#No I haven’t read them yes I’ve owned them since borders was still a chain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonjour-rainycity · 3 years

Text

Double Heart | Chapter Nine ~ Cosima

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3476

Warnings: None

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**

A/n Sorry this was a little late! Happy reading :)

Translations: Mae govannen = well met! // Meleth nîn = my love

Two weeks after I woke in this strange world, we reach Imladris.

When Haldir tells me that the sparkling city in the valley is our destination, I can scarcely believe him. After endless days and nights riding through open country, to finally reach civilization, even if it’s not the civilization I’m used to, is so welcome I nearly cry with relief.

Four men on horseback race up the slope of the mountains to meet us. They wear heavy armor—more than what Haldir and the others wear—and carry tall spears. Their leader, fierce though he seems, takes my breath away. Even from here, I can see his face because it reflects an ethereal glow. His hair, which has to be spun gold, flows long down the back of his horse and glints in the sun. Whoever he is, he is no mere man.

“Elrond’s patrols,” I question, remembering someone mentioning them earlier.

“Yes,” Haldir responds, and I can hear a grin in his voice. “We have reached their outer borders. Congratulations, Cosima.” He twists to offer me a proud smile. “You have completed your first journey.”

I swallow, unable to keep myself from smiling back. Haldir can be so stoic at times that praise from him is completely unexpected. Warmth spreads through my chest.

The riders come to a halt in front of us and the one I assume to be their leader dismounts, striding confidently in our direction. Haldir slides off Faervel, approaching in a similar fashion. I take the horse’s reins in my hands, stroking his back affectionately. The horses’ height doesn’t bother me anymore and I’ve become much more confident in riding them in the past two weeks.

“Mae govannen, Haldir o Lórien!”

“Glorfindel.” Haldir clasps the man’s elbow jubilantly. They converse in that language I haven’t heard since I arrived — the others have been speaking solely in English for my and Alex’s benefit — and it’s jarring to hear the unfamiliar sounds. It serves as a reminder that, though I have allowed myself to become comfortable here, too comfortable, maybe, this is not my world. This is somewhere different.

Haldir turns over his shoulder and extends a hand in my direction. I catch my name and Alexander’s among the strange syllables and offer the man—Glorfindel, Haldir called him—a smile in greeting. He approaches, stunning golden hair shining in the light of the sunset, and bows elegantly. A laugh bubbles from my throat—startled by the action. Vaguely, I remember Rumil bowing to me when we first met. Whereas his motivation had been to make a joke, Glorfindel seems totally genuine, the gesture one of respect and welcome. He performs the same movement for Alex.

“Welcome, lost humans and my elven friends. Come, I shall keep you waiting no longer. Elrond is eager to see you and I am sure you are equally ready for proper food and a full night’s rest.” With that, he strides back to his horse and mounts.

I scoot higher on Faervel’s back to give Haldir room and hand him the reins. The horses must sense how close we are to extended rest, because they race faster than they did the entire journey. Despite my new skill, I have to grip Haldir extra tight to make up for the frantic pace and only being able to use one arm. Though the mountain slope is steep and the city surely has to be miles away, we arrive in less than an hour.

Streams of blue and white cascade above us, falling every way I turn and crashing down below. The air smells impossibly sweet and fresh — perhaps due to the flowers that bloom all around. The rays from the sinking sun, brilliant orange and gold, mingle with the water in the falls and, just as Haldir promised, send gently curving rainbows over our path. I let out a breath, completely stunned.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Haldir’s voice holds a reverence I’ve never heard before, but it is aptly placed. I could not fathom regarding this city with anything less than the utmost respect and admiration.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. Even in my homeworld, I—” I blink, unable to comprehend the etherial nature of my surroundings. “I would have remembered it. This…”

“I know.” Theres a soft, almost vulnerable quality to his voice that caresses the phrase. I can imagine his eyes are alight like mine, taking in the splendor of the city even though he’s seen it many times before. I’d wager this is a sight one never gets used to.

Glorfindel pulls his horse to a stop before an arching, narrow bridge.

Oh no.

I suck in a sharp breath, gripping onto Haldir with both my injured and uninjured arm. My wound stings, but it is preferable to suffer this momentary pain than to loosen my grip and go plummeting off the edge.

Haldir chuckles, the vibrations rumbling deep in his chest. “The bridge is only the beginning. Look ahead—part of the main city is suspended on pillars.”

My stomach churns and I feel my heart race. By the way my arms constrict around him, Haldir seems to figure out that he has not employed the wisest strategy. His voice softens and he squeezes my hand like he did earlier, after the attack. “Faervel knows the way. Neither he nor I will let you fall.”

I take a deep breath. It’s either the bridge and the safety of Imladris or the orc-infested mountains. And, I suppose, Haldir has gotten us this far. Minor injuries aside, we survived a heavily out-numbered attack relatively unscathed. I trusted him then and I can trust him now. “Fine.”

He chuckles again but makes a big show of lining Faervel up with what will be the middle of the bridge. I resist the urge to elbow him in the ribs — armor covers them anyway. It would hurt me more than it would him.

Glorfindel calls out in that language again, then directs his horse onto the bridge. The three other mounted guards follow. Then, so gently I barely register the change, Faervel steps from the lush grass to the stone of the bridge. Water roars and tosses below us, drowning out any words the others might say. And drowning you if Faervel doesn’t keep straight. That is, if the impact doesn’t kill you first. I fight the urge to whimper and keep my eyes locked straight ahead. Almost to the end.

The bridge is mercifully short and soon we are on much surer foundations, having crossed into the city. While the water still cascades around us, its noise has subsided, almost like it’s been muted. In its place, soft, lyrical music fills the air. Harps. Once we are far from the bridge, I look around. The buildings are made of stone yet seem a natural part of the valley. Chains of flowers spill from every archway, peek between small cracks in the stone, weave into the intricate designs in the masonry. Trees, the same ones that welcomed us at the border, make a home in the city, growing where they wish — even if that means rising alongside a fabricated pillar.

Haldir speaks softly, hesitantly, almost like he doesn’t want to interrupt my exploration of the city. “Is it worth the bridge?”

I realize we’ve come to a stop in front of a large dais backed by a constant stream of blue and frothy white. It’s like we’re in the waterfall. “Definitely,” I exhale. Though, I have no desire to cross that bridge again any time soon.

A tall man steps onto the dais. His face is kind and, though the edges of his mouth and forehead are lined with creases, he could be any age. He seems altogether outside of time. His eyes hold wisdom, more than I could ever hope to collect, and I know this must be the Elrond my friends talked about. He could be no other.

He spreads his hands and smiles warmly. “Welcome. Our friends from Lothlórien and the humans who accompany them, welcome to Imladris. We have dinner prepared for you. Leave your horses with the guards — they will be well cared for.”

I believe him. He could probably tell me the sky is green or Faervel is a mouse and I wouldn’t question it.

And if he told you that you’re in a different world?

I gulp and push the weighted thought away.

Haldir swings his left leg to meet his right and slides off Faervel’s back. As always, he keeps a gentle hold on me until my feet are securely on the ground, then clasps his hands behind his back in his most favored stance.

I peek behind me to locate Alexander. He shifts from foot to foot and darts his eyes suspiciously around the room. With his short hair, lanky stature, and clear discomfort, he looks so out of place here. With a start, I realize that I must, too. Though the physical differences are certainly apparent, there’s just something about these men…an otherworldliness I had somehow gotten used to during our journey. But here, in this unreal city surrounded by others who are so clearly not men…For the first time, I truly, honestly consider that they might not be human.

Rumil appears on my right side, practically beaming with excitement. “What do you think?”

I exhale on shaky breath, my recent realization having left me feeling a little lightheaded. “I think it’s a lot to take in. It’s gorgeous, though.”

At my left, Haldir eyes me curiously. He heard my reaction upon reaching Imladris and is probably wondering why I’m downplaying it to Rumil. Truth be told, I just don’t have the energy to take much more this evening. A good meal and sleep will hopefully help.

“Orophin!”

I tilt my head around Rumil to find the source of the delighted shriek and find myself staring at the most enchanting woman I’ve ever seen.

Her hair, coiled and dark, tumbles down her back in tight curls, brushing the back of her legs. Her espresso skin shines in the nearly-faded light, almost as if it has a luminescence of its own — perhaps a result of the joy that radiates from her. She wears a long, ruby-colored gown that sweeps gently over the stairs as she practically throws herself down them, sprinting in our direction.

“Meleth nîn!” Orophin calls back to her, breaking from our informal line and rushing to whom I assume to be his fiancée.

Indulgent chuckles run through our group as the two collide, gripping each other in a fierce hug. They pull back almost immediately, pressing their foreheads together and just staring into each other’s eyes. The action seems much more intimate than if they had fallen to the floor in a passionate embrace, and I avert my eyes, feeling the need to give them privacy.

“Come on,” Haldir whispers, ghosting his fingers over my elbow. “They will join us later.”

Elrond leads us through open-air hallways. Every way we turn seems to offer a view of the waterfalls and brings with it a light, fresh scent. He takes us right, bringing us through one final archway and into what looks to be a dining room. In the center is a long rectangular table surrounded by ten matching chairs. The table is already stacked with food — breads, salads, fruits, and various kinds of meat that smell absolutely mouthwatering.

Elrond smiles invitingly, entering the room and stopping behind the chair at one of the table’s heads. “I expected you would be weary this evening and would wish to dine in private. Please, sit and help yourselves.”

I follow Rumil and Haldir, hoping I’m not violating any social rules I am unaware of by choosing a random seat in the middle. Before I can pull the chair back, Haldir steps in to complete the task, gesturing for me to take a seat. I have to hold back my amusement at the antiquated gesture — perhaps it’s a custom here. He does seem more formal than Alex and I are.

Haldir and Rumil take the chairs on either side of me and, before long, Alex appears at my opposite. I smile at him. Given our recent arguments and the fact that I don’t really know if we’re friends in this life, I’m not quite sure where we stand. But he returns the gesture which allows me to breathe a sigh of relief. He’s familiar, at least. Baranor sits between Alex and Elrond and immediately the two healers engage in deep discussion.

I distract myself with the food and soon have more piled on my plate than I could possibly hope to eat, but I can certainly try. Before long, Orophin and the woman from earlier join us and are welcomed jovially.

Orophin beams, gesturing to the woman at his side. “Lavandil, these are the humans I was telling you about. Cosima and Alexander, this is my betrothed, Lavandil.”

Lavandil sets her excited gaze on both myself and Alex. “Hello, it’s so nice to meet you. Welcome to Imladris! We are pleased to have you here.” Her voice is warm, welcoming, and I find it impossible not to smile along with her, distressed though I am at Orophin’s clear distinction of me as ‘human’.

Orophin pulls out a chair for Lavandil and sits between her and Alex, who looks ridiculously uncomfortable in the presence of so many of these…humans. Though, I must admit, my resolve to call them that is steadily weakening.

Minutes later, Glorfindel enters the room accompanied by a demure man called Lindir. Haldir and Glorfindel fall into a spirited debate about patrol strategies and border security. Rumil piles something on my plate that he claims I have to try. He’s not wrong — it’s really good!

“So, Cosima, Alexander.” Lavandil props her elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand, looking at us with interest. “Orophin says they happened upon you both near the river and that you haven’t any memories?”

All eyes converge on me and Alex. I don’t trust him to be polite, so I hurry to answer her question.

“Yes. We remember each other and tiny snippets of our home, but besides that, nothing.”

“How strange,” she muses, looking fascinated. “That must have been so shocking. How are you adjusting?”

I exhale slowly, playing for time. How am I adjusting? The weight of everyone’s eyes feels almost crushing. “It’s definitely a lot to get used to,” I say diplomatically. “But we’re really lucky to have run into good people who were willing to help.”

