#also how we make joy for each other as humans…… it’s pretty great

[alltheprettyplaces]

hayley williams could murder me and I’d say thank you

#paramore #also how we make joy for each other as humans…… it’s pretty great #a couple people across the arena started making squares with their phone flashlight during the opener and soon at least a third of the crowd #was doing it too and it was completely unprompted we were just having fun as a group #like what the hell man humans are great sometimes #anyway I love concerts I love singing and dancing and also hayley she’s a fucking peach #and I get to see them again next yeaaaaaar!!!!!

[randomfanner]

Gale + Tara Headcanons

I love Gale so much. SFW Headcanons only, relationship and also just general life headcanons I have about the worlds saddest oxymoron.

Labeled TW: Gale got groomed. We are going to be discussing today Because even if he was an adult(which he probably wasn't) he still got groomed because Mystra had so much power over this man.

General TW: Gale has self hatred issues. I hate Mystra. We will be talking about Mystra in depth I promise. Also Gifted kid burn out and general tying all of your self worth to a talent.

So, body type head canon because Gale does not have abs. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me Gale has abs. He is soft and a little squishy and very huggable.

Man is a cuddler. He always wants to cuddle. Whether it be you two be lounging on a sofa, each reading/doing your own tasks well you snuggle together, spooning in the morning, laying together after a night of passion, or whatever reason he can get to just hold you in his arms.

I think he is touch starved other than Tara. Which as great as Tara is it is not human touch. And gods don't... really physically touch. So I don't think he got very much physical affection from Mystra. So being touched, being held with your hands and feeling your flesh on his means so much to him.

He doesn't think he is good at it. But he still really likes to do it. If you ask him to cuddle with him, he will flip in his heart because it makes him the happiest man in the world to know you want to cuddle with him as much as he wants to cuddle with you.

Tara likes you. She likes you fast. She begins telling you all of Gale's stories from when he was younger, how sweet of a boy he was and how he would use his beginning magic to help people. If you give her attention she will purr so loud. Gale and Tara both really like chin scratches.

She begins calling you "Mrs/Mr/Mrx. Dekarios" pretty damn quickly. she has accepted you as his partner which she never did Mystra. it really throws Gale off when she does it. He admittedly thought Tara was so against Mystra because she was a lover period.

Tara also may begin to favor your lap. If this happens, Gale is... shocked and disappointed "You have stolen not only my heart, love, but my Treyssem as well." "Would you like to repeat that, Mr. Dekarios?"

And he wonders why she favors your lap.

She also favors you lap because she has to thank you for keeping her sweet boy alive for her. She may even allow you the honor to stroke her stomach a few times.

She also brings you gifts, magic items, trinkets, carcasses, whatever she can get her paws on and thinks you would like.

She takes you in fast and begins asking for grand babies. She wants grand babies and Gale's mother wants grand babies. The topic of course make your flustered each time and Gale denies the possibility of being a good father, but Tara is pretty insistent.

Morena also loves you as well and you best believe she is showing you pictures from Gale's childhood and telling you as much information as she can. Poor Gale just sits there and is extremely flustered well she recounts even his less flattering tales... but he does nothing to stop it.

He is really happy his mom and Tara both like you. It makes him the happiest man in the world.

Gale likes to cook for you. A lot. He cooks the fanciest, gourmet food and he is extremely good at it. He will set up fancy candle lit dinners with music in the background. This is basically every night but he tries to make sure it never truly loses its luster. (It never does).

He also makes you breakfast in bed. He has to crawl away from you in the morning to feed Tara and so he just makes you breakfast and comes back freshly deserved.

If you cook together man is smiling so much his jaw hurts. I cannot describe to you the joy he feels having you by his side, helping him cook.

Expect so much love poetry all of the time. Even when you are questing or not he will just slip a small piece of paper into your hand with all of his affections written down as poems.

He also quotes poetry verses that make him think of you, to you, at random times. He is hoping to make you smile with all of them.

Gale is so sweet to you all of the time. He treats you like you are divine, and to him you are. Complete gentleman all of the time. He does not carry anything. You could be a fighter with a 20 in strength with thighs and arms that could crush his fucking head like a grape, He will still insist on trying to carry anything heavy for you. He holds doors, pulls out chairs, makes sure your wine is refilled. He is so doting.

Man feels guilty that he is doing so little to help you at times. He wants to do more for you then he does. He tries to make sure you are pampered at all times. Kisses, gifts, fancy shows, lovely nights together.

But he tries to do more. he always makes sure to protect you in battle. He will take attacks, using shield and mage armor to make sure he can take as many hits as needed to protect you. He will be your knight in magic armor, a dashing smile well he does so.

This often leads to the ES(Emergency Shadowheart) because Gale is an over-confident wizard but if you are safe he doesn't care. If you are meant to be a tank, you may need to have a chat with him about the fact he is the squishy wizard man and you can protect him.

But it is Gale.

If you get sick or injured or anything Gale is fretting over you. He is holding you and yelling for Shadowheart like you are going to die at this moment. Even if it is a small thing he is very dramatic and very scared of losing you.

When you get sick or are on your period he makes sure to give you medicine to help with illness and pains, magic hiding the taste, and so much good food.

Tara also rests on your lap and acts like a heating pad. Purring and trying to help you feel better.

So like, after the ending I think Gale and you take a break from everything and just, go and look around. And Gale takes a break from magic. He can still love the art, and he will go back to it but I just think he needs to take a step back because magic and his talent for magic has kind of defined Gale his entire life.

I think him taking a break and just... being a person rather than a wizard for a little a while. He can be both, he knows he can. But he will need time and a deep breathe. He will go back, he loves to do magic. It means the world to him. But absences makes the heart grow fonder. And I think working on other skills he can be proud of and knowing Magic is one of the many things he is good at rather then the ONLY thing he is good at will do him wonders.

So I am going be talking about Gale's trauma a lot in the lower half of this. First, Gale's confidence issues and how fucked up the orb is. There will be comfort with Tara and you. After that we are going to get into the problem. The problem will come up in this section, however not the fact Gale got Groomed. That will be another different section.

Warning out of the way:

I think his self confidence and self image is being held together by the type of "I am good at magic". He was a prodigy and I think Gale only saw worth in his magic and his skill on it. He loves to do it too but at the same time he HAS to be good at it, or it feels like. He respects people who are better.

He did fuck up with the orb, but I also think he wasn't fully aware of what he was getting himself. Yes he should have known not listening to Mystra was a bad idea, but she didn't explain exactly what he did wrong until Gale talks with her in the game. This is years later.

Gale really needed Tara after he went from Mystra's Chosen and the Lover of Mystra to a fool who flew too close to the sun and came crashing down in a brilliant display of horrible glory. Man ruined his life, lost everything, and had a problem that Mystra gave him no ideas how to fix.

Mystra DID NOT EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO GALE UNTIL THAT CUTSCENE IN GAME YOU GET AFTER MYSTRA TELLS GALE TO BLOW HIMSELF UP. Gale was kept alive due to Tara. Tara was the one who flew off and found out how to help Gale.

I also think the only thing Mystra valued with Gale's magic knowledge and abilities. She is a goddess, she doesn't really eat human food, Tara and Mystra didn't each other, she is a goddess and I doubt physical touch was common.

So I think Gale being rude to you about magic, especially if you are a different class who can do magic and he insulted you, is because the is grasping with issues of trying to remind himself he is a good mage. This does not excuse his behavior. But I think when he realizes what he did he is going to apologize whole heartedly

One day he is just thinking about how you first met and he just realizes 'I was awful!"

He is going to hold your hand to his cheek, and apologize for doing that. Because you make him realize that he is more than his magic. He is more then what he has been called talented for and tied everything too for so long.

He isn't a failure if he fails with his magic.

Don't get me wrong, Gale can get ahead of himself and is pushy. I want to flick him in the head as soon as he begins thinking trying to become a god is a good idea in the first place. It is a horrible idea as much as I hate Mystra, don't want Gale to become a god. He deserves to be a good man with his wine, his library, his treyssem, and, should fates permit, you.

So, we are going to start talking about Mystra being a P*dophile and just the worst emotional manipulator. When we get to talking about it I am not censoring the word.

This is the end, I am not putting anything else below this. You are free to move along your day, you will not miss out on any of the good stuff. I promise.

This is the only notable part of this: I want Withers to be the god of Magic. He would be a great god of magic, he proves with Arabella.

So, Gale was like, 17 to 23 I believe the range is. And even if Gale is in the later half of that, he still got fucking groomed by Mystra because Mystra had and still has so much power over Gale.

She is the goddess of his greatest asset. His magic. And as we just discussed, the goddess of the thing he ties all of his self worth to. Mystra was literally someone he worshipped. She IS the goddess of magic. Gale had no power in the relationship and never did.

Mystra knows this. She is smart enough to know what is doing is fucking horrible, and get it, she is a god, but she is also a straight up pedophile. We all know about the fact people LITERALLY HIDE THEIR CHILDREN FROM HER.

I do not doubt that being Mystra's chosen meant doing everything she asked. I don't think Mystra took no for an answer in any matters. I also think mistakes were punished with emotional manipulation. Not violence like we see with Shar or Vaalikith (She sorta counts) but gods did he make Gale feel worthless if he failed.

I think Gale feels guilty for a lot of things a lot he shouldn't feel guilt for. I think one of the biggest things Mystra would make Gale feel guilty for was talking to basically any one else if it was not a work relationship.

I would not doubt if Mystra cut Gale off from his mother and would have from Tara if Tara was anyone else. Mystra is noted as a jealous goddess if you are dating Gale. I do not doubt that jealousy was a pretty frequent thing.

Tara hates Mystra with every bone in his fluffy body and tried so hard to talk to Gale but Gale would not listen to her because, well- she is his boss, his teacher, his lover and also the person who controls the thing he ties his self worth too of course he is going to listen to everything Mystra said.

Also Mystra 100% cut Gale off from any source of help he could actually get. Again, Tara was the one to find out about the orb. And I think more than just shame, embarrassment and being a laughing stock from one of the greats, I think Mystra made sure no one was going to be talking to Gale.

I want DLC where we beat the fuck out of Mystra. I really want to kill her. I know I cannot but she is terrible and she deserves death. I know I am captain obvious right now but I cannot stress this enough.

I want Withers to be the god of Magic. He would be a great god of magic, he proves with Arabella.

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldurs gate gale #gale x tav #bg3 gale #gale fluff #Gale needs a hug #fuck mystra #I hate Mystra so much #Tara is my favorite momma cat #gale x reader #Gale is baby #Withers should be the god of magic #tw: mystra

[x-hyzenthlay-x]

Hello I was looking at your "humans are space orcs" master list and I thought it would be interesting to add that not only we can lie, but also the animals on our planet and I think that could be something very interesting to exploit. Other intelligent species also lie, it's normal, but for an animal that acts on instinct to lie directly to someone's face is great. Like for example when you are latching and your dog just started latching too or just pretending he is hurt when he is extremely fine.

ASDFGH this is actually really interesting because lying is also a survival mechanism! Many species “lie” especially birds and insects and humans do it without even realizing.

The atlas moth has evolved to make its wings look like snake heads to scare off birds from watching them :)

Many birds (and animals like cats) will poof up their feathers/fur to make themselves look bigger than they really are.

Humans are interesting though, one of our evolved tricks is standing on two legs and being able to raise our arms directly above us thanks to brachiation/having our arms placed outside of our body barely attached to our skeletons. This is how we are able to hang from our arms and swing on branches ;3 however this makes us look a lot bigger than we really are thus making us look much more powerful to things like other predators and pray who might wish to harm us. Tigers and other cats have fake eyes on the back of their ears to make it look like they’re facing the wrong direction to protect them from attacks from behind!

A lot of survival experts will say that making yourself look bigger is a good thing and making lots of noise. Many animals can’t tell the difference and assume that tall/loud = powerful/dangerous.

Loud noises are often associate to danger, ex: animals attacking, a falling tree or land slide would be an environmental danger, storms ect. Loud noises generally just mean “dangerous” so humans having loud voices helps!

Then you get into the more complex lies. The ones that can be used for malicious intent. I would say that these have their roots in self preservation/satisfaction. Animals trick each other quite often for food and attention and such. Humans aren’t really any different, we might do it out of perceived necessity or in more rare cases joy of watching the suffering of others which is only really found in the more “intelligent” species. Orcas will torture an animal/prey species for fun. Humans have done this too. It’s pretty barbaric.

I like to imagine there’s a certain point where this goes away. Like more advanced beings who travel literal galaxies have kind of evolved past basic instincts. They’re probably still there but not nearly as prominent. They probably know about lies and there’s probably species who have no use for it or never really did. Like purely telepathic species would be able to detect it much easier but they also likely have much less miscommunication issues. I feel like false info in general is so deeply integrated into evolution it’s almost impossible to avoid and possibly even necessary all to some extent.

I think lying is pretty well established in the universe but it would be fascinating to see a species who has no concept of it. They would probably look a lot like the dogs who get fooled by the disappearing blanket trick

It would actually be funny to try this on an alien tbh, sorry this took so long I had no clue I had something in my ask box 😭 it never told me?

Masterlist

#humans are space orcs #aliens #humans are weird #humans are deathworlders #haso writing #haso #humans are space australians

[marquezian]

‘Some PRs won’t be happy until MotoGP is just a corporate event, stripped of its beauty and soul’

(OP Note: Mat Oxley has a new article out about his battle with KTM's PR but its behind a paywall so I grabbed it since it's a great read! here's the original link)

The MotoGP paddock can be a battlefield between PRs and journalists, who have opposing goals. Once again Mat Oxley has a MotoGP PR machine coming after him and this time the fallout is gloriously entertaining

A couple of years ago I had a disagreement with the PR people from a MotoGP team who tried to stop me doing my job.

I wrote a blog about it. Because a journalist’s only power comes from his or her laptop. If we don’t tell these people to back off, pretty soon there’ll be no point in journalists attending races, so you’ll all just have to enjoy the PR releases instead.

Also, these stories offer fans an interesting insight into the weird and occasionally wonderful dynamics of a journalist’s life in the paddock.

Even better, this latest story is hilarious in its craziness. The team’s PR machine started out complaining that I hadn’t used a certain word in my story (even though I had), while banning their engineers from using that word.

Freaking weird.

It seems like PRs like these won’t be happy until MotoGP is no more than a soulless corporate marketing event, stripped of all its joy and beauty, existing purely to sell you stuff, with a bit of motorbike racing on the side. Just like Formula 1.

