#also i only had so much room lmao

[gothgirlshowdown]

Welcome to the Goth Girl Showdown! A competition where we will determine the ultimate fictional goth girl (gender neutral)!

This bracket will include 64 characters. Each round will last a week, and there will be 24 hours between rounds for me to set up for the nest round! I tried to seed it traditionally, but I’m not familiar with some media, and therefore am unsure about its relative popularity. I’m hoping to start getting everything uploaded on Saturday, June 10, 12am EST!

Round One

Wednesday Addams (the Addams Family) vs Emily Strange (Emily the Strange)

Marceline Abadeer / Marceline the Vampire Queen (Adventure Time) vs Creepie Creacher (Growing Up Creepie)

Sinead (But I’m a Cheerleader) vs Alice Lendrott (The Duke of Death and His Maid)

Misa Amane (Death Note) vs Marnie (Pokemon Sword and Shield)

Claudia (The Dragon Prince) vs Crimson (Total Drama)

Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) vs Goth Girl (Turning Red)

Maddie Flour (Amphibia) vs Sucy Manbavaran (Little Witch Academia)

Trish (Devil May Cry) vs Gwen (Total Drama Island)

Spock (Star Trek: The Original Series) vs Enid Mettle (OK KO: Let’s Be Heroes)

Mandy (Billy and Mandy’s Grim Adventures) vs Ruby Gloom (Ruby Gloom)

Nancy Downs (The Craft) vs Karina (Guardian Tales)

Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice) vs Scary Girl (Total Drama Island)

Gerry Keay (The Magnus Archives) vs Esmerelda Tusspells (Ace Attorney)

Laudna (Critical Role) vs Dru Blackthorn (The Shadowhunter Chronicles)

Serana (Skyrim) vs Hanajima Saki (Fruits Basket)

Aradia Megido (Homestuck) vs Arachne Gorgon (Soul Eater)

Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way (My Immortal) vs Lenore (Lenore the Cure Little Dead Girl)

Mai (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs Claire (The Summoning)

Janis Ian (Mean Girls) vs Noxia (Guardian Tales)

Sam Manson (Danny Phantom) vs Onyx von Trollenberg (Trolls)

Harrowhark Nonegesimus (The Locked Tomb) vs Maria Gorey (The Great Ace Attorney)

Wei Wuxian (The Untamed) vs Courtney K (Craig of the Creek)

Brigitte Fitzgerald (Ginger Snaps) vs Celestia Ludenberg (Danganronpa)

Morrigan (Dragon Age) vs Nadja of Antipaxos (What We Do in the Shadows)

Morticia Addams (The Addams Family) vs Serenity Rose (Serenity Rose)

Vanessa Doofensmirtz (Phineas and Ferb) vs Misery (Ruby Gloom)

Allison Reynolds (The Breakfast Club) vs Queen Lilith (Guardian Tales)

Hotaru Tomoe (Sailor Moon) vs Nana Osaki (Nana)

Death of the Endle (The Sandman) vs Courtney Sithe (The Great Ace Attorney)

Magenta (Sky High) vs Tabitha (Craig of the Creek)

Ruby Rose (RWBY) vs Nico Minoru (The Runaways, Marvel)

Rose Lalonde (Homestuck) vs Vampire Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Round Two

Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family) vs Marceline the Vampire Queen)

Sinead (But I’m a Cheerleader) vs Misa Amane (Death Note)

Claudia (The Dragon Prince) vs Drusilla (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sucy Manbavaran (Little Witch Academia) vs Geen (Total Drama Island)

Spock (Star Trek) vs Mandy (Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)

Nancy Downs (The Craft) vs Lydia Deetz (Beetlejuice)

Gerry Keay (The Magnus Archives) vs Laudna (Critical Role)

Hanajima Saki (Fruits Basket) vs Arachne Gorgon (Soul Eater)

Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way (My Immortal) vs Mai (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Janis Ian (Mean Girls) vs Sam Manson (Danny Phantom)

Harrowhark Nonegesimus (The Locked Tomb) vs Goth Girl (Turning Red)

Celestia Ludenberg (Danganronpa) vs Morrigan (Dragon Age)

Morticia Addams (The Addams Family) vs Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Allison Reynold (The Breakfast Club) vs Hotaru Tomoe (Sailor Moon)

Death of the Endless (The Sandman) vs Magenta (Sky High)

Nico Minoru (The Runaways, Marvel) vs (Vampire) Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

The Current Bracket:

