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judeswhore · 5 months

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nsfw alphabet

summary: nsfw alphabet

pairing: levi colwill x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, minors dni

notes: you can find my masterlist here. idk how i feel abt this but ask and u shall receive <3 i hope u enjoy it!!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

sweetest boy ever! gets a little sleepy but still makes sure ur taken care of before anything else. checks in that ur okay and just has to ask if it was good and ur staring at him all🤨🤨bc ur thighs are still shaking. will grab u water and something clean to change into, helps get u cleaned up and if u want he’ll run u the shower. he likes to just lay with u for a little after, fingers trailing over ur bare skin while he lets u recover, lips soft on ur shoulder while he mutters that he loves u

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

on him he loves his arms just because of how feral u go over them and his tattoos. he’ll find u randomly staring at them throughout the day and he gets so cocky bc he’ll just flex his fingers or biceps and you’ll go all wide eyed and he can see how hot and bothered it gets u. he loves fingering u and feeling u dig ur nails into his forearm and it makes him so hard when ur gaze stays locked on his arm while he works u to ur orgasm but he’s a little shit sometimes so just as ur abt to cum he’ll be all “eyes up here, sweetheart” bc he wants u to look at him

on u he’s obsessed with ur hands and how small they are bc it reminds him how much smaller u are than him and that makes his head spin. he loves holding ur hand and seeing how his just engulfs urs and he’s obsessed w watching u touch him!!! handjobs r one of his favourite things ever and he’ll just sit and watch u work ur fist around him bc there’s something so hot abt how u cant wrap ur fingers completely around him. also he’s 100% and arse man so he’s definitely obsessed w ur arse and he’ll tell u it’s one of his favourite things abt u with no shame. loves fucking in doggy just so he can slap it and watch u get all teary eyed for him🤭🤭

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

he definitely has a thing for coming on ur pussy/tummy/arse and taking pics of it😵‍💫has an album on his phone specifically for these pics that he looks at whenever ur apart and he’s feeling a little horny. will cum on u and then tell u how pretty and perfect u are and he knows that goes to ur head and he loves it. teases u tho and is so mean w it bc he knows u like when he cums inside of u (and he does too) but if you’ve been a brat or he’s just feeling extra mean even when ur begging him to fill u up he’ll pull out and cum on ur pussy just to see u get all pouty w him

D = Dirty secret (self explanatory, a secret of theirs)

he’s obsessed with fucking u in risky places or places where other people are around. the bathroom at a restaurant/club/friends house u best believe he’s dragging u in there even if it’s just to make u cum on his fingers like there’s just something so stupidly hot to him abt potentially getting caught. he’d be in ur ear the whole time as well talking abt how if ur not quiet someone’s gna come in and see what a dirty slut u are for him while trying his hardest to get u to be even louder w this cocky little smirk on his face. you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve almost been caught

E = Experience (how experienced are they)

in all things u he’s an expert. he made sure to learn every little thing that u like bc the first few times u slept together he was constantly asking u what u wanted from him/how u wanted it bc he wanted the experience to be as good as possible for u. and now he knows u like the back of his hand and can have u coming in record time just by utilising what he knows

F = Favorite position

cowgirl!!! he’s obsessed w getting u to ride him bc he loves watching u struggle to take him at first, hands on ur hips to help u while he tells u how good ur doing and how proud he is of u for taking it all😵‍💫😵‍💫loves having ur tits in his face tbh and will constantly be sucking on ur nipples and biting at ur skin bc he knows that’ll get u to finish quicker. and it gives him some sort of kick watching u get all tired and whiney, asking him to “just fuck me properly, levi. please” and then he’ll hold u still while he fucks up into u bc ofc he’ll take care of his best girl

G = Goofy (are they more serious or goofy in the moment?)

definitely a little goofy but it’s more bc he tries to make u feel as comfortable as possible and that comes out as him making little jokes to get u to laugh and relax for him. feel like he gets a little giggly sometimes while ur fucking bc you’ll make a certain noise or he will and it’ll have him hiding his face in ur neck while he tries to get it together. but his giggles will bleed into soft moans and u think it sounds so hot so ur always looking to make him laugh just to hear it

H = Hair (how well groomed are they)

keeps it all nice and neatly trimmed but it’s not really something he puts a load of effort into bc it’s hair it’s not a big deal to him

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment?)

all of his focus is on u and he makes sure that u get as much pleasure out of the experience as possible. foreplay is a huge deal for him bc he wants to get u all worked up and desperate for him and wants to make sure you’ve came at least once/twice before he fucks u bc he knows it’s sometimes a little difficult for u to cum from just penetration. and throughout the whole thing he’ll be talking u through it, praising u so much bc it’s important to him that u know how much he’s enjoying it and that u know how good ur doing for him

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

i feel like he’s a big fan of mutual masterbation🤭so he’ll sit opposite u on the bed or wtv and will get himself off while u touch urself and it drives him insane. doesn’t know where he wants to look more so his eyes are constantly bouncing over ur body and he’ll talk u through it, telling u how to touch urself and how fast to go while he’s moaning and fucking his own fist

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

idrk but i feel like he definitely has a thing for letting u take control every now and then like loves when u tie him to the bed and use him for ur own pleasure. he’s obsessed w cowgirl at the best of times but when u tie his hands back and just fuck him so slow he goes absolutely insane. loves hearing u call him a good boy and it takes everything in him not to cum on the spot when u do. also loves when u suck him off and tell him he can’t touch u bc you’ll tease him until he’s literally shaking and begging bc he needs to cum and then you’ll give him ur pretty little smile and tell him to “be patient” and it has him losing his mind