Most MotoGP PRs do a great job. They arrange interviews and generally help us to write about MotoGP. Back when I started, in the late 1980s, the only way to talk to a rider was to go knocking on his motorhome door. Or his tent.

Now some PRs behave like we’re there to help them do their job (flog product), rather than the other way around. If any PRs are in doubt about this, the clue is in their job title: PR, for press/public relations.

I still love MotoGP for the racing and technology, and I enjoy talking to the world’s greatest riders and engineers, but the layers of PR bullshit grow thicker and stickier each season.

Clashes between journalists and PRs are inevitable, because they have contradicting objectives. Journos want to dig into what’s going on, while a PR’s job is to protect the brand. Truth isn’t their number-one priority.

Like George Orwell wrote, “Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations”.

The world’s first PR person was American Edward Bernays, who during World War I was hired by the US government to sell the idea of the country entering the war, when most Americans weren’t keen. He was so successful that he set up the world’s first PR agency after the war.

Among his numerous corporate gigs, Bernays was employed by the US tobacco industry to get women smoking, because at that time few women smoked. He consulted a Freudian psychoanalyst and promoted cigarettes to women as ‘torches of freedom’. This campaign was another big success.

Bernays’ work spawned a global PR industry that now works in every sphere of human endeavour.

Press relations – as Bernays proved – is a psychological game: you tell journalists selective truths, giving them information you want them to have, while hiding information you don’t want them to have. You cultivate friendships with journalists, because if they like you, they just may be nicer to your brand. And you stay friends, even if you hate their guts, because that’s a game.

Also useful is the possession of a vague idea of how journalism works. That’s why some of the best PRs are former journalists, who swapped sides to make more money. “Journalism is more fun,” one journo-turned-PR told me. “But PR is much more lucrative.”

The Red Bull KTM team is one of MotoGP’s best – hugely dedicated, massively hardworking and well looked after by its management. It enjoys possibly the best morale of any factory team. There’s always a buzz in the KTM garage – the mechanics really enjoy what they do and usually give a friendly nod when you walk down pit lane.

Its riders Brad Binder and Jack Miller are great to talk to and its engineers are generous with their time when you want a quick chat behind the garages. And I’ve had some great interviews with motor sport director Pit Beirer, engine designer Kurt Trieb, technical director Sebastian Risse, crew chief Paul Trevathan and others.

I last interviewed Risse (whose nickname in the team, which includes several Sebastians, is Clever Seb) during last November’s Malaysian GP.

The full interview was published on this site a while back, running to more than 2200 words. The print magazines I work for – in Europe, the USA, Australia and Japan – are more restricted on space, so I had just 500 words to cover each manufacturer, including rider and engineer quotes.

If an editor says he or she wants 500 words, you write 500 words, not 499 or 501. Magazine writing has to be tight, with quotes edited for clarity and brevity. I’ve been doing this for more than forty years, so I think I have the general idea.

PRs who try to control me by telling me what to write is like me walking into the KTM garage and telling the mechanics how to tighten the RC16’s brake bolts. I’d rightly get a slap.

And yet a KTM PR thought it a good idea to tell me how to do my job. This PR accused me of making “misquotations” in my magazine story and asked me to contact my editors, so they could make “the necessary corrections to reflect what was said accurately”.

At first, I thought it was a joke because I still have the tapes and transcripts of the interviews.

But I take the attack seriously. KTM asked these magazines to correct my text. I have no contracts with any of the magazines that publish my stuff, so I’m only ever as good as my last story. And why would an editor want to employ a journo who changes quotes to alter their meaning? Because that’s a serious crime in this job.

The attack seemed especially perverse because my story was very complimentary about KTM’s MotoGP project – “It’s a fantastic motorcycle to ride,” said Miller

To make sure I wasn’t being wrongheaded, I forwarded KTM’s email to two renowned MotoGP journalists, who between them have covered the championship for eighty years.

“I can’t understand what the complaints are about,” wrote Michael Scott, the doyen of MotoGP journalists, who started covering GPs in the early 1980s. “It is a journalist’s job to edit comments for brevity and comprehensibility. However, if someone is going to nitpick about exact wording, you either have to adopt the approach of [a former MotoGP journalist] and publish every ‘um’ and ‘er’ and every half-finished sentence and end up with overlong garble, or report in indirect speech, to preserve clarity and ensure brevity. They are nitpicking because they are nits.”

Sounds like a carpet stroller trying justify their existence,” wrote my other colleague, who covered his first GP around the same time. “It’s astounding, just mindless nitpicking. The really baffling thing is that the context of your story is 500 words of positivity about how KTM are tech trendsetters!”

I would’ve published the rest of this email, but it was way too rude.

I even contacted Britain’s National Union of Journalists to ask its opinion. “I can’t see anything that changed the meaning,” replied an NUJ advisor.

So why is KTM so mad at me?

The first complaint concerned my magazine headline and subsequent discussion about the RC16’s carbon-fibre frame.

(Italics denote their words.)

“We note that in the headline you included ‘CARBON’ whereas in the text itself you’ve removed this and kept it to just ‘frame’.”

A quick read of the story – below – reveals that the word ‘carbon’ did indeed appear within the story. Twice. Whatever they’re smoking is making them paranoid and confused. And a bit sleepy too.

Next, KTM complained about this.

“We are convinced that sooner or later everyone will have carbon frames,” says Risse.

This sentence was edited for clarity from the original, “We are convinced that sooner or later everyone will end up on this”. This was Risse’s answer to my eighth consecutive question about the RC16’s carbon-fibre frame, so there was no doubt that “this” referred to carbon frames, so the meaning hasn’t been changed.

Their last complaint concerned this Miller quote…

“We’ve been able to find more grip with the carbon-fibre frame, so the thing I’ve been working on is understanding the front end to carry more corner speed.”

This quote was subbed for clarity and brevity, from 49 words to 28. Cutting text is a major part of a journalist’s job – in fact it often takes longer to edit a story down to the required word count than to write the first draft.

This was Miller’s full quote…

“We’ve been able to find quite a bit more grip with the new chassis, so that’s the biggest thing we were trying to chase and we’ve got some steps coming to keep improving that and trying to understand the front end a bit more, to carry some corner speed.”

Again, both quotes say the same thing: the new frame gives more grip, but we need to find more corner speed.

What the PRs would’ve liked me to write was something like this, to signal each of my edits to the reader…

Risse, “We are convinced that sooner or later everyone will end up on [have] this [carbon-fibre frame technology]”.

And…

Miller, “We’ve been able to find [quite a bit] more grip with the new [carbon-fibre] chassis [sic, the swingarm was already carbon-fibre], so [that’s the biggest thing we were trying to chase and we’ve got some steps coming to keep improving that] and [Ed: what he’s been working on is] trying to understand the front end a bit more, to carry some corner speed.”

There’s a reason you never read quotes like this: because they’re ugly to read, they make the speaker sound ridiculous and they use twice the space, so the story would contain half the information.

This is why I don’t like PR people telling me how to be a journalist.

As already noted, the story praised KTM’s valiant attempts to beat Ducati. Perhaps its PR geniuses would’ve been happier if I’d more accurately reflected KTM’s recent efforts in MotoGP and written this instead…

Despite massive investment from KTM and Red Bull, working with Red Bull Advanced Technologies (arguably the world’s foremost motor sport aerodynamicists), having one of the best riders on the grid and taking some of the key brains from MotoGP dominators Ducati and Öhlins, KTM is the only manufacturer not to have won a single dry-weather grand prix in almost three years, since June 2021. Even Honda and Suzuki have won more dry GPs in that period.’

During the Sepang tests I had a lively, er, conversation with KTM, in the hope they’d realise their accusations were false. The PR doubled down, so I suggested KTM sues me, so we could go to court and let the experts decide. My offer was declined.

When I got home from Sepang I contacted the magazines that had published the story, because KTM wanted them to make corrections, where possible.

And this is when things got really funny.

The first of my editors that contacted KTM’s PRs told them he had reviewed the transcripts and story and saw no need for any corrections. It provoked this response from KTM’s motor sport PR chief.

“To be clear on this – nobody from KTM clarified that the new chassis was a carbon fibre chassis in 2023 and we were surprised and disappointed to read it as a quote from an official KTM spokesperson.”

So that’s it! KTM engineers weren’t allowed to use the term carbon-fibre to describe the RC16’s new frame, even though everyone was talking about it.

Risse and I spent more than three minutes talking specifically about the carbon frame. He went into some detail describing how it improved the bike but couldn’t actually say carbon-fibre.

How wild is that?!

KTM’s PR wonks had gone wonky – they were in a terminal tank-slapper, triggered by diametrically opposing brainwaves.

What I would’ve given to be sat in that PR/marketing meeting…

“Ladies and gentlemen, our genius MotoGP engineers have designed a genius new frame, so our genius marketing plan is to ban our genius engineers from mentioning their genius creation to anyone. Even though everyone already knows about it.”

“Dude, you’re a marketing genius!”

High-fives all round.

I assume that following this great meeting of the minds the KTM PR team gave KTM’s actual chief MotoGP engineer a bollocking for not telling me that the carbon-fibre frame didn’t exist.

Talk about the tail trying to wag the dog.

And now the crowning glory to this comedy wild-goose chase.

A few weeks after my chat with Risse, another journalist interviewed Risse and he did say the word that should not be said. (I wonder if the crack PRs returned to the office of their actual chief engineer to give him another bollocking.)

So, the PR boss was being economical with the truth when he told me that, “nobody from KTM clarified that the new chassis was a carbon fibre chassis in 2023”.

These people have their knickers in such a twist that I wonder how they get out of bed in the morning.

One last thought: a PR’s job isn’t only to establish good relations with journalists, it’s their job to promote MotoGP to a wider audience.

Considering that motorcycle racing is currently the world’s 30th most popular sport (after horse dressage!), I believe these PRs would be better spending their time trying to grow the sport – by getting stories in mainstream magazines and so on – instead of chasing after journalists for petty nothings.

Finally, I’d like to wish Red Bull KTM all the best for the 2024 season. They’re a great bunch of people (mostly) and I’d love to see them winning GPs again.

#motogp #* #*article #i love PR insights its like cocaine to me

[yoinkschief]

I have to talk about this because the Glass Animals How To Be A Human Being album is one of my special interests that album is so cool you guys don't understand please

The album features 11 songs, each one corresponding to one of the people on the album's cover(s), each one telling a story about that person

I bring this up as context as to why, even though everyone in this community makes memes about it, Pork Soda is THE TomTord song, and here's why:

Pork Soda corresponds to the old man with a paddy cap and glasses in the back of the album to the left of the basket ball player, and as such it's sung from his perspective

The song is about two lovers who fell in love with each other because of their spontaneous nature,

Somewhere in South End when you were fun You took my hand and you made me run Up past the prison to the seafront You climbed the cliff edge and took the plunge

However, this song is sung from the future(ish?), it's the old man yearning for the days when he and his lover were younger and full of sporadic energy, for when they would just pick up stuff suddenly and leave off on some crazy adventure,

Why can't we laugh now like we did then? How come I see you and ache instead? How come you only look pleased in bed? Let's climb the cliff edge and jump again

This is further pushed by the song's official music video where it shows a literal divide between the two lovers, living different lives as they live on completely separate floors of the house

The old man is portrayed as bitter and its suggested this song is him complaining about how his life isn't what it used to be to the listener, as he sits in his living room watching TV and doing pretty much nothing with himself, stuck in a constant loop of disappointment and resentment

Versus the wife who's seen with a dog that she's trying to get joy out of having, she tries to keep having a spontaneous life and do fun things to keep that spark in her going, seen with her dancing with the dog in the floor above the old man

I think this is great symbolism honestly, and it suggests the old man is to blame for this lack of spontaneousness in their love life anymore

Furthermore this is perfect for TomTord, more specifically, imo, enemies/friend to lovers to enemies WTFuture TomTord, although The End was also pretty good I think it would've worked better if it was pre Tord leaving and then Tord coming back, as that gives similar vibes yk?

It's perfect for them and I know this song is everyone's personal hell in this fandom and I understand why but you NEED to realize this is THEIR song

Along with songs like I Love You Like An Alcoholic and The Masochism Tango, the list goes on

I can make a list

I have two separate playlists for TomTord you don't understand how much I love songs

Extra information I know about this song that's cool to me:

Glass Animals got inspired to write this song after they met a girl (at a concert I believe?) with a tattoo on her arm that simply said "Pork Soda", and when they asked her why she got such a random string of words tattoo like that she said "cause I wanted to", thus inspiring them to make a song about spontaneousness

HOWEVER

I know the reason she got that tattoo and why she said that she is so funny to me

She got that tattoo because there's actually a second Pork Soda, a band album: Primus' Pork Soda album, which is, I'm sure, why she got the tattoo because that album probably meant a lot to her

Thus making her answer "because I wanted to" seem like the generic answer every person who has a tattoo answers with because everyone always asks "why did you get that tattoo" or belittle them for the tattoo "not having meaning", etc.

Just a silly addition I thought I'd add to this because I love this album so much please ask me about the other songs I know about all of them

#jay talk #eddsworld #ew #ew tord #ew tom #tord #tom #tomtord / tordtom #pork soda #songs #albums #glass animals #how to be a human being album

[o0anapher0o]

I've never done a fic rec list before but A Meal to Remember seemed like a good opportunity to start. In no particular order.

One of our reportes is missing by angstosaur. IWTV crossover with The Newsreader. Rated M. Louis/Lestat/Armand, Helen/Dale, Dale/Tim, Helen&Tim.

Louis sees Dale Jennings on the News and travels all the way to Australia to figure out what the hell Lestat is up to now. Obviously the logical way to go about this is break into the guys appartment and kidnap him.

This is just the best thing I've read in ages. The epic clash of firmly rooted in reality Newsreader and 'consequences aren't real if you're immortal' vampire world should not work as well as it does and it's a real joy to read. I particularly loved how beutifully the relationship between Tim and Helen was handled, as well as Louis getting to know Dale and seeing a lot of similarities between them I didn't expect to be there vs the chaos thrupple at peak insanity being generally horny and incompetent. It also has one of the greatest entrances of a character I've come across in a long time.

Renaissance by siahatha. Post canon. Rated M; Louis/Lestat

Louis and Lestat trying to make their relationship work in the modern day after Lestat spend a few decades in therapy. Louis still has some ways to go in that regard.

Deals a lot with Lestat's mania and Louis eating disorder. Also involves some genderfuckery.

Something about this one just really grabbed me. There are a lot of really cute moments that just show really well why Loustat are so great when they work and the heavy moments scatch that itch of 'why can't they just talk to each other' by putting them in a place where they can do that while still being true to their characters.