#me when i for sure know how to seed properly #i had to vet it first i TRIEDDDD to be lenient but there were around 80 submissions so i had to axe some #also i only had so much room lmao #also im a gatekeeper hope this helps <3 #also btw uhhhhh idk who to @ to promo this and im too lazy to look for blogs so if anyone wants to promo this !!! #goth #goth girl #goth girl bracket #homestuck #danganronpa #<- for blacklist

[chayannesegg]

im so glad empanada, even after a tough day, got to have that talk and hug with richas and then bagi where em got some lovely advice about dealing with grief from richas & talked about what went wrong during the day

but i can't help but contrast this with sunny. sunny who empanada still hasn't seen. sunny whose been alone for days. sunny whose talked with almost no one. sunny who doesn't know bad is dead. sunny whose pretending tubbo isn't dead. sunny who got no goodbye. sunny who got no long talks about grief. sunny who got no explanations. sunny who no one visited today. sunny whose birthday is tomorrow. sunny who no one will wake up for first tomorrow

#qsmp #qsmp sunny #qsmp empanada #it's giving em and sunny being separated so long post em's first death #but also 50 times worse #they're sisters your honour they should be together #idk if sunny and leo will have talked off stream or not #but presumably she's done something with her mystery friend #we are for sure going to get angst from sunny tomorrow if only someone stays long enough to see it #also off topic but i think the em interaction with mike was fine #yes he clearly wasn't successful in cheering her up but she seemed to appreciate the attempt #even if it probably left her feeling a little like her feelings were her fault for not being able to cheer up #and he did apologize for barging into her room and left #i don't think he's in her bad books at all #she could definitely tell he cared and she was much more visibly frustrated with bagi #which they luckily had some resolution over #me once again writing one post in the text and another in the tags lmao

[skyeateyourdonuts]

weeoo

#this is gonna be me talking in tags today #ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me #and its been taking a toll on my health like #if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in #i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier #often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why #well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep #so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it #but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself #seemed like the only way for my body to be like #'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao #thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try #ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there #anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty #luckily my mood has weirdly been high #its just my sleep and health that are low #i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong #i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected #im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao #tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao #side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao #like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes #i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted #and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long #hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao #ah adulthood is hard lmao #alright im done #gata #no need to read <3 yall

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS: #Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.) #but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died' #ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her- #-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck- #-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh ! #THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house- #-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

[cemetery-baccanal]

the collection is thriving

#jackal speaks #manga collection #i love my manga / graphic novel collection so much i could talk abt it for hours #ive been collecting on and off for years but i was really able to indulge in it once i got my current job #had money and actual free time to read!! #my black butler collection is my pride and joy bc i got vol 6-19 second hand all in one go #blue exorcist also my love but not obsession atm bc im not caught up LMAO however its only a matter of time #i would say ignore the horses but. dont. they are so integral to the vibes #i lack kuro merch so i make do w sebastian ciel and vincent phantomhive horses #the big horse is actually witcher Roach (in progress) but i dont have room w my books and hes pretty so #ALSO IGNORE THE POP BOXES IN THE BOTTOM CORNER SJFDHJ I USED TO HAVE TWO LEVELS AND THATS WHAT I USE TO STACK THEM #not enough rengoku merch

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I listen to a song called Grapes by I dunno who but applying it to my AU stuff is really fun. The previous Chica is having a TIME with it and recently?

Been thinking about Jurassic Bark going through some hiccups over Roxy not telling them why she's so upset (it's because of Mimic stuff btw she's struggling) and to give everyone some space she just... Swaps places with her friend that happens to be her only predecessor. Completely forgetting that they'd think she'd done something to get herself scrapped and replaced by a new Roxy. She thought they'd talk for a sec first but nah Chica and Monty just fucking crumbled the moment she introduced herself with a different name and saw the different model number on the scan. Neither of them clocked that the model number was lower than before but still

Then the other side? Roxy completely removing herself from the limelight to try and recuperate after everything... She just so happens to be with not only two of the canines from the old Raceway and Jack, but also a few Chica and Monty variants. Like at least one of each. Maybe even Tiger, who everyone else believes is the Storyteller who did some shit and a half to them. Roxy not even thinking about it, alternating between the carnival, the salon and wherever else, trying to take a god damn break...

And they don't act the way her partners would. They do sometimes but they don't support her the same way. They think she's just naturally very cuddly or clingy or something until they figure out she's unknowingly latched onto them cause of those she loves. Boy is that a fun conversation...