L = Location (favourite places to do the deed)

he’s obsessed w fucking in the car while it’s parked in stupidly risky places bc he can’t get over how hot the risk of it is. like he’ll just randomly pull over and park somewhere so u can fuck and there’ll be other cars around and it just makes it all so much more thrilling for him and it means whenever he’s in the car alone he can play out all the times you’ve spent together in there

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he loves neck/jaw kisses and even if u do it with the intention of being innocent levi will still go a little silly. he’ll just grip ur hip a little harder and give this quiet little groan and it always makes u giggle bc it’s so simple? and here he is abt to lose his mind. he’s definitely the type as well to get turned on by a specific perfume u own bc it reminds him of a certain time u fucked so whenever u wear it and walk passed him he’s immediately hard bc now he’s thinking abt all those dirty memories

N = No (something they wouldn’t do)

he’s too sweet to do anything that wld hurt u so even if he’s a little rough and a little mean sometimes he’d never cross a line that wld really cause u pain. even when he’s slapping ur arse whenever he hears a little sob or sees u wince a little harder than normal he’s immediately stopping and shifting to press kisses to the skin while mumbling little apologies :(

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving)

he really likes receiving bc u give the best head he’s ever had. u love teasing and drawing it out as long as possible until he’s literally shaking and can’t stay still so when he finally cums it feels 100x better. loves when u wake him up w head too!!!! like it’s his favourite thing in the world and he’s always extra sensitive so just gives these soft little whimpers that drive u crazy. he still loves eating u out tho and wld do it for hours (and he definitely drags it out when he does) but there’s just something abt being in ur mouth that absolutely ruins him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

depends on the mood tbf. he loves a quickie (will literally fuck u anywhere at any time if given the chance) but also slow and loving is so so important to him!! especially if you’ve been apart for a little while he just really wants to take his time with u and drag everything out for as long as possible with u. so many kisses while he’s fucking u so slow, fingers stroking ur cheek while he mutters over and over that he’s missed u :(( eye contact is huge! for him so he’ll just grip ur chin and be all “eyes on me, sweetheart” and it just makes it so much more intense

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often)

loves them!!!! again, any time, any place. loves summer time so he can see u in ur pretty little dresses and he can just bend u over wherever he can, pull ur underwear to the side and fuck u stupid🤭the amount of times he’s fucked u in a changing room is insane bc he just can’t help himself when u look so pretty doing a little fashion show for him. just presses u up against the wall, hand over ur mouth to keep u quiet while he fucks u from behind. or like in the car before an event/meeting friends? he’s sooo down for it. just pulls u into his lap to ride him and it’s always so obvious when u finally go meet whoever u have plans with bc u both look so disheveled and fucked out

R = Risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks)

loves experimenting with new things bc how else is he gna know what he likes? like the two of u have had so many conversations abt all the different things you’d like to try and he definitely has a list that youse check things off on. and he’s huge on fucking in risky places bc it’s just so hot to him!!! gets off on fucking u in semi public places while making u bite down on ur own underwear to keep quiet🤭

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

he’s insatiable tbf. he just gets into such a headspace that he can never just go for one round he needs to go for a least three before he even thinks abt giving u a break. mainly just bc he likes seeing u so wrecked and on the point of breaking bc he thinks u look so pretty like that🤭his favourite thing is to eat u out between rounds of fucking u bc then he gets to drag so many orgasms out of u and gets such a thrill out of seeing u all limp and fucked out on his bed

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them?)

he’s obsessed w toys!!!! loves using them on u and then mocking u abt how much it ruins u. i just have this idea of him loving those little remote control vibrators🤭🤭like u have one that he can control w his phone and he uses it whenever the two of u go to events or restaurants bc u both just love the thrill of it. he’ll just sit opposite u at the table all smirks while he’s controlling it and it gets him so worked up trying to see u keep ur cool and every time u get close to coming he switches it off just to watch u pout and whine. bonus points for if the waiter is obviously flirting with u he’ll switch it up to the highest speed to watch u struggle and get all high pitched

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s awful when it comes it teasing to the point he sometimes has u crying bc u can’t take anymore. he just loves drawing things out bc he knows the end result will be so good even if ur getting frustrated w him. and in public he absolutely loves giving u little ass slaps or whispering dirty things in ur ear just to get u to squirm and sooooo many times he’ll try and get u off while ur sitting next to him but stops before u get anywhere near finishing while acting like nothings happening. and he knows u get all hot and bothered abt his hands so he’ll purposely do things to flex them and show them off then gets all cocky when he sees the way ur looking at him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

oh he’s loud. and whiney. so so whiney. is always in ur ear giving u so much praise and babbling that he loves u and gets a little higher in pitch when he’s abt to cum and it’s just so so hot. loves to talk u through literally everything and whenever he talks u through head/handjobs it gets u soooo worked up bc he just sounds so hot

W = Wild Card (get a random headcanon for the person of your choice)

he loves taking polaroids during sex and has a whole photo album stuffed in his bottom draw that’s just full of dirty pictures. like he has a select few videos/pics on his phone that he looks at when he’s away but he mainly uses polaroids bc he just thinks it’s so much hotter? u can tell which pictures are his favourites too bc the corners are a little more rough and bent where he’s tugged them out. he also keeps one in his wallet tucked just behind one of his cards that he peeks at every now and then when no one’s paying attention and it’s a full shot of ur tits and face, covered in cum while ur grinning up at him and it’s genuinely one of his favourite pictures ever