Practical Ethics by @prouvaireafterdark. Human AU. Rated E; Armand/Daniel, Louis/Lestat.

The famous Ethics Professor Louis fic. I tend to think of it as the Philosophy Student Armand fic but, eh, semantics.

So much fun to read and such a great set up. Strikes the perfect balance of keeping the characters who they are, especially with regards to Armand and his trauma, while toning the insanity to levels that wouldn't get them institutionalised in the real world.

And what I thought was gone by @nalyra-dreaming. Reunion fic. Rated E; Louis/Lestat.

Basically the part of TVL between Lestat putting out Rock videos and Louis coming to him from Louis perspective, set the amc universe. And then the reunion.

Nalyra has such a great way of getting into these character's heads. The journey from Louis thinking Lestat is still dead to realising he isn't to getting his hands on the videos and the book to finding him to them talking things out is so beautiful and emotional.

The Human Perspective by @bandedbulbussnarfblat. Part 1 of The Human Condition series. Rated T; Daniel/Armand.

Armand talks to Daniel about a mortal he once loved, whose memories he had to take so he could live a life.

Another one that hit me right in the feels. The longing! The dramatic irony! Having Daniel comment as an outsider on his own relationship is such a clever thing to do and very well executed.

Reformation by verseau.

Human AU. Rated E. Louis/Lestat.

Just Louis and Lestat being Louis and Lestat really. And Claudia. But make it human.

That is really the best compliment I can give: If those two were modern day humans this is what their relationship would be like: chaotic, toxic, destructive, co-dependent, full of issues, hang ups, addictions and love bordering on insanity. And brilliantly done, too. Pretty much all the trauma is acounted for and makes sense (in a human context), we get differnt POVs all perfectly in character and each giving interesting insights into their family and the different issues they run into over the course of their relationship.

#a meal to remember #fic rec #interview with the vampire

[bewareofthenewphannie]

Now that you’ve had some more time to become a phannie I’m curious about how your journey is going and I have some questions I’d love for you to answer if you have the time.

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

Hello there, thank you so much for the ask! But be warned, this is going to be a long one (I fully blame it on you because you asked some great questions).

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

If we're talking about what made me love them so quickly it honestly boils down to one very simple thing: their chemistry. Because Dan is right, it is fucking unmatched.

One thing you need to know about me is that I've always been very drawn to duos with dynamics adjacent to DnP's.

(One could argue I always wanted those previous duos to have the kind of chemistry DnP have but they never were quite there. I think that's a conversation for another time though.)

Okay, but what is it about their chemistry that's so captivating?

For me it's the familiarity between them. The teasing, the fondness, them bringing out the best and worst in each other (let's be honest, it's mostly the worst), their stupid jokes and humor. The way they know and trust each other. Human connection is always something beautiful to witness and to see two people who have so clearly found each other just makes my heart sing (out pure but loving jealousy) (yes, they're making my aroace ass crave having a connection like theirs with someone).

Some other factors that made me fall so quickly were that I had been missing the excitement of being in an active fandom with new content and also, I just really needed a distraction from life (don't worry, I'm fine, just regular first semester uni things (first exam in a week, pray for me)).

So when they came waltzing along with their stupid hijinks and their pure, infectious queer joy they quite simply made me happy. And so I stayed.

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

I wouldn't say I have one favourite but there are some videos I keep coming back to again and again for the vibes.

In this line up we have this year's halloween baking, the mukbang, giving the people what they want...

Actually, pretty much all of their "collabs" (this word doesn't seem right for them but you know what I mean) during the hiatus are very dear to me. There's something so special about them, probably because they were setteling into their new uncensored dynamic? Or because these videos mostly felt so chill and domestic, like they were just kind of hanging out? (parasocialness warning activated!) (Is this the right place to mention how much I love the stereo shows?)

The gamingmas videos are still too fresh and too much for me to pass judgement, but I think my current favourites are the pinof reaction vid (purely for the chaos) and it takes two (because it was so damn good).

Oh, and then there's big. But we'll get to that later.

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

I have been watching their older content quite regularly but it still feels like I've barely scratched the surface honestly.

Sure, I've covered a good chunk of the most iconic and important ones but I'm nowhere near a point where I would say I am genuinely caught up. Which definitely has its upsides because I can allow myself to be picky about what to watch.

Generally speaking I do feel myself gravitating much more towards the "newer" old content, starting in like 2017-ish. There are obviously some very good videos before that as well but so often it just feels something is off...or missing.

Some of my favourites I can think of right now are keep talking, dream daddy, honestly all of the baking vids and the impossible quiz. And the pinofs, obviously.

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

Yes, i do! However I do have a very different relationship to each of their solo contents.

Phil's (newer) videos just feels like a nice warm hug. I really enjoy watching it more casually. They're so very Phil every single time and I love this man, so it's a perfect deal honestly. I'm almost guaranteed to leave them with a smile on my face.

My favourite kind of his videos are probably the ones where he tells stories because he is amazingly (badum tss) good at it. Whether it's draw my life or some random anecdotes of whatever Weird Thing happened to him this time, Phil will find a way to make it interesting and entertaining.

Also, probably a quite random and niche video I really liked was the stereo one with Seth (whom I've known for quite a while). Phil brought out such a cool side of Seth, it was so nice to watch??

Okay, now on to Dan. I fear I'm about to out myself as a dannie because Jesus fucking Christ, he made this personal.

He makes me cry. No, literally, i have cried (ugly) on multiple occasions when watching his videos.

He makes me care. Yes, about him and his happiness, whatever.

He makes me relate a bit too much. You know, something about being queer and existential fear.

He also makes me feel like maybe, maybe it will be okay.

Look, I like his less serious content that he still puts so much thought into. I thoroughly enjoyed what he did with dystopia daily because apparently I am susceptible to whatever this kind of humor he has going on is. But none of that compares to big. And I think at some point that warrants a whole sappy post on its own because I really need to slow myself down here and it's almost 2 am.

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is the goddamn catboy thing. Starting with nora predicting the merch, the merch itself, the email, and finally the pictures...it's hysterical and surreal and I hate that I can't think of anything better right now. It's probably the pure shock and disbelief of opening the notif and seeing those pictures that has overwritten everything else. Also, the discourse here on that day was amazingly unhinged (let's just forget about the Twitter aftermath).

Catboy incident aside, gamingmas as a whole has been intense but also genuinely so much fun. I just love being able to come here every single day and scream with everyone about the most pointless little things that mean the world (to us). We really do have a nice thing going on here, in our little, not-so-obscure corner of tumblr.

And gods, we're not even halfway through. I am soso excited for what they have planned because it sure as fuck won't be any more tame than what they had going on so far.

THE END

(finally. if you came this far, have a cookie 🍪)

#I think our main takeaway from this is that you shouldn't ask me questions #(I'm lying you should) #(actually please do) #and now goodnight everyone see you tomorrow #dan and phil #misty says things #answered ask

[jelixpo]

So... did you like the movie? 😏

i thought it was really good! But I also joked with my parents that i probably would have enjoyed it regardless of what was on screen lol

my non-spoiler opinion of the movie is this

Mario and Luigi have a super wholesome relationship

Jack Black killed it as Bowser

Chris Pratt also did a really good job as Mario! I was surprised

Anya Taylor-Joy was just okay as Peach. Sometimes I thought her voice was a bit too deep in delivery for Peach but like 95% of the time I enjoyed it

I thought Seth Rogan was good as Donkey Kong but then again i'm not big into Donkey Kong so I might not be a good judge

also the movie seemed a bit short? And that's not just me saying that cause I wanted more, it felt like some scenes weren't fleshed out enough or had weird cuts between them. And I think I know who to blame for that (Mr 'let's remove all the story elements from Mario Galaxy 2 so it's basically just a Mario Galaxy DLC')

But!! Really enjoyable and I super recommend!

Okay, now under the cut I'll share my spoiler opinions

I'm gonna break up these bullet points differently cause like. It's a lot

THE BRO HUG AT THE END OF THE MOVIE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!

I know we didn't get a lot of Luigi which is a bummer but omg when he was on screen he stole the show!!

I also really liked the scene where they showed Luigi being taken onto the blimp and him envisioning his life where he's always had to be saved by Mario, and now he's in a situation where he doesn't even know if Mario is alive or not. It was a very quiet and introspective moment that, while it was rather short, I thought was really inciteful into Luigi's character and his relationship with the idea of bravery and how he views himself in comparison to Mario. And then!! The pay-off at the end of the movie where Luigi gets to be the one who saves Mario!! That was very sweet and I love that they showed that just cause Luigi's scared, doesn't mean he doesn't have courage!!

I liked the backstory that they gave Peach! And also the movie directly confirming that Peach is human in canon since that has been a question for people for a long time. I loved to watch her bounce around and show off her moves. And i love that they confirmed she's the ideas person! If they ever make plans, Peach is the one to recognize what to do, how to do it, and when. She's a proper strategist. I wonder if her parents are still alive in the human realm? And since she's from Brooklyn (I'm assuming she is anyway and that the pipe in Brooklyn is the only pipe on Earth, but maybe not) I wonder if her parents would have seen her face in the paper? Stuff to think about

Mario and Luigi have more brothers??? Once the movie comes out on services I'll have to get a closer look at both them and their VA's in the credits. I'm interested to see the age gap between all of them, since it seems like Mario and Luigi are closest with each other and not anybody else, which leads me to believe they're the closest in age and therefore grew up together in a more literal sense than with their other brothers (I assume so cause my dad has like 8 siblings and he's closest with my uncle who's only one year younger than him. Sibling bonds strengthen when you go through those toddler years together)

Also the movie was just really fucking funny. The Bowser song?? (I'll swing back around to that) Donkey Kong was super funny. Bowser himself had a ton of great lines. The line that made me laugh the hardest was when Mario and Donkey Kong were in the belly of the beast and Donkey Kong laments that his dad thinks he's a failure, Mario repeats the sentiment about his own dad, and Donkey Kong goes "Oh yeah? well HE WAS RIGHT YOU SUCK" that shit had me rolling. Great set-up and bait-and-switch.

okay Bowser song? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. IT WAS TOO SHORT. I WOULD WATCH A 5MINUTE EXTENDED MUSIC VIDEO OF THE SONG GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!! (Also i watched Pretty Woman within 24 hours of watching the Mario movie and the two piano scenes had me... thinking about things (bowuigi))

I like that they didn't directly set up for a sequel. Like there are elements in the movie that could easily set up for it. Like Bowser being small and only needing to be hit once to be made big again. Peach's potential parents in Brooklyn, a more Luigi-centric adventure that fleshes out his small but present issue with courage and bravery, the clear set up for Captain Toad and the Toad Brigade, the fact that there were multiple different areas they could have gone into in the pink cloud 'work between worlds' place. I doubt it, but it would be very nice

also the ending kind of threw me for a loop? Honestly with Mario taking the giant bullet bill towards the warp pipe I thought the story was going to be that he sent the bullet bill through and it destroyed their warp pipe back home. And then that would directly set up for a sequel to try and get back home and explain why they would choose not to stay in Brooklyn

Also, i'm not entirely sold on why Luigi would want to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom? Like yeah Mario chose to stay, but he got to frolic in fields, do training missions, and get with a princess. Luigi got captured immediately, beaten up and thrown around, then almost died in lava at the end. Where does he see the positives in staying in the Mushroom Kingdom? I don't believe Mario would have been entirely sold on staying either given Luigi being in peril there the whole time. For them to stay, it would have had to be a unanimous decision between the two of them that I couldn't really see them making? But i guess it doesn't really matter. They needed Mario and Luigi to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for continuity, so i guess it's fine

Kamek was great. 10/10 best supportive dad. "Dress in drag to help my adopted son practice his date with the girl he has a crush on? Say no more. Get me a matching tiara."

okay i was surprised how much they directly talked about violence? Like i'm super used to children's media where they dance around the topic of death with different phrases. "She's gone. She was shattered. He was forgotten. He didn't make it." That sort of stuff. It especially threw me off when Bowser was screaming about killing Luigi and making Mario watch. Like, damn. Dude is sadistic. The line almost felt like something out of a fic? But honestly it worked to make Bowser seem like a villain that really shouldn't be messed with. I think Bowser is often seen as a bit of a goofy villain, especially in comparison to some of Nintendo's other villains like Ganondorf who are and were depicted as sinister from day one. But this movie? Bowser has guns. Bowser kills people. Bowser beats the ever-loving shit out of Mario the second he meets him. This Bowser is not a force to be reckoned with.