I can't really do anything with this, mostly because I have no idea what could possibly push Chica and Monty to want a break of some kind with Roxy. But also because I haven't really made any previous Montys yet lmao. Could do Pupcakes/Roxica with it but I love the trio a lot so...

#my brain just favours the girlies unfortunately lmao #i DO have an idea for 'monty killed bonnie' to have happened at least once #but i also just think it would be kinda funny if bonnie was just. super killable??? #like an alarming amount of bonnie predecessors were scrapped by other animatronics #i just think it'd be funny!! #all the Bonnie's in a room like 'so what happened to you?' 'monty killed me. what about you?' #'monty got you?? really?? he was always so sweet to me... unlike freddy though. he fucking got me man' #'what??? freddy???? wow i feel SO much better dying to moon now...' #'you died to WHO?!' #the like... two Bonnie's that weren't murdered watching on in Horror lmao #the most purple one and the most blue one... #the clever smartass and the bimbo bunny... the only two that died to something else lmao #i dunno i just think that'd he funny!!! #anyway i don't really do none fluffy and fun ship stuff #but I've been listening to that song a lot so... #HOWEVER THE PREVIOUS CHICA VERSION WILL ALWAYS BE FUCKED #she had a thing for Foxy 2!!! she and Foxy were so insanely close!!! #and then she winds up in a group with Mangle and both of the Roxy's like #her foxy is deactivated!! and the only one that can reactivate him is Roxy 2 #and she's struggling to do it for personal reasons!!! #old chica struggling so fucking hard with all these canines that care about her!! #the lyrics are 'i fell for someone new but she's just another girl that looks like you' #YA KNOW??? YOU SEE???? WHY IT MAKES MY BRAIN ROTATE THESE THINGS???? YEAH!!!! #i love that song it's great #anyway #fnaf security breach #jurassic bark ship

[ayyponine]

Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.

#me #sometimes you have a few beers and yr feeling yrself. sometimes you feel too much like yourself and consider leaving early #for all the talk of yearning and intricate rituals let me tell you. a drunk girl sidled in right in front of me and the sense of rage i- #her and esp the guys she was with got kinda rowdy in the pit later on shoving each other also into the crowd whom did NOT want part of that #its a lot of people in a small room and at this point i was already further back and against a wall let me tell you #i think if someone had touched me i might have snapped fr #still had an ok time though once i got over feeling super embarrassed about my self and dared looking other people in the eye lol ah #one thing i do like abt the culture is the genderneutrality of it all... the most long and luscious locks in the room belong to some guy #and i can show up in sport bra and oversized shirt no typa bag no makeup wearin black laceup boots that could be m or f #my gender is uh. dont worry abt it lets just turn off the lights and vibe #got talking w someone tho who said she recognised me frm a diff event & i didnt much like that idea.. im not in the mood to be Perceived at #the venue IS p cool tho... like oo at a forgotten space on the other side of the tracks. by the water. by the skate park. yea #edit HOW could i forget. the rowdiest of drunk guys got either shamed into stepping out or str8 removed fr a lil while im not sure lol #and another guy wantedto crowdsurf but only 2 of his friends came to the stage to get him so he just kinda. crawled on top of them #and they awkwardly took a few steps carrying him round the vacated front. none of the crowd wanted shit to do w them lmao

[gothamcityneedsme]

i have complex feelings about it but in td when karkat is actually like fully integrated, he is much more static because the story is... Less directly affecting him? hes there as Dave's Boyfriend largely

#Shitpost #it doesnt help that like plot wise hes literally an accessory #and im sort of. Like. Its On Purpose? #i feel a little bad about it lmao but in a way its also like. To me. #like. How its going to be when a character (metagamer nonetheless) ends up on an adventure that wasnt intended for him #hes literally Not Supposed To Be There #and hes only there because 1. Actual Coincidence 2. His Aspect (which is used to foil him and Hal) #and 3. Because i realized Dave would need a support and Karkat made the most sense for reasons 1 and 2 #because if i had no karkat dave would struggle way more in ways that dont assist the story #In my original concepts i was going to have a 'this universes karkat' but doubling the trolls was going to be too much work #so i just uh. erased them instead and decided no trolls in side A #what happened to them isnt the story and i dont want to make room for something unnecessary #(see: me keeping calliopes game offscreen even though i do know it) #(Shes playing darts by herself :) ) #Anyways. Karkat is Important he just is like a secondary cast member #And sometimes i feel bad about that but if he wasnt the story would get too crazy lol #and its already too huge haha #Not tagging with the fic tag because idk

