#also i know fuck all about farming ok

[mediumtires]

i'm rereading copper and wool and did you ever say what christians anniversary gift was for toto 🤔

okay okay SO! this is so funny, a few weeks ago the first person ever (shoutout to FallingStar on ao3) actually guessed right! it's sheep! to me it was so obvious (copper and wool etc) but looking back now, it really wasn't. so christian's anniversary gift is sheep lol.

when i wrote it i was actually planning a tiny little sequel but I abandoned it and now it's collecting dust on my desktop. that being said, i’ll put it here (unbeta-d first draft) for those who might want to read it!

“No. No chance.” “C’mon, be a good sport.” “Nein,” Toto says, trying hard to hide his smirk. “I will not let you blindfold me.”

“What if I were to take you upstairs?” “Are you?” “No.” “Then no,” Toto laughs, a little exasperated, and tries to pull away from Christian’s insisting hands.

“C’mon, darling,” Christian tries again, a wide grin lighting up his features. “You know it’s the standard protocol for surprises.”

“I don’t trust you,” Toto just says and turns away from Christian and the tie in his hands to put the water filter back in the fridge. “Fuck you.” Christian laughs in retaliation and swats the tie at him. “At least close your eyes then.”

Toto sighs heavily and turns back to Christian, propping one hand up on the kitchen counter. “Are you serious?” “Entirely.” Christian knows he’s won when Toto sighs once more in exasperation and rakes a hand through his hair.

“But don’t make me fall,” he instructs. “Or walk me into things. I’m very important.” Christian rolls his eyes. “I know you are. Now, c’mon. Close your eyes. We don’t have all day.” “We don’t?” 

But Toto does close his eyes after all and stretches his hands out to curl them around Christian’s hips. As Christian starts walking, he says, “Y’know, if you would’ve gone for the tie, I might’ve taken you to the bedroom after.”

Toto snorts. “If you want me to tie you up and blindfold you, just ask,” he offers with a devilish little smirk and Christian is glad he’s got his eyes closed. Something to consider. “Maybe later.” He’s aiming for nonchalant, but he knows Toto sees right through him anyway.

When they step out onto the patio, Toto pulls up his shoulders and frowns. “Are we outside?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Can you not just let me do this for five minutes?” Christian asks, exasperated. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Toto does shut up after that, but it’s mainly because he’s concentrating hard on not tripping and falling when trailing after Christian.

It’s been a few days since their return from Miami and this is the first lull in both their schedules, both of them home early, so frankly, Christian saw an opportunity and took it. Not that he thinks it would have made a huge difference to wait another day or two. Toto hasn’t set a foot anywhere but the chicken coop in a good week, so the probability of him finding out about this is hilariously low. It does make Christian question the whole idea somewhat, but it’s too late now anyway. Still, the Carrera on his left wrist weighs a little heavier than usual.

Toto trips once they reach the gravel path leading further into the grounds and digs his hands into the fleshy bit of Christian’s hips to catch himself. He grunts, stumbles, and Christian can’t help but crack a laugh. “Careful there,” he offers. “Gravel.” He pats Toto’s left hand and then keeps his palm there.

“You are supposed to guide me,” Toto complains, and he already sounds like he’s enjoying this much less than only a minute ago. “You are making me fall on purpose.”

“I’m not.” Christian rolls his eyes towards the sky but keeps moving. “Not everything I do is to antagonise you, darling. Now stop whining.”

Toto does not stop whining because of course he doesn’t. He’s very vocal about how stupid this whole thing is all the way past the chickens, the goats and the donkeys, the pen closest to the house, past their two old ponies, Jacky and Jim, which they had adopted on a whim from the farmer up the road.

For a moment, Christian is contemplating whether he should just push Toto into the pond to humble him. A while ago a bunch of ducks moved in and don’t seem to want to leave again. Christian has grown quite fond of them. More often than not he finds them with the chickens now or waddling around the farm.

“Are we—Is that ducks? Is that the ducks?” Toto has picked up on the distinct flapping of their wings, affronted at the unusual intrusion of their privacy. Christian chuckles at the drake side eying them and pulls Toto further down the path towards the folding. It’s the one attached to the barn at the outskirts of their main property, and Christian had chosen it mainly because it was the one Toto would be least likely to walk into unprompted.

“Almost there,” he says and takes one of Toto’s hands in his so navigating the uneven grounds becomes a little easier. “Should have put on wellies,” he ponders, as he eyes the meadow, the grass long and wet. It’s perfect for the sheep but not exactly ideal for Toto’s dress shoes. They’re Italian leather.

“What?” Toto makes a sound as the damp grass hits his ankles and Christian’s smirk widens. “Christian, you should’ve told me! My boots were right there! These are Italian leather!”

He knows. “I know.” He pulls Toto along. Surprisingly, despite his bitching and moaning, he keeps his eyes closed. “Might have to throw them out later. Shame.” He’ll make sure to keep Toto out here long enough for them to be soaked through and ruined. 

Toto makes another sound, displeased, but Christian can see how hard he’s trying to bite down on his exasperated amusement. Toto’s about to throw a comment back at him when a loud “Baaaaa” cuts him off. “What was that?” Toto pulls himself up a little taller. The sheep must’ve spotted them because there’s another string of agreeable bleating. “Christian, what is that?”

They stop at the fence and Toto, still with his eyes closed, sways a little, gripping Christian’s hand to regain his balance. “Christian.”

“Jesus, yes.” Now that he’s looking at the flock of sheep, all huddled together and warily observing Christian and Toto at the fence, he’s not sure if this wasn’t a silly idea.

He’d come up with it when Toto had one night jokingly suggested they should get sheep.

“Sheep?” “Yeah.” “Do you know how much bloody work sheep are, darling? We can barely keep up with the animals we’ve collected so far! We’re lucky we’ve got Johnny to help us out.” Toto had just laughed and kissed his shoulder and let it go, but then, on a trip to Austria last year, Toto had told him how he’d seen a herd of very specific Austrian sheep every time he’d visited his gran in the countryside and how they reminded him of the better times of his childhood. When Christian started thinking about potential anniversary gifts, it was too perfect to just let go. He couldn’t for the life of him remember the breed Toto had mentioned, but the more he’d looked into it, the more he’d realised that while Austrian sheep are very durable and sturdy, they would probably do less well in the mellow British countryside of Oxfordshire, and so he’d decided on British breeds instead. In the end, he’d just gone for one that looked adorable and was easy enough to maintain. With the accumulation of random animals they already had running around the farm, it wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway. They wouldn’t be using them for wool farming or that, so might as well have them be nice to look at.

The longer he looks at them now, Toto impatient at his side, still holding his hand, the heavier the watch on his wrist feels. Christian isn’t one for huge gestures or anniversary gifts, but somehow things this year felt different. It hasn’t even been a year since Singapore. It still follows them around, the consequences of that day, shadowy and washed out, but he can still feel it, and so can Toto. Christian is just glad they’re still here. They made it to seven years, and beyond, and for whatever bloody reason he thought a flock of seven sheep would be ideal to celebrate an anniversary centred around wool.

“Christian, there’s water in my shoes,” Toto informs him, and Christian turns his head and grins at his city husband, still blind, the corners of his mouth tweaked down.

“That’s a shame,” he says, “You can open your eyes now.”

Toto does so immediately. He blinks, frowns up at the grey sky, rubs at his eyes with the hand that isn’t still holding Christian’s. Christian lets go to lean against the wooden fence instead.

There is a brief pause. Then, “Christian?” “Yes, darling.” “What am I looking at.” Christian turns to Toto with his eyebrows twitching. As if it wasn’t obvious. “Your anniversary gift!” Toto’s eyes go a little wider as he looks back at the flock of sheep, a huddle of white fleece and black eyes. “What?”

“I told you, your gift was waiting at home.”

“You got me… sheep?”

“Well, us, I guess. But yeah.”

“Seven sheep?”

“Well, first of all, Johnny said no less than five.” Christian is getting a little flustered now and so he blusters on in full pretentious confidence of a Formula 1 team principal defending a Max overtake that no one in good conscience should defend. “And so I wanted to get six, but then I thought, well that doesn’t make any sense, does it, when it’s our seven year anniversary and the theme I’m going with is wool. So I got seven. And they’re a family! The two little ones were only born a few weeks ago. I didn’t want to take them from their mothers.” He pulls his shoulders down a little to straighten his back and keeps looking at the sheep to avoid having to look at his husband. “Plus, you were banging on about wanting sheep.”

“You remembered that? That was ages ago.”

“So?”

“Christian.” Toto’s voice is soft in a way it only ever is when he’s about to say something disarming. “Darling. I—” And then he just wraps himself around Christian from behind, chin hooked over his shoulder and nosing Christian’s cheek. “You said they are too much work.”

“Well, you said you wanted them so—” “How do you manage to outdo me every time?” Toto’s voice is awfully quiet. “I really thought I nailed it this year.” Christian breathes a laugh, half of it in relief that he, against better judgement, didn’t mess this up. “You know I love my watch,” he tells Toto, fingers brushing the warmed leather hugging his wrist. “And this isn’t a competition. You got copper, I got wool. Sorted.”

“I can’t believe you got me sheep,” Toto says again. His voice is a little higher than usual, his accent catching on the vowels, making the words come out hitched.

“Well, look,” Christian grabs one of the large hands wrapped around his torso and covers it with his own. “It’s not just—Sure, you said you wanted sheep, but—Look, I know you’re not a farm boy, okay? You’re very much a child from the city and I know you say you love our home, but I want you to feel it, too, I want you to feel at home here and not just come along for the ride and agree to everything I say. Especially after last year, I want this place to be our sanctuary, and if it takes bloody sheep because you said you wanted them, then so be it. There’s your sheep.”

Toto’s smile widens, Christian can feel it pressed to his cheek, and he can feel the pleased little hum too, reverberating down his spine. Toto’s hold around him tightens fractionally. “I feel very at home, darling. You know that, ja? I don’t need sheep for that. Mostly I need you.”

Christian closes his eyes on a deep breath, and sinking further into Toto’s chest he says, “We can put them with the rest of the lot soon. They’ll need another few days or so, until they’re settled in, and then we can move them in with the others.”

“We’ll need a sheep dog now.”

Christian barks a laugh, lets his head thump against Toto’s shoulder in defeat. “Yeah, no, Bernie and Flav won’t do, will they? Lazy little buggers.” “It’s because you feed them at the table.” “Hey, you started that! Flav, with those puppy eyes and you just—Don’t think I don’t know you cut him up steak when I’m not looking!” Toto’s silent laughter comes in short puffs of breath against the skin of Christian’s neck. “No no no no,” he feels the need to clarify even though they both know it’s the truth. “You feed them too, don’t lie.” Christian tries to stifle a smirk. “They are a tad overweight, aren’t they?” “The vet said, last time,” Toto reminds him. “We need to work them harder, or cut out the food.” Christian hums. “It might be time for a third. A puppy will work them alright.” He coughs a laugh, already regretting this, and adds, “Might as well get a cow or two while we’re at it. Not like it matters now.”

“What are we going to call them?” Toto suddenly asks, lifting his chin from Christian’s shoulder to regard the sheep more closely.

“Well, we gotta stick to the theme.” Christian’s mouth lifts into a smirk. “So you better get creative.”

“It’s my turn, isn’t it?” Toto asks. “My sheep, my turn.” “Toto, I swear, if you’re going to name them something stupid—” “You named the donkeys and now I have to call them Max and Daniel!” Christian’s protest dissipates into thin air. “Well, it works, they’re good names.” “Yes, and now it’s my turn.” “Just remember, it’s mostly ewes. One ram, the big one, the rest is ewes, and the two lambs are one of each.” “…ewes?” “Female sheep, darling. So I want no Lewis running around, or George, or whoever you’re already thinking of.” “No,” Toto hums thoughtfully. “Lewis is a goat, not a sheep.”

It's so stupid, it has Christian crack a well-earned laugh.

And bonus (cause I couldn’t work this in):

“You know, they’re like… designer sheep.” “They’re what? Designer sheep?” “Yeah, well, look, we’re not going to use them for breeding, or wool, or meat, are we, so they’re… you know. Nice to look at. Sheep we can keep as pets, more or less. They’re still a durable breed, just. Also nice to look at.”

Toto laughs at him for an hour after that.

Here are said sheep!

“They look a little like donkeys, don’t they?” “You think?” “Ja.” “Well, they’re not, they’re sheep. Kerry Hill.” “Kerry who? Have you named them already?” “What? No, that’s the breed, darling. They’re Kerry Hill sheep. They’re from Wales.” “So basically foreigners, yes? We should give them foreign names. International.” Toto grins at him, then he adds, “We should give them German names you can’t pronounce.”

#this is so stupid lol #this is literally just a rough first draft so bear with #it’s the same twenty words i always use #i have no idea if this even makes sense. probably not i won’t lie i skimmed it once and shrugged #also i know fuck all about farming ok #don’t come for me i don’t know the difference between a hen house and a chicken coop it’s the same to me #and! #shoutout to FallingStar on ao3! they’re the only one who figured it out!!! #(i know i promised i’d name the sheep but i never got there lol sorry!!!) #also i can’t quite remember but i think discord saw this first? it was ages ago but sending love <3<3<3 #toto wolff #christian horner #seven years #christian/toto

[samuraisharkie]

ok I genuinely think @is-the-owl-video-cute has gone off the deep end. what makes you act like that on the internet for real. I don’t even have a real stock in this bullshit drama but they are just the most reactionary asshole to people? how can y’all look up to them they are genuinely so immature and pissy. they’ve been throwing a fit over users they personally dislike and using absolutely no proof at all to say they doxxed ppl. there’s like zero proof other than they don’t like them LMAO. can y’all log the fuck off please?? before someone actually gets hurt??

#is-the-owl-video-cute #yeah I’m tagging actually I hope ppl searching for drama see this and get a reality check #I saw that archived link what the actual fucking shit in hell were they thinking typing that? #they arent fucking animal murderers. they don't like the way scout handles their media presence or their farm #but that doesn’t mean they doxxed them and there is zero evidence to suggest as much. they’ve said they didn’t so like. nothing to go on.💀 #(frankly also. scout and owlvid should be able to handle criticism and disagreements like normal fucking people #instead of flying off the handle literally every single time. like it’s a pattern) #I think both of them should just log off until they learn to handle this shit in a normal way #and without encouraging their impressionable followers to go on witch-hunts after ppl. #especially bc they don’t like it when it happens to them?? yet they say NOTHING when their followers start harassing ppl?? telling lol #I can’t stand it. y’all aren’t educators and you will never be the end all be all of every opinion you have. stop assuming such. #owlvid has had wildly inaccurate ‘facts’ about rabbits before but acting like they KNOW this shit is infuriating. #I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that every ‘is the x animal cute’ blog has gone to shit and up a creek though #just particularly disappointed in owlvid and scout for the way they’ve handled this #while KNOWING the amount of followers that would swallow their boots all the way their their head if they could #like. cmon. you can say you don’t know enough abt this subject to comment. it’s ok. #and I think scout should be able to handle and address criticisms abt their cows without losing it every single time like #I’ve never met a good farmer that can’t handle criticism for their animals. it’s part of the job you won’t please everyone #and if you are planning on being an educator you have to be able to handle those criticisms with a level head and understanding. #that’s not what owlvid OR scout do. they are influencers on a power trip. #if you want respect you have to give it. not one of the dreaded rabbit people have been disrespectful about their criticism. #it is not so the other way around and that’s telling as hell #the only time I’ve seen these apparently evil sadistic rabbit bloggers make sardonic or disrespectful (I guess?) comments is on their own #and when they’re frustrated about being labeled like they kick puppies for fun for being a fucking normal ass farmer lol #you’d think maybe scout would be able to get that. maybe not so much owlvid bc they don’t seem to understand rural animal care #for the record I’m not looking at any of these blogs involved with scrutinizing detail bc I have better things to do #but I have kept an eye on the situation w scout and animal control being called and how it got twisted into ‘doxxing and swatting’ #by high strung ppl who should not have been online #I value my blood pressure too much the urge to just turn off my phone overcomes any desire to look through the drama

[woodruff]

:(

#youtube figured out I'm vegan and thus has just shown me animal gore i think I'm actually gonna be sick jesus fucking christ #i always wonder about the people in the meat & diary industry. i know there are good farms out there - my family had one #but the majority of industrialised animal agriculture is so traumatising for the people working in them #and that's almost never brought up by non-vegans #its always all about immigrants forced to pick vegetables. ok. bad. that's fucked up and needs to be dealt with #but you know what we also need to deal with? those being forced to work in the meat industry that shit leaves you scarred for life #i do think there are sustainable animal friendly ways to go about this i don't think most people could or should be vegan #i just think those who do comsume these products should have a bigger interest in animal and worker welfare #AND THE END OF CAPITALISM AND TORTURE OF ALL LIFE FORMS HUMAN AND ANIMAL #but they seem to not care? at all? #anyway thanks youtube for putting that shit right in front of my eyeballs I'm gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life

[dogtoling]

OK. . . seems i missed the whole 'chickens are controversial in splatoon' thing. . . why?

