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spenglernot · 6 months

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STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday. What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

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we-may-still-have-time · 7 months

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youtube

I just keep rewatching the last few minutes of "The Innkeeper" and weeping.

#thank you david jenkins #thank you taika waititi #thank you rhys darby #thank you alyssa lane #thank you alex sherman #thank you maggie phillips #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death

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alibeehaw · 2 years

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Fanart I did for the INSANELY GOOD SMAU Piña Coladas which you should absolutely 100000% read if you haven’t because good lord above it is a masterpiece.

Anyway imagining Ed sitting in the car after finding The Mixtape absolutely destroyed me :’)

Print available HERE.

#this fanart was Alex Sherman approved!#no really he liked it on Twitter and I had a fucking crap attack about it thank you mr Sherman for the jumps are #OFMD #our flag means death #pina coladas #piña coladas smau #fancyfuck

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

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03/08/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&CrewSightings; DavidJenkins;RuiboQian;Samba Schutte; Alex Sherman; Rhys Darby Cameo; Fan Spotlight; SaveOFMD End of the Line Statement; SaveOFMD Billboard News and updates; Watch Party Reminders; OFMDCrew Gratitude Event; Kudoboard Reminders; New Kudoboards; Fundraiser Statuses; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= David Jenkins =

Chaos dad poked his nose out to send us some lovely and encouraging words. "Your power is noticed and admired, Don't doubt it. Ever."

= Ruibo Qian =

Our Pirate Queen Ruibo Qian had so much love and support to send today.

= Samba BTS =

Samba's keeping us fed with little bits of BTS each day, thank you Samba. Full Video here courtesy of @daria-meoi

= Alex Sherman =

Oh Alex, our 'Ass Tonight' Guardian Angel. I love that he's just over here liking all our unhinged stuff on top of the usual porn.

== Rhys Darby Cameo ==

Our wonderful crew-mate @_irene_adler and the Our Flag Means Daddy crew got us a wonderful bed-time story from Rhys. Please check it out on Cameo.

== Fan Spotlight =

Thank you @melvisik for continuing to give us lovely collectibles for all our cast & crew. Tonight is Fred Armisen!

== Save OFMD Crew "End of the Line" Statement ==

"Like our inimitable captain Stede Bonnet, we aren’t ready to give up just yet. We are devastated by the news from David Jenkins that attempts to find an alternative home for Our Flag Means Death have "reached the end of the road", but we want to keep fighting—not just for Our Flag Means Death, but for all the shows cancelled before their time. Shows that people put their heart and soul into. Shows that create life-changing experiences for their fans." Please read the rest on the website here.

== Save OFMD Crew Billboard News ==

== OFMD Gratitude Event ==

Join the OFMD Crew on Saturday March 9th, 11 AM PST / 2 PM EST / 7 PM GMT / 8 PM CET, follow OFMDCrew on Twitter.

== Watch Party Reminders ==

03/09/2024 there will be a watch along with the German premiere of OFMD Season 2!

@OurFlagRTL at 1PM EST/4PM GMT/5PM CET #OurFlagRTL.

Feel free to watch in any language you like! #SaveOFMD#LongLiveOFMD

= Wrecked =

Wrecked Season 1 Catch Up Party Starts Tomorrow at 8 am CST / 2pm GMT on the #RhysDarbyFaction server, feel free to reach out if you need access.

= Coming & Going =

Tomorrow 3/9, 9pm cst - 1030pm cst / (3/10) 3am gmt - 430am gmt on the #RhysDarbyFaction server.

We know it's awful, we're getting drunk and having a laugh.

== Kudoboard Reminders! ==

= Taika =

Kudoboard Link

The board will stay up until March 12th, and we will share the link with him on March 13th. The Kudoboard is monitored prior to approval to prevent trolls from jumping in (so if you don't see your additions right away, that's why!)

== Cast & Crew Kudoboards ==

In addition-- thank you to @sharpenyersword on Twitter for setting up ALL THE KUDOBOARDS!

Go send the cast and crew some love folks!

David Jenkins

Nathan Foad

Con O'Neill

Ruibo Qian

Leslie F*cking Jones!

Matthew Maher

Samson Kayo

Alex "Ass Tonight" Sherman!

David Fane

Fellow OFMD Fan Crew!

== Fundraiser Statuses ==

Many fans are turning their grief and feelings of poison into positivity. Since this post by @gentlepanpirate was posted this afternoon around 1:45 MT, the eSIMS and Sanitary Products for Gaza has gone up 12%. Do you have a few dollars to spare? Everyone doing just a few dollars will move it up fast. If not no worries, please consider sharing the link instead!

givebutter.com/OFFP3

= In Soup Now =

In Soup Now in honor of Kristian Nairn's favorite charity Team Haven Belfast, is at 17% Great job everyone working on helping feed unhoused neighbors. Can't donate? No worries! Please consider sharing the link!

https://givebutter.com/OFFP3

== Articles ==

Lot of articles tonight yall. Remember that every one of these shows you made an impact. It sucks cause a lot of them say "failed to find a home" which isn't true, we were robbed of one. But they still matter. The fact that they wrote anything at all shows we've been making waves. You still have power, as Chaos dad said. They didn't take that from you.