Despite his feelings towards our companions, Alex wisely remains silent. It would do us no good to offend our hosts.

Lavandil giggles, the sound bright and cheerful. “I’m glad they were helpful and not rude. I know Haldir has a tendency to interrogate first and help later. He’s slow to trust.” She shoots Haldir a teasing grin, to which he merely rolls his eyes, but his cheek twitches like he’s fighting a smile.

I try to suppress a grin. “Well, he wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but he calmed down quickly enough.” I purse my lips, contemplating. “But now that I think about it, no one really left me unattended or gave me a weapon even though the trip was dangerous. Hold on, do any of you actually trust me?” I lean back in my chair and cross my arms, though I raise an eyebrow at Haldir to let him know I’m only kidding.

He shakes his head, huffing in mock exasperation. “We trust you now but at the start, how was I to know you weren’t some sort of spy?”

“A spy!” I huff. “I’m hurt. But moving on. Later, once you decided I was not a spy, how come no one gave me a knife or anything?”

Rumil chortles. “Have you seen the lines of your mending? You’re more likely to impale yourself than an enemy.”

I grumble indignantly. He’s right, but that doesn’t mean I have to tell him so.

Haldir quirks an eyebrow. “Would you like to learn? I can teach you.”

I think on this. Hmmm…do I need to learn how to use a weapon? Probably. But do I want to? Surprisingly, I find that the answer is yes. This world is obviously dangerous—I got a very real reminder of that just a few days ago—and I want to be capable in it. Haldir or the others might not always be there to defend me—I should learn how to protect myself.

“Yeah, I would. Thank you!”

Haldir nods, the edges of his mouth pulling into an expression of grim determination. I quickly discover why.

He’s psyching himself up, I realize with a quiet laugh.

He inclines his head towards Alex. “And you, Alexander? I can teach you as well.” By the gravity in his tone, it is clear Haldir’s offer is real, but begrudging.

Alex takes a bite of fruit. “No thank you.”

That’s to be expected. Though Haldir was angry earlier and probably overreacted, he did make a good point when he said that Alex has yet to make an effort to adjust to life here. He’s stayed on the edge of things since the moment we encountered him, always keeping one foot out the door.

A voice warns me that, rather than criticizing Alex, I should have been doing the same.

Elrond motions for an attendant to refill my glass of water. “Baranor says you were attacked in the mountains? That must have been very frightening.”

Flashes of grotesque beasts and shining swords enters my mind and I shrink away from the images. I know we’re safe inside these halls but the fear is still there, lurking at the edges of my thoughts.

Haldir cuts in and I realize I have been silent for longer than is polite. “We were attacked, yes, by about eighteen orcs, wouldn’t you say?”

Rumil and Orophin both nod — I didn’t even know they had a count. I had been focused trying to dodge the blades and arrows. To me, it seemed there was an endless stream of the monsters. Haldir continues. “We killed them all and had no trouble for the rest of our journey. It does make me wander though,” his eyes dart to mine and then quickly away. “Such a large party so close to your borders? Is that common these days?”

“Yes.” Elrond nods gravely. “We have seen an increase in scouting parties and attacks. Just last month, a fully armed company of forty attempted to breach one of our southeastern border stations.”

“No,” Orophin breathes, gripping Lavandil’s hand tightly, a stricken look of horror stretching his face.

She brushes his concerns aside. “Oh, I’m fine. I was up north visiting my mother at the time. I didn’t even know the attack had occurred until I returned home.”

Orophin’s reaction worries me. I lay my fork on my plate, appetite fading as fear gnaws at the edges of my gut. “That’s unusual?”

Haldir shakes his head. “It is not unusual to encounter orcs at the borders, but an armed, prepared, planned attack of such a large number is…telling.” He avoids my gaze.

My body runs cold. “Telling of what?”

“Sauron,” Elrond says simply.

“That name means nothing to them,” Orophin reminds him, still looking at his love. He holds so much concern in his eyes—and a measure of fear—and I wonder just how big of a threat this is. Is Lavandil in danger? Is Elrond? Are we?

Elrond elaborates. “Sauron is a being of great power and even greater evil. He was defeated once before, but whispers of his presence have been heard throughout the realm. I believe he is growing in power again, gathering his armies. He is preparing.”

I drop my hands into my lap, gripping the edges of the chair in an attempt to find an anchor. Across from me, Alex has gone pale.

I don’t have to ask what this being is preparing for. It’s obvious. He’s preparing for war.

If the orcs weren’t bad enough, now we’ve got an evil power looming over us all? I wonder…is my homeworld safer than this?

Glorfindel raises his glass of deep red wine. He holds a steely, almost feral glare in his golden eyes and, suddenly, I am very, very afraid of him. “As quickly as he rises, so shall he fall.”

All aside from Alex and me raise their goblets, a forceful, “hear, hear” resounding through the room of stone. My eyes meet Alex’s. He raises an eyebrow as if to say, what do you want to do?

And I know my answer.

I want to go home.

A/n Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Let me know if you would like a tag :)

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

46 notes · View notes

mannatea · 4 years

Text

Fireside Dreams, a Rose of Versailles ‘fic

Words: 5,176 Summary: Oscar was in love. Pairing/Character: Oscar/André Extra Info: This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net back in 2008. It is a full rewrite. Rating: I’d say T bordering on M, but it’s rated M on AO3 just to be safe. :) Genre: Romance and Friendship with a dash of Angst. Kind of character-study-ish, too.

Notes, if anyone’s interested in them.

All right, so...if you read the original version of this story, you’ll notice the rewrite is...very different.

A few little things:

I use the French manga as my usual reference, so you’ll see a lot of lines quoted that might not match up perfectly with the Japanese-to-English translations that many people are used to. There is one line I did pull from the Japanese though, I believe it was: “One eye isn’t too much to sacrifice for you, Oscar.”

The French version says, instead, “I’ll always be ready to sacrifice an eye for you, Oscar.” I like this too, but I don’t think it really conveys that deep emotional impact that the scene was supposed to have on the reader. Rather, it almost sounds goofy (since he only has one other eye to sacrifice)!

I guess I could have gone with a loose translation of the French (maybe, “If it’s for you, Oscar, I’ll sacrifice my other eye without complaint.”) but I wanted something the audience would be familiar with.

I do believe the intent of the original line is supposed to convey: 1) I’d do it again, 2) No regrets, and 3) harken back to André’s promise to put his life on the line for Oscar some day...even though the eye thing was a complete accident in the manga.

The lines for the lips I know are my creative translation of the French manga.

I feel like I shouldn’t HAVE to put translations for the French in here, but...I dunno. Why did I put them in the story like some kind of ouiaboo? Because there are some words that just don’t have the same meaning in English, my dudes.

Mon Dieu = My God!

d’accord = okay, yes, [agreement]

Whenever Oscar tells André to do anything, in the French manga, this is how he responds. I could have just written “okay,” but I can’t help but feel that it’s too informal/not respectful enough, and “yes ma’am” (which is closer to how I read it) just feels too formal.

Je t’aime = I love you. André shouts it over and over in The Incident Scene, which is what I’m referring to by using it.

I actually hate the title (“Fireside Dreams”) but I’ve known it as this for so long I couldn’t change it.

I changed the ending A LOT for reasons I’ll talk about below, but...I kept the cheesy last line. Well, I rewrote it, but I kept the general feeling of corniness that existed in the original!

------------------------------

Goals when writing this were as follows:

Try for a tone that felt as if it could have been part of the manga.

Eliminate André’s POV (more on this later).

Deep-dive into Oscar’s POV.

Treat the story like a fanficcified Character Study piece.

The manga tone thing was frustrating, because the manga lends itself to this really flowery, romantic language that I don’t actually think Oscar would use very often (mostly because the entire series tells us that she is Not That Kind of Person and I don’t appreciate her suddenly Becoming That Person Because Love). A lot of the fandom will disagree with me on this point, and that’s okay. I tried to strike more of a balance where Oscar thinks some of these types of things, but says Logical Oscar Things.

André’s POV originally came in when he did: at Oscar’s door. It also transitioned suddenly into third person omniscient from third person limited, aaaaand when I reread it...I didn’t like it. I felt like it made it harder to follow! The original was supposed to be more of Oscar’s story anyway, so I just committed to it in the rewrite. Overall I do feel this was better for the story, but I lost some lines I really liked from the original that were in André’s POV! Who knows, though, maybe they’ll make an appearance in another story, someday!

Regarding this story as a character study, though... Okay, I’ll try not to let this get long, because I haven’t eaten all day and it’s already getting late here, but I want to address this.

Something that always stuck with me about the manga was how Oscar confessed her love to André quite early on compared to the anime, and how it felt to have their relationship evolve before the end of the series (when she asks André to marry her).

1. I am always ALWAYS ALWAYS a sucker for the woman to ask the man to marry them, ESPECIALLY in period dramas, and

2. See the image below.

Oscar as a character has always interested me greatly, and been highly #relatable, but on my last rewatch I feel like I understand her better than I ever did as an early 20-something.

Despite being in a relationship with André when she asks him to make her his wife, she’s still afraid of actually following through with the act! That’s not something we get to see in the media very often, so I enjoyed getting a peek at it in Rose of Versailles.

Additionally, I felt that Oscar’s whole romance arc was kind of its own character study for her in the canon. She spends most of her life being efficient and logical. Love confuses her. Feelings are difficult to navigate and express. She would not have defended André so passionately I think if she did not love him, but when faced with those feelings she doesn’t even tell him she cares. If the author wanted to make Oscar astute/in tune with her own feelings, she could have written that scene a hundred different ways, but instead we get “I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Nanny! Hahaha!” Part of Oscar’s issue is most assuredly due to the way she was raised, but I feel it didn’t create that character trait so much as it expanded upon it.

Anyway, something difficult to put into words is Oscar’s wondering in the story about being “broken.” I’m writing this from a very specific perspective, but I feel like Oscar’s feeling is relatable to many different types of people. I mean, raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like you were broken, if there was something deeply wrong with you. Now raise it higher if you feel that way and yet...you’re also pretty satisfied with yourself and like who you are, and you don’t really wish to change.

Oscar’s in an interesting position. She’s a woman who identifies as a woman, but she lives as a man. She wears men’s clothes, she does men’s work, she has men’s hobbies, and she’s expected to publicly Act Like a Man. She’s good at these things. She enjoys these things. She delights in her own skill, and has a lot of fun springing the fact that she’s a woman on poor unsuspecting people (like Rosalie, lol) while also shooting down things typically associated with being a woman (like when she glared at André for suggesting she had an understanding of something because of women’s intuition). It’s easy to understand Oscar’s POV: she wants to be free to be herself, and that means picking and choosing from gender stereotypes as she sees fit, identifying herself as what she is and what she is not.

At the end of the day, Oscar is...Oscar...which is how I imagine André feels about it.

I’m sure if you read the story, and you went out of your way to read this far, you probably have a personally complex view of Oscar yourself, so please don’t feel as if my view of her has to match yours. Everyone will read her a little differently!

I wanted to explore the confusion that Oscar feels. The confusion that makes her put on a dress even though she isn’t comfortable in one, the confusion of falling for someone you already knew from the beginning was unattainable (though I didn’t go into detail on this particular point), the difficulty in expressing feelings when you’ve been raised to not do that, and the understanding that different does not mean broken.

Oscar is not broken. You are not broken. I am not broken.

------------------------------

One last note about this story, and it’s related to The Incident Scene. I’m choosing to interpret it in my own way, so if it’s different than yours, I hope my interpretation wasn’t too jarring!