To put it short there's evidence both for and against them existing, and this is without me actually looking anything up so i might be missing something.

cases for chickens being extant: there's been chickens present in SOME form in several splatfests, they're not mammals so they're not NECESSARILY extinct, despite being domesticated animals and thus being unlikely to survive it doesn't mean it'd be IMPOSSIBLE because pigeons and other relatively human-dependent birds still survive in Splatoon, and of course there are many instances of Eggs being a staple in inkling culinary culture. egg is everywhere

cases for chickens being extinct: we only actually See chickens (or chicken, as in food) in splatfest art and splatfest dialogue which isn't (or at least definitely wasn't until Splatoon 3) canon-compliant at all. We havent actually seen chickens in-universe to my knowledge, nor had them mentioned outside splatfest. probably the biggest nail in the coffin is that there IS a chicken statue in Splatsville, and typically when there are big animal statues in the cities those are statues depicting extinct animals. this is something from an interview that touched on the crane and tortoise statues in Inkopolis Square; which also confirms that it wasn't JUST MAMMALS that suffered and went extinct, it was also other miscellaneous land animals and even random birds which I think me and initially a lot of other people thought were just. Fine and safe. But if a random bird like a crane can be extinct now then chickens are absolutely not safe just because they're not mammals. although eggs are in like every food it's not really been confirmed in any way that those are CHICKEN eggs (although that is the most likely), they could as well be farming domesticated pigeons or something

So really it's a big case of no real confirmation they DO exist, but also no real confirmation they DON'T exist, but also the only context we see them in-universe is in a context where every other animal depicted there IS extinct and it's like a lore thing. So the existence of eggs is a big hint TOWARDS them existing but could easily mean nothing whereas the other one is more in line with proving they do not exist. it is a very uncertain situation for the chicken

HOWEVER!!!!!! there is hope for the chicken. splatfests in Splatoon 3 have had more in-universe accurate themes and dialogue so far (meaning they dont randomly make up shit like "marina's landlord is a narwhal" and "inklings eat red meat" or whatever the fuck in that sea food vs mountain food one we didnt even have that one it was regional). SO THIS MEANS! in the next splatfest we Could get a somewhat stable answer to if chickens exist or not. of course the other 2 options are extinct animals whereas the chicken is 50/50. i'm HOPING the dialogue touches upon this fact and doesn't just talk about all of those like they just Exist. basically we are very close to some kind of progress on this issue that would be Somewhat credible because while splatfest dialogue has never been a credible source in the past, it has been WAY better in S3

TL;DR we just don't know. Chickens are a mystery

#mailbox

[lace-coffin]

Slasher kinks headcanons

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Minors DNI

Slashers x gender neutral! reader

Trigger warnings : consensual non consent (cnc), blood, degradation/humiliation, kidnapping? (Only for Asa)

Kinks: general rough sex, bdsm dynamics, daddy/mommy kink, humiliation/degradation, knife play, primal/prey & predator play, praise, sex whilst ovulating/on period, medical play, topping from the bottom, anal, face fucking, face slapping, spanking/punishment, breeding, knotting, hucow kink, phone sex, the list goes on

did anyone request this? No. Am I going to make u all look at it bc I’m a horndog? Absolutely

I will be writing a top/bottom section for every slasher! No gentials will be mentioned for reader (hole is used to be neutral) but strap/cock will be used in relation to the reader topping.

Michael will also have an extra t4t section for my friend bc there isn’t enough t4t Michael < 3

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas isn’t super experienced in sex before he meets you, infact you’re his first partner. Obviously he knows some of the ins and outs (pun intended) from his own teenage curiosity and hormones. He also might have stolen Atleast one of Hoyt’s porno magazines before now.

Tommy would become more confident in taking the lead once he knows what you like a little more, then he’d be ok trying other positions and bottoming sometimes. Stuff in the beginning might be pretty slow and steady but after you’ve been together a while it can get a lot more intense.

Definitely has a breeding kink, has a dream of having a big family with you and raising them on the farm to continue the Hewitt name. Something about seeing his seed leak from your abused and puffy hole makes him want to breed it into you harder. Tell him you want him to make you a mommy/daddy/parent (even if it’s not biologically possible) and you’ll be manhandled into a mating press until he feels he’s filled you up enough for it to take.

In the same way it makes him feel so pretty and desirable if you tell him your going fuck a baby into him, he doesn’t care if it’s not technically possible, tell him your going to knock him up and keep him round with your seed, he’ll be moaning around your cock/strap like a slut. Push your fingers into his mouth to give him something to keep quiet on : )

Hucow kink! Loves it whether he’s the one submitting or dominating! Let him lead you around the barn with a cute cowbell collar and cow ears on! Loves to include chest play, no matter what gender (or lack there of) your chest he loves grope it, abusing your nipples until they’re swollen/hard and sensitive, don’t worry though, he’ll be more than happy to lave over them to lessen the sting. If your a good little heifer he’ll shove you face first onto a hay bale, pounding you until your hole is gaping and cum is leaking from it into the rough hay <3

If Tommy is being submissive in this situation he’s super eager to please! Tie him up and Milk his cock over and over until he’s actively squirming away from your hand and groaning in overstimulation. He’s a good boy though and knows his place so he won’t break the binds even if it would be easier for him than most people. Humiliate him and make him moo/beg for your cock/strap! Fuck him whilst using his horns as a grip.

Bubba sawyer

Like Tommy bubba is also inexperienced, raised under Drayton’s view that it’s “sex or the saw”. Due to this Bubba viewed sex as a betrayal of his family, being told it was only there to distract you from what’s important. Please be patient with her and reframe her view of sex, let her know she’s not dirty or immoral for having needs and desires.

Once they know more and gain more experience they’re super eager to impress! Litterally goes down on you like it’s their job. You might have to tap out after a few orgasms because he could drink you down for hours. He’ll leave you shaking and leaky and just look up at you with a happy smile on their cum smeared face.

He loves praise and to know that she’s doing a good job, tell them that they make you feel so good in a way no one else can. Don’t be afraid to get a little more rough with your language however, he loves when you compliment how his cock stretches you just right or how he’s made to take your strap/cock. It feels so taboo for them and makes them squirm.

Absolutely loves it if you use feminine names for her in bed. Doll/baby/princess. Makes him feel so pretty and cared for! Play with bubbas tits, they have an ample chest to paw at 👀 will absolutely mewl into the bedsheets and press their tits further into your hands. Loves to be called mommy! It lets them know you feel safe and comfy with them.

Jason voorhees

Jason is another slasher with a skewed view on sex, his mother taught him it was sinful and the reason for his death, but surely anything he does with the person he loves that feels this good can’t be wrong. Encourage him and let him know it’s ok to fulfill his need and he’s not dirty or wrong for it!

Jason is happy to let you take the lead most of the time considering his inhuman strength, he doesn’t want to hurt you and would feel more comfortable if you took things at your own pace, not wanting to get too excited and manhandle you too much (not that you would mind in the slightest). He’s also not opposed to the sight of you on top of him.

He loves it when you take control, using his cock like it was made for you, draining it for all it’s worth. He loves to know he’s the one making you feel good and he’s the one you love. Praise him and tell him how good he’s doing, that he knows all your favourite spots and can make you fall apart. let him know you own his cock and you’ll do whatever you want with it (with consent obviously)

Despite this, if Jason’s had a bad day with trespassers escaping or traps breaking on him he may be inclined to storm through the front door and pin you to the nearest service, spearing you on his thick cock and leaving you dripping without warning or mercy.

Jason will be open to bottoming over time once his confidence in being intimate has improved and he feels less anxious about trying new things. He’ll still need a lot of encouragement to relax but once he does he’s happy to let you take care of him. Hold his hand as you stretch him open on your fingers, exploring parts of Jason he didn’t even know were an option. He gets a little addicted to the feeling of being used, fucking into him with reckless abandon. You can be rougher with him when topping because of his inhuman nature, thrust a toy or finger in his ass along side your cock/strap, he can take it. He doesn’t have much of a gag reflex due to being undead so fuck his face to your hearts content as long as you wipe his tears and drool for him and tell him what a sweet boy he is for you!

Jason’s very sweet with aftercare, making you a warm drink and cleaning you both up with a wet rag, he appreciates if you do the same for him, maybe bring him his cherished teddy bear to ground him until he feels less floaty.

RZ! Michael Myers

Michael may be quiet but he’s very forward and unashamed with the things he wants. Don’t expect Michael to be shy when it comes to needing you. He’ll silently wrap around you from behind, grinding his need into your behind no matter the time or place, although he’ll back off if you tell him no, he’ll pout and let out a grunt of understanding, leaving to deal with it himself if your not in the mood.

Michael is more relentless in topping when he’s come back from a hunt, the adrenaline quickly turning to arousal as he smears the still slightly warm blood over your lips.

I defiantly think Michael enjoys CNC (consensual non consent). He hasn’t had a lot of control over things in his life considering he spent most of it in Smith’s Grove unable to even dictate the most simple aspects of it. He likes the total power exchange and the control he has over you as you squirm underneath him. It really riles him up if you fight back, biting him until he bleeds and thrashing so he can hold you down even harder. Michael loves to silence your pleads with his knife, running the dull side of it over your flushed and tear laden cheeks, moving it down to your throat as a warning.

(Will absolutely make you suck the handle of his knife until your eyes are teary before stuffing as much of it as he can into your man cunt. If you don’t want to Accidently cut your thighs then you better lay still and take it like a good boy.)

To add onto this I think he enjoys cnc on the receiving end to, if he wants to submit he wants to be dominated completely and wholly without mercy (safewords in place obviously). Michael likes to be handled roughly and shown that even if he is The Shape that you can break him down into a drooling mess. He’s 90% legs but Lord does he get insanely hard when you fold those long legs in half and drill him into the bed with your cock/strap.

(Hold him down and strip him of his coveralls and boxers, eat his pussy before he can even get a chance to steady himself. Manhandle him into position and rut your cunt into his, ignoring his pleasure and using him to get off selfishly. He’ll look at you dumbly and fucked out after, long hair frizzy and a mess of slick on his thighs)

Pull him aside and use him whenever you want, if he rolls his eyes or acts bratty feel free to slap him around! He loves a firm smack on the cheek when he won’t open up more than he likes to admit, he likes to feel powerless under you.

Michael would totally be into predator/pray with him playing the predator. Stalking you through the woods or the empty streets of Haddonfield with his trusted knife. He’s not worried about you being in any actual danger because he’s the bulk of danger in the town anyway. he has no doubts that should someone try get the best of you in the dark he could take care of them and not break a sweat. He stalks you through the town loving the way the your pace picks up the longer it takes for him to strike. He knows it’s inevitable, there’s no where you could go that Michael won’t find you. Don’t expect to make it home once he corners you, you’ll be pushed against or bent over whatever surface is nearest and having his cock bullied into you.

(Michael would grab you and slam you against a tree once he had you cornered, making quick work of his zipper and underwear. T-dick engorged with arousal and want, lips glistening behind the dense brown hair. He pushes you to your knees and gets to work. You will be spending the next while with your mouth and fingers pressed against Michael’s cunt, your head jerked harder and more forcefully the closer he gets)

Billy lenz

Billy is also very forward with what he wants as we can see from the movie, though I do personally headcanon that Billy is hypersexual due to his trauma so sex can go either one of two ways. Either he’ll be super into it and eager or ashamed and feeling disgusted with himself, if it’s the latter please reassure him it’s not dirty or wrong and try distract him with something else.

This couldn’t be a Billy lenz kink post without phone sex. He loves to call you up when your busy (shopping, on a walk, at work) and spew filth down your ear, telling you all the things he’s going to do to you or that he’ll let you do to him. The riskier the location the better. Sometimes he’ll even already be touching himself, mewling down the receiver like a slut for you to come home.

To add onto this I think he’d have a kink for fucking you whilst you talk to someone on the phone, giggling as he nudges his dick against the perfect spot, making you keen into the speaker.

Billy loves dirty talk on either end, whether it’s him telling you how he’s going to choke you on his fat cock or you telling him how good he feels inside you and to cum inside. He adores degrading you, making you feel like a cum dump. He’ll taunt you, telling you you’re only good to warm his cock and get him off, making you sniffle and repeat it back to him for his own satisfaction and ego.

He occasionally thought about the possibility of bottoming from time to time before meeting you but brushed it off since he’s not super familiar with it and didn’t want to meet up with a stranger to try. That didn’t stop him from experiencing with a finger or two but he wasn’t informed and didn’t use lube so it wasn’t good lol.

All this changes after you mention it one night in bed, excited but nervous Billy accepts. It turns out he’s a complete bottom bitch, such a slut any time you can get him under you, he’ll moan without holding back not caring if the other sorority members hear. He doesn’t care whether you’re pounding into him with his face smashed into the covers like a whore or if he’s riding you greedily, he loves it anytime he can have your cock/strap in him.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is incredibly needy and intense, inexperienced but excited to get as close to you as humanly possible. He may come off a little bratty and demanding but he’s completely willing to wait until you’re ready, he’d never do anything you didn’t want. When you are ready it’s all hands on deck, Brahms wants you all the time at any time.

It doesn’t matter if you’re impaled on his cock or if your burried inside him, Brahms is just happy to be close and horny lol

Absolutely has a mommy/daddy kink (dude has crazy mommy issues). He enjoys it when you take the reins for him and tell him what to do, order him about, tell him how to please mommy/daddy just the way they like. You already have quite the control over him in your daily life anyway, telling him what to do and when, making sure he follows his rules. Talk Brahms through how to ride your shaft/strap, make him slow down and speed up whenever you feel like it for your own enjoyment, ignoring his pleas to fuck him properly.

Brahms is horny pretty often, as a result of this penetrative sex isn’t always a need. He loves having free use of you, fucking your thighs until he spills all over them or grabbing your hand and rutting against it whilst you read a book in the other.

Spanking! Nothing puts unruly little boys back in their place like beating their ass until they beg you to stop, all of Brahms’s brattiness seems to disappear once he knows he’s pushed it to far and has a punishment coming his way. He’ll cry and beg you to change your mind but it’s too late, bend him over your lap and rip his trousers down. If he’s been extra ill-behaved bring out the paddle, switching cheeks and making him count until his ass has a pretty pink flush to it.

Asa Emory

Asa demands to be in control, that much is clear and that translates over into bed too. You might have met Asa organically through his university lectures or a museum, if this is the case then you will still be with him under the guise of a 24/7 power exchange relationship. If you met him via kidnapping and was taken to the hotel to be a pet then this will still be expected of you but with the addition of being experimented on/tortured for his own satisfaction. You won’t have a say on your freedom. (I’m going to be writing it from the perspective your kept at the hotel as a pet because it’s more likely)

Asa gets a sick thrill out of treating you like a dog. Fucking you whilst gripping the leash wrenched around your neck until you’re wheezing for air. He’ll make you bark for his cock just to laugh at how pathetic and needy you are, humiliating yourself so you can get your hole stuffed, disgusting. Paw mitts and belts on the thighs/calfs are used to make you practically immobile, totally reliant on him to fulfill your needs and unwilling to do so until he’s broken you down into a sobbing panting mess.

Even when bottoming Asa takes control, barking orders at you about how he likes to be fucked, faster, deeper. You better not even think about cumming without permission or you won’t be cumming again for the next few days whilst he uses your cock/strap like a sex toy. Asa pulls you by your hair as you eat his ass, choking/slapping you if you’re not doing it to his liking. At the end he’ll spit in your mouth and make you say “thank you sir”, forcing your jaw open to make sure you swallowed it all down and patting you on the cheek as a reward.

Medical play is a favourite of his. He enjoys nothing more than stripping you naked and strapping you down to the chilly metal medical table, securing your wrists to the wrist clamps. Snapping on his black latex (unless you’re allergic to latex lol) gloves Asa will dissect you bit by bit. New toys are regularly incorporated to see if he can get a different reaction from you. This can be through pain or pleasure, they’re both the same to him. Clamping your nipples and pulling them until they’re red and sore or landing slaps on your hole for squirming too much. Writing your reactions down on his clipboard and looking at you as nothing more than one of his specimens to pull apart and observe. If he notices a reaction he hasn’t seen from you before he’ll try again and again to recreate it no matter how taxing that may be on your body. Speculums are a favourite of his, prying open and inspecting your most private parts, pressing his fingers or different toys in to see how you react, spread hole twitching at the stimuli and unable to do anything about it. It feels intimate and violating in a way he loves to be able to look at your inner most parts so coldly and close up.

Yautja/predator (female and male)

Yautja are naturally pretty dominant in bed, the whole culture they live in revolves around shows of strength and resilience. Your mate thrives off taking care of all of your needs and proving themselves worthy and this is no different in bed. Always happy to satisfy your needs as your lover and the one who cares for you, your mate will come to help out any time they smell your arousal.

Female Yautja

Your mate naturally takes care of you in bed, a headstrong women who has earned her place on the higher end of society, because of this she loves to dress you up in the finest clothing and jewellery on Yautja prime, showing off her status and by proxy, yours. Don’t think you’re going to just leave the house in it though, she’ll pin you down, eyes taking in every part of you, the way the silky fabric lays across your centre, ready to be opened like a gift. The outfit will include a gold collar to match, one with her mark carved in it so everyone knows who you belong to. She may even take to fucking you in public if anyone tries to challenge her bond with you, your abused hole on display for anyone to see.

As your mate she trusts you to return the favour, however control isn’t given over that easily. You may be the one inside her cunt but she’s the one using you until your spent, a death grip on your collar as she looks down at you from on top, snarling in your face and a placing marking nips against your throat with her mandibles.

Once mating season rolls around she’ll be even more demanding, the instinct to mate and breed you at its peak. You’ll be kept in the nest of furs and fucked over and over. If you pass out? Not her problem, she’ll keep going until she’s satisfied your scented up and marked properly. She takes no brattiness during this time either, acting out or being difficult will earn you getting pinned to the furs, mandibles flared and snarling until you submit.