Our Flag Means Death Creator David Jenkins Confirms Show Has Reached the End of the Road

Our Flag Means Death Fails to Find New Home After Max Cancellation — Read Creator’s Statement

'End of the Road': Our Flag Means Death's Fate Confirmed by Creator

Our Flag Means Death Creator Addresses Chances of Series Return

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Creator Raises White Flag on Former Max Comedy

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Creator Says It’s “The End Of The Road” After Comedy Fails To Find New Home

Our Flag Means Death Is Officially Done After Not Finding New Streaming Home

Series creator: No new home found for canceled 'Our Flag Means Death'

Our Flag Means Death Creator Confirms The End Of Cancelled Max Show

Our Flag Means Death creator couldn’t find a new home for the series, which is now officially on its way to Davy Jones’s locker

Our Flag Means Death season 3 not happening, creator confirms

Our Flag Means Death creator “officially confirms” show cannot be saved

Our Flag Means Death Canceled After Two Successful Seasons

Our Flag Means Death officially over as the queer series fails to find a new home

El creador de ‘Our Flag Means Death’ dice que es «el final del camino» después de que la comedia no logró encontrar un nuevo hogar.

Our Flag Means Death creator says it's officially the 'end of the road' after show fails to find new home

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH IS OFFICIALLY OVER, CREATOR CONFIRMS SEASON 3 FAILS TO FIND NEW HOME

Unfairly cancelled show fails to find new home: ‘It’s the end of the road’

Heartbreak in the High Seas: Our Flag Means Death Officially Sails Into the Sunset

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies.

I know some of you found out the news later than others, and it's still very raw for you. I'm sending so much love your way, I know you had less support than some of us when you found out and that's got to feel terribly lonely. I've talked to some folks who were fine yesterday, and not okay today, and vice versa. Just know we are here luvs, we are here, and we're happy to talk. We're all going to be grieving for a while. So please be kind to yourselves. Give yourself some grace, it's okay if you can't do much right now. It's okay if you don't finish that gif set, or that artwork, or that fic. It's okay if all you do is get by today. You are doing enough. It's okay if you need to have distractions so you're doing twice as much as you did before. Distraction can help a lot with nervous energy. Give yourself room to be creative, and to let your mind wander, it could use a break. Take some time to laugh if you can. Laughter really can be healing. I wish I had some advice for tonight. I wish I had some better words of encouragement, I know it's all very hard right now for everyone.

Please just know a few things, and you've heard them before, but I need to hear them once in a while so I'm going to say them to you.

You are loved.

You are worthy.

You are enough.

You are beautiful.

You are kind.

You are exactly the way you should be.

You are loved.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Just som giggle from our two guys to hopefully bring a smile to your face.

Daily Darby Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Tonight's Taika Courtesy of @IBrokeCharacter on twitter.

#daily ofmd recap #daily ofmd recaps #ofmd daily recaps #ofmd daily recap #ofmd #s3 renewal #our flag means death #rhys darby #save ofmd #taika waititi #samba schutte #david jenkins #ruibo qian #alex sherman #chaos dad #ofmdfancrew #saveofmdcrew #adoptourcrew #longliveofmd

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ourflagmeansbts · 7 months

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Source l Source l Source (Season 1 - 2022)

dvidjenkins: Rhys, his trusty stunt double Steve Rizzo, and the creepy rubber dummy we got from a television procedural show that doesn't look totally unlike Rhys.

Alex Sherman: You know it’s a big fuckery when you have 3 Stedes on set.

officialsteverizzo: The season finale of #OurFlagMeansDeath is now streaming on @hbomax Thank you @rhysiedarby @dvidjenkins and @stevebrownwrestler for trusting me and for an amazing time playing pirates!!

#ofmd #ofmd bts #our flag means death #our flag means death bts #s1 #2022 #rhys #crew #davidjenkins #alexsherman #steverizzo

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jennifriend · 3 months

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Dear OFMD,

I wasn’t sure who to address this to, at first. There are so many options, so many people instrumental in the creation of this show that means so much to me and so many others. David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, Vico Ortiz, Alex Sherman, and the rest of the producers, directors, writers, cast and crew. I did try to list out everyone, but it took up the whole first page. My social media follows exploded when I began watching.

The thing is, I’ve never quite been comfortable in my skin. I knew something was off about my gender as early as 8, possibly earlier, but eight is when I remember actually thinking that I wasn’t a girl for the first time.

I wasn’t a boy, either, but it was the eighties, and I didn’t know the term non-binary, or that gender was as much a brain thing as a body thing. So I shoved it down, along with the thought that the kids at my school should hurry up and learn the lessons already so we could go onto the next thing and that I hated wearing dresses, except when I loved it.

And then, I just . . . didn’t think about gender for a long time. Not when trans people were the butt of all the jokes in the movies in the nineties, not when trans stories, real trans stories started getting told in the aughts.

Someone gave me the word agender, once, when I was curious and asked what might describe someone who felt neither man nor woman, and never had, and I went with that. I still go with that, or enby, whichever I’m comfortable with in the moment. I was forty. Thirty-two years of not even knowing I was looking for that word, and I was.

And then a year or so later, someone talked me into watching Our Flag Means Death.

I write. I’ve published. When you send a story out, you never know what other people are going to think of it, what symbolism they’re going to find, how they’re going to interpret this thing or that thing. So I don’t know if you realized when you finished filming the first season and sent it for edits, or finished the second season and watched us foam at the mouth for it, how the fans were going to react.

