchley]

strawberry cheesecake

BAM! IT’S HERE!!! BEFORE MIDNIGHT AS WELL!! It was 23:14 when I hit publish on ao3 and I really do need to go to sleep, but it’s here, with some level of accuracy because I googled what happened when someone has an allergic reaction.

Finally, I, the pioneer of Aaron Hotchner’s strawberry allergy, has written the fic where he eats strawberry cheesecake at an FBI function and has a reaction. It got unexpectedly dark, but we’re going with it.

As usual, I have not proofread it, and I kinda need you to suspend all belief about how the FBI works/is run because the function kinda doesn’t make much sense and yeah... you’ll see what I mean when you read... I’m really hoping this doesn’t suck because you guys actually looked forward to it??

Trigger/Content Warnings; food, referenced child death (most recent case), alcohol consumption, anaphylactic shock/allergic reactions, child abuse, hospitals and I think that’s everything

Word Count: 7669 (it got really out of hand...)

read on ao3!

If there was one thing David Rossi hated more than local press giving unsubs ridiculous names because they believed it would make a good headline, it would be FBI functions. And not just any type of FBI function. The FBI function where the Behavioural Analysis Unit- which nobody had believed in- would be mentioned so frequently that it felt like they were on a case.

It was just his luck that one was being held on the same day that he was supposed to be going to the ballet with one of the lovely women that worked in the White-Collar unit. Because despite the rumours that went flying around about him and his dating habits, he was not going to take advantage of his position and make rookies or anyone else uncomfortable. The woman he was supposed to be meeting had approached him and asked if he’d liked to go.

Hotchner had been watching him, looking slightly scandalised as she had placed her hand on his tie, and so Rossi had said yes. He’d even leant in slightly and asked if she would have a problem with him giving her a kiss on the cheek. When she said that she wouldn't, and would actually quite like that, he did and Hotchner had fallen off his chair.

Rossi had smirked, the lady had laughed and Hotchner had hit his head trying to get back up, gone an even brighter red and made something up about dropping his pen and needing to grab it. Rossi’s date had snickered, whilst Rossi had just raised an eyebrow.

Hotchner had excused himself to the bathroom.

As he ran out of their area, closely followed by Anya- she’d slipped Rossi a piece of paper with her name and number, Erin Strauss had walked in, holding two envelopes.

Rossi didn’t need to be a profiler to know what was in there.

“No,” was the first thing he said.

“David,” Strauss warned.

“Erin,” he mocked.

Strauss sighed. “Look, I know you hate these things, but the entire bureau is founded on politics and people-pleasing. If you come to this, then there may be less questions about what exactly it is you do all day, apart from ogling the other agents.”

“I do not ogle. And I guess it’s too much to hope that the other invitation is for Anya, isn’t it?”

Strauss nodded. “It’s for Aaron. Do try and get him to come, it’ll give us all something pleasant to look at whilst we slowly die inside.”

Dave stared at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m not saying that I want to ruin his marriage or sleep with him, I’m just saying he’s objectively attractive. And I don’t know why you look so surprised, Jason told me about the women that flirt with him. And that you started calling him pretty boy, which hasn’t exactly gone unnoticed.”

“Right.”

“Just make an effort to actually attend. And please get Agent Hotchner there too,” she said.

Dave just nodded.

Aaron had returned from the bathroom.

“Agent Hotchner. I hope Dave hasn’t been making you feel too awkward with all of his comments,” she said. It was clear that she was just trying to see whether any had been made.

Aaron’s cheeks flushed again. “Not at all ma’am,” he said, holding the door open for her. She nodded and left, but not before turning to Dave one last time as she gave him an extremely pointed glare. He made a face at her, which caused her to laugh.

When Hotch had sat back down again, Dave finally acknowledged him.

“That trip to the bathroom seemed rather urgent,” he joked.

“I- well, so,” Hotch stuttered.

Dave shook his head. “It’s fine. And it doesn’t look like that date will be happening anyways, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Wait why won’t it be happening? You both seemed… excited at the prospect of going.”

In response, Dave threw the second envelope at his head. Aaron’s reflexes weren’t fast enough, so it just bounced off and landed on the floor. As he bent down to pick it up, Dave began to understand why Erin and the other agents thought of him as being something pleasant to look at. As in, Aaron had pretty eyes. And his hair was constantly falling in his face, which was endearing.

“That envelope is why it won’t be happening.”

Aaron stared at him and then opened it. “Oh.” He seemed even less enthusiastic than Dave did about attending. 

“I thought you would have been thrilled at the thought of going. It’ll be like all those balls you went to when you were just a young boy growing up in the good old South Virginia," Dave said. He knew he was toeing the line.

Aaron's silence about his childhood revealed more than his words ever could.

"First of all, I didn't attend balls when I was a young boy. The only dance I ever went to was my prom, and that was only because Haley basically forced me to go. And South Virginia isn't that good, that's just a stereotype that people have because people live in fancy houses with white picket fences," Aaron snapped. It was uncharacteristically sharp.

"Sorry," Dave said. And he meant it.

Aaron's eyes widened. "Sir, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you. You've not done anything wrong. I just-"

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it? There's no pressure, it's just if you wanted to. That seemed like quite an extreme reaction to something so trivial." Why was he so bad at this? He could charm any woman he wanted, yet the moment he tried to speak to Hotchner about anything other than work and Haley, he sounded like an idiot.

"I left prosecution because it was always more about politics than actually helping people get justice for the terrible things that had happened to them. And now it just feels like nothing has changed and time that could be spent stopping someone from destroying lives is just going to go on people-pleasing," Aaron confessed. He wouldn't meet Dave's eyes.

Dave wanted to pull him in for a hug, but he knew it would most likely not be well received. He also knew that wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't his place to push. Aaron felt things, more deeply than the rest of them, but he would never admit to anyone that there were certain cases that got under his skin.

Like the one they had just finished. A child wasn't going to be coming home, but the look on the mother's face when they informed her was not one of sorrow. It was one of relief. Aaron had asked to stay behind to speak to her for just one more moment. And when he returned, there was an anger written in the clench of his jaw that Dave had never seen before.

Jason had told everyone to give the kid space. Against his gut instinct, Dave had listened to him. Which he now very much regretted.

"Kid. We all have limits. Nobody can spend every hour of every day hunting down these guys. At the end of the day, we're all just human. I won't lie to you, it will be a lot of people-pleasing. However, it will also- if you let it- be a bit of fun. You're a good agent Hotchner. And an even better person. Let yourself breathe for once."

Aaron looked down. "Thanks Dave."

Dave just shrugged. It was only when Aaron left the room again did he let himself groan. Now he was going to have to pretend to enjoy himself at the function or else Hotchner would just be upset because of his ruined date.

Depending on how you looked at it, the members of the BAU were either lucky or unlucky when no cases turned up the morning of the event. Dave had been watching the fax machine intently, and Max had been looking through a suspicious number of case files the entire day. But in the end, there was nothing.

Which was how Dave found himself standing around, sipping a glass of champagne he thought tasted horrible, talking to strangers he couldn't care less about and silent seething at Hotch. He wasn't there yet, despite phoning Dave to say he would be there in half an hour about forty five minutes ago. 

The only reason he'd bothered to attend and not faked some form of emergency that would let him go on his date with Anya was because he wanted Hotch to have someone to keep him company and make him laugh as he suffered through conversations about being an ex-prosecutor and the change to the FBI.

He was looking round for a waiter so he could take yet another glass when Aaron appeared in the doorway, fiddling with his cuff links. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his hair was more ruffled than usual. As he entered, awkwardly greeting people and tripping over his own feet, Dave rolled his eyes.

How the kid had managed to pass all of his assessments and be the best shot in the entire building was still completely beyond him.

"Hi," Aaron greeted, a dopey grin on his face.

"It's lovely of you to join us," Dave remarked. He just couldn't help it. When Aaron's face fell slightly, he regretted it. He kept forgetting that Aaron took the things people said a bit too literally sometimes. Especially if it came from someone he looked up to.

"I'm sorry about your date being ruined," Hotch said. He was looking around at all the other people in their perfectly tailored suits and beautiful dresses. It made him- with his slightly too big shirt and undone bow tie- look even younger than he already was.

"Well barring any disasters, this should be over in time for me to make it. Anya said she could wait."

There was a slight silence, broken only by Dave rejecting what would have been his third glass of champagne and Aaron quickly accepting it. And then it became too much for him to bear.

"Kid, why is your tie undone?"

Hotch's eyes widened like he had only just realised. Rossi wouldn't have been surprised if that was true. For someone that was a profiler, he was quite oblivious sometimes. Not realising that if you took your vest off and then someone shot at you, you would suffer more than a few bruises, forgetting that his shirt collar wouldn't cover his entire neck, the list went on.

But this was something entirely different. Aaron Hotchner's tie was never undone.

Rossi raised an eyebrow when an entire minute passed without him explaining himself and the colour rose to his cheeks.