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

big. thick. it took a while to get used to his size and u still struggle to take all of him sometimes, especially if u haven’t had sex in a while but he always talks u through it and makes sure u know how good ur doing. strokes his fingers over ur cheek and peppers u in kisses while being all “just a bit more, sweetheart, i know u can take the rest f’me. good girl, look how well ur doing. knew u could take it all”

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s horny all the time. he wants to fuck u all the time and it only gets worse when you’ve been apart for a few days. the second ur home he just has to have u bc it’s all he’s been thinking abt and he’ll just be kissing u senseless, burying himself completely into u while repeatedly mumbling little “missed you”s into ur skin

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

sooo quickly bc he’s always so wrecked afterwards. he’ll help get u cleaned up and make sure ur okay but then he’s begging for cuddles and he’s already letting his eyes fall closed. will just pull u into him or will flop down on top of u and be all “just gimme ten minutes” but u know for a fact he’s gna have a full blown nap. it’s why he absolutely loves middle of the night sex bc it completely knocks him out

#levi colwill #levi rambles🧸#levi colwill x reader #levi colwill smut #levi colwill fluff #levi colwill fic #levi colwill blurb #levi colwill one shot

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haerin1 · 8 months

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hcs you have for Scara? Love seeing new writers around here 🫶

꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ SCARA HEADCANNONS.

note: omh ty for the req !! i did 2 versions bcause i got carried away UM anw enjoy xoxo kisses hugs :33

[wanderer!scara, modern au!scara x gn!reader] fluff, pinches of angst, mentioned mommy issues and trust issues !!

modern au scara !!

Scara is definitely a band kid and in my opinion, he'd absolutely be an electric bassist. He carries around the band-aids you gave him so he can use one whenever his fingertips get cut from the tough strings of the instrument.

Scara loves judging everybody in his classes and making people uncomfortable because he's a menace like that. His narrowed sapphire gaze following certain people with ill thoughts and a slight grimace; you already know he's judging them real hard.

It's simply impossible for him to go a day, no, even an hour, without his headphones and downloaded music from his favourite artists. Scara's music taste consists mostly of Chase Atlantic, Artic Monkeys, TV Girl, Cigarettes After Sex and he's a closeted Mitski listener.

Mommy issues and miscommunication trope with Ei. Scara aspires to be anything else but the occupation Ei suggested for him. Ei compares Scara to his sister, Raiden, without knowing it hurts Scara's feelings because she's bad at communicating and getting her words right overall.

Shops at Hot Topic and Miniso. Miniso, because he only goes there for the Kuromi stuff that reminds him of you (since you're always telling him how you and him are literally Kuromi and Badtzmaru) and Hot Topic is self-explanatory.

Adding onto the Kuromi and Badtzmaru topic. Ever since you made that comment, Scara ended up loving that specific pair of cute Sanrio characters. He now owns a Badtzmaru hoodie (yours is a Kuromi one: hashtag couple goals), five Kuromi figures and more than thirty things consist of Badtzmaru in his bedroom.

Scara's bedroom is neat but messy at the same time. The room is fairly big and he has his bassist on its stand in the corner of the room with a huge Badtzmaru plushie sitting on the floor by it. His bed is filled with your gifts of plushies from past dates or occasions.

Scara has an area dedicated to his favourite music artists with posters of their albums plastered to the black painted wall. You bought him TV Girl's French Exit vinyl for his birthday, which he always plays on the record player whenever you come over or when he's missing you (by missing you, I mean whenever you're not with him).

Everytime you mention a new song you like, Scara immediately learns it on his bass so he can impress you. You find it so cute how these little gestures of his are all for your compliments and affection when all he could do is breathe and you'd be head over heels for him.

Scara is unfiltered, cunning and a tease. He'll say whatever he wants at any given time and doesn't mind what people think at all (he fights back the urge to rock someone's shit when they disagree with him.) He's your cute little drama queen.

genshin au scara (wanderer) !!

Wanderer's favourite time of day is when the sun starts to set and he gets to have his long awaited tea time with you. You know the perfect way on how to make his tea and it's so natural to the point of when Wanderer tastes any other tea, it just can't compare to the way you make it.

Despite loving you very dearly, and he'd never admit this last bit aloud, he still has some sort of doubt against you. Should something happen to you that marks your permanent disappearance that neither you or him could prevent, what would he do? Wanderer simply does not know. And he certainly wouldn't want to know.

Wanderer enjoys the feeling of your hands in his hair. Whether your hands are soft, rough, cold, or warm, he doesn't mind. He just loves feeling your gentle and affectionate touch against his head as you play with his hair or even braid some strands together.

In general, Wanderer loves physical touch. Holding hands, soft kisses and hugs; It's all so wonderful to him. It makes him feel wanted and loved, like you actually think of him dearly. He loves it especially when you initiate it first. After that, he'll be more than comfortable doing it without waiting for you to do it ahead of him.

Wanderer keeps all of the silly trinkets, gifts and letters you've given him in a box that's kept in a very safe place where no one knows, not even you. Everytime he comes across it, unknowingly to him, a soft smile forms on his lips as he remembers the fact that he's this important to you.