Male yautja

Another one I think would enjoy primal/predator play. Your mate stalks you through the jungle whilst cloaked. He knows your every exact move and you’re none the wiser. He loves how he can taste your fear in the air but he knows it’s all for show because he can taste you arousal permeating the dense tree’s too. He’ll appear out of nowhere just as your adrenaline reaches it’s peak and swipe your ankles, forcing you down to the leafy floor with him. He lets out a clicky laugh at the surprise scream you let out. Wasting no time he mounts you like an animal and ruins you again and again until your both spent.

Your mate can tell when you’re ovulating and he’s ecstatic to help. Blood is so common to him in his daily life it doesn’t phase him at all, he’s perfectly happy to get down and a little messy, you smell so sweet to him during this time. If this matches with his rutt then you aren’t leaving the bed for a few days, he’ll fuck into you mercilessly until his swollen knot pops inside you, connecting you both together. Once it deflates he’ll scoop his cum back up and push it into your hole, not wanting to waste a drop.

Sometimes it’s nice to be taken care of, and you prove this by absolutely destroying him. Go feral, show him how much of a capable mate you are, wrestle him to the floor and ruin his hole, leave bites and marks on him to claim him. He’ll snarl the whole time and fight back but he loves it. He may even let you use a toy/strap with a knot on it to emulate being seeded and stuffed at the end.

#asa emory #asa emory x reader #bubba sawyer #bubba saywer x reader #slasher x reader #slashers #texas chainsaw massacre #the collection #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #yautja #yautja x reader #predator #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz #black christmas #jason vorhees x reader #jason voorhees #friday the 13th #halloween #rz michael myers #michael myers #smut #slasher headcanons #slasher #my writng #texas chainsaw massacre: the beggining #slasher smut

[junicult]

!! the bachelors & hot features they have / things they do

contains ; gn!farmer. written w fem!farmer in mind, but nothing that specifies. established relationship. nsfw. body / facial hair headcanons. suggestive content. mostly sfw w fluff. not proofread.

note ; ok so this is a prompt i made like a year ago on my other blog, so i just decided to bring it here w stardew valley characters!

harvey.

- he’s literally the loml.

- he’s so well groomed, his hygiene is genuinely perfect.

- ofc we know he has his famous mustache, super clean and neat. he trims it every so often to keep it that way.

- and i feel like he can grow a beard, but it doesn’t come in as thick so he decides to just shave it.

- this man has a happy trail 🫡

- a dark, thick patch of hair that trails up to his belly button. it progressively thins the higher it goes, but it’s definitely prominent when he’s wearing low shorts or even just boxers.

- he keeps that nice and trimmed too. i’m tellin you, he’s so clean.

- he also smells so good. whether it be cologne, or just him, it’s so good.

- he’s a boxer briefs kinda guy. they make him feel secure.

- he probably sleeps in a matching pair of pants and shirt. lol.

- but likely during the summer, he’ll end up falling asleep in just his boxers every once in a while.

- this man is the perfect husband.

- wakes up to make you breakfast, makes dinner to give you before you get home.

- on lazy days he’ll clean up the house, make sure it’s all nice and tidy while you work on the farm.

- he recognizes you have a lot to do, so he wants to give you as much as you give him.

- a househusband, if u will.

- he’s a cuddler.

- whether it be just sitting on the couch, watching tv, or lying in bed—he’s cuddling u.

- big spoon, little spoon, wrapped around your body one way or another.

- if he knows you hate cuddling, he’ll be cool about it. but you’ll probably have to compromise and give him something, like his hand holding yours or your head resting against his chest.

- your presence is enough, he just likes to feel you’re there before falling asleep.

- he’s huge on emotional intimacy.

- after a long day, and he gets to just unwind with you, and maybe a glass of wine every once in a while is like heaven to him.

- the type to set up a nice bubble bath with candles and stuff, just so you two can sit and catch up.

- “hm? no, my day was fine. much better now.”

- i’m just saying, harvey, with his hair slightly damp, glasses low on the bridge of his nose, head tilted to the side while listening to you intently, and his body all covered in bubbles. he’s so…

- fuck i love him.

sam.

- a thinner happy trail, but still goes up to his belly button.

- it’s like a slightly darker patch of blonde hair.

- he doesn’t really have to groom it or anything, but he does make sure it’s fairly neat every once in a while.

- he honestly doesn’t really dwell on it though. it’s just there, and since you’ve expressed interest in it, he’s more then happy to leave it.

- i feel like he could grow facial hair, but it always comes in super patchy and thin, so he just shaves it off.

- he honestly prefers it that way too. it just doesn’t look good on him.

- boxer shorts 🤭🤭🤭

- those baggy, plaid shorts that look so fucking good, especially when he wears them low on his waist.

- that’s all he wears to bed lol.

- CUDDLER!!!!!!

- spooning with him is so cute, swear.

- probably bc he wants to strictly be little spoon.

- even if you’re significantly shorter then him, he loves feeling like you’re his little backpack.

- i almost wanna say he moves around a lot in his sleep. it’s really interesting to wake up and see where he’s laying.

- like, he can go to bed with his whole body tucked under the covers, head on the pillow and feet at the end—but he’ll wake up with his limbs hanging off the end and entirely upside down above the covers.

- all of that but somehow he knows not to touch you, so it’s like a little surprise every time you both wake up.

- he absolutely loves pda.

- not an inappropriate amount, but there’s no way he can go even an hour without kissing you somehow when you’re together.

- holding your hand when you’re standing together, leaning over to give you a kiss on the cheek just cus.

- he loves going 1 on 1 with you during pool, but mainly because he just loves how sassy you get when you’re winning.

- or, whenever he’s playing against sebastian and he has you by his side cheering him on.

- he feels on top of the world.

- he’s so in love with you, swear.

shane.

- 😵‍💫

- he’s got what i’d like to say is a dad bod.

- round tummy, large arms, broad shoulders. he’s attractive in a realistic sense, and he may not be incredibly confident, but your attraction to his physique makes him a lot more self assured.

- especially when your eyes wander a little when he takes off his shirt, and he can mask his flattery with a teasing comment.

- “wanna take a picture?” so smugly, just so he can see your lips purse and you immediately look away.

- *sweats* h-happy trail….

- it’s thick; and dark, and not necessarily groomed, it just kinda grows one way & he doesn’t really touch it.

- literally 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

- not to mention he also definitely has chest hair, but not enough that it’s disgusting, y’know?

- and he has facial hair.

- just subtle scruff all around his chin and jaw, mainly because he couldn’t care enough to shave but also bc he knows you like it.

- that’s about all he can grow, anyways.

- it’s extremely (and i mean EXTREMELY) rare he’d shave, but on the occasion he does…

- tease him about it.

- loves when you rub your fingers against his cheeks, especially when you’re sitting in his lap just like, “it’s so soft, you look prepubescent.”

- he doesn’t, not in the slightest, but it’s still funny to see him swat your hand away and his face gets all red.

- after u got married and he got better with his addiction, i’d like to think he became much help on the farm.

- you need trees chopped? he’s ur guy.

- clean the chicken coop? obviously.

- maybe even sometimes if you’re not feeling good, you can bet he does everything you need for you.

- so his body definitely builds from that, but don’t fear! he’s still got his chub.🫡

- he sleeps in boxer shorts also.

- that or some pants, but never a shirt.

- if he’s wearing a shirt in bed, something’s seriously wrong with him. that, or it’s like the dead of winter (but even then it’s so rare.)

- this dude is like a FURNACE at night. he’s literally radiating heat just by laying there.

- and he’s not an initial cuddler.

- he loves you, but he likes his space getting ready to fall asleep.

- but i can promise you, somehow during the night he’ll end up wrapped around you entirely, squeezing u and practically lighting you on fire w his body heat.

- it’s endearing, tho.

- no matter how much he says he hates cuddling, he still ends up like that somehow (so who’s to say he really hates it?)

sebastian.

- 🤭🤭🤭

- lean build, pretty skinny.

- super pale too, and i’d like to think he has a ton of random freckles spotting across his body.

- not very many on his face cus he doesn’t get much sun (lol) but yeah, little moles here and there.

- his skin is also super smooth all the time for some reason.

- he’s not weak by any means, lowkey sleeper build except nothing really comes out when he uses his muscles LMFAO.

- like, if you give him a bunch of logs to carry that are really heavy, you expect him to only grab a few, not the whole bunch.

- and he can carry it effortlessly. it’s easy to forget he’s genuinely strong.

- but anyways, he doesn’t have chest hair or a happy trail.

- no facial hair, either. literally none. he’s just never been able to grow it, and he’s actually totally fine with that lol.

- his pubic hair is so well groomed, and that isn’t even by cause. his hair just naturally looks like that.

- a small dark patch around his shaft, fairly short but still just utterly average.

- if he whipped his dick out, you wouldn’t be shocked or anything.

- he strictly wears pj pants to bed, no shirt.

- he has veryyy subtle definition in his abs, so subtle you’d have to squint to see it.

- and he’s the kind of guy that (if he wanted to) no matter how hard he tried to get bulkier, it just wouldn’t work.

- he’s just genetically a pretty lanky guy, and while growing up he was embarrassed by it, right now he couldn’t care less.

- he’s grown to be more confident in himself after being with you.

- this man loves being praised, and when you reassure him he’s the ideal man for you.

- “you look so handsome today. did you do something with your hair?” hearing that first thing in the morning, when he didn’t even do anything & he actually doesn’t feel super attractive at the moment: yeah he’ll be thinking about that for weeks.

- it makes him feel so good whenever you randomly shoot one-liners that’ll catch him off guard like that.

- like in passing during a busy day, you’re just coming up to check on him for a couple minutes and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

- “you make it so hard for me to stay on task all day.” you sigh, grinning when he clearly gets all flustered.

- and he may not be as bold as you, but he has his moments.

- “mm, what if you just stayed in bed with me today?” “wish you’d stop pulling away whenever you feel gross, y’know it doesn’t bother me.” 👀👀

- this probably doesn’t need to be said, but i’m gonna say it anyways,

- he doesn’t like pda. the most he’ll do is hold your hand if you’re in public together, maybe kiss you on the cheek if he’s feels particularly affectionate / protective every now and then.

- he likes to keep his relationship private, it makes you feel a little more special to him.

- like, he loves the fact that only he gets to see you in specific ways.

- such as just being together on sappy evenings, softly mumbling things you love about each other while being in his arms. things like that.

- cus for him, if he does stuff like that in public, well for starters he’ll get uncomfortable. he’s too introverted for stuff like that.

- but really, it just means anyone can look over and see what you both look like when you’re all vulnerable with eachother, and to him he’d much rather keep that private.

- now, that being said…this man is so clingy lol.

- if you both are having an indoor day, and he’s working on the computer, while you’re just sorting through stuff inside, he’ll want to be near you.

- you’re at the stove? he’s at the kitchen table.

- you’re in the living room? he’s on the couch.

- you’re brushing your teeth? so is he.

- it can be dead silent between you two, just as long as you’re nearby, he’s happy.

alex.

- he’s one of the guys with a more toned physique.

- he’s got some pretty nice arms, can i just say.

- they’re toned, grow larger when he flexes, even resting they look pretty nice.

- and his abs too, they’re not crazy, but they’re definitely there.

- a nice definition you can see even when he’s not flexing. there’s at least four there.

- as for facial hair, he has none.

- i feel like if he could grow some, he’d definitely leave it. it’d make him feel more “manly.”

- but he just doesn’t LMFAO.

- now, non-facial hair is a different story👀

- he’s got a happy trail folks!!!

- it’s a dark, thick patch of brown hair that trails (once again) all the way up to his belly button.

- and it’s so fucking hot.

- it might be the prettiest (next to harvey’s, ofc.)

- believe it or not, he’s actually pretty neat with it.

- he takes pride in being attractive! ofc he’s going to groom it.

- trims it whenever it gets untamed, but never shaves it off. he loves it, and he knows you do too.

- he’s also a boxer briefs guy. 99% of the time, he’s walking around wearing only his boxer briefs in the house.

- especially whenever it’s an indoor day, yeah, he’s not even bothering getting dressed at all😭😭

- that’s all he sleeps in. even if it’s the middle of winter.

- another pda fan.

- but this time, dare i say…he’s a little more bold.

- he’ll kiss you like he does when you’re private, even if there’s people around.

- cupping your cheek, pulling you in for likely more then 5 seconds sometimes.

- he’ll hold onto your waist when you’re standing together. he’ll stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you, even.

- and well, yes there’s empty seats all around you, but that’s too bad. cus he’s pulling you into sitting in his lap.

- he loves knowing everyone’s jealous of him.

- you’re so attractive, he knows all the other men look at you thinking the same thing.

- and he just loves how he’s got a rock on your finger that’s similar to his. he loves the fact that you said yes to him, not to anyone else who would’ve asked.

- so he loves showing you off.

- he’s got such a high libido, so he’s fairly sexual all the time.

- rolling over to kiss you after fucking you for literal hours, and even just the sight of you lying there, trying to catch your breath has him ready to go again.

- he’s one to grope you (consensually!)

- like, if ur walking by him, he’ll grab your ass and shoot you a grin like nothing even happened.

- but he knows when to be more serious, like if you had bad day and you just need a good cry.

- i’d like to think he’s really good at comforting people.

- he was there for his mom whenever his dad was treating them horribly, and he definitely helped her through a few tears, so he’s perfect at just holding you.

- he’s genuinely a sweetheart. yes he’s cocky, and flirty, but when it comes to people he loves: he’s so perfect.

elliot.

- *cracks knuckles*

- he can grow facial hair, but he normally goes without it.

- it comes in thick, but it won’t grow past any stubble (or at least he doesn’t let it before shaving it all off.)

- but omfg…his facial hair looks so nice when he lets it grow for a bit.

- especially when he kisses you, or lets you cup your hands around his jaw during that phase.

- he’s another one that loves to feel your fingers rake through his hair when you’re just commenting on how handsome he looks with it.

- despite how attractive it is, he still prefers it gone. so it’s rare when he lets it get to that point.

- his has a very subtle happy trail. it’s mostly just a patch of hair that peeks above his waistline, and it doesn’t go all the way up to his belly button,

- but it’s still as handsome as ever.

- his sleepwear is literally silk. stg.

- he’s so extra.

- he probably even got you a matching pair with your initials engraved “just cus.”

- but when he isn’t wearing all of that, he’s probably just wearing some regular pj pants and a shirt.

- it’s rare tho, cus like i said—he’s so extra.

- something so casual, but so attractive that he does is when he’s super exhausted with writing for so long, that he just leans back in his chair and sighs.

- like…he throws his arms over his head, manspreads just a little and sighs.

- or or or

- after you’ve had such a long and exhausting day, he’s quick to place his pencil down and open his arms to slot you on his lap.

- “tell me what’s the matter, my love. want me to make you some tea, get you some water?”

- and while you’re talking, he’s just gently rubbing your thigh and kissing your arms softly.

- he’s just so gracious and endearing.

- this man 😮‍💨😮‍💨

#ੈ✩‧₊˚ headcanons #i swear i’m not trying to ghost y’all i’ve just been so busy #stardew valley hcs #sdv bachelors #sdv bachelor hcs #sdv harvey x farmer #harvey x farmer #sdv harvey x reader #sdv harvey #sdv sam x reader #sdv sam x farmer #sdv sam #sam x farmer #sdv shane x farmer #sdv shane x reader #sdv shane #shane x farmer #sdv sebastian x reader #sdv sebastian x farmer #sdv sebastian #sebastian x farmer #sdv alex x farmer #sdv alex x reader #sdv alex #alex x farmer #sdv elliot x reader #sdv elliot x farmer #sdv elliott #elliot x farmer

[dvrk-moon]

ENHYPEN OT7 ; 엔하이픈

PLAYING MINECRAFT WITH THEM

requested : no

genre : crack, fluff

pairing : enhypen x reader (can be platonic)

warnings : cursing + the members being menaces

heeseung ; 희승

absolute sweat

like speed runner esque

nags on you for being too slow and making him have a speed run time of over fifteen minutes

like you’re barely getting an oak log and he’s already in the nether. like u turn away for two seconds and he’s already built the portal

“heeseung where did you go” “i’ve almost killed the wither wait” … “CAN U CHILL OUT WE JUST CREATED THIS WORLD”

so u thought u were gonna have fun hanging out with heeseung on minecraft? NO

because as soon as he finishes his speed run and you finally got your first diamond, he’s decided to build a base

and u thought he was gonna be all cute and make u a room awwww!!! no.

he does make u a room, but the stairway up to ur room is a parkour course

(when the fuck did he have time to even make that?!!?!!)

first and last time playing minecraft with him

jay ; 제이

absolute knight in shining armor

literally

those mobs have nothing on his iron drip

protects u even if u don’t need it

“oh shit there’s a creeper” “ON MY WAY Y/N”

his netherite sword is CRACKED. like perfect enchantments

when he’s not protecting u he becomes ur farmer

the farm is so organized and beautiful jay is literally my husband pls

does in fact laugh when u die tho

like he’ll collect your stuff for you but the second he sees “[your gamertag] fell from a high place” he’s going to laugh for like two minutes straight

also he keeps an extra chest in his room for u

like in case u need something OR u die and he’s not able to collect ur stuff so it despawns

jay is so husband. even in minecraft

jake ; 제이크

he’s played before ok (trust him)

(it was when he was like nine)

like he’s very very. bad

he’s trying tho!!!

keeps dying. like every two minutes you see “jake_awesome2002 was blown up by a creeper”

he does not know how to change his gamertag so ur just stuck playing with jake_awesome2002

he starts getting the hang of it and immediately thinks he’s cracked at the game (he’s not)

so he disappears from you out of nowhere and so you try to help him :

“jake where are you” … “jake” … “jake sim where the fuck are you” …………. “i don’t know”

(cue “jake_awesome2002 fell out of the world”)

“JAKE HOW DID YOU FALL OUT OF THE WORLD” “I DONT KNOW”

he respawns and like sulks for three minutes before leaving and collecting dirt(?) for some reason

coincidentally you keep finding dirt blocks placed throughout your base afterwards! how silly of him!

sunghoon ; 성훈

he was so ready to show u how good he is

he’s not very good. but at least he’s better than jake!

he somehow is always in a cave or some sort of dangerous location

like say u found a village and you’re like “sunghoon come raid this village with me!”

meanwhile he’s trying not to die because of a pillager outpost

somehow he doesn’t?

he’ll go and do stuff like that or spend days in the nether and survive but his weakness is witches

like he doesn’t scream UNLESS there is a witch

and if you’re nearby ? he will 100% sacrifice you to the witch so that he can survive

womp womp

he actually sacrifices you quite a bit because he has like 36 levels

he thinks he’s funny when he does it too

sunoo ; 선우

honestly prefers to play in creative mode (me too sunoo)

but when you were like “let’s play in survival for once” he’s like “fiiiiiiiiinneeeeeuhhhh” (very dramatic about it)

he immediately builds a forever base when you spawn in

makes you do all the mining and stuff

he will tag along! but he won’t do shit

he’s the interior designer. he’s got bigger and better things to do

he only redeems himself when you go into the base and find your minecraft beds right next to each other

besides holding the house down, he also has an extremely high scale and successful farming system

so if you ever check in his chests, 100% you will find like 20 stacks of wood, stacks of wheat, of carrots, of beets, etc.

may be a homebody in minecraft but at least he’s fun to play with !!!! 10/10 would recommend to a friend

jungwon ; 정원

the miner

like you’re trying to get along with your day until jungwon stops and drops into the smallest cave ever

“what are u doing” “wait y/n we might need this copper” “jungwon don’t u already have like three stacks of copper” “yeah but we might need it”

lots of time spent mining

u eat your words tho when he is decked out in diamond armor from almost the get-go

when you guys build a base it HAS to have a little mine under the house (little as in huge)

somehow has like ten dogs?

