#Theyre not entirely friends but they wouldn’t consider each other enemies :]

[umbrarkzoo]

work was slow so i wrote a short story about my human au with a prompt requested by my friend- she wanted to see puppet and lefty kind of reconciling/getting along

“I’m really mad at you”

“I know.”

“I have frequent thoughts about hurting you.”

“I know.”

“You don't even have to be doing anything, your existence just fills me with rage.”

“I kn-”

“You know. And you do nothing about it. You never do anything.”

“I don't.”

There was a long pause, and upon realizing her cage was not going to retaliate, the woman loudly groaned in annoyance. God he was such a pain in the ass. Never did anything except blink once in a while, or play his stupid songs to “calm her down”. Well she wasnt calm! Who could be calm after being kidnapped? Much less in the company of such a boring person. 

Okay in his defense hes not realy himself is he Mari? She thought to herself

I dont give a fuck whatever he is - his company SUCKS

….

It sucks so bad im arguing with myself just for some entertainment. God screw this guy. 

Maybe he knew she was in a bad mood and thats why he let her out - “just for a couple minutes” he said…

“You make very strong facial expressions when you’re thinking. I wonder what youre thinking about?” The man said, his yellow eye tearing into the empty black voids she called her eyes.

oh now he wants to talk.

…

“I was thinking about how much you need to work on your staring problem, you look stupid….and creepy.” She responded- baring her sharp teeth at him.

“It’s a requirement of my job.” He responded, emotionless. 

“To look like a fucking creep?” 

“Well that… I guess… and to look after you. Always” He paused, as though in thought. “Especially after all those stunts you’ve pulled in the past.” He sounded a little annoyed. Interesting…

“Yeah well - sorry but im not about to make your job easier when it comes at the expenses OF MY OWN FUCKING FREE WILL” she yelled into his ear - just to once again get no reaction.

“You’ll get it back.” The man responded as though his ears and head were not ringing currently. 

“The time we spend together is only temporary, maybe one day you'll look back on this experience and find it was somewhat enjoyable? Just relax a bit…. For both of our sake. “

The woman was about to yell at him again for his ridiculous and very delusional suggestion, but decided she should spare her already raspy voice from more abuse. Silent treatment it was if he wanted to be an ass. 

His brow furrowed just slightly at her unusual reaction - or lack of.

“Well if it makes you that uncomfortable, I'll focus my eyes on other things from time to time. No promises if you make another escape attempt though.”

Still silence. 

“I’ll give you more time out of the “cage” too?”

Silence. 

“Okay that was messed up to say-”

“RAAAAAAAGHHHHHH CAN YOU EVER JUST SAY SOMETHING USEFUL” she betrayed her poor vocal chords but jesus this guy can never just-

Okay no, you need to calm down mari. Be calm. He is your captor- he is unpredictable. One minute hes a literal blank piece of paper and the next he starts acting like he has a personality-You know that. Hes never genuine so dont give in. Dont get angry, maybe he wants that. Be calm. Be caaaalm. 

“Ahem…” she paused. “Nevermind. Maybe its better that you stay mute.”

The man blinked.

“Oh so thats why youre mad. Ive been keeping you in the dark haven’t i?” 

….

“Yeah. literally too.” 

Okay did he smile a little just now or am i going insane-

“Well…” He started. “I suppose I could make your experience less boring by answering some questions. Just as long as you dont tell the Security Puppet or Mr. Emily-”

“Tell me about mr. emily please!” She wasted no time. There was something about that man in particular, something off. She felt so hurt whenever she saw him even though she had no idea who he was. 

“I.. Please tell me. Im not gonna say anything. Hes your boss right?”

The man looked to his side briefly, as though he was pondering something. 

“You could say that.”

“And hes the reason why im here right? Hes the one who asked for me to be here?”

“Well, he didn't really know about this whole… situation… until recently. The Security Puppet. That stripped lady. Shes the one who wanted you from the start. For Henry.”

“Oh….his name is Henry Emily?” She looked to the floor.

“Why does that sound…so familiar?” she whispered

If she had looked up, she would have noticed the very noticeable expression of discomfort that plastered itself on the larger man. He was in a great conflict with himself whether he should tell this woman everything or stick to what he was created to do. 

He ultimately stuck to the latter and remained silent. 

Screw finding answers right now, her heart started hurting. Why did she feel like she wanted to cry? She needed a distraction. If this guy saw her crying - he’d probably use it against her…

————

“Okay and that bitch who stole my look then. She created you?”

What a comment. He almost wanted to laugh. But he had to stay stoic…

“Yes,” A pause. “She is indeed the bitch who created me.” Well he could break a little bit of character one in a while. He deserved to treat himself at least a little. 

And now he wanted to laugh even harder seeing the surprised face on the small woman. He deserves a raise for how much composure he has really.. That is, if he was even getting paid in the first place. 

“Okay then….” she furrowed her brows at him. “So if I was to extract revenge on everybody whoose ever wronged me.. She would be a perfect target then, right?”

Okay now he was really starting to like this girl. If only he could drop his persona and offer to help her.

“Well she did kill me for the sole purpose of capturing you.” He internally smirked at her gasp of horror, “disemboweled me and did cruel experiments on my body for this mission. Im pretty sure Im going to get incinerated after I’ve completed this job too,” He said nonchalantly to the look of horror and rage that was forming on the womans face. If he couldn't hurt SP himself, he could at least give this captee more encouragement to do it for him, “All of this was her idea anyway, so I suppose that yes, she would be an ideal target. Though you didn't hear that from me.”

—————

Wtf….oh god no wonder this guys so weird- hes just like me!! And that BITCH shes just like william! William….. Oh that name…

——————

Her raged expression calmed itself, to the disappointment of the large man. Maybe it was immature but he was somewhat hoping shed explode right then and there and make him take her to the security puppet where he could witness a good show…. maybe join in if the brainwashing fully went away….

“You poor thing….” now her expression was turning somber. “You poor, poor man…” Tears began to form in her eyes.

Okay he wasnt expecting this….should he have kept his mouth shut?

Her shoulders started to shake and he could hear faint whimpers as she tried to control her emotions. She curled into a ball before him and started shaking back and forth.

….yeah he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Theyre still doing this to us…” She muffled as her hands covered her face, “it must have hurt you so much… what she did to you…what they did to us,.....”

“Ummm” How was he supposed to approach this….. he didnt know she could cry.

“..how many more deaths will it take for this nightmare to end” She cried out. “DAMN HER!! DAMN THEM ALL!!!” her sobbing became louder

He really did not know what to do right now- wow this took a sudden turn.

“My friends, my family… I lost them all because of monsters like her….”

oh

“Im lost now you know. My brother…Fred…he’s not here to guide me anymore…That green man burnt them all”

OH.

“And im just a shell of myself now… I dont think Ill ever be able to leave it…. I lost them.. I think it was ‘99? What year is it anymore…”

“2017.” he blurted out, almost immediately regretting it. 

“Oh.” 

It was a rhetorical question wasn't it?

—————

The shock she was in distracted her from her pain at least. She just layed there, exhausted from her outburst, staring at the night sky before her. 