Wanderer absolutely adores it when he makes you smile or laugh. He'll proudly smirk and throw in a teasing remark at this but is hiding the fact that he's just an embarrassed doll with an adorable lover. He loves making you feel good, both verbally and physically, as it feeds his ego and reassures him that he's doing great at being your beloved.

Wanderer's gifts for you are usually handmade, like the cute doll that looks like you which he got to keep so he could give you a doll that looks like him in return. He loves seeing you carry the doll around with you when you want to take it out of your messenger bag, holding it so gently as if it were Wanderer himself.

Whenever you're not paying attention, Wanderer looks at you and observes you. He loves noticing new little things about you, like the way you make little popping noises with your lips when you're bored or the way you subconsciously reach out to hold onto his hand. He adores every, single, little thing.

Wanderer often finds himself trying to impress you. If he sees you walking about, he'll immediately find something heavy to pick up and "coincidentally" run into you so he can make sure you see his amazing skills. You find this habit of his somewhat adorable as you smile and praise him for his strengths. He ends up getting quite flustered, in the end.

Depending on Wanderer's mood, he'll be very flirty one moment or very shy the next. If you manage to outdo him with his charming comments, trust me, he turns into the cutest blushing mess ever. He'll look away as he denies your question about whether he became timid or not.

🐾🍫🍮 : © haerin1 (do not translate, steal or take too much inspo from my works)

#✮+ cyvie's web library !#gender neutral reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche modern au #genshin modern au #scaramouche fanfic #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche fanfics #scaramouche fanfiction #scaramouche fluff #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #scaramouche imagines #kunikuzushi #wanderer

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charl3ss · 8 months

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My thesis of The Crows as Taylor Swift Albums because I’m on a long car ride right now and I don’t have anything else to do lol:

Kaz: reputation. This one is self self-explanatory. Reputation fronts as a very dark, edgy, revenge filled album, which it is, BUT under the surface, it’s actually a deeply emotional/romantic album, which is just extremely Kaz. LWYMMD is at the top of my as of now purely hypothetical Kaz magnum opus playlist.

Inej: Speak Now. Speak Now is a album that’s about growing up and picking yourself up after you’ve been wronged, which is definitely Inej. One of her best qualities is her strength, resolve, and ability to maintain her faith and hope. I love her <3

Matthias: This was the hardest because I was torn between Midnights and Fearless, but I’m going to give it to Fearless. As Taylor herself says, it’s an album about the “fearlessness of falling in love” and about entering a new stage in your life, which is literally the thesis of Matthias’ whole arc.

Wylan: folklore. I feel like this is also kind of self-explanatory, but folklore is a very dreamy album that’s filled with lots of depressing things, yes, but it ends on a bit more of a hopeful note. It’s also a very isolated album in vibes which is definitely Wylan. Before he lets himself get close with the other crows, he’s very alone. Wylan Van Eck, army of one and all.

Nina: Red. Red is an album that goes from incredibly upbeat songs to incredibly depressing ones which is very Nina. It’s a fun album that uses these upbeat songs to offset/mask all of the sadness which is definitely Nina.

Jesper: 1989. Besides the fact that 1989 is just a very upbeat album with lots of fun dance songs, it also explores sadder topics like loneliness and feeling like you’re not enough, but it’s not always noticed at first listen because of the fun tempo. That’s very Jesper, who uses his fun loving persona as a kind of deflection.

Also, bonus: Kanej is evermore, Helnik is Midnights, and Wesper is Lover

#feel free to debate but I know in my heart that I’m right <3 #six of crows #betsey rambles #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #jesper fahey #kanej #helnik #wesper

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2024-grimoire-challenge · 6 months

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December Prep 2

Let's look into a couple of things this week The first is how to properly study, research and gather information and the second is the various kinds of prompts you will see in the challenge throughout the year.

The basic steps in any research process are

Identify and develop your topic (we will have multiple so it will be important to follow the same steps for each topic.)

Preliminary search for information - we will be gathering a list of resources for everyone before the challenge begins including websites, a list of recommended books, and more.

Locate the information/ materials - Gather all your sources into one place! A folder on your pc, or a bookmark bar in your browser can go a long way to helping you keep this organized.

Evaluate and use Discernment on your informational sources.

Take notes! - self explanatory. Using the resources at your disposal, take notes on your selected topic, gather all of those notes, and keep them organized. You don't need to think of this in exact terms of a research paper, but the idea is the same! All of your notes will be helpful in actually filling and creating the pages for your grimoire! But, you also can just keep the notes as they are in your grimoire!

Now lets get on to the types of prompts you will see!

Meditation/ Journal - these will generally be the end of every week and after every practical prompt, so you can look back at what you've done and learned, in order to help you process what you'd done and how you feel and think about it.

Research/ Study - these will include things like herbs, gems, types of magical practices and topics, tools, history

Practical/ Hands on - at least one a week, where you get your hands dirty, so to speak, and really perform some magic or do the work you're studying.

Submissions - I encourage everyone to share their thoughts, ideas, and physical progress within the challenge. You don't have to share pictures, if you're not comfortable, but thoughts and ideas and a short post about what you accomplished!

Holiday/ Seasonal posts - We'll have posts for the typical holidays and some that not so common.

Divination prompts - On occasion we'll have a divination prompt. It won't necessarily require you to perform any divination if you're not comfortable or don't know how, but the option will be there!