“this one is maeumi, this one is maeumi’s friend, this once can be gaeul… maybe this one can be layla? oh! and this one is maeumi’s other friend. this one is bisco. this one is yours but you don’t get to name it. i will name it for you.”

they would be cats if it was really up to you but you’ll live

also refuses to elaborate on this thing he does

he makes tons and tons of signs and just places them around the base

some of them make sense and others just don’t at all

has a 2x2 fenced in area and the sign outside of it says “jail”

has anyone ever been sent to jail there? no. but as jungwon says “just in case”

riki ; 니키

possibly the worst yet most fun person to play with

at first you’re like “let’s play together” and he’s like “yeah sure whatever” but little do u know he has every plan in the world to turn the game into warfare

it’s even worse if you are playing on a realm rather than just a server

he abandons you from the get-go and immediately runs away and you can’t catch him so he builds a base far away from you

the base is in fact a dirt house

but it’s minecraft who said he had to be an architect

yes he abandoned you and is regularly attacking you at any given chance but he still keeps his tabs on where you are

walks all over your farm and kills your livestock

leaves signs saying “riki was here” “get rikrolled”

since he keeps tabs on you, u have to be very cautious of what you leave in your chests

he will steal anything. just for fun

threatens to blow up everything because he just wants to

little does he know if he wants warfare ur gonna give him warfare

a/n : this is random but i played mc like two days ago and i thought this could be a silly idea

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x y/n #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfics #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x you #enhypen headcanons #enhypen crack #enhypen fluff #heeseung #heeseung x reader #enhypen jay #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jake #enhypen jake x reader #sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunoo #sunoo x reader #jungwon #jungwon x reader #ni ki #ni ki x reader #dvrk moon

[foreingersgod]

Can you write a CC x country reader that has a heavy accent, like Texas or smth and how it makes people react to it?

this is such a cute idea, i decided to put my own little twist on it so i hope you like it!

Texas Twang . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: you were born and raised on a texas farm, eventually moving away for college where you met caitlin. here’s a list of 5 times she’s fallen in love with you and your accent

A/N: #5 is a wee bit spicy (trying to feed ya’ll as per request) so please skip it if you’re uncomfortable with that!

also i got these sayings off of google cause i dont know any texas slang or how to convey the reader having an accent so sorry if they’re literally not real 😭

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

1. when you first met

you were panicked, running around your small room trying to find your stupid fucking phone. you were already running 5 minutes behind, the clock on the wall told you, but you wouldn’t be able to find your first class of the morning regardless if you didn’t find your phone. checking under your heap of blankets, in the drawers of your desk, and even in your laundry basket, you found nothing.

then, after throwing every book out of your backpack as a last resort, you saw it laying below discarded orientation papers and sticky notes. with a sigh of relief, you snatched your phone and sprinted out of your building.

you were running at full speed, which was a little embarrassing considering every one else on campus was just walking normally. but you were extremely behind and would be so mad if you were late to your first class at this school. so you continued to weave through people. you dodged campaigners, sped through large groups on the lawns, probably knocking down a few people in the process.

your sprinting seemed to pay off when you noticed the building up ahead. you glanced at the time, seeing you still had a few minutes to make it if you really hurried. your legs ached as you continued to speed walk past bypassers.

then, without notice, you ran right into someone passing by. the force of your impact causing the both of you to fall to the ground in the middle of the quad. if you weren’t late already, you surely would have been now.

“shit” you heard the other person cuss under their breath. you looked up, still planted on the ground, to the person in front of you.

she was an insanely attractive woman. lean, about 6 foot, muscular, just your type you might add. she was pushing herself off of the concrete side walk, brushing the gravel from her pants. you followed suit, standing up then apologizing profusely for running into her.

“oh my hell, i’m so sorry” you exclaimed “i was goin’ way too fast, i apologize”

she gave you a crooked smile, shaking her head.

“no you’re ok, it happens, i should’ve been paying attention”

“no, really ‘s my bad”

her face twisted ever so slightly as you talked “you’re not from around here are you?” she blurted “sorry, that’s completely irrelevant, i just noticed the accent”

you laughed, this wasn’t the first time someone was confused by the heaviness of your accent “it’s fine, i don’t mind. yea, no i’m from a small town in texas, i moved up here for college recently”

“oh really? that’s cool” she smiled, extending her hand to you “well, i’m caitlin by the way”

“i’m YN” you returned her handshake “ ‘s so nice to meet you, but i’m runnin’ late for class”

“wait” she stopped you before you ran past her “do you think i could grab your number, maybe i could take you out sometime?”

you were all smiles “i’d like that, i’d like that very much”

2. your first argument

you don’t even know how it started. all you knew is that some girl was getting flirty at the bar and, according to your girlfriend, you were letting her seduce you. this was obviously not true. you and caitlin hadn’t been dating that long, but it has going really well and she’s incredibly important to you. important enough that you wouldn’t just be flirting with other women at the bar.

nonetheless, you were being dragged out of the bar. caitlin was oozing jealousy as you headed back to your place for the night.

“she was all over you, YN” caitlin sneered, following you into your apartment and slamming the door.

“oh my god, she wasn’t!” you rolled your eyes “good lord, arguing with you ‘s like tryna piss up a god damn rope”

“what?”

“what do you mean what?” your accent was thick, rolling off your tongue.

“what the hell does ‘pissing up a rope’ mean?” she looked at you confused, dropping the girl from the bar entirely.

you looked at her equally confused “you don’t say that here?”

“uh no, i think that’s a you thing” she said “your texas slang is distracting me and it’s making it very hard to be mad at you right now”

you chuckled, kissing her cheek “ ‘s just my southern charm, baby”

3. when you sing in the car

caitlin hated country music for the most part. but when you came along, you made it your duty to get her to enjoy it at least a little bit. she had never been subjected to small farm country music and to you, that was a sin.

so you’d play it for her on occasion, if she let you. and surprisingly it was pretty often. she would never tell you, but she only put up with country music just to hear you sing it. she was completely mesmerized by the way your accent mixed with the tune of the songs.

one day you were in the car together, on the way home from a get together with friends. it was a warm summer evening, sun on the brink of setting causing the sky to glow shades of orange and pink. cait was driving, per usual, you being her honorary passenger princess. she rolled down all the windows for you (even the sunroof) just how you liked it. you loved feeling the hot summer breeze blow through your hair with the radio turned all the way up.

“you follow me, and lead me on..” you hummed lightly, ‘all your’n by tyler childers sounding through the car radio.

she snuck glances at you as she drove down the empty street, watching how you let your arms hang out with window and let the wind fan over your face.

“so ill love you till my lungs give out” you closed your eyes, lost in the moment “i ain’t lying’”

caitlin so desperately wanted to pull over and listen to you sing all night long. your voice was like a gift from the gods. the way your accent slurred with each word had her melting in the drivers seat.

“i’m all your’n” you looked over to caitlin, smiling “ ‘n you’re all mine”

she smiled back, reaching across the console and resting her hand on your thigh.

she let you play your music the rest of the way home, just wanting to listen to you sing for a little bit longer.

4. when you met her family

you had waited months to meet caitlin’s family. no really, families were your thing. growing up in texas, it was common to be in or surrounded by a big family. and you knew big families more than anyone else, having 9 siblings, you being the middle child. it was a setting you thrived it and you tended to get along with people pretty well.

caitlin was hesitant to introduce you, she was freshly out of the closet and had never brought a girl home before. but this thanksgiving, she thought it was the perfect time to introduce you.

“so, YN” caitlin’s mother asked from across the table. “i’m sure you’re not used to such a small family, caitlin told me you come from quite the family tree?”

caitlin’s hand found your knee under the table, squeezing it lightly for comfort.

“oh yea,” you chuckled “my mama had a whole litter with 9 ‘a us. it was always crazy around the house, with 5 brothers n 3 sisters. and my daddy wasn’t around to help out off’n, but that’s a whole ‘nutter can a worms”

the way her family reacted to your voice made caitlin laugh under her breath, watching how they slowly dissected your sentence trying to make out the words from beneath the accent. she thought it was cute, lucky to have such a unique and special girl.

even the way you interacted with her younger cousins had her fawning over you, you were just so sweet and gentle.

“hiya, sweetie” you smiled as caitlin’s baby cousin accidentally fell into you “took a bit of a spill there didn’t ‘cha?”

you were the perfect picture of a warm welcome, full of beauty and grace and kindness. caitlin knew, from this moment, you’d be in her life forever.

SPICE AHEAD

5. during sex

she’d be lying if she said that damned accent didn’t get her riled up. because truly, it had her wet the second you started talking.

when she would have you pressed up against the wall, one leg wrapped around her torso as she kissed down your collarbone and onto your cleavage. the way you would moan “oh darlin’” oh so sweetly in her ear had her going crazy.

the rare instances in which you would take the lead in bed, watching as you crawled atop of her, stripping her bare. how you would hook your fingers under her underwear, tugging them down her long and toned legs. she was already bucking her hips into nothing. then you’d fasten your arms under her thighs, pulling them apart to place delicate kisses along the insides of her legs.

you’d tease her a bit more before dropping your head low, hot breath fanning against her glistening cunt. she bit her lip, trying to suppress moans of pleasure, and you had hardly touched her yet. you took your time with her, tongue dragging deliciously against her, savoring the taste.

“well you’re just sweeter than cherry pie, aren’t ‘cha baby” you’d praise, having her arching under your touch. with that, she couldn’t hold her moans any longer, completely coming undone as you continued to treasure every inch of her body.

you were going to be the death of her. 

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/N: alright guys i tried to make it a little spicier, so feedback is much appreciated cause i honestly feel like it sucked lol

#caitlin clark x reader #wcbb #caitlin clark #wcbb x reader #iowa wbb

[loganbcrnes]

Captain Syverson & August Walker in the viking era (part 1?)

ok i just love a good old viking headcanon. I cannot stop imagining a bunch of my favourite characters in the viking era, totally feral and just fucking all the time sjdjsjd.

Henrys characters fit perfect for this era with their gruff beefy look. also this turned out kinda soft??? anyways enjoy!!

might do a part 2 if anyone is interested, just let me know! readers body type and ethnicity isnt described.

No warning, but mentions of smut, everything is consensual even though it may not seem it lol.

Captain Syverson

Sy grew up on a farm with his mother and father. he'd definitely be of Norwegian heritage. a farm boy at heart, grew up to be a fierce warrior after his parents were killed. Everyone feared The Captain, rumors spread like wildfire, to the point people thought he was sent from the Gods, or that he was a warrior god himself. he'd sail the seas around the world raiding, pillaging and trading. but deep down he was a romantic at heart and a traditional man. He longed for devoted love, a love he saw in his parents. He waited for a long time before he would finally meet you. because deep down, he wanted to go back to the farm, live a peaceful life as a husband to his wife and a father to his children.

eventually he would meet you, a woman who was taken from her home to be a slave to a king in Sweden. As he was pillaging the town to kill the king, he saw you in a farm house, a man was trying to assault you. Sy struck his sword through the man and he fell to the ground. You was wearing a light blue long-sleeved top with a brown skirt, but oh you were so beautiful. It was love at first sight even when the reader punched Sy in the face and ran away from the town into the forest. Sy knew from there that the reader was to be his wife.

Half the time Sy was feral, it was the only thing that could get him through the raids. He could let his inner beast come through. A couple of days later, trying to find you, he saw you washing yourself by a waterfall. He hid behind a big rock so he could watch you. He watched as you were drying your hair off, your body sun-kissed by the summer sun. He felt his cock harden as he looked your ass and breasts, so plumb and his for the taking.

As he came into view, you gasped as you saw him. He looked at you up and down, taking in your nakedness. Your breasts hardened at the cool wind blowing, but also because of the giant man staring at you. Your pussy on display, he wanted to taste you so bad.

Before you know it he has you pinned down, you let out a startled scream as he nuzzled his face into your neck, smelling your sweet scent. You knew this was wrong, you did not know this man, but something about it felt good. He was huge, while his hands were rough, touching you everywhere, even your most private areas which you blushed and looked away. His touch was still soft.

"W-what do you want from me?" You asked, unsure what to do. "Need you" Sy mumbled into your neck. "Please" You hear him whisper. Next thing you know you are being pounded into the dirt. You moan and scream to the point you are afraid someone will hear, his balls slap against your ass with each thrust. His broad thick hairy body wraps around your body. His pubic hair rubbing against your clit. You were so aroused that it didn't even hurt when he slid in, taking your virginity and filling you up with his seed. Oh there was a lot of seed, to the point you thought this was unusual. But you did not care, you were so far gone and the sexiest man was above you fucking and breeding you to the halt.

August Walker

August Walker, known as the king of Denmark to the people, was a Noble and commanding king, but harsh and silent. He was dominating, successfully winning every raid and war. other kings and queens were afraid of him. no one dared to disobey him. Many wandered if this man was even capable of love, because all they saw was a murderous man who got what he wanted every time.

He grew up with a cruel father, who would beat him and his mother after coming home drunk every night. After he killed his own father, August looked after his mother when she grew sick. Ever since her death he has always been alone.

Until one day.

In the middle of a raid, August all bloodied from the killing, saw a woman fighting off men as young girls and boys were standing behind her terrified. The woman was striking, and fierce. Never holding down even though he could see the exhaustion on your face and body. Oh your body. He could not see your curves due to the armor, but he knew you were beautiful, that made his cock harden.

after a successful raid, sitting at the high table in front of his warriors and civilians alike, they celebrated. you face appeared and he couldn't take his eyes off of you. Never has he felt this way before, he couldn't quite put his finger on what he was feeling, lust?, romance? maybe both? who knows. Only thing he knew certain off was that he wanted you in his bed that night. Upon meeting him, you were stubborn. You heard the rumors about this man. He fucked anything that moved and he killed anyone that pissed him off. Your attitude shocked him as no one treated him in such a manner, but it just made him want you more. You both did not leave the bedroom for 3 days. August lay awake as you cuddled him from the side. He looked at you, thinking of a life he could have with you, but for the type of man he is, he did not think he deserved such a life. But over time you proved him otherwise, with your stubborn nature, you brought four daughters and a son to the world who were equally stubborn. Now he cannot picture a life without the six of you. promising himself he will be a better father than what his own father was.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fanfiction #captain syverson #alpha captain syverson #captain syverson smut #captain syverson fanfiction #captain syverson x reader #captain syverson x female reader #august walker x you #august walker fanfiction #august walker smut #august walker x reader #august walker #mi5 #sand castle #walter marshall #clark kent #sherlock holmes

[boxboxlewis]

fake dating, maxiel

Daniel picks Max up at the airport. He seems a little distracted, although he’s friendly enough to the clouds of gnat-people who buzz around asking them for selfies, for autographs. In the car he turns the entertainment system up loud and drums his fingers on the steering wheel as he drives, staring straight out at the horizon.

Max’s first thought is that Daniel is regretting having invited him to Perth. But then he imagines his therapist raising her eyebrows at him, and ok, yeah: there are other possibilities. Maybe something bad is happening in Daniel’s personal life. Maybe someone in his family is sick.