There are a lot more of us out in the world that don’t feel quite right in whatever gender box we’ve been put in than anyone realizes, I think. And I think a lot of us gender-weirdos are fans of this show.

It’s not just Stede, and his love for fine things. It’s Ed, with his hidden silk, and his softly admitting to “maybe” liking “a fine fabric.” It’s not just Jim being outed, and everyone going right back to normal after they figure out that that’s what Jim wants. It’s not even just Wee John’s wonderful performance as Calypso.

It’s also Wee John sitting down to sew and saying he used to sew dresses with his mom. It’s calling Izzy the ship’s “new unicorn” and it’s also Izzy wearing make up. It’s everyone wearing flowers.

It’s Spanish Jackie having nineteen husbands, and maybe some wives.

It’s a meme of any of the characters that’s just a screenshot and the word “gender” written across it.

It’s the concept of “assigned knives at birth”

And it’s the community that this show created to let us feel free to explore all of this. We can bounce ideas off of each other, we can explore new identities, and you - the cast, the crew, the writers of this show - you have given us a safe space to do so.

I’ve been on the outskirts of a lot of fan spaces. I’ve never wanted to step into them because at their core, they seemed so toxic and gatekept. I’ve never felt that from the fans here (we’re not perfect, and there are a lot of very angry arguments over things that I hope you never see).

So yeah, this is my love letter to Our Flag Means Death, the show that helped me figure out, at forty-three, that my gender is, well, me. And it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s label.

Thank you for creating it.

Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for acting in it.

Jenn

#ofmd #save ofmd #renew as a crew #renew our flag means death #ofmd meta #genderenby #enby #agender #nonbinary #nonhuman

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tumblertown-headcanons · 2 months

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Minecraft Things

Assistant is a redstone genius but loves going into mods like the Create mod absolutely blind so they can discover everything. They also love messing around with the most stupid texture packs possible

Sage handles everyone’s food supply and makes sure no one leaves on an expedition without two stacks of steak and a half stack of golden carrots. She’s a bit of a hoarder and her chest situation is a little bit egregious but at least it’s organized! She’s got an enormous auto-composter

Vapor and Sylve are the ones working to build the base into something both very functional and aesthetically appealing. Sage set up a logging area to help them out.

When awake, Mel likes to do the most menial tasks possible so if she accidentally falls asleep, it doesn’t have to worry about being a hazard. Like Strip Mining. It’s relaxing after a long day of fighting crooks

Alex comes up with server-wide events like lil festivals and likes to make fireworks. He has blown up multiple times due to creepers, but hey, at least he’s got his parrots.

Chad is the designated Nether Ambassador. If there is literally anything anyone needs from the Nether, he’ll handle it. But he’ll handle it a lot faster if Sir is the one asking

Speaking of Sir, he and Cathy work together to do the more magical stuff like potion making (since it’s not too removed from chemistry) and enchantments. Thankfully, they have a spawner.

Ivan and Misra rule over and protect a village together because Ivan finally has an empire to himself now. The village is absolutely huge and Ivan would never admit it but he needed to trade Sage for all the wheat seeds he needed for the field in exchange for emeralds

Caden was the one to first kill a wither. He set up the proper underground chamber situation and everything. The Belle Kingdom and Alliance of Homos (Alex’s name for the base everyone else stays at) have beacons thanks to him. He probably lives underground, dangerously close to an Ancient City.

Deed sporadically logs on but the first time she did, she somehow was able to single-handily take on a Mansion with almost no armor and the second time she killed the Ender Dragon. Ever since, once she logs on, everyone’s a little on-edge. Last time it happened, she drained an ocean monument and then just left.

Goon loves to go caving but 4/10 times they end up dying from either fall damage or an onslaught of mobs due to running out of torches. On the bright side, they brought back moss, axolotls, and glowberries last time, much to Sage and Vapor’s delight.

Memiri will log on, pick one person that’s on with her, and stick by them doing whatever she can to help. Watch Chad’s six while fighting ghasts? Totally. Carry an entire inventory of torches and light the way for Goon? No problem. Farm with Sage? Sure thing. Help rig up a skelly spawned with Assistant? Can do!

( I had a lot of fun coming up with these :>)

[OH MY GOOOOOD??? BELOVED WHOEVER YOU ARE YOU COOOOOKED!!!! I fucking love this, Assistant being a Redstone wizard is now canon]

Assistant and Alex: @evilassistantbutnotmean

Sage: @sagehyperfixates

Vapor and Sylve: @vaporeon2010317

Mel/Melatonin: @chaotic-neutral-melatonin

Chad: @deadless-corpse

Sir: @sirlordevil

Cathy: @dr-catherine-sherman-owens

Caden, Ivan and Misra: @the-belle-siblings

Deed: @that-knife-lady

Goon: @boredgoon

Memiri: @memiri-belle

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generalkenobi22 · 1 year

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Fic: I’ve Got Phil! - Chapter One

SUMMARY: Or five times Claire realized her husband was a thirst trap — well, more accurately, her particular brand of duck swaddling, magic loving, realtor swaggering "me likey.”

I'm super late to the Modern Family train, but I'm here now, nine seasons deep. Imagine my shock at the complete lack of Claire/Phil fic, as their dynamic is one of my favorite things in the series. So rather than work on any of my other in-progress fics, I brainstormed this in a Ty Burrell crush-infused haze. The idea is that this will be a multi-chapter effort, and each chapter takes place during a certain number of years into their marriage.

