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#also idk how to talk about this with my dad rn
kulvefaggoth · 3 months
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rockpapertheodore · 4 months
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"You talk like a boy, but you're a girl!"
Young, precious, precious 6 year old child, I adore you. I couldn't help respond with, "oh yeah? Is that your official diagnosis, doctor?" in affectionate awe.
She, of course, was basing her observation upon my clean-shaven face, and BEAUTIFULLY GLOSSY, LUXURIOUS HAIR TAMED INTO A HUMBLE, OVER-THE-SHOULDER BRAID. Not sure how to explain that it's more complicated than that while her mother was right there waiting for her card to finish running through, I successfully deflected entirely with, "girl, I've had this braid longer than you've been alive," like... like I was some sort of boomer... but I at least kept it cheeky with how I said it so it was clear I was having fun.
Her mom was kind of embarrassed?? I think. Which she shouldn't be, because it was cute as shit. She also complimented my hair and then said it looked really good on me and not knowing on how to reply to that, I just did my patented THOUSAND-WATT GRIN OF DEFLECTION with a big "AWW, THANK YOU MA'AM. RECEIPT? NO? HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY" because I wasn't sure how to take the sudden change in tone of voice idk
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minimoefoe · 10 months
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someone on twitter mentioned how the daughter troy allegedly has in 8b could be an adoptive daughter and not a bio daughter and I lowkey can't stop thinking about it bc I feel like that would solve all the problems/hesitations I have about troy having a kid
the idea of troy having a kid with someone just absolutely does not compute in my mind. like... troy getting with someone and potentially being in a relationship and then having a child??? genuinely baffling to me. and idk maybe that's just bc I have the s3 version of him in my mind and when we see 8b troy he'll be different enough that him having a kid would compute more? but rn something about that doesn't feel very troy
but the idea of him having an adoptive child, like maybe he had friends who had a kid and something happened to them and he made a promise to look after the kid or maybe it was even kinda he got lumped with looking after this kid and over time they got closer and now he thinks kf her as a daughter? idk I think something like that sounds wayyyy more interesting than him just having a daughter via some relationship he was in
#twd txt#troy otto#fear the walking dead#ngl when i first saw ppl talking about the daughter rumour i was like 😬😬 i dont think i have any interesting in seeing troy as a dad#and like..#to a degree i still am not fully on board with it#even tho man getting stuck with a kid to look after is a trope that i love a lot#i just didnt have that in mind when it came to troy#idk#i think its hard for me to decide how i feel fully rn bc we havent seen anything#its very possible that we'll see him in the eps and ill be like Yes i love thisgiving him a kid was a 10/10 decision#ALSO#bc we only have 6 eps of 8b and the odds of him being in every one is slim im like i wonder how good we're really gonna have it#like this is surely nlt ablut to become the troy show#theres other characters thatll be getting focus#i think my excitement at the fact we're 100% getting troy back outweighs any concerns i have like... hes gonna be on my screen again so#im HAPPY#i do have worries but i also have hope that itll be good#i havent even seen s6-8a yet lmao ive got a few eps of s5 to watch#i also see a random person on twitter speculate about there being another spin-off coming with some ftwd characters#featuring madison and strand or madisokn and troy maybe#and like i have zero idea how legit that speculation is like they could be absolutely waffling#but i would kill for a troy and madison spinoff like#that feels so insane and perfect that im like theres no way thats happening lmaoo#ALSO idek how legit that daughter rumlur is 😭 but from what i know of s8 there is a saving kids mission involved so it does make sense
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing#ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like#visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do#so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible#mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done#but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing#how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate#and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem#it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research#assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head#and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck#it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads#to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed#bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me#so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a#slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would#b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated
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ban-joey · 7 months
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sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school
#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful#did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w#possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting#plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there#my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh!#not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO#i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig#need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn#but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :)#like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends.#even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP#idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus#yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted)#a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay!#im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid.#he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party#and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate#and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :)#and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING#good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT
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glass-trash-bab · 9 months
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I always get the urge to post on tumblr when I'm feeling crazy. Most of the time, it's from lack of sleep.
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firstfandomfangirl · 1 year
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:/
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asexualjedi · 1 year
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Being like yeah my mental health isn’t that bad haha. Like I wish it were better but the depression isn’t that bad.
