#a third becauae I am a

[gonzodangerfeels]

I am serious about those lips. Seriously,.they are missing mine against them.

#convenient you could inspire me to give you whaf you needed #completely understandable if you were there though #and tongues #forever 44 or Capital 53 #I was out with two woken and who did O end up talking to the most? #a third becauae I am a #pimp I guess #our nise is similar but mine is all big #stuffy nose? again? #can you run a string uo your nose and out like a netti pot #dydoes for booger picking 2023

[bitacrytic]

The Black Rose (4)

Read previous chapter HERE

♧

You feel so good.

Yohan rolled his neck from side to side, trying to concentrate on what he was working on.

I could return the favour.

He slammed his pen down on the desk and got up. He paced, rubbing his lips absently as his treacherous mind dug up memories of the taste of Gaon in his mouth. It had been two days. Two whole days of Yohan scrubbing his mouth and his body to try and wash away the memories of that astounding mistake.

Not that any of it could be helped by the fact that Kim Gaon seemed to think he could stare at Yohan all day. The boy wasn’t even pretending anymore, watching Yohan with unconcealed thirst. Seriously, this was why he didn’t engage with people in his personal life, much less someone who was engraved in Yohan’s personal andprofessional life.

You feel so good.

Yohan pulled out his phone, licking his lips as he dialled. Two rings in and,

“Good evening, Sir,” a man said.

“Is Josephine free right now?”

“I’m sorry, Sir,” the man said. “You were just here last week.”

“Is she free?” he asked again.

“Of course. Anything for you sir.”

“Tell her I’m coming over. Bill the extra session to my card.”

“Yes, Sir.”

♧♧♧♧♧

There was no reason to feel so nervous. He’d been with here countless times, with multiple partners. He knew what they were capable of and they knew exactly what he wanted. And yet, there he was, sitting in the room, with his jacket by his side.

As his host entered the room, her dark brown pumps clicked with step. Yohan sat up in anticipation, and butterflies in his stomach. He always got antsy by the third week of every month to the point that he almost couldn’t function without a visit. If he had a way, he wouldn’t bother. But his body had needs. And for some reason, breaking that streak for a blow job with his employee/housemate had wrecked Yohan’s rhythm.

“How have you been?” she asked casually, leaning on one side as her hips swayed the other way, her small pleated skirt going along with it. She was beautiful and a few inches taller than Yohan. But she wore heels anyway. As per Yohan’s request, she always came in new, fitted blazers and nothing underneath, never buttoned up, revealing the mounds of her breast within.

In her hand, was a slim, long leather whip. Something that brought Yohan more calm than he would ever admit.

“I’m good,” he replied.

“Should we start?”

He nodded.

“Ribbons,” she said, caressing her whip as the butterflies in Yohan’s stomach took flight. “Get on your knees.”

Yohan remembered getting on his knees before Gaon. Lowering himself without so much as a command. He remembered diving into Gaon’s pants like a hungry animal, desperate for a feel, desperate for Gaon’s approval. Unable to stop himself.

You feel so good.

Josephine cracked the whip, startling Yohan out of his thoughts as he stared at her in a rage.

“I said, kneel,” she repeated.

Gaon didn’t have to ask. Gaon got Yohan’s obedience by simply existing and-

She cracked the whip again. For the first time ever, Yohan cringed away from her as the sound reminded him, eerily, of his father’s belt. His father who held Yohan down without permission. His father who hurt him even when he was being a good boy.

You feel so good, Gaon’s voice said, so soft as if he was right in Yohan’s ear.

When Josephine raised the whip to crack it again, Yohan said, “Ribbons.”

Becauae he had no idea what he’d do if she did it again. Thinking about his father while hearing that sound unearthed an uncontrolled rage inside of Yohan to the point that he knew he might just hurt Josephine if she cracked that whip one more time.

“Are you alright?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned but making no move to come near him. They’d known each other for years so she knew when not to approach him, when not to touch him.

“I’m,” he cleared his throat, loosening his tie. “I’m alright.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

He remembered Gaon patting his hair with care. Even when he’d tried to be cheeky with Yohan, he’d been gentle about shoving Yohan back into his seat. Careful with the way he handled Yohan almost like he thought Yohan would break.

It was such a stupid thing to assume considering how Yohan was raised. Gaon knew what Yohan had been through. He knew how much Yohan could take. Hell, even Gaon had been on the receiving end of Yohan’s strength a number of times.