“How is your sister,” Max asks.

Daniel glances at him, and turns the stereo down. “My—you mean Michelle?"

Max reminds himself to be patient. “Daniel. You do not have any other sisters.” 

It’s hard, trying to read Daniel’s face from the side. His mouth twists and then smooths out again. Max doesn’t know what that means. 

“Michelle is great,” Daniel says finally. 

“Ok,” Max says. “Your parents? They are ok also?”

Daniel frowns, now. “Max, what the fuck. Is this like—a weird pass-agg way of saying I should’ve asked about your family?”

Max gives his imaginary therapist an imaginary middle finger. See, this is where you’ve got me. He says, “You are being weird, and I thought maybe—maybe you didn’t actually want me to be here. Sometimes, people invite you to things but they do not actually want you to say yes, it is just a, a polite thing, and you are supposed to say Oh thanks so much and then not do it.” 

Daniel starts to say something, but Max isn’t finished. He powers on. “But then I thought—my therapist says it is not healthy, to think people are upset at me always if they are upset. Because maybe, it is something else. So I thought, maybe your family. There was something. Maybe one of them was sick. So I asked you.”

Daniel blows out a long breath. The windows are down and the air smells spicy and warm, like recent rain. “All right,” he says, “yeah, it’s—I am being weird, but it’s not—everyone in my family is fine. And I definitely want you to be here.” He shoots a look at Max, like he wants to check if Max believes him. “It’s just—I did something kind of dumb, and I think maybe you’re going to be mad about it. And like, if you are, that’s fair, because, uh. I mean, I can—I’ll get it, if you want to just leave.”

Max says, “If you did it, I am sure it is not that dumb,” and Daniel closes his eyes for a second.

“Ok, well, remember you said that when you’ve heard what I’m about to say, ok? So like. My cousin is getting married, next weekend.”

“Oh, you’re right. That is dumb as fuck,” Max says flatly, and then cracks up when Daniel scowls at him. “What, come on! What is so dumb about your cousin getting married.”

Daniel squeezes his hands on the steering wheel, then relaxes them. Squeezes them, relaxes them. “Yeah, no, that part’s ok. Uh, so I like—I told my cousin I would go.”

“Daniel, that is fine,” Max says. “I can just stay at the farm, I can entertain myself for one day.”

“I-told-her-I’m-bringing-a-date,” Daniel says, words all running together. It takes Max’s mind a second to catch up. “I told her—basically, like, I told her I was in a long-term relationship and I would bring my boyfriend to the wedding. And I, uh, I said you’re the boyfriend. So. My whole family thinks we’re dating and we’re really serious about each other.”

Max contemplates the landscape for a while. The sky is huge and cloudless. It looks like you could float up into it, if you wanted to: bob around on a nice thermal, like some sort of raptor.

“Uh. Max?”

“I am thinking,” Max lies. In fact he’s not having any thoughts at all. He is imagining being a hawk. If he starts thinking about what Daniel said, he’s going to explode into a mass of a thousand squirming questions. Such as, Your family think you’re gay? Are they ok with it? Are they right? Have you dated guys before? What were they like? What were you like, when you were with them? Why did you lie? Why did you pick me? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Could you tell that I wanted to kiss you always when I was younger—

“Max, listen, I’m really sorry, I know this is messed up.”

“No,” Max says, “it’s not—I have a lot of questions, that is all, but I am not… upset.”

“Ok, well, that’s good.” Daniel scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. 

“We can go to the wedding,” Max says, deciding it as he says it. “I don’t think it will be such a big deal, to pretend we are together for one day.”

Daniel lets out a wheezing sound like he’s just been punched in the stomach. “Ah—ok. Yeah. Great.”

“Of course we are good friends, so it will not be so different. Except that probably we will have to hold hands,” he adds, half-joking. 

Daniel nods, and then flicks a glance at Max and says, “Handholding, huh? Fuck, if I’d thought that far ahead I would never have suggested this.” Max punches him in the arm. They’re joking, just like normal. It’s all fine. It’s all ok.

Daniel says, “We’ll probably have to like, dance together also. It would be weird if we were at the wedding and didn’t dance.”

Max never dances at weddings. He says, “Ok, we can—I mean, I cannot dance, but I can stick my arms out and sway.” He demonstrates, there in the passenger seat of Daniel’s car, and Daniel looks at him and laughs.

“There’s one other thing,” Daniel says, and Max braces himself: what will it be this time. Max, I told everyone we adopted a child together. Max, this whole thing was a prank for my public Instagram, someone is hiding in the back seat and filming us. Max, I’m just joking, this is all a joke.

What Daniel actually says is “It’s not like, a destination wedding, but it’s a couple of hours away and uh. Because, you know, we’re a couple. Or I mean, we’re not, but like everyone thinks we are, so. We’ll have to like, share a bed or whatever.”

“Oh,” says Max, relaxing abruptly. “Daniel, that will of course be fine. I do not mind touching you.”

Daniel breaks into a coughing fit. When he’s finished he clears his throat and says, “Oh—ok. Yeah, great.”

Max turns the music back up, and looks out at the sky. It will be nice, he thinks: pretending to be Daniel’s, for a day.

#maxiel #FAKE DATING! #featuring max interiority my beloved #my fic #mv33 #dr3

[rickydoodahgrimez]

flirty girl || rick grimes x flirty!reader

summary: rick falling in love with a flirty reader headcanons :)

ok, so first yeah, you two meet at the farm

you see him for the first time and you think ‘damn he's fine’ but when is he not fine

then you see him sitting on the porch of the house and you decided to up to him to talk and stuff

ten minutes past by and you guys are laughing like your fucking best friends that has known each other for years

you decided to throw in some flirty comments here and there, like a friendly joke and you know what this man does? HE STARTS BLUSHING

so, next thing you know, every single time rick comes up to you, BOOM flirty joke. he asks you what you're having for dinner? BOOM flirty joke. he asks you to help him out with walkers? BOOM, flirty joke

it's getting to the point is that your new life goal is to flirt with this man

OK so fast forward to the prison

just because you flirt with rick doesn't mean you don't love lori and carl??

like bitch, you call her baby inside her stomach nugget?? you're obsessed with her and just because of rick, doesn't mean you don't flirt with her too ;)

since you're basically around rick all the time, that means you see carl a lot too

AND HE IS THE CUTEST ON GOD

bro, you're basically this guy's IDOL

every single time you go on a run, you always bring back magazines for carl and when you give it to him, this boy will give you the tightest hug of you LIFE

and rick's heart melts when he sees you with carl and he's like ‘catching feels?’

SPEAKING of rick, since lori finds amusement out of you flirting with rick, i feel like you flirting with rick has become more frequent

and sometimes rick comes back with a flirty comeback?? 😫

like, when did this bitch become so bold out of a sudden???

other than that, i feel like rick would be so. . ✨possessive✨

like let's say, you get yourself into tricky situations, you go — to? flirting.

and you know what rick is? jealous.

especially when merle is there and he flirts with you everyday and rick tells him to fuck off out of jealousy??

#FOLDING

unfortunately, all happy things come to an end 😔

when lori dies, rick confides in you with EVERYTHING because he just knows he can trust you

we don't talk about how lori dies before merle comes and i wrote it wrong

although, you're also grieving lori, you're there for rick 24/7

when you first see rick holding judith, that's when you knew you were in love with him

speaking of judith, that girl has you WRAPPED around her little finger

like every single time you walk past her, she coos and you always try to resist it, but you end up cuddling her anyways :3

you know the illness in season 4? yeah, unfortunately you have it (sorry pookie 😔)

and my bae rick is stressing

like, he be going on runs left, right and centre just to find something that can heal you

i mean everyone is because they can't lose their ball of sunshine (even daryl's stressing)

anyways, back to rick, he is snapping at everyone (except from carl) because he just can't lose you

fan behaviour if you ask me 🤷‍♀️

now, time skip to where the g*verner comes

so basically, when the g*verner comes to the prison, my boy is SOO protective over you

he is keeping you behind him at ALL times

ESPECIALLY when the g*verner and his men starts shooting at them

TIME SKIP TO TERMINUS

so basically, when you escaped the prison, you were alone with only baby judith in your arms

and then soon (around two weeks later) you see carol and tyreese walk on a train track

you guys talk for a while and then you guys hear an explosion

carol and tyreese go to check it out and when they come back, they say that rick, carl, daryl and michonne are there

carol said she's gonna go bomb the place? and what do you do? YOU FUCKING JOIN HER BITCH-

anyways. . y'know when rick and daryl are on that rectangular thing, about to get their heads chopped off and they hear an explosion? 2 seconds later, boom your shooting everyone with a rifle

you escort all your friends out of the premises and once your outside, the tears finally start to fall out

rick engulfs you in some massive ass hug and you feel tears staining your shoulder

you feel someone hugging your waist and you see carl with tears in his eyes, holding tightly to your waist

rick removes his head from your shoulder and kisses your temple and if you wasn't holding onto rick you're sure your knees would have buckled

after you hug everyone else, you all start walking in a random direction and while you are walking with michonne, you and rick making love eyes at each other

i'm not bothered to introduce gabriel rn so let's skip to the CHURCH (ps. all you need to know is that rick was VERY protective of you, on your way to the church 😉)

i think we all know how protect he is when those pricks who ate bob's leg comes to the church

bro get's mad when the ‘leader’ mentions you, my guy was ready to shoot him in the head right there if it wasn't for daryl

anyways they're all at the barn where they have aaron hostage and when rick notices him looking at you?

FINISHED

like he's saying ‘keep your eyes off my girl’ and shit

but he does kinda feel bad when he finds out he's gay but not really at the same time

let's go to alexandria 😏

anyways, this is when the jealousy comes in

so one day, you are strolling to rick's house and you open it without knocking because why not, then you see a blonde woman giving rick a hair cut and flirting with him??

and in your head, you're like ‘bitch???’

OBVIOUSLY you have to step your game up but you keep seeing them together and you just give up

to the point where you're barely even around rick anymore and he starts to get pissy about it

flirting 😏

he keeps on talking to you but you're just giving bare dry answers cause fuck communication 🤪

it gets to the point where he's not even sleeping at night

you know when deanna throws a party for the group? yeah that's when the real shit happens

you arrive like a ✨diamond✨ and rick can't keep his eyes off of you

so you do what you to best

but instead of flirting with rick, you're flirting with deanna's son, spencer

rick's decided that's he's had enough and he DRAGS you out of the place and he does not give a fuck about the eyes watching him

but being the gentleman he is, he doesn't have your wrist in a tight grip 🥰

because of that, you break out of his grip easily

and after the crying, the love confession, first kiss, blah blah blah YOU GUYS ARE FINALLY TOGETHER

since you guys are together now, flirting EVERY SECOND, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY

rick = 200% more protective

since you two are together, I feel like carl would start to call you mum because he sees you as his and judith starts saying it as well 😭

perfect little family fr

even when you're old and wrinkly, you're still with rick ;)

as if that man could get rid of you

no negan today sorry, he decided to be a good person 👍

#rick grimes x gn! reader #rick grimes x reader #headcanons #flirty!reader #rick grimes headcanons

[nolita-fairytale]

Carmy as Your Baby Daddy | Social Media AU & Headcanon Series | part three

part two | masterlist | part four me and @carmensberzattos are back again with more carmy as your baby daddy thots. no fr, this is pretty much just a leaked and edited version of our dms. telling people & your second trimester. #teambreaktheinternet

telling everyone at the bear is the most heartwarming and fluffy thing. tina absolutely knew the whole time. "i knew it!" she brags smugly. "what do you mean you knew?!" you exclaim while carmy looks perplexed. "just a feeling," she shrugs in her most 'i'm always right' tone of voice. "food poisoning, my ass."

richie's reaction is unexpected. while you think he'll say something snarky or crass, he has a much more emotional reaction. he gets quiet for a long time, and neither you nor carmy are going to say anything about the tears welling in his eyes. it's not till later, as you're getting ready to go, that he pulls you aside. "thank you for changing his life," he says, and you think it's the most genuine you've ever seen him.

the second restaurant, sydney's restaurant, is open and up-and-running, so you have to make your way there next. while carmy is working that night, you head over to the new restaurant with a cake you made that says 'best auntie ever.' it takes her a minute to realize that you're telling her that you're pregnant, and she practically stops any pre-shift duties as she tackles you in a hug while yelling: "we're having a baby!? we're having a baby!!!"

telling sugar and pete goes exactly as expected. sugar is so excited that their baby boy will have a cousin close in age to grow up with. "don't cry, pete," you all groan. (@carmensberzattos and I have a headcanon about this headcanon that sugar had a boy and named him michael 😭 and of course she asked carmy if it was ok before staking claim over the name).

while your first trimester is ROUGH, the fog begins to clear as you enter your second trimester. as your hormones change, the morning sickness is quickly replaced by a high sex drive and carmy can't get enough. it's everything: your hair is thicker, the pregnancy boobs are incredible, there's a glow about you and you just can't keep your hands off of him. the fact that he knows that you're carrying his child drives him absolutely wild. he is more than happy to help out when you're begging him to fuck you morning, noon, and night.

however, carmy gets all kinds of flustered when anyone else but you catches wind of how much sex you've been having. one day he shows up late to the restaurant and richie is laughing his ass of. "what's up?" "nothin'. just that you're late because you're gettin' some, cousin." and carmy is blushing beet red all the way down to his toes as richie shakes his head and says, "men can never resist a pregnant woman, cousin. tiff was the same way."

he comes home and grumbles about the long day he's had since richie's been so unprofessional all damn day. "so he knows you're gettin' some. what's the big deal, bear?" you ask him. "the big deal is... richie doesn't know when to shut the fuck up!" he huffs. "i hate to break it to you, baby, but i doubt anyone thinks you knocked me up by way of immaculate conception," you laugh, cheekily while running a hand over your belly, and he's blushing again.

ok but why is wearing overalls (in general, but also) while pregnant such a vibe?! you have a pair for your gardening and farm work, but your overall and dress collection expands dramatically when you start showing because all you want to do is be comfy.

you get an insatiable craving for trashy chicken nuggets. mcdonald's, sonic, dino nuggets made in the air fryer (or even just in the microwave), you name it! marcus makes fun of you considering you're married to a james beard award winning chef and yet all you want is fried chicken. carmy begins making you your own nugget sauces because, while he can't flip the bear into a drive-thru fast food chain, he CAN make a mean buffalo sauce, a homemade ranch, or a fancy beet ketchup.

you want to give the baby something gender neutral that you can refer to them as, still undecided about whether or not you want to find out. it slips out one day while carmy is talking to your belly before bed (because of course pete told him that was something he should do) and you're both a freaking mess when carmy calls them baby bear for the first time.

speaking of pete, he sees fatherhood as another way to connect with carmy. it's sweet, but in classic pete fashion, he's a tries a little too hard. he's in love with being a father and is more than happy to lend carmy books, recruit him for a daddy & me bootcamp, and asking the both of you if you want to hold his baby michael every chance he gets. while sugar pretends that she hates it (she loves it) you're more than happy to leave carmy with pete for the day. sure, it's annoying, and sure pete's A LOT, but it really IS sweet.

sugar insists on throwing you a baby shower and pete offers to help the two of you find a bigger apartment since you'll need more room. you decide to strike while the iron is hot (aka while you have the energy to) and the two of you move to a bigger unit in your building. you're most definitely wearing overalls and you're most definitely beginning to show. carmy doesn't want to let you lift anything where you have to remind him that you're pregnant, not breakable (which, still doesn't put his mind at ease). regardless, marcus, gary, sugar, and pete all come to help the two of you move on a saturday. (sydney is running a whole new damn restaurant so she's busy or she'd be there but she makes sure to send food over and stops by later to check in that night).

liz & maya send you the sweetest gift: a crocheted onesie with 'baby bear' embroidered on the front, while your parents have already purchased grandma and grandpa merch. they're on the first flight out as soon as soon as you and carmy facetime them and tell them the news.

carmy never misses a single doctor's appointment. it doesn't matter what shift he has to call out of or who he has to call in a favor with, he will be there. you have ultrasound photos everywhere: taped to the fridge, in your planner, in carmy's office at the restaurant, functioning as a bookmark in one of your books.

marcus runs a mean campaign to be godfather that would give any presidential candidate a run for their money. richie competes with him, partially just to stir the pot, and carmy has to talk him down, reminding him that he got to be the witness in your wedding. you make the argument that if anything ever happened to the two of you, you'd want your baby to grow up with a pastry chef for a parent-figure. "dark..." richie comments, shooting you a look, while you shrug it off with a laugh. "that was dark, babe," carmy says, nervously. "yeah the concept of godparents is dark, honey," you point out.

after going back and forth about it, you and carmy decide that you do want to know the gender of baby bear after all. when you finally share your decision with your OB, she's more than excited to share with you that you're having a girl. you and carmy, both teary-eyed, stare up at the ultrasound and declare that it's a new chapter for the berzatto family.

#social media au #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto #carmy x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmen 'carmy' berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto headcanon #the bear headcanon #carmy berzatto imagines #carmy berzatto fluff #comfort and chaos #still into you #make my heart surrender #Carmy as your baby daddy

[saprocor]

Stardew headcanon time

Going insane because I had an idea and I need to yell about it or I will actually fucking explode-

Sebastian has a fairly popular blog where he starts to describe all the weird supernatural shit in Stardew Valley after it starts and your weird self:

- The weird environmental things that start happening after your arrival (ie. Green rain)

- Supernatural activity increasing 10 fold.