*sees how worried my family is about me*
Haha not going to think to closely about that haha maybe the just learned what depression was haha. Or realized I wasn’t joking before about depression I’m not haha in a worse place than normal
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the-acid-pear · 15 minutes
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭
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radiotorn · 24 days
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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voulezloux · 26 days
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#proceed at your own risk i’m back again w/ more shit#had to text my therapist today bc i had like#come to the realization that i was craving the pain that i got when i used to sh#i’m not an active harm to myself i wouldn’t do it again and im not suicidal#but i just had this intense need to have the same pain i got when i sh’d#& scared my mom <3 & she told me to text my therapist <3#she told me to journal and idk how to fucking do that#so i have trauma workbooks coming in tomorrow as well as a copy of wreck this journal#i figured wrecking the journal would be the closest i can get to sh without actually doing it#idk my life fucking sucks rn and i want things to be fucking done i want to be future me not going through this#i feel like i’m being too dependent on bean for comfort and like that’s fucking dumb#i feel bad for just not being okay even tho i know it’s okay to not be okay especially rb#i also just knwo#that my dad is waiting for me to come back to him#hat in hand and tail between my legs to apologize for being mean to him :-(#bc obviously i’m the one who did everything wrong!#i hate being the 7 year old hiding in the pantry#i’ve been hiding in the pantry my whole life to make my dad comfortable#it also hurts to read back on the screenshots and see that my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me#like i’m not purposely doing it but i have to remember detials when i talk about it to my mom#and it’s just a big ol reminder that my dad didn’t refute any part of my texts#that said i never felt like i was important to him or that i was an afterthought or i wasn’t a priority to him#like he cherry picked things he responded to#he focused on me calling my sister the favorite child and the park i chose instead of like#literally anything else#he apologized for making me feel like an afterthought but never told me that i wasn’t one to him which ig is nitpicky#but he never once in any of the messages tries to comfort me or reassure me that what i was saying wasn’t true#plus he threw in my face that HES been through trauma and he was just SHARING his childhood with his KIDS#like thanks dad! say it with your whole chest you don’t give a fuck about what you did to me! or the affect it’s had on me#he ‘didn’t want to trigger me’ but dude you fucking made things right with your EX WIFE and not your fucking SON
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ceolocunt · 26 days
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#today has been. such an insane day I dotn even know where to start#there is so much on my mind about my panrets and my sister and my friends and#im drunk rn btw. which explains everything#but I just dont kno whow to even begin to unpack how im feelin#I dont know where to start#I feel like im a million miles from all my friends because I AM (physically) (emotionally)#and I feel like im a million miles from my parents because I AM (emotionally)#I feel like im a million miles from help#ive been looking into residential programs and my therapist has supported this but I just have no idea how id approach this idea to my pare#parents.#bc I have in the past and like.#idk I just keep replaying this fucking memory of me showing my mom a hospital and saying “this looks like somewhere good for me"#and her saying “for your sister?” <- or smth like that. its been a year#im just. sad. all the time and especially when im drunk#me when the depressant depresses 🤯 aint no wayyyyy#but yeah its crazy how my parents are too tired to start shit to point out the obvious self harm scars ive gained since january.#shocker!!! <- this is a pattern#my parents love ignoring my self harm#im just so tired#im so tired#this is going to be a really hard summer I really need people to check in on me. hopefully#ill do what I can do talk to other people#also the urge to buy a pack of cigs is so fucking strong. I miss weed. I miss anything thats not fucking alcohol. I hate it!!! and yet#ironic my dad gave me his 30 days sober coin as a gift and now im drunk off my ass#also my ex texted me today im normal about that too. fuck that guy fr#anyway. idk. I havent showered yet tonight but I know im gonna regret it when I do. im just so sad and tired and done#its not even relapsing if ive been conisistently self harming for the past 6+++ months lmao I need to stop lying to myself. but I wont#im just tired. I want a hug. I want to stop being the one people rely on. I want to be loved without it feeling conditional#maybe I want too much and this is my punishment
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sagxshi · 9 months
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i fucking hate everything about applying for mcat fee assistance this shit fucking sucks fuck the aamc
#splatter speaks#personal //#dont rb///#like. the whole thing is super fucking classist. its not enough to say that youre poor and submit like tax returns. no they want like 15#goddamn documents. they want some from each parent (even if you dont live with them. i havent lived with my dad in decades and they still#wanted like. welfare statements. ). i actually just had to resubmit a bunch of forms bc they werent Precise enough.#it took me fucking MONTHS!!! to get everything together thanks to bureaucratic nonsense!!!#i started this application in JUNE. it is now SEPTEMBER.#like listen i wouldve given up if it werent for how fucking much i want to pursue medicine.#i stfg they do this on purpose to prevent poor people from applying.#this would be so helpful. like it means i dont have to pay as much to send each school app later (it costs hundreds per school). and it#also drops the price of the MCAT exam itself from $330 to $150.#i dont plan on taking it more than i have to but still. any little bit helps.#listen idk this turned into a whole ass rant. plus i have work tomorrow and i spent like 3 hours precharting bc we have 47 fucking patients#tomorrow for some fucking reason. who the fuck decided that would be ok. we normally see high 30s if that.#oh and this isnt even touching the fact i have to write a second essay talking about why i identify as like. a marginalized group. like. im#fucking disabled dude. why are you making it Harder for disabled people and not making the abled people write about why THEY should get in.#jk i know why!!! its ableism!!!!#jesus christ. im so drained. like yall i just want to be a forensic pathologist SO BAD. ive been aiming for that since high school#i know medicine is a horrible field rn but like. i genuinely want to do it.#anyways idk how else to say it. plus my hands hurt from typing all this
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vanillabat99 · 10 months
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I just tried registering for a class for September, and it did not go well ._.