She just kept breaking her promises to herself. Now this man knew her vulnerabilities. And honestly, she didnt care anymore.

She didnt want to be paranoid. She didnt want to be angry. Not at him, not at Security Puppet, not at ….henry, not even at william. She was so tired of feeling. Numbness was all she wanted.

————

The man just sat next to her and looked up with her. It was a beautiful night. They could forget what just transpired for now, for both their sake. She was embarrassed in a way, but he didnt seem to hold anything against her.

I dont think he’s all that capable of judging me anyway.

A long time had passed, the woman's tears subsiding, though her messy makeup marked her pain for all to see. 

They sat in silence for the next couple of hours, until the man spoke up.

“Miss?”

She hummed in acknowledgement.

“What do you want me to call you if not Ch- if not that other name.”

….

“Just call me Puppet for now.”

Another minute of silence.

“And what should I call you?” She asked. 

It was about time they both introduced themselves properly anyway.

“.....Lefty” He responded rather sheepishly. 

…..

“Lefty?”

“Yeah?”

“You have a really stupid name.”

Away from her vision, he grinned at the sparkling sky. 

“I know.”

#Me dumb au #Theyre not entirely friends but they wouldn’t consider each other enemies :] #Sorry for grammar issues lol i wrote this in one sitting and i dont feel like editing x-x #btw its obivous something bad happened to lefty since hes a literal walking cage- #What triggered maris reaction was knowing it was security puppet who did that- like theres another william out there

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

[artoutforblood]

I’m rereading Cirque du Freak again and it reminded me of an old oc of mine and their adopted dad ;-;

yes i know theres another character named Arrow don’t @ me

TW: child molestation (not by gavnur) and child assault and spoilers for CdF

Arrow Purl (born Abel Arrowood) is Gavnur Purl’s adopted kid. He rescued and made them half-vampire when they were 8 years old when he found them half-dead, in the middle of being murdered and molested by their attacker after they had been abandoned by their birth parents in a nearby shopping mall. 

Although he had initial doubts, if he were to save them, he had to make them half vampire so they could survive. Even knowing what could eventually happen to them in the future as a half-vampire, he couldn’t leave them to bleed out from their wounds with their last memories being violated. 

Even with the excelerated healing abilities, it still took them a week or more to heal from the fatal wounds with constant supervision from Gavnur. During the process, their brown hair turned fair silver, with some locks retaining their original color, and their brown eyes got a silver sheen to them. Gavnur chalks this up to the strain of the recovery and the transformation into half vampire, at least at first.

Eventually, they awaken in a daze, half crazed from the memories of their assault, and Gavnur quickly hypnotizes them into forgetting the event entirely and then lulling them back to sleep. When they wake next, they only remember being lured into the alley where he found them and nothing afterwards. The attack left them with several scars on their torso and the slash across their eye and neck, and they know they were attacked and was hurt terribly and Gavnur had to make them half vampire so they could survive because he told them, but isn’t aware of the specifics.

Though they’re initially wary of Gavnur due to previous neglect from their parents, they are still grateful to him for saving their life and taking them in. Gavnur Daddy-Issues Purl immediately takes to them and starts raising them as his own. 

Because of Arrow being missing instead of dead, and only being noticed that their gone by their past school teacher as their parents gave no missing persons reports, Gavnur cuts their hair, hides their gender, and gives them the new name Arrow and his last name, passing them as his nephew and adopted son from his deceased sister. 

Arrow is cautious and easily anxious and scared, and sticks to Gavnur like glue in most situations, often grabbing an article of clothing in reach or his hand. That being said, as they get a little older, they become curious and starts asking more questions about becoming a vampire and everything that comes with it. Most adults are fond of them because they are polite, kind, and have remarkable good behavior. Around Gavnur, they’re more outgoing, witty, and can be a troublemaker. 

Within a year, Arrow grows to love Gavnur dearly and begins calling him their Daddy. Arrow comes to hold him in high esteem and puts his livelihood over their own, much to his chagrin as the opposite is also true on his side. He spoils them with love to the point they can climb up in his lap at any point, even during situations where this could be considered impolite, and he’d let them. The relationship becomes a bit codependent as a result.

As time goes on, Arrow starts showing signs of having premonitions, put into three categories: Sense (most common), Know (as in knowing what a person has or plans), and See (least common and only happens when in direct contact with an object or person. They see the future as it will happen.) A future Seen is impossible to change, unlike a future Sensed. Younger Arrow often can’t put these events into words well, and sometimes forgets that it happens at all. They become more powerful and easier to remember and channel as they get older.

Theres a lot of stuff that happens, but I don’t feel like writing it all down. They do meet Larten before the events of CdF, and then later when Darren and Larten are with the Cirque. They have a horrible, foreboding feeling that something terrible will happen dealing with the four of them, but still makes fast friends with Darren and gains Larten’s affection. Darren see’s echoes of Annie in them and gets attached.

It takes Arrow thirty years to hop up in age, a year before the events of Vampire Mountain, where they look about 17-18. This makes them a late bloomer if I remember half vampire aging correctly. Darren is utterly shocked when they meet up again in Vampire Mountain, only for Arrow to tease him and remind him that they have always been much older than him.

The two’s relationship is that of close siblings. Before, Darren saw himself as the big brother, but that’s soundly flipped on its head and Arrow takes the mantle from him. Arrow is still somewhat childish and the years of traveling with Gavnur has made them more sure of themself, optimistic and cheerful, and gave them a sense of humor, but now that their body and mind has matured, they’re more responsible and is better able to understand adult conversations.

They elect themself to take the Trials first, to give Darren time to train, and takes it upon themself to watch over him and considers his safety very carefully. 

Then, well, Gavnur died, and it all changed. Arrow decides that all vamaneze deserve to die, and after Darren becomes a prince, they fall into depression and despair. Never leaving their room, never speaking, never moving, wanting nothing more than to starve to death and see their father again.

Larten, Darren, and Harkat come to visit and try to get them to eat something or drink blood, but nothing works. Until, Larten visits and puts a letter Gavner wrote on their bedside table. When he leaves, they read it, and realize it was written for them. Leading up to the event of his death, Arrow had been sensing something about to happen, and having dreams about him dying. They had been bringing it up often and anxiously, and the night before his death, they even crawled into his hammock like they did as a kid and begged him to never leave them.

This letter was to tell them that he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise, but that no matter what happened, he wanted them to live a full life knowing that he loved them, and that he wanted them to have plenty of stories to tell when they met again in Paradise. 

This was enough for them to respond to Darren when he came to see them next, and the two ended up bawling on the floor. Darren because he felt guilty about Gavnur’s death, and Arrow mourning him and reassuring him it wasn’t his fault. They had Seen that future, and knew it was unchangeable. Larten comes to find them there later, with Arrow holding Darren as Gavnur had held them, and he comes to sit beside them. As Arrow grabs his cuff, he sheds a few tears for the boy he had once raised.

After this, Arrow becomes cynical, pragmatic, easily annoyed and angered, and devotedly loyal to Darren and Larten as they are the only family they have left, and they refuse to let them die. Any and all threats to them and their safety is met with severe and unprejudiced hostility. However, they become apathetic and uncaring about their own well-being, throwing themself into training and swordplay to a point that Larten has to step in. 