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good

#winston billions #the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but #actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things.... #that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales #(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions) #(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on) #give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful #even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations #meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device] #being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real #AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character. #winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like #just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian #like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like #that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more #info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up #and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted #or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects] #winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character #rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation #and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal #well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot... #a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh] #and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it.... #most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live #even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol #plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy #and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke #and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7 #but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f

[notjanine]

the post-grad unemployment blues have not been helping my annual summer depression, so my brain has been... not great. my lease is up in just a few days, but i can't move into a new apartment until i know where i'll be working. i'm having to put all my shit in storage until i can find something. it's been rough.* but i spent a few days at Books' this week and even though everything sucks, they did a lovely job cheering me up. when i got to theirs, they surprised me with a silly and refreshing beverage i'd previously mentioned in passing that i wanted to try** and this book that they picked up from work.*** then they took me to their campus so we could play board games on the massive group study tables.**** we got dinner at my favorite ethiopian place in the city. we cozied up in bed and double featured they cloned tyrone and the lighthouse (which they hadn't seen before). i finally got to an alamo drafthouse weird wednesday! we saw let the corpses tan,***** after a delightfully nasty late night diner breakfast. we played mario kart and i lost, terribly, but still had fun.

i also had an interview yesterday, for a job that sounds like a great fit for me.****** all of my interviews so far have been strange, for one reason or another, but this one may have been the strangest- because halfway through, the interviewer started pitching me a different position that sounds AMAZING.******* i'd be happy with either. i really hope this works out. i should be having a second interview next week.

i'm back at my apartment now and i have to be out by monday afternoon. i'm glad to be leaving this place, even though things are still so up in the air. and even though i haven't been my best lately, i'm glad to know that i am still loved.

#*i am about to be lower case h homeless but i am very lucky that i have enough support to make it through this without tremendous difficulty #however i might have to go back home which... i do not feel ready for. and i don't want to be away from Books for too long #**i'm in t*xas so there are hardcore topo chico heads and i had never had it before #i didn't care until a friend was talking about how much she hated it bc it was like drinking tv static #***i had already packed my books and only left one fiction book unpacked to read while i'm going thru this and this one is verrrry differen #which is good i need variety! #****everdell is like Our Game and the wee tables in my apt are only just big enough to play on (no room in Books' tiny studio to play it) #and Books also has the spirecrest expansion- but we hadn't gotten to play bc we didn't have the space! #it was so fun to actually do such a big game (it took maybe two hours and the entire six foot table lmao) #(i won but it was close! which usually happens when we play games we're well-matched but not too competitive so it's always a fun challenge #***** LOVED it #******similar to but more intense and challenging than my fav internship rotation. at a cool and pretty unique hospital in a great location #*******full time w benefits and travel. it sounds... SO good for my adhd. lots of novelty and adapting to new situations!

[struggling-to-find-home]

Sometimes I remember the fact that one time during camp me & four other girls got sent to live in a cabin meant for 25+ people by ourselves and during the three weeks we spent there had the biggest amounts of horror experiences I've ever experienced in a single camp trip and I just think to myself, what the fuck

#oh also there was a creepy sixth girl who wasn't from the camp but just. occasionally stayed in our room #we had a counselor living with us because you can't let 5 (6?) 10-11 year olds live by themselves & it did little to stop the shenanigans #mostly because it's much less stressful for her to be dealing with 5 (6?) kids than managing a whole ass 25 of them so she was more lax #I think what led to it is that the cabin was VERY isolated‚ the windows we had only opening to this forest of pine trees #so you had this creepy ass atmosphere + the solitude + the lack of internet access + the fact that all of us where into creepy stuff #but like. Either all of us had collective phycosis or there really WAS something up with the cabin because unexplained things did happen #istg I have been there four times and every single one the amount of shenanigans happening was obnoxious #first time we had a mixed age group so there was like a five year difference between the oldest and youngest in the group #second time was this creepy shit‚ third time I managed to accidentally aquire a harem of 5 dudes at age 12‚ and fourth was my gay awakening #I've got more core memories related to that camp than to my last school lmao

[onepiexe]

ok i can talk abt work now. i got hired to assist the main person who runs inventory and communicates with the vendors, orders plants and products etc etc. its been hard and mostly office work but insanely rewarding.