I look at the scene, particularly in the manga, to be kind of a Domino Effect of less-than-stellar choices. Oscar tries to communicate her feelings but does a very poor job of it, and in the process hurts the person she’s trying to communicate with. As a result, he makes a bad choice and hurts her in turn. I don’t feel that any of the hurt was intentional (these two people love each other, after all), but circumstances have put them into positions where some kind of hurt was inevitable.

André undoubtedly would have been rejected by Oscar no matter when he confessed (just because she wouldn’t be mentally capable of processing it quickly enough to spare him), but he chose to confess to an Oscar 1) as part of an emotional outburst/explosion, and 2) physically.

Oscar is not used to Intimate physical contact, and understandably freaks out. She’s also not used to André as a Passionate Person. He’s always been so mellow! It’s frightening to her on multiple levels.

NOTHING EXCUSES ANDRE, BY THE WAY! Taking his frustration and sorrow and fear and emotion out on Oscar was terrible.

But context is important, I think, to understand how manga!Oscar forgives him before he even leaves her rooms. André’s outburst was never about him being horny, or him wanting to be intimate with Oscar. If you look closely I think it’s clear that it’s a chain of André trying to communicate to her in turn, and failing repeatedly until he rips her shirt (that he’s already holding onto)—something I don’t believe he meant to do, or he wouldn’t feel such immediate shame for it.

It was an outburst of fear that she was abandoning him. It was an explosion of all the love he legally wasn’t allowed to feel for years of his life. It was frustration and sorrow over seeing the person he loves best denying Who She Is in the face of an unrequited crush.

I never felt that André was insisting she was a woman instead of the man she wanted to be so much as he was insisting that Oscar Is Oscar, and she cannot change that, and shouldn’t change it out of fear or embarrassment AS WELL AS SAYING, “You are who you are and I LOVE YOU FOR THAT! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! PLEASE HEAR ME AND DON’T HURT YOURSELF BY TRYING TO BE SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT!”

Unfortunately André fails to speak plainly enough and the whole thing Backfires. (Now you can consider how he was raised to speak to his betters.)

I know all of the above wasn’t necessary to read the story (or even afterward), but I thought it would assist if anyone read my ‘fic and came away from it wondering if they’d read/watched a completely different version of The Incident.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I sure hope you leave a comment over on AO3, since you can do so anonymously, and Feedback Is Life!! ♥

#rose of versailles #berubara #berusaiyu no bara #mannafics

25 notes · View notes

letterboxd · 4 years

Photo

How I Letterboxd #3: Dave Vis

If you are one of the thousands of Letterboxd completists attempting to log every film on our official top 250, you have Dave Vis to thank for keeping that list current. He tells us why he adopted ownership of the list, how he felt when Parasite “dethroned” The Godfather, the curious case of A Dog’s Will, and several Dutch filmmakers worthy of discovery.

You wear your tenure proudly on your profile (“Member since 12/11/2011”). How did you come across Letterboxd way back then? I joined in the beta days when I got an invitation in November 2011 from a good friend who knew I was into film. Up to this date, I have no idea how she got a beta invitation for a movie geek website from New Zealand, but I’m happy she did!

Here’s the $49 question: How do you Letterboxd? I joined because I found it useful to keep track of everything I watched. At that point, I was probably still ticking off films from IMDb’s Top 250, and Letterboxd was a cool way to make other lists and see how I was progressing. When I started using the site more often, I also got to follow more users and enjoyed reading their takes on films. I don’t follow a lot of people, just a few that I know in real life and some other early adopters of the site whose opinions of film I got to value.

Talk us through your profile favorites. What spoke to you about these four films? The pragmatic reason for these four is that they were the last films I watched that got full marks from me. So the four favorites on my profile keep changing as I come across more films that I think deserve five stars. About the current ones: Jaws, of course, is an absolute classic, maybe even Spielberg’s greatest. How he creates that much tension with minimal exposition is masterful. Blade Runner 2049 baffled me, especially on an aesthetic level. I love how the story slowly unravels in probably one of the best world-building efforts of the last couple of years. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring doesn’t need much explanation, I think. Peter Jackson did what was generally thought impossible and in a way that had me walking out of the cinema in awe of the spectacle and production design. Last but not least, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. I’m a huge fan of the Studio Ghibli films and this one, [as well as] being the studio’s unofficial first, is probably my favorite. You can just tell that they worked years to get Hayao Miyazaki’s life’s work to the big screen.

Let’s get down to brass tacks: for the past six and a half years, you’ve been running the Official Letterboxd Top 250, one of our most popular and important lists. What prompted you to start the list? Did you think you’d be keeping it going this long? At least part of the credit goes to someone else on Letterboxd, because even my list is a cloned one! A great deal of thanks goes to a member called The Caker Baker, who sadly isn’t part of the community anymore, for having the idea of doing this list even before me. On the exact day Letterboxd introduced a sorting option by average rating on the Films page, he created the first top 250 list.

I decided to clone that list [Dave has archived it here], because I wanted to filter out the documentaries, shorts and miniseries. As long as I am interested in film and won’t have completed the list, I do see myself keeping it. I feel the overall quality of the list is outstanding and for my taste and film-watching experience it’s probably the best combination of blockbuster hits, timeless Hollywood classics, non-English spoken gems, and some pretty obscure entries.

What’s involved in keeping the top 250 up-to-date? What’s the hardest thing about it? Have you ever found the responsibility a burden—your ankle chained to Letterboxd each week? (We’re grateful!) These days it isn’t much of a bother at all, actually. I’m still so grateful for you guys introducing the ability to sort lists by average rating when editing them a while back. That was a huge relief, I can tell you! And apart from the odd comment when I’m a bit late on my weekly update or when I’m on a well-deserved holiday (yes, even the ankle chain comes off once in a while), I don’t feel like it’s a burden at all.

Let’s unpack it a bit. What are the best films you’ve discovered because of the list? Shoutout to my choices: A Special Day, Harakiri and The Man Who Sleeps. Harakiri is an excellent choice! If it wasn’t for Letterboxd’s top list, I would probably not even know about it today, although it also cracked IMDb’s top 250 last year. What a beautiful film. If I have to name two other, one would be The Cranes Are Flying. I’ve rarely seen a film about war being depicted so beautifully. The other is It’s Such a Beautiful Day, the animation by Don Hertzfeldt about a stick figure you get to care deeply about in a time span of just over an hour. Very different films that, without Letterboxd, the chances are next to zero that I would have checked either of them out. Joining a Kickstarter to finance my own Blu-ray edition of the latter was special too.

Béla Tarr’s 1994 masterpiece ‘Sátántangó’.

So, what’s your percentage-seen of the top 250? Which films rank highest on your list of shame? Are there any that you don’t think you’ll ever watch? At this moment I’m at 175 of 250, so 70 percent. I rarely consider films as being on a ‘list of shame’, but as I scroll through the unseen ones, there are a few that stand out. La Dolce Vita and Sátántangó [Editor’s note: recently re-released in 4K, nudge nudge] are ones that I feel I should have watched by now. Both are magnum opuses from legendary foreign filmmakers. Don’t really know why I haven’t though, but all in good time. Any that I think I’ll never watch? There’s not much I wouldn’t watch, but some are just so daunting in their runtime, that I’m not sure if I will ever feel up to the task (yes, La Flor, I’m looking at you). Probably also the reason I never popped Sátántangó in.

Has the way Letterboxd’s membership has changed and grown affected what’s in the top 250 in any interesting or unexpected ways? That’s not a very easy question to answer, because different people will be surprised about different things. However, you do see a trend—surprising or not—of traditional western cinema classics giving way to more non-English language films doing well on the list. Asian and Brazilian films have skyrocketed to great heights, often at the expense of western classics. Films that are traditionally doing great at IMDb, such as Pulp Fiction or The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, were in Letterboxd’s top ten for a long time, but have both dropped out of the top twenty. Beloved classics among film critics such as Citizen Kane, Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans and Casablanca aren’t even in the top 100 anymore.

We now have a top ten with three Japanese films, one Taiwanese, one Russian, one Brazilian and a South Korean film at the very top. The only English spoken films left there are the two Godfathers and 12 Angry Men. I do tend to suspect that the growing community causes more diversity while also fuelling the more traditional moviegoers to broaden their interests. I personally think that’s a great development.

How did you feel when Parasite overtook The Godfather to become Letterboxd’s highest-rated film of all time? Do you think it’ll ever sink at this point? To say I was surprised is quite the understatement. For something to even come close to The Godfather’s record borders on sacrilege, let alone dethroning it. What you usually see is that new movies with overly positive reviews enter the list’s higher ranks with a bang, but when they are introduced to a bigger crowd, they slowly descend. For example, fellow acclaimed Best Picture nominees 12 Years A Slave, Her, Call Me By Your Name and Roma all peaked in the top twenty and only Call Me By Your Name is still in the list, at number 232 for now.

In these days of ready availability it is extremely hard to create something that has such a large following. That’s why this takeover by Parasite is so extraordinary. Seeing it rise day-by-day—even after the masses took it in—was something I didn’t think possible. I, for one, am very slow to watch new films, so when I got to watch it, it was already in first position. Safe to say my expectation level was through the roof, which probably wasn’t really fair. While I thought it was an excellent film, I personally wouldn’t rank it among my favorites. However, it’s not only the highest-ranked film on Letterboxd, but also the most popular one [a measure of the amount of activity for a film, regardless of rating]! So don’t expect to see it sink lower any time soon.

The top 250 is home to the largest comment section on the platform. Congrats! What’s monitoring that mammoth thread like? Thank you! Although that’s hardly an achievement on my part. I have to be honest, I don’t read everything in the comments section anymore. I try to keep up as much as possible, in order to respond to people who have an actual question. However, when I sign in in the morning and see dozens of new notifications, most probably about A Dog’s Will being in the top ten or about recency bias or about objective quality versus subjective quality, I let it pass me by every so often.

What is your take on A Dog’s Will’s rise to Letterboxd stardom? (At the time of writing, the 2000 Brazilian film from director Guel Arraes holds the number eight spot in the top 250.) Ah, there it is: the elephant in the room… My honest answer is a politically correct one, but also the truth: I haven’t seen it yet, so it’s impossible to pass judgment. However, from the comments section on the top 250, it seems clear that there are two camps: the Brazilians, who adore the film and continually claim the importance it in their cultural heritage. And there’s the other group, mostly non-Brazilians of course, who think it’s a fine film at best, but in their opinion not deserving of a top-ten spot. I’m quite impartial: if the statistics say that it is one of the best-rated films of the Letterboxd community, why would it not deserve to be there? I am curious though if more non-Brazilians will see it and if so, if that will have a significant effect on its rating. We can only wait and see.

Are there any films you’re surprised to have stayed in the list for so long? Conversely, what are some films that we’ll be surprised to hear have never made the list? If I have to name one film that I’m surprised about, it’s one I haven’t seen yet: Paddington 2. Every time I scroll past it, I find myself asking: “wow, this one still in?” It’s probably because I haven’t seen it, but it always strikes me as an odd one. I really have to seek it out some time. Some films that might shock people never having made it… Well, if you look at IMDb’s list for reference, you could say it’s shocking that a film like Forrest Gump never made it onto the list, but that might not be as much of a shock to Letterboxd members. Other popular crowd pleasers that never made it include E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Gladiator, all of Disney’s non-Pixar animated classics, and one of the films that also sparked my interest in movies, The Usual Suspects.

Dave has not seen ‘Paddington 2’.

I’ve actually been working hard on completing the list during quarantine and I finished it yesterday. Has anyone else gotten to 100 percent yet or am I the first? I have no idea, to be honest! There will probably be others who have, but I wouldn’t be able to name one. I suspect Jakk might have reached 100 percent at some point.