When Tiny comes telling of the prophecy, there is an immediate air of two opposing magnets coming near to each other. The earth shakes under their feet, the clouds clash and throw lightning that day, the air itself tastes of ozone and fire. The two recognize each other as dangerous and powerful enemies. Tiny doesn’t try to stop them from joining their crew, as he himself admits that he doesn’t even understand what they are enough to say no. 

When Vancha joins the band, the two do not hit off at the beginning. They’re disgusted with his bad hygiene and he thinks theyre a bit of a stick up the ass because of it. But, eventually, the two’s bickering becomes a thing of the past, replaced by affectionate jokes that are only sometimes at each other’s expense. Vancha bathing doesn’t hurt either.

Insert more stuff that I don’t want to type right now.

But. If you read CdF, you know what happens. And Arrow is left as a shell hellbent on killing all vampaneze, and initially fights tooth and nail against Evana’s plan to bear a half-vampire and half-vampaneze child, declaring: “IT WON’T BRING THEM BACK!” 

When Vancha grabs their arm and says, “What’s more important? Killing vampaneze, or our survival?” And in that moment, they saw their own, unchangeable future. 

They get older. They get older. They get older. And the world moves, and moves, and moves, and but they do not. Every second is an empty eternity, a lonely, torturous and slow death until they are berried where they stand, and the world is thrown into darkness and silence. 

They give no more resistance, and returns to Vampire Mountain. There, they take a vial and ask Madam Octa to bite the thin film over it and fill it with enough venom to kill a vampire.

They sit in one of the caves open to the outside, knowing Vancha will come to find them. When he does, they talk about the future, and they tell him that he has his responsibilities to tend to as the father of the future child. He asks what the vial is for, and they tell him its a sleeping potion, and that they hadn’t been sleeping well for a long time.

They make a small incision along a vein and asks him to stay while they fall asleep, because they’re scared of falling asleep alone.

“When the morning comes, I’ll be able to breathe again.”

He starts to ask what they mean, but they put the venom in their mouth before putting their lips to the cut and shooting the venom into their blood.

The world is black and silent.

#bonesart #oc #cirque du freak #gavner purl #hm. i wonder what part of my childhood made me the terrible angst goblin i am today. hm. #boneswrites #i guess? maybe? i wrote a lot #the man can't cut his own hair right what makes you think he'd be able to cut their hair right. and arrow just keeps it #looks at gavnur then at my oc tobi and back. um. wait.

[00-lingling]

Can I gently ask what the Oznitus kids would think of my Asphaltic boys please Q.Q

hi dear sorry for being slow

queenie

theos thinks he’s just a ball of energy, i think hed observe queenie like he;s a specimen of sorts (like rook lmao). theos probably notices him on the field when he’s running, and would probably be bold enough to challenge queenie to a race, theos likes to do fun things after all. though i bet he would sulk if he loses to queenie (which i bet he does)

evett probably wouldn’t like queenie a lot, he gives off the vibes of the middle schoolers that bullied evett in the past. he’s got enough things on his plate already, the last thing he wants is to associate with someone as spirited as queenie. if he spots queenie in the hallway he’ll just pretend queenie doesnt exist

considering the fact that mika is quite a socialite, i bet he’s already friends with queenie. mika’s quite a smooth talker and a good conversation partner, so i guess he would stroke queenie’s ego quite a fair bit. of course that doesn’t mean mika likes queenie entirely, i still think the mischievous side of him would gossip about queenie;s arrogance (mika u two faced bih)

glory

theos probably sees glory as an overgrown munchkin. i think he’s tried to talk to glory before, but his eccentric behavior combined with glory’s shyness probably didnt get him that far. he finds it quite interesting how protective the dorm members are of glory though

evett’s got very little patience (due to his idiot dorm members testing him), so he probably would not handle glory very well. it tires him to have to constantly pry glory apart to make any kind of conversation with him, and since evett has quite a foul mouth he probably would not click with glory to say the least 

mika’s probably the only one with some success in trying to befriend glory, and even if the latter doesnt feel the same way i think mika would consider him a friend. he’s probably succeeded in making glory talk, and he does think glory is a fun guy to be around due to his humor. since they both like video games i think mika games regularly with glory too

phoenix

theos is accustomed to the likes of phoenix, since his vice dorm head behaves in a similar manner. theos enjoys poking fun and irritating evett on purpose, so its probably the same with phoenix. he probably likes to insert himself into conversations and parties with phoenix just for the sake of annoying him

evett and phoenix are quite similar in terms of temper, so i could see them either getting along or butting heads. they’re both vice dorm leaders and the problem solver in the dorm, so i suppose they often vent their problems to each other (and talk shit about their dorms). when theyre both agitated however phoenix becomes evett’s worst enemy, he wont hesitate to swear a phoenix when theyre arguing. evett is probably lowkey envious that phoenix’s good at socializing (and flirting), he definitely takes mental notes when he sees phoenix interacting with other students

mika probably has an amicable friendship with phoenix, theyre both outgoing and like partying so they probably vibe well together. when his dorm abandons him i think mika would turn to phoenix to bail him out of whatever trouble he got himself into

[shadowdragonlost-blog]

Spyro Reignited Wishes; then Skylanders Academy Predictions (Then More Game Stuff)

I decided to do something really stupid, and try and post about three different things in one post because I guess a really long read is something that nobody has complained about yet. I am sorry in advance for the nightmarish amount of text you will see, and tell me not to do this in the future if you’d prefer one thing at a time. I will probably avoid doing this again in the future. I am sorry in advance, and I tried to mark the transitions from one topic to another heavily so you could just skip to what you want.

1. ———-With the Reignited Trilogy coming closer to being just around the corner; everyone who isn’t an original series Nazi — an original series fan that believes that just porting the original series to the PS4 is the only thing that can be done with this series that isn’t punishable by murder — is really exited to get their hands on the Spyro that predates all other Spyros. With that exitement however, many people have come to hope for and even beg Toys for Bob for any reveals on any of the new features they could’ve added, and hope that the Reignited Trilogy is getting all of the love that the N’Sane, and from what we’ve seen so far; from being in development for over two years longer than the N’Sane Trilogy because it was actually being developed at the same time if not early than the N’Sane Trilogy started to having revamped cutscenes and a reactive development team that gives what the fans ask for through hard work, the Reignited Trilogy seems to be receiving more love than the N’Sane Trilogy.

This love that is being given to the Original Spyro has given many of us a list of things that we may have come to hope for or expect (or hate the idea of if you are an Original Spyro Nazi). My list of wishes are as follows:

•Playable Cynder and/or Ember: First thing, because Crash had an extra playable character added for after the game was beaten, this is then followed by the Original Series having had done this before in later installments, and is made more likely through being probably THE MOST REQUESTED THING OF THE REIGNITED TRILOGY BY FANS OF THE LEGEND SERIES. So yeah, may actually be a thing.

