#also I feel like my executive dysfunction has been getting worse so i'm having trouble finishing stuff ;_; | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dangan-happy · 3 years

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give me back my glitter, monomi!!!

hi mods, i hope things are doing well for all of you.. i don't usually do things like this, but I'm desperate, i guess. i don't really have anyone to go to. i DO have online friends, but they're already busy with their own problems and i don't want to make it worse.

since lockdown and online school started, my executive dysfunction is getting worse. i keep submit my assignments past due date. it's so hard for me to start working for some reason... especially past the due dates. i usually had my energy and motivation in this kind of stuff after some time recovering (even though it took months...), but after almost a year, i just can't seem to grasp that energy and motivation anymore. the feeling of overwhelm and fear keeps holding me back.

my parents don't help either. they keep me up until 12 or 1 am almost every nights doing extra chores. I'm more focused at nights, so i feel exhausted and passed out the whole day most of the time. if i tell them i have assignments to do, no matter how important it is, they would get angry and threaten to punish me by taking my devices away (which is not good bc i need them for school).

i did ask for help in a server i used to be in, they said sleeping, showering, and taking walks would help. but I'm not allowed to go outside, and if I *do* sleep, I don't have much time for assignments except for chores given by my parents. showering and pacing around my room wont help either. and if i DO get time to do my assignments, i would be scared and doubting to do it and find myself staring blankly at the wall for a long time.

i can't even do my own hobbies like drawing and reading novels because i keep worrying about my assignments!!!! but like i said before.. it's so hard to start working and stay focused. i tried so hard, but i keep blanking out.. and my hands refused to work. i swear, i really tried and i HATE being not able to work like any other normal students.

I'm scared for my future. my grades decide for my future and my family depend on it. I'm very close on graduating highschool. I'm the oldest child of two, yet I'm not showing a good example infront of my younger brother (who is 7 btw). I swear I'm trying to be a better person, not just for my family but also for myself.... I want to work hard, I want to be a good student like I used to be but I find it very difficult. I feel so alone.

that's all i could remember in my mind. thinking about it in more details make me feel horrible. i wouldn't ask for advices because i doubt they could help me anymore (although the efforts would be appreciated), but may i ask for encouragement from komaeda, rantaro and/or taichi fujisaki? (if all three can't make it, then I'll ask for taichi only instead if that's no trouble) i keep feeling about giving up and i don't want that. maybe a little push? my English isnt my main language, i hope i make sense. thaank you and have a nice day!

H-Holy moly with a side of macaroni, kiddo. That’s a huge plateful right there; you truly have been going through a lot, huh? Don’t worry about your English, by the way; for it not being your main language, you did a great job! Phew, for a moment there, I was almost ready to program some advice. Heh, see what I did there, kiddo? A-Anyway, I’m just glad you spoke up about just wanting some encouragement and a bit of a push instead. I hope a average programmer like myself can do just that.

Kiddo, I acknowledge that things are really rough for you right now. I-It probably feels like you’re up against this huge computer virus that you can’t seem to destroy or shake off. O-Okay, that was sort of a bad, bias metaphor, so I’ll say something else. It... I-It probably feels like despair; despair that might feel too overwhelming for you. But while I may know more about programming than anything else first, I do know something else that isn’t related to programming, and that is: You can and will get through this. I-I believe in the power of hope, and you should, too! I have hope in you, kiddo, and I mean that. I have hope that you’ll be able to fix your academic issues; hope that you’ll continue to work hard and better yourself as a individual; hope that you’ll succeed and show others just how talented you truly are. Of course, I know you didn’t ask for advice, b-but just keep in mind that if you ever need to confide in someone, please confide in someone. Don’t hold it all in. Whether it be me, someone else on this blog, or someone else entirely in your life, just try not to bottle it all up, o-okay?

I see a bright, hopeful future for you, kiddo. I-I’m serious! I’m more serious than when I finished my most recent programming project last minute, and that project was... a rather important, huge one. L-Like I said, things are rough right now, but that doesn’t determine your future. As long as you try your best, th-then what more can anyone ask for? I-I only ask for the best from my child, and so, the same goes for you, too, kiddo. J-Just do your best to stay on the side of hope, and keep your head held up high. I’ll even help you with gaining some hope of your own, if you want.