Join me in my three-years-too-late sitcom ship obsession!

Can also be found on AO3.

——————

i. 16 years

The bake sale is a huge hit, but no one—and Claire means no one—is going anywhere near her brownies. Brenda Sherman's no-bake cheesecake squares, though, people can't seem to get enough of those. At one point, the line was wrapped around as far as the restrooms, back near the face painting station, where she's currently stuck.

And, sure, Claire's brownies were a secret recipe (the secret? She picked them up from Ralph's on her way over), but so what? She's just a woman who gave up a lucrative marketing career to basically be a full-time chauffer to three mostly ungrateful kids she loves very much. She barely has time to put on clean clothes, let alone make homemade baked goods for some dumb middle school carnival put on by the PTA.

The only reason she's here in the first place (and not at home taking care of a grotesquely sick Luke) is because Cynthia Williams—Anthony's mom—sent out an email blast saying anyone who volunteered for the carnival wouldn't need to sell wrapping paper for the winter fundraiser in a few months. So, one less thing Claire has to commit to? Like music to her ears.

What's not music to her ears is the way Brenda Sherman sidles up beside her—in her pearls and immaculately pressed slacks—to say, "Thanks so much for coming out to help tonight, Claire!"

Claire takes in Brenda's cardigan and complete lack of undereye circles (seriously: how?) with total suspicion. Much like her daughter, Annabella (at least from what Alex has told them), Brenda is usually a complete kiss-ass. She'd definitely fall under that 'lawful good' category from that game thing Phil and Mitch sometimes play—at least on the surface, anyway. Claire's still not entirely convinced she's not some kind of undercover lizard person.

Her instincts are right on when, before she can get a word in, Brenda adds innocently, "Every little bit counts, you know. And, gosh, Claire—you're so consistent in being a minimalist in so many areas of your life, especially your wardrobe. It's what I admire most about you. The fact that you never let your vanity get in the way of how you present yourself."

Claire thinks about the way her own hair is unceremoniously piled up on her head with a butterfly clip, the way her shirt probably—wait, yup, definitely—has a small vomit stain on it from Luke's antics earlier in the day. She thinks she might snap a crown, the way she grinds down on her teeth and forces a smile. "And that's what I love about you, Brenda. You're always so lavish with your compliments."

It's like one of the old westerns her dad used to make her watch, the way they stand off, but it's in a PTA mom world, so instead of a six-shooter, Claire just draws her most winning smile and forces her attention back on the kid whose face she's painting. Only when the sound of Brenda's footsteps fades under the din of the rest of the carnival does Claire allow herself to grumble.

Gruffly, she holds up a mirror to the kid. "There. You're done."

The kid pouts. "What is it?"

"It's a... pinecone. Or something."

"It looks like poop."

"Just go." She all but pushes the kid out of the stool.

It's not until her own stomach growls that she realizes she hasn't eaten anything since breakfast (one measly slice of toast). Mind made up, she places an "ON BREAK" sign on the recently vacated stool—much to the chagrin of the considerable line of parents and students waiting their turn—and makes her way over to the bake sale table.

When the coast is clear, she snatches one of Brenda's no-bake cheesecake squares and—holy mother of God is it good. She allows herself a muffled moan of pure delight before wallowing in the unfairness of it all.

"Did you see Kevin Peralta's father?"

Immediately, her ears perk up. A group of moms is huddled together (including Brenda) nearby. It's a school-wide known fact that Kevin Peralta's dad is otherworldly fine. Claire casually hangs around trying to listen in. The group is made up of notorious gossip hounds, but sometimes the intel is good.

One of the moms—Tara Perez's mom, Claire thinks—pipes up: "The man's a contractor. There's no way he should look that good."

"I'm not saying it was me," Cynthia Williams insists, "but as soon as someone mentioned a dunk tank fundraiser at the last board meeting, he was voluntold for the position."

Another mom: "Those arms, though... mmm, mmm."

Brenda sighs. "I would gladly let that man stake claim to my construction zone any time."

Claire follows their line of sight over to Kevin Peralta's dad, who is glistening like some kind of Adonis from his throne in the dunk tank. He does, in fact, have great arms, one of which he's lifting to run his fingers through his recently drenched hair. As Claire watches a bead of water travel from his glistening smile, along the column of his throat, down, down his flat stomach into the waistband of his swim shorts, which are slung low on his hips, she allows herself to briefly fantasize...

Claire, I called the plumber. I recognize my limitations, and I think it would be best to let a professional fix the dishwasher. Claire, it's not you. The remote is a faulty piece of junk. Claire, I did something for the kids without you having to ask. Claire, I finally fixed that step. Let me use my big, strong arms to lift you onto the kitchen counter, and—

"Phil Dunphy on the other hand..."

At the mention of her husband, Claire's ripped from her fantasies (equal parts guilty and grudgingly). She listens in more intently.

"Oh, my God!" This from Cynthia Williams. "He's such a goober."

"I don't know," Maybe Tara Cruz's Mom says, "I think he's cuter in real life than on those cheesy bench ads. What he's doing with Claire, though, I'll never know. Even for someone as embarrassing as him, it's a step down."