Cooking prompt - We've all seen those cool witchy inspired cooking posts on this site. So why not do one? Why not learn to make bread? Or mead? Or cute little pastries? Or anything. This'll be a new prompt, one I encourage everyone to take part in and share!

There may be more of these added as we go, but in general this is all of the types of posts we'll be seeing!

What else is there to do?

Well if you’ve already got notes somewhere (a notebook or files on your computer or what have you) you’re gonna want to actually design a grimoire right? And this is a grimoire challenge right? So let’s look at different design and style options!

If you’ve seen the video I posted of my grimoire pages, they’re very scrapbook/ junk journal styled. Which is a fun and totally customizable option.

Let’s look at some note taking methods, to help us take notes as well as design our grimoire pages, and some scrapbook supplies and ideas for ways to decorate our grimoires.

https://crm.org/news/note-taking-methods#:~:text=There%20are%20many%20different%20methods,and%20Bullet%20Method%2C%20among%20others.

These are just a few links for some ideas.

Your grimoire should suit you, no matter how you choose to design and decorate it. It could be a scrapbook like mine, a bullet note journal, or a leather bound tome with thick ink lettering in a cipher that only you can read. However you want to design it, it should be an expression of you and your practice.

I am excited to be running this challenge again, and to be helping all of your find inspiration for your practices and grimoires!

Good luck and happy crafting!

Mod Hazel

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flowerflowerflo · 28 days

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bee's record player, april edition 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 INTRO

welcome back to the second issue of bee's record player, a monthly annual look into bee's music world and the latest from hers and your faves! enjoy! ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

minisode 3: tomorrow, tomorrow x together

♡ released april 1st, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: deja vu, quarter life

♡ running time: 17 minutes 2 seconds

midas touch, kiss of life

♡ released april 3rd, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 6 minutes 15 seconds

found heaven, conan gray

♡ released april 5th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: found heaven, alley rose, bourgeoiseses, never ending song, winner

♡ running time: 36 minutes 47 seconds

espresso, sabrina carpenter

♡ released april 12th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 2 minutes 55 seconds

dark vacay, cigarettes after sex

♡ released april 16th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 33 seconds

the tortured poets department: the anthology, taylor swift

♡ released april 19th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: fortnight, loml, fresh out the slammer, but daddy i love him, florida!!!

♡ running time: 2 hours 2 minutes

yuq1, yuqi

♡ released april 23rd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: freak, drink it up, red rover

♡ running time: 19 minutes 19 seconds

bubble gum, newjeans

♡ released april 26th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 3 minutes 41 seconds

bewitched: the goddess edition, laufey

♡ released april 26th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: goddess, promise, dreamer, must be love, trouble, from the start

♡ running time: 1 hour 1 minute

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. quarter life, tomorrow x together

THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING TO ME YOU DONT GET IT. YOU ACTUALLY DONT UNDWRSTAND YOUNWILL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY INTENSE OVERWHELMING INDESCRIBABLE LOVE FOR THIS SONG. I LOVE IT SO MUCH

♡ 9. read your mind, sabrina carpenter

I CANT READ UR MIND🗣🗣shes so real for this whole song and its sUCH a vibe who allowed her to make this song and just give it to us. like. For Free. what the fuck. perfect

♡ 8. bring it on, fromis_9

this song is so girlypop ive been so obsessed???? fromis 9 are so underrated i swear like unlock my world has to be one of my favourite albums of all time ever. in love!

♡ 7. i'll see you there tomorrow, tomorrow x together

@bananacatmeow THERE'LL BE NO MORE SORROW I'LL SEE U THERE TMOROW 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥 self explanatory i fucking love this song so much actually

♡ 6. bad for business, sabrina carpenter

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT <3 its a little more recent thats why its only on number 6 but it reminds me of my princess and i just love it in general so this song is the loml. ONE OF MY FAV SABRINA SONGS EVERR I LOVE ITTTT <3

♡ 5. smart, le sserafim

yes this is on my top 10 again.... this song goes so hard im sorry idk what to tell u 😕

♡ 4. bad news, kiss of life

okay i wasnt actually expecting this to be on here but bad news has to be the best kiof song like ever honestly beats everything. the high notes give me life and this whole album is my chaotic girl anthem honestly

♡ 3. the killa, tomorrow x together

self explanatory. the tinnitus effect goes so hard on this song i cant explain i want to inject it into my blood genuinely the most ass shaking song released this year or like ever for that matter go txt slut era!!!

♡ 2. espresso, sabrina carpenter

my give a fucks are on vacationnnn 🎀 I FUCKING LOVE THIS SOBG OH MY GOSHHHHHH IVE BEEN SO OBSESSED ALL MONTH. SABRINA I LOVE U SO BAD THIS SONG IS MY EVERYTHING. AJJAJSJAJSJSSJJSJSDJNSNSNSNAJDJ

♡ 1. deja vu, tomorrow x together

no words. music video made me sob my heart out and this song touched me so deeply i cant even begin to explain. txt ilysm

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. emails i can't send, sabrina carpenter

we were all expecting this be honest 😭 i have quite literally NOT SHUT UP about this album the WHOLE MONTH and ive been so obsessed w sabrina its actually insane like this was so obvious actually 😭💓

♡ 2. minisode 3: tomorrow, tomorrow x together

once again self explanatory i had had such a bad breakdown like a few days before this came out and the deja vu mv made me cry so bad because of the sheer fact it resonated with me so much 😭 i love them so much and they did amazing AS ALWAYS txt never misses 💓💓💓