•The addition of deleted content: Crash obtained his stormy ascent, and Spyro likely had many worlds that were removed due to either difficulty or time constraints, and as much as all files on the original series were lost by Insomniac, it’s original developers could definitely tell them about deleted content and abandoned ideas.

•A Crash Easter Egg?: Spyro and Crash were best friends after all, so having him show up in an Easter Egg or level could be pretty fun.

•Keeping the Adaptive Difficulty Algorithms: This one is more so one of my hopes for this Trilogy. The Original Spyro Trilogy was technologically ahead of its time in way more ways than one (outside of being two years late to the 3D Platforminng Genre), one of these wonders of technology that this game boasted was how its enemy AI would actually adapt to how good you were at the game, making it absolutely brutal for the pros of the series, and extremely easy for those who struggled with it more often, so every player would actually witness different levels of difficulty for each boss and enemy.

Even though Crash Bandicoot is difficult to start with and understand the full extent of its physics, all of its characters and bosses followed set paths, and for someone who is experienced at playig Crash Bandicoot, and has memorized the boss-paths; it is actually really easy to do a zero-deaths run of any level, boss, or even the entire game after having had played it before. Each of the Original Trilogy Spyro games would actually become more difficult the better you bacame at the game; requiring a more in-depth knowledge of characters and levels by a long-shot if you plan on beating the game without a single death, each of the enemies starting to react within periods of time that aren’t possible for some random player to just pick up and play against. So as much as people talk about how hard Crash is for them, they’re forgetting that the original Spyro trilogy was only easy for them because they sadly (and bluntly) weren’t probably that exceptional at playing it, and also probably because it does begin at an average difficulty level that was designed for anyone to just be able to play; so a lot of people probably didn’t have the difficulty raise too much for them. But yeah; I want the Reignited trilogy to show off one of its technological marvels that people today probably wouldn’t even try to develop or implement in the greatest of AAA games.

<TRANSITION>

2. —————As one of the many people who enjoyed Skylanders Academy, and really payed way too much to the lore of it and similarities it showed to the stories of other Spyros, I have a few predictions for season three that I can pretty much guarantee and would maybe even be willing to bet money on with the confidence and evidence that I have for these. With the Third season being released a month after the Reignited Trilogy, the fall of 2018 will be the season of Spyro. But keep in mind that I have avoided leaks, so any of this could’ve been leaked or disproven without my knowledge.

•A Bloodlines Episode: As much as that episode will not be called Bloodlines, their will most-definitely be an episode where Malefor and Cynder will be having some father daughter time (in the middle of Cynder being pissed); while Eon reveals the truth about Spyro and his history to the rest of the Skylanders; all while Kaos tries to have some father-son moments with Strykore. This episode will entail why Malefor hates purple dragons so much, and him telling that story to Cynder (which will 100% reveal that Cynder’s mother was a purple dragon; who probably died protecting the core of light from all of the dark-form purple dragons, or became corrupted as well. I can guarantee this because of Cynder’s color, her retaining her dark purple scales even though Malefor never corrupted her with Aether in this series, he’s just a black dragon who cares deeply for his biological daughter; so with him being black; Cynder’s mother would have to be purple. So that is definitely a reveal to look for). Though this reveal of Cynder’s mother will likely then be followed-up by a Dark Spyro visit (just because individual episodes tend to have themes that they stick to, and Spyro is convinced that Malefor knows how to find his family, and will definitely show back up to find out).

Stealth Elf and the other Skylanders will probably end the episode determined to find a way to either bring the purple dragons back so they could save Spyro (knowing how he’ll be looking for them), or they will either abandon Eon and his cause for having had lied, or forgive him and prepare to fight Strykore and Kaos to the bitter end. This may also include Eon revealing his relations to Kaos, but if so then this episode may be the forst or second one of season three.

Kaos will likely fail in trying to have his father spend time with him, and will hold that deep in his heart to be triggered later; pushing him to turn against his father when it is needed of him most; either making him worse than his father was, or and antagonistically-neutral character at the end of season three (which may be the last season)

•Saving Spyro: This one is the more complicated part of predicting season three, and that is because there are several ways in which it could play-out; each with similar or different saviors.

Cynder saves Spyro: The case behind Cynder being the one who saves Spyro can be seen heavily from all of the similarities that their relationship in Skylanders Academy has compared to the relationship that The Legend Trilogy Spyro and Cynder have with each other. But there is a twist in that, in every similarity in this relationship, the roles have been reversed between them. So Spyro’s because you have left me nothing to fight for scene can become Cynder’s; since he was the only thing that really gave her reason to be a Skylander. There is also the fact that she is likely a half-breed purple dragon, meaning that she would actually have light to give/bring to him in his darkness. Making her the most-ideal character to save him if the stick to their legend series references and self-established lore of how light works in their own series. Their is only one other character who could fit this role as well as Cynder could, and that is before considering how Cynder is the only character who has lived on both the sides of bad and good, and she learned and accepted how she could be a Skylander in spite of being groomed to be evil. She of all characters knows that anyone could be saved, and if they really want to sell the reflections of the Legend Series; they would have her stop at nothing to save him, this may force her to face both the Skylanders and Strykore though. Hell; she may even join with Kaos for a time just to try and get close enough to be able to reach Spyro.

Cynder saves Spyro when he visits Malefor: So dark Spyro will eventually visit Malefor in season three if not the other way around. Cynder will be in Malefor’s custody when that happens; meaning that she will definitely play a large role in the endgame. So how this will go will be; Spyro likely gets violent, one way or another it becomes a duel between him and Cynder in which she either loses or refuses to fight, does either the inversion of the Legend series Dark Cynder Spyro fight from DotD, or she uses her light to purify him knowing that she’s a half purple dragon now, or a mixture of both. This will either leave Cynder in a weakened or ill state forcing Spyro to apologize and find some way to bring her to the core of light, or she’ll be fine and the story will continue.

Cynder saves Spyro when he his fighting at the core of light: Similar to the last one, just theyre all at the core of light and Spyro and Cynder end up alone in the battle one way or another, repeat all thr stuff from the last one and bam, Spyro is himself again.

Cynder and Stealth Elf save Spyro at the core of light battle: Since Stealth Elf is Spyro’s best friend in this series, just pair up her value of Spyro and desperation to likely save him with the stuff from earlier revolvin Cynder and you’ll have a saved Spyro with two of the most important if not the two current most important people to him there by his side for him to apologize to and finish the final battle.

Stealth Elf saves Spyro: Stealth Elf is Spyro’s closest friend, so with that being a main theme; Stealth Elf alone is a candidate to save him, not as ideal as Cynder and Eon, but she can. She might use water from the core of light, but otherwise the power of friendship is all I can really say.

Stealth Elf at the core of light: Just read the one before, and You’ll know why this is the only location that Stealth Elf alone will be able to save Spyro, because the core of light is the only place where she can restore his light, her not being one of the three beings that just has pure light within them.

Spyro’s Skylander team saves him: Because of the themes of family within this show, the team that traveled with Spyro throughout Skylanders Academy is really the most expectable group for the show to use for anyone who doesn’t Overdose on researching and studying the lore of series like I do. They are a great candidate provided Skylanders Academy wants to just plot-armor the word “family” over all of the lore and character forshadowing that the developers did throughout the first and second seasons. It will still fit the themes of Skylanders Academy though.