- How you gain special powers after eating food

- How you're super weird and do shit like running around at 2 am from the mines back to your farm, passing out, then somehow being able to go right back to it instantly even after being exhausted or severely injured

- How you hatch strange creatures on your farm (void chickens, slimes, etc.)

- How you can just chuck random shit into a sewing machine, and it comes out as clothing (he hears about this from Emily and is like. This is going on the fucking blog)

- He also talks about how you're low-key terrifying at times- trudging home with a sword in one hand in the rain with blood and ghost matter dripping from it after a long day at the mines.

Sebastian speaks of his exasperation online about how everyone just let's you get away with being a weird as fuck cryptid basically. He connects the dots that all this weird shit started happening when your weird seld showed up in the valley later down the line because people start flocking to hear about it.

The farmer becomes somewhat internet famous and essentially gets a creepypasta-esque reputation online. People want to know the farmer lore. Sebastian doesn't name his town in his blog posts ever because he wants anonymity, and he especially wouldn't mention you because you lowkey kinda scare him after he connects the dots all together though.

Like what the fuck are you? He refuses to believe you're even human. You got knocked out to the point on almost dying in the skull caverns; he watches you walk out of the infirmary almost dead, pull out an entire cake and inhale it in a couple of seconds, then look a-ok and run right back to the mines. He's not gonna mess with that.

He would be kinda lost without you being an odd little creature, though, so although you know he has locked onto you about all this shit you let him continue to obsess about it out of kindness because you know he's bored out of his brains without you doing your thing.

You just say mildly cryptic, vague things at times when he mentions something to keep him entertained.

#I really need to draw up my farmer and discuss the lore but my brain is too keen to just keep maladaptive daydreaming and cant focus enough- #to complete it HSHHS #stardew valley headcanons #stardew valley #stardew valley sebastian #stardew farmer

[moodywyrm]

now im thinking about abby fresh from bath ready to cuddle

this ,,, but with farmer abby ,,,, also just a reminder, farm abby and farm sevika were 100% spawned from @jupiter-va's beautiful farm audios and my lovely lovely wife @pinknightsinmymind

but thinking of farmer abby coming back into the house after a long day of planting. she's covered in dirt and grime, sweaty as all hell, bone tired and ready to fall into her wife's arms. but she can't! because she knows you wouldn't want her to get into the bed you spent so much time fluffing up and caring for.

so after she eats dinner with you at the kitchen table – because the bed may be off limits but dinner cannot wait – she heads up to the bathroom. she nearly melts when she sees a set of pajamas laid out of her, some soft boxers and a light cotton bralette, that had to have been there since before dinner. it makes her so fucking soft, all the little things you do to take care of her. she showers as fast as possible, making sure she's completely clean before she can even think of getting into bed with you.

by the time she's out and done with her routine, Abby is practically jumping into bed. you're already there, in your soft lil pjs, waiting for your wife. the second she's in bed, you shift to lay on your back and pull her into you. abby, sweet needy girl that she is, instantly shoves her face into your chest and snuggles close, mumbling in your soft skin.

"missed you so bad darlin'," she drawls, the accent coming out when she's this tired. her rough hands trail up and down your sides, making you shiver. you're rubbing soft circles on her back, feeling up swaths of freckled, water-warmed skin.

"mmm, I was in the house all day, baby, but I missed you too," You murmur, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. abby, big strong girl that she is, whines and wiggles closer, pressing a kiss to your chest.

"yeah but you were so far away, just wanted to cuddle you."

she's just so fucking cute when she's like this, tired and sore and clean, the scent of her pine soap mixing with something so distinctly warm and Abby, it makes you soft. "now you can, big girl. we can cuddle all night, my love."

she lets out a happy little whine, murmuring a little " 'love you" into your chest before settling in, letting you two drift off to bed.

she's soooooo fucking soft I need farmer abby and her southern drawl ok she is very gorgeous to me!

#anon #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x reader fluff

[wordsbymae]

Honestly I wouldn’t mind if ya did a story that was just breeding kink baby fever pregnancy centered focused 🙈 No thoughts head empty just 🌽

But I do have to ask out of your ocs who’d actually make a great father vs shitty father vs meh father? And what are some of ya ocs parental habits for raising the babies?

Hi!! Honestly I wish I was sooooo much better at smut cause that's all I would write. I'm trying to get back into writing smut but I'm really not very good at it, but I'm practising! Also i promised a fic tonight but I'm tired and my writing is shit so I'll have a red hot crack go tomorrow after work.

Ok so I'll just do out of my yandere ocs, cause they are the ones everyone is more familiar with. TW: talks about domestic abuse

Great Father goes to the Farmer for sure. Look he's got traditional (aka outdated views) but that doesn't mean he would ever disown his children. He had a really horrible childhood and he always promised himself he would do a better job as a parent then his own ever did. He is very hands on, giving his children life skills and most importantly the belief that they can overcome what life throws at them. The farmer knows how hard life is, so he tries to instil good work ethic and most of all a be good to others way of thinking. Being a helping hand is important to him.

He may not like people that much, but being someone others can rely on made him feel as though he is wanted and worthwhile when he was always told by his parent's he was not. He would unfortunately believe in boy's things and girl's things. But that doesn't mean if a son of his wants to help mama sew or a girl of his wants to help him fix the truck he's going to go crazy. No, of course not, he believes that ALL life skills, whether others believe them to be men or women jobs, need to be taught to children. So he doesn't care about division of labour based on gender.

What makes him a bit weary is if his son wants to wear florals or pinks, or if his daughter ONLY wears masculine clothes, especially if they go into town. He's just not comfortable about it. However, over time I think he just wouldn't care anymore and would only fuss if they are wearing improper clothes to work on the farm with. Likewise he wouldn't disown his children if they came out as queer, he would most likely make really cringy jokes and ask embarrassing questions and then say something like "Oh, so I can't ask my child a genuine question? Is that not politically correct now?", but like sir, please the question was embarrassing.

But yeah, once he kinda understood it he would come to terms with it and actually would be funny. Like if someone in town asks him if he's proud of his kid for coming out hell say (absolutely seriously) "why the fuck should I be proud of them coming out of the house, why do kids these days need praise for every little thing they do!". like he wouldn't understand what the phase coming out even means. Anyway on to the next!

Meh Father goes to the Mad King. The man is all bark no bite. He pretty much only wants children as heirs and also to have levrage over the reader. He's not horrible by any means, he spoils his children when they deserve it, but he also makes them understand that nothing good in life is freely given and you have to take it. But unfortunately he also causes rivalries between his children. They are desperate for any attention/praise from him that they will try to out compete one another to gain it. Often resulting in arguments and injuries.

Reader (whether they wanted children or not) has to act overly motherly and affectionate to their children to counteract his actions. There is no favouritism or stern reminders of their places as heirs, just warm, welcoming love. Also his children aren't idiots, they can all tell that their parent's did not marry for love. At least on their mother's side.

They are torn between desperately wanting their father, the king, to show them true love not just cold approval and hating him for the emotional abuse he has put their mother through. It's actually kinda sad, because he was always desperate for the attention and love of his father and now he's caused the same thing between his own children.

There is moments of affection and love but the more he see's himself or god forbid his brother in his children, he begins to be very cold and distant. The man kinda forgot that a kid is 50/50 not just 100% their mother's. That's why his youngest is his favourite, although he would never tell anyone ever. His youngest is pretty much reader cloned, looks, personality, and everything. When he looks at them he is harshly reminded what he took away from reader the day he became king.

Bad Father goes to the Killer. This man would have absolutely no fucking clue what the fuck to do. And he would not care to try. Reader (who is usually gn but for the sake of this is afab) is heartbroken when they realise they are pregnant, and Killer has no idea why they won't stop crying. And why do they keep being sick all the time. A primal part of him likes the idea of caring and providing for his darling and their children, in fact he loves it.

When he figured out reader was pregnant, he started stocking up in furs, wood, meat and cloth. He made a crib from what he remembered his little brother's to be (omg lore drop). He likes to provide, but damn does he actually hate having a child. He leaves ALL baby stuff to reader, he pretty much refuses to look after or even pick up the baby. He gives reader all the resources they need and the Killer calls it a good job done. The poor kid(s) grow up very isolated and confused. Their mama loves them with everything they have but their pa won't even acknowledge them.

Resentment grows as they do. They of course don't really understand why they are here and why their mother/parent is with killer, because it's all they have ever known. They've known nothing other than this. I can see this going either two ways. One day the oldest snaps, they are sick and tired of listening to the screams of the their father's victims. Their mother/parent tries so hard to keep them from barging out of their small shack.

The eldest faces their father, who has grown grey over the years. However, he is still a scary and strong man, and the eldest falters slightly, it's enough for the Killer to smack their eldest to the ground telling them to go back inside. Reader sees this and just loses it. They have spent a good chunk of their life under Killer's thumb. They have seen so much death and violence they have become almost immune. But to see their child being struck by the man who killed all her friends all those years ago just causes absolute rage.

Reader picks up the old shotgun that they found hidden in the attic, they were always too scared to use it, especially when the kid(s) came. But now its time. Killer doesn't stand a chance.

OR the other way is that once the kid(s) reach maturity they follow in their father's footsteps unfortunately for reader and finally get their father's approval. I like the first idea better.

Hope you liked it! I should have my home invader story out tomorrow!

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere drabble #yandere prompts #oc #male yandere #farmer yandere #yandere oc #oc farmer #dv

[luaspersona]

Seoul Town Road | kth (m)

pairing ↠ horseback riding instructor!taehyung x reader (f. reader) genre ↠ college!au; idiots to lovers; light fluff; pwp; crack. summary ↠ having a sore ass on a Saturday after spending a day riding with Taehyung is nothing like you anticipated. rating ↠ +18 | minors DO NOT interact warnings ↠  tae was supposed to be a himbo, but reader is the stupid one; ig this doesn’t qualify 100% as reader insert, the reader is very black coded, but it’s still vague enough; jimin’s a lil shit; reader likes keke palmer (‘cus of good taste ofc 💅🏽); reader is in denial; bickering; crying, but not the way you think; i make one joke about being in the closet so there’s that; taehyung’s hands 😩; there’s an innocent massage that turns sexual; explicit smut: super soft dom!taehyung, a LOT of praise kink, teasing (i can’t help myself), begging (borderline desperation), light dirty talk, body worship, tit play, fingering, unprotected sex, slow sex and that’s a WARNING, brief oral sex (m. receiving), cum eating. word count ↠  8.5k note ↠ hey, y’all 🤠 i’ll casually pretend this didn’t take forever for me to finish and that i haven’t vanished on the meantime, so let’s not talk about it *clears throat* ok, so… it all started with this video, then i saw this, and here we are. also, pls ignore the corny ass title, it was provisional until i couldn’t come up with anything better, then it suddenly wasn’t. note² ↠ always need to thank @uarmymoonlight for being the most precious being ever and helping me outline and organize my thots on this one, ily 🤟🏽 note³ ↠ also, thank you @badgalsgetinfree again for making me this beautiful! banner 🥺 you’re really talented and i appreciate you! and thank you @eoieopda and @namjinsmoonchile for beta reading this and taking their time to make sure this wasn't complete shit lol

navigation | masterlist | permanent taglist | tell me your thoughts ♡

It seemed like a really good idea at first. And, granted, it was almost fun: Taehyung’s firm grip on your hips and that large palm warming your thigh was definitely something, but goddamnit if your butt isn’t sore as fuck. 

Now, here you lay, ridiculous groans muffled by the soft fabric of your comforter as you try to balance a hot water bag over your hurt ass. And the worst part? He seemed so unimpressed. Meeting your eyes with nothing but amusement at your pathetic riding attempt.

That settles it. You’re never horseback riding again.

“For the record, I think you’re being pathetic about this,”Jimin says. 

“Shit, I think the pain must be affecting my memory too, ‘cus I don’t remember asking you a damn thing, man.”

He rolls his eyes, reclining on the chair. 

“I don’t need your permission to tell you that you’re being stupid.”

“Well, then I choose to ignore you.”

He huffs. “You’re impossible sometimes.”

“Then give up already.”

“Girl, just look at you. You have a water bag on your ass and you haven’t even fucked the guy.”

“You know what, maybe I just like the warmth.”

“Stop being stubborn. I bet Taehyung would be more than down to fuck you.”

You groan, burying your face in your comforter. “It’s not that simple.”

“Except it is.” He lets out an exasperated sigh. “You’ve fucked everyone you’ve met, what’s so different about him?”

“Are you slutshaming me?”

Jimin takes a deep breath. 

“I’m shy-shaming you for not fucking the guy you’ve been pining over for the last six months. Quite the opposite.”

“I’m not pining. I do not pine.”

“Right, ‘cus you always wanted to learn how to ride a fucking horse.” He rolls his eyes.

…

Yeah, you don’t really have an answer to that.

To be honest? You didn’t even know horseback riding instructor was a real job. Much less that there is a stud farm near campus that offers part-time slots for college students that are too broke to care about employment rights. But then, Taehyung used his first paycheck to gift Yoongi an overpriced craft whiskey for his birthday and buy Jimin an original Celine sneaker for their “wonderful six months of friendship” — being a perfectly good example of why, even employed, college students stay broke.

Add that piece of knowledge to an ungodly amount of alcohol and you wake up to months of avoiding major embarrassments shattered by a “hoe much 4 u 2 teacj mr how 2 ridw?” text. And sure, you could’ve just dismissed it, said you were drunk or whatnot — but you were completely sober when you confirmed the date. The messages you exchanged after were pretty tame. He told you he could give you a free first lesson (“you’re a friend!”), explained to you how it worked, arranged some riding clothes for you and asked if Saturday was a good day. It wasn’t. But fuck it, you made it work.

It’s not like you and Taehyung never hung out. As far as he was concerned, you were friends. You drink together, you tease him, he sometimes teases you back, but never just the two of you. Never after you accidentally called out his name in bed two months ago — resulting in a pretty pissed and unremarkable hookup and a new feeling to shove to the dark corners of your mind until it finally disappeared.

Except it never did. And then, before you knew it, you were taking forty minutes to choose what underwear to use at a goddamn stud farm (you went with lace, by the way — you never know).

The class itself was terrible. Taehyung had to prioritize the hundreds of kids with cowboy hats whose parents had actually paid to be there, so it took around two hours for him to finally remember you were there too. He then introduced you to a pretty horse, told you her name was Princess and you allowed yourself to pretend that every call of her name was aimed at you.

“Listen,” Jimin’s voice pierces through your thoughts. “I’ll give you some tough love now, so pay attention and just stop being nasty with me. I’m on your side here.”

“... Okay?”

“You’re my best friend, and I know you have that weird ‘the shittier the better’ philosophy going on, and I can’t change that. But if you’re not doing anything about your crush, then stop acting weird around him, ‘cus I’m sure he’s noticing. Just… I don’t know, put your big girl pants on, accept that you’re into the guy and move the fuck on.”

“I’m not in—” your rebuttal dies in your tongue at the glare Jimin directs at you. You scoff. “Whatever.”

“Have you talked since yesterday?”

“No.”

You're lying, of course. Earlier that morning you got a little consolation prize.

[08:48am] taehyung 🥵🐎: yesterday was nice! it's been a while since i taught an actual adult lol

[08:50am] taehyung 🥵🐎: how was is for you?

[09:11am] you: it was nice

[09:32am] you: i’m sore af now, tho 💀

Hours later and your text stood unanswered — making the twenty minutes you spent overthinking it even more pathetic.

Jimin narrows his gaze.

“You didn’t say anything stupid, right?”

Well.

“Depends on your definition of stupid.”

“Something like saying he smells really good for a vet major.”

You groan. “I said that once, and it was meant as a compliment.”

He offers you a pointed look. Eyebrows raising just slightly as if to say “I rest my case”, before a notification lights up his phone.

“How’s your butt?”

You welcome the change in subject.

“Better.”

“Good. I have to go now.” A small smile tugs on his lips. “Have a date.”

“Ohhh” you smirk teasingly, “on your way to win someone’s heart?”

“You bet.”

“Nice. Have fun, Chim.”

“Thanks. I’ll call you later.” He gathers his things and places a kiss on the top of your head. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. Love you too.”

“Great.” He steps out of your dorm, glancing at you one last time and saying “stop being stupid”, before leaving your room.

Jimin clearly overestimates you.

The next hour is spent with occasional reheatings of the bag and apprehensive checks of your phone — and it doesn’t take long until Jimin’s words spark a frustration deep inside you.

You know what? You’re not into Taehyung. No. Absolutely not. No way.

You pride yourself on being on control of shit like this, with a terrible and meticulous track record of only fucking people you pick up from trash — bonus points if they treat you like shit afterwards to ruin any sparkling possibility of feelings.

Actually, coming to think of it, it’s probably just his kindness that gets you confused.

…

Of course, it could also be his eyes.

Or his deep voice.

Shit, but there’s also that boxy smile, tho…

Ugh.

Fuck Jimin and his preposterously hot friend. And fuck whoever is knocking on your door at such a vulnerable time.

You groan into your pillow, deciding in no time not to answer it; the bag on your butt too warm to give up for that weird ass finance major from the first floor that’s still trying to get you to invest in his crypto currency or whatever the hell that powerpoint meant. Besides, you look like shit, and you ain’t gonna let—

Your thoughts are interrupted by your ringtone. Normally, you’d patiently wait for whoever’s calling to give up and text you instead, like a decent fucking person, but when you grab your phone and Taehyung’s name flashes on the screen a surge of panic runs through your body. Before you can even process what you’re doing, your fingers move to decline the call.