I-I know you didn’t ask for one, but if hugs count as giving you a little push, then mind if I give you one, kiddo? Y-You deserve it for having to deal with this much despair and fighting back against it. I hope some of this made you feel better and gave you what you wanted. I’ll be on my computer if I’m needed again, kiddo.

Hey there anon, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help out. Things are going pretty well for me, thanks for asking, but let's focus on you now. I'm real sorry you're so desperate. Yeah, this whole blog thing is an interesting way to do things, but I'm glad we can be an outlet for you, at least for now. That's a real nice thing for you to do, worrying about your friends like that. Just know that you don't have to keep things like this in. You're not a burden, and you don't have to stay quiet. I can't say I know too much about executive dysfunction, at least at a personal experience level, but I do have a general idea of what it is. Times are freaking crazy. It makes sense that you're relapsing, as crappy as that is. You said that fear is holding you back, and is there something specific that makes you afraid? Maybe exploring that will help you out a little.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like your parents are any help at all! What chore is important enough for you to stay up past midnight? That seems more than a little crazy in my book, and I think that's probably a big thing that's holding you back from getting stuff done. You've obviously heard this before, but sleep is important. With the chores thing and device thing combined, yeah, they're a huge roadblock. Yeah, that is some pretty good general advice you got from the other server, but yeah, I don't think that's gonna be too helpful for your specific situation. Is there any way you could motivate yourself? That's another thing that doesn't help in all situations, but it's something to keep in mind. Hey, you can't help the fact that you don't work like other students, you can't control your feelings all the time, and that's ok. It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of chores, minimal sleep and stress over assignments, and that would take a toll on anyone. Could you use your hobbies as a way to motivate yourself? Maybe work for five minutes, then read or draw for five minutes?

Hey, you're almost graduating, and I think that's awesome! Even if you're struggling a little now, you've come a long way. Honestly, I don't think you should feel too guilty about not being a good example. Honestly, I don't think you're a bad example at all. The odds are kind of against you, and you got things and people actively making it harder. I can tell how hard you're working, and that's seriously amazing. You've sure as hell earned my respect. I think you're actively fighting to be the person you want to be, and I'm so proud of you for that. You're not alone, that's for sure. I'm no stellar student myself, and I've seen a whole lot of people give up way faster than you have. It's ok, you got your point across, and you don't gotta think about it anymore if you don't want to. Honestly, yeah I don't think I have a whole lot of advice aside for this. I think you wanna talk to teachers, or a counselor, or any other professional who can get you some extra help. There's not a lot I or any non professional can do on our ends, and I think the extra help would really help you out. Yeah, you sure as hell shouldn't give up. You're so close, and you're not as hopeless as you think you are. I can tell you're fighting for this, and I know you can make it all the way through. It might take a little bit of extra work, but I know you're tough and resourceful enough to see this through to the end. You're already a good person, and continuing to want to be better is really impressive. You're an amazing person, and you can handle this ok? Try to have a little faith in yourself. Honestly, your English seems fine to me, I never would have guessed it wasn't your first language. Anyways, I really hope this helped, I wish I could do more for you. You can do this, I know you can. I hope you have a nice day too!

My my Anon, your Luck seems to be all over the place. Truly Despair is trying to sink it’s disgusting claws into your life. Your English was fine Anon. You did a good job if I do say so myself, hehe. I’m glad you were able to calm and talk to us! I may not be the best but I shall try everything in my power to raise your Hope.

For starters, friends are supposed to help each other, it’s what makes you friends after all! If they are uncomfortable with you venting or that’s what you think, try asking them first before doing so, sometimes people aren’t ready to handle emotions like that. This pandemic has done a number on many of people. I’m sorry that it’s been going worse for you. Turning in assignments on time must be hard as well. But in my opinion, turning them in is better than not turning them in at all. Doing your work is also very important. I’m glad that even if you do have little energy, you try to use it to do your work. Trying to get energy to do anything is hard as well. I’d consider that burn out. Sometimes you just need time for your brain to heal, to process things that are happening in your life. I’m sure it’s quite overwhelming, how school has to take extra precautions and be online, or a hybrid class. It must all be very difficult to grasp.