Spyro’s Skylander team saves him at the core of light: This is the only area where the team detailed earlier could save Spyro in a lore-friendly way without the help of Cynder or Eon.

Eon saves Spyro: A lot like why Cynder will probably save Spyro, Spyro’s internal struggles are 100% Eon’s responsibility, and he is one of the three characters that we have seen who is a being that contains pure light (Spyro, Cynder from her mom, and Eon); so he would be a great light-giving candidate, but there would be a price to that. Master Eon (as we saw in season one) cannot expose himself to darkness on a great scale, and cannot expend his light without falling deathly ill. So if we wanted an Ignitus in Skylanders Academy who wanted to do right by Spyro even if just once, Eon would likely sacrifice himself to restore Spyro.

Eon is killed: This doesn’t need an explanation, Eon either dies from sacrificing himself, or he is killed by Strykore or Spyro.

What I believe will happen: Knowing the themes of family and friendship; while also keeping all of the Legend Series themes and concepts that are apparent and repeating in Skylanders Academy. Spyro’s team will likely try to save him, but will either fail or give up thinking that he may be too far gone. So they will likely start to relentfully view him as an enemy. Then will come the involvement of either Cynder or Eon to save him; I can almost guarantee Cynder will be the one to save him, because Eon likely shouldn’t die, and also because Cynder is the only character in the series outside of Spyro who has walked on both the dark and the light, and possesses a very unique knowledge of how one can choose to be evil, and can be saved from that, so she will likely either give him her light (some or all, either could happen), after having to either face him with the Skylanders, or face the Skylanders to be able to get him to open up to her enough in his dark form. But yeah; she’ll definitely be saving him; I want to go out on a limb and say that she’ll have to abandon her father and the Skylanders in the process; while also facing Kaos. Of course this series may not go that far, but I’m going to say that will happen, because that will enable Spyro and Cynder to save all of Skylands with Stealth Elf and the rest of the team helping as needed if they aren’t incapacitated, but it will also reflect a very specific condition that I will explain right below this.

•A large part of Skylanders Academy was how it had its own twist on the Legend of the Purple Dragon, in the Legend Series, Malefor and Spyro were Eternal (meaning cannot die at all), and in Skylanders Academy spyro had invulnerable scales, and both Spyros are said to have many more powers. But there is one confirmed power of the Legend Series Spyro that is known by fans as Convexity, and by the game files as Aether. It is one of the many powers that Spyro possesses in the Legend series that makes him as rediculously powerful as he was at the age of fourteen in Dawn of the Dragon (that and being unable to die), but his Aether powers had one twist to them; they were able to be accessed through a balance between dark and light; his dark form being a result of losing himself to the darkness of his heart and emotions and being overcome by dark Aether (along with his critically untreated depression that he only had a hold over with Cynder), but there was no real side-effect of being overcome by light and light-related emotions, unless if love overcoming him with light is what roided his heart into repairing the planet. It was also this power that he used to purify Cynder and restore her at the end of A New Beginning. Meaning that Cynder in Skylanders Academy could maybe even unlock this power; if not use it to save Spyro.

If Skylanders Academy was to use a twist on that power to defeat Strykore, then they would be bringing a lot of their lore full-circle, most of Spyro’s lore in Skylanders Academy being a modified version of the Legend Series Spyro’s lore after all, but the only question is; what would they change about Spyro’s Convexity/Aether powers before revealing them in Skylanders Academy? Cause if they kept them how they are now; then Spyro himself would never be able to use them outside of a few set circumstances; with Aether powers requiring a balance between darkness and light where Spyro is always either a being of 100% pure light or 100% darkness he would never be able to use them unless if he was able to becoming a being of both dark and light. Though with Aether being the one superpower that by its own nature should be able to accomplish anything; it will likely be required to save the Skylands. But there is one gem of a character who fits the requirements for Aether as they were in the Legend Series, and that gem is Cynder; with her mom being a Purple Dragon and her father being the ruler of the underworld; she would be a being of perfect balance between darkness and light by birth and nature. That would make her the perfect candidate to save the Skylands or even Spyro with her Aether powers. She could even try to restore Spyro with her light, which would then place either both of them at 75% dark 25% light, or she will abandon all of her light to save him; leaving Spyro at the perfect balance needed to save the Skylands, but then he would have to clutch a Cynder as she either falls to darkness, or fights desperately to remain herself; then Eon could show up and sacrifice his light to both restore Cynder to her perfect balance and bring Spyro back to 100% percent, or he could leave spyro and cynder at perfect balances and stay at a 50% light 50% neutral state, and then the series will likely end with Spyro either rejoining the Skylanders with Cynder, bringing Cynder with him to save the purple dragons if not going alone, or leave the Skylanders and become a guardian figure of perfect balance between darkness and light either along or with Cynder who shares the same description. Who knows; I’m just babbling on about what’s possible with the lore of the series.

<TRANSITION>

3. ——————GAME STUFF: I said I would like input on game names and stuff, so here I am asking. The game that you’ve all been seeing some random map sketches from is the second game on my development list, but it hasn’t been named yet. The inspiration for the games initial idea was actually my frustration with the pokemon series... I was frustrated with all of the limits that the game series placed on everything, from levels to training to even relationship development; so I started to create a Bestiary that had creature stats and growths plotted out heavily, and I have been trying to design personality types and creature interaction concepts. With creatures ranging from single-stage to five-stage creatures with each one being able to train their stats infinitely in their final stage. I wanted all of the evolutions to be locked-out be relationship level requirements at certain stages, and I wanted there to be main character creatures that would be with you throughout the entire game. So I started designing a creature game that will do all of that. I’ve gotten most of the story concepts down and rough story guidelines for individual characters and main-character creatures, but the back-of-game-case-summary will be a little like this: “Join Xavier on his journey through an alternate world with his otherworldy dragonling Fry as he befriends creatures, slays fiends, and tries to discover his purpose in discovering Fry and traveling to Alterium” or something like that. But yeah, it will feature befriending characters and creatures (no capturing); Xavier and all of the player-characters will actually participate in combat with their creatures; even though they will be significantly weaker than their creatures, and you all should expect concept art for this once I’m confident enough to start posting it. So please send me any name ideas that you come up with for this game, and I will ask for approval on any that I may come up with.

All of you have a wonderful night, and tell me what you think about any or everything I may have said here. You should even feel free to comment as you see fit.

#spyro #spyro and cynder #spyro the dragon #the legend of spyro #cynder #classic spyro #spyro reignited trilogy #spyro the purple dragon #skylanders academy #predictions #game development #game design #help #im sorry #three different topics at once?! what have i done #i know you dont want this but i am shipping skylanders academy spyro and cynder #deal with it #name ideas? #i love dragons too much #i love spyro #i love cynder too much #i love spyro too much #i love spynder too much #i have a problem #too many tags #all the feels #tlos #i am the lorekeeper #too much lore #i am way too geeky

[necroticarachnidism]

> Cae: Be Ridiculous.

necroticarachnidism

Being kidnapped isn't the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. Your captors were certainly trying their best to be cruel, but the holding cell they shoved you in after their deranged "traps" wasn't as claustrophobic as it could've been, and incredibly clean. There was even one entire piece of unnecessary furniture, in the form of an incredibly cheap and tacky folding screen. The only problem is that it's always inevitably interrupted by-

"HOW ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THERE? LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A PRETTY GOOD TIME! NOT."