"Well, it took me a really long time to do it the first time and then Haley came into our room to grab her bag. And then she really likes it when I get all dressed up because I normally hate doing it- I mean I always hate it- so then she, you know and then I thought I had tied it properly but clearly I hadn't."

Rossi had never heard so many words spoken in a single breath. He did however, understand what the kid was trying to say. "Well at least one of us got to have some fun tonight," he joked.

"Is that why everyone's been staring at me?" Hotch asked, turning his back to Strauss. The woman simply raised an eyebrow, then raised her glass of champagne at Rossi, who glared at her, just because he could.

"Yes," he lied, because he was not about to be the one that explained to him that people were staring at him because he had been deemed the eye candy of the Quantico and therefore, everyone loved him.

"You're lying to me. I can tell! What's the truth?"

Not for the first time, Dave wondered what he'd been thinking when he saw the lead agent in Seattle run after a suspect without any sort of back-up, slip in poison ivy and then carry on running, even though everyone else had realised it wasn't the killer they were after and decided that he would make them into a profiler.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he said, making his voice as serious as he could in a vain attempt to make him change his mind.

"Yes. Because it's nowhere near as bad or as serious as you're making it out to be."

Damn him.

"Fine. But I did warn you. It's because you are- objectively- attractive. And apparently, your slightly repressed accent makes everyone swoon. Also Strauss thinks you have a nice ass," Dave said, completely nonchalant.

Hotch's cheeks went brighter than ever before and he spun round, searching for Erin. She had rather coincidentally turned her back to the two of them as she engaged in a very serious conversation with another Section Chief.

"I- I don't even want to know how you know that," Aaron muttered, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets, looking like a petulant child.

"Oh I thought you would love it! You're basically a Southern Belle."

Dave was lucky he was immune to the Hotchner Glare as it came out in full force. "Don't call me a Southern Belle. Do you even know what that is?"

Dave shrugged. "I'm sure I could guess. Look, I'm sorry, I'm just being bitter. Come here."

Aaron regarded him suspiciously. "Why?"

If it had been anyone else, Dave would have told them it was a surprise. Or that they wouldn't know until they stepped forward. But Aaron wasn't anyone else, and Dave needed to remember that. There were certain things he just couldn't say.

"We're going to be here for a while. You can't just stand there with your bow tie undone."

Aaron narrowed his eyes, but stepped forward. When Dave reached forward and grabbed the ends, he tensed. To anyone else, it was too minute a gesture to be noticed. But Dave had spent more time reading people than he had with his second wife. He knew why Aaron was tensing. It was why he took as little time as possible tying it neatly, even though he wanted to take forever.

So that the other agents wouldn't be staring and making him self conscious. That was his only reason. It had nothing to do with the attachment he could feel himself forming, and it most definitely was not linked to his desire to help Aaron associate touch with love and comfort.

When he stepped away, Aaron seemed to relax slightly. "Thank you," he said, ever the gentleman.

Dave just shrugged. "You look better with it done properly. Speaking of, where is Haley?"

"What does Haley have to do with me looking better with my tie done properly?"

"Your tie wasn't done properly because of Haley. Come on Hotch, I thought you were meant to be an ex-prosecutor. And we both know the two of you are inseparable."

Hotch flushed, the way he always did when someone mentioned just how in love with Haley he was. Dave found it adorable, even though he hated himself for that. But he knew how important Haley must have been to Aaron's survival, so even though he wasn't her biggest fan, he begrudgingly respected her.

"She's out with her sister," he mumbled. "They made plans ages ago and they've been so excited for it that I couldn't ask her to cancel just to keep me company."

"That's kind of you. Most men probably wouldn't let their spouse just leave them when there's an event like this going on," Dave said. 

"If you want to go on your date I'll cover for you when Strauss comes calling," Aaron said, rather suddenly. 

Rossi frowned at him. Aaron had seemed excited at the thought of spending the evening together when he first arrived and for him to suddenly seem so willing to spend it apart, just so Dave could go on a date with someone who he was sure was lovely but he couldn't envision a future with, was more than a little unusual.

"Like I said, barring any disasters, I should be able to make it. Are you annoyed at me for bringing up Haley? I know that we had a bit of a rocky start when we first met, but I do respect her. And I like to think she appreciates the fact that I keep you alive."

"I'm not annoyed at you for bringing up Haley," Hotch said, huffing slightly. He was fiddling with his cufflinks. Dave wanted to comment on his behaviour, but did not want to be reminded of the no-profiling rule- which Hotch himself had implemented.

"Well you're annoyed at me for something and I would appreciate you telling me, instead of just bottling it up until we're on a case and something else happens."

"Dave, I am fine," Hotch snapped, tone mitigating his words.

"I'm sure you are," Rossi snapped back, turning away. Strauss was frowning at the two of them and he rolled his eyes. Screw etiquette, and screw the people that thought they were being unprofessional and causing a scene.

They were, but he wasn't going to admit it.

"Do you really think I would forbid my wife to do something as harmless as going out with her sister the same night that I have to attend quite possibly the most boring function known to man?" Hotch suddenly asked, tone laced with malice.

"Of course not Hotshot. I was joking," he said, softening his tone as the problem clicked.

"I wouldn't. I'm not her keeper. And I'm not-" he caught himself, shaking his head. "I just wouldn't."

"I know. I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to joke that like that," Dave said, catching Erin's eye. She nodded, clearly pleased that he had resolved something without resorting to violence or shouting.

He didn't acknowledge her. He wasn't an idiot, and he knew that resorting to violence or even raising his voice would lead to some sort of shut down from Aaron. And he did want the kid to enjoy himself, even though he did agree that playing politics whilst people were dying was stupid.

"The decoration is nice," Aaron commented, a few minutes later.

"It is, isn't it? It reminds me of this opera house I took Carolyn to, for one of our anniversaries. Actually, that opera house seems like the sort of place Haley would enjoy going to. I'll give you the name, you can surprise her," Dave said, deciding he would take the win and prod later.

Aaron choked on his champagne, colour rising to his cheeks when he realised people were watching him cough. He cleared his throat once more before turning to Dave, making absolutely no attempt to hide his shit-eating grin.

"What?" Dave said, hating himself for taking the bait.

"I have to tell Haley that you think she's the kind of person that would go and enjoy herself at an opera house."

"Is she not?"

"Dave, for our last anniversary, I took her to the local theatre because they were putting on Pirates of Penzance because that's what got us together. And the year before that, we both thought it was a week later than what it was, so her sister ended up taking us out."

Maybe Dave wasn't as good a profiler as he thought he was, because in his mind, he had a very specific image of Haley, and none of what had just been said fit with that image. He supposed that was what he got for making assumptions, having never actually met her in person.

"Oh, that's certainly interesting," Dave said.

"She's a very interesting woman," Hotch said, smiling so wide it physically hurt Rossi to see because he knew how the BAU burnt out love, and the strain it put on marriages. Hell, he had lived through it.

"Hold onto her Aaron," he said, without thinking.

Aaron frowned. "Of course I will. Dave, you've been acting weird the whole time we've been here. Are you okay?"

In all honesty, he wasn't. He always said he wasn't like Jason. He had no interest in being a mentor, or finding the next generation of profilers. That was never what he wanted. But there was something about Aaron, and his too large suits and his floppy hair that made him feel things he wasn't ready to confront. 

But if he said any of that, Aaron would probably run for the hills. Hell, he probably would too.

"Of course I am. Now loosen up and enjoy yourself. I can tell you want to," he said, smiling when Aaron's eyes sparkled.

"What do you think Strauss would do if I told her I know what she thinks about my butt?" he asked, the smirk on his face far too mischevious for anyone's comfort.

"You can find out now," Dave said, nodding as Strauss approached them.

"Dave. Aaron, you look very handsome," Erin said, looking him up and down once.

Whatever had possessed Aaron just a few moments before had clearly vanished, as his cheeks flushed and he awkwardly stuttered out something that nobody, not even the person speaking, understood.

"Thank you… Ma'am. You look very nice too," he eventually managed to say, sipping his champagne to distract from his failure at speaking.

"Is there something you need?" Dave said.

"No, just making sure you weren't too bitter about your date being cancelled. And also making sure that Agent Hotchner would save both of us a dance after dinner. I'm sure everyone from Quantico wants to know whether or not our Southern Belle can dance," Erin said.

Hotch downed the rest of his glass. "I'm not- it doesn't work like- I don't- I really don't think- fine. One dance. But that is it, and none of you are allowed to laugh if I mess up, because I'm not the dancer. Haley is."

Haley seemed to be a lot of things that Aaron wasn't. Maybe it was part of the reason they were so well-matched.

Erin nodded, smiled at them both, then went to mingle with different people.

"See, everyone thinks you're a Southern Belle!" Dave said, smirking.

"But why? I've done everything I can to repress my accent, and I have done since the day I started law school," Aaron said. He did not whine, because grown men that worked for the FBI do not whine. But if they did, his sentence would have definitely sounded like whining.