Your parents seem to be a bit...strict? Having you up and doing chores for that long and that late isn’t good for anyone. It seems you tried explaining to them beforehand, but I’d like to see if you could try one more time. If that doesn’t help, maybe talk to a family member to help you out in some way? Maybe they help make your parents listen to you.

Hehe sorry, I’ve just been giving you advice this entire time! My bad, can’t help trying to help people, even if I’m garbage. Anon, I applaud you for coming this far, through all this crap and Despair, you’ve been trying your best to push on! Even through the darkness you’re still trying to be a good student and do your work! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad that you’re trying to take steps to help improve your energy as well, taking care of yourself is very important in any situation, no matter how little energy that you have! Once you graduate you won’t have to worry about this stuff for a while, and maybe things will get easier! I know your brother knows you’re trying your best, he can see it I’m sure! I hope you don’t mind I give you a hug! Hopefully it’ll help take the weight of your shoulders and give you some Hope.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #mod hajime #rantaro amami #mod rantaro #nagito komaeda #mod nagito

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tarysande · 5 years

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Tara… I read your post. I may have ADHD. I'm sort of wary to admit it after my misdiagnosis (God knows, being diagnosed with ASD means being treated worse than a mad dog, no matter how well one functions). I can't do things. I seek a cause--what I’m doing wrong, but it won't click. I should study but spend hours photographing. I say that it's my family and that I'll improve if I leave, but... I go days without showering because when I try to care, there’s a… block. Is it me? What do I do?

Okay, first things first: take a deep breath. And then a few more. A lot of this stuff can be really overwhelming, especially because it’s tied to ideas of self-worth and self-image.

ADHD can be (and often is) comorbid with other mental health issues. Especially if you’re realizing as an adult that you’ve had issues your whole life that have hampered your growth, development, or success. If you always feel like a failure, chances are you’re going to get depressed, right? Or, if you’re always worried about being late or forgetting stuff or letting people down, you might develop anxiety. Executive dysfunction can be caused by ... any of these, basically.

Boiled down to fairly simple terms, ADHD is not a personal failing. It’s trouble with dopamine and norepinephrine--the feel-good neurotransmitters. Craving sugar and carbs constantly? Might actually be because your dopamine levels are off and these are dopamine providers. Incidentally, dopamine and norepinephrine are the same things many anti-depressants regulate, which is why many people with ADHD may feel better (if not ideal) if misdiagnosed (or only diagnosed) with depression (like me!).

If you have ADHD, you will have had it your whole life. Usually, they gauge ADHD by whether it causes/has caused issues in multiple parts of your life (i.e., school, work, home, relationships, etc.). No two ADHD diagnoses look exactly alike. Most general practitioners/family doctors will refer you to a psychologist, as they have more experience with mental health/neurodivergence. Unfortunately, many practitioners still apply the metrics that are predominantly associated with hyperactive ADHD. ADHD comes in different flavors, though. Hyperactive/Inattentive/Mixed. Also, some hyperactivity can manifest internally, like having racing thoughts instead of constant external fidgeting.

ADHD is still diagnosed far more often in boys--this is because the boys who get singled out tend to be hyperactive. They tend to cause disturbances. Inattentive ADHD gets missed a lot because it’s much more ... quiet. It’s about daydreaming, procrastination, lack of motivation. Mixed is what it says on the tin--a bit of both.

Another hypothesis is that ADHD gets missed more often in girls because girls are conditioned to “behave” and “be nice” very young. Many children and adults with ADHD develop (sometimes extensive) coping mechanisms and masks to hide their perceived faults.

Because ADHD is frequently associated with (slightly) lower intelligence (per IQ scores), it sometimes gets missed in children/adults with higher IQs. This is a good article with a couple of linked studies worth exploring.