Okay. Claire's fists clench at her sides, crushing her no-bake cheesecake square paper plate. Maybe Tara Cruz's Mom is dead.

She takes a moment to briefly glance over at Phil, who insisted on volunteering even though no one asked him to. He has on a magician's top hat and a cape, white gloves and all, and is currently trying to dazzle a group of sixth graders with some card tricks. Only she can tell his enthusiasm isn't all the way up at one hundred percent because he was really counting on Luke to be his sidekick for the night.

The fact that he loves Luke that much... Something about the sight makes her heart feel incredibly full, until—

"Could you imagine? I bet he does magic tricks in bed." Brenda laughs at her contribution, while the other women snicker. "God," she adds, "what a loser."

That's the moment Claire goes absolutely postal. She marches over to the group.

"Hi. Hey." She squeezes inside the circle and takes in everyone's suddenly slack jaws with total delight. "Yeah, it's me, Claire. The step down? Just wanted to come over here and say you all are mean ladies. I can't imagine why it's hard to find volunteers, Cynthia, when they can look forward to being insulted behind their backs. Have a wonderful rest of your evening."

She waggles her fingers at all of them before walking away, head held high. Her heart is pounding, but what a rush! In her adrenaline/anger-fueled rage, something occurs to her. She stalks back to the group, who is still stunned into silence, and focuses all of her attention on Brenda.

"Oh, and, Brenda?" She waits until she has the woman's full attention. "Phil does do close up magic in bed, and when he says, 'for my next trick, I'm going to make your clothes disappear,' it's... it's hot as hell!"

And then with as much dignity as she can muster, Claire makes a beeline straight for Phil.

His face lights up when he sees her. He bows with a flourish to his audience, then lightly jogs to meet her about a quarter of the way. "Hey, Hon—!"

Before he can get the full word out, Claire grabs him by the cape on both sides and pulls him in for a, frankly, completely inappropriate kiss for a PTA-run middle school carnival. When she pulls back, Phil fixes his hat and looks equal parts stunned and totally into it.

"Claire! What—?"

"Let's get out of here."

Phil looks torn. "I-I can't. I'm just about to start the Serpant's Kiss. It involves a straightjacket, but I can't go into more detail because I'm already on thin ice with the guild as it is, and—"

"Phil, I have an act I've been working on, and I'd really like to try it out."

Somehow, Phil's eyes darken even more. "You do?"

Claire sidles up to him and whispers in his ear, "I do. It's a trick where I make your pants disappear."

"Technically," he corrects, voice barely above a whisper, "that's a vanishing illusion—"

"Oh, my God, Phil," Claire breaks the spell a moment out of frustration, but she shakes it off and tries again. "I don't think you're quite getting this. I want. To make. Your pants. Vanish."

She can feel him shudder, and when she pulls away, she watches as his throat works through a swallow.

"Houdini's haunches," he says in complete reverence, his gaze never wavering from hers. "What did I do to deserve such perfection? Martin!" he shouts, eyes still riveted on hers.

A pudgy seventh grader makes his way over to them. Phil shucks off his top hat, cape, and gloves and practically shoves them at the kid.

"Martin," Phil instructs, still not taking his eyes off Claire. "At last, the apprentice becomes the master. You must take over and finish the show." Phil grabs Claire's hand and starts pulling her toward the exit. Over his shoulder, he cries, "Remember your training!"

"What the hell are you talking about, man?" Martin calls after them.

But Claire doesn't care. Phil has already started working on his belt by the time they reach the double doors that lead out to the parking lot. Before they leave fully, Claire turns around and manages to find Brenda over at the face painting station. She flashes Brenda a triumphant grin before she laces her fingers with Phil's.

In the end, they both end up making each other's pants and dignity disappear when a school security guard taps on their fogged-up car windows and catches them mid-act. After an excruciatingly humiliating conversation about appropriate school grounds behavior, they Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. Phil is the one who has to tell Alex why she has to take the bus to school for the next week.

#phil and claire are truly marriage goals #if coach taylor and tami taylor are marriage goals for hour drama shows (and they are)#then phil and claire are the sitcom version #modern family #phil x claire #modern family fic #my writing #my fic

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lyrasringofstardust · 5 months

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Thank you for the tag @acidyellowlava! Time to expose my old man taste in music :p

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

1. Al Stewart - My Enemies Have Sweet Voices

2. Amanaz - Khala My Friend (a recent find thanks to Alex Sherman's S2 playlist, but it's such a vibe)

3. Lhasa de Sela - La Celestina (hypnotic!!)

4. Milva - Jenny dei Pirati (from The Threepenny Opera, such a bop. Very Zheng from ofmd coded)

5. Tool - Lateralus (a classic, always scratches an itch in my brain)

i could talk about all of these for hours so anyone lmk if you're interested in that 😂

tagging @dumbkiwi @krystal280791 @weird-mcgee @the-scarecrowlover @tofightadragon @smute @gothwizardmagic with no pressure and no obligation to participate, and everyone else is obviously welcome to join the fun too <3

#tag game

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chippedmelog · 1 year

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MIRANDA GARDENER HEADCANONS-

1- her hair is sort of a mix between brown and blonde.

2- When she first started going out with Sherman, her siblings went crazy with rage.