Also his line when he's beating up Mario "You ruined everything! I was FINALLY gonna be happy!" like yooooooo. That has Bowuigi potential fr fr. And it's also crazy that Bowuigi fans have been saying this for years? Like Bowser is a very lonely, touch-starved individual, even with having kids. Every Bowuigi fic i've read has this element in them. And this movie really confirmed that those theories are true and I love that

and i think that's it! Once it comes out on services i'll watch it again and probably have more points to give

#super mario bros movie #super mario movie #super mario movie spoilers #spoilers super mario movie #mario movie #spoilers

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs the Good Place S1-S2

I’ve watched this first ep like three times and it took me until now to realize Michael is probably named after the show creator lmao

“One of the other people in your neighbourhood is your actual soulmate, and you will spend eternity together.” I just noticed Eleanor turning around and checking out Jianyu 

What happens if you were already married to your soulmate? Do they have a separate afterlife for singles 

“Why does she still have that accent? No one else here has an accent.” Chidi’s accent should definitely sound more Senegalese or at the very least have the tinge of a Francophone if there’s any accent retention after-death

Love how even when Tahani and Eleanor are being snarky about each other it’s through the lens of finding each other cute:

Unclear if the look on Jianyu/Jason’s face is guilt or worry for himself lol:

“It’s merely the construct of a dog. It feels no pain, or joy, or love.” This is because all dogs are in the Other Good Place LOL

Honestly I’m with Eleanor I didn’t realize Chidi ever had his own apartment in this show lol

“I won’t let you down... starting now.” I enjoy that Chidi’s face is a cross between ‘what have I gotten myself into’ and genuinely endeared by Eleanor’s ridiculousness

“I got a present for you... Senegal.” “That’s not a present; that’s just common decency.” Talking to white people really be like that sometimes

“I have what doctors call ‘directional insanity.” I’m Chidi, Chidi is me

I admire Jason’s prolonged stoicism lmao that takes dedication 

“Basically my life’s work is 3,600 pages of garbage.” Every writer has this feeling every so often LOL

“Not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.” I really do hope they make a point of Eleanor being bisexual 

Lmao the transition from Jianyu to Jason is INCREDIBLE someone give Manny Jacinto an Emmy 

“Everyone here thinks I’m Taiwanese. I’m Filipino. That’s racist. Heaven is so racist.” GOD THE WRITING ON THIS SHOW IS INCREDIBLE

“Is she single, or is she married to Michael?” Team Jason/Janet 4ever

The depiction of Florida on this show is right on brand with everything I have ever imagined about Florida 

The hope on Eleanor’s face when Chidi offers Jason a lifeline GOD we love a man

“I am here to learn about ethnics.” Everything Jason says is so funny I’m losing my mind

Kristen Bell is really the only person who can pull off this role of being so excited for doing the bare minimum of human decency and actually make it endearing 

Based on Michael’s timing of showing up every time Eleanor and Chidi are mid-argument I wonder how much of his day is just dedicated to creeping on them in preparation for dramatic moments lmao

“It’s very... middle thermometer.” They’ve managed to capture my South Asian parent-child experience in less than ten words lmao 

Disclaimer/sidenote: Despite saying this, I am exhausted of the way people in western media write South Asian parents lmao. Give me an Ek Ladkhi scene where the parents are also willing to beat down people who insult their kids. It’s so one-sided:

Rich people are wild I cannot imagine giving up millions of dollars just because my parents loved me less than my sibling. Even if you didn’t want the money it could serve so much use to other people

I love how down Eleanor is to have sex with any person she meets given the right circumstances

“I know we’ll never be soulmates, but we’re friends.” ARE YOU SURE ELEANOR

“How do you row a boat?” With great difficulty; oars are very heavy

Which woman is so hard up for available friends that they would entrust Early Eleanor with a dog with kidney disease

“She’s so pretty like Nala from the Lion King.” The levels to this comment

"Three person couple.” “Does not compute.” Janet said no polyamory rights kjhkjhkjhjk

I really enjoy this montage of Michael and Eleanor enjoying human activities they are truly #friendgoals lmao

“Do you like France as much as I do?” “Well, they enslaved my country for 300 years, so no. But, they have great museums.” “Yes.” Tahani and Chidi’s conversation about France kills me lmao

I guess Tahani can’t really fault colonialism since she’s British LMAO

I like that they experiment with all the younger main characters together lmao there’s some implied chemistry in a lot of directions with Eleanor, Tahani, Chidi, Jason and Janet 

Fshjdghkjdshgkjhds

Eleanor: But leave up the sexy mailman. To remember me by.

Chidi: [nods seriously]

Janet’s delivery always kills me but her Count Chocula Sobs and whispered confident, “Yeah,” is truly something else:

“Those are the coolest boots I’ve ever seen in my life.” I’m so Chidi sometimes u catch urself telling very pointless lies for either a very mediocre reason or no reason at all just because ur caught up in a conversation and can’t stop saying things to fill the silence and then later it haunts u

“Killing is one of the most famous moral no-nos.” Every line of this show is beautifully written

KDJHFKSJHFKJ I love that this episode is the turning point for Chidi actually having his own moral failings

"And even if she were okay, it would be too painful for me to live with these lies.” CHIDI U HAVE BEEN LYING SINCE EP 1 LMAO IT’S A LITTLE LATE TO DECIDE U DON’T WANT TO

“The problem in the neighbourhood is me.” Say what you will about Eleanor at least in the afterlife she really cares about her friends:

“You will spend eternity with murderers, arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.” By this metric, at least one member of my immediate family is going to The Bad Place

If, as by Michael’s measure of Eleanor we are counting on the impact of our actions and not just intentions (i.e. Eleanor making her cousin happy as a positive) then objectively it is bizarre that none of the good Tahani has done for others through charity or even just like, hosting events for other people, means anything in the afterlife. What gives

“You’re too nice to humiliate.” I feel like this is foreshadowing of Michael being a Ineffective Demon and Great Friend

“There should be a medium place for people like me who kind of sucked, but in a fun, chill way.” [Sad chuckle] “I agree.” Awwww Chidi is sad to see her go

“You should smile more.” Adam Scott really has mastered the art of portraying an unpleasant man lmao

OMG CHIDI AND ELEANOR HOLDING HANDS WHEN SHE GETS OFF THE TRAIN

“You know, it doesn’t matter if you know things. All that matters is what’s in your heart.” Jason said Himbo/Bimbo rights

“Sorry you’re snorting the... concept of time?” I’m sure people on cocaine feel this way occasionally

“Who are they gonna believe, me, or a woman?” Men really do be like that sometimes 

“He’s the wise, eternal Judge who sits on high, has the final say on all disputes between our two realms.” “And his name is... Shawn?” The real tipping point for believing this is not The Good Place should’ve been how every person in charge of it is depicted as a white man lmao

Djfhkjh I forgot when Tahani found out about Jason. The end of episode reveals are great they really do know how to make you want to watch the next one 

How does Tahani know every celebrity EXCEPT Ariana Grande lmao 

“Oh Ariana, we’re really in it now.” God. I love Jason so much 

“Hooking up with someone with the exact same name is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy, I could be into it.” [’NSYNC voice] bi bi bi

Who in their right mind would let Chidi be a team captain lmao

“Congratulations, Chidi. You filibustered recess.” Kjfgjdhgj teach them early  

Every time Eleanor mentions a political philosopher I had to study I feel sympathy for how truly boring they are lmao. Honestly I didn’t retain much

KJHFJHSKJHFKJHKJAHKJ ELEANOR’S MONOLOGUE ABOUT LOVING CHIDI LMAO

Chidi running away because two beautiful and fun women have expressed feelings for him, is really a my-diamond-shoes-are-too-tight scenario

Janet giving Jason his favourite kind of wings 💗 They’re so sweet

“So you also love Chidi? And you just told him, right before I did?” “Technically you told him that he loves you, but yes.” lmao u right Eleanor

Happy Pride Month to Tahani whose every interaction with a man screams of comphet LMAO

I know Eleanor and Tahani is not what they’re aiming for here but jhgkjhg:

Eleanor: Are you ready to take our bonding to the next level?

Tahani: [gay intrigue]

Ahhh Uzo is such a good friend he knows Chidi and he’s so chill about him being anxious I love this dynamic I feel bad that Chidi’s dead

“Jianyu is a hot dummy, definitely my type.” LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS AND ALSO ELEANOR REALLY WOULD SLEEP WITH ALL OF HER FRIENDS (EXCEPT MICHAEL OBVS) LMAO

OH MY GOOOOD POOR UZU AND A MONTH BEFORE HIS WEDDING TOO

“Does anyone here object to this marriage?” “Of course we do, how could we not object?” “Yes, it is a terrible idea.” “Overruled.” JANET KJHJKGHJKFH

Get someone who looks at you the way that Jason and Janet look at each other:

“True love is what Janet and Jianyu have.” YEAH IT IS

Digital Getdown being on the Jasonet wedding playlist was really an iconic move

Really it has to be a very mundane kind of torture to having someone foist a love confession on you lmao but I guess [Sartre voice] Hell is other people 

“I got ten bucks to my name. I spent 8 of it on this burrito, and the other 2 on the guac.” Been there Pillboi

The fact that Jason thinks Michael is Janet’s dad kkjdhgkjhg 

“I wasn’t a failed DJ, I was pre-successful.” I want to live in Jason’s brain

God we love a man who has emotional intelligence. Jason may not have a lot of logical reasoning skills but he knows how to calm someone down and how to love 

“Even when I do nice things, I’m only doing something so I get something out of it—the ability to stay here—which means none of this had any real moral value.” This is excellent Tahani foreshadowing but also I call bullshirt. 1) Doing good things inherently makes you feel better, so I think it would be very hard to find entirely selfless actions and 2) If you give care, time, or money to just causes and helping others whether you’re doing it for recognition or not you still have vastly improved someone’s life. It DOES count

“What if he reboots me and we fall out of love?” 😭😭😭 Let them be together!!!

Having Mindy live with her incurable addiction but be unable to fulfill it is a very medium thing to do

Eleanor’s first act of making herself comfortable in the Medium Place being putting photos of Tahani, Jason and Chidi 😭😭😭😭 She is SO endearing

Ajfhdkjhfsj Chidi immediately still wanting to jump in to defend Eleanor even after watching firsthand all the horrible things she did what kind of wholeass love and friendship

I have so many questions about where Janet’s genitals are located based on those diagrams, why did the second one not work

“I brought you two a little treat.” Oh my god Michael in Janet’s outfit hjkhkjhgkjfdk

Also I know it’s meant to be some form of torture, and like remind them of their impending doom. But what I see is a guy giving his friends a little snack

“I’m sorry Eleanor, but I engaged a ride-or-die protocol, so I’m loyal to Jason forever.” Get u a wife like Janet

The real question is why they had Kristen Bell play her high school self in a flashback if they were going to cast a teenager to play her later anyway 

Also as much as I love Kristen Bell: Definitely not a high schooler LMAO 

Maybe to draw a distinction between things she purposely did without regard for other people (as her main self) vs. when she was subject to other people’s neglect as a kid 

“I was dropped into a cave, and you were my flashlight.” Eleanor saying goodbye with a reference to Plato’s Allegory of a Cave the ROMANCE

I’d heard that the actors didn’t know about the reveal until they shot this scene so I’d be curious to see if they broke at some point 

“Didn’t you raise like, $1,000 for charity or whatever?” “60 billion actually. But it didn’t matter, because my motivations were corrupt.” Yeah call me a consequentialist but for one final time: I just can’t buy that doing nice things for a selfish reason COMPLETELY negates it??? Tangibly improving someone’s life situation, no matter what reason, seems like a good action. Fuck you Kant

“Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.” Tahani’s [gay surprise] expression oh my god 

I love how quick Eleanor is to think on her feet. Improv master lmao

Hjhjhkjhkjhlkjh now reading the credits: Pleased that they cast a Bengali actress as a Real Eleanor (who said she was from Bangladesh—even though they were accurate for Manny Jacinto’s ethnicity I wasn’t really sure if they would be regionally specific, like as far as I know William Jackson Harper doesn’t specifically identify as Senegalese

Also: Kills me that Bambadjan’s real name is Bambadjan, which implies both that his name is better than whatever name they had in the script, and that he is playing himself

“Eleanor - Bad Place,” would actually be one letter less than “Eleanor, Find Chidi,” but I understand that the message is less about identifying the lie and more about finding morality and her friends

We are finally progressing into the parts of the show I don’t know/remember 

“I won’t let you down.” “I think you will. I think this entire project of yours is stupid and doomed to fail. I think you’re going to be retired, eliminated from existence, and burned on the surface of a billion suns. And I have no doubt that you and your cockamamie experiment will go down in history as colossal failures.” “You know I think that—” “Toodeloo.” My high school guidance counselor to me when I said I wanted to go to school out of province lmao

“I can’t wait to have breakfast with Kant, and lunch with Michel Foucault, and then have dinner with Kant with Kant again so we can talk about what came up at breakfast.” “I’m sorry Chidi, all the great philosophers in history ended up in the Bad Place.” I believe this

I thought for a second Pedro, Angelique and Pevita were ALL Chidi’s potential soulmates and got excited, but straight people strike again lmao:

I have been wondering for a while whether or not sexuality plays into soulmates though. Does anyone have platonic soulmates in the afterlife lmao

“But good, would I go as far as to say to say you look good? Doubtful.” Chidi trying to be the appropriate amount of nice turns into negging lmao

Rhkjhgjhgg Eleanor immediately recognizing the slightly more whack energy this time around

“Charmed, I’m short.” Fghgkhgkgh the immediate fixation on her soulmate’s height and appearance in a way she didn’t do so meanspiritedly for any of the gang. Tahani said all of my friends are hot and Eleanor’s the only one allowed to be short

Tahani said: If Eleanor’s busy, I’ll step up to the plate to represent the Girlies Who Are Seconds Away From Losing It at All Times:

“Some of the [soulmate] pairings are platonic, some are romantic.” I guess that answers that question

Honestly didn’t think about it until now but it’s impressive that Jason can wear a Buddhist’s monks’ clothes the exact correct way based only on a single observation. He shows his intelligence in his way!!

“I am a Ferrari, and you don’t keep a Ferrari in the garage.” Vicky aka Real Eleanor knows her worth

The parallel storylines revealing what each character has been doing are very fun

Genuinely impressed by how much prop paper Kristen Bell just ate

“I’m too young to die, and too old to eat off the kids menu! What a stupid age I am.” Me too, Jason:

I also think having to go to a jazz show would tip me off that I’m in hell

“This is your soulmate, Tahani.” I know you can have a platonic soulmate now but I believe in my heart that this one wasn’t 

“Can you just chill out? Is that possible, Janet? Can you just chill out a little?” “Nope, it’s gonna be the same every time.” Me talking to my mother LMAO

“We are on strike until our demands are met.” #PayYourWriters

It’s impressive how many times Michael has managed to lose most of the only four people his entire neighbourhood is designed for

Chidi not hesitating for a second to tell Eleanor he loves her back:

“How many times have Chidi and I slept together?” “Eight different days, but like 20 different sessions.” GOOD FOR THEM LMAO

“I want to team up with you guys.” Michael said: Let me in the gang 💗

I am also genuinely endeared by Michael. His definition of torture is honestly so polite. Jazz and froyo LMAO 

“I’m sorry, has it been 100 hours?” Hahahaha I love how Tahani is genuinely intimidated by Eleanor’s confident dismissal 

Ethics question: If Tahani’s lack of care of other people is the reason she ended up in the Bad Place, do they also take into account the emotional abuse by her whole family and the way other people insistently dismissed her for Kamilah as part of that motive? Does enduring that so many times without complaint not tip the scales in her favour at all?

“And since you’re the only actual humans here, I’m on board for whatever fun little schemes you guys come up with.” Janet’s ride-or-die protocol is still engaged at heart

“Make all your memos one page, max, with pictures.” Vicky would’ve fit right in for the [Redacted] presidency

“These Millennials, they have no work ethic. Oh, sorry, a Millennial is someone who’s only been torturing people for a thousand years.”