First of all, "Highschol Upgrading" and "Continuing Education" are VAGUE AS FUCK!!!! What do those even mean??? Which one am I??? Who knows!! There's no information anywhere on the website for which set of courses I should look at!!!!
And then!! Once I finally found my way to a schedule page, there was tiny print at the bottom that said that the daytime classes are for students 19 and under, which I am not!! So I had to click on the tiny little link next to it saying evening classes were for students 20+ (which is the ONLY thing i ever saw for students 20+ on the entire website 🙃) and look through the even smaller list of available classes!!
There's no mask mandate, nothing listed anywhere for learning accomodations, and you can't miss more than 2 days of class or else they kick you out. The courses are 480$ each. I have a year and a half of school to finish.
To add insult to injury, they don't offer any courses in French, which means I can't get my bilingual certificate, so I spent my entire education in another language just to have it thrown away at the end due to circumstances outside of my control :)))
I really don't know if it's worth it anymore. Especially since I've been out of school for a couple years already, so I don't even know which grade-level I should sign up for. I've already lost my insurance coverage, which was my only reason for trying to stay in school anyways. It's probably for the best that I can't afford the class. I'm still upset about it though ._.
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dollfacefantasy · 10 months
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Can't Help It
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pairing: dbf!leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: your dad's coworker needs a housesitter, but the house isn't the only thing you'll be sitting on (haha pls laugh)
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, masturbation, oral (m receiving), age gap (i imagine early 20s/late 30s), both reader and leon are kinda pervy but not in a skeevy way <3
word count: 5.3k
a/n: hi hi i am back! this was such a pain to write for no reason, but as always, i hope people enjoy. i'm not sure what trope this really falls under, it's probably more accurate to say dcw (dad's coworker), but we'll go with dbf for convenience. i might make a part 2 of this idk. also, i know the header images are really giving graphic design is my passion but... it is what is lol. as before, thank you for all the support on my last fics. if you reblogged or commented, i'm giving you a smooch rn. and just wanna say that i do take requests. if anyone is interested, don't be shy ;) any who, feedback, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3
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When your dad’s new coworker asked if you’d be interested in housesitting for some easy money, you couldn’t find a reason to say no. Agent Kennedy, like your father, traveled for work a lot. Often gone for weeks at a time, he needed someone to watch the place and take care of menial tasks like getting the mail and watering the plants. It paid well and all you had to do was basically live in his house.
You had met him several times in passing before he offered you this job, and he was always nice to you. He would say hi when you’d come down for a snack while he talked to your dad in the living room. He’d ask how college was and about the different classes you were taking. One time he even told you about some old band he liked that he thought you would too. And that was all great.
But what was even better was that he was fine as fuck.
You had a fat crush on him from the moment you were introduced. The way his eyes pierced right through you but in the softest way. How his lips curled into a knowing smile while his hand gripped yours in a firm shake. The way he said “pretty name for a pretty girl” when you told him your name. From any other middle-aged man, that would have been so corny and had you internally shriveling up. But from him… you had to fight the urge to get on your knees then and there.
He’d approached you about watching his house, saying something about how there had been some nearby break-ins in empty houses and it would be a good way for you to get some spending money and blah blah blah. You were on board as soon as the opportunity to have more of him in your life presented itself.
Unfortunately, it was the nature of housesitting that you rarely saw your employer. You would see him when you showed up and when he came home and that was it. But those moments were enough to sustain your delusion.
The first time you came over, you walked into the house, glancing around the den of the man who enraptured you. It was pretty basic, but you figured that not being home a lot would be the reason for that. When you were done trying to psychoanalyze him from looking around his house, he gave you your own set of keys with a wink that had you blushing an embarrassing amount.
“Thank you, Mr. Kennedy,” you said softly.
“Call me Leon, Sweetheart,” he replied.