My completist streak will need a new avenue. What are your next most essential top lists? If you ever feel up for a challenge, I recommend Top10er’s 1001 Greatest Movies of All Time. He combined the average ratings of critics and users from IMDb, Rotten Tomatoes, Metacritic and Letterboxd, and then weighted and tweaked the results with general film data from several services. I have no idea how, but it’s a terrific list. Also, the directors’ favorites lists that are on Letterboxd are awesome. Edgar Wright’s 1,000 favorites and Guillermo del Toro’s recommendations are especially worth your while.

The top 250 list is the tip of the iceberg for the lists on your account. What is it you enjoy about keeping ranked lists? It’s a compulsion. I just really enjoy making lists, ranking films by certain directors, franchises or studios. Not really useful, mostly just fun to do! And I’m not the only one, it seems. Although, of course, lists like the Letterboxd Top 250 will always be an inspiration for finding well-rated films I haven’t seen yet.

Which films got you hooked on cinema? I do have a few titles that were important in terms of my film-watching development. Films like Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Jurassic Park came out when I was an early teenager and those were the ones luring me to the cinema to see and experience things you just couldn’t in the real world, both with groundbreaking special effects—I’m a sucker for those. Not much later, titles like The Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction were popular and that’s probably around the time that IMDb’s list got my attention. That top 250 gets a lot of criticism, but the overall quality is fine and for me it was the perfect step in broadening my film-watching.

So, for a long time I watched a lot of films on that list and went to the cinema for your usual blockbusters, probably until Letterboxd arrived. That’s when I started watching the artsier stuff and foreign cinema of which, of course, all classics eluded me up till then. It was films like Seven Samurai, Persona and Werckmeister Harmonies that sparked that particular period. Now I just watch everything that comes my way that seems interesting or entertaining, from the new Marvel instalment to classic Godard.

Tell us about the one and only movie you’ve given a half-star. Ha, that’s an odd one… Once there was a challenge on the site that you could ask a fellow member to pick the next ten films for them to watch. I participated once and, of course, there would be underseen gems or personal favorites on that list, but also one or two that would be almost unwatchable. In my list that was Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. If that title alone doesn’t give away how bad it was, watching the first five minutes will.

In your opinion, what’s the most underrated film according to Letterboxd average ratings? One that comes to mind, which was in the top 250 once, but has dropped substantially in the last few years, is Gravity. I also have a list where I collect all the films that were once in Letterboxd’s top 250 and it’s at the very bottom there. For me, seeing that film in a theater is what cinema is all about—finding new ways to immerse your audience into a movie experience they have never had before. Oh, did I mention I’m a sucker for special effects?

Dave is a sucker for special effects, including those in Alfonso Cuarón‘s ‘Gravity’ (2013).

As a Dutchman, please educate us: what are the greatest Dutch films people should see? The Netherlands doesn’t really have a thriving movie industry that brings its films across borders. If I have to give the essential tip, it would be Spoorloos, which was remade starring Kiefer Sutherland and Sandra Bullock and was not half as good. Other than that I would recommend Paul Verhoeven’s early work, such as Soldaat van Oranje and Turks Fruit, and the two Dutch films that won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, 1986’s De Aanslag and 1997’s Karakter. And to top it off, I want to mention two Dutch filmmakers worth your time, Alex van Warmerdam, director of De Noorderlingen, and Martin Koolhoven, director of Oorlogswinter.

What comfort movies are you watching whilst in quarantine? Are you working on any viewing projects? I actually am in a viewing project at the moment. One of mine and my wife’s guilty pleasures is superhero movies! So currently we are, again, on a Marvel Cinematic Universe rewatch streak. They just provide a wonderful form of escapism and are definitely deserving of the term comfort movies. Some are better than others of course, but the perspective of rewatching The Avengers, Thor: Ragnarok or Guardians of the Galaxy after a while still tends to fill me with excitement. In a way, there’s still a bit of the twelve-year-old in me that was so thrilled to see T2 or Jurassic Park.

How do you plan on inducting your kids into the cinephile life? Well, most important is that they just enjoy going to the movies like I did when I was young. Let’s hope we will be able to do so again in the near future. They are still young, but their access to screen time with Netflix, Disney+ and (mind-numbingly stupid clips on) YouTube is so different than the days when we were young. So having them watch some Ghibli classics is already quite a step. And then I think the rest should come naturally. If not, so be it.

Which, for you, are the most useful features on Letterboxd? Did you know they have a list with the 250 best rated narrative feature films? That’s basically all you need to know… All kidding aside, just reading reviews once in a while by fellow members whose opinions I value is still the heart of the service to me. That and the statistics pages. And browsing other lists.

Does anyone in your real life know that your list is kind of a Letterboxd big deal? Not really! Mostly because I don’t exactly feel that way about it. I mean: my wife knows, but other than that it’s pretty much still my pet project. To me, it’s still just a film enthusiast’s list that so happened to become the site’s official top 250. I do have to say that it is humbling to see the numbers of new followers every day—especially when Letterboxd mentions the list on her social accounts—and to realize that apparently almost 23,000 people around the globe have taken a liking to it.

Please name three other members you recommend we follow. Fellow countryman and longtime member DirkH. He is not as active as he was before, but writes beautifully personal reviews, always with his trademark witty humor or sometimes cheeky sarcasm, not always to the liking of everyone. You all got to know Lise in the first How I Letterboxd, but I’d definitely also recommend following her other half Jonathan White. His reviews are great, he knows so much about film and is always willing to share his thoughts or answer questions. And damn, that man can rhyme. Then there’s Mook, if only for his franchise lists. Check out his MCU list, it’s my go-to place when I want to read up on anything Marvel.

Related content

Official Top 100 Documentary Feature Films

Official Top 100 Narrative Features by Women Directors

Letterboxd’s ‘Official’ Top 50 of 2020

Several of the films mentioned in this interview—Sátántangó, La Flor—are (at the time of writing) available for virtual screenings. The details are in our Art House Online list.

#letterboxd #how i letterboxd #top 250 films #letterboxd top 250 #dave vis #cinephile #film lover #letterboxd members #letterboxd community

4 notes · View notes

kerlakierloin · 5 years

Text

Days of Pondering. Ch 2 (Snufkin x Moomin Illustrated fic)

Kay-Ray-Kú-Kú-Kó-Kex read part 1 here

"Why does it have no name? This rush of putrid joy."

song link: Múm- Kay-Ray-Kú-Kú-Kó-Kex

AN: Moomin is like 15 and Snufkin 16 in this fic. Also I'm gonna freestyle the hell out of this work :( I've been in my new job for a year now and I just haven't had time to join a fandom properly. With that I mean i haven't had time to read the books. Job and side projects. That's all I've done.

AO3 LINK HERE

Eyes wide and body tense. Was that a- oh god that is a tongue touching his. Snufkin stayed frozen, not knowing what to do. He had dreamt about this moment, but this was against his will! And now it was becoming reality… But against his will!! Snufkin felt his heart swell up and the small moment felt like minutes, even days…

But as soon as it happened, it was gone. The lone wanderer lying on his back left to recollect his scrambled thoughts. He slowly got up to pick up his hat and stared into the distance watching his best friend who had just… kissed him run off. Yes, what he felt were Moomin’s soft lips on him.

He felt his face heat up suddenly. He didn’t recall The Snorkmaiden and Moomin ever displaying such level of affection. So why him? What made him special? Snufkin’s mind and heart were racing high speeds by the second. He was left alone on the beach and confused for some time.

After managing to return his heartbeat to normal somehow Snufkin felt his body move in autopilot. He fixed his hat on his head, grabbed his backpack and started walking. Getting farther from Moominvalley, and farther from his best friend, dear Moomin.

He had just crossed the bridge where they would meet again in the spring when a gust of wind passed by harshly and small flakes of snow started to pepper the ground. Snufkin held on to his hat so it didn’t fly away. Slowly but surely continuing his walk. He could feel winter’s cold breath against his back. He tried to focus as much as he could on walking. He did not feel like thinking right now. He focused on his steps, he counted them for a good part of the walk. He focused on the different materials and textures he came across. Anything no matter how minor to keep him from thinking about what had happened.

Sun rose yet the day remained mostly cloudy, and the wanderer kept on walking until he could no longer keep moving. He saw a nice rock to sit on, so he put his backpack on the floor, realizing he had reached the border of the snowfall. Where the snow ends and its pretty visible... you could say that the sight was also pretty. “This isn’t something you see every day.” He said to himself enjoying the view. Seeing clearly the division of where he was where no snow fell and the lone distance where his back was facing.

“Such a beautiful sight and it's only the first day, I can’t wait to tell Moomin when I go ba-.” He stopped. He warned himself that he was about to enter territory he didn’t want to deal with. He closed his mouth and eyed his backpack. He sighed and finished his small break, getting up and walking to it, beginning to set up camp. After that he started his fire and walked to the small river on his side of the area.

He was glad to see it hadn’t frozen over just yet, so he decided to fish a bit. Once the sun started setting he added more wood to his fire and prepared some soup, using some small veggies Moominmamma had given him the day before. Once he finished he went to wash his plates. He winced one his skin made contact with the water.

Oh yeah, you’re supposed to be careful around water in winter. He proceeded to wash them anyway trying to ignore the pain. His mind was of course still wired and thinking of a certain white cotton ball. Oh how he missed his warmth. But Snufkin was certain something had just changed between them and he was scared.

Once inside his tent Snufkin changed into his more comfortable sleepwear. He lied down and debated whether he should reroute and skip Moominvalley next spring or come back. He felt cruel just considering it. He knew it would break Moomin's heart. He brushed the thought away knowing that if he gave in to guilt he would not be able to sleep. He was just scratching the surface of his thoughts. But he was too tired to keep worrying about those things. So he decided to leave those decision to his future self.

And so Snufkin dreamt. He dreamt that he was on his way back to Moominvalley. To Moomin’s house. To him. His… home as well. He guessed he could call it that. In his dream he saw himself in third person. He was trailing behind himself, seeing the confidence in each step his dream-self took. He looked around, noticing how with each step dream Snufkin took, snow melted, and flowers bloomed under each step he took and after a brief moment he could hear it. His spring song. His dream self was making his presence known by playing the mouth organ. He knew that would get Moomin's attention once they got close enough.

It was as if he was bringing spring to his dear friend to wake him from his deep slumber. A gift for Moomin. They both walked until reaching the all too familiar house. He felt his heartbeat rise. Could it be? Maybe everything is back to normal. Snufkin thought. Although he realized something felt odd… He never went towards Moomin. Moomin always came out to greet him. He never felt the need to do that himself because it's just the way things were. So why?-

The door slammed open and there he was. Moomin stood in the entrance, his tail wagging excitedly behind him Snufkin noticed. He saw his dream-self and the troll hug in a warm embrace. Snufkin couldn’t help but smile at the sight. And then the troll started nuzzling Snufkin’s face gently with his snout. Snufkin felt as if he was encased in ice at the sight.He took a step back apprehensively. Honestly scared of the display of affection the two figures of his wandering imagination were having. Sure, he's held Moomin's hand before, even hugged the troll as well. But now, it almost seemed that there was a different meaning to those gestures. He didn’t want to look, in part because he felt it wasn’t his place to do so. But he was frozen.

Suddenly, he saw chains slither out form inside the house like snakes. Starting to wrap around his dream-figure. It was odd because he could feel the coldness of the chains even though they were not pressing directly against his own skin. The chains came out and kept wrapping themselves around the other Snufkin, meanwhile Moomin was looking at him adoringly and pleading him to stay. ‘Stay with me Snufkin. Forever and ever… Because I love y-‘

Overwhelmed, Snufkin woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He Took a time to collect his surroundings. He gulped trying to keep the tears sprouting from his eyes from falling. Wiping his face with his pijama’s sleeve. Rubbing it all over trying to feel a sense in reality.