This really is a good summary of what it’s like to take a philosophy class:

“Man, repressing your feelings is great.” Michael’s midlife crisis is very human man, down the to convertible and the much younger woman

Gdhkhdkjdh Tahani 🤝 Michael

Having very benign visions of what being tortured is like, as with someone throwing a better party than you

This is the line I quote most from this show out of everything:

[Gasps] “A family pack?” Me 🤝 Eleanor

Unprocessed spicy memories bubbling up in the middle of a mundane task in a communal space 

“You’re cool, dope, fresh and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good. Because... you’re good at everything. You’re awesome. Be nicer to yourself.” Tahani 🤝 Jason 🤝 Jason

Falling in love anyone who is nice to you for more than a few minutes

“What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard?” I want to read the songs that Chidi wrote LOL

“My name is Kierkegaard, and my writing is impeccable. Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical.” THANK YOU CHIDI FOR IMMMEDIATELY DELIVERING

You can tell this was filmed in 2017 because it is PEAK Hamilton era

“Plus they’re all French, so they’re going to the bad place automatically.” HGGHKGHGHKGH. Oh the French

“You’ve never dated anyone like Jason before.” Not Tahani getting love advice from Jason’s ex-wife

Take a shot everytime someone in this show says, “This is why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.”

Michael said: Chidi please adapt to my practical learning style

“But I tell her she’s pretty a hundred times a day, and she’s never said I’m pretty once.” Illegal. Tahani should be court-ordered to tell Jason he’s pretty

I believe in my whole heart that Janet lost a thumb because even as their couple’s therapist, she is still in love with Jason

“I’m your hottest friend. No, Tahani. I’m your nicest fr— no, Jason. I’m your friend!” LMAO at least Eleanor is self-aware

Fkfkjfhfjfh I guess technically Michael was doing his job by torturing Chidi

Also imagine the psychological trauma Chidi absorbs from having to decide to kill people so many times in the trolley problem. A reboot button would be helpful for him now 

“Aw, I’m happy for you guys.” [retches and vomits out a frog] JANETJASON ENDGAME

Michael’s little evil laugh also gets me every time. I love Ted Danson

“I call them ‘opposite tortures.’” “Do you mean, ‘presents?’” Hahahaha

Chidi’s a better or more morally stagnant inflexible than I am because I do think making people happy is a good thing even if the gifts are bribes in pursuit of forgiveness 

The way Janet malfunctions every time she supports Jason and Tahani. SHE’S IN LOOOOOVE

“Glitches may be a sign that your Janet is processing or disseminating information that is incompatible with objective truth.” Because she’s lying about her feeeelings

VINDICATIONNNNNNNNNNNN:

[Chanting] “Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me.” Janet is perfect and also Jason was right she is Michael’s family LMAO

“The reason is friends!! You’re my friend, Janet, that’s why I can’t kill you.” MICHAEL SAID I AM A DEMON WHO CAN GROW

“This is my new rebound boyfriend Derek. I made him!” OH MY GOD

I guess Tahani and Jason have one thing in common aside from being hot: Their irreverant disregard for everything outside of themselves hahahaha

The cut between Tahani and Jason having a picnic and deciding to get married vs. Chidi, Eleanor and Michael having an ethical dilemma about whether to break them up the greater good of society (themselves)

“That [teacher-student relationship] used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School, but this time you won’t be arrested.” 1) Someone please help the people at this high school and 2) We know that these are not the vows Jason is meant to have. Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me lives in my heart forever

Fjfkhfhfkj Poor Janet, she’s been through more human emotions in the past couple of weeks than in any iteration of herself before:

Eleanor ready to take the opportunity to forget she’s in love with Chidi jghkghg

“This isn’t about your wind-chime penis, in fact it’s not about you at all.” Underrated line from Janet LMAO

[Concerned] “Can you get pregnant from reabsorbing?” I would like to believe this is a lingering hint of jealousy from Jason

FKSJHSKJHS THE FACT EVERYONE LISTENS WHEN ELEANOR TELLS THEM NOT TO LOOK

This episode is emotionally a bummer for all involved couples 

“You really did just come here to chat. To shoot the shirt with your ole pal Eleanor.” “I guess so, why?” “It’s just a very human-y thing to do.” Michael and Eleanor are perhaps my favourite friendship

Eleanor said I’ve only had Michael as a friend for two weeks but if anything happened to him I’d stake the eternal souls of everyone in this room and then myself:

“What the here, dude?” Hahahahaha also a good line

“The other worst moment of Tahani’s life? Every other moment of her empty, pointless life.” This is like that scene in She-ra where they’re like ‘this feels way more personal compared to fire’ 

However, I do appreciate the dropping of hints that Michael is laying out: “Derek” Bortles - last song of a party -  the train/trolley

Janet’s version of magnet intoxication wanting to braid people’s hair is Peak Drunk Not-A-Girl in the Bathroom of a Nightclub Energy

[Sobbing] “You’re my friends and I wanted to save you.” I love one (1) Demon Buddy

Honestly props to Eleanor for figuring out Michael meant for them to stay because I personally would’ve interpreted the mention of Mindy St. Clair as enough reason to go 

“Here’s a willing sex robot and two duffel bags full of cocaine.” Mindy’s Medium Place is going to tip the scales in favour of the positive for her I guess lmao

“Maybe I should’ve realized this wasn’t the good place because of all the diarrhea.” “Maybe you shouldn’t be eating frozen yogurt right now.” Jason providing our Asian Lactose Intolerance Representation 😌💕

It actually does make sense that Eleanor loves Chidi when Chidi does not return those feelings because aside from the fact she has had that knowledge several weeks longer than Chidi, she is also a person who has consistently trusted her gut, and her gut tells her that she loves him, whereas Chidi needs time to think it out

“Once, you handed him a tissue right before he sneezed nd that simple act of anticipating his needs made him fall for you.” 1) Cute and 2) This isssss a love language

Ghkhgghkghg Michael coming into this with no plan and hoping to discover one along the way. Relatable demon 

The height difference with Tahani and everyone else is really apparent in this shot:

Chidi and Jason in particular doing the same dance move is so endearing. They all have something in common!! 

“All every wanted to was to know what it was like to be human. And now we’re going to do the most human thing of all. Attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly.”

Michael 🤝 Greed from FMA

Being primarily motivated by their love of their homies and general inclination towards more human emotion than any of their counterparts

“As long as I’m with you guys, I’m always in the Fake Good Place.” I want to give Michael a little kiss on the forehead

 “I just made an aphorism.” I just learned a new word

“Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail, boom, right away, I had a different problem.” Jason does think outside the box

Tahani’s American accent is actually very good lmao 

“Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re going to follow them.” I understand here Chidi means ‘principles’ to mean ‘fundamental truths’ and not ‘moral decisions’ but when it comes to an ethical principle, a person is always going to decide to follow it or not. That is the nature of being autonomous 

Unrelated to anything that’s going on in the Bad Place, the costume change really highlights that Manny Jacinto is so incredibly handsome, look at him, he’s like a painting:

Fully did not realize that Dax Shepard makes a guest appearance in the Bad Place. However. I believe it 

“Hang out with Johnny Depp enough, you become pretty good at lying.” This feels like a prophecy of some sort

“But then I remembered: I’m a naughty bitch.” The dialogue in this show has really transformed since they started being allowed to swear

“A moral particularist, like me—I’m one now, I just decided—would say there’s no absolute rule. You have to choose your actions based on the particular situation.” Turns out I am also somewhat of a moral particularist, Eleanor 

Honestly shocked and perplexed that it’s taken THIS long for anyone to catch Michael in a lie

Say what you will about Jason, he’s very good at molotov cocktails and knowing his own heart

“Goodbye Eleanor.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. He is the best demon buddy they could ever ask for:

I don’t know who I envisioned as the All-Knowing Judge of All Realms but I do feel like Maya Rudolph is a strong choice

“In the words of one of my actual friends: Ya basic.” I love Michael absorbing Eleanor’s vocabulary

Tahani’s soft gasp and “Oh no,” at what the spa employees and bikini waxers think of her kjgkhgjhg. Fair and relatable but you’d think it’d be the butlers and waiters, considering it’s a morality test

The gang wanting to all stay together in their failure or success 🥺 I love them

You know, I think Tahani letting go of what her parents think of her IS success, even if it’s not technically the exercise

GO JANETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Eleanor choosing not to reveal that she is the only one who has gotten past her fatal flaw (selfishness, as opposed to Chidi, Jason and Tahani failing to get past their indecisiveness, impulsivity and care of how others think of her) is also her being selfless 

“Hey guys! How ya been?” THE GANG’S ALL BACK TOGETHER:

“If I’m right, the system by which we judge humans, the very method we use to deem them good or bad, is so fundamentally flawed that hundreds of millions of people have been wrongly condemned to an eternity of torture.” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING, MICHAEL

“Whatever progress I have made, it’s because you and I have become friends.” I love Tahani and Eleanor’s friendship, they’re so sweet

“Jason, I love you.” “Oh, word?” “Word.” JASONJANET ENDGAME 💘

“I think I love you too girl.” YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JASON!!! HE DOESN’T KNOW MUCH, BUT HE KNOWS HIS HEART

DOUBLE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, GO CHIDI, HE KNOWS HIS HEART TOO:

They all love each other so much they don’t want to be in separate Medium Places 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEY ARE THE CUTEST FRIEND GROUP

Hahaha, I notice that her roommates call her Elea-NOR instead of Elea-NER like her friends do which feels like something intentional 

“Do you want to come to Lauren’s baby shower?” “Do you want to chew on my ASS-ortment of brownies that I will be bringing to Lauren’s baby shower?” [Eleanor Shellstrop voice] Pobody’s nerfect

“That took a lot of courage for you to admit that, and I admire your honesty. You stupid skank! How could you do that to me? I hate you!” Newly Not Dead Eleanor is about to learn about moral particularism 

“I still think he’s kind of hot.” “I guess, in like a sick Victorian boy kind of way.” “Oooh, yeah yeah yeah, I want to like, feed him soup.” Brittany is fun. Also I know they said Benedict Cumberbatch but this is exactly how people talk about Timothy Chalamet

Michael loves his friends so much he cannot help but nudge them along through Moral Interventions at the Sports Bar:

“I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people, and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put: We are not in this alone.” I LOVE this brand of moral philosophy

Also this last nudge to bringing them back together is a really great way to end this season. This show is SO GOOD 

#ayesha says things #liveblogging #ayesha liveblogs tgp #the good place #television #long post #the good place spoilers #i mean it's been years but this does spoil the first two seasons LOL #my surgery recovery time is also my time to finish liveblogs i started literal years ago. this one precisely three years and three weeks ago

[two-red-lungs]

Could you write reader finding out food tlb liked from when they were human/their childhood and making it for them as a gift?

I know you wanted a fic but I have so so many thoughts about each of the boys that I'm gonna collect them all in this post!

The Lost Boys: Their Favorite Old-World Foods

Marko:

The little Italian stallion <3333

I HC him as growing up in inner Florence, Italy, during the artistic revolution. He was fairly elite/in high demand as a model

Basically, a brat with an ego

Still despite rubbing shoulders with the greats, he loved to come home to his family’s little city house and eat his mamma’s cooking

I think Marko’s favorite ‘old world’ dish is Garmugia: a simple springtime soup with cured pancetta, lima beans, scallions, and all sorts of other green veggies

It’s not fancy or especially delicious at all. But I think the smell, the taste, would make him freeze up, flooded with memories

and maybe for a second he’d stop being a feral, combative, snapping undead animal, and you’d catch a glimpse of the athletic young human from centuries ago

Dwayne: 

My personal HC for Dwayne is he got put in a residential school for native Americans at a young age, basically ripped away from his family

He probably escaped, hightailing it out at around 16, and then survived alone on the streets of early 1800s colonizer cities with the rest of the dredges of society 

(Which to me gives him a very strong “I fucking hate capitalism I truly hate this country and deep down I do genuinely want to see this broken system burnt to the ground, also FUCK cops” mentality)

I think Dwayne’s most memorable old-world food would be Gingerbread. Not the gingerbread we know: a soft, cake-like bread flavored with molasses, ground ginger, and cinnamon. Very dark and not very sweet

He worked odd (and illegal) jobs to stay alive and when winter rolled around street vendors would sell big hot slices of the stuff

Bringing him some real, legit circa-1810-gingerbread would probably make him remember the far-distant, little moments of actual joy he had in his human life

AND you’d probably be able to convince him to actually talk about his past for once

Paul:

Country boyyyy, I love youuuu

In my mind Paul is rural midwest, late 1800s when the industrial revolution was really kickin’ off and the cities were poppin (with drugs and alcohol lmao)

He was probably raised on a farm & did farmwork most of the time. Picture him in a low ponytail and work duds, pitching hay. That was probably for the best because that dude 100% has dyslexia and a math learning disability

But oooooh he was prettyyyyy and he knew it: I think Paul eventually ran away from his family’s farm and basically became a partyboy in a big city, like New York, and was changed there

I think Paul’s favorite old-world food is (brace for the cliche) Apple Pie!

Probably a rare treat his momma and sisters would cook up in the autumn and winter: smelling a good, home-style pie now makes him think of barefoot evening sitting on the farmyard porch, listening to cicadas

Unrelated, but I think Paul- that’s right, partyboy druggie bonerboy Paulie- still remembers how to tie a hog

David:

I have conflicting thoughts abt this motherfucker

His backstory HC for me is still a little elusive, but I have some basic details for him

He comes from a pretty fucked-up biological family (probably a crazy-abusive dad and absent mother), was 100% drafted in a war at some point (I suspect the civil war), and 100% deserted his station in that war. Out of cowardice, fear, or distain, I don’t know. 

I don’t think David really has a favorite food?? He’ll eat plain rice. Plain, oily noodles. Hard-tack biscuits. Literally anything like whatever it’s not his personal thing

David like drinking and smoking. I think David’s favorite old-world vice is Irish Whiskey. Again, not the drink we think of. A lot less refined, very rough and coarse: it was the most popular and easily-accessible spirit in the 1860s 

I think it reminds him of ‘simpler times’: just him, alone, human, in a dingy old bar, getting the cheapest drink he can get, ducking his head to avoid being seen by military officials and wondering where he can run away to next

Give him a straight shot of Irish whiskey in an old-style enameled bar glass and it’s one of the only times he won’t be full-on Mansplain Manipulate Manwh0re: he’ll probably sit on a beachside bench with you, drinking in silence, watching the waves crashing far away. Lost in thought. Looking as old as he really is.

#the lost boys #The Lost Boys 1987 #my writing #ask box

[checkoutmybookshelf]

When the Russian Mafia Learned Not to Mess With Artemis Fowl II

I've been an Artemis Fowl girl (not the movie) for a long time, and while I think the first book in the series is literally a perfect first book, it's not my favorite in the series. That honor goes to book two, Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident. And I think that the key points that really make this my favorite book are the shift from brilliantly executed archetypes to genuine characters, the fact that a 12-year-old absolutely OWNS the mafia, and the expansion of the worldbuilding in Haven and the Lower Elements generally. Oh also, this is where we get Opal Koboi for the first time. *Screes in best villainess ever* Let's Talk Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident.