#logbook #they have me sitting at a desk ik they had to pull from someones ass in the corner of the main room next to her #this first week i went thru and counted every perennial they have on property and then went into the system and cycle counted it properly. #come mon i go back thru sales and if a plant want sold in 22 then i archive it. . .going to be so much work lol #i miss working outside with every fiber of my being but im also starting from the bottom with this job. . .im not at the top of pack here. #and ive been enjoying this aspect of the plant world so im honestly satisfied for right now. and i love the ppl i work with in the office. #we had a staff meeting yesterday and i texted c after going 'man im so relieved to know they still have workplace problems lol' #cause its really a priveledge to work in a garden center like this. . .imo. #anyways im full time<3 and ive been told i can come in earlier then i have been come march. #plus i get an employee discount lol. . .going to be so bad with the houseplants. theres a fern i really want if its still there mon. #im apparently doing all the work faster than anyone expected. .i thought i was going slow lmao #also she let me into the system on my first day and she told me she never does that. . .i was like 🥺 #also i texted j this week and she said that the b+tes ppl go into l+wes and get lumber and said i was a hard worker and good!! #i was like ???? hello??? bc at that point id only worked 2 days. . and i still dont know who it was either. #ive been having fun tho. this week i'll take pics of the plants that are actually flowering. . .and some shrub closeups. #also checked in my first delivery on wed i think. it was fine. ik product and can count and i care so its not like its hard. . #going to be doing that all spring. . .whew.

[tardis--dreams]

To summarize today's day in university:

- got diagnosed with social phobia by a class mate (bitch?!)

- heard a Very cool lecture/presentation by a guest lecturer

- our lecturer said she kinda liked our idea for our presentation

- had lunch with friends in the uni canteen which was nice but evoked some existential despair

#about that social phobia thing: first she showed me the term on her phone during a seminar (when she couldn't talk loudly) #asking if i had that to which i said no i do not?! #then after class she again said 'i think you have social phobia. because you don't like talking to people or in class' *nodding knowingly* #to which i again said i did Not have it but ok whatever #because hello?! the only person allowed to say i have social anxiety is Me. fuck you?! #like I DO say i have social anxiety because i do i guess. but a) not talking in class is not an indicator for this #b) i Do talk in class lmao. and I've never actually had any problems around her regarding anxiety #like i have no problem talking to classmates or saying something in the classes we have together so Fuck Off?! #(i mean it is a giant problem sometimes in some contexts but STILL. YOU DON'T GET TO 'DIAGNOSE' ME. #i hereby officially undiagnose myself from that thank you very much) #ANYWAY do you know the feeling of meeting someone you really look up to like maybe an author or a musician or whatever in REAL LIFE #AND YOU GET TO TALK TO THEM? that excitement where you're like 'omg i can't believe that's happening i can't believe you're here in a room #with me TALKING TO ME? and I get to hear about something unpublished you're working on rn?? like exclusive insight into current research??? #that was me today during that presentation by that guest lecturer! I've read most of her articles and at some point idk i guess you find #researchers in your field whose work you just find Very interesting and then when you get to meet them it feels a little unreal #(not to fangirl over a linguist or anything. i rarely do that (don't speak to me about my favorite lecturer who i also totally don't see as #a huge inspiration or anything)) #but yeah also i was so worried about the presentation next week but now our lecturer said she didn't hate the topic I'm more chill about it #AND yeah sorry folks‚ healthcare doesn't exist here :( no i can't help you find a doctor there's no hope just accept it #I LOVE the fact that international students keep bringing up this topic! the sheer despair and Anxiety you get to hear about! fantastic! #like I'm sorry about this obviously but that's just how we live here? What do you MEAN in your country you just can go to a doctor FOR FREE #and they'll help you? what yeah man I'll come to Russia with you! (seriously. this is one of the main things preventing people from staying #here. the absolute Lack of healthcare. people who are like 'yeah i love it here but honestly? I'm too scared something might happen #and then no one will help me.. yep. understandable. i have just accepted that i will die due to this #but if you have the option to go (back) to a country where things are different I'd do that tbh. #(sorry just normal lunch conversation topics we have here #i still feel very nice and fuzzy because i was invited ahahaha (i have a sad life lmao)) #shut up amy #university ramblings

[nomaishuttle]

justt realized that th site i ws using t figure out my salary assumed id be working 56 hours a week when in reality i usually work likee 15 hours a week max . im gonna throw up Lol Lol Lol