The dream had helped him realize. He wasn’t against loving his best friend. Except Moomin already had The Snorkmaiden so why him!? But he also realized that even though he was here, thousands of steps away. He was dreading getting to this conclusion but he realized… even though he was all the way out here, he had left his heart in Moominvalley.

Snufkin looked around inside the tent for his mug and got out as fast as he could, going to the small stream only to noticed it had already frozen up. He knocked on the cold surface with the bottom half of his mug and managed to break the solid but not thick film of ice that had covered the stream. He collected some water and put it near his fire, opting to start his campfire again, for the water was too cold to drink.

After warming it a bit and waiting for it to cool down again, he chugged the liquid down and wiped his mouth once more with his sleeve… He should probably stop doing that. He went back inside to into his normal clothes. He needed to keep walking since the snow would catch up to him in no time.

While he was getting dressed, Snufkin accidentally pulled on his coat a bit too harshly, making a button pop out. His buttons were special, the kind you couldn’t find in town stores anymore.Purchase aside, he was a being of little to no possession. To Snufkin the very clothes he wore helped him remember all the good times spent his friends. He believed the small button contained many happy memories of him in the valley. He didn’t want to carry it around and risk losing it. He stared at it for a while thinking oh how he wished he had asked Moominmamma for a spare roll of thread.

Snufkin packed his things, the button being stored neatly into a small metal case where he kept needles and other useful small things, and bid farewell to the temporary resting spot and started walking. Feeling at peace yet uneasy how he realized he wouldn’t mind kissing Moomin again. But it was his friend’s expectations and desires to stay what made him scared. But deep down he was happy, he knew he was.

Snufkin kept walking absentmindedly until reaching a small glen, devoid of its usual flowers because of the weather and looked up. The sun had been out when he woke up, but it was gray now. At least he didn’t have to worry getting sunburns in the winter he thought trying to justify walking in the now colder atmosphere. He looked out in the distance and could make out something. A small town. Maybe he could find a roll of thread there. As long as he didn’t feel overwhelmed by its residents, everything should be just fine.

Next Chapter: Beyond Moominvalley

#moomin #snufkin x moomin #moomin fanfic #snufkin #ooc #sorry guys

54 notes · View notes

weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

Text

The Weekend Warrior Reopen Movie Theaters Edition 8/21/20: UNHINGED, PENINSULA, THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN, WORDS ON BATHROOM WALLS, TESLA and More!

Well, this is the weekend when movie theaters are supposed to reopen, whether it’s some of the big chains like Regal or AMC, even though, Canada is well ahead of us, having opened about 300 theaters last weekend. A few of the movies in this week’s column will supposedly only be released only in theaters, while a few of them have already given up on theatrical to go the streaming route. I really don’t know what to tell you if you live in New York and L.A. except that pre-COVID, you used to get all the movies first, so I guess we better get used to things flipping thanks to the pandemic. Either way, there’s an INSANE number of new movies this week, and I’m going to do my best to cover all of them… or at least the ones that I know exist.

And then on top of all THAT, the annual Fantasia Festival in Montreal is starting this week in a virtual edition filled with literally hundreds of genre films, and lots of great films from Asia in particular, and man, I wish I had time to watch more of the movies they’re offering. I’ve only been up to Fantasia in person a few times, and both times were great experiences. Much of that has to do with the audience, which is mostly made up of college-age and older genre fans who enthusiastically lap up every minute of genre awesome that Fantasia delivers. Sadly, it’s very much the type of festival that benefits from being together in person, especially at the end of the night when filmmakers and fans alike converge on one of the local drinking holes.

One of the movies I did have a chance to watch was Justin McConnell’s Clapboard Jungle: Surviving the Independent Film Business, an intriguing doc that follows the director of Lifechanger on his five-year journey to get that movie made. It involves a lot of schmoozing and networking at festivals like Fantasia (in their Frontiéres market, which I’ve never attended) and Cannes, basically struggling to sell his ideas to financers and trying to focus on other ventures (like short films) in the meantime. It’s a sobering film for anyone wanting to become a filmmaker, because McConnell doesn’t leave any moment of utter heartbreak on the cutting room floor on his journey to make a movie that I have literally never heard of! So yeah, I guess calling your movie “Lifechanger” could end up being more ironic than you set out to, but what McConnell has in this movie is some great advice and anecdotes from some of the greatest horror filmmakers, including Guillermo del Toro, Richard Stanley, Larry Fessenden, Sid Haig, Mick Garris. I mean, if they’ve been involved in any aspect of indie horror over the past five years, they’re in this movie, and often, it’s more worthwhile listening to them than following McConnell’s own journey.

I hope to have more to say about Fantasia over the next few weeks as it runs through September 2, but I gotta get to the crazy number of movies opening this week, and again, a few of them are in theaters.

Speaking of movie theaters, Russell Crowe stars in the action-thriller UNHINGED (Solstice Studios), which will presumably ONLY be seen in movie theaters this weekend, reportedly 2,000 theaters that will not include either New York or California, the two biggest movie markets in the country. Sigh. Let’s just get on with this…

Directed by Derrick Borte (The Joneses), Crowe plays a violent and angry white man – can’t wait for THOSE think pieces, he said sarcastically – who is literally honked at by Caren Pistorious’ soon-to-be-divorced mother who is late bringing her son Kyle (Gabriel Bateman) to school. He does what every sane person would do… he proceeds to terrorize her, kill her loved ones and do everything he can to teach her a lesson. America, what a wonderful place, huh?

Those going to see this movie to literally watch Crowe come unhinged won't have to wait too long, as we meet his character as he’s attacking a family and burns down their house, before we’re subjected to an opening credit montage of the type of anger and violence that’s permeated this country over the past few years. We then meet Pistorius’ Rachel as she tries to cope while facing a divorce and trying to get her son to school when she has what would normally be a fairly innocuous encounter with Crowe’s character that drives what is clearly an already insane man over the endge.

There’s something about Unhinged that reminds me of the Michael Douglas movie Falling Down, but that’s only if you consider Crowe the protagonist of the movie, which I certainly don’t. That would be Pistorius’ character, who finds herself being tormented as this man starts following her around and making an already bad day even worse, just to make her feel as miserable as he does. Yeah, it’s not a great movie for current times, but you at least have to give it credit for having a title that gives you exactly what you’re paying to see.

Borte does a pretty decent job creating tension, although parts of it end up being unintentionally funny due to how over-the-top and absurd the whole thing is. At least it all builds up to an amazing final car chase, driven by David Buckley’s score, and that more or less makes up for how ridiculous the movie’s high concept premise gets earlier. While Unhinged has its moments of silliness, I honestly haven’t gotten as excited watching a movie over the past few months as I did watching it – your road rage may vary.

After opening in roughly 300 Canadian theaters last weekend, it will expand into North America in an estimated 2,000 theatres. Under most normal circumstances i.e. before March, I might try to predict how well it might do at the box office, I feel that the times have made it tougher or nearly impossible. (I’ll say it makes $2 to 3 million, just for a laugh.)

The movie I was MOST looking forward to seeing this week was Yeon Sang-Ho’s TRAIN TO BUSAN PRESENTS: PENINSULA (Well Go USA/Shudder), which as you may guess from the title is the sequel to his 2016 zombie flick, Train to Busan. This one takes place four years later as a group of Koreans that have evacuated to Hong Kong before the country was shut off from the rest of the world are sent back to retrieve a truck full of American money that could make them rich beyond belief. Not only do they have to contend with zombies but ruthless military gangs that make their mission more difficult.

Listen, Train to Busan was so good as its own standalone movie, we really didn’t need a sequel to see what was going on with that world, but Director Yeon clearly had some idea what that world might look like years later, and it’s a pretty scary place. Paying tribute equally to movies like The Road Warrior and Escape from New York, he decided to introduce some new characters and follow their journey. We meet Kim Do-won’s Cheol-min as he’s taking his wife and son to a ship that’s going to take survivors from the first zombie wave to Japan. Things don’t go as planned and Cheol-min is one of the few survivors thanks to his military brother-in-law Jung-seok (Dong-Won Gang), but the two end up stranded in Hong Kong as the borders of Korea are closed. Four years later, they’re given the incentive to go back to Korea to retrieve the money, and of course, things don’t go as planned. After being attacked first by zombies and then the gang-like military group Unit 631, led by Min-jae Kim’s Sgt. Kwang and Gyo-han Kwoo’s Captain Seo, Jung-seok is saved by two young girls (Re Lee, Ye-Won Lee) and their mother, played by Jung-hyun Lee.

That’s the basic set-up for a film that doesn’t quite measure up to Train to Busan, not because director Yeon wasn’t trying. He clearly didn’t want to necessarily copy exactly what he did in the first movie, but also, he wasn’t able to completely replicate that film’s magic either. A lot of that may be since the characters aren’t nearly as interesting; they’re tougher and far more able to fight off the zombie swarms, which lowers the stakes considerably. Setting the movie further into an apocalypse just means it’s going to tread familiar territory, particularly from things like The Walking Dead.

Despite what I said above about the characters, I generally liked the cast, especially the spunky young girls who took on zombies and militia men alike, but I’ll admit I got more than a little confused about the two main guys, the brothers-in-law. They look so different in the opening sequence, I couldn’t figure out which was which when introduced for the body of the movie. Since this movie mostly takes place at night, it’s also harder to see the brilliant work done by the FX people and zombie actors, which is still pretty amazing to watch.

Peninsula makes for a pretty decent throwback action flick, and you can’t completely fault it for not having as many emotional beats throughout, because the ending is so overflowing with feels, it’s obvious Director Yeon has succeeded again.

Disney+ is premiering the family film THE ONE AND ONLY IVAN on its Disney+ streaming service this Friday. Directed by Thea Sharrock (Me Before You), it stars Bryan Cranston as Mack, the ringmaster of a strip mall circus whose star attraction is the gorilla, “The One and Only Ivan!” (as voiced by Sam Rockwell). The circus isn’t doing as well as it used to, so Mack has bought a baby elephant named Ruby (voiced by Brooklyn Prince) as a draw for the show’s other elephant Stella (voiced by Angela Jolie). Ivan isn’t too thrilled with the show’s new attraction, but he has other things on his mind, including a pesky dog named Bob (voiced by Danny DeVito) and others voiced by Hellen Mirren, Phillipa Soo… and yes, you’re reading this right… Chaka Khan!

It’s based on the children’s book by Katherine Applegate, adapted by the always great Mike White, and while at first glance, it might seem like a dangerous meld of Tim Burton’s Dumbo with the early 2020 dog Dolittle, there’s a lot more at work here. Sure, there’s a lot of the typical Disney kiddie-related humor – fart jokes and other visual gags – but it’s really about these CG animals and their feelings about their situation, and the elements used to create them and make them feel are superb. Cranston also does a good job maintaining his composure while getting involved in some of the film’s silliness.

Of course, you could just “aww” over the adorable elephant Ruby (basically a miniature version of the Jolie-voiced Stella) or laugh at the antics of the other animals. My favorite was definitely the De Vito-voiced dog, Bob, who offers some of the best jabs and gags, which helps keep the tone from ever getting too heavy without losing the dramatic weight. The movie even takes a cue from Madagascar for one sequence, but either way, it will keep you and your kids entertained.

The entire movie is very emotional, especially the last twenty minutes that might make it hard from having a good old ugly cry. This is a truly wonderful family film and one of the weekend’s nicer surprises. (Note: I also did a more technical review of the movie about things like cinematography and visual FX over at Below the Line.)