There will be light spoilers below the break, as is pretty standard for all books second and later on this blog, so be warned.

First of all, in the first Artemis Fowl book, the characters are--with the exception of Artemis and Holly--largely archetypal. That falls apart here, because the story isn't trying to be a fairy tale or a heist so much as it is Opal Koboi and Briar Cudegon trying to start a war that Artemis has to stop in order to get fairy help to rescue his father from captivity by the Russian Mafia. Book 1 Butler is your standard bodyguard with a heart of gold, Commander Root is a standard grouchy police chief, and Trouble Kelp is basically ye olde marine. Briar Cudgeon is power hungry, and that's about it.

By book 2, Bulter is getting more personality and a low-key understanding with Holly and Root because they're all "old soldiers" in his book. Root gets to actually have some personality and is a damn good field commander--can we just take a sec to appreciate how much he cares (gruffness notwithstanding) about Holly and the fact that he super did not care that the sealed acorn was blasphemy because it worked!? He becomes more than just a hardass vaguely sexist archetype, and I have SUCH a soft spot for Julius Root. We also get some more of Trouble and Grub Kelp. Briar Cudgeon stays pretty simple, but that's fine because we have Opal goddamn Koboi for a more complex and also very classical villainess--she is LOVING being evil and frankly she is never not a joy to watch. Opal knows how to lean in to sheer joyous villainy.

I'm also just a fan of Artemis actually running into the real world with his planning. Our boy can absolutely sketch out an on-paper plan that is brilliant, but then you get things like gaps in train tracks, fairy politics, dwarf reflexology, and humans reacting in weirdass ways and suddenly Artemis has to get his hands a bit dirty and he has to improvise. Our boy grows and STILL hands the Russian Mafia its collective ass on a radioactive submarine hatch. Artemis Fowl's character growth in this book is great.

Book 1 was very limited to Fowl Manor and its grounds. We got a bit of Haven and the Lower Elements in book 1, but book 2 is mostly in the Lower Elements and Russia, and the expansion of what Haven is like, what shuttleports are like, what Koboi Labs is like, what Howler's Peak is like, is incredible. We get more fairy lore, fairy life, and more LEP. This keeps expanding in later books, but this is our first really close look at the world beyond what was strictly necessary for the kidnapping and rescue plot of the first book, and that's very fun.

I know I've already mentioned Opal Koboi and her gleefully unhinged joy at her seemingly imminent rise to Empress, but honestly I love her to little tiny peices. She is too samrt for her own good, she girlbossed her own father into literally insanity, and her college-era feud with Foaly is just peak "the smartest kids in class have extremely different skillsets and they hate each other for it". Opal starts off very evil kitten, but kitty has claws and she's just waiting for a chance to unsheath them.

The Artemis Fowl series is improbably good, and I cannot recommend it enough. Especially this fozen, slightly radioactive entry in the series that is very much my favorite book.

#eoin colfer #artemis fowl #artemis fowl the arctic incident #holly short #ya fiction #ya sci fi #book recommendations #books and novels #books and reading #books & libraries #opal koboi #the arctic incident #julius root #domovoi butler

[bots-and-cons]

May I request Arcee, Optimus, and Ratchet's reactiom on their human charge who is capable of creating ice and controlling the surrounding temperature by singing folksongs? (Bonus angst, after repelling cons with the ice, the bots found them suffering from extreme hypothermia and freezes the ground they lay on)

I did HCs, since it seemed like a better fit, and I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with anything for Ratchet

~Arcee~

•Arcee thinks it’s pretty damn amazing and your ability has been useful in many situations

•Also you have a great singing voice and it’s a joy to hear you sing

•She’s of course worried for the effect it has on you, if you overuse your ability

•You were helping keep the cons at bay, when you went a bit too far

•The cons backed off but you were severely hypothermic by the time Arcee got to you

•Arcee got you back to the base and wrapped you so many blankets she lost count

•She was super worried and when you woke up you got a lecture about how you’re not supposed to fight the cons and you’re just supposed to get away from them

•You of course counter with “But you were in danger” and Arcee is like “I don’t care, your safety comes first”

•It turns into a bit of a debate, but it ends with “how about we just watch each other's backs?”

•You both agree to do that, but Arcee is still very adamant about making sure you don’t get hypothermia again

~Optimus Prime~

•Optimus appreciates you saving his aft from the cons, but he feels you should take care of yourself first

•You know your limits, most of the times at least, so you don’t go and accidentally freeze yourself, but you’d rather not let Optimus die if you have the option to help him

•So you get mild hypothermia while repelling the cons, it’s pretty cold around you, but you’re not on the point you’re freezing things involuntarily

•You’re getting pretty tired though so Optimus picks you up and takes you to the base

•He helps you to the couch and piles a couple of blankets on top of you

•Optimus doesn’t really lecture you, he more like just gently reminds you that you also need to take care of yourself

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #optimus prime #arcee #tfp headcanons #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

[gojonanami]

Sab,

You really shouldn't doubt yourself. You're a compelling writer. Your stories are captivating. I am absolutely in love with the latest fic you posted—the way you portrayed Prof. Geto is magnificent. I could go on at length about how and why exactly I loved the way you portrayed him. It is a truly brilliant work and I genuinely really, really enjoyed it. I mean it. I swear.

And about the ethics being accurate? I don't know about you and perhaps I am wrong, but to me, ethics, really is the most accessible of all humanities. My Director of Studies often cites this example of his past professor who used to reiterate that studying philosophy (and ethics—my addition) is about 'doing', which, in my opinion, just makes it so much more accessible because we're 'doing' all the time. And so, in my opinion, anyone and everyone can be and is an ethicist in their own way.

And so I loved the fact that you chose to incorporate ethics into this piece. I loved the way you approached Tim Scanlon! It was so, so much fun for me to read this! I truly really enjoyed this and reading this fic really made me beam. I think you incorporated Scanlon and 'What We Owe to Each Other' brilliantly. (I actually watched 'The Good Place', too, but a long while ago, and honestly, as I was reading this, I didn't really think of the Good Place at all. I think your fic and 'The Good Place' have two main similarities—making ethics as a subject more accessible to those who are perhaps not so-called 'specialists' or students of the subject. Other than that, your tackling of it is your own and I think it is great.)

I also have to tap-on to this message a note regarding the way you write dialogue! I love it. I love the way you write dialogue. You are incredibly witty, clever and funny. It is truly a joy to read.

Your work really made me smile and it made my day. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Thank you, thank you and thank you.

i am being so repetitive in my responses to you guys, but literally thank you so much!!! it literally means so much to me that you enjoy my writing. every artist in any medium have doubts. my friends have had to listen to me drone on and on about my doubts and wondering if i'm even capable of writing a half decent sentence lol. so words like this mean so much to me because i can look back at them and remind myself that i can write a pretty half decent work haha (this is playful, i'm not trying to be self-deprecating lol).

that's very, very true regarding ethics. i never thought about it that way, but you're so right. i feel like for a lot of people, including me, ethics / philosophy is like this huge monolith that's really daunting. but you're right, we deal with ethics in every day life all the time.

i'm so glad you enjoyed my incorporation of tim scanlon!! i definitely tried to make it my own - luckily my rewatch of the good place didn't really include season one lol, so i skipped the episode where chidi discusses tim scanlon.

you're so sweet!! i'm so glad my dialogue comes across well for you. it means so much to me because i love writing dialogue. if i had to choose a part of writing that comes easier to me, it's definitely dialogue. and its probably also because i enjoy it so much :).

thank you so much for reading and sending this very, very lovely note my way. you guys all have made my day over and over. thank you!!! love you <3

#sab [asks] #sab [anons] #sab series [prof suguru] #sab [praise]

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - The Floodgates Have Opened

Oct 2022 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Eclipse (Fri YT) 9 of 12 - Aye is such an intense and focused little thing. The eye contact with these 2 is beyond eye fucking into something more like eye soul-mating. The pool kiss was fine, but they looked cold. GMMTV loves a pool kiss. 

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 9 of 14 - this show makes me cry. Fee is a wonderful friend. This was a good episode, it was fun to see Eiw come into his own. I look forward to the reunion next week.

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 2 of 10 - I figured it out, this is Make it Right the uni years! That’s why I like it. Nhai Is apparently flirtier and gayer when drunk. I’ve known some British lads like that. OK so sex happened. I like that there was some kind of confused drunken consent. But also serious regrets and bisexual identity crisis. Poor Nhai: You can’t have your friend and eat him too. This plot is moving quickly: it’s ep 2 and they have slept together and confessed, plus a one month trial relationship. I like it. This is messy gay in a way I appreciate. 

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube & Gaga) 1 of 8 - I'm enjoying the lead pair, the meet cute, and the combative nature of their relationship. I’m not wild about the premise but I like how different it is from all the previous “my ghost boyfriend” takes on this concept. More “our human pet.” I’m beginning to be weirdly charmed by how bureaucratic the Thai afterlife always seems to be. 

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 1 of 8 - Basically we have player love-rivals (a girl)/enemies to lovers + a rich/poor pairing: Yai & Mangkorn. It had a good hook but most of the ep was dull; thankfully Gaga has a 1.5x speed. The acting is bad but the sex scene was fine: dominance struggles, lots of switching, and verse stuff. *we likie* This show is using drugging (impaired judgement/dub-con/both men), sexual extortion, and blackmail as a plot device not unlike LITA. But it’s using antiheroes and presenting everything, including the characters, in a negative light. Thus right now in BL we have a great example of how the same plot device can be depicted differently and result in an entirely different perspective and watcher experience. In other words: a narrative I’m hating in LITA doesn’t bother me here, because of characterization.  

Work from Heart (Thurs YouTube) 3 of 7 - The agro yet deeply in-crush behavior of our tsundere seme is kinda fun, but the fashion remains truly terrible and the most unpleasant performer in this show. Although it’s got competition. 

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 8 of 13 - the premise and blackmail set up for this couple really fucked with me (because Sky is a broken angel-baby and Pai is an irredeemable pustule). I am not happy about it: DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH ALONG HERE. That said, there is a GREAT analysis of Sky’s character here (that I totally enjoy and want to be true, but I think gives Mame too much credit). 

Fahlanruk (Sun GaGa) 4 of 12 - So Fah’s bf cheated first? Okay, still doesn’t justify his behavior. Honestly, I really can’t stand this show. Now we are playing a game of how long can I go before dropping it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun (Japan Thurs GaGa & Viki) 7 of 8 - these two pretty much define awkward. Takara because he is trying desperately to keep his cool reserve (and perform perfect seme) while simultaneously being so in love/lust with Amagi in high school where desire is, by definition and practice, uncool. Amagi is all frenetic movements and angles, like he cannot control his limbs or his emotions, everything is deeply confusing to him including Takara’s affection. Watching them stumble around each other and agonize over every little movement and conversation is an exercise in joy, patience, and agony. It’s all so “teenager” I can hardly stand it. This episode, however, was more about Tanaka coping with learning his friend is 1. not straight and 2. deeply in love with an adorable weirdo. It was a quieter ep than I expected but sweet. “He said something cute and I couldn’t help myself“ is so traditional Japanese seme in one sentence I can’t even.

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 1 of 10 - basically this is A Man Who Defies the World of BL + Senpai This Can’t be Love (as @heretherebedork said). Nakao Masaki playing a sunshine bouncy himbo character is a fucking revelation, I didn’t think he had it in him. But our tsundere uke is far too tsundere for me, and despite the premise (AN IDOL LOVE INTEREST!) I do not not really like it. I just hate the stalker photograph obsession thing (My Engineer, SCOY, STCBL, now this) and I can’t support a character that starts out this way, it’s apparently a trigger I didn’t know I had until BL tried to romanticize it. I love Nakao Masaki (in a non stalker, no photos kind of way) so I might muscle through but... 

Once Again (Korea Fri GaGa) 7-8fin - Cute date plus hand holding and a mild but sweet moot kiss does not a satisfying ending make. They are great boyfriends even if only for a few days. As expected, like Kissable Lips, this one ends sad. Can’t stop the Koreans when a temporal paradox and death is on the line. They do love their tragedy, not to mention unavoidable fate. 2/10 NOT RECOMMENDED

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y - 20 eps A spy have reported in on a spoiler assessment of the first 2 installments here. 2 more to go. 

Oh My Sunshine Night 16 eps - I’m scared it’s gonna be sad, so I’m waiting for spies to tell me it’s safe, so far reported to be quite the soap opera. 

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 10 eps - dito OMSN, so I’m holding until it finishes its run. 

My Roommate - 32 eps of 2 minutes each? Terrible production values, worse than the pulps. I not bothering. 

In Case You Missed It

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us had a sad end, or at least, not a happy one, so I will not be watching it. I’m happy to leave it permanently listed dnf. 2022 will be the year I dnf’d the most BL, partly because there’s so much of it. (Thailand is at 108 BLs and counting this year). 

I talk a lot on this blog about linguistics (language intersecting with culture) here’s a fun podcast from Hidden Brain on How language shapes our perspective on life. 

Gossip

HIStory 5 is coming! Called HIStory5: Love in the Future. Since it’s going to be the only one under the 5 moniker I’ll probably default (like it did with H4) to just calling it H5. 

That omegaverse Thai BL got cancelled. Probably because of the fuss being kicked up about it. I am sad. No trash watch for me. Maybe Japan will still do one at some point. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting: Remember Me starts tomorrow, Thai (Sun Gaga)1 of 8. 2 Moons 3 Thai (Mon ??) 1 of 10. Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Thurs Viki) 1 of 8. SELF Thai (Thurs ??). My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga & Viki) 1 of 12. Hard Love Mission Thai (Sat WeTV & iQiyi?). Wish Me Luck Thai (Sat ??). 

I’m traveling so I may not be able to watch the ones I already have in rotation, let alone track down the new babies. You on your own peeps, best of luck! 

Honestly Thailand, too many. You gotta stop now. We saturated. 

FULL October 2022 line up is here.

This week’s best moments?

The return of That Staircase in Eclipse! 

Tell us something we don’t know, Aye. 

Breaking news: Cute bit is very cute. 

Work from Heart: I just love the sniff test trope (AKA I like the way he smells) one of my favs. 

Although neck kisses are good too, thanks Ai Long Nhai. 

Activating seme agressive tendencies. 

Bisexual rep, yes please! 

And a direct address of drunk one night stand regrets. You’re doing well little pulp. 

Such boyfriends. 

The most seme line in a BL ever. 