And yet, he’d handled Yohan like an egg, touching him tentatively. You feel so good. Yohan couldn’t get those words out of his head.

“Sir?” Josephine called.

“Can you be nice to me?” he asked, for the first time in his life.

Josephine’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but to her credit, she recovered quickly.

“Yes, Sir,” she said. “No pain?”

Yohan shook his head.

“Okay, then,” she dropped the whip. “Let’s start again.” She waited, giving him a moment to calm himself down before she finally said, “Ribbons.”

♧♧♧♧♧

The news was on in the study when Yohan got home that evening. He stood in the corridor wondering if he should go back out so he wouldn’t have to face Gaon. Then he reminded himself that he wasn’t a coward. Sort of.

He pushed ahead, walking into the study as Gaon paused the news.

“You’re back.”

“Mmm,” Yohan said, walking passed.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“I’m really not in the mood.”

As he got to the stairs, Gaon followed him.

“This is all your fault, you know?”

“Not now.”

“You came on to me, Sir. You kissed me.”

Yohan grabbed Gaon by the shoulder and shoved him into the wall.

“I said, not now, Gaon.”

“When?” he asked back, still defiant.

Sometimes, Yohan wondered if Gaon was brave or stupid. Because he never seemed to understand just how easily it would be for Yohan to break him. How easily Yohan could do... anything he wanted. And yet, he just kept pushing and pushing, with no care for what the consequences could be if Yohan decided to react to him.

“You said it was inappropriate and I let it go. But then you-"

“You are not my type.”

Gaon shrugged him off and pushed him away, eyes blazing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, putting some distance between them.

Maybe the boy did have some sense.

“What? Am I too young? Too inexperienced?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Or are you just looking for someone who will make you kneel once a month.”

Yohan’s head screeched to a halt.

“What did you say?” he asked, coming down from the two steps he’d climbed.

Gaon backed away.

“Nothing,” he shook his head. “I was just... I don’t understand you.”

“What did you say?”

Gaon flinched as his back hit the wall opposite the staircase, his eyes widening in what looked like fear, for the first time ever.

“I can explain.”

#the devil judge #fanfiction #bitafics

[okami-zero]

Random morning thought (that has been percolating in my brain for a while), but Solas of Dragon Age and the Ascians of FFXIV seem similar to me. Minorly spoilerish stuff below.

Both of them fucked up the world and are now trying to fuck it up again in order to UNfuck up and bring back the first world they fucked up becauae they miss it.

Now, I know very little about Solas as I have not played the games and only read snippets of fics and opinion pieces and such on here. I know a LITTLE more about the Ascians now that I am playing FFXIV, but I had gleaned a bit from fics. Actual stuff from the source is illuminating.

Now, I dunno if Solas is remorseful or regretful for what he did (which apparently was done put of necessity) but he seems hellbent on bringing back olden elf times (which would probably devolve as they did before(?) and then we do this ride all ocer again).

The Ascians have the (minor) excuse of being semi-immortal bwings who could manipulate reality, thus were, I reckon, unfamiliar with "hubris". And it is hars to fully accept/acknowledge/appreciate said hubris when you've been brain fucked by the giant endlessly-hungering pseudo-deity you summoned/created. And then sacrificed, like, a third of your remaining population to and had to be stopped by a different group summoning/creating ANOTHER pseudo-deity(?) to bitch slap the other one so hard it split existence and nearly everyone in it into thirteen pieces. Which THEN they go about DESTROYING because that somehow merges them back with the primary bit (except the one you fucked up and became something NOBODY can touch anymore) and also strengthens the endlessly hungering pseudo-deity so he can come back and, assumedly, eat all of existence.

So, SLIGHTLY different motivations. But Solasnkind of has a choice whether to continue with his "fuck it up to un-fuck it" ot not. The Ascians are stuck, though, through their own fault of fucking around and finding out the hard way. And while I so feel a LITTLE sorry for them, my sympathy is odten overshadowed by the sheer arrogance and audacity of them (three points in the counter, cheered at every one).

I refer to Ascians in their entirety, but I have a feeling (going by fics alone, mind you) that despite being part of the group, Emet-Selch is going to be much more like Solas. However, unlike Solas, even if he DID have some kernel of regret left that would wish to stop the whole thing, he cannot. Tempering's a bitch and all.

So yea, still want to grab every last one of them and shake them like a carton of full-pulp orange juice. Futile in one case, true, but cathartic at least.