"I know, and most days, it's only the slightest thing. I don't really know how everyone worked it out, but they did. And that's fine!"

Hotch pouted.

"Look, if you really don't want to dance, you could always land yourself in the hospital with some kind of injury. I could take you, sneak off to my date, Haley would affectionately roll her eyes and then give you all the kisses you want…" Rossi said, smirking.

"No it's fine. I'm not going to fake an injury, that would be so embarrassing," Hotch replied.

"Then stop pouting, you look like a child. And go mingle with someone else, if you spend the entire time before dinner with me, what will people say?"

Hotch snorted, then schooled his face into a look of neutrality, before nodding and going off to speak to one of the other higher-ups. Rossi noticed, rather fondly, that it was the one person that actually cared about the people involved in their cases, as opposed to just the politics and the prestige.

About five minutes later, he realised he missed the kid. And then he started to panic. Because he didn't get attached to people. Especially not new agents that had too much hope and faith. Not new agents that were that nice. He didn't. He couldn't.

Him and Aaron ended up seated next to each other at the banquet table, because there genuinely was no other way to describe it. It was long, and grand, and every platter was filled to the brim with food of so many different types. Dave honestly could not remember what the function was actually for, but a part of him was tempted to comment that if part of the budget for these events went to the BAU then they'd probably be able to properly fund the unit.

He refrained, if only because Aaron looked so excited at the prospect of finally eating something. Dave had learnt long ago that you had to eat before you came to these events because people loved talking and more often than not, you'd drink the champagne just to get through their conversations, but clearly Aaron hadn't quite learnt that lesson yet.

"So where is that wife of yours?" Max asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Hotch tensed. "Out with her sister. Why?"

"I've only seen you smile like you are now when Haley is around, but I don't see her anywhere," he said, in that annoyingly patronising tone of his.

Hotch relaxed, but flushed. "I-oh. Yeah. She's out with Jessica because they had made plans a while back and they don't really see each other as much anymore because Haley's busy teaching and doing the school production, and Jessica's getting her Masters so," he trailed off.

"I think it's lovely, how much you love Haley," Erin added.

Dave snorted into his glass, not at the fact that Aaron looked so uncomfortable but at the fact that these people hunted down serial killers and criminals for a living, and yet the thing they got the most joy from was teasing a kid about his marriage.

"Right, that's enough being mean to the newbie. What about dessert?" Dave said.

Aaron flashed him a grateful smile. He just shook his head. He remembered when he’d turned up to his first event, Carolyn in awe of all the decorations and outfits, and everyone else had been ruthless with their teasing. He wasn’t about to let Hotch suffer that same fate. He’d probably faint with embarrassment.

Erin laughed at the two of them, and Jason smiled at Dave’s defensiveness over his new protege. One day. One day Jason would get Dave to admit that the way he felt towards Aaron was nothing short of paternal. Max just rolled his eyes, but the waiters came to clear their plates before he could make another biting comment.

Aaron excused himself to the bathroom, and then the dessert was brought out. Dave, being the saint he was, switched his and Aaron’s plates because he wasn’t getting younger and he knew he was meant to be cutting down on his sugar. So if Aaron had the bigger slice, then it would do them both a favour. And it had a whole strawberry to decorate it, not just the jam.

Erin was giving him one of his looks when their eyes met and he resisted the urge to stick his tongue out. He knew what that look meant. It meant Erin had an opinion on whatever he had just done, and it was one he wouldn’t like or approve of. 

“Look, it’s strawberry cheesecake!” Dave exclaimed, poking his fork in Aaron’s direction in an attempt to distract from Erin’s gaze.

The smile that had been plastered across Aaron’s face since they’d been sat down- and Dave really didn’t want to think that it was as a result of Erin’s comment about his butt, although it was the only thing that made sense- faded, and the colour seemed to drain from his face.

“What is it? Come on, you must love dessert, you’re the kid,” Dave said, slightly teasing.

Aaron opened his mouth, seemingly contemplating saying something that he thought would ruin the entire evening, but then he closed it and gave Dave a forced, tight-lipped smile. He almost pushed, but they had been having fun, so he just grinned back and urged Hotch to eat it.

If anyone noticed him wince as he swallowed each bite, or the fear that flickered in his eyes when he ate the strawberry, they didn’t comment. For that, he was grateful. He still had no idea what he was meant to do when the inevitable happened, but so long as nobody realised, he had time to work it out. All he needed was time.

He did really miss Haley though. If Haley had been there, she would have said something on his behalf because she would have known there was no way he would do it himself. It was too late to turn back now though. There was a tiny part of him that secretly hoped he’d outgrown it, but the moment he felt stomach cramps forming, he knew that was wishful thinking. Still, if he was lucky, nothing too serious would happen until he got home. Haley would panic, take him to the hospital and everything would be fine. Nobody else would have to know.

Or so he thought.

He’d gotten so good at not eating strawberries that he had completely forgotten just how badly, and quickly, the effects would hit him. He had forgotten just how allergic he was to the fruit. And he was aware of how stupid that sounded, but it was just one of those things.

Dave was staring. So was Erin. He cleared his throat, awkwardly looking down. When the waiters came out once more to clear the plates away, he smiled at them, hoping his cheeks didn’t seem flushed, or his palms too clammy.

“You promised me a dance,” Dave said, nudging his elbow.

“I did, didn’t I?” Aaron responded, hoping his voice didn’t sound too strained. When he stood up, his vision went slightly fuzzy and unfocused, and he found himself grabbing the table in order to stay upright.

He was going to be fine. All he had to do was make it through another few hours, and there was always a delay between his vision blurring and breathing becoming difficult, so with just a bit of luck, he could still do it.

Luck had never really been on his side.

Erin was standing, talking to Dave, and he couldn’t remember what he was meant to be doing, or why nobody was dancing. Maybe they had just been teasing him when they said he owed them both a dance. Or maybe they were waiting for him to do something. Either way, the confusion wasn’t helping him function.

“Kid, what’s happened to your hand?” Dave said suddenly. It reminded him of that time his cousin had eaten shellfish, but that didn’t make sense. There was no way Aaron had hit adulthood without realising he was allergic to the things they’d eaten.

Aaron stared at him.

Erin grabbed his wrist, the look that crossed her face one of fear and panic. “Aaron.” 

It couldn’t be. There was no way the ugly red rash forming on his hand as they watched him was being caused by an allergic reaction. It just couldn’t, because Hotchner may have been stupid and irresponsible, but there was no way he was that irresponsible.

He cleared his throat.

“Now would be a terrible time to tell you that I’m allergic to strawberries, wouldn’t it?” he rapsed.

Dave’s jaw dropped. “You’re what?”

Aaron Hotchner’s timing had never been good. It had actually always been abysmal. He was born early, in both senses of the word, met the girl he would end up marrying on the last day before a three month holiday which she would spend out of the state, and was generally just not smooth with the way he did things.

So as if on cue, he fell to the ground, completely losing consciousness. Clearly the delay between his vision growing blurry and his breathing becoming shallow was not the large space of time he thought it would be.

“Aaron!” Dave yelled.

Erin dropped to her knees by her side. “Dave, phone for an ambulance. Now.” 

Dave blinked a few times, then realised what she was asking him to do and ran out the room to find the phone. When he was patched through, he realised he had no idea if what Aaron was experiencing was just a reaction, or anaphylactic shock, but he just explained himself as best he could, only relaxing when they said it was likely everything would be fine and they would be there soon.

He re-entered the room only two minutes later, and Aaron was still in the recovery position.

“The idiot doesn’t have an EpiPen on him. I don’t know why, but he doesn’t, so now we literally have to wait until the ambulance gets here and hope for the best,” Erin said, some strange mix of angry and terrified.

“He doesn’t have his- what kind of- why not?” Dave said.

When he looked around the room, he realised it was suddenly startlingly empty. It was just Erin, him, Aaron- who still hadn’t come around- and Jason. Max was suspiciously absent. He figured that was for the best. If anyone would make the situation more awkward than it already was, it’d be Max.

“He managed to get everyone to go downstairs, then said he would stay with them. We figured the less people around when he woke up, the less embarrassed Hotchner would be,” Jason explained. “And on that note, I’ll go explain to the paramedics what happened,” he added, as sirens filled the air.

“Dave, when did our lives suddenly become co-parenting this mess of an adult if only so he gets home safe to Haley?” Erin suddenly asked.

“We don’t co-parent him. No. We just… look after him the way we would do with any other new agent that was his age,” Dave said, although he wasn’t even convincing himself. Erin didn’t respond, just looked at him with that glint in her eye.

He didn’t get the chance to carry on with his argument because Jason entered with the paramedics, and him and Erin moved away. It seemed like they had already been informed that Aaron didn’t have an EpiPen on him, because the first thing they did was inject him. There was one terrifying moment, in which Erin grabbed his wrist, where Dave thought they were too late, but they weren’t. 