You drop your phone on the bed. Staring it down for a full minute before impulsively reaching for it and hitting the call button under Taehyung’s contact. 

He picks up after the first ring.

“Did you just hang up on me?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Damn. Cold.”

“Why are you calling?”

“Wanted to ask you something real quick. You live in Bang Si-hyuk Hall, right?”

“You could’ve just texted me for that.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Second floor, dorm thirteen right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Right. Are you home?”

“Yeah?” 

“Great! Can you open your door?”

“Huh?” God, you’re so eloquent.

“I’m here.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Pretty sure I am. Here, let me just—” another knock hits your door, “hear that? That’s me.”

You gasp, immediately jumping off the bed and fighting to stifle the subsequent groan at the way your bottoms sting with the abrupt movement.

“Shit–I, uhm, wait a sec.” You say, before ending the call.

Your face is all puffy from being pressed on the pillow the whole day and you’re still wearing your pajamas. You control the urge to cry at the prospect of Taehyung seeing you like this, seeking some sort of consolation as you run your fingers over your eyebrows, in a feeble attempt to make something look presentable.

You cross the space to your door, quickly scrunching your hair before opening it. 

“Hey,” he smiles. When the universe created Kim Taehyung, there was no mercy, because how on Earth can a man look this fucking good? And as his deep eyes fix on your chest, you can feel your brain trying to come up with its own syntax. “Where the hell did you get this from?”

You follow his gaze, landing on your less than flattering cropped pajama top that says “some people ride the crazy train, I drive that bitch”. You grimace.

“Why? Not to your taste?”

“You know what? You’re almost pulling it off.”

“Almost? This is my best look.” You sure hope not. “Besides, I feel like it encapsulates my crazy bitch personality.”

“Sure.” He chuckles, and his attention is on your face again. “So, I’m sorry for coming unannounced. I saw your message when I left work and I… well,” he reaches behind him, fumbling on his backpack before he reveals a small pharmacy bag “thought I could be of help.”

Your stomach flips. A perfectly normal reaction to a friend buying medicine and coming all the way to another friend’s place after seeing they were in pain. 

“I just felt bad, I guess.” He continues when you just keep staring at his face — that beautiful, sculpted face of his. “I forget how painful it is to ride for the first time and I didn’t give you proper aftercare instructions.” Did those words actually leave his mouth? “Can I come in?”

Admittedly, there were some horny nights with some thirsty thoughts — but in none of your fantasies your hair had this much frizz when you let him in your place alone for the first time, so you immediately shake your head.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to. You’re probably tired from work and all.”

“No, really, it’s no heat. I know how bad the pain is. I used to be sore as fuck all the time, so I learned just how to deal with it.”

…

You mean… he did come all this way to provide some assistance, and you’re not rude — not all the time at least. So you step aside to give him room to enter, closing the door once he does.

Taehyung’s eyes roam around your room, and after some seconds of quiet inspection, he regards you with a frown. “Thought you had a Keke Palmer poster.”

You mimic his confusion.

“What?”

“Pretty sure you said you had one when we watched Nope.”

You take a few seconds to understand what he’s talking about, but eventually Hobi’s ridiculous attempt at making movie nights a thing a couple of months ago returns to you.

“Damn, you remember that? Obsessed much?” You tease, prompting Taehyung to roll his eyes.

You’re grinning when you step in front of your closet, slowly bending to grab the large Keke Palmer Glamour cover that you printed out months ago.

“Oh. You keep it in the closet?”

“It builds character.” You turn to show it to him. “Also if I so much as stain the wall, I have to pay a fee.” You pout. “But I only found out after spending a shit ton of money to get this laminated and framed, so.”

“I can hang stuff in my apartment.” He shrugs.

“Congratulations. Wanna tell me how nice it is to have an individual bathroom too?”

“No, I’m just sayin’... you could hang it there.”

“What, you like Keke Palmer now? You haven’t even watched True Jackson.” If this man had a flaw, that was definitely it.

“I mean, we could watch together. We never do anything just the two of us.”

Yeah, well, no shit.

“That’s ‘cus you annoy the hell out of me.” Which isn’t 100% wrong. “Besides, we just rode horses together, my sore ass is definitely a testament to that.” You turn to place the poster back. “Which reminds me. What about the drugs you were going to give me?” 

“Here,” he reaches for the pharmacy bag again, pulling out a pain relief plaster from it, “this is the best one I’ve found, and it doesn’t have any major side effects or anything...” he pauses. “You aren’t pregnant and shit, right?”

“And shit?”

“Like… suspecting?”

“Not really.” 

“Then we should be safe.” 

“Damn. You ain’t sure?” You laugh anxiously.

“... ‘Course I am.”

“You hesitated.”

“I used this before, and I’m fine.”

“You can’t really get pregnant, though, can you?”

“Thought you said you’re not pregnant.” He narrows his eyes.

“That’s not the point.”

He grimaces.“People from work use it. And some of them can get pregnant, so… you’ll be fine. Don’t you trust me?”

“Not at all.”

“Great, then.” He smiles and you can’t help smiling back. “Where’s hurting?”

“Basically my back and legs… also my butt, but I ain’t sticking patches there.”

He nods. “Seems fair.”

Taehyung’s attention shifts to your bed.

“Mind laying down for me?”

You swallow the urge to vomit.

“Sorry?”

“It’s easier if I apply them for you. If you place them wrong they won’t work properly. Besides, it’s probably better if we don’t use a lot, for…” he darts his eyes away, “safety concerns, in case you ever want to pop some kids out.”

Yeah.

It makes sense, right?

“Okay.” You narrow your eyes. “But no funny business, mister.” You say, like a fool.

He raises his palms in surrender, before helping you climb the bed carefully. You shift a bit, pulling the hem of your shorts lower over your ass as you lay on your stomach. 

“Show me where it hurts.” He fishes for a patch inside the package.

You extend your hand to hover over your lower back and then point generally to your thighs.

“No, show me where it hurts the most. I can’t put these everywhere.”

“There’s not a single place, Taehyung.” You scoff. “I barely got up from bed this morning.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll never horseback ride again— by the way, why it’s horseback riding? Where else would I ride?” You shake your head.

“Fuck if I know. Also, the pain is just because you’ve never done it before. The more you ride, the more accustomed you get. Like… like sex!”

Yeah, you’re not having this conversation with him.

“Just put the damn patches, man.”

“Wait, let me think.”

“God, this will take some time.”

“Shut up.” He goes quiet for a moment, and you turn to find him looking at your bottom with his hand on his chin. Not flattering, really. “Let me give you a massage.”

You can only hope that he can’t see the way you shiver as the words leave his mouth. 

You laugh.

What.

“What?” You voice, twisting to look at him.

“It’ll help to relieve the pain, then we can see the best spot to place the patches.” 

“You just wanna touch my butt,” you can only hope you don’t sound as desperate as you feel.

He chuckles.

“You wish.” Fuck, you kinda do. “But I’m serious, it’ll be good to soothe it. Also, my messages are pretty good.”

You won’t do this.

You shouldn’t do this.

…

No, really, you shouldn’t do this.

But then again… you and Jimin have given each other a bunch of massages before. Even Namjoon had given you some proper kneading before, and it was no big deal. This is just a friend helping out another friend who happens to be in pain.

…

Yeah, maybe Jimin’s right. Maybe you are stupid, and maybe you do stupid things when it comes to Taehyung.

“Whatever.” You return to your previous position, resting your cheek on your palms on the bed. “You better be good at this.”

“I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll want nothing more.” He taunts, and you’re afraid he might be too right on that one.

You and Taehyung have touched before. He’s a cuddler, so occasionally you fall victim to his hugs. He’s also been beside you in the backseat of Yoongi’s car one too many times, pressed together as you try to make room for Jimin’s thick ass. There was also that time you fell on top of him when you all went to a water park and he stood at the bottom of the slide — like a dumbass —, but even then it was mostly your foot on his face.

So now, as his large palms find the bare skin of your waist, exposed by your cropped top, it’s like the first time you’ve ever been touched.

But the feeling is short-lived, as Taehyung immediately pulls his hands away.

“Are my hands cold?”

“No?”

“You got goosebumps.”

“Oh.” You chuckle awkwardly. “It was kinda sudden.”

“Sorry.” He pauses. “I’m going in, then.”

You sigh when the weight of his palms returns to your waist, and Taehyung chooses to ignore the way your body still shivers while his feather-light touch travels over your lower back. 

“You comfortable?”

“Yes.”

He hums and you close your eyes.

He gradually starts to add more pressure, digging into your skin and eliciting a quiet grunt out of your lips when he kneads on a particularly sore area.

“Sorry” he stops briefly, “this will probably hurt some, but let me know if it gets too much.”

Months of one sided sexual attraction are enough to make his five minute touch already too much. And you know this ain’t looking good. Not with the way your body receives this as if it’s some kind of tantric experience. You can already feel heat spreading under your skin while his hands get familiar with your back, and you’re definitely way more tense then you should be — but you do your best to force your mind out of the gutter and try to enjoy this friendly massage.

And to be honest, he’s actually really good at this.

His hands work in a disarming rhythm. Hard pressure unwinding your sore spots, only to return with soft and delicate caresses whenever your pain announces itself. He pays attention to every inch of your hips, charting the flesh with the utmost care and determination, and making it impossible for you to hold grunts and soft sighs of relief — which, despite bringing a tingling heat to your face, only seem to spur him on.

As his fingers trace every line of your lower back and ease pains you didn’t even know you had, it doesn’t take long for you to allow yourself to relax, and it’s no surprise when your mind wanders. It wanders with simple, yet agonizing questions, such as how those palms would feel in other parts of your body. Nothing too daring, just… 

… on your neck, untying the knots you sure have there too, or… 

… or on your shoulders, kneading the tense areas…

… but maybe your thighs too, caressing their soft, tender skin…

… and maybe a bit higher, in between them too.

You’d never admit it out loud, but for a moment, while your waist is so attentively being touched by him, you pretend that this whole shallow breathing, overthinking and nauseating butterflies thing isn’t one sided, and that his hands aren’t just soothing a pain he feels somewhat responsible for, but rather claiming your skin, like you have wished he’d do, caring for your body as if it’s his to care for.

“You good?” He asks, and you feel intoxicated by his quiet voice sounding from above you. 

You hum softly. “Feels good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You sigh.

“Nice. Can I massage your thighs too?”

Of course you nod. How could you not? Nevermind your thighs are sensitive as fuck. Nevermind the telltale longing you feel as soon as his hands leave your back. What minds, though, is the welcoming warmth of when they find your legs. The delicate and hesitant contact is enough for you to suck in a sharp breath, firmly grasping the comforter beneath your hand.

His palms are as purposeful as they were on your hips, easing the soreness and softening the flesh, while being careful not to surpass or even brush the limit of your shorts — but holy fuck how you wish he would. You wish he would just read your mind and feel as electrified by your skin as you feel by his, because you know — you just know that you’re melting way too fast, tight grip on the bed getting more useless by the minute, and you don’t even notice when your reasonable grunts and sighs turn into breathy whimpers and mellow moans.

But Taehyung notices. Hands hesitating before finally coming to a full stop and parting from your skin when a brush in the hem of your shorts prompts a wanton moan to fall from your lips.

You groan at the loss, your glazed over eyes making you oblivious to his hooded ones as you lift yourself on your elbows to better face him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uhm,” his eyes flicker to your pouting lips, “maybe we— I think we should stop…” he clears his throat. “Yeah. We should stop.”

“Why?” You frown, cautiously turning to sit up straight.

He rehearses an answer a couple of times, opening and closing his mouth exasperatedly, before deciding to not give a fuck to be coherent. “‘Cus— god, you are–you” he runs his hands through his hair, before chuckling humourlessly “shit, you’re driving me fucking insane,” he blurts, squeezing his eyes shut.

“What?” You mutter, not keeping up with the fact that Taehyung’s having a mental breakdown right now.

“You seriously need to ask?” Is he… angry at you right now? “God, you just— shit, sound so fucking hot, you sound like heaven, and touching you is making me all… I don’t even know, I’m not–I can’t think right now, shit, do you have any idea how soft your skin is? Just fucking look at yourself. Your bod–you’re just so beautiful and I’m touching it like it’s not making me fucking horny as hell, and I know we’re friends and shit, but god you’re just…” he finally breaths before noticing your wide eyes and agape mouth. “Shit, I’m— fuck, I’m sorry, I’ll just leave, sorry for whatever the hell this was, please don’t tell Jimi—”

It’s only when Taehyung starts to step back that you snap out of your own head.

Shit.

Jimin is right.

“Taehyung” you reach for his wrist, “shut up.”

“No, but I’m—”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

For a second he looks just as helpless as you feel.

“What.”

“Taehyung,” you stare deep inside his eyes, “keep touching me.”

He blinks, but steps closer to the bed again.

“What are you saying?” 

“Damn, boy, do I have to spell it out for you?” You tease, but the neediness is evident in your tone.

His expression softens immediately and he chuckles — somewhat incredulous, somewhat relieved —, drawing his tongue along his bottom lip as he allows his eyes to trail over your whole body, traveling over your chest, then down your legs, before he’s returning his attention to your lips.

Not a single hint of hesitancy veiling his actions anymore.

He steps closer, placing one of his knees on the bed and leaning over you. His hand cradles your jaw, softly tracing the skin. You can feel his breath fanning over your face, and you promptly close your eyes, anticipating what his kiss would feel like. 

“Wanna hear you say it.” He whispers against your ear. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

Your mind spins at the pet name, his deep voice lacing it with the purest of honeys as you feel excitement tightening every muscle in your body.

“Taehyung, I…” you swallow thickly, feeling his pillowy lips touching your cheek “I want you.”

You sigh.

“Please.”

And then, his touch leaves your face, and you open your eyes, confused.

He stares at you with desire blanketing his eyes. A small smile crosses his lips before he opens his mouth again.

“Lay back down on your stomach for me, then.” He smirks. “Let me finish your massage.”

You return to your previous position in a heartbeat, expecting Taehyung to do the same, but as soon as you’re comfortable — or as comfortable as one could be while this tense — his legs circle your body and he straddles your thighs, knees framing your hips.

“This ok?” You nod, whispering a quick affirmative. “Tell me if that changes, I can’t see your face.”

“Okay.”

This time, when Taehyung touches you, he traces your skin as one would the finest porcelain, fingertips traveling through the expanse of your back as if trying to memorize each and every inch of it. But he doesn’t avoid reaching higher now, palms raising your top slightly before feeling his way along your sides and down to your ass.

He molds the flesh under his palm, but freezes when a soft squeeze prompts a hiss out of your lips.

“Shit, sorry, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You say immediately.

“Right.” He hesitates. “Also, please let me know if I hurt you at any point.” You nod, but he still doesn’t continue. “Tell me you understand.”

“I’ll let you know if you hurt me at any point.” You assure, wiggling your hips a little. “Now, please.”

He chuckles. Your eyes flutter shut as soon as his touch finds your legs, thumbs grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh and you feel like you’re learning how to breathe all over again.

The pleasure he’s eliciting from your body is so profound it’s almost worrisome, and it’s all you can do not to get too much in your head, because you’ve never been touched like this before.

Like, yeah, sure, you could’ve guessed Taehyung’s hands were sinful, or that some deep-buried pent up emotion would make the knot in your stomach that much more delicious, but you don’t think you could’ve dreamt with how easily he’s able to read your body, working you up at an alarming speed as his patient but insistent touch make you feel like one of those white mystical bitches who cum on camera with that tantric bullshit you’ve laughed about before.

If it weren’t for the way your panties are soaking wet already, uncomfortably sticking to your pussy, and for the weight of his body above you, you’d sure be blaming this on some weird sex dream you’d rather never acknowledge. 

But as much as you’re enjoying it — and somewhat surprised at his patience —, it doesn’t take long before you start squirming under him, begging for something more intimate.

“Taehyung,” you sob, “more.”

“Shit, you sound so needy. Nothing like the bad bitch I know.”

“Taehyung,” you hiss, and it’s supposed to be a reprimand, but he only chuckles.

“Don’t get me wrong, though, I fucking love it. Love to know I’m the one making you feel like this.”

You ignore the way his tone makes your brain stop for a full second before you wiggle down, trying to near his hand to where you need him the most, but his hold is firm on your thighs.

“Shit, don’t tease me.” You cry.

Taehyung clicks his tongue, body leaning forward to press down on your back before his lips find the shell of your ear.

“I don’t think you understand what’s gonna happen here, baby” how is Taehyung’s voice so fucking hot, god, this can’t possibly be fair. “If you want this, you’ll have to behave and listen to me.” His hand finally moves, and a strangled moan falls from your lips when his thumb finds your pussy through the thin fabric of your shorts. “Can you do that?” His lips tease the skin below your ear. “Can you be a good girl for me and let me take care of you?”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Why does he sound so calm? And why do you feel anything but?

“Yes,” you mutter under your breath, and Taehyung pulls your earlobe between his teeth before returning to his previous position.

“Good. Now tell me what you want, baby. And be clear.”

His demanding tone sends a wave of arousal to your panties. 

“Touch me.” You blurt.

“Ain’t I?” He swipes his thumb over you again and you gasp.

“No–not enough. Just… fuck, please,” you swallow thickly, trying to think, “you know what I want.”

“Uhm, but I don’t. Why don’t you spell it out for me?” Another swipe. 

“Shit” you shudder, “give–give me more.” You squeeze your eyes shut. “Take this– my shorts, take them off, please”

He chuckles. 