That.

You and Dualscar both groan at the voice you've become far too accustomed to over the course of this trip. At the very least the ringleader and their cronies were here in the flesh, though, which was marginally better than having to hear them abuse a squeaky intercom.

The leader pulls a set of handcuffs out of their pocket and starts spinning them around on their finger before they almost immediately fly off and fall to the ground. After picking it up they almost try again before deciding against it and handing the handcuffs to one of the other gang members.

"I'm going to need you to cooperate with my friend here. We're doing something special tonight, and it needs a helping hand from each of you."

trolljacksparrow

"Why, can't you...HANDle it yourself? You know it'll just get out of hand otherwise." You hate yourself sometimes, you really do.

It could be worse, they could be competent.

However, incompetent as they are, you are Not going along for the ride. They've been haranguing you and your friend for DAYS! You're not giving them an inch! So instead, you muster up a defensive snarl. Its difficult to be mad at them, considering how pathetic they are, but you try to think about how awful your hair looks after a week of neglect anx that gives you the Power necessary to access your battle face.

You jab a clawed finger in their general direction, fins flaring. "Listen....fuck you." Okay, try again.

You put up your dukes and bare your impressively large teeth. "Do you think we'll just hand ourselves over? Hell no! Come get some, motherfucker." Yeah the cmere  finger gesture is happening. Yeah.

necroticarachnidism

You also hate him sometimes, the puns get him a light smack on the arm. The gang seems rather happy about him playing along, though, because of course they are.

Which is then immediately squandered by his attempts to stand up to them. The one with the handcuffs growls a little and takes a step foward before being stopped by the leader.

"Listen," they say, rather flatly "we can do thi-"

"The easy way or the hard way, yes," you interject. "He's picking the hard one, please do continue."

They sigh at you, you sigh back louder, they sigh again and don't stop their associate from creeping closer as they try to engage Dualscar in a hissy match. The leader then makes a solid attempt at fishing their keys out menacingly.

"I'd prefer this not get violent, but if you really insist..."

caepaecaesurae

The tension was somehow starting to mount, despite the competence of half those involved, and threat hung in the air for nearly a second and a half before someone's phone rang.  It was tinny the first time, soft, as if just as uncertain as their captors, but quickly gained in confidence.  There was just enough time to momentarily doubt whether they had heard correctly when it called out again, more firmly, a second or two later.

Someone was definitely calling one of them, and it sounded suspiciously like the default ringtone of a popular chat program.  ...but where was it COMING from?

trolljacksparrow

Waitwaitwait theyre ACTUALLY gonna fight you??? Ohhhhohohoh fuck yesss you're gonna do ART THERAPY with their insides when---

You just look around in disbelief. After all, it cant be you.

"We're having this showdown type thing, and your phone is ringing? How are you that bad at paying attention and looking proper intimidating? What's next, I find out you had another nemesis on the side?? I'm almost hurt - and you wonder why im not going along with this? For all I know youll mistake our legs for arms and tie our feet together!" Cross your arms, huff, tut tut maybe.

......Remember what you were doing and uncross them, going back to posturing. "Anyway, violence for the violentblood - and honestly, do you really think you can take me? "

caepaecaesurae

Ring...    ...was it off to Nadaya's left?

necroticarachnidism

As the ringing started the leader immediately turned to the member of the group who hadn't been part of this incident with a very accusing look. Said member simply gestured to their form-fitting and clearly pocket-less outfit, then to the one with the handcuffs. The one with the handcuffs almost said something, then was immediately interrupted by Dualscar's monologue.

That pissed them off.

"I don't have a fucking phone! None of us having a fucking phone, holy shit, the only thing I have-" They trail off, realizing that they do in fact have something and pulling it out. It's some kind of gun, loaded with a vial. "The only thing I have is this! To drug your dumb ass again!"

"We're a real knockout with drugs." adds the catsuit one.

That was true, at least by comparison to everything else. Not only had they managed to drag you here in the first place but they had their hands on something that could fuck with your mind control. It was the one of the few things they'd actually pulled off.

Meanwhile, to Nadaya's left, the ringing sounds distinctly like it's off to your right. But they took your items, so if it's not them then...? You take a curious step closer and look intently at the area it sounds like it's coming from.

caepaecaesurae

Nadaya's claws tingled faintly, the fourth time it rang, on just his left hand.  Why was the ringing coming from so close by?  It seemed to be following the tips of his fingers, especially the thumb and little finger claws.

trolljacksparrow

Okay okay wow you are going to MURD--what. "Okay a real knockout with the drugs being plural is a bad pun since youre the only one vaguely knockouty and also quit it with the drugs okay what the fuck," you trail off just staring into your hand, and bringing it up to your face, digits with tingling sensations first. "What the fuck," indeed.

caepaecaesurae

His hand rang at him, right in his face, very distinctly.

trolljacksparrow

.........You make a phone gesture with the fingers. "What??????"

caepaecaesurae

There was a soft audible click, and a deep, familiar voice answered in a wry, almost affectionate tone.  "WVhere are you?"

necroticarachnidism

Catsuit winked at the half compliment but this was quickly overshadowed by...whatever was happening.

You personally were looking at this with clear curiosity instead of pure what the actual fuck.

trolljacksparrow

Okay, its. Sounding like your kismesis. Your magic, hope god kismesis. Oh, thank god, you're not losing your mind.

"Caesurae?? Honey is that you?? Gotta hand it to you, this is a brilliant way of contacting me," At this point, though, you were really looking forward to beating people up!

"Gimme two secs I'm gonna kick some ass first," and you deathgrin at your enemies, still talking in your hand.

caepaecaesurae

"Brilliance is one of my better traits," the voice agreed humbly.  "If you're sure, dear, I can call back in a fewv minutes, just wvanted to hear your vwoice."

Apparently the magic hand might actually let Nadaya handle this on his own if no one interjected.

necroticarachnidism

Nadaya's opponent is more baffled than enraged right now, but starts approaching the cell again when ass kicking is mentioned.

You are having none of that.

"Okay, pardon me, but I am not going to let you hang up on your fucking magic kismesis so this idiot can try to stab you."

caepaecaesurae

"Oh, hello!  Say, can you pass her the phone?"

trolljacksparrow

"Okay thats....fair enough I guess? I mean he wouldn't succeed, but, yeah. Can yall hold on on the death maze bullshit for a moment? Trés bitchinnnn'," and you pass Mindfang the....hand. You put her hand to her face.

caepaecaesurae

At some moment during the awkward fumbling, his claws would stop tingling and hers would start.

necroticarachnidism

There's almost a protest at Nadaya putting your hand to your face but you know what, you can't think of a reason for that not to work, it might as well, this is fine. Copy the phone gesture Nadaya was making.