(last week)

Current earworm? The Rose’s Sour 

#this week in BL #BL news #BL gossip #upcoming BL #new BL #BL reviews #best BL #worst BL #live action yaoi #Thai BL #Korean BL #Taiwanese BL #Japanese BL #Rakutan Viki #GagaOOLala #GMMTV #The Eclipse #Ai Long Nhai #My Only 12% #Ghost Host Ghost House #Big Dragon Work from Heart #Love in the Air #Fahlanruk #Takara-kun and Amagi-kun #Kabe Koji #HIStory5: Love in the Future #2 Moons 3 #Roommates of Poongduck 304 #My Tooth Your Love #Hard Love Mission

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

The Great North (All the Things She Said, Part 2.)

Description: After a rather unlucky coincidence, Lord Asriel is left alone on his supposed expedition to meet the king of Lapland. Thanks to Thorold's advances, he's lucky enough to get an assistant sent over from the University of Oxford.

Part Summary: Whatever you imagined North to be like, its actual appearance didn't match your expectations and wasn't as thrilling. On the other hand, it was thrilling to see the first armoured bear in your life - except he hadn't had his armour and started drinking heavily.

Word Counter: 5.3 K

A/N: To be frank, I'd like to tie the story into the concept of the cannon while not specifically writing anything that would change it - so, Iorek already rampaged Trollesund and killed his predecessor and by that logic, he's already bending the steel for people of Trollesund. The witches also are connected to Lanselius at this point. So, why not mention it, huh?

By the way, I was then questioning myself as far as the logic goes and while it's not technically a rightful expedition I think there still would need to be official documents and results written down.

Tagging: @emmyspov

Series master list:  h e r e   | Series playlist:  h e r e

As you walked through the city of Trollesund, watching people being busy, fully captivated by their work and duties, your head was pretty much fully emptied out. The travel itself wasn't bad - the college paid you a ticket for a zeppelin and a first-class ticket to a ship setting out of Northern Brytain. By that point, you've been on the road for a week and each of them, you've captured in your journal. For each of your expeditions, there was a journal; this one was thicker than the rest of your journals and also vestured in a leather cover. As soon as you landed in Svalbard, the omnipresent cold hit your face, crawling deep into your bone marrow. And you had to add that you were wearing a proper coat, a warm hat, and boots padded with the finest, warmest fur. None of that helped. And you haven't even set out to venture to Asriel's observatory which was located at least two days' worth of travel from Trollesund... Without counting the time you'd use for resting.

"I already hate it here, " Joy mumbled, obediently running next to your foot. She was very curious about the town since it differed from everything you had experienced in Brytain. Everything in this town looked so dishevelled, old, and worn out, showing obvious signs of usage; all of the oil and dirt had its magic, you needed to admit. The people of Trollesund might've not been the richest, but everything they made was sturdy and steady.

"You're such a grouch, come on. We're on an adventure." "We're far from home and everything is so wild and cold here. How can you be so optimistic, Y/N?" "Because we, my dear, will see all of the northern fauna in its natural habitat. There are so few studies originating in taking interest in this rare ecosystem and the bio-cultural symbiosis between animals, armoured bears, and humans. We're gonna make the top ten for sure!" - You answered with a broad smile, trying to remind yourself of all of the great prospects that were ahead of you, waiting for you to explore them. The... Another part of the negotiations, the 'Golden boy part', was something you were trying to forget about for as long as you could. "May I remind you that I still am a coyote, Y/N, an animal that is supposed to live in warm American prairies and deserts? I'm not a snow fox, you know?" "And may I remind you that as long as I'm fed and warm, you're feeling that way too? What's gotten into you, Joy? Haven't seen you like this for a long time."

This time, the coyote looked up to you with its gentle golden eyes, her expression being overshadowed with worries and fear. Not hesitating, you dropped to your knee and looked your daemon deep into her eyes. What Joy needed to hear couldn't be said out loud. "Listen, Joy, Dr Carne has sworn on the law of scholastic sanctuary that this will forever remain a secret. And he never intended for anything but good to happen to us. This man wouldn’t cross us and he wouldn’t give out heads to the Magisterium for free. You have nothing to be scared of, we are safe and fine and we'll have an amazing adventure out here.”

“You’re really this calm about… Well, everything? This man is studying Dust, Y/N, he’s not conducting just some ordinary environmental expedition, you do realize that?” “I’m calm because I have faith in Carne and Asriel. Do you really assume that with the danger that this expedition holds, he’d just take the papers, travel all the way to London, and then wave them in front of the Cardinal’s face to flip him off? Think about the time we’ve been editing his article about Space and time… Remember how much he managed to reveal with this paper alone? His vocabulary and sentence structure, the way he's able to express his opinions or to explain the basics to a person who had never heard of such things... We both know he’s a genius.” “A genius with no sense of self-preservation or an ounce of reason in his mind. This is dangerously close to tiptoeing with insanity, Y/N, and you’ve taken part in this voluntarily.” - Before you could say anything else to Joy, both of you looked at a well-built man who had just approached you. He had a big smile, a fuzzy beard and warm, dark eyes. Since you had a raising suspicion that the man was at least somewhat nice, you smiled right back at him, standing up with the journal in your palm.

“Are you alright, lassie? Couldn’t miss the way you're standing in the middle of the street if I tried to.” “Ah, yes, thank you for asking. Joy, my daemon, is feeling a little bit unsettled because she can sense a huge animal wandering about.” - Even if the man hadn’t ever seen you, based on your blabbering alone he must’ve realized you’re coming up with everything on the spot. Not an ounce of truth in anything you’ve been saying. - “We’ve travelled here all the way from Oxford, you see? I’m an animal and environmental researcher and we’ve travelled here for our newest study, the bio-cultural system of Svalbard. Joy has been just rather unnerved by the presence of Panselbjørns on the island, just as I’ve been.”

“Oi, based on the way you’re talking alone I’m sure you’re a scholar, eh? And your daemon isn’t wrong if that's what you think, lassie. We have a bear living in this town." - The man explained rather proudly as he stepped closer to you, his deamon taking the form of a hound sitting beside him while staring at you with dark eyes. "A bear working for humans?" - The question was filled with genuine confusion on your part. You haven't seen an armoured bear in person before. Still, what you've gathered from all of the literature and official documents concerning negotiations with said bears, these sentient creatures were taking a strong liking in their pride. Proud as all bloody hell; so proud they'd rather die than humiliate themselves in such a way.

The Panselbjørne were majestic bears awaking respect within every living soul that had bumped into them, solitary sentient creatures that bowed to no man. They didn't answer to anyone but their king and even this bond was supposed to be quite loose. So how the hell did an armoured bear get into the city in the first place? "How did an armoured bear get in here? I suppose he hadn't just walked in asking about work applications, had he?" "Lassie it was a bloody massacre. The bear came here one day and started attacking the folk while destroying the city. It was horrible, young lady. After we took off his armour, he vouched to help the folk repair what he broke. He's not a bad bear, our Iorek." "Iorek Byrnison you mean?" - As you looked over to Joy, you'd swear that you had already read this name somewhere. It was a very old and very official document regarding the succession of the Svalbardian throne. Who had written it down and how precisely this document got into the college's possession was beyond you, but it was there. - "I've heard of him. Would it be possible to speak with him? For the... Research purposes, of course."

"It would be wiser not to interruprt him during the day, lassie. Then, it would be smart to ask the bear himself if he'd like to chat with you, I'm not the one to tell you. But if I were you, I'd try asking the folk working with him how much he'd drink. That might help you with talking to him." Drinking? A Panselbjørn drinking spirits? Again, Joy's eyes scanned the man in front of you. This situation seemed somewhat tricky, to begin with; a prideful creature working in a human town, drinking alcohol? No. That was not at all what Panselbjørne were supposed to be like. - "Thank you, sir, I'll ask around about Iorek around Trollesund."

"I thought you'll be staying about?" - The man wondered, raising one of his eyebrows while watching you as if something was wrong. "Never said that. I'll soon join a colleague of mine in his laboratory far up north. The innkeeper told me you can see the auroras clearer there than anywhere else in the whole world." - You answered, stepping away from the man to nonchalantly suggest that you'll be ending the conversation with him. Your sledge was about to prepare, that was one thing, and you wanted to look around for the Iorek you've been told about. "Aye, I know who you're talking about. We've seen the lad here once or twice, dressed very expansively with the behaviour of a butcher's dog. Haven't met someone with a more punchable face 'til then." "That sounds... Precisely like Lord Asriel. Let me apologise for his behaviour if he had been causing any trouble. It won't happen again. Well, I'll have to..."

"Careful for the witches, lassie. They have their contacts in here." - The man said instead of saying goodbye, turning right on his heels, leaving you in the middle of the road. After watching his back disappear in the distance, you've decided to sit down and start writing your first entry in the journal. The first one was making enough sense - Iorek (An armoured bear working for humans? Drinking Spirits? - Need to attempt to talk to Iorek for the sake of research... Fine, it's just curiosity.) - while your last one was simply - WITCHES??? HERE??? - with three lines highlighting the words.

Obviously, just like every other kid living in Brytain, you've been familiar with the entire concept of witches even though you haven't seen them with your own eyes. These women were supposedly enchantingly beautiful and free-spirited, who were enough to madden one's mind. Unlike the bears, they weren't in your research field and the stories about them were mere rumours rather than actual, historically reliable sources. So while you heard of the concept, you couldn't tell how much of said concept is based in reality. After finishing writing down your notes, you decided to pick yourself up and stroll through Trollesund - it wasn't for long, but you still had around thirty minutes to capture a glimpse of the mysterious Iorek.

As you made your way through the settlement, everything seemed to be in order; which, in translation meant that there were no bears in sight. That was until you came about a big, fenced property from where great slams of pure force could be heard; a huge gate made out of the thickest iron plates you’ve seen was held together by an overly-sized chain, locked together with a massive lock.

“Do you think Iorek is there?” - Joy muttered with curiosity, trying to catch a glimpse of anything under the gate, yet the small crack wasn’t enough for her to get a good look at the scenery. As you formed an answer, another of the forceful slams rang through the air, followed by a painful, horrifying roar which undeniably belonged to a bear. Blood started to freeze in your veins as you listened to the sound of unsaid rage and pain. - “I think he is. Let’s look around for an entrance, he might be hurt.”

As you asked Joy to run around the perimeter, you let the journal fall into your bag before circling around the other side of the property. The walls were made out of various steel plates, some of which were thicker than your thigh, and the spots that were only fenced by wires were blocked off properly. “Here! Here!” - Joy cried out as you saw her tail disappearing into an easily missable hole in the fencing - you could see a woman turning at you, obviously telling you not to go there just as you slipped in, holding your breath so you could squeeze through the tight space. As you pushed further in, you could feel your coat catching on various wires and small pieces of scrapped materials. The curious it’s got the better of you, didn’t it? Because just as you stumbled in, literally falling on your palms covered in leather gloves, you saw Joy cowering in fear; her golden eyes were open wide, he tail low between her back legs as she walked away from anything that was standing right in front of you. The presence of Iorek hit almost all of your senses at once.

First, there was the stench of his breath and the volume of it; the smell of spirits and meat the bear was feasting on after his shifts had ended wrapped around your nose, making you gag inaudibly. Then, there was the size of his enormous paws; one swing would knock you unconscious, and the second would either rip your head off or slice your throat open effortlessly. Only after that, you gathered enough courage to look at the bear hovering over your head - he was furrowing at you, his eyes watching you with anger as if you were the one holding him inside of the gates. His fangs were sticking out of his mouth as he hung it open, trying to figure out what to do, and his scarred muzzle crinkled in a confused expression. Iorek. As you prepared for your head to be chewed on, the bear simply snickered with anger and turned away from you. - “My workshop is forbidden to people and their daemons. Leave now, I do not require company and neither do I want it.”

Before he could make it halfway back to his shop, he began to grunt in displeasure; this time, it was nothing more than mere pain. By looking at the ground, you were quick to deduce what the origin of said pain could've been. There was a small, almost unnoticeable blood trail left behind the animal as it slowly moved forward. "You're injured." - Your tone was quiet and rather gentle in order not to upset or challenge the bear. You still had an awful lot of work to do and you needed to get to the observatory, quite frankly, alive. - "Humans are annoying and I know that, but I'm here to help. I won't pray, I promise Iorek." - Your knowledge of his name caught his attention; he turned his head right back at you and looked at you closer. You, in the meantime, walked over to a crate to sit down on, opening your bag; as you struggled to find any cloth, you simply took your coat off and pulled your cashmere sweatshirt down in order to have at least something to operate with.

"I haven't seen you around before... And yet, you know my name. Who are you?" - The bear asked you with suspicion, looking you up and down. - "It is in your best interest not to lie because bears won't fall for such deception." "Lucky me, I wasn't about to lie anyway." - With a smile, you put your coat back on and sat down, patting your knees. Iorek, even though you tried to be as calm and gentle as possible, was still on the edge over whether he could trust. - "Let me start with the basics, then - my name is Y/N and... It might come off as a surprise, but I'm a doctor of animal studies, operating at the University of Oxford in Brytain, Iorek. No malicious intent in sight so, please, stop being stubborn and let me help you. This bloody sweater cost me a whole fortune."

With a prolonged sigh, the bear sat down in front of you, putting his palm on your new, stylish warmers. You've maybe bought a whole new wardrobe just because you wanted to dress nicely in Asriel's presence; he might've been a private, strange person who had no self-preservation instinct, yes, but you wanted to match his style in this regard. You wanted to feel equal to him. "You differ from the people of Trollesund, miss Y/N, your heart seems to be filled with kindness. They are cruel and cold, holding me inside these gates without mercy, let me out when the sun sets behind the horizon. None of them would've helped me. I won't forget this gesture." "Why do you think that is? Why do you think they wouldn't help?" - While chit-chatting with the bear, you started to pull the bit of metal out of his paw. Iorek twitched a few times, closing his eyes in pain. As you watched it slip out, you grabbed one of the fabrics to cover it, searching for a small bottle of spirit in your bag. Also, Iorek's compliment about the kindness in your heart made you smile blatantly, but you assumed Iorek knew that he is the cause of the said smile. - "I don't have proper disinfection so this has to do. Desperate times, am I right? It will sting... A lot."

Normally, you weren't too big on drinking - but the innkeeper told you that it can save your life in the Northern wilderness. So you've bought a few mini-bottles to have on hand and right at that moment, it paid off. "I don't have to think about their reasoning..." - At this moment, he howled in great pain as you poured the spirit into the wound, covering it with another piece of fabric immediately. - "What you see around is my punishment for all the harm I've caused to the folk of Trollesund. The night it happened... I wasn't myself, Y/N, I was a beast torn from the chain. I couldn't compose myself no matter how much I tried. I've spilt blood, destroyed properties and brought night terrors."