♡ 3. the tortured poets department, taylor swift

the way i actually really didnt like this album at first??? its grown on me so much though the lyric writing is IMMACULATE and i feel its more focused on lyrics and writing more than production this time unlike midnights, which was probably why it didnt instantly click with me straight away. comfort album

♡ 4. fake it flowers, beabadoobee

IM SO EXCITED FOR BEA3 YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. fake it flowers is like the loml i love fake it flowers more than i love my life fake it flowers is love fake it flowers is life everybody worship fake it flowers now

♡ 5. back to black, amy winehouse

I LOVE AMY WINEHOUSE SO MUCH RAHHH THE MOVIE AB HER CAME OUT THIS MONTH AND IVE BEEN RELISTENING TO BACK TO BLACK AND IM SO OBSESSED 😭😭😭💕💕💕

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER (woahh im so shocked ahahah i didnt expect this at all)

♡ SABRINA CARPENTER (woahhhh im so surprised ahahahaha)

♡ TAYLOR SWIFT (ttpd my love)

♡ BEABADOOBEE (YOSHIMI FOREST MAGDALENE 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️📢📢📢)

♡ TWICE (obviously.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ coachella this month!!! le sserafim girls i love you so bad but this performance was NOT IT 😭 sabrina u were amazing though bb ily carried the whole show

♡ AND I DONT EVEN CARE IF IT MAKES ME SOUND INSANE I RAN MY FINGERS THROUFH YOUR HAIR AND I THANKED GOD TO TOUCH THE FLAME CUZ I SWORE NECKS WERE.MADE FOR BRUISING I SWORE LIPS WERE MADE FOR LIES AND I THOUGHT IF YOUD EVER LEAVE ME THAT ID BE THE REASON WHY

♡ im the biggest alley rose stan FIGHT ME.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

thank you so much for reading this month's edition of bee's record player! i have so much fun writing these and rambling about my silly music and i hope you enjoy them too 💕 if there's anybody or anything you'd like me to mention, edit, or keep up with in these, then always feel free to tell me, im always open to new suggestions!

lots of love, and until next month! ♡

44 notes · View notes

pigeon-smidge · 3 months

Text

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven. ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings.

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences.

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it.

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’, but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’ is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand), Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

‘we could’ve been …. us.’

‘our side.’

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song).

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him. ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!!

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’ Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy.

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from.

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him.

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness.

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me).

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

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toskarin · 2 months

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I got a few questions about what was going on with SUGARBABYLOVE, so I started typing it out and then stopped and realised it'd be much funnier to do an extremely granular point-by-point explanation of nearly every single reference and influence in it

how serious am I being? either entirely shitposting or being completely transparent. intentionally left blank as an exercise in reader imagination. nightmare post below the break

all lovers make the same mistakes

BLUE SIDE

Sugar Baby Love, Les Blue Belles - the namesake of the piece, and also where I colourpicked the original background from

Komeiji Satori, Touhou Project - the Łucja on the left's personality is inspired by Satori

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - not actually referenced directly in Łucja's design, but a later reference makes this important to point out now

Litchi☆Hikari Club - I didn't realise it until after I finished, but I was 100% unconsciously focusing this image on hands because of L☆HC

Las dos Fridas - somewhat inherited imagery from the Komeijis, but I did have it in mind

Subarashiki Hibi ~Furenzoku Sonzai~ - the background, faintly visible at the top of the image, is based on a certain cool hideout. also note the Łucjas' eyes, for no particular reason

Thurible - the cross at the centre of the image rests on top of a thurible. because the top and bottom of the middle section are obscured, it rests mostly out of frame

Embryonic Rabbit and La Vierge au Lapin - the smoke enveloping the central cross is taking the shape of an embryonic rabbit, not quite fully developed, not quite corporeal

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - the X pins on Łucja's hat are actually hairpins that she moves up when wearing the hat. in this image, the second Łucja has swapped hers for straight pins

Komeiji Koishi, Touhou Project - the left Łucja's exhausted expression has been switched out for an empty smile. cute!

Altarpiece - the layout of the image is inspired by an altarpiece, albeit with certain sections obscured. accordingly, the piece centres on an (embryonic) rabbit wrapped around a cross

ORANGE SIDE

Berserk - it's kind of hard to include eclipse imagery without pulling from Berserk if you're poisoned. it goes without saying that I am poisoned.

Mushi, The Stalin - this album art was always really striking to me, so it was only natural to homage it. I'm actually a pretty big fan of The Stalin, so references to them show up in a (kind of embarrassing) amount of my creative output

Trash, The Stalin - the mass of gory hands is kind of self-explanatory here

De fornas likgaldrar, Bekëth Nexëhmü - this one requires extra explanation because I fucked up and got a story wrong. during the recording of an album, one member of this duo tried to strangle the other and they broke up the band for a while. the problem is that I misremembered, because it wasn't De fornas likgaldrar that got delayed, it was De dunkla herrarna. so this is an entirely aesthetic pull now.