Aaron opened his eyes, obviously disoriented and immediately after lifting his head, let it hit the floor again. He seemed far too pale, but nothing gave the impression that he was going to be sick, so Dave relaxed. When he and Erin were finally able to go over, Aaron was almost done answering their questions, some of the colour returning to his face in the form of flushed cheeks.

If he was capable of embarrassment, then everything was going to be fine.

“We’re going to need to take him to the hospital for observation and to make sure he doesn’t have a secondary reaction, but one of you is welcome to come. In fact, it would be preferred, wouldn’t it Aaron?” one of the paramedics said.

Aaron nodded, not quite meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Dave, you should go. Aaron, I don’t want to see you in the office until you’ve been cleared both by the doctors and by Haley to return. Do you understand me?” Erin chastised, sound every bit the mother Aaron had never had.

He nodded miserably, closing his eyes, and for a few moments, Dave felt terrible for him because so many pieces seemed to be falling into place now. And then he remembered that the whole thing had been caused by Aaron not saying he was allergic. He still felt terrible, but he also wondered what the hell he was meant to say to Haley.

“Come on kiddo,” he said as gently as he could, helping Aaron to his feet and into the elevator.

When he was safely sat in the ambulance, and they were well on their way to the hospital, he raised an eyebrow at Aaron who pulled a face.

“Don’t,” he protested weakly.

“So you’re allergic to strawberries,” Dave said. “How long have you been sitting on that piece of information for?”

“I’ve known since I was four and ended up in the hospital after I went strawberry picking with my mother and ate one of them.”

“Aaron, nobody was going to be offended. You could have just said something, it would have been okay. Really, you can’t judge someone just because they have an allergy, and everyone would have just moved on. You didn’t need to eat it.”

Aaron swallowed. “When I was eight, my father bought strawberry tarts for my mother and I, because he knew she had friends round and he wanted to seem like a dutiful husband. He didn’t- she’d kept the first time a secret from him because he’d been out of town. And when she tried to tell him, he said I was being difficult, then he made me eat it whilst she told her friends everything was fine. I only survived because she snuck in with my EpiPen.”

“Oh kid,” Dave said, chilled to the bone.

He shook his head. “I knew, realistically, that nobody would say anything, but I just couldn’t shake the memory of being told that if I was going to waste food, then I didn’t deserve it.”

“Aaron, that’s not-”

“I know that. Now at least. Thanks for not reacting weirdly. Or thinking less of me.”

“Agent Hotchner- are you still esquire, oh it doesn’t matter, esquire- nothing would ever make me think less of you. Especially not this. It wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault, and I know it’s easy for me to see, but I need you to know that.”

Aaron gave him a slight smile, eyes watering. “Thank you Dave.”

“I do have one question though. Where the fuck was your EpiPen?”

He made a sound, one that Dave was not going to dignify by actually naming in his head.

“That didn’t sound like an answer young man,” he teased.

Aaron sighed. “It- okay. My blazer pockets weren’t big enough to fit it, and I figured strawberries isn’t exactly a common thing, so it would be fine if I left it in the car, but then I didn’t want to say anything, and then I passed out before I could- oh.”

“What?”

“Did everyone see me collapse?”

Dave considered lying, but Aaron had bared his soul to him. He owed him this small piece of honesty. “Yes, but they also witnessed me running like a headless chicken to get to the phone and Erin completely freaking out, so it’s all okay. I promise.”

Aaron nodded, not fully convinced. “Thank you. For caring.”

And one day, Dave would teach him that caring was what people did for each other. That it wasn’t something he had to earn, or something that would be snatched away at the smallest transgression. He would teach him that the love he had always deserved but never been shown was going to come from more than just Haley. It was going to come from every single good person he knew.

But in that moment, he just leant over and ruffled his hair. And maybe the gesture was paternal, but he could live with that.

“Mrs Hotchner’s been waiting for you all to arrive,” the receptionist said the moment they came through the doors. Aaron relaxed at the mention of his wife.

“You can send her in as soon as we go in. He’s been treated, we’re just keeping him for observation,” the paramedic said. The receptionist nodded and turned to one of their colleagues, who immediately got up.

Dave hung around as they got him situated, wondering when would be an appropriate time to leave. He didn’t want to step on Haley’s toes, or make her feel like she wasn’t trusted, but he also didn’t really want to leave either of them. Not if the real timeline matched the one he’d created in his head. She would have just been a child too, but children always believed that they needed to save everyone and anything less was a failure. He didn’t know how to say that their job was to be a child, and it was on the adults to keep them safe without patronising the two of them.

So he sat instead, keeping Aaron company until he was no longer needed.

Haley came rushing in the moment she was allowed to, her eyes slightly red. They must have told her how severe the situation was, and Dave felt guilty for making her panic so much, when Aaron was doing much better already.

“Baby, they told me what happened. How are you feeling? Is your heartbeat erratic? Is there anything you need?” she asked, not even acknowledging Dave. He wasn’t offended though. The love Haley had for her husband was the most fierce thing he’d witnessed, and now he understood. She’d spent her entire life defending him and the love she had for him.

He shook his head, then grinned at her. “Kiss me?” he asked, and for a moment, he was just a normal man, so in love with his wife it physically hurt to witness.

“I shouldn’t- me and Jess had strawberry margaritas before we got the phone call. She’s coming round tomorrow to check on you herself by the way,” Haley said, brushing his hair off his head with a smile.

Aaron nodded. “I’d expect nothing less. Oh Haley, this is Dave. And Dave, this is Haley.”

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Dave said. 

“You too. So, what happened? Because you told me it was just a function, and then when I got home, there was a message from the hospital that you were being brought in for anaphylactic shock which doesn’t make any sense because you don’t eat strawberries anymore!” Haley said.

Aaron had the decency to look away. “I didn’t want to cause a scene so I ate this slice of strawberry cheesecake. And I thought it would be fine- well not fine, don’t look at me like that. I thought I’d be able to last till I got home. I’m sorry.”

“Baby, I’m not angry, don’t worry,” Haley said, taking his hand. “Just do what the doctors say, okay? And please don’t eat strawberries anymore just to be polite.”

“I’m afraid I may have made it worse,” Dave confessed, needing them to know, even though it had not been intentional, by any stretch of the imagination.

“What do you mean? How?” Haley asked. Aaron lifted his arm enough to signal that he had the same question.

“I switched our plates when they got given to us so Aaron had the bigger slice. It also had a whole strawberry on it, instead of just half a slice. Maybe if I hadn’t done that, his reaction would have been less severe. I’m sorry.”

Haley, in spite of, or maybe because of that single comment, started laughing. Aaron just watched her laugh with a smile on his face like he had never seen something so beautiful, and he probably never had. Dave watched them, confusion across his features.

“I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s just- Dave you have nothing to apologise for. He was always going to have a reaction. And given that he didn’t even have his EpiPen-”

“It was in the car,” Aaron said, not quite whining but definitely getting close.

“Didn’t have his EpiPen,” Haley said, like Aaron hadn’t even spoken, “it was probably always going to end like this. I’m just laughing because you sound like such a parent. Like switching slices is something my dad did for me and Jess when we were little. It’s cute.”

Aaron looked to Dave, fearful and hopeful all at once.

“What can I say? Erin and I need to make sure someone keeps an eye on him,” he said. There were a lot of things in his life he wasn’t proud of. There were lots of mistakes he had made. But this? Being considered Aaron’s parent? It would never be one of them.

Aaron smiled at him, the light in his eyes returning. Haley nodded her approval. When the nurse came in a few minutes later to check Aaron’s vitals, the silence felt comfortable and natural, as though they had already become attuned to the others’ needs.

“Are you two going to be okay?” Dave asked. Someone needed to tell Erin that he was okay, and he really wanted to go to bed. He realised that he hadn’t even considered trying to salvage his date with Anya. He supposed they could always reschedule. Besides, Aaron was more important now.

Haley nodded. “Yeah, I’ll drive us home, make sure he takes a bath and have him back and safe with you on Monday, don’t worry.”

Dave stood up and started heading towards the door. “Oh don’t worry too much about rushing back to us. I’m sure we’ll survive. His cute butt will be missed, but we’ll make it through.”

Haley snorted. “Aaron didn’t I say that there was no way people hadn’t noticed?”

Aaron did not reply, but he did glare at both of them.

Dave smiled. Just before he left, he hesitated for a moment, wondering whether or not it was the time and the place. But he just couldn’t resist. “So are there any other allergies we need to be aware of? Shellfish, pollen, nuts? Pretty ladies that want you to call them back?”

“Dave!” Aaron said, and this time it was definitely a whine.

He just smiled, leaving Aaron and Haley in the hospital room. Had it been a normal event? No. But he wouldn’t trade the night for anything in the world. After all, he had just found a whole new family. And he couldn’t wait for Haley to meet Erin. The two of them would definitely cause Hotcher a whole new level of embarrassment.