"If I may, you don't strike me as this sort of... Of a bear. I don't know you, by all means, but you seem to be wise and astute. Just as I seem to be kind." "Back then, I've long forgotten who I once was. I've been exiled from my homeland and my friend, Lee Scoresby, wasn't nearby - I shouldn't have accepted the spirits the locals offered me to forget my wrongdoings because when I did... I have been deceived and stripped of my armour - which is the biggest shame that a Panserbjørn can imagine." "I know I've promised not to pray and I hope you won't understand my boldness as an attempt at deceiving you..." - You mumbled while patching the paw together, making sure the improvised bandage will be comfortable to walk around and work with. - "But what happened before you accepted the..." - The rest of your question couldn't be finished because of the metal gate opening loudly with folk pouring in, led by the man you'd met earlier.

"Las, this is not a place you should be at. It's dangerous." "No, it's not, trust me. This sentient, conscious animal needed help and as an animal researcher, it was my duty to assist. Iorek is not to be at fault." - With that, you stood up and patter the side of his enormous paw, letting him know that your job is done. - "I'll leave this workshop at once." - Looking away from the few newcomers, you turned your head to Iorek. - "When I'll come back to Trollesund for supplies, would you spare some time for me? Please?" "I will, Ms Y/N, doctor of the University of Oxford. It was an honour to meet you." "Pleasure was on my side, Iorek."

"You see, we could call for Sysselman to arrest you at once." - One of the ladies who were accompanying the gentleman, and who was yelling at you before, hissed in your direction. Now, you were standing outside the workshop and listening to repeating enormous slams coming from there. Iorek was back at work. "Yes. You definitely could." "You're lucky we're in a good mood..." - She muttered, letting you scoff under your breath. Not even Joy was able to hide the grin on her face. "Good mood, sure." - Joy's voice rang inside your head as you walked among them, not listening to the rest of what she had to say. - "They're just scared because they don't want to get tangled up in a diplomatic dispute with Jordan, as simple as that, Y/N. Sometimes it's fun, having some sense of authority." "Just don't let it mingle with your mind too much. I wouldn't stand listening to hours of your self-praising dialogue." "Oh shush, Y/N."

Not long after being forced out of Iorek's workshop, more like forced-labour tiny space for a bear that was far too intelligent and big for it, your sledge was ready to set off on a journey through the Great Northern wilderness. On your journey, being accompanied by a local hunter, you've taken two photograms (one belonged to a waste, endless snow plain with the sun setting on the horizon and the second belonged to a pair of snow foxes who were staring at you and Joy with pure interest) and made countless journal entries to describe the excitement that filled you up. The pages were filled with plain reflections and observations, occasionally you also drew a sketch, trying to capture the essence of the place inside your mind.

To be frank, the further you were from any signs of civilization, the darker the nights got and the colder the climate was - snow usually came late at night or very early in the morning, but that wasn't anything Samuel couldn't handle. The reindeer pushing the sledges with all your belongings was well-tamed and calm, even though the biggest snow storms you had to push through. On a late evening of the second day, you stopped yourself for a second to look at a majestic cliff covered in snow that was frozen solid.

Your cheeks were on fire, stinging with each blow of the ice-cold wind, you've been dressed with God knows how many layers of clothing just to be able to use your limbs and keep warm. Samuel made you both a strong herbal tea mixed with some of the spirits to keep your bloodstream bumping that hot fluid into your body, so you unfastened the staple off your belt to take a sip out of the thermos while taking in the sight. On the very edge of the cliff, probably built into the rock, there was the observatory you've heard all about. The lights were on, almost welcoming and inviting. It wasn't excessive but it wasn't too small either, the outer walls made out of, presumably, insulating panels to keep the place warm. So far, the place itself didn't appear to be too bad.

"Almost there, miss. I'll get you inside in about an hour before another snowstorm hits us. How are those cheeks of yours doing, huh?" - The hunter asked with a scoff, poking fun at you. Sure, you should've expected the North to be very cold (that's why you bought so many warm clothes in the end), but you didn't expect your mimic muscles to stiffen up in a rather uncomfortable smile which you weren't able to shake off for the most part of today's morning. Now, you scoffed at the question, but you'd been crying seven hours ago since the spasm hurt really bad. You had to close your eyes and push your face above a fire for the muscles to finally relax. "Much better now, Samuel, you're a wizard. Now I'm better off knowing I'll need to pack a face mask with me." "Don't call me that. Don't want the Magisterium coming after me." "Oh, don't worry." - You answered in a similarly amused tone of voice. - "Your secret is definitely safe with me."

As you pushed closer and closer to the observatory, the night was getting bleakly cold; you had high snow boots on with a pair of woollen socks inside, but you couldn't feel your feet for at least ten minutes by that point. As usual, both your daemons hid under the fabric holding all of your stuff in place so they wouldn't freeze to death. Thankfully, the doorstep was just a small bit away now, not even ten minutes of a painfully slow pace. "Are you sure you're supposed to be here? Doesn’t add up to me!" - Samuel called out all of a sudden, trying to shout over the strong wind howling in your ears. - "I know I shouldn't stick my nose into your scholar business, but... You seem nice and I do mean it in the best way possible." "I'm pretty positive I am, Sam, this is my home for the next four months. Shame I won't be able to take morning strolls under the morning sun!" "Well, technically you can but you’ll need to dress properly and take a cup of hot coffee! But that's beside the point! I'm talking about that scholar who's living here! Asriel IDon’tRememberHisLastName!" "What about him? Has he been acting up around you? Was he rude?" "You see, you're nice and he's... How should I put it delicately?" "I know what he's like, don't worry! I've already worked with him previously. And to answer your question, I'm totally in the right place. Only Golden boy would choose this place to in voluntarily."

“Golden boy?” - Samuel repeated with an amused expression creeping all over his face. - "I like that. I like that a lot. I’m just worried because sometimes he doesn’t seem to have an ounce of reason. Asriel is smart, smarter than all the folk in Trollesund with me included, but he has the look of a madman.” “Really? Either I’m blind or he never looked at me that way. I’d never suspect that, to be honest with you!” “Or never look at you in that way, probably. As I said, you’re a nice person to be around.” “Samuel thank you for the kind words but stop complimenting me. All the blood will flow into my cheeks and instead of pushing my face above a fire, I’ll have to push my head into a sink full of boiling hot water.” - And with that, you’ve both stopped at the summit, standing right below the entrance. The storm was getting worse, the wind now picking on both intensity and cold.

As Samuel helped you carry all your bags and replenishments of supplies, you started to look for your copy of the keys that had been sent to you by Thorold; you managed to open the door wide, putting it all into an entrance hall before saying your goodbye to Samuel, wishing him farewell as you watched him pushing back through the snow, his reindeer never leaving his side. The night was just getting worse and as you watched him disappearing into the void of darkness, you hoped he'd make it back home alright. It was hard to tell if it was the journey’s toil that had left its mark on you or if it was the numb feeling in all of your limbs, but you’d never been in a warmer and nicer place than Adriel’s observatory. It was visible at the first glance that he doesn’t bother with cleaning too much; the place wasn’t wreaked by strange smells or dirt visible by the eye, but pure chaos had overtaken every surface visible on the first floor. It was dimly lit, feeling almost overly secretive and intimate, but you’ve been able to recognize the kitchen and a door cracked open, leading into the bathroom.

As you walked further into the building and took off your gloves, hat and the hood of your coat, the feeling of a burning, almost painful sensation overwhelmed you; your limbs remembered that they were indeed still attached to your body upon regaining sense. It felt strange… To have all five fingers again. The sudden warmth difference also wore you out instantly. Now that you were in safety, you were ready to sleep through a whole day's worth of time. You could’ve been standing in one place for around five minutes, just taking in the interior of the place and regaining control over your body when you noticed fuss coming to you from the upper floor; Asriel wasn’t seen for a few moments as he made his way to the stairway, pulling the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows.

It was unclear who Asriel was expecting to appear on the doorstep... Yet simply the way Asriel stopped in his tracks to look at you with disbelief made you realize that you certainly weren't who he'd been awaiting. He froze in place, still holding the hem of his sleeve between his fingers while watching you awkwardly smile at him, even raising your numb hand to wave his way; Stelmaria was accompanying him, tilting her head to her shoulder as she let her eyes ponder over you and Joy.

Asriel still looked the way you remembered him - and mind you, it was a few good years since you’d had the time to look at him properly, without any sense of rush. When he was around Jordan, which wasn't too often, you'd pass each other in the hall while walking to entirely different parts of the college - once in a time. The man was clearly in good condition (given the circumstances outside, he had to be in the best shape possible), letting his clothes delicately outline his frame; his sweater was tucked into cosy pants that highlighted his hipbone as well as emphasized the width of his shoulders. The features on Adriel’s face had grown a little deeper, worried, and the wrinkles were standing out more than you remembered - but that could be easily explained due to the dim lighting of the observatory. Sure, his hair was quite overgrown and wavy, but that could be understood due to the absence of any professional barber. If someone would ask you if there was a feature which remained just the way you recalled it, it was his eyes - the shape and intense blue checked out perfectly, just like the intensity with which he was watching you.

It was still there. Throughout the years you’ve spent building your own academic career, you managed to persuade yourself that this must've been a fabrication of your mind, something that would make you feel better about spending your evenings in utter silence disturbed only by the music coming from the gramophone located in the back of his office. Now, standing in front of him as you returned his look, it clearly wasn’t just a delusion. The lingering sensation in his stare, unsaid words you wished to hear. Thoughts locked in the fortress built out of cold logic and knowledge, topics that were never brought up even though you’d both enjoy talking about them; you’d maybe even laughed, who knew?

Before you could say anything out loud, just as you opened your lips to greet him and send regards from Dr Carne, Asriel outran you by a long shot. As he made his way down the stairs, you could hear him breathing out loud as if you had just upset him somehow. Then, he spoke; in a tone that sent chills down your spine and made you shiver. First, there was the frown and second, there was the thunder taking the form of his voice. - “What on Earth are you doing here, Ms Y/L/N?”

#lord asriel x fem!reader #lord asriel #asriel belaqua x fem!reader #asriel belaqua #his dark materials (2019 2022) #his dark materials imagine #his dark materials hbo #his dark materials #hdm #iorek byrnison #IT'S IOREK #WOOOO #i do love this bear and I would die for him without a doubt in my mind #he's the mvp of movie/show no doubt about it

[mdhwrites]

This might be a bit of a broad question, but what do you think makes a piece a media Timeless?

Is the sum of its parts or do you think its something in particular

So this is a subject that is both really simple and the answer sounds obvious but also is one of those things that can get lost in being pedantic. Worse yet, I feel like you might be asking this with the mindset of how most people talk about timeless works in that they're also commonly considered classics.

These two are not synonymous. The sum of somethings parts usually being greater than the whole while every individual piece is great is what commonly makes something a classic. Spiderverse, the first one and potentially the whole trilogy if it sticks its landing, will be considered classics because those movies are great in each part but combined together they're absolutely incredible.

This also makes what is a classic or not up for debate. If you don't like Shakespeare, you won't consider Romeo and Juliet a classic. You'll see it as over dramatic pedophilia potentially. (Not my opinion but I've seen more than one person like to do the modern 'criticism' angle towards Romeo and Juliet because of the ages of the two leads, not taking into account that that was probably pretty common back then.)

They're timeless however because of one thing: Audience resonance. Or, in other words, themes, and commonly how universal they are. This makes them much less up for debate.

After all, there are fantasy works that are timeless. That shouldn't be possible, right? I mean, they're set in medieval times for many works so the technology, social structure and even priorities of those characters shouldn't function for a modern society, right? Or hell, for something less bluntly absurd, just look at It's a Wonderful Life. The main character in that movie runs a successful business, has a wife and two kids and a full group of friends and allies and he's considered as just doing alright. To a modern millennial, that is an INSANE amount of wealth and could make the main character much less likable.

But to most, he truly is the good every man. Not just in that he does good things but in the doubting. In the jealousy. Mr. Bailey is by no means a perfect soul, but his soul does indeed shine bright. It's so easy to compare ourselves to others though. To always think we're not doing enough or not see the good we're putting into the world. The idea that all we make is mistakes and even if we're not literally worth more dead, we would do less harm if we were dead.

To any empathetic soul, this makes It's a Wonderful Life easily a timeless movie. It doesn't matter if what George Bailey faces is different from our modern context, what matters is that he is going through life, just like we all are.

This is actually something that a lot of bigots close a blind eye to. "How am I supposed to relate to this if the character is gay/black/a jew, trans, etc.? I'm not any of those things so it must be impossible for me to connect to this work!" They believe that racial background is everything. That you must have lived those experiences in order to connect with them.

We are all human though. No amount of time will ever change that what beats in our very beings is the same. How that manifests in personality, skin, gender, religion, etc. like that doesn't matter. We all face fear, anxiety, anger, joy, passion, etc. A common laborer with no ambitions can still connect to a mad scientist on the screen because the same feeling that scientist feels when he screams "IT'S ALIVE!" is the same joy of success and passion that that office worker gets when he puts down the last piece of a ten thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.

And while I say whether something is or isn't timeless isn't really up for debate, what is is whether it connects to you. I have two relatives who don't like It's a Wonderful Life. They are some of the most financially motivated and petty people I know, at least that are close to me. And neither are my brother shockingly enough, who loves the movie too.

I won't say that just because I try to have a universal outlook on things that I could connect to a story that is strictly that of an African American. I didn't have to live through the prejudice many of them face because of the color of my own skin. I can try my best to empathize though. That when they tell their stories and let their anger and frustration be known, I can try to connect with those emotions so I can better attempt to see the world through their eyes, if even briefly.

This is much of why while I write a lot of sapphic fiction, I root a lot of those elements in emotions like love, anxiety, fear, shame, etc. because I understand those emotions. I lack the specifics to make it resonate 100% with a sapphic reader, which is why I do recommend people check out proper sapphic writers if that's what they're wanting most of my works, but I can try to make it emotionally honest enough that they can see some part of themselves in the work.

Honestly, to me, what makes a work timeless actually makes anything that's emotionally earnest, and at least a 6 or7/10, hard NOT to be timeless. It also makes it damn near impossible for a work to have NO ONE who considers it timeless.

It just needs to be able to resonate and if you're worth anything as a writer, that resonance should simply be a part of your process. After all, your work should at least resonate with one person: You. Because if you don't enjoy it, why are you writing it?

#Timeless #writing analysis