#dragon age sort of #FFXIV sort of #okami rambles #spoilers for FFXIV #and maybe DA:I? #just rambles mostly #enjoy a snapshot of my headspace #xD

[narukouzumakinamikaze]

So.. am I the only one who thinks that fire emblem three houses is badly written? Granted, I'm still in the process of the golden deer route, and I've only played the golden deer route, but based off of the golden deer route, I'm questioning why they were put in this game when the alliance and claude doesnt seem to have any personal investment in the story being told.

Like, at the start of the game, I was confused when I was able to pick Claude because the interaction was more between Edelgard's empire and Dimitiri's kingdom. And I'm like, Wheres the third house? Am I going to meet the leader later? Is claude part of the third house? It felt like Claude was just there to be a third house to go with the name of the game. And that honestly feels what his character and the golden deer route feels like. It feels like it's there just to be there because the developers decided that they wanted to do three houses, but didn't know how to write a three way conflict. This fame feels like it should have been about Dimitri and edelgard.

And I love claude. I like the set up with claude. I even like the little aspect that claud doesnt have a close friend or ally in the golden deer route like dimitri and edelgard have. But he doesnt fit with the War that edelgard started. His story has nothing to do with that and it's not important to his goal. So I'm fighting this war and I dont have any strong feelings becauas claude has no personal investment in it.

It's like, why is it so badly written. I like the golden deer character. I even like that none of the characters seem close because it gives for better development between the supports that I sadly find lacking. claude is my favorite character and he doesnt have an important role, i dont want to play the other routes.

#fire emblem three houses #claude von riegan #FE3H

[justatemptumble27-blog]

Being a Dom

I recently read how it seems to be standard practice to have references when talking to a new partner. You give them a list of names, even exs, in the community and online and these people are supposed to vouch for you. While in theory I understand the intent behind it, I wonder if you can understand how tricky this can be.

For one, what if you have never had experience with your surrounding community? Either becauae of lack of access, distance, or in my case actual people. Who will vouch for you then?

Second, exs or people you speak with online. I personally do not see exs as a great starting point. But that's my opinion/experience. Some of mine, even if I could find them, while I am sure they would tell you I'm great at this or that, they would ultimately be critical of our relationship. As I am sure if I spoke to any ex, or partner of the woman I am interested in they would give me mixed information. But again this is my experience and I just don't see it working.

Third and here is my biggest apprehension about what I have seen. People lie, and regardless of who you speak to or look up...in my mind it just isn't possible to trust someone who is giving me references. Because I have seen it backfire.

If you want to set up a scene or play with someone knew, I get that you want that to be as fast as possible. And this idea of references has that appeal. "Oh look, here are people that know and trust me. Here is all my info and my DL. Yes, pry into my life so you feel safe."

1) Slow the fuck down. This isn't a race. If you need to prove your safe that fucking quickly then you are missing a bigger picture from my point of view.

Building trust is something that is supposed to take time. Especially and specifically when you are speaking to someone online. This is vastly, VASTLY different in person. Yes, in person it's easier to talk to people in the community or even find an ex. And that I fully support.

But online is a whole new ballgame and I am shocked at aome of the things I have read that people are doing to either prove they are safe or trustworthy.

2) again...slow the fuck down mother fucker.

Have you ever thought that the person you are giving all this info to may not be who they seem? Are you sure of the persons age to even be having any kind of conversation with them one way or the other?

Or is your ego so great you cannot see the many mistakes that you are making?

When I first got into this lifestyle many years ago I always followed what I believe are the core values.

Honesty, Communication, Safe, And Sane. To me consent was something that just had to exist and if someone said no, you stopped. And that is how I have gone into every relationship. See I don't find a random sub or pet and play out a scene. For me it is extremely intimate and will not do that with just anyone. I don't like to share the power nor the experience. But that is me.

And if you have built up that kind of trust with someone then you will, in my mind, default into an exceedingly close relationship. If you don't then I see an issue. But this is more a personal view point. I do not subscribe to someone having a Dom or Master who is separate from their partner. To me you are cheating on the other person even if they know about it.

And I say that because personally it feels like you are not being honest with yourself or them. If you are not happy with who you are with then they aren't the right person to be with. Couples in relationships make sacrifices everyday, thats true. But why would you ask someone you supposedly love to look the other way while you give at least half of what you are to someone else. You're cheating them and yourself. They deserve to be happy as well with someone who gives them everything back.

Honesty and Communication. You have to go all the way with it. And again, these references are great when in person.