This week’s “Featured Flick” is WORDS ON BATHROOM WALLS (LD Entertainment/Roadside Attractions), based on the novel by Julia Walton, which stars Charlie Plummer (Lean on Pete) as Adam Petrozelli, a high school senior who discovers he suffers from schizophrenia that is far worse than just the voices he hears. It gets him expelled, but knowing he wants to go to culinary school, Adam’s mother (Molly Parker) enrolls him at St. Agatha’s Catholic school, where he tries to keep his condition a secret while being tutored by a brainy and quite attractive classmate, played by Taylor Russell (Waves).

If you read last week’s column, you’ll already know my reticence towards young adult fare. Even with that in mind, I do enjoy coming-of-age tales, especially those set in or around high school, and then if you throw in a bit of religion, some foodie culture and a little tinge of humor, even while dealing with a serious subject, you’ll probably have me on board. That’s definitely true about this movie, adapted by Thor Freudenthal, who makes a smooth transition from kiddie fare to older kiddie fare with a really unique look at one young teen’s journey through an important moment in his life while dealing with a condition that some are never able to overcome.

Having not read the original book or anything about the movie before seeing it, I was a little surprised when things go haywire in Adam’s science class, since I thought maybe he was a mutant. We then meet three characters who will follow him around (at least in his head) for much of the movie, played by Anna Sophia Robb, Devon Bostick and Lobo Sebastian, each representing a part of Adam’s psyche: kind of like the devil and angel telling you what to do in any given situation. It’s quite witty and a clever way to bring some humor into many scenes, particularly Sebastian’s role as “The Bodyguard,” carrying a baseball bat, ready to attack anything that keeps Adam from achieving his goal of being a chef. I loved how the three characters interplayed as a Greek chorus with what was happening.

Adam eventually meets Russell’s Maya, the perky, snarky and super smart St. Agatha’s Valedictorian, who he convinces to tutor him in math, while also trying to hide his biggest secret from her. As Adam starts taking a new medication, the voices and his companions start disappearing, but he also learns there are negative side effects. There was a lot to enjoy about this movie, but it was particularly interesting how Freudenthal uses sound and CG FX to recreate what’s going through Adam’s mind when he’s off his meds.

The film coasts gracefully on the general likability of both Plummer and Russell during the highs and lows of their relationship, but I also enjoyed the adults cast around them, including Molly Parker as his mother, Walton Goggins as her overly-cloying live-in boyfriend, and Andy Garcia as a compassionate padre, who all have great scenes with Plummer, bringing many more layers to the characters and story than we normally might get.

Words on Bathroom Walls is an absolutely wonderful movie – for me, it’s this year’s Book Smart -- and a very pleasant surprise at a time when I’m super-cynical about movies that I’m forced to watch on my laptop. Besides being a really original coming-of-age film, it also finds a way to deal with schizophrenia in a head-on way that hopefully gets others to understand a mental illness that makes it hard to live a normal life.

Michael Almereyda writes, directs and produces TESLA (IFC Films), which as you may guess is not a biopic about Elon Musk, but is actually a very different biopic about inventor Nikola Tesla, as played by Almereyda regular, Ethan Hawke. The film follows Tesla through his early relations with Thomas Edison (Kyle MacLachlan), George Westinghouse (Jim Gaffigan) but more importantly the women, including Anne Morgan (Eve Hewson), who narrates the semi-fictionalized account of Tesla’s life.

If you saw last year’s The Current War, you may be wondering why we need another movie about Nikola Tesla that covers some of the very same ground. I’ll get to that in a moment. Using IMDB, I can probably figure out how many movies Almereyda and Hawke have made together, but I’d have a harder time figuring out if Almereyda has made a single movie I’ve liked, and believe me, I’ve tried. That’s partially what makes Tesla such an interesting endeavor, since it might be Almereyday’s most daring and accomplished work to date.

You have to assume The Current War was already made and out there by the time Almereyda even started making this since that played at Toronto many years ago. Apparently, Almereyda had his own vision and decided to make it, undaunted, because this is certainly a rather unique take. It’s narrated by JP Morgan’s youngest daughter Anne, played by Hewson, but she does so in a way that’s almost out of time, even mentioning Google. For the most part, Almereyda and his cast stick with the period, but there are definitely a few moments like that where it veers into an almost surreal fictionalized version of events.

What really makes Tesla standout is the subdued performance by Hawke where he never goes overboard with Tesla’s Eastern-European accent (unlike Tesla’s associate Szigeti who often sounds like Borat). More importantly, Almereyda decides to tell Tesla’s story through his tentative relationship with women. You see, he never got married, and yet, he meets all these beautiful women along the way who have an impact on his life and career, mostly Anne who provides him with her father’s money but also the intriguing actress Sarah Bernhardt (played by Rebecca Dayan) and others. There are still some of the other players like Edison (played by Kyle MacLachlan) and though I like the interesting turn in Jim Gaffigan’s career into dramatic roles, I did prefer Michael Shannon as George Westinghouse in The Current War.

Regardless, Tesla is just such a gorgeous film that delivers a biopic unlike others using a very distinctive tone, maybe even with a nod or two to David Lynch, and that’s what helps set it apart from Almereyda’s previous work.

Wu-tang Clan founder The RZA directs his third movie, CUT THROAT CITY (Well GO USA), a crime-drama set in post-Katrina New Orleans, starring Shameik Moore (Dope) as James aka Blink, a cartoonist from the Lower 9th Ward, who, along with three of his drugdealer buddies (Denzel Whitaker, Demetrius Shipp Jr, Keean Johnson), are coerced by T.I.’s vicious druglord, “Cousin” Bass, into robbing a casino that puts them in the crosshairs of the local police and others.

There’s something on paper about this movie, written by P.G. Cuschieri, that seems a little been-there done-that, although the cast The RZA has put together – including Ethan Hawke, Rob Hunter, Wesley Snipes, Isaiah Washington and Terrence Howard – some in smaller roles – is just so impressive you just can’t ignore it. RZA is also working with a decent script, one with a few tonal and pacing issues, but also one tht maintains a youthful energy that feels authentic to the time and place.

It takes a little time to get to the actual heist, which paves the way for everything else that happens, including a few deaths. It’s after that where we meet Detective Lucida Valencia (played by Eiza González), who is trying to solve the case of the casino robbery, as more parties get involved, including a City Councilman played by Hawke and some of their fathers. Rob Hunter is fantastic as Blink’s father, who delivers some mighty fine scenes, but others, like Snipes and Howard, have fairly small roles. At first, Hawke’s role seems like a mere cameo, but when he returns almost an hour into the movie, he delivers quite an impassioned monologue that proves his worth in any sized role. It’s a sign of a good director to cast such great actors them step aside an let them do their thing.

Cut Throat City is definitely one of those movies that gets better as it goes along, although it’s by no means an “action movie” in terms of how it deals with the situation in New Orleans that turns so many young men like James/Blink to crime to earn a living. It sometimes gets bogged down in its dialogue and drama and things might not come together as well as hoped, but right now, as a director, the RZA might end up being the unlikely successor to the Singleton legacy.

Jay Baruchel adapts the comic book RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE (Shudder) by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. It follows Todd Walkley, a graphic novel writer played by Jesse Williams, who goes on a road trip with his wife Kathy (Jordana Brewster), for them to follow the trail and study the murders of the serial killer that inspired Todd’s hit comic book character “Slasherman.” Along for the journey is Todd’s best friend Ezra (Baruchel) and art assistant Aurora (Niamh Wilson).

Although I had read the original comic book on which this is based, it was a long time ago. I clearly forgot how dark it was, especially since in this case, the quartet’s story starts in far lighter and fun way. I assume Baruchel and his co-writer Jesse Chabot did this intentionally. It isn’t long before a killer in a welder’s outfit starts brutally killing people and leaving the bodies where our heroes can find them. Turns out that it’s a copycat who is recreating the murders in Todd’s comic.

Baruchel does a decent job with his second feature as a director, which is surprising since his first movie was a hockey comedy, which would have been right up his wheelhouse. Goon: Last of the Enforcers also was tougher since it was a sequel to a really good movie, but Baruchel shows that he has a real handle on horror, especially when it comes to making it as disturbing as anything out there. He has able help in cinematographer Karim Hussain, who gives the film such a stark look with bright green and red lighting, as well as the make-up FX team who create some truly grotesque murder victims.

I’m not usually a fan of slasher films so much, but Random Acts of Violence takes the interesting spin on the genre from the comics and adds new elements that really elevate the original story. (For one, Niamh Wilson’s character was terrific, and she’s completely original to the movie.) These elements and just the overall look and tone makes Baruchel’s adaptation one of the more effective horror films I’ve seen this year.

Indie filmmaker Aaron B. Koontz (Camera Obscura) returns with his second feature, the horror-Western THE PALE DOOR (RLJE Films/Shudder). It’s about two brothers, Duncan Dalton (Zachary Knighton) and his younger brother Jake (Devin Druid), who lead a motley group on a failed bank robbery. After Duncan is injured, they find a girl named Pearl chained in the wilderness, and they follow her back to a ghost town to get Duncan medical aid where they’re brought to a brothel that turns out to be a coven of witches.

I don’t want to fully shit on this movie, because it has a few elements of merit, but honestly, none of them show up until roughly 51 minutes into the movie when it transforms from a fairly lame Western into a semi-decent horror flick. The movie is co-written by Keith Lansdale, who you might guess is the son of Joe R. Lansdale (an EP on the movie), who is kind of legendary for his horror-Westerns. Instead, The Pale Door spends the first half following overused Western tropes but not particularly well-written ones, and everything just looks too clean and bright without the grit that’s necessary to make a Western work. Granted I’ve seen a LOT of Westerns in my day but there are so many great ones even of similar budget, like Ti West’s In a Valley of Violence, so there’s little excuse for how badly this one falters.

Amidst the mostly bad cast, Koontz does have a few ringers like Pat Healy (from Ti West’s The Innkeepers!) and Stan Shaw, the latter as Lester, the former slave who becomes a substitute father for the brothers and who has some great moments in the last half of the movie. After the big reveal of the witches, things do generally get better and the ending is quite touching, as it strikes a nice note about brotherhood. But all of the stuff up until that point just isn’t very good on so many levels. It’s almost as if Koontz was learning how to make a movie while actually making the movie. (This is something more common on someone’s first movie, though.) Even the fact this movie is basically about brave men fighting evil women just isn’t a particularly good look for a movie right now. The Pale Door is a movie that needed to be better from the jump, and also get to some of the more exciting and gory stuff faster, since it’s just going to lose too many people before it finally shakes things up.

Actor Peter Facinelli (from The Twilight Saga, among other things) writes and directs the suspense thriller, THE VANISHED (Saban Films), starring Thomas Jane and Anne Heche of a ten-year-old girl, Taylor, who disappears while they’re RVing at a lakeside camp, causing them to do all sorts of unexpected things in order to find her.

I’m not sure whether I was more surprised that this was based on true events before or after actually watching it, because this movie gets pretty cray-cray, and that’s in the same week where we have Russell Crowe in Unhinged! Unfortunately, Facinelli’s sophomore effort as a filmmaker – that seems to be a theme this week -- comes across like a bland TV movie that doesn’t offer anything new from ‘90s thrillers like Fatal Attraction or I Know What You Did Last Summer, other than maybe some overacting from Heche or general sleaziness from Jane. It also stars a barely-recognizable ‘90s star Jason Patric as the town sheriff trying to find the couple’s daughter along with his deputy (Facinelli, who else?).

Very quickly, the couple get so desperate to find their daughter they start killing anyone they think might be responsible. By an hour into the movie, everyone is still a suspect, including the guy who runs the camp who (just by coincidence) happens to be part of a pedophile ring. UGH. The problem is that Facinelli throws red herring after the red herring at the viewer, leading up to one of the biggest “What the Holy F?!” endings that would likely make Shyamalan proud. The Vanished wears out its welcome pretty quickly and just leaves you wondering how much of it is true… and mind you, this is in a week where we have a movie with a talking gorilla, who also happens to be an artist… and that’s also based on a true story!