3- Her favourite flowers are ‘forget me not'

4- She loves chocolate

5- Once, for her birthday, sherman and Clarisse took her on a week long holiday to france, (Clarisse paid for it)

6- Her favourite colors are lavender and sage, because they remind her of nature

7- Practically an Angel at this point

8- She loves going on long walks and picnics

9- She doesn't get along with Katie as well as you would think

10- Her favourite hobbies, are playing the acoustic guitar and reading in the strawberry fields

11- Her signature weapon, is an elegant dagger with a golden blade called Mīravel (Sherman gifted it to her of course'

12- Dancing in the rain is her thing omg

13- Demeter legit forgot about her for a few dam years

14- constantly making flower crowns for people she cares about

15- Ends up dying her hair green, accidentally matching Alex Fierro

16- She loves going swimming in lakes, usually ends up bribing someone to come with her

17- She has like a humongous collection of self made leather notebooks with pressed flowers in the covers

18- She writes a lot of poetry, specifically love things, and ends up leaving them on Shermans bed for hum to find after training, (his siblings def tease him for it)

19- Surprisingly, She doesn't wear the usual camp t-shirt, instead is usually in overalls or floral dresses

20- she loves baking, her dad, Edward, taught her how to when she was only six, she goes and visits him every winter

21- She loves waterfalls

22- Her favourite book is surprisingly The Cruel Prince

23- Her birthday is on the fourth of December

24- she loves going to Cafes

25- Halloween is her favourite holiday

26- At the back of the Demeter Cabin, she started a pomegranate patch for Persephone

27- F l o w e r s. E v e r y w h e r e.

28- she always as Herbs and stuff in a small leather bag.

29- Her favourite food is actually Apple Pie

30- Currently lives in Tepic, Mexico

31- Her eyes are teal, unlike anyone elses, Sherman loves it

32- Goes berry picking once a week

33- She always makes a bonfire on Halloween and thanks the Irish for inventing Halloween

34- Spends too much time sleeping or doing anything above to the point where Chiron is considering banning her from other activities until she starts doing her cabin leader work

35- she does a lot of movie nights, but usually falls asleep before they can finish watching the movie

36- her favourite drink is green tea, (no surprise there)\

37- could spend the rest of her life laying in a field with a few good books and would be fully content

38- likes hosting tea parties for fun

39- Always cooking for friends and family

40- Shes an aspiring author if you hadn't guessed!

should I do more? And heres how I

imagine her;

(closest thing I could find)

#demeter pjo #demeter cabin #miranda gardiner #sherman yang #pjo stuff #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus

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spenglernot · 6 months

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STORIES TELLING: ED TEACH’S JOURNEY FROM ARMOR TO AUTHENTICITY

One of the joys of watching season 2 of Our Flag Means Death is discovering the visual parallels with season 1 that add so much meaning and richness to the story. With affecting, extraordinary economy of visual storytelling, we can see the progression of Ed’s journey from choosing armor in season 1, episode 10 – Wherever You Go, There You Are, to choosing authenticity in season 2, episode 7 – Man on Fire.

[I have to point out the gorgeous cinematography here. Panning down on the left, panning up on the right. The clear resolve of S2 E7 Ed turning to ascend to the deck. I also love the timing of both shots. S2 E7 Ed is turning toward the red silk that S1 E10 Ed will release.]

S1 E10 Ed considers the red silk. The symbol of his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability.

S2 E7 Ed hoists his leathers and his firearm - his literal and symbolic armor and protection - to the edge of the deck.

S1 E10 Ed releases his tenderness, softness, and vulnerability to the sea.

S2 E7 Ed releases his armor and protection to the sea.

S1 E10 Ed throws the person who understands what he’s going through and is in a position to help him work through it in a healthy way, into the sea.

S2 E7 Ed makes breakfast-in-bed for the person with whom he shares emotional and physical intimacy. An act of care and service that strengthens his bond with Stede.

Show, don't tell doesn't seem adequate to describe these two sequences. They are masterful and say so, so much.

The double-edged sword of self-awareness

You’ve really got to give it to Ed. He’s making huge progress. Making a better choice for himself. Moving forward.

Change can be terrifying. For Ed to release that which protected him for decades is, well… it’s courageous and demonstrates hard-won self-awareness and integrity.

Of course, choosing to be authentic to yourself doesn’t translate into automatic relationship building. Understanding and communicating with other people, particularly the person you are in love with, is a related but different skill set. It is also true that, once you know that you can’t perform a persona to please other people, no matter how much you love them, you risk losing them.

Ed in the second frame, above, kills me. He knows that piracy might be the wedge that drives Stede and him apart. He is trying to share how he feels. But Stede is so enamored with finally being a successful pirate (and glowing from the best (and only) love-sex of his life) that he can't hear Ed.

I love that OFMD takes no shortcuts in matters of the heart. If these lads are going to be together for reals, they are going to have to work for it, and there is still much work to be done.

I'm looking forward to likely being simultaneously emotionally fulfilled and mentally devastated by the season 2 finale in about 30 hours.