#idk how on earth id get that many hours And also if i had that many hours id kill my shellfish #its still gonna be a fine amt of money ill make rent nd everything but im gonna have a lot less t put into savings #im so fuckin stupid idk why i didnt check how many hours itd be. ughhh #bc like. i need at least 2 days off a week for appts + my sanity #preferably itd be 3 days a week off but. sigh #so if im working 5 days of th week and im doing..lets say 50 hours a week thats 10 hours a day thats 20 rooms a day. lmao. lmao #even if i only take 1 day off which i quite literally cannot do thats 8.3 hours a day #which is. more doable but thats still like. 16 rooms? which has only happened to me like..once #th one time i worked 9 hours i genuinely intended to kms abt it. bc i ws in so much pain #n my pains gotten a lot better now but i still dont think i cn do that. Agghhh aghhhh #n if i do th starbucks job. well 1 if i ws in customer service id kms. i hate talking to ppl my hearing is too bad for it i cannot do it #but even if i did ik for a fact that i wouldnt get that many hours.. sigh #whatevr. frows up #ok. doing th math it shouldnt be that bad it will literallly be ok. i just need t calm down #most days at my current place are 3-5 hours #n idk how long theyll be at th new place but i assume theyll be similar.. #but. that wuld have me making anywhere from 1002-1670 a month #which is good . rent is 380.. so i should be making likee. anywhere from 2.5 times rent to a little bit more than quadruple rent... both r #good. bc then i cn put abt 300-500 in savings each week and have some left over... okokok #calming down now . smile

[coralreeferband]

The girl I had a weird antagonistic relationship with in college is getting married

Good luck to that guy

#she hated me so fucking much for pretty much no reason #just because I was better friends with our other roommates #like…sorry that we were high school friends??? #also she was the only roommate to constantly shit on business majors while I was in the room #also senior year a bunch of us went on a cruise and she was so pissed I was invited #lmao #girl I hope you had a terrible time bc i was havin a ball on that bitch

[iamthescalesofjustice]

i definitely share the problem many people have of whats in my head vastly outpacing what ive actually written, but i sort of have the opposite problem with other parts of the creative process bc the thing is when i do actually write its never so much bc i sit down to write, more like the ideas that have been pressurizing finally burst forth in a chaotic torrent that drags me into a fuguelike state where there is nothing but feverishly getting the words out with minimal mind to editing or organization and eventually after at least several hours i surface and find myself with like 8k new words of writing to sort through, and hope the spell is broken rather than being only a brief window of lucidity bc it wont properly be done for the next couple days actually, which is what happens sometimes

#these days i am lucky bc i usually have a typing medium at hand and can get the new writing in the form of typed files #in the past i have definitely used all sorts of things that were less than ideal bc the writing frenzy hit in inconvenient circumstances #i have covered paper plates front and back. scribbled in pen on the inside of water bottle wrappers. literally stolen paper from nearby #printers or on a few occasions /ripped blank pages from unattended notebooks belonging to others/ bc thats how bad the Need to write is #obviously at that point i had already run out of room on my hands arms and available sections of my legs so i was desperate #i once had no better writing tool available than green icing so guess what? i used it and later had to transfer the notes worth salvaging #to actual pen and paper once available bc icing attracts ants so it couldnt stay #in drama i covered a piece of scrap wood all over with writing while having a psychotic episode and people called it the board of prophecy #and this is just counting the times it has actually been story/character/worldbuilding notes and scene/dialogue fragments and timelines #yknow actually useful creative stuff? as opposed to just randomly Needing to Write Anything Just To Be Writing And Have Written which #has produced stuff of wildly varying content and quality over the years lmao #anyway under no circumstances be jealous of 'actually being able to get the words out' lmao its losing days of your life to it #its not being able to eat or drink or sleep even when your brain is released from the frenzy enough to remember that those 1) are things #and 2) you need to do them. its missing important events you needed to go to and important things you needed to do #and not being able to explain why without gambling over your continued freedom and autonomy #etc etc anyway guess why im mentioning this? hint it has to do with the new folder in my notes app with a total of ~32k new content in it #most of which is Fun and Fresh but with a dash of Throwing In Some Revitalized Versions of Old Ideas and which holds so much potential as a #new thing to occupy my days with for the next few months at least and which also. crucially. stole several days of my life from me #i only stopped bc i hit cluster headache time and was forcibly jolted from being able to process anything that wasnt overwhelming pain