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get to some of these other movies or won’t have time to review, and hopefully you’ll check some of them out.

A genre film that looks pretty cool is Jimmy Henderson’s THE PREY (Dark Star Pictures) that follows Xin (Gu Shangwei), a Chinese undercover cop on a secret mission who ends up in a remote Cambodian jungle prison where the warden (Vithaya Pansringarm from Only God Forgives) sells his prey to rich hunters looking to go after “the Most Dangerous Game.” Yup, this is the second movie this year (after The Hunt) inspired by that short story. I’ll try to add some thoughts if I have a chance to see it before week’s end

Oscar-winning BlackKklansman writer Kevin Willmott writes and directs THE 24th (Vertical Entertainment) is about the all-black Twenty-Fourth United States Infantry Region and how 156 African-American soldiers held a mutiny in Houston as protest to the violence and abuse at the hands of the city’s police. The film stars Trai Byers, Bashir Salahuddin, Aja Nomi King and Thomas Haden Church.

Bummed I didn’t get to watch Thom Fitzgerald’s STAGE MOTHER (Momentum Pictures) in time to review since it has such a great cast that includes Lucy Liu, Jacki Weaver, Andrian Grenier and Mya Taylor from Tangerine. Weaver plays Maybelline, a Texas church choir director who inherits her late son’s drag club in San Francisco so she goes there to save it from bankruptcy.

Of this week’s docs, I’m most interested in Barbara Koppel’s DESERT ONE (Greenwich), which looks at the 1980 rescue attempt by U.S. Special Forces to rescue American hostages held in Iran (as seen in Argo) with interviews with President Jimmy Carter, Vice President Walter Mondal, Ted Koppel and both hostages and hostage takers. I haven’t had a chance to watch it, but Koppel is an amazing doc filmmaker, and I’m sure it’s a fantastic movie. Just need to find the time to watch.

I did get to watch Danny Wolf’s Skin: A History of Nudity in the Movies (Quiver Distribution), which not only has the most self-explanatory title of any doc ever made but is also quite comprehensive in covering how nudity has been used in movies going all the way back to the pre-Code and silent film days. No surprise that Wolf is the director of the highly-enjoyable Time Warp: The Greatest Cult Films of All Time series, because he gets just as many interesting names and faces on this movie, including Malcolm McDowell, Peter Bogdanovich, Pam Grier, Amy Heckerling and more. This is actually a really good doc for the cinephile completist who wants to know everything (or just watch) every semi-famous nude scene that people have been talking about over the past 100 years.

I didn’t have nearly as much interest in P. David Ebersole & Todd Hughes’s House of Cardin, which gets a virtual cinema release this Friday before its On Demand release on September 15. I’m just not into fashion. More my speed is Dana Brown’s new doc A Life of Endless Summers: The Bruce Brown Story (1091) about his father who became famous for his surfing movies. Also on Thursday, you can catch Ric Burns’ doc Oliver Sacks: His Own Life about the neurologist and storyteller on his battles with drug addiction and homophobia. If any of those names jump out at you, just go on Google, and I’m sure you’ll find the movies.

Opening at the Metrograph for a one-week one as part of its Digital Membership (with a live screening with intro on Friday at 8pm Eastern) is a 2k restoration of Judy Irving, Chris Beaver and Ruth Landy’s 1982 film about the arrival of the nuclear age with the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. TONIGHT at the Metrograph is a special Live Screening of James Gray’s 2008 film Two Lovers, starring Joaquin Phoenix and Gwyneth Paltrow with an intro by Gray tonight at 8pm Eastern. Remember, it’s only $5 a month and $50 a year for a Metrograph digital membership, which is a fantastic deal!

Also opening in Virtual Cinemas (including Film at Lincoln Center’s and other regional arthouses) this week is Marcell Jankovic’s Hungarian 1981 animated film Son of the White Mare (1981), getting its first ever U.S. release in a new 4k restoration made from the original 35mm print. FilmLinc will also show Robert Kramer’s 1990 doc Route One/USA about a five-month road trip from the Canadian border to Key West.

A few of the other movies out this week include Love Express: The Disappearance of Walerina Borowcyk (Altered Innocense), Jamie Patterson’s Tracks (1091), Mona Zandi Haghighi’s African Violet (Venera Films), Behind the Line: Escape to Dunkirk (Trinity Creative) and Watch List (October Coast).

Oh, also Christopher Nolan’s Inception is opening in some U.S. theaters as a 10th anniversary rerelease? Man, I miss 10 years ago.

On Netflix this week, you get Trish Sie’s The Sleepover, a family adventure-comedy starring Sadie Stanley and Maxwell Simkins as Clancy and Kevin, who discover their mom (Malin Akerman) is actually a high-end thief in the witness protection program. When she and their dad (Ken Marino) are kidnapped to commit one last job with her ex-beau (Joe Manganiello), they have to team-up to rescue their parents. There’s also the Argentine crime-drama The Crimes That Bind, starring Cecilia Roth, coming to Netflix Thursday, and the Indian gangster film Class of ‘83 coming Friday. Amazon will premiere Richard Tanne’s teen romance Chemical Hearts, based on the book “Our Chemical Hearts” by Krystal Sutherland, which stars Lili Reinhart and Austin Abrams.

Next week, more movies not in theaters, but also some movies in theaters! And others not in theaters, since I’m guessing the ones in New York will still be closed.

By the way, if you ever read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest

#TheWeekendWarrior #Movies #Reviews #Unhinged #Peninsula #Tesla #ThePaleDoor #TheVanished #WordsOnBathroomWalls #RandomActsOfViolence #CutThroatCity

0 notes

elsewhereuniversity · 7 years

Text

continuation of the ODSS-1b fig newton story

the person who sent in those other asks was totally right so ive continued my earlier story some to reflect that. i might write more in this same vein? im not sure. this is sorta… idk, it’s not the Best thing but it sure is a thing, and at least i remembered to save it this time lmao

—

The first time you notice them is probably a Thursday. You’re just guessing, though; you’ve been in the library for a long time. They’re in the psychology section, which intrigues you, so you walk up behind them silently. They have their index finger on the spine of a book titled “Dissociative Disorders: a Guide” which you’ve read and don’t like, so you tell them so,

“That one doesn’t have reliable sources and contains lots of misinformation.”

They flinch, and drop the other books they’re carrying. As they bend down and scrabble to pick them up, they also duck their head, hiding behind a thick curtain of dark hair.

“Oh, sorry,” you say, and kneel down to help them. Oops. You hope they never think to call that in. You’ve been here for practically Ever, you should have this down by now.

“I’ve got it,” they say suddenly, severely, almost sounding scared.

You catch a glimpse of a tattered notebook before it disappears behind a Chemistry textbook. When they’ve finished gathering their stuff back up, they don’t look at you, but still ask,

“Um… How do you know the book is bad?”

“I’ve read it,” you tell them, “and I was in a position where I needed accurate information, and it lead me to Make a Deal that maybe wasn’t the best choice.”

They look up at you then, dark eyes striking and intense, and say,

“You made a deal based on the information in a book on dissociative disorders.”

It’s not quite a question, but you nod anyway. You narrow your eyes at them, and they dip their head to let their hair cover the left side of their face back up. They’re still looking at you with the other eye, and you’re beginning to suspect they’re in a similar situation to where you were upon arriving at Elsewhere University. They’re a freshman; you can tell because a copy of the orientation brochure is sticking out of their Chemistry textbook.

“I can recommend a better book if this is for a class project…?” you let your voice tilt up at the end of your sentence to make it into a question, and they hesitate, before shaking their head.

“It’s maybe a little bit personal.”

You nod, because that’s what you thought.

“In that case, I can provide you with some information on the way all this works.”

You’re being deliberately vague, because you don’t want to spook them if they could use your help, and because if they’re a neurotypical looking for shit to dramatise, you aren’t in the mood for bigotry. They still hesitate, and you remember to add,

“Freely given.”

You don’t know how much they know about common practices on campus, but they’ve probably been advised on accepting favours that aren’t freely given, because they nod. You hold out a hand.

“Follow me?”

They chew on their lower lip, and look at your hand for a long moment, then look up at you and nod. You let your hand fall back down to your side and turn on your heel.

“You may’ve noticed that the library does weird things to your sense of time,” you say, as you walk down the aisle, glancing over your shoulder to check if they’re still following you.

“Yes,” they say, “just, it’s hard to tell if that was… Well, usually it’s my own fault. Are you saying–”

“That it’s the library doing that? Yeah.”

They breathe out a sigh of relief, and start to say,

“So can I assume–”

“Not yet,” you tell them, “it’s not safe to talk about secrets in open areas of the library.”

The rest of the walk to your office is silent. You open the door and let them enter first, and then shut it. They flinch at the click of the latch, and you ask them,

“Do you need this open? I’ve got a salt border under the carpet so it should be okay, I usually only close it for the sake of my various, ah… Brain Quirks.”

They don’t respond, but you’re pretty sure just by looking that the answer is yes, so you open it about a third of the way and then walk around your desk to sit down. You indicate the chair across from you and offer them a Fig Newton, “freely given,” which they decline. They sit down.

“First things first, you can withdraw from this conversation at any time for any reason without explaining yourself, alright? Your well-being should be your first priority, since, if I’m reading the situation correctly, we’re about to discuss some heavy things.”

“Heavy like your chain?”

You look down at your trauma, which you’ve taken to hanging things off of, like a six-pack of coke, with three sodas hanging off one side and three on the other.

“Yeah, that’s… heh, it’s actually my trauma made tangible, so sorta like that.”

They might raise an eyebrow; you can’t tell, because their hair is still all in their face.

“That’s… hardcore.”

You nod, and pop a coke out of the six-ringed plastic doodad, leaving five hanging off the chain. You flick the top before you open it, which is supposed to keep it from spraying everywhere, but you doubt it would stop one of Them from messing with you. The soda doesn’t spray, though, so you count yourself lucky this time.

“I suppose. I don’t know how obvious it is, but I’m not so great yet at being one person, and lately I’ve been trying more creative ways of coping with it. I painted it a few weeks ago,” you just made up that length of time, you have no idea how long it actually was, “but… it didn’t help, it was a bit too much like pretending it wasn’t trauma.

They sort of shy away at your mention of being one person, and, because talking a lot is one of your personality traits (and the thing you cling to when you’re dissociating, to the chagrin of many students in the library), you say,

“You don’t ever have to integrate, though, it should always be a personal choice, which is why that book back there isn’t good. It talks about it like it should be a goal for every system, which just isn’t realistic, and– sorry, I’m rambling.” Dammit, you need to stop apologising. They don’t respond, which leads you to believe they’ve noticed every damn time you say sorry, and they probably plan to use it if you ever try to hurt them. You don’t blame them, honestly; as a freshman with a stigmatised mental disorder, they need every advantage they can get.

You spin around in your chair and pick a drawer of your file cabinet at random. The thing you’re looking for will probably be in there. At this point, you aren’t consciously aware of the locations of most of your things, but since time hasn’t actually passed nearly as much as it feels like, some part of you still knows where it all is.

And yep, here it is, the schedule you drew for yourself sophomore year, once you realised winging it wasn’t going to work out. You put it on the desk and slide it over to them.

“So I recommend making one of these, if you haven’t already. Those are my alters, from when I wasn’t completely me, we split up classes, Georgie took Humanities related stuff, Cotink did the mandatory math class, that sort of thing.”

They nod.

“I’ve got one. Sort of. It’s hard to enforce. And I have a question?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something happening here that’s really big, isn’t there, something that doesn’t follow science, something I’m missing. What is it?”

You grin, and temple your fingers as you lean forwards and tell them,

“Fairies.”