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redwhale · 11 months

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The curtains have closed on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I’ve been basking in the warm glow of relief since it aired that they not only stuck the landing with the finale, but created one of my favorite final episodes of all time. And that final scene-! Episode 9 ticked every box I needed: the right amount of resolution and ambiguity, of catharsis and the bittersweet. From beginning to end, Midge knew exactly what she wanted, with all the positives and negatives that happened along the way. I loved that the finale gave me the satisfaction of not just Midge’s arc coming full circle, but for Susie, Joel, Abe, and Rose as well – not only their relationship to Midge, but their growth as people. I also thought Lenny’s character was handled with grace and respect, which was also extremely important. The show didn’t shy away from reality of what he went through, but didn’t indulge, either. I loved seeing the thank you card in the end credits to Kitty Bruce, too. I hadn’t realized that any of Lenny's stand-up material used on the show had to be approved by her, which was great to know.

I was so wary leading up to the finale, as I wondered how it affect the show retroactively. Would it be like American Gods, Westworld, or Killing Eve, where I can still enjoy and recommend the earlier seasons even though I didn’t love the direction that the shows ultimately took? Or would it be like Game of Thrones where the finale was so poor that it retroactively made the earlier seasons unwatchable because everything felt pointless? Thankfully, the end of TMMM didn’t quite end up being either, with S5 being an improvement over S4, and then brought the show to a close with a brilliant finale that made everything worth it.

What a void TMMM leaves behind, too: there’s nothing else quite like it. The rhythmic quality to the dialogue. Those insanely long takes with rapid fire back and forth banter. The lavish and outstanding set, costume design, and hair and make-up. The incredible cinematography. The pitch perfect licensed music.

I'll really miss the show's excellent cast. The show wouldn’t have worked if not for core of Rachel Brosnahan as Midge, who was superb from beginning to end. It was incredible discovering that Alex Borstein was not only a brilliant comedian and writer, but a heart shatteringly good dramatic actor was well. The endless joy of the titan that is Tony Shalhoub, always having incredibly chemistry with every scene partner. Kevin Pollak and Caroline Aaron playing characters that have you tearing your hair out in one moment in frustration and howling with laughter in the next. TMMM was my introduction to Marin Hinkle and Stephanie Hsu, who both always absolutely astonished and captivated. Listening to either of them in a scene was music to the ears with impeccable timing of delivering dialogue. There’s also Luke Kirby being so damn good he took a character that was potentially going to be a one-off for a scene and became a series staple. Kudos Michael Zegen as Joel, who brought sincerity and warmth to a complicated character from beginning to end. And that’s only the main cast, not counting the breadth of talented actors who were recurring or in one-off scenes.

And of course, no one has anything to work without a talented team of writers, led by Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino. I had my frustrations with S4 and aspects S5, but I'm still grateful for it all, and for ending the show on a high. (…though can someone just let ASP do a musical? For everyone’s sakes. Said with affection.) Finding out TMMM got one less season from Amazon than planned definitely made a few aspects of S5 make more sense. I’m curious what the original six season plan was, but I ultimately feel like five seasons is the perfect amount for a such a character driven show as TMMM.

On a personal note, it wasn’t until the last few episodes were airing that I realized how big a loss TMMM ending was going to be for me. I can’t remember the last show that has been so near and dear to me for so many years. I can't believe it started in 2017! It's rare I catch a show from when the first episode airs to the end. Watching S1 feels like a lifetime ago, and so much has changed in my life since. To compound this, TMMM was a special show I got to enjoy with family as well – a rare case of our tastes aligning, with the joy of sometimes getting to watch it together if life and timing worked out. I’ll always have extremely fond memories of savoring S2 and the hilarity of the Catskills with my mother. It was a brief moment of respite in an otherwise extremely stressful year.

With S5 coming to a close, I can comfortably say The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is one of my all-time favorite television series. It wasn’t a flawless run, but few shows are -- and the highs are incredible and rarely matched. I’m very spoiled that three of my favorite shows in recent years ended with stellar finales that beautifully encapsulated the show: Black Sails, Better Call Saul, and now The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Now that I've contentedly seen Midge give her curtain call, I’m off to watch the Succession finale and catch up on Barry.

It's still crazy to me that The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Ted Lasso, Succession, and Barry will end within a week of each other. Goddamn.

#the marvelous mrs maisel

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mirkwoodest · 2 years

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Everyone say thank you to Our Flag Means Death writer Alex Sherman for posting this, I'll treasure it always 🙏

#our flag means death #taika waititi #will arnett #alex sherman #txt #actors

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 2 months

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More BTS: Extras

For those who won't get to see it on Samba's Story, just a quick video of the lovely extras, and a sneaky Joel Fry at the end. Thank you to all the amazing extras that made all these scenes so real! (And thank you Alex Sherman for your sacrifice).

#joel fry #kristian nairn #samba schutte #ofmd bts #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd extras

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sylvies-chen · 6 months

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ASS. thank you alex sherman

#abby liveblogs #ofmd s2 spoilers

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are-they-z · 6 months

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Supporters of #NoHostageLeftBehind Open Letter to Joe Biden - Part 1/2

The letter consists of lies, no mention of Palestinian genocides, and a call for ceasefire.

Read the full letter:

Dear President Biden,

We are heartened by Friday's release of the two American hostages, Judith Ranaan and her daughter Natalie Ranaan [Raanan] and by today's release of two Israelis, Nurit Cooper and Yocheved Lifshitz, whose husbands remain in captivity.

But our relief is tempered by our overwhelming concern that 220 innocent people, including 30 children, remain captive by terrorists, threatened with torture and death. They were taken by Hamas in the savage massacre of October 7, where over 1,400 Israelis were slaughtered—women raped, families burned alive, and infants beheaded.