It was going to be the messiest and most random family to exist, but a family nonetheless.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner #david rossi #haley hotchner #erin strauss #hotch x haley #tw child abuse #tw alcohol #tw anaphylaxis #tw allergies #tw child death #tw hospitals #guys i finally did it #tw food #sumayyah writes cm

[taiblogcomics]

Earth, But Worse

Hey there, a plane for bats. Got more Red Hood this week, and surprisingly it's something we've been waiting for a while. Which is surprising that we want anything from Red Hood, but here we are~

And here's the cover:

This cover actually reminds me a lot of the cover to Red Hood and the Outlaws #1. Except a bit more boring, since they're not doing anything on this one. Bizarro--or Beardzarro, as I prefer to call him now--can't even be bothered to pose. Yeah, this cover is terrible, but surprisingly it still manages to sell itself with its text. Because, to be perfectly honest, the actual fate of Bizarro and Artemis is something I was honestly invested in. I don't like Jason, but I do want to know what happened to his friends~

Well, if you remember two issues ago, there was a minor plot thing where Jason discovered a hole that he figured could only be made by his missing friend Artemis. He hasn't seen them in a long while and believes them to be dead. We know better, but the specifics of their disappearance hasn't been revealed. Anyway, at the end of last issue, Jason intended to go back to Gotham with his new compatriots, but he had something to take care of first. And here it is! Jasen enters a park and talks to a creepy kid on the swingset. Yeah, you know it's concerning when the kid is creepier than the strange adult coming over to talk to the kid. This kid's name is Caden, and he has the powers to sync up with and copy the powers of the dead. Jason asks him to borrow Artemis and Bizarro's powers, and when he can't, it confirms for him that they're still alive.

And indeed they are! We rejoin them back on the last time we saw them. Which means we can also segue over here with this classic phrase: "Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...!" Except not quite. Being an alternate Earth, this building is named the Hall of Punishment, and has a bunch of spiky red rocks jutting from it. Naturally, they decide to explore it. And as they enter, we find them being watched. The first is a creepy-looking dude in a classic milkman uniform, whose art seems to be really awkward about him being able to hold things. Like an old video game model that can't close its hands. He is the Dairy King. The other is a teen girl named "Air Quote". Her "quirk" is that she uses a lot of "unnecessary quotation marks". She can also use her "hand" as a "phone" to "contact people" "long distance". I hope that's not "confusing" or anything~

Inside the Hall of Punishment, Bizarro and Artemis discover a big set of statues of the whole Justice League, all of which have been desecrated or partially destroyed in some way. Artemis figures it's a message. A museum guard happens by them, and quickly figures out they're legitimate superheroes. And since they don't know about Hero Day, they must not be from around here. He leads them into another room, where they find Superman. Or rather, Superman's corpse, his head crushed beneath the famous Daily Planet globe. The guard explains that just one day something happened, nobody knows what or why. But suddenly, everyone with powers just lost them--and everybody without powers gained some. This is punctuated by the guard suddenly turning red and spiky like the spires bursting out of the Hall of Punishment.

Artemis tries to call her axe to her, but instead it just sort of rends her soul. Wherever they are, whatever Earth this is, her axe is not here, and the effort of trying to call it exhausts her, leaving Bizarro to deal with Spiky Guard Man. The guy also confesses that basically everyone on this Earth is a dickbag. Apparently everyone felt opressed by superheroes, so when they lost their powers, they all rose up against them and killed them, flashbacks showing the defeats of Green Lantern John Stewart and Wonder Woman. Which, oh boy, has some problems not unlike the infamously bad "JLA: Act of God". I'll get into that at the end, but in short, Bizarro tells the guy that power doesn't make you a somebody--but it helps. And then he literally throws the guy into the sun. Damn.

Artemis wakes up, and she's pretty okay with Bizarro taking out that guy. The pair retreat, and catch sight of Dairy King, Air Quote, and some other goons looking to kill them. Of this group (including the ones already named), the only one of consequence is Flutterby, a woman with giant flaming butterfly wings. Like, what was even the point of setting up Dairy King earlier? No joke, he's not in the rest of the comic. Anyway, the pair begin to make a plan of what to do next, but are interrupted by a man in a purple waistcoat with a wide grin. He introduces himself as Jack Knife, and he'd like them to join his Resistance.

So we cut to six months later. This is right at the middle of the comic, so you could actually think of this as designed as being two separate issues they compiled into an annual to not interrupt Jason's ongoing story. This is especially evident by Jack Knife's appearance being followed with some "Will Artemis and Bizarro join the resistance!?" caption boxes that make little sense when you can just turn the page and find out that yes, they do. Anyways, six months later, and that Flutterby woman is being attacked by a man wearing an Iron Man suit made of cars. His name is Kennel, which is a pretty weird name for a guy who doesn't have dog powers.

Bizarro appears and destroys Kennel's suit with one punch. Flutterby begs Bizarro to finish the job, but Bizarro promised Artemis no killing. He takes a jewel from her, and walks away, deliberately pretending like he's not noticing her lingering behind to roast Kennel alive. After all, he promised he won't kill anybody. Bizarro is clever enough to figure out loopholes, I'm impressed. We cut over to the Pentagon, where Artemis is trying to get through a cell. Jack Knife is rambling to himself, and two guards show up. Artemis and Jack beat them up, but Artemis has to pull Jack away from getting more vicious.

Flutterby and Bizarro return to their own friends, which appears to be inside the fallen top of the Washington Monument. But enough of that scene! All we needed to see was them reuniting with their friends, I guess, because we then cut back to Artemis and Jack fighting their way deeper into the Pentagon. They've found the guy they're looking for: General Samuel Lane, Lois Lane's father. See, he's tired of imposing his will on this Earth. All the superheroes are dead, and the world is orderly now. So he's going to turn his attention elsewhere--or should I say elseworlds. He's planning to tunnel into Bizarro and Artemis' home Earth and kill all the superheroes there too.

But he can't do this alone. Enter the Lex Luthor of this planet, who has been turned into a giant mangled brain with a face, fused to an ATV. Lex reveals he was the one behind Hero Day, which also accounts for his current... condition. Like, I mean, at least MODOK or Hector Hammond still had arms. I'd also say they at least still had hair, too, but Lex was never particularly blessed in that department. Anyway, that's the past. What's important is the future, given Lex's plans and all. So how is he planning to get to Earth-Prime and kill the mainstream universe? Simple. Remember the Quantum Doorway that Bizarro and Artemis used to get here? Remember how it exploded? Lex has spent all this time putting it back together. Only took him six months, too! Guy must be a whiz at jigsaw puzzles. Or not--again, no arms~

He does, however, have psychic powers--because when you're a giant brain, you gotta have something--and zaps Artemis. While his guard is down during the zapping, though, the Resistance suddenly jumps in and attacks. They have a teleporter on their team, they just need someone to link between the two places. So it was all about getting Artemis in there, and having them follow. They also brought a big ol' sword for Artemis, who plunges it into Lex's brain--which is all of him--and kills him. They then slot that gemstone Flutterby retrieved into a device, hoping it'll undo the whole Hero Day event. The original heroes may be dead, but it beats having everyone else have powers, if they're all such psychos about it.

And... That's the end! Artemis and Bizarro say their farewells, and they go leaping into the Quantum Doorway, hoping that this leap will be the one that takes them home. We won't find out, however, because the ending tagline then promises to see if they return in Red Hood #37. Considering the last one I reviewed was issue 31, maybe I did this one a little early. But it's where it was in my stack, so why shouldn't it be correct~? Seemed like a great place for a break in the arc to me. Well, whatever. Come back in... mid-April, I guess, and we'll see if they made it back~

So, yeah. Let’s start with the Act of God problem first: not all superheroes have superpowers. They specifically show John Stewart getting killed here, and John is just a regular guy. The ring gives him abilities, but he is not himself a superhuman. A magic gene bomb--as it’s revealed to be the eventual cause of the mass depowering/empowering--should not have turned off his ability to use the ring. This also doesn’t account for other superheroes who don’t have powers--DC being pretty famous for this. There’s a desecrated statue of Batman in the Hall of Punishment, but shouldn’t Batman have gained powers from this event?

There’s one other question I would like to address. Jack Knife. His name, his appearance, his creepy grin, insane ramblings, violent demeanor... His entire physique (save for not having the white skin or green hair) and mannerisms call to mind the Joker. But there’s never any reveal of him being, like, a Joker who lost his superpower of being insane. I mean, that’d be bullshit, but at least it’d be an explanation for why he’s so... Jokery. That’s my big gripe here. The comic sets up this whole world for Artemis and Bizarro to struggle in, and then doesn’t want to explain any of the details of this world. This goes as far as Flutterby being one of the people hunting them down on one page, and then six months later, being part of the Resistance at the turn of a page.