They’re silent for a long moment. Then:

“Ah. And… do these fairies grant favours, or…”

“You have to have something they want. There’s one behind the freshman dorms that likes fig newtons and is really good at getting Names back, for instance. That’s the one I made my deal with.”

“The obsession with names is something I don’t understand.”

“If someone has your true name, they have power over you. We started going by the name we had chosen for when we integrated, which was a bad thing for multiple reasons. I hope you didn’t choose a Name that belongs to any of you?”

They shake their head.

“I’m Fish, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Ozzie. Like osmium, since it’s the densest element and the guy I dated the month after my trauma draped itself across me was a chemistry major who liked puns.”

You think you see a smirk behind their hair, but you aren’t sure.

“And the salt and iron?”

“Fairies can’t touch either of them. They avoid me for obvious reasons. They might avoid anyone who has trauma, but I’ve got no way to test it, and it seems unlikely, honestly.”

Fish nods, and then checks their watch.

“Um, I should probably go? I don’t know, my watch is acting up.”

“Time passes differently in the library,” you reply, and grin at them as they stand and walk through the door. Then you chug your coke, because you forgot about it and don’t want it to go to waste. Good talk.

#stories #OOOOH #clickclick4 #submission

146 notes · View notes

michaelpatrickhicks · 6 years

Text

The Demise of Kindle Worlds and Why Diversification Is So Damn Important (or, Amazon Isn't Your Best Friend)

Wednesday afternoon I received an e-mail from Amazon notifying me they were shutting down their Kindle Worlds brand. For those that may be unaware, Kindle Worlds is essentially a property that Amazon has licensed from the respective creators for other authors to write in. I don't believe any of those stories were considered canon, and the Kindle Worlds stories fell somewhere between media tie-in fiction and fan fiction that bore (to some degree) a staple of authenticity due to the vetting of submitted stories by Amazon and the license holder(s). I had heard rumblings that the cancellation of Kindle Worlds was coming within the indie author community over the last few weeks, and had been waiting for Amazon to confirm.

Now that I have that confirmation, it's safe to say I'm pretty disappointed. In 2016, Amazon established a Kindle Worlds domain for Nicholas Sansbury Smith's best-selling Extinction Cycle series. Nicholas invited me and a number of authors to write the line's debut stories to help launch the Kindle Worlds branch of his Extinction Cycle, and Amazon paid us a nice advance to help us recoup cover art and editing costs, in addition to our monthly earnings generated by the sales of our titles. I'd been a reader and fan of Nick's work for a while, and we'd grown to be friends online over the years. Having the opportunity to put my own little mark on this particular series of his was both an honor and a hell of a lot of fun. I'm really proud of how From the Ashes turned out, and it's been one of my most consistent selling titles, bringing me in some revenue each and every month since it was released in October 2016.

From the Ashes will be going out of print effective July 16, per Amazon. It's only May right now, so the book is still on sale and rather reasonably priced at only $1.99. I encourage you to check it out, particularly since the clock is ticking. You'll want to buy it as soon as you can and keep it on your Kindle for prosperity's sake!

I'd also like to remind you, particularly if you're an independent author, author-publisher, small press publisher, or even just an Amazon customer, of something we sometimes overlook. Yes, Amazon provides us (usually) wonderful service, a bevy of wonderful shows and movies on its Prime video service, great discounts on products, and they opened up the door for indie authors such as myself to distribute their work for real cash money and find and build a readership. But, it's important to remember one simple fact.

Amazon is not your friend.

Amazon is a business, and a very competitive one at that. They're a book-selling powerhouse, one that has ground the vast majority of its serious competitors into the ground. Do you remember Walden Books, B. Dalton Booksellers, or Borders? Do you know where they are now? They're all gone, dead and buried. Barnes & Noble is the last of the big chain brick-and-mortar booksellers, and they're in serious, serious trouble. While their faults are numerous and they have certainly proven stubborn in their failure to improve over the years, they're just about on their way out of this world forever from the looks of it. Once they're gone, Amazon's only competition are the small independent bookstores, used booksellers, and mom and pop shops. I guess Books-A-Million is out there, but I think there's one or two in my whole state and I have no idea how they are nationally. They're certainly easy for me to overlook anyway.

Amazon has certainly done a lot of good for its customers, and it holds the top retailer spot for a reason (of course, earning a profit of more than $5 billion and paying zero in federal taxes helps mightily...). But let's not ever forget that Amazon is also strangely draconian, some might say tyrannical, as well as wildly uneven, in the application of its policies, which oftentimes sees innocents caught in the crossfire. Amazon recently changed its policies on who can leave reviews and certain criteria they must meet (such as spending $50 before they're allowed to review) before those customers can write a review. The aim here was to crack down on fake or paid reviews, a noble goal to be sure, particularly since virtually anybody could leave a one-star review on any product regardless of whether or not they've bought the item in question or ever even used that product or read that book. For instance, groups who fancy themselves Star Wars "fans" have attempted to wage war against Del Ray and its Star Wars authors by posting one-star reviews of this publisher's new books, typically following a script to hit on particular bullet points that they believe are destroying their childhood and any chance whatsoever at a happy, successful life. Amazon even kicked off 2018 by deleting fake and trolling reviews for Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House after Hillary Clinton's What Happened was bombarded with fake reviews the previous September. Fake reviews are an epidemic on Amazon, and some unsavory indie author types have been scamming the system by bribing reviewers with gift cards in exchange for glowing five-star reviews.

Obviously, shit like this needs to be stopped. But the end result, more often than not, is that legitimate reviewers are the ones receiving punishment. While I haven't had reviews deleted, I have noticed that even though I've spent way more than $50 at Amazon this year, my reviews are almost constantly withheld from posting for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. A large amount of my reading time is devoted to ARCs, or advanced reading copies, that publishers send me either directly or that I request from NetGalley. When I review those books, it's as an unverified purchase on Amazon, which likely accounts for why my reviews are so routinely delayed for odd amounts of time. I'm fortunate, though, particularly since Amazon recently began shutting down customer's accounts, believing those customers were leaving fake reviews, banning them from shopping at the online store. The Kindle Unlimited service is plagued with scam artists, and rather than root out these evildoers, Amazon has instead stripped legitimate authors of their rankings, made their books invisible to potential buyers browsing the sales charts, and in some cases froze authors out of their publishing account. David Gaughran has been writing about this for years, and if you're unfamiliar with all the problems inherit to KU and Amazon's unresponsiveness, you'd do well to check out his blog.

Given all the various press associated with these issues from bloggers like Gaughran, and news outlets like The Washington Post, Amazon is very clearly aware of these fundamental flaws in their daily operations. And yet they're awfully quick to ban, giving customers and authors little in the way of a hearing to plead their cases. There is no innocent until proven guilty with Amazon policies, and Amazon has made one thing crystal clear over the years in their responses to such abuses and their hamfisted tackling of these issues: they do not care.

Amazon is not your friend.

True, though, that Amazon has given writers an incredible opportunity to self-publish, and they most certainly did revolutionize independent publishing, regardless of your thoughts on how granting literally anybody the opportunity to write and publish their work may or may not be a double-edged sword. The Kindle is an incredible device, and I use my tablet on a daily basis. But one must also recognize that what Amazon giveth, Amazon can taketh away. Case in point: Kindle Worlds.

Look, being invited to write a Kindle Worlds title was an amazing opportunity for me. I cannot stress that enough. To be invited into an author's sandbox and have the opportunity to be exposed to that author's built-in audience was incredible, and readers of From the Ashes have treated me very well. At the moment, From the Ashes has 25 reviews with a 4.3 average star rating (out of 5 stars). Readers have called it "Brutal apocalyptic fiction at its best" and that it was a book that kept them "on edge until the last sentence" and that "fans of military sci-fi/horror shouldn't hesitate in picking this up." I'd like to think I stayed true to Nick's style of storytelling in his Extinction Cycle books, and that I kept readers engaged with plenty of action and monster mayhem. It's certainly a book I'm proud of, and I'm a bit sad that it will be going extinct (pardon the pun).

Whatever reason Amazon has for shuttering Kindle Worlds is known only to Amazon. Maybe the line as a whole wasn't selling well enough for them, maybe licensing all the various Worlds got too expensive, or maybe they just didn't want to spend the time and money maintaining it. I'm sure there are sound, rational business decisions behind all this, but this move highlights another very important thing for authors and publishers to keep in mind when it comes to doing business with Amazon. Don't get complacent. Remember, there are still other retailers out there.

No doubt, Amazon is the biggest and most prominent retailer around. However, there are still a few other options, at least in terms of ebooks. iBooks, Kobo, Google Play, Nook (for now), and Smashwords are significantly smaller channels for authors and publishers to sell their books at, but they do represent markets of potentially untapped readers begging to be engaged. The loss of Kindle Worlds should remind people of the dangers of putting all their eggs in one basket. Any writer who was solely dependent on selling their Kindle Worlds titles on Amazon are going to be hurting. And if the day ever comes that Amazon decides to change, overhaul, or eliminate their Kindle Direct Publishing, a lot of authors who have bought in to Amazon exclusivity in order to gamble on Kindle Unlimited are going to have to adapt or die. What happens when Amazon decides KDP is no longer benefiting their bottom line? It could happen. It might even happen soon. Or maybe not at all. But one question you have to consider is, how badly do you want to risk your authorial career in order to stay in Amazon's good graces? Because, trust me, Amazon doesn't give a shit about being in your good graces at all. Amazon is going to do what's good for Amazon, everything and everyone else be damned.

We cannot continue to put all our eggs in one basket. We have to diversify in order to survive. This goes for readers as much as it does authors. You can buy all you want from Amazon, but it's important to support local business, too, to help your neighborhoods and your neighbors thrive. Personally, I don't want to imagine a world without bookstores, but we're getting shamefully close to such a view regardless. I buy plenty of ebooks from Amazon, but I also buy plenty of physical books from local shops, my local Barnes & Noble, and specialty presses like Thunderstorm Books and Cemetery Dance. We need a plurality of sellers, and it's important to support them with our dollars. Amazon is not the be-all, end-all of retail commerce, nor should it be. Authors, publishers - If we want to reach readers, we have to go to where those readers are. And yes, Amazon is the lion's share of the market, but there's absolutely no reason to be exclusive to them, especially given how potentially disastrously perilous Kindle Unlimited could be. Being exclusive to Amazon is little more than a case of diminishing returns in the long run. You're better off selling your work on all platforms in order to reach the maximum amount of readers possible. And if the worst comes to pass, you won't be caught flatfooted when Amazon bans you, closes out your account, prevents you from publishing, or decides to pull out of the indie publishing game to focus solely on their own publishing imprints.

As an author-publisher, you cannot rely on one single distributor, regardless of how much more money you make off that particular retail channel. Admittedly, the bulk of my sales come directly form Amazon, but I still move a few copies every month on every other channel, copies that obviously wouldn't have sold if I didn't have my books there. It seems like a no-brainer to me. I want to reach the most readers I can, so I have books for sale right here on this site, in addition to making them available on Amazon, B&N and Nook, Kobo, Google Play, iBooks and iTunes, Audible, in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. All simply because I don't want to be dependent on one retail outlet selling one format. I want to reach every reader I can, wherever they may be, in whatever format they prefer.

Kindle Worlds is closing, but I'll survive because I have other titles available in a variety of formats on all the retailers available to me. From the Ashes is going out of print, and yeah, that sucks, but that's the nature of publishing. Publishers close, imprints fail, books go out of print. It happens. The key is having enough of your toes in the water that you can keep on swimming, and remember that you don't have to stay in one stagnant little pond forever.

#Amazon #Kindle Worlds #Extinction Cycle #From the Ashes #High Fever Books #Michael Patrick Hicks

0 notes