Thank you for your unshakable moral conviction, leadership, and support for the Jewish people, who have been terrorized by Hamas since the group's founding over 35 years ago, and for the Palestinians, who have also been terrorized, oppressed, and victimized by Hamas for the last 17 years that the group has been governing Gaza.

We all want the same thing: Freedom for Israelis and Palestinians to live side by side in peace. Freedom from the brutal violence spread by Hamas. And most urgently, in this moment, freedom for the hostages.

We urge everyone to not rest until all hostages are released. No hostage can be left behind. Whether American, Argentinian, Australian, Azerbaijani, Brazilian, British, Canadian, Chilean, Chinese, Danish, Dutch, Eritrean, Filipino, French, German, Indian, Israeli, Italian, Kazakh, Mexican, Panamanian, Paraguayan, Peruvian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, South African, Spanish, Sri Lankan, Thai, Ukrainian, Uzbekistani or otherwise, we need to bring them home.

Supporters:

Adam & Jackie Sandler

Amy Schumer

Aaron Sorkin

Barry Diller

Behati Prinsloo

Bella Thorne

Ben Stiller

Bob Odenkirk

Bobbi Brown

Bradley Cooper

Brett Gelman

Chris Rock

Constance Wu

Courteney Cox

David Alan Grier

David Chang

David Geffen

David Oyelowo

Diane Von Furstenberg

Eli Roth

Emma Seligman

Eric Andre

Ewan McGregor

Gal Gadot

Gwyneth Paltrow

Harvey Keitel

Isla Fisher

Jack Black

James Brolin

Jason Blum

Jason Sudeikis

Jeff Goldblum

Jerry Seinfeld

Jesse Plemons

Jessica Biel

Jessica Seinfeld

Joey King

John Slattery

Jon Hamm

Jordan Peele

Josh Brolin

Judd Apatow

Judge Judy Sheindlin

Julia Garner

Julianna Margulies

Julie Rudd

Justin Theroux

Justin Timberlake

Karlie Kloss

Katy Perry

Kirsten Dunst

Lana Del Rey

Laura Dern

Liev Schreiber

Madonna

Martin Short

Michelle Williams

Mila Kunis

Nicola Peltz

Noa Tishby

Olivia Wilde

Orlando Bloom

Paul & Julie Rudd

Richard Jenkins

Rita Ora

Ross Duffer

Sacha Baron Cohen

Sam Levinson

Sarah Paulson

Sean Combs

Shira Haas

Sting & Trudie Styler

Taika Waititi

Thomas Kail

Tiffany Haddish

Tyler Perry

Will Ferrell

Andy Cohen

Alex Edelman

Amy Sherman Palladino

Aubrey Plaza

Barry Levinson

Billy Crystal

Brad Falchuk

Brian Grazer

Bridget Everett

Brooke Shields

Chelsea Handler

Chloe Fineman

Chris Jericho

Colleen Camp

David Schwimmer

Dawn Porter

Dean Cain

Debra Messing

Elisabeth Shue

Erin Foster

Eugene Levy

Gene Stupinski

Gina Gershon

Guy Oseary

Henry Winkler

Holland Taylor

James Corden

Jason Reitman

Jessica Elbaum

Jimmy Carr

Jonathan Ross

Josh Charles

Juliette Lewis

Kristen Schaal

Kristin Chenoweth

Lea Michele

Mark Foster

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Matthew Weiner

Michael Rappaport

Molly Shannon

Noah Schnapp

Pattie LuPone

Regina Spektor

Sara Foster

Sarah Cooper

Scott Braun

Seth Meyers

Sharon Stone

Zack Snyder

Zoey Deutch

Zosia Mamet

Zoe Saldana

Alex Aja

Aaron Bay-Schuck

Amy Chozick

Aron Coleite

Adam Goodman

Alan Grubman

Adam Levine

Allan Loeb

Amy Pascal

Angela Robinson

Antonio Campos

Anthony Russo

Alexandra Shiva

Andrew Singer

Alison Statter

Alona Tal

Ali Wentworth

Ari Dayan

Ari Greenburg

Arik Kneller

Ashley Levinson

Asif Satchu

Barbara Hershey

Barry Rosenstein

Beau Flynn

Ben Turner

Ben Winston

Ben Younger

Blair Kohan

Bobby Kotick

Brad Slater

Bradley Fischer

Bruna Papandrea

Cameron Curtis

Casey Neistat

Cazzie David

Charles Roven

Chris Fischer

Christian Carino

Cindi Berger

Claire Coffee

Craig Silverstein

Dan Aloni

Dan Rosenweig

Dana Goldberg

Dana Klein

Danny Strong

Daniel Palladino

Danielle Bernstein

Danny Cohen

Daphne Kastner

David Bernad

David Baddiel

David Ellison

David Gilmour &

Polly Sampson

David Goodman

David Joseph

David Kohan

David Lowery

Deborah Lee Furness

Deborah Snyder

Donny Deutsch

Doug Liman

Douglas Chabbott

Eddy Kitsis

Edgar Ramirez

Elizabeth Himelstein

Embeth Davidtz

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Erik Feig

Evan Jonigkeit

Evan Winiker

Francis Benhamou

Francis Lawrence

Fred Raskin

#palestine #palestinian genocide #gaza #apartheid #celebs #propaganda

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