We wanted to know what happened to Bizarro and Artemis, but I gotta say... the answer was extremely unsatisfying. And as a minor note, for a thing that only names Jason in the series title anymore (notice the switch to Red Hood: Outlaw), this issue sure barely had him factor into it in any significant way~

#comics #reviews #Red Hood and the Outlaws #Red Hood: Outlaw #Taiblog

[rosewoodrebel]

Ezra is AD and Big Bad of PLL - Season 3, Part One

Below are the clues from the first half of Season 3(A) clues and theories that show Ezra is AD, Uber A, Big Bad, he she, it, bitch.  Spoilers abound below as I piece together clues from the third season with those from others in order to illustrate that Ezra has been pulling the strings all along.  This one is long, and a doozy.  That is why I am splitting it into two posts, for each half season.  Let’s dive in.

Season 3A:

In 3x01, the episode begins with the girls having a sleepover at Spencer’s, getting drunk, parallel to the pilot episode.  The girls realize Emily is missing after Aria and Hanna wake up and find Spencer looking for her.  Emily has been drugged and coerced into digging up “Alison’s” grave and removing the body.  We now know this body belonged to Bethany Young.  If Cece had just taken over the A game from Mona, and they both were in Radley, why would Cece want to dig up the body?  She did not kill Bethany Young, and if she spoke to Mona about Ali, she would know that Ali was not dead and just missing.  The dental records for Bethany had already been switched to Ali’s so the body looked like Alison’s.  Why would Cece want to dig up Bethany’s body and potentially put herself and Mona at risk?  Someone wants to punish the girls and maybe Melissa for Bethany’s death.  Perhaps there is a connection between Ezra and Bethany we don’t yet know about.  Perhaps Ezra believes at this point that the PLLs killed Bethany to cover up for Ali while she is on the run and he wants to prove that body belongs to Bethany and not Alison.

If Ezra is running the game, he wants the stuff in “Alison’s” casket to torture them with.  He wants Bethany’s body to publicly embarrass, shame, and discredit them (just like he did to Spencer with her Adderall habit in Season 4, which I cannot WAIT to get to).  And who shows up on the Halloween train just in time to watch the body slip out of the ice chest?  Ezra.  Doing his best fake “I’m shocked!!!” schtick. 

Later in the episode Spencer and Aria are speaking in the hallway about Ezra and Aria’s parents.  Spencer compares Ezra to Lord Voldemort.

At the end of 3x01, tons of pictures of the girls that night are left all over Spencer’s car.  Aria took photography classes that summer.  Maybe Ezra did too.

In 3x02, Emily receives the necklace with the teeth, Dead Girls Can’t Smile.  However, the girls accidentally flush the necklace down the toilet.  Aria complains to Ezra about Meredith applying for a job at Rosewood High.  They speak about how Ezra has to drop off Aria 3 blocks away from her house because that is how strongly against their relationship her parents are.  At this point, Ezra is still stalking Aria for his book.  Despite knowing what stress and family strife he is causing Aria, he still continues to see her, despite the fact that his feelings for her may be non-existent at this point.  Because she is too valuable of a source of information for him to let go yet.

Spencer visits Garrett in jail when he tells her that the body in the ground that was stolen (Bethany’s) would have proven he was not guilty.  Medical records don’t lie.  He also says, “someone close to you has you fooled.” Who is this?  Cece hasn’t been introduced to the plot yet.  Mona doesn’t have anyone fooled anymore because she has been outed as A and Hanna visits her in Radley at the next scene.  It’s Ezra.

Ezra then begins to tutor Emily at Aria’s urging.  It’s another way for him to keep tabs on the PLL’s, by spending more time with Emily and gaining her trust.

Aria finds another grave present in her locker; an earring. This makes her flash back to the time she and Alison had broken into Byron’s office after finding out about his affair with Meredith. She had found those earrings on the couch, proving that her dad was still seeing Meredith despite him promising otherwise.  Aria relives the memory of her and Alison trashing Byron’s office over his affair with Meredith and tells Hanna.  Aria finds one of “Meredith’s” earrings.  Aria then receives an A text that syas “Daddy needs to know, or I let the other one go.  To the police.  Nighty-Night.  -A

Why would Cece care about Aria and Alison trashing her dad’s office because he cheated?  Cece wouldn’t.  But Ezra is having problems with Aria’s family and this issue of Aria and Meredith takes the heat off of him.

Aria meets Meredith at the Brew. She wants to go someplace more private, but Meredith refuses. Aria begins to recount the night, but Meredith already remembers the details vividly. So, Aria blandly apologizes. Meredith then tells her that she and Byron made lunch plans for the next day. Disgusted, she tells Meredith that she found her earrings in her dad’s office that night and now wants to return it. Meredith looks at it and says the earring isn’t hers, shocking Aria.  Who would know enough about Aria, her dad’s affair, and the situation with Meredith enough to plant this earring?  It wouldn’t be Cece.  She hadn’t even met the girls yet.  Ezra would, because he had Ali’s diaries and Aria told him about Byron’s affair.

Later on, Ella is grading papers at school.  She finds that Emily has left the paper unfinished. After giving it a thought, she takes a pen and finishes the test for Emily. Just then, she hears a noise outside, as if somebody is watching her.

The next day, Ezra visits Ella in her classroom. He wants to talk about Emily. He admits that he has been tutoring Emily and wants know how she performed the test. Ella tells him that Emily did fine. Ezra seems unconvinced as after the test, the previous day, Emily seemed pretty distraught. He asks if Emily could take the test again, Ella assures him that it is not required.  He has found a way to create a problem, insert himself into that problem, and come out looking as the hero when he saves the day in 3x03.

Ezra was the one who reported Ella’s forgery of Emily’s grade. Ella is leaving the classroom to talk to the vice principal. Emily arrives and says she is coming along too. Ella refuses, but Emily insists. In the hallway, they run into Ezra, who is speaking to the vice principal. Ezra has told him that the accusation is his fault because he asked Ella to grade Emily’s paper in front of him which may of seemed like preferential treatment. He also confessed that he was “over-invested” in being her tutor. Hackett only sees it as professional courtesy to help the system work better. He tells Ella that the matter has been resolved, and Ella gets off the

When Ella confronts Ezra about the situation, Ezra explains that he knows Arthur Hackett hates conflict and making decisions. So, if he offered a way out of the situation, he would take it.  This shows that he is an expert manipulator and can make people do what he wants by exploiting their weaknesses.

In 3x04, Jason demands that Veronica Hastings tell him why she is defending Garrett Reynolds.  After offering up a weak response, Jason begins hanging posters offering a $50,00 reward for information on the whereabouts of Alison’s corpse.  If he was A, or involved with A, he would not have been doing this.  Moments later, the liars receive another mysterious text that says: “Imagine what I could do with fifty grand.”

Spencer has a conversation with Jason and urges him to withdraw the reward.  He brushes her off, and she leaves.  Jason writes a cheque for the $50,000 reward, and then picks up his phone to tell someone to “meet him in the parking lot” in 15 minutes.

At the end of the episode we see “A” at Montecito airport, enjoying a cup of cocktail, and hacking the computer system of the Radley Sanitarium allowing Mona visitors. When the airport announcer announces that the plane would leave for Philadelphia in the next 15 minutes, “A” closes her/his computer, stands up, and leaves $50 as tip for the waiters before the screen cuts to black.  A was in Montecito in 3 x 05 to run Caleb’s mom off the road.  A person has to be at least 25 to rent a car in California.  The only person that could do that would be Ezra.  When we see Ezra next, Aria meets up with him and hands him a cup of coffee saying, “Here’s your red-eye!” as in a red-eye flight.

In 3x05 Ezra is claiming to be out of work and broke.  Yet he gets Aria a very expensive camera that was revealed at Jenna’s birthday.  And in 3x06, Aria finds a HUGE amount of money in a ziplock bag in Ezra’s sock drawer:

Aria then asks Spencer later on, why someone would have that much cash on hand.  Spencer responds in the most interesting way.  She says, “If you had that much cash lying around, you’d probably have a bomb shelter and like five years of dehydrated meat, or you’re a criminal.”  Sound like the dollhouse, much?!

When Aria goes to Ezra and asks for an explanation, he gives her some convoluted story about selling his Grandfather’s Jaguar.  We have never seen him with this car, or mention it before, and he claims to have disinherited himself.

In the last scene, we see “A” eating a bowl of ice-cream, reading the news about the dismissal of charges in the DiLaurentis murder case. “A” then circles an ad (“Rooms for Rent”) in the Classified section, and proceeds to call the number on the ad.  None of the characters in high school, or Cece/Mona in Radley have the credit or age to rent an apartment themselves.  But Ezra does.

It is only in 3x07 that we find out that Ezra’s real last name isn’t Fitz, but Fitzgerald when we meet his mother Dianne in 3x07.  Dianne invites Aria and Ezra to an opening at a museum that night. Ezra tells Aria that he fibbed about when their relationship began. He told his mother, Dianne, that it was after he left Rosewood High School.  More lies.