"Caesurae, please tell me you have something planned, nobody else here does."

caepaecaesurae

"I wvas hoping to figure out wvhat wvas going on wvith you twvo, and if you needed a ride back."

trolljacksparrow

You can't help the smile on your face, you spent a week being unable to contact anyone and you miiiissed theeeeemmm... "We're starring in saw for idiots!" You add, hopefully loud enough to be heard.

necroticarachnidism

"We've been kidnapped and harrassed by mororns. Nadaya is apparently fine here fighting them but I'd quite like a way out."

That gets the group responsible looking around. Was...something going to happen?

caepaecaesurae

"Alright my dear.  I'd like you to try to accept a vwideo call, so I can send you something.  I'm sending the request nowv."

"Just... do your best."

trolljacksparrow

"You can teleport wwhy cant you just send us a phone, " This is getting Ridiculous.

necroticarachnidism

The word 'teleport' only makes the kidnappers more antsy. Meanwhile you...try your best. You make a rectangle with your hands.

caepaecaesurae

The rectangle filled with moving light!  There sure was a giant, slightly relieved looking Ampora sitting in a nice-ish livingroom.  He gave her a smile, adjusted something out of frame, and said -- "--There, I'vwe got wvhat I need."  He took a step back, produced a portable one-use transport pad, and spun it in his hands once, and then looked back towards her with a peculiar look of concentration...

...and it disappeared, and reappeared on the floor at her feet.

"--Dearest, I promise, there's a method here."

trolljacksparrow

"....You beautiful, angelic man you." Holy. Fuck. You offer Mindfang the crook of your arm like a gentleman or some shit, fins and ears perked up. "And you lot " with a menacing look at the assorted kidnappers, "better never brighten our nights again."

necroticarachnidism

Make sure the transportalizer is armed, and then absolutely take that arm, you are now the picture of elegance (minus all the appearance neglect).

After a moment the kidnappers try to scramble for the door, fumbling with the keys, but nowhere near fast enough to catch the two of you before you port away to...wherever this will take you.

caepaecaesurae

Mindfang and Dualscar are whisked away to Nadaya's ship -- and then the device they just left explodes behind them in a colorful fireball.  It might be enough to knock the saw wanna-be's off their feet, but probably not injure any of them unless they use the wrong hair products and are slow to put it out.

The moment her hands parted, Caesurae lost his connection to the video call -- but he scratched his chin, considered, and gave it a few long seconds.

...then Nadaya's pants rang.  If Nadaya swatted at his beltline to refuse the call, he'd laugh and consider it good.

trolljacksparrow

"Absolutely fucking not. I fucking hate him. Are you hearing this shit Sicari? I truly hate him."

You swat at your belt like your pants are on fire!

"Also hey Mindfang if you wanna like....use the bath here or sleep or whatever go ahead its all good - I'm gonna go....cling to him gleefully, honestly." You just. You are just Attention Starved by now.

necroticarachnidism

Rather undignified giggling at the swatting. Amporas.

"I think I'll take you up on that. I might drop by in a few hours to thank Caesurae personally, since it sounds like he'll be here for a while."

caepaecaesurae

The pants obediently stopped ringing when Nadaya refused the call.  Caesurae would be more than happy to apply attention to his missing and beloved quadmate, and to meet with Mindfang later.

trolljacksparrow

"Hey now," he couldnt contest that though. "Hey...now...listen." yeah. Yyyeaaah. Yeah, Nad's gonna dissappear to his quarters for a change of clothes at the least, and transportalize over to be very grateful and very tired at Caesurae - adrenaline barely let him sleep - but mostly just to be delighted and cuddle him.

caepaecaesurae

Caesurae missed him, and is glad he's back, and will happily cuddle him through a nap.

trolljacksparrow

The most affectionate nap. The most.

#ooc #logs.txt #drugs //

[super-alittlefunnysunflower-blog]

The letter lost at 2:16

Freedom. To truly be in charge of the decisions you make. To not have to run anything by anyone. If you wanted to have that can of coke at 2AM you could. If you randomly decide to drive to McDonalds at 4AM you could. Or walk the beach all night until morning, then climb into your bed without any worries. When you fought so long and hard for someone, just to feel at the end, that they were the one keeping you locked away. So when you finally get out, youre mad with the taste of freedom.

Does that explain all the empty faces? The hollow conversations? Is that what I was searching for when I found you? And I thought to myself. This is it. This is everything on my list, and if I can make this work, I know I can make this work, then I’ll have everything. My freedom, I make enough to bring to the table, I’m doing everything on my own. And you, you will be by my side. We both understand each other. We both know what it’s like in our situations.

Maybe it was where I was at in my life currently, how badly I was ready to be done, to have the last puzzle piece to have the “perfect life” and check everything off on this made up list I had in my head. This list that once completed, I considered my life a success.

And every bright red flagged I ignored, and I grasped at every excuse I could provide for you in my mind. 

Everyone can tell. When someone is interested in them, when it’s exciting and new. It’s the Good Morning messages, and the Good Night texts, it’s the shit talking during games, and the inside jokes and pet names. And you smile when their name pops up on your screen, because it’s new, theyre exciting, and it’s fun. It’s fun getting to know someone where you feel the longing is mutual. And right when that starts to shift, everyone feels it, the dread. The disappointment. The wonder, of what went wrong. Then you shrug it off, and move on. But you’re different. I think narcissist is how the world describes people like you. And I thought, to spend so much on a ticket for me to go to a party to meet all of your coworkers, maybe I’m over thinking things. And from my memory, it was a good night. And you offered and treated me to breakfast the next morning. Then that was it. Gone. And I was upset, but, dont be weak. 

Is this something that is taught? Or something that is learned? To not appear vulnerable? We see it all the time, “If  they wanted to message you they would”. The week before Christmas there you were, out of nowhere. It had been two weeks since that party. Two weeks since I last saw your name pop up on phone. And there it was, a long drawn out apology and explanation. “I’m so sorry, I went out of town, and left my phone. I tried to look you up, I couldn’t  find you”. And just as fast as your apology came, before I could get an opportunity to even think about forgiving you or not, just as fast as it popped up on my phone you asked, “Do you want to be my mine? I move fast but, when I know I know”. And when I tried to take the time, you countered me with a now or never. This was it I thought. This was the person that would finish my puzzle. Just go for it, this was what you wanted, right? And it was perfect after that. 

She tried to warn me. Out of nowhere, like a siege, it all came in. And it was so overwhelming, and work was so busy. I directed you to her, so you two could solve whatever unfinished issues you had. And I looked past it.

Do you remember the second date? The slashed tire? The stolen shoes? And I remember telling my friends, and he’s still here. He didn’t get scared off. This is for real, it’s us against my enemy, my keeper. 

It was routine, systematic. Every weekend we’d alternate. Me to you, you to me. And I was so proud. Finally, something simple, something healthy, something normal. It made every Friday exciting and every Sunday sad. 