Eastern Cross and Brazen Serpent - this one's kind of hard to explain if you don't know what Bartholomew's crosier looks like, but it's being gestured at with Ophian imagery as things get more chaotic towards the centre of the image

Gleb Sysoev - while the straps aren't visible in this image after colouring, the outfit both Łucjas are wearing is somewhere between a gakuran and the outfit Gleb often wears while performing with Ultar

Squigly - the snake wrapping around the right Łucja emerged after I got frustrated with how out-of-place her crab claw looked and opted not to include it. I still wanted one really confusing thing in the image, and I ended up landing on using Squigly's Parasite

That One Fucking Scene From Gokseong/The Wailing - another case of me misremembering something, except this time it was the context of the scene literally warping my memory of it. you know the one scene in the cave? I thought it included a much closer shot of the stranger's eyes. I might have mixed it up in my head with that one scene from Insidious, but oh well lol

Angel's curse whispered in the edge of despair, Envy - it got drawn over to the point where it's not entirely obvious, but the background behind Łucja was originally based on this album art

Melty Blood: Actress Again: Current Code Character Select - honestly kind of self-explanatory I hope

why'd you read all that

#doodles #you can read this as a case study in what happens when someone tries to include a few references and ADHD takes the wheel

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nguyenfinity · 5 months

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New year new me (drawing) and tag directory!

You can call me Daisy/Sana I don’t really care jdhskshd

Requests/ask box are always open!! It’s just a uh matter of when I get to them—

Currently most focused on Enstars, Genshin, Tian Guan Ci Fu, Apothecary Diaries

Other things I like that weren’t mentioned: RWBY, Ya Boy Kongming, Demon Slayer, Yuki Yuna is a Hero, Arpeggio of Blue Steel, Magia Record, Ninjago, Cookie Run, Honkai Star Rail

Heartbeat! Revival Note Counter: 2121 (as of 2/8 11:41 PM EST)

Tags below:

#original art: self explanatory methinks

#music art: art I do based on certain songs/albums!

#daisy’s ocs: also self explanatory methinks, for a specific oc it’s just “oc [name]”

Current OCs: Maya, Kongou, Eris, Agape, Panopte, Perla, Diamond, Ria, Riam, Winter

#magic pretzel: comics in my lil chibi style

If you like my comics I do have a WEBTOON!

#sananigans: quick-doodle real life shenanigans

#doodle req: specific doodle requests from the inbox!

#inbox doodle: not requested but an ask I attached a drawing to anyways

#sana postal service: any and all things from the inbox

Fandom tags: #genshin, #enstars, #madoka magica, #cookie run, #honkai star rail

#get shuffled: other people's shuffles I draw #street art shuffle: shuffle made by @/spixi !!! #kintsugi shuffle: shuffle made by @/bankarayouth !!!

#lil brohaku: Kohaku being the bees’ resident little brother

#pokemonstars: Pokémon+Enstars (these posts are not tagged pokemon) #pokemonstars ask: from da inbox #pokemonstars hc: headcanons #pokemonstars team: full team for a character

#genshin oc, #pmmm oc

#cindeniki (thanks Neptune for the name): Cinderella AU for Enstars Niki from @/niicookie !!!

#mamagi: stuff with my design for mother Amagi (who is totally not dead ahahahaha)

#insanabean: joint fan event project with @/posebean where we are entirely sane and normal about Rinniki Enstars

#meet the artist #tag directory #last updated 1/4/24

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gayofthefae · 4 months

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Here it is. The Mike Wheeler Playlist Post.

So I finished it. What seems to be the end of season 4, at least. I am avoiding spoilers for myself. All 28 songs from Smalltown Boy to Mad World. Here is what I have deduced:

Mike got over El after she left and started liking Will, but when she came back, he got with her motivated by the grief of “what could have been” but once they got together he felt that the relationship was aimless, only staying because it was familiar. He pursued getting back together with her because he didn’t want to lose her, despite feeling that the spark wasn’t there anymore. His fight with Will makes him question their relationship again but he ultimately doesn’t believe Will reciprocates and regrets even going back down that path. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do when Will moves. He can’t get Will out of his head and, though secrecy is the only safe thing, he’s getting worn down with it and is increasingly considering taking action in his relationship with El because his feelings for Will make him happy and don’t seem to be going anywhere. He’s getting anxious as it gets closer but Will talking to him in the van gives him a lot of security, but then the moment comes and he lies and feels absolutely horrible about it. He feels like he’s just running in circles. More inaction. Over a year now of just inaction.

There are 19 songs left which feels like a lot for one season as I've said before but in defense of that on top of just the consistent alignment with plot points in the playlist this far, season 5 is going to go back in and reveal a lot of this stuff with some very complicated emotions and much more focus on him, his feelings, his trauma, and his overall relationship with Will. So there IS a lot there to fill songs with. If you would like to read my original semi-chaotic notes from the past 5 hours(you read that correctly. You're welcome. And yes I know the full playlist I didn't even finish is only 3.5 hours) listed by song and including bits I skipped over so that it wouldn't be horribly long, lyric quotes, and one link to a cover analysis, you can do so under the cut.

Scared closeted gay kid in a smalltown in the 80s (confirmed by the songwriter, widely known in this fandom)

He sees Will everywhere.

This girl’s really cool and knows about things I don’t

Alien abduction - ET Parallels.

This song is an instrumental but the title “In The Face of Evil” is self-explanatory

El heroically sacrificed herself for everyone. She is a hero because she is the type of person to make that choice.*sweet that his love isn't hero worship, that's just how he conveys it.

He’s haunted by the memories of El, seeing her face everywhere.