Here are some self-report tests to try:

Adult ADHD Self-Report Scales

And from ADDitude.mag (a great resource):

Adult ADHD

ADHD in Women and Girls

Inattentive ADHD

While you’re at it, it’s worth looking at:

Questionnaires: PHQ-9 (depression) and GAD-7 (anxiety)

Now comes the hard part. If these tests are signaling that you may be dealing with ADHD (and/or other disorders), you’re going to need to talk to your doctor. And if they won’t listen, you’re going to need to put on your fighting gloves. This sucks because surprise! A lot of people with ADHD have all the overwhelming emotions combined with a really strong reaction to perceived criticism. This is called rejection sensitive dysphoria and it is a VERY REAL THING. It’s also part of why you may have been told you’re “too emotional” or “hysterical” or “overreacting” your whole life.

We’re pretty much conditioned to think of doctors as authority figures, so if a doctor dismisses you, that overactive reaction to criticism from authority figures may try to dissuade you from seeking a second opinion. Get the second opinion. Get a third, if you continue to feel dismissed or unheard.

Your doctor may/should send you to a psychologist. That psychologist may request additional testing. I suggest writing things down before you go in; in the heat of the moment (and when dealing with ALL THE EMOTIONS), you will forget things.

Anyway. I’m not a medical professional so please don’t substitute any of this for medical advice, but I have done a lot of research (and continue to!). I recommend reading up on ADHD. I found the book Women with ADD by Sari Solden very helpful. Another much-recommended book is You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.

And take another deep breath. I believe in you

#asks and answers #Anonymous #adhd #adhd advice #tara talks adhd #tara talks mental health #long text post

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adhd-informative · 7 years

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my boyfriend just got diagnosed with ADHD. He's 20 so he has struggled his whole life and is now just discovering he has this problem... is there anything that i can do to help him? i'm his exact opposite when it comes to my attitude towards work and mental health so i'm a bit lost. what would you want someone who loves you to do/understand?

I apologize for the long wait! This was such a good question and I wanted to make sure I answered it well.

First of all the fact that you are looking for ways to be supportive shows that you have the caring and desire to be informed that really makes the difference. Here is a list of things I’ve found helpful in the relationships in my life:

1) Make your priorities clear. It is easy to get overwhelmed and either try unsuccessfully to balance everything at once or else completely avoid everything altogether. While your average person can determine what is most pressing and work from there those of us with ADHD often have trouble prioritizing. It’s not that we don’t care, in fact it’s quite the opposite. Everything seems extremely important and we don’t even know where to start. So let us know. Tell us “X would be nice but Y is critical right now so honestly don’t worry about anything else until that’s taken care of”.

2) When we’re struggling with executive dysfunction it can be frustrating for everyone. We can’t get much done and we have so much we have to do, and so many more things we’d like to do, and other people are expecting something of us and we don’t want to let them or ourselves down. Yet doing anything is so difficult and draining.

It’s easy for even well-meaning reminders to sound disappointed. In my experience “don’t forget about X” is a a downer because in all likelihood the thought of X haunts my every waking moment but now I think that you think I have blown it off to the point of completely forgetting it.

“When will Y be done? You’ve had 2 days/weeks/months to do it.” is worse because now I’m focusing on my past failure and it will be that much harder to get the energy and motivation I need to power through.

The best is “I know you’ve been working on Z. How is that going? I do need it by this actual deadline. You’ve got this. I believe in you.” Sometimes I need to know there is someone who hasn’t given up on me so that I can believe in my own ability to accomplish things again. Reminders of past successes are also really encouraging. It’s easy to feel like a failure during a difficult period.

3) Emotional regulation is often a weak spot for people with ADHD. Often times the people we love offer us a supportive voice of reason and some emotional stability in our weaker moments. I a tend to be more reactive and I laugh, cry, and anger easier than others. Knowing that I can trust the people around me not to judge, poke fun, or blame is such a relief. My actions are obviously still my responsibility and a loved one knows when to back you up and when to call you out (and when to just walk away for a little bit).

Well those are some of the big ones. If anyone would like to add on please do.

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