So strange, you’re quiet at 7PM. No no no. It’s me. I’m over analyzing. Normal people do not need to talk all the time. This is normal. You do not need to say good night every time. Then the sun comes up, and the anxiety is gone, because 8AM is here, and there is the Good Morning glowing on my screen. The eleven letters that assure me for some reason, that I am just crazy, and this is good. 

12 hours I drove. I worked a full day. I was tired. All I could think about was coming home to you. I knew I had a long day, and I planned accordingly, I was going to drive straight to your house as soon as I got back in town. My stuff was already packed. But you forgot something at my house and wanted me to bring it to you before I came. Before I drove the next two hours to see you. So I did. This is normal, this was the missing puzzle, you’re just being lazy. Do this. 

Its the sitting on your bed watching you play your games. Talking to your friends. It’s staying up late and playing with your son downstairs while you played games upstairs. This is normal, this is what normal people do. What do you like? I packed a box of all your favorite things. A surprise. And on the day that all lovers remind everyone that theyre in love, I bought you the one thing you loved most. In return you gave me your old love. And now our weekends consisted of staying in bed at my house too. Playing games while I watched. This is happiness. This is normal. 

You never had a blanket. You had three small ones. And we wouldn’t curl up together. Because you’d get hot, and the room was hot, because you didn’t like the fan on. This is normal, this is what you wanted. But then there it was. A black comforter we could share under the same covers. Thank you to your friend who bought it for you. Youre over thinking things. That is normal. This is normal. 

I sat through it all, because I wanted it to work badly. After searching and weeding out through so many empty people, I was determined for this to be the missing piece. Your interests became my interests, because I wanted this to be it. I wanted to show the world I found my freedom, and I chose who was the person for me. That I changed my ways, and for the right person, I became a good person. But every Sunday that came by, I knew it didn’t feel right. I knew the comforter was wrong. The days where I’d be on your bed, as if I didn’t exist, while I stared at your screen, played on my phone to pass the time. The time where my throat was so dry because I hadn’t spoken a word in hours. I drive two hours for this. It was the bliss that lasts 7 seconds, every time. This is normal. This is what you wanted. With your freedom, this is what you picked.

And even once I broke free. When I found my strength to finally decide,this was not my missing piece, to choose that I deserved more, that it was okay to want more. My strength was gone. In that second I turned from you, Instead of 180 degrees, I kept going, and I was making my way back to you, a full circle, the entire 360. Begging for forgiveness. And in the end after three days of silence, it was me. I apologized. Shame for wanting more. For not being happy with what I had.

It was such an awful week. I messed up so bad. Just get to Friday. You can do it. Get to Friday, and it will be okay. You’re moving forward. You’re meeting the family. And for once. I was going to be vulnerable and instead of closing up, I was going to call, not text, but call you about my day. Even though it was after 7PM, and after 7PM youre always gone. But you answer, you assured me that night it would be okay. It was a Wednesday night, and you told me, everything would be okay. It’s Thursday, just have to make it through today. I wont go to jail. It will be okay. You messed up. But it will be okay. And as I drove to work that morning, it was feeling okay. It would be okay. 8AM comes and my phone pings. But it’s not the good morning glow that brightens my screen, its a drawn out paragraph. So sweet. Words of encouragement. I sit at the red light and read, but no. You did some thinking, and you cannot get attached to me you say, but it’s not me, its you. Or maybe its the distance. And my heart sinks. And I pull over and I cry. What else can go wrong? But not anymore. You’re not weak. Do not call. Do not respond anymore than he deserves. “ :(  “ 

And it was done. I meet you two weeks later, take back whatever things i left at yours. We hug, you say “it’s good to see you”, and I drive off, because I’m meeting someone else, and not for a second will I let you know how hurt I was. But you’re on my mind. Maybe it’s all these moments that make me who I am. Its why I think the way I think. Never let them know how much they meant to you, how they affected you. And you will always want what isn’t yours. You will always be that thought in the back of my head, and I will always wonder, why?

Enough. I took a break. Screw the missing piece. I’m the missing piece. Self love right? And even though a blank page fell in my lap and even though I was so happy and content. You were in the back of my head. Wondering why, even if I wasn’t thinking it, the thought still ate and breathed and slept. 

And again, out of nowhere there you were. It had been two months? Yes. See how happy I am, see how amazing my life is now. So I was game, and I accepted. But we didnt talk. I knew the thought was still there, because I purposely had to be blind to you. I couldn’t and didn’t want to see things, because I knew it’d upset me. And there I was. 1AM foolishly going through your timeline. And there it is. It’s a Thursday, the worst day of my career, the day you assure me, “everything would be okay”. There it was, “In a Relationship”. And my heart sank. Despite how happy I thought I was, you still affected me. It hurt. It hurt to realize how foolish I had been the entire time. But it was also that same night, I realize how precious this new found love meant to me, and with that, the thought that always lingered in the back of my mind was finally gone.

When my paper crumbled. months later, there you were again. Out of the blue. And it was comforting. I could feel the thought creep back in, and become a living breathing idea in my head. At a time I was feeling the most unwanted, the one person from my past who made me feel second best continuously, was comforting me. And it all shattered within a week. It was done. I lost it all. You threw the ball, and I was game. Because it made me feel better. It made me feel wanted. You can be someone people want. Especially when you’re feeling like the most unwanted thing in the world. Yes it was my words, my choices that helped seal the deal, and put the nails in the coffin. In the end for what? To satisfy questions I never got the answer to? 

Its been months, and nothing changes. Like clock work. You’re here for just a moment, to remind me, that you’re a thing I will never have. And we’ll joke. And you’re such an asshole. You’ll say the meanest things. So this is who you really were? You would date people and when things would go south or when you needed some morale boost there you were again. A ping on my phone. And I’d always be game. Advise you on what to do. And I thought I came to understand you. 

This kid, who wasted his younger years married, and started a family. For it to all go away. This was his freedom now. What moments  did you have that made you who are? Why do you treat others the way you do? Why is it so hard to be vulnerable? And I listen to you when you speak. You put them down, you revel at making them cry. You look for the fights. Because if they show the first signs of not wanting you, you turn on them, and engage in argument. Hurt them before theyre able to hurt you, is what you’d tell me. So I toy with you. I let you feel like you’ve hit that point in the cycle with me, where you think I’m on the verge of crying, and then I go 180, and randomly say something nice, to make you feel like I want you, just to see your reaction. Which, every time, you instantly withdraw, you’re confused, but your white flag goes up. And its so predictable each time. Do you even  notice what it is that I do? Im fucking with you. Just studying your reactions. Wondering what makes you, you. What happened to you, that this is how you interact with everyone. And again every time I’m done playing this game, when I’ve closed the book, there you are again. You somehow find a way to be that ping on my phone. And theres a part of you that is always able to pull on a piece of my heart. Theres always this longing where I miss the routine of the weekends. That forgets how miserable I was sitting on that bed. That forgets the hurt on the Thursday. And maybe thats why I still play. Not because I feel you will change, but have accepted this is just who you are, for whatever reasons you have. And although I will never want you to be mine, I will always have this place for you, because despite understanding the what you are, I will never know the why. And with every random ping that comes in, it’ll be the food that feeds that thought that still lingers.