Over time, “absence makes the heart lose weight” and his feelings for her fade

He’s starting to experience a new and scarily tempting, intoxicating kind of love. (based on context…for Will)

This song is an instrumental but the title is “Beta Girl Lost in Forever”. There is a great cover art analysis by @digestionsack at #20 of the post linked here but I could not find anything on the original meaning of the song or album. I couldn't find like anything else on Google of this one's meaning there were under 300 results when I searched in quotes.

This song is a duet that looks back on the relationship of a boy who helped lift up a girl from a very low and helpless place but the girl is now gone and he wants her to need him again and a girl who always had ambitions not dependent on him from the start and appreciated the time they spent together but needed independence now.

He feels an uncontrollable love that’s taking all his focus that he “can’t shake” but “makes [him] feel so blue” (for Will given the last love song)*this is to say nothing of his self awareness. (though could have convinced himself he got over it as opposed to never having known? *consistent with the s3 fight words)

A song about teenage love. Kinda horny.*He's in love and a little bit horny in the season checks notes...without El?

It’s “Ghostbusters”. It makes sense in a literal context but for the record this song is actually very 80s-under the radar-horny like “Barbie Girl”. Probably literal in this case but I’m sure the Duffers know about the second meaning and so maybe it shouldn’t be put right after Teenage Kicks if they aren’t trying to make me at least consider the possibility that they’re meaning to say Mike is jerking off to Will, possibly while he’s possessed. I didn’t need that, Pete Duffer. (Although 13-year-old boys definitely do. I remember the back of the bus conversations on middle school jazz band trips. I'm all for openness and sex education but I know too much about your masturbatory habits, Ben.)

El comes back and he reflects on how their relationship ended so suddenly and she branched out into independence but now that she’s back he’s not gonna let her get away again.*seems like he wants to fix the past vs take action in the present. What could have been. Acting on behalf of his past self.

Their relationship feels aimless to him, but he stays because it’s familiar. “I’ll carry on with what I know”.*her dumping HIM was an important push for him.

Making mistakes is human and a natural part of relationships. He stays in the relationship despite the spark dying out of a larger, more general love for her and because he doesn’t want to lose her. “If not so in love, it’s not so wrong, we’re only human after all.”*feeling an obligation to get her back because while not dating, she's gone completely (at first)?

He left Will/his feelings for him behind but he’s reminded of them by their fight (“little deals and S.U’s”) and he questions the nature of their relationship again but he doesn’t think that it means to Will what it means to him. “A sly touch at times; I don’t think it meant anything to you”. He regrets even going down that road again. “And I should never have tried”.

He’s going to miss them when they move, seeming to specify Will with “seven years went under the bridge”. He doesn’t know what to do without him now.*this song might sort of also explain why he didn't call if he didn't but it's not sure and there are no other songs about it, so he still could have called("if you leave don't look back, I'll be running the other way" but not every lyric has to apply and it could mean something else)

He’s now set/stuck in his desire for Will and can’t get him out of his head. (I considered an angle of this being for El, but the constant thinking about the lover + the interpretation of unreciprocated a love/a pursuit didn’t fit)*one of the interpretations I read also said they think it's about a gay guy which is a great addition, though not an "official" interpretation.

He feels safest in isolation/secrecy (car=closet?) “It’s the only way to live” but he’s wearing down and feeling lonely/alone in this state so he’s starting to consider “leaving” it.

He definitely still has feelings for Will that don’t seem to be going anywhere. They’re kinda…baffling “You got me so I don’t know what I’m doing”. He’s losing sleep over them. But…he’s not mad at it “don’t ever set me free”.

He criticizes himself for his inaction and starts to seriously think about making decisions for himself.

He’s in love. (very simple lyrics: “I saw your eyes, and for a little while/though it took a while, I was falling in love” repeatedly with minor variation)

He’s worn and broken down but still wants love. He’s holding onto Will in the chaos of his mind and the world and trying to keep out of preying eyes. Also it is apparently written as tribute to Stranger Things after season 1, which is cute. “Just stay close” “You can’t stop this feeling.” “They won’t pull us down”. This song is also called “Vale of Shadows”.

Instrumental Synth called “Dead of Night”

He’s full of uncertainty as seeing El gets closer but Will talking to him in the van comforts him and gives him more security; Will’s love makes it all better. “And she pulling the strings” definitely fits this idea of the situation with Will (especially if he is aware)

He feels horrible about lying to El (The song is “Mad World”). He feels like he’s just “run[ning] in circles”.

Notable lyrics:

[pre-season 2-season 2]

When Love Breaks Down "Absence makes the heart lose weight yeah, til love breaks down, til love breaks down" "When love breaks down, the things you do to stop the truth from hurting you. When love breaks down, the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves." I really thought it would say “grow fonder”, which fit and was cute and I was fine with, but nope. And my jaw went slack and it made me want to write this whole thing.

Love is a Stranger "Love is a stranger in an open car to tempt you in and drive you far away." "Love is a dangerous drug. You have to receive it and you still can't get enough of the stuff." "Comes in like the flood and it seems like religion" "And I want you so, it's an obsession. It's guilt edged."

[season 3]

Something About You “If not so in love, it’s not so wrong. We’re only human, after all.”

Are ‘Friends’ Electric “A sly touch at times. I don’t think it meant anything to you.” “And I never should have tried.” “For you see, it meant everything to me.”

[season 4, volume 2]

Mad World “When people run in circles, it’s a very, very mad world.”

#mike wheeler sexuality analysis #my life #for that one gory detail about jazz band #byler #stranger things #haven't done a full show one of these in a while #i used to do them like every other night in 2022

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