“So needy.” He mocks, but if the speed with which he gets off of you is anything to go by, he’s not much better.

He’s careful to not spark any pain as he slowly pulls your shorts down your legs, but leaves your panties on as he straddles you again and gently grabs your ass.

“Taehyung,” you whine.

“Shit, you sound so pretty saying my name like that,” his fingers swiftly pull your panties aside, and you both let out appreciative moans when he feels up and down your aching pussy. “You’re soaking my fingers, baby,” he murmurs, fingers parting your folds, “want me this bad?”

“I want you so much,” you answer, mind functioning way past self-preservation.

His hand dips down to rub your clit, making your walls flutter around nothing. He speeds up and you hear how wet you are for him, feeling your arousal dripping down your thighs. Taehyung shifts a bit and helps you carefully spread your legs with him still above you, and the momentary discomfort is worth it when he pushes two fingers inside your aching cunt.

“So fucking hot,” he groans, low tone dripping with lust as he starts to properly finger you open for him, “just sucking me in. Can’t wait to feel that around my cock.”

You shudder at his words, doing all you can to not rip the comforter with the force you’re clutching it.

“God, baby, wan–want that too” you gasp.

“Yeah?” 

“Want you to fuck me dumb.”

“Holy shit,” he lets out a strained chuckle, “I’d love that too, baby, but if I did that it wouldn’t really help with the pain.”

You swear you had an answer in the tip of your tongue, but Taehyung curves his fingers in that exact moment, hitting your sweet spot just right and you suddenly don’t recognize your own voice, spilling filthy nothings and moaning shamelessly as he pairs his now precise rutting with a languid grinding of his palm on your cunt. “So what about I fuck you sweet and slow instead? Worship this gorgeous body of yours, hum?” 

Taehyung takes the way your pussy squeezes his fingers as the answer that it is, and adds a third digit past your dripping folds, further preparing you for him. Your hips jolt when he takes his thumb to your clit, smearing your juices around before he’s rubbing circles over it.

You feel your stomach tensing the longer he fingers you, but as delicious as this is, you didn’t fantasize about this day for months only to cum on his fingers.

“Taehyung, I’m—” you moan wantonly, body tensing under him, “I’m close, but I don’t wanna—”, his fingers leave your cunt with a loud squelch, and he pushes himself away from you just as quickly.

“Turn around for me, angel.” 

You take a second to process his words, his abrupt stop making you feel devastatingly empty, but as soon as you do as he says, he dives down to slot his lips against yours — and holy shit.

Taehyung kisses you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. Mouth molding over yours with an intensity that makes you feel loved. His hands travel over your body with similar admiration, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips to tangle with yours as you two savor each other.

Your mouths fit perfectly together while your skin burns with desire. He’s such a good kisser, matching your rhythm with ease. 

You slither your fingers through his hair, pulling the strands and turning his face slightly to deepen the kiss. He makes you drunk, intoxicated in the sweet taste of his lips, and the sloppier it gets, the hungrier you get.

“Wanna kiss you everywhere” he moans, mouth parting from yours to trace your chin and jaw, licking and sucking on the skin, while he starts to push your top up.

“You first” you mutter, running your hands down his chest and sliding them beneath his shirt, nails scraping against his stomach before you’re raising it up his torso.

He sends you a disarming smirk, kneeling on the bed to pull his shirt off.

“God, Taehyung, for fuck’s sake” you groan. “How are you real?”

“You’re one to say.”

“You damn right I am.” You scoff, suddenly self-conscious. “Have you seen yourself? How do you expect me to undress in front of you?”

“Nah, stop that shit,” he huffs out a laugh, leaning above you again to whisper against your ear, “where’s the bad girl I know? The one who owns every room she walks in, huh? If anyone should be insecure here, it should be me,” you bite your lip and he tugs on your shirt, “let me see you too, babe.”

You pout, but help him take off your top — and his gaze burns through your bare chest, impossibly darker.

“So fucking perfect,” he mouths, before diving in and taking your lips again, kissing you fervently and letting his hands run free over your whole body.

His large palms cup your tits, grabbing them and caressing the soft flesh for a while, then pinching and rolling your nipples in between his fingers. He moves his lips to your cheek, leaving small bites along the side of your jaw before he buries his face in the curve of your neck, licking and kissing every single spot.

“I’ve been dreaming about this body for so long” he says against your skin, “I thought I was gonna die when I saw you with a bikini on that trip” he admits. “But seeing you like this— actually seeing you,” he takes his lips further down, “shit, you’re prettier than any dream, than any thought I could have.” 

You feel your whole body warm with his praise, mind spinning as you try to make sense of his words — but failing miserably as he closes his mouth around one of your tits. Your eyes flutter shut and you roughly pull his hair, eliciting the sexiest fucking sounds out of him, all while rewarding them with your own loud pleasure as his tongue fondles with your nipple. His lips chart every inch of you, leaving no spot untasted or unkissed as he makes your body his.

“You make me dizzy,” he mumbles, “shit, can’t fucking get enough.”

He seems so fucking satisfied. Smuggly smiling against your body whenever you shudder or moan a bit too loud, pride overwhelming his features whenever his name meets his ears in a shaky breath, reveling in the way you melt under him.

Taehyung pulls the waistband of your panties between his teeth, biting down on the fabric to then carefully and slowly slide them down your legs, not daring to take his eyes away from yours until you are completely naked under him.

“Wanna taste you so bad.”

You feel goosebumps trailing over your skin, the idea sending a fresh wave of arousal down your cunt. So, naturally, when you pull him up and shake your head, you’re almost as surprised as him.

“No…” you whisper, and he freezes, worry taking over his face, “want you to fuck me.” Relief washes over his face, before a slow, teasing smirk takes over his lips, but he doesn’t say anything. “Shit, Tae, I need you to fuck me.”

Your whole face heats up when he snickers.

“Say that again.” You bite down on your lip when he grips your flesh with a bit more force than before. “My name,” he whispers, crawling up to caress your cheek. “Say my name like that again. Like you’ll fucking die if I don’t give you what you want.” His palm chases down your neck and pushes your head back a bit. 

“Tae…” you sigh, closing your eyes when he kisses your jaw, “Taehyung, please fuck me.”

“Fuck, so hot” he whispers on your ear. “Begging for cock like a good girl,” you whine when he pulls your earlobe between his teeth. “Are you always needy like this? So desperate to be fucked?”

It is humiliating to admit, and you feel a not-so-sexy kind of anxiety creeping up on you and catching up with you clouded brain, because you know damn well you’ve never begged for shit — and that's why a teasing smile and innocent look is the best you can muster before pulling him in for a kiss. 

Taehyung takes a second to process your touch, but soon melts into it, slipping his tongue past your lips and securing your waist on his hands. He rolls his hips, pressing his clothed erection on your cunt, and you both shiver at the friction.

“Why the fuck you still have your pants on?” 

“Was kinda distracted,” he scoffs, and your hands reach between your bodies for his belt. You struggle with the poor angle, but eventually manages to open his jeans, and Taehyung lets out a relieved sigh, sitting up to properly push his pants off.

“Hurry up,” you whine, rubbing your thighs together.

“You’re this eager to see my butt?”

“Yeah, wanna see where you hid it.”

“Damn,” he chuckles, shaking his head as he tosses his last piece of clothing away.

It’s pathetic. It’s so fucking pathetic the way your jaw goes slack and your eyes widen. But what can you do when you finally see his cock — the one you’ve imagined way more times than someone who doesn’t have a crush probably should. He’s so hard it sure must be painful and precum collects at the tip, making your mouth water.

“Wanna suck you.”

“If I ain’t tasting you, you ain’t sucking me.” You pout.

“You just scared you won’t last.”

“I wasn’t the one begging less than a minute ago.”

“Shut up.”

He chuckles, slotting himself between your thighs.

He teases up your entrance, smearing your arousal around your pussy until his crown finds your clit and a low moan rips from your throat. You’ve never been this wet before — but you’ve also never felt this wanted before either.

Then, Taehyung’s patience seems to finally have reached its limit — his own teasing overbearing even for himself, because he doesn’t wait another second as he parts your folds, pressing his tip before finally pushing in. You tighten your grip on his shoulder, digging your nails on his flesh while his eyes are hypnotized by the way your cunt throbs around him, adjusting to his size as he fills you to the brim.

“You ok?” He whispers, heavy breath fanning your face as you thread your fingers through his hair.

You nod, “Please, move.”

He starts to roll his hips back.

“God, you’re so tight,” Taehyung groans, eyes rolling back at the way you clench around him.

“Shit,” you moan, “this feels so fucking good,” you’re not really aware of the words leaving your mouth, feeling as if you’ve lost your ability to think — an ability that you weren’t particularly good at in the first place.

When Taehyung moves back in, you can feel every inch of him as he stuffs you full, grinding on you as soon as your hips meet and stimulating every part of you. He sets a disarming pace, cock reaching deep with every stroke and he has to control every urge in his body not to pound into you like you both would like him to. 

And you’re not used to this. You’re not used to the softness of his hold nor with the care he fucks you with. 

Sex for you always felt like a race, but Taehyung makes it feels as if he stopped time altogether. The overwhelming bliss he sparks within your body is just so fucking good, already so much better than any past orgasms you’ve had.

When he feels you fully accommodate him, he speeds up enough to have you spiraling but not enough so your thighs are hurting. Between lustful moans and low groans, his hooded eyes search yours to read your every reaction, to understand which angle makes your brows furrow deeper, which rhythm makes you sound the most vulgar, and you can feel yourself dissolving into pleasure — the toe-curling, mind fucking and dangerous type — in no time.

He whispers the dirtiest things in your ear, tracing your neck with his tongue and biting on your jaw, loud pleasure and wet sounds fill the room. 

You ignore the slight pain that hits your body whenever he makes your hips jolt or your legs shake, mostly because his soothing hands are anxious over your skin: fingers digging on your thighs, palms grabbing your hips, pinning you down on the bed to contain some of your roughest spasms. You’ve never been fucked so deep and so deliciously before.

You babble what seems like his name, but you’re too lost to be sure, desperate and uncoordinated sounds leaving your mouth loud enough to earn you some noise complaints later.

“Shit— ngh, so–so fucking good.” You arch your back, and Taehyung takes his hands to massage your tits.

Your head tilts back on the comforter, eyes squeezing shut despite your desire to keep looking at him — at his dark, unwavering gaze, staring you down while fucking you so deliciously —, but it’s just too much. You swear he’s on a mission to make you lose your goddamn mind as he earnestly fucks you, reaching every spot and grinding on you.

“Feels so good like this,” he grunts, “just sucking me in, so fucking wet.”

And you don’t answer — because you can’t. There’s nothing but Taehyung’s name in your mind, and some shaky version of it reaching his ears.

You can already feel the steady pressure building in the pit of your stomach, making your legs shiver around him as your whole body tightens. 

“Shit,” he buries his face in your neck, feeling you constrict around him, “you close?”

You nod, biting his shoulder as a guttural moan leaves your lips.

“Then cum for me, princess, cream my cock.” He commands, pressing his thumb down on your clit at the same time, and making you come undone beneath him.

Taehyung can't really detain your whole body from quivering, hips buckling while your back arches from before you collapse on the bed.

An exhaustion takes over you, and it feels like hours until you’re finally able to open your eyes again.

Your body’s still quivering with aftershocks, pussy way too sensitive as Taehyung fucks you with lazy, shallow thrusts.

“Shit, that was so fucking hot” he groans, before his brows knit up, “I’m close too.”

He suddenly pulls away, quickly rising to kneeling position and circling his glistening cock with his large hand. His eyes travel over your body as he pumps himself, palm focusing on the tip as he chases his own release.

You ignore the way you pussy clenches at the sight.

“In my mouth,” you mutter, voice barely audible — but he hears you, because his movements falter.

“What did you say?”

“Want you to cum in my mouth.” You lick your lips before supporting yourself on your hands to get closer to his crotch. He groans when you replace his hand with yours, jerking his length to spread some of your juices around before closing your lips around his tip.

His head immediately falls back with an elongated grunt. And you feel your pussy leaking when he starts to twitch inside your mouth. 

“So fucking good,” he praises, making you hum.

It takes only a few expert flicks of your tongue and hollowing of your cheeks before Taehyung’s hips buck and you feel his salty taste spilling down your throat. You keep sucking him, milking every last drop of his cum and swallowing it all like a champ, before releasing him with a pop and cleaning your lips with the back of your hand.

“You just swallowed my cum.” He says, as if trying to process it.

A sly smile takes over your face, but it doesn’t stay long as Taehyung’s face slowly scrunches up in what can only be described as sorrow. His lips turn into a pout and he gets off the bed in a heartbeat, searching for his discarded clothing.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

Your mind, empty a second ago, suddenly overflows with a million thoughts. 

Shouldn't you have swallowed his cum? Did he want to cum on your tits? Why the fuck are his eyes glossy like that? Is he crying because he wanted to cum on your tits? Why is your heart about to explode? Say something, why can’t you just say something?

“I’m really sorry about this” he starts, pushing his underwear up his body, “I can’t believe I–that we…” he groans, running his hands through his hair the same way you were doing just seconds ago.

It hits you maybe too late into the overthinking process that having sex with Taehyung wasn't probably the best idea — not only due to his current euphoric attempt at an escape, but also because now, after your brain starts functioning at a normal speed after cuming that hard, you’re finally able to process the messy string of thoughts knotting inside your head and come to the alarming conclusion that… yeah, you kinda have a crush on that man fleeing from you right now — undeniably so, given that he’s struggling to stop crying after fucking you and you still feel the urge to cuddle with him and pinch his cheeks.

The fuck is wrong with you.

“Taehyung.” You call, remnants from his cum lingering on your mouth.

Thank god Keke Palmer is secured behind that closet not to see you failing her like that.

He’s mumbling to himself, seemingly forgetting that you can, in fact, hear him.

“— can’t believe I just fucked her, this did not just happened—” he says, among sniffles, fighting with his zipper, “argh, this was so fucking good, she was so fucking hot and now I just won’t be able to forget this shit and this is the opposite of what I was supposed to do—”

“Taehyung!”

“What?!” He snaps, giving up on his jeans and letting them fall uncomfortably on his thighs. 

“The fuck you on about, man?”

He lets out a strangled noise, exasperated by your calmness.

“How am I supposed to get over you if my dick is now in love with you too?” He blurts, probably unintentionally, probably not realizing that you’re on the receiving end of that statement. 

“... Well, damn.”

He sobs when it hits him. You just chuckle.

“Please, forget I ever said that—”

“Why, tho? This was the most romantic shit someone’s ever said to me.”

His exasperated groans are so fucking cute.

“I… sorry, let’s just pretend I never said anything. I didn’t mean it.”

“Oh. That’s too bad, cus I kinda like you too.”

“That’s not what I…” He closes his mouth immediately, eyes wide in a mix of panic and bewilderment as you smile.

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean right now.”

You chuckle.

“Why? Gonna cry?” He actually sobs. “Damn, boy, you sound nothing like the bad bitch I know.” You mock, but then bite your lip and crawl off the bed, trying to stand in front of him despite your stumbling legs. “I like you too, you dumbass. Been liking you for sometime, actually.”

You place your hand on his face, softly cleaning the tears off his cheeks.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

He frowns, breathing finally normalizing.

“But you never really talk to me.”

“Yeah, I was kind of in denial and your personality didn’t help.”

“... That’s a compliment, right?”

You chuckle. “Yeah, Tae.”

“And what was yesterday about, then?”

“I was obviously trying to seduce you. And look at you,” you smile proudly, “seduced.”

“Yeah, ‘cus there’s nothing sexier than a sweaty woman fighting to stay on top of a horse, if you ask me.”

He opens one of those large, intoxicating boxy smiles of his, and you’re suddenly unable to smile back.

“Honestly? You intimidated the hell out of me. But seeing you completely out of your element yesterday watching me train some kids at a stud farm?” He chuckles. “Made me realize that… yeah, you’re amazing and all the shit I already thought… But you’re kinda lame too.” 

Your mouth falls open.

“I’m sorry, you just said your dick’s in love with me, asshole.” You roll your eyes. “And you were about to fucking flee the scene. While crying, may I add.”

“Yeah, cus you just ate my cum,” he smirks. “That does something to a guy’s heart.”

You roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, right.”

He shakes his head, an annoying smile still plastered on his face.

“I really do like you, you know? And like… we don’t have to figure anything out right now, this doesn’t even feel real yet, but…” he snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you flush against his chest, “I really fucking like you.”

He caresses your cheek with his thumb, slowly running his finger over your lips. This time, his kiss is tender, full of unhesitant affection. You two fumble backwards, and he carefully lays you on your back, falling beside you and pulling you to frame his side.

“I like you too.” You whisper, snuggling closer.

“We can do those corny things together now. Like… uhm, like watch that Real Jackson show you always talk ab—” you grimace.

“It’s True Jackson, Taehyung.”

“Whatever, same difference.” Keke please forgive his ignorant soul. “Oh, and I’ll take you to ride with me.”

“Yeah, don’t push it. There’s not a single chance I’ll be riding again.”

“Oh, no, babe,” he and offers you a smirk, “I meant riding this fucking dick!”

Sigh.

But honestly, that might not be too bad.

note ↠ sooo, what we think? 🥹 writing this after taking a break was way harder than anticipated lol, but i made it! so i hope y'all enjoy it note² ↠ all form of feedback is deeply appreciated! note³ ↠ you can go back to navigation here

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