We then go to the Fitzgerald Art Foundation where we are introduced to the infamous Isle of the Dead painting, which has ties to Vladimir Nabokov, the author of Lolita.  Another PLL blog wrote about that beautifully hidden clue here: http://bllpll.tumblr.com/post/89854785537

Dianne asks Aria what her parents think of Ezra. She also asks about her parents being separated. Dianne then starts to get really nosy and rude about Aria’s family, beginning to suggest how bad she’s been for Ezra. She then says she’s not going to let Aria “ruin” Ezra and hints at paying her to break up with her son. Aria leaves in disgust, spilling her drink into a nearby plant on the way. Ezra asks Dianne what she said to Aria, since he can’t find her now. Ezra tells her this kind of stuff is why he doesn’t want to have anything to do with his family.  Perhaps what we don’t know is that episode closes with “A” collecting a large sum of money from a bank and taking a mint from a bowl. The teller says “Just looking at you in that hoodie makes me shiver. I guess summer’s really over.” Ezra was adopted, Dianne knows that Ezra has mental problems, and she doesn’t want her son regressing by getting involved with a young girl with so many problems of her own.  

Perhaps this was also a clever double entendre, because he is related to the DiLaurentis/Drake/Hastings family who are also cruel to outsiders.

The episode closes with “A” collecting a large sum of money from a bank and taking a mint from a bowl. The teller says “Just looking at you in that hoodie makes me shiver. I guess summer’s really over.”

At the bank, the amount is $50,000 in neat $100, $10,000 stacks.  We know that A is OCD and very organized.  The money in Ezra’s sock drawer was folded, in different bills (20s, 50s, and 100s).  Any amount over $10,000 has to be reported to the government and that isn’t desirable for someone like A.  I’m betting Ezra had Jason’s check cashed under an alias at a shady check cashing place, and then used another bank to convert the cash into neat, clean piles, using new bills that could not be tracked from the original transaction.

In 3x09, Aria is seen in the hallway outside of Ezra’s apartment, hearing a loud argument going on. Ezra’s brother, Wesley is now shown for the first time as he greets Aria while Ezra shouts at him to leave. Aria is surprised that again, Ezra has kept another family member from her and Ezra reveals why Wesley was there. Wes was offering Ezra money in order to buy back the car that he sold before. Apparently, the car wasn’t his to sell in the first place in which his mother had claimed it an “old family heirloom” and wants it back. However, Ezra doesn’t want to borrow the money, or even have to deal with his rich family for that matter, so he goes to withdraw money from the bank and leaves Aria behind along in his apartment.  Ezra could’ve easily manipulated his brother into telling this lie and that is what they were arguing about.  Or maybe Ezra just temporarily borrowed the car, and was going to use that as his cover for the 50k from Jason, and then return it eventually.

In 3x09, the Kahn Game, Cece takes Spencer and Aria to the Kahn’s cabin where she indulges in a game of truth or dare.  Everyone at the party knows who she is, including Noel’s older brother.  How would they if this girl was transgender, and had been locked away in Radley her whole life?  She wasn’t.   

Wesley arrives at the Kahn’s to pick up Aria and she accepts the ride. In the way to Ezra’s apartment, Wes inadvertently tells Aria about Maggie, Ezra’s ex-girlfriend whom he got pregnant in high school.  Aria arrives at Ezra’s and tells him she knows about Maggie. Ezra explains that his mother gave Maggie money to go away and never talk or contact Ezra anymore because she thought being pregnant in high school was ruining him. That’s why he got away from his family and changed his last name to Fitz.  Another strange situation about an unwanted baby….perhaps akin to his own start in life.

In 3x11, Ezra tells Aria that he has written an email to Maggie but hasn’t sent it because he is scared.  Ezra has full scale surveillance set up on the girls at this point, and he cant investigate to find out whether or not he has a son?! This is, in my opinion, all a ruse to make himself look more innocent and naive.  We all know Ezra could’ve gotten the information easily had he wanted it.  I mean, he dated a 16 year old girl and took her virginity just to get information on her “dead” 15 year old friend who he also dated lol.  Please. *eyeroll*  

Aria then goes to investigate and goes to Maggie’s classroom, where Maggie tells Aria that she was a teen mom, and Malcolm is her 7 year old son.   At Ezra’s house Wesley suggests that his mom is paying Maggie to keep quiet about Malcolm. Aria wants Wesley to talk to his mother.  What is more Rosewood/DiLaurentis/Hastings than some good old fashioned hush money?

In the last scene, a black-gloved “A” maneuvers the jukebox. They hand the key to Room A to another black-gloved “A”. This suggest that “A” is more than one person.  Who loves a jukebox more than Ezra and his infamous B-26?  I think this was Ezra handing over the keys to Cece/Toby/Mona.  An adult with credit is required to lease an apartment.  I don’t care how savvy Cece is, she could barely talk to the girls when we saw flashbacks, but can somehow rent an apartment for the first time, in the outside world, alone? NO.

In 3x12, Aria sits in Ezra’s apartment. She seems on edge, wondering about how to tell Ezra about Maggie and her baby. Maggie unexpectedly shows up at his apartment, and recognizes Aria from her visit to her classroom. Ezra introduces them to each other. While Ezra is distracted at the door by another visitor, Aria asks Maggie why she’s here at Ezra’s. Maggie says she wanted to see how Ezra was doing. She then wants Aria to keep her son, Malcolm, a secret from Ezra until she figures out what is the best thing to do for her son. Aria protests at first, but Maggie says that there is more to the story than she knows, and that everyone has a secret, “Amy.” Aria reluctantly obliges as she watches Maggie and Ezra chat.   He has so many secrets its crazy.

This entire season, A has been trying to separate Emily from Paige, which seems as though A wants Emison together in the end.  However, what if Ezra just actually cares about Emily in his own sick way?   Ezra knows about how Paige and Alison hated each other, and that Paige tried to drown Emily.  He has surveillance on EVERYONE.  

In the Season 3A summer finale, 3x12, The Lady Killer, the girls, and in particular, Spencer, accuse Paige of being A.  Paige seems offended that the other girls think she is the new “A.” Then, Paige gets a text from “A,” telling her to go to Ali’s grave at the Rosewood Cemetery at 10pm or Emily gets hurt.  Aria, Spencer, and Hanna decide to tell their parents about Paige being “A.” “A” sends them a text: “Stand down, bitches. Play it my way and Emily stays safe.

If the girls tell their parents about Paige being A, an investigation could ensue that would reveal who A truly is.  A doesn’t want that.

“A” sends an email to Spencer, Hanna and Aria telling them to meet him/her at Alison’s grave at 10pm with Maya’s bag, without Emily. They get pictures of Spencer, Aria, and Hanna with a shovel near the Rosewood Cemetery on “that night,” from “A.” They conclude that Paige is trying to make the rest of them look bad while keeping Emily in the clear, and that by them bringing Maya’s bag to her at Ali’s grave, Paige can erase any proof of her killing Maya.  Why would Cece want this or care about Paige?  She wouldn’t.  Perhaps Ezra knows that Paige would try to stop Emily from continuing any involvement with A, and because of his sick obsession with Ali, he genuinely wants Emily to be with someone else.  Enter Lyndon James.  I believe that A didn’t do their research on him because A was too busy with the 50k from Jason and Bethany’s body.  This is evidenced when A calls Emily at the cabin and tells her to get out.  He is trying to protect her.  He even calls her and says in a distorted voice, “Emily, I owe you one,” because of Garrett’s release for Maya’s murder and the whole shitshow at the cabin.

At the end of the episode, “A” is in the lair again. “A” looks at a flyer for a Halloween Ghost Train Party in Rosewood on October 31st, and calls someone. “I’ll take two tickets for the Halloween train.”

WHEW!!! That was a doozy.  I will be continuing with the Halloween Episode and Season 3B later this week!  Leave any comments, clues, things to add in the replies!!!! xoxo, bitches

#pll #pll theories #pll spoilers #pll clues #pll theory #ezra fitz #aria montgomery #ezra is ad #uber a theories #uber a #anti ezra fitz #ezria #Ezra is a #pretty little liars

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The Best Ways To Combat A Receding Hairline