Now if you are online and trying to use this method to get someone into a scene or play with you. Again I have to say SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

Talk a bit. Talk more. Make time to talk to them if you are genuinely interested. Share a face picture. Talk some more. Share another picture after some time. Talk some more. Do a video chat. Go outside and walk around while you video chat. Show them who you are, and then...maybe after a couple of months...and if you live close enough you can set up a PUBLIC meeting place during the DAY.

Have coffee, talk more. And keep doing this for at least 4 months. Because in my opinion and experience if they stop after three then they aren't worth the time. And that goes for both sides. But don't even think about playing a scene. Don't even mention it. You already know, especially being on Tumblr what each others kinks are or where they may go. But trust isn't about kink. Its about finding that person you can share with who will be there through the highs and lows. Who will catch you if you fall. Who will stay and build you back up and give, not just take.

The whole point of this is to have that fulfilled moment/life. That time when you are with someone and so in snync and know each other so well. Beyond the sexual gratification and power exchange. Beyond the roleplay, the fantasy, the whips and ropes. Its always about those two people connecting on such a deep level that there are no regrets and only understanding.

Its not always perfect. And relationships are never completely perfect. But if you are taking shortcuts and not taking the time to see with your own eyes if the person you are talking to is right for you or not...then what the hell are you doing?

[ihatelifeandithatesme]