Next to losing ‘wood’, nothing is quite as terrifying to a man as losing his hair. A thick thatch has long, if erroneously, been associated with both masculinity and virility. A full head of hair is related to neither, of course, but that doesn’t stop men fretting about their follicles. So much so that a recent survey found that over 70 per cent of men worry about hair loss.At the end of the day, most of us would rather keep the hair we have – if only because it’s fun to have a hairstyle and reassuring to have something to keep your bonce warm in the winter.Hair Loss: The FactsProblem is, lots of things conspire to rob your scalp of its most precious asset. Male pattern baldness, the hereditary condition that’s responsible for 95 per cent of hair loss in men, will affect up to half us by the time we hit 50 and almost 40 per cent of men will have experienced some hair loss by the age of 35.Some men’s hair will begin to disappear at the crown; others will start to notice that hair at the front is receding; while some unfortunate guys will see both areas affected at the same time. “The pattern depends on which hair follicles are genetically programmed with receptors to DHT (dihydrotestosterone) – the hormone which triggers hair loss,” explains trichologist Sally-Ann Tarver from The Cotswold Trichology Centre and Theradome GB.“Where you start to lose your hair is down to the genes you inherited from your parents – and genes of both mother and father are inherited in male pattern baldness,” she says, putting to bed the myth that baldness is inherited solely from your mum’s side.Other factors like stress, rough handling and diet can take their toll on the thickness of your thatch too. “As well as male pattern baldness, men can suffer from Telogen Effluvium or ‘diffuse hair loss’, which is often due to lifestyle and health issues.” This can be caused by anything from stress and illness to poor diet and nutrient deficiency.A man can live without a quiff, of course, and a lack of hair never held back the likes of Patrick Stewart or Jason Statham. What’s more, women don’t find it the turn off men think it is either: in a recent survey by WatchMyWallet.co.uk 84 per cent of women claimed that hair loss would not affect how attracted they were to their partner. But if you’re not yet ready to embrace the pate, here’s everything you can do to thicken, disguise and style out thinning hair.How To Stop A Receding HairlineLuckily, there are things a man can do to, at the very least, slow down the hair loss process. “The key is to treat hair loss as soon as possible,” advises Tarver. “It’s much easier to retain hair or slow the progress down with treatment than to restore hair once it has been lost.”So whether you’ve a receding hairline or a burgeoning bald spot, here’s how to stay one step ahead of hair loss.Feed Your HeadAccording to Tarver, getting plenty of protein is key to a healthy head of hair. “Keratin, the sulphur-containing protein that hair is made of relies on dietary protein for its composition,” she says. “Thus a low protein diet will result in finer, weaker hair.” Men are pretty good at getting the protein they need but fall down when it comes to getting their five a day. If you consider mac and cheese a side dish, you may not be getting all the other essential nutrients that keep hair strong and healthy.Foods rich in B vitamins, zinc and iron (like breakfast cereals, liver and apricots) and silica (bananas and – handily – beer) are especially good for hair health. “People with hair loss caused by issues other than male pattern baldness are often deficient in vitamins B12,” says Tarver, who points out that a supplement may be especially important for vegetarians since dietary B12 can only be obtained from animal sources.If you’re worried your diet’s below par, think about popping a daily supplement aimed at promoting hair health like Wellman’s Hairfollic Man.Choose Your Styling WeaponsIf you have thinning hair, choosing the right styling products is crucial. “It’s worth avoiding heavy products like clays, gels and pomades and instead opting for mousse on wet hair and texturising powders on dry hair to finish,” says Georgie Wynes-Devlin of The Wild Hare barber in London, who uses Redken’s Full Effect Mousse to plump up hair and the same brand’s Powder Grip to style very fine hair.“Spray waxes are good for thinning hair too, as you can gently build up the amount of product you want.”Deal With DandruffDandruff isn’t just a danger to your rep – according to Tarver it can exacerbate hair loss too. “Dandruff is often seen alongside male pattern baldness and healthy hair cannot grow from an unhealthy scalp. So if you’re worried about hair loss, it’s a good idea to ensure your scalp remains as free from scale as possible,” says Tarver.To keep your scalp a flake-free zone, use a shampoo containing anti-dandruff agents like zinc pyrithione or ketoconazole and don’t be afraid to use them regularly. Many men worry frequent shampooing will accelerate hair loss because they spot stray hairs on the shower, but we naturally shed between 40-100 hairs a day and shampooing can actually help minimise hair loss by removing grease, grime and dead cells that can interfere with follicle function.Pack In The FagsAs if ashtray breath, cancer and honking clothes weren’t good enough reasons to pack in the ciggies, a study by National Taiwan University revealed that smoking also hastens hair loss in men. Researchers discovered that men who smoke more than 20 cigarettes a day are more than twice as likely to have moderate or severe hair loss than men who have never smoked or have quit.The boffins who conducted the study suspect that smoking may damage the blood vessels at the base of hair follicles, effectively starving your hair of nutrients.Regaine Your PrideThere are scores of snake oil-style treatments for hair loss on the market but Regaine is the only clinically proven over-the-counter treatment for hereditary hair loss. It works thanks to an active ingredient called minoxidil, which increases blood flow around the hair follicles and by stimulating and prolonging hair growth.It doesn’t work for everyone (Regaine themselves suggest giving up treatment if you’ve haven’t seen any results after using their Extra Strength Foam for 16 weeks) and it’s best to start treatment as soon as you notice hair is thinning, but it’s still the best everyday option on the market. The down side is that it’s expensive (a year’s supply of foam will set you back around £172) and you’ll be using it for life because the minute you stop, your hair loss will revert back to normal.The other option is Propecia: a prescription-only treatment in the shape of a tablet containing finasteride, which hinders the body’s ability to convert testosterone into dihydrotestosterone. It’s even more expensive than Regaine (a year’s supply will cost you over £350), you’ll have to take it for as long as you want hair, and known side effects include a reduced libido – which may knock your confidence even more than the hair loss.Try A TransplantWhen Wayne Rooney tweeted, “Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant”, back in 2011, he changed how men viewed hair transplants forever. In proudly outing himself on the follicle front he made having a transplant no more outlandish than having your teeth whitened. So mainstream are transplants now that according to a survey by Asda Pharmacy, 31 per cent of men under 35 are actively considering one.The most common treatment (and the one favoured by Rooney) is Follicular Unit Extraction: a minimally invasive procedure performed with a local anaesthetic where individual shafts of hair are taken from the sides and back of the head (or chest if need be) and are transplanted into existing, vacant hair follicles.The procedure itself takes anywhere between four and 16 hours to complete (thousands of individual hairs have to be re-homed after all), will cost you anywhere between £3,000 – £10,000+ depending on the number of grafts required, and occasionally repeat transplants are required for hairs that don’t take.The Best Hairstyles For A Receding HairlineIn the same way that dressing in dark colours and matte fabrics can disguise a little extra poundage, the right hairstyle can go a long way to disguising a follically-challenged thatch.If hair loss is a problem your first port of call should be your barber. “A skilled barber will conduct a thorough consultation to help you to understand how you can make the most of your existing hairstyle or suggest a restyle that absolutely owns that receding hairline,” says Tyler Peters, from the Shoreditch branch of barber chain Ruffians.Here are four universally recommended hairstyles for a receding hairline.The French CropA style that’s seen a resurgence in popularity in recent years, even with guys who don’t ‘need’ it, the French crop is the perfect style for combatting the ‘M’ shape a receding hairline creates at the front of your head.“Your barber will fade the back and sides down low before blending the top weight but the crux of this style is the fringe, which can be cut in a line then layered to give texture,” says Peters. “If your barber hasn’t already suggested it, style with a lightweight product that produces a messy yet stylised finish.”The Short Cut“This is an idea for those whose recession line hasn’t crept up too much and allows you a bit more versatility by maintaining a little length on the sides with a bit more on top,” says Peters.“Allowing for a little more length on top creates an almost inverted triangle look that positions the weight through the centre, making hair look fuller. Wear it rough and ready with a clay rather than slicked back with wet look products as they tend to reveal more of your scalp.”The Buzz Cut“If you’re heavily receding don’t be afraid to go short,” says Wynes-Devlin. “Leaving too much length can sometimes make the hair look thinner than it actually is.”If you want to avoid too-short a buzz cut she suggests asking your barber to scissor cut your hair instead. “Clippers can produce too harsh a cut sometimes, so it’s always best to do these things gradually.” Dropping the length towards the nape will provide a softer, more natural finish.The Close ShaveSometimes, the only way to deal with going thin on top is to accept defeat and embrace being bald. “If you’re going for a head shave, book in with a skilled barber confident with a cutthroat razor to take your hair to the scalp,” says Peters.“Ideally, your barber should cut down the existing hair to a minimum before applying an exfoliating scrub and soothing hot towels to open the pores and ensure a closer shave.”Tips For Dealing With A Receding HairlineIf you just looked in the mirror and noticed your hair isn’t quite as thick as it used to be, here are some quick ways to make it look a little fuller.Pump Up The VolumeBlow-drying instantly makes hair look fuller and thicker. Don’t BBQ your hair though – a medium heat setting will allow you to style without damaging hair’s structural proteins.Buy Now: £12.80Shampoo In Some ThicknessThickening shampoos work by coating the hair with special volumising polymers that make it appear thicker and fuller. The effects are temporary but every little helps, right?Buy Now: £7.95Disguise Your ProblemIf a small bald patch is a problem try disguising it with the help of electrostatically charged coloured fibres, which mesh with your real hair to fill in any noticeable gaps.Buy Now: £6.95Use Your FingersRepeatedly combing thin hair can make it look limp and flat whereas styling with your fingers adds volume and texture.Grow A BeardFacial hair is brilliant at drawing attention away from the top of the head and down towards the face. It’s a bit like pointing at the sky and asking “What’s that?” when you want to distract someone long enough to zip up your flies. Try growing a beard. Beards are badass. Source link

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