A quick summary of my 16 years of life Untill 4 grade i was a "normal" child.i had friend and such.i was really joyfull to the point of weirdness.but in 5 grade i switched school for the first time It was a really bad school.i was constantly asaulted by kids between twice smaller and bigger than me.i wasn't used to anythinf like this.i was constantly crying and my mum was picking me up from school I was not as joyfull anymore but i kept my weirdness leading to me being uterly alone One day it clicked me And the next time the same bully tried harassing me i went ballistic and decked the fucker down I started getting used to this.i got friends I only fought for my and my friends protection I however did not establish a deep bond with the 3 closest people to me When i moved in 6 grade they cried for me I did too but deep inside I didn't care.i wasnr atached I however had let my hair grow long because i saw a boy with long hair and i liked it(i am aswell a boy) I got alot of harasmenr in 6 grade for my looks but got through 7 and 8 grade i was Yet again i. A new school.a private school This is a important moment as the friends i got here were the most permanent Both years i was generally a really friendly kid .more than half of all the classes were my friends.my class being really close to me.i however increased my weirdness and unpredictable charactwr in the sort od randomly slapping my friends Being energetic I was a medium height kid but really thin.i didn't enjoy fighting when it ocured but i didn't back down due to my ego.i did however earn some reputation as insane because i went batshit if someone hit me My friends all relied on me for emotional help and life advice and i was vakked a professional psychologist by many I am actually not full of self esteem but i always act like it.i laugh easily and am hard to offend Fast forwars to now 9 grade I moved again to another school All my friends missed me I just regreted not having as many people to talk to but didn't really feel attachment.just lack of entertainment In my new school I overdosed coffee on my first day and made the worst impression evver.still i cant get the ckass to like me.just because it is good for my intentions.not because i want them.more later I had All my life Dealt with a really shity environment My parrenrs fought and broke up 8 times just untill i was 7.i lost count after that.i was abused alot.i never felt anyone close to me I never shared as i didnt get through the problen easier no matter who helped What i felt was rhw definition of depression But i enjoyed ir I was independent from people and frienda Even if hell rose id still stand alone I felt good But 9 grade changed alot for me First off I was instantly a attraction amongst girls as i had grown to be 6'1.i had long slightly curly black hair which was the most liked thing in that school for some reason and i had started having a pretty decent physique due to working out And a lot of girls wenr for me My old friends told me to go for it But i didn't feel atractes to any of them Like.some were a perfect 10.but thats it.they might be pretty or sexy and even have a great personality But i wasn't atractes to girls I wasn't atractes to anyone really I didn't feel any affection of any sort except loyalty towards old friends and those who proved themselves But then i met a girl Lets call her. A She was extremely smart(i always liked smart people as they were more fun to play mind games with as they returned fire.in a friendly way ofc) She was really funny We were friends But she had something in her noone else had She was what i dreamth of in 7 grade The definition of soulmate We were the same She hugged me.i was unused to it She had a boy friend and i knew Bur she slowly started to like me I did aswell Which was new I had liked before.but this was different I actually felr her dear and important for me I cannot stress how much i lived for our chat and meetings After we started huging I burnt for hugging her I was entrapped We both confesed liking each other She kisses me once and then left as she was in ahurry I was shoked However si e days later i had a dream It was me and i.i told myself that i am weak I know how this will end.as does eveyrthing in life I yelled at myself that she is different Me.or what looked like mr said that she is a weakness to me i cannot afford I woke uo. But i knew that was true I sensed how ataches i had grown to her How much i cared But deep down i felt reality I told her i want it to end as i felt i was weak But she cried.it tore me inside I gave in We wenr on We were getting really close She started makinf out with me when we were alone I must stress rhat i NEVER initiated anything with her.she texted first and ended last She was going to break up with her bf for me On her initiative as well However A inside conflict apeared And i as always dealt with it alone for 2 weeks.i was detached from everyone in The meanwhile. When i finished however She was different And then she told me She taught i had sropped loving her(she was legit i was a total shit these 2 weeks) And her bf was over he startes making our and well They had sex She said she didn't want it but did enjoy it I broke down I was o. The verge of suicide for days Ihe came to pick her up and told me hi(we were friends) and because i always caries a knife for practical reasons Almost stabbed him I wanted to tell her i wanted it all to end but didnr know how to not hurt her One day i did She just took it and said she wanted as well I was slightly to say.shocked She just left me and wanted to leave I got worse Days later I realised i can't live without her I pleaded foe us to get back Quick story We did.it was all good She was however keeping her bf close As she was me We were getttinf closer Words of us havinf sex were excahnges I was really shy so ir was more of a "I wanr you inside me" She was legitly feeling me that way I was at a sleep over bur we didn't do shit.i was barely brave enough to fall asleep with my pants.we slept in one bed I was supposed to go again in april Ahw was enthusiastix enough and talkes about"that" enough to know what she was gonna do then However 2 weeks prior to April She started acting weird Whrn i kissed her she pushed me away and said she was Getting too horny or didn't wanr ir in public so noone can see us Howvwr2 i felt somethi f was off Day comes I wake up past the time i was supposed to go to hwr place I panic but no messages or calls In the eveninf she texts if i am angty at her for anythinf I loose it I learned fro. A source she incited her bf over and he slept there Guess what fucki f has happened.. I just loose it and break her off She again.says she acted that way because she wanted me to leave her so she didn't have to leave me and wanted to be friends I was however back in my old.psycho self 0 feelings except fucking hate I say i will anihilate her Shit goes on Fast forward I do t anihilate her as the last part of the loving me saves her.i could litteraly ruin her life. We started acrinf friendlier.i was uninterested i a. Friendship with her but she wantes it.we wenr our wirh a group Her eyes were always at me She wanted me to hug her but i always cut her off Fast forwars to abparty She gets drunk Confessed she still loves me it was all a mistake she cut me off becauae she felt like it was wrong I decide id give her a chance but risk no more I tell her to leave her bf She does so.he however thinjs she is just too drunk We decide to do it togheder the next day We dont.she says she doesn't want him. To be hurt and needa time alteadr two weeks to cut him off oai lesly I comply Later she wanrs a month I comply Then she wants 3 months I cut her off as it is getti f out of hand She was keepi f us both and was delaying f the inevitable She cries and goes suicidal I comforr her as best as i can.she is shocked how normal i acted when she told me the worst shit I gave her 3 months just so However i noticed she wasnt doing any damage to him.she was just enjoying havi g us both at the same time again.i get agitated I preasure her to do it She says that she nevwr said she was goi f to do it and she wantes 3 months to decide notbto do it I comfirm my fears.i say to her Now or never.me or him fuckig choose stop bei g a whore and stop playing She tries manipulatinf me sayi g that she wo t be with someone as psycho as me I say so beit You lied to me for the third time Thirds strike You are out This time you will hold your fucking words I say i will tell her bf(from now on Y) About eberything without savi f the details Unless she told him first I forced hwr to tell Y everythinf I laughed because she herself fucked it all up Fast forwards Y forgives wvwryrhinf becauae he is mad in love However A tried to hide that she still has him Says she is now single and feels lonely She wanrs2 ro get nack with me but wont say it Ive been betrayed too many times Burned by thw samw fire too many times She lost before she started What fuels me now is not fear of death or kust general curiosuty towarda life Ir2 is pure hatred towarda all that oposed me And i sweari in God and the Devil i will anihilate her and everythi f she loves for what she did to me.to Y and what she keeps on tryinf to do I was the perfect angel for her and now it is time to raise hell on fucking earth