You had to look away to conceal your giddy smile. You didn’t think he noticed the effect he had on you. Or if he did, he didn’t care about your pitiful infatuation. But other times, you could have sworn he did this kind of thing on purpose.
Your first stint in the house went smoothly. You made sure to do everything he asked and even cleaned up the place a little bit. When he returned from wherever his work had taken him that time, he seemed impressed to your delight. He looked around, making small talk with you before writing your check.
“You get up to anything crazy while I was gone?” he said, smirking as he scribbled his signature on the small rectangle.
“Yeah, I was real wild - I brought out your vacuum for probably the first time.”
He laughed, handed you the check, and teasingly purred “good girl.” 
Now, he may have been joking, but your panties nearly soaked through with arousal regardless. You yet again hid your revealing expression as you said a timid goodbye and headed out to your car. You were shifting your thighs together the whole ride home, fantasizing about being a good girl for Agent Kennedy so he would relieve that ache between your legs that clouded your thoughts.
Honestly, all of this made you feel pretty pathetic. Lusting after your father’s coworker, now technically your boss, who was a good fifteen years older than you. Blushing and squirming every time he said something more than ‘hi.’ Weren’t you better than this? But then you’d see those thick biceps and mysterious eyes, and the answer in your mind would be a resounding no.
Because honestly, you weren’t better than this, you were so much worse. After the good girl incident, you decided that if he didn’t want you yet, he would. You would make sure of it. From then on, every time you were housesitting, you wore your most revealing outfits, did your hair all pretty, and even tried special perfume so you’d smell extra nice.
But none of it seemed to work. He kept up his regular teasing and charm, but to your dismay, he hadn’t railed you on that sad leather couch in the living room. You tried to convince yourself that his gazes lingered longer and that his touches were more strategic, but that felt like reach even for you. 
It was so frustrating. What more could you do? You touched his arm while he spoke. You laughed harder at his corny jokes. You even hugged him once or twice when you could justify it. You tried to drop hints every way you could without literally just trying to seduce him, and he did not seem to care. You nearly gave up. You decided that maybe you should just cut your losses and spare yourself the humiliation. Leave yourself with some dignity and resign to just being his housesitter.
You would have done this if not for the fact that he lets you sleep in his bed while he’s gone.
His house was meant for one person. It didn’t have a guest room. He told you on your first gig that you were obviously allowed to sleep in his bed since the alternative was the aforementioned sad leather couch in the living room. He told you to bring whatever you needed to be comfortable - sheets, blankets, pillows - since you’d be there for weeks at a time.
At first, it was too weird. It made you feel dirty, sleeping in his bed while harboring your secret carnal desires. But goddamn, that couch in the living room was uncomfortable. You stuck it out for the first time, but the second time you housesat, you relented and dragged your belongings back to the room you’d forbidden yourself from knowing. 
His bedroom, like the rest of the house, is pretty blank, but there’s a little more personality here. It made you feel like such a stalker, but you couldn’t help making observations, right? You got to see the type of cologne he wore, the few dusty books he kept next to his bed, what kind of stuff he crammed in the nightstand drawers. It sounded creepy, but you just had curiosity, right?
You set yourself up in his queen size bed, draping the plush blanket you brought with you across the mattress. The bed was comfy enough, but the absolute best part, the part that kept your fantasies alive and well, was the way the sheets smelled like him.
You nearly moaned when you took a deep breath, filling your nose with that familiar scent. It gave you such a rush pushing your face into those smooth gray linens. It was so wrong, but you couldn’t help shamefully slipping your fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts to play with your swollen clit. You clutch the sheets in your fists as you writhe on the bed, whining as you fantasize about your special agent.
Leon had gone years leaving his house desolate without an issue. All that nonsense about potential burglaries and spending money for you had been total bullshit. It’s not like there was anything of value in his house anyway. Those excuses served only as a way to get more of you in his life. He thought housesitting was a happy middleground, a tether to you without being obvious about his motivations.
Ever since he saw you for the first time, heading out your front door, offering a timid ‘nice to meet you,’ he had been hooked. You bewitched him with your sweet temperament, that soft laugh when he told you bad jokes, those gorgeous eyes projecting all the emotions in that pretty head of yours. God, you were so fucking cute.
You made him feel like a dirty old man, sick and perverted for coveting his colleague’s daughter. The embarrassment he felt within himself when he’d notice he was staring at your tits or imagining how your soft lips would look wrapped around his cock was immeasurable. Even though the guilt boiled inside him, he couldn’t stop himself. He craved you. He started finding more opportunities to visit your house, hoping he could steal a few moments of your time. That’s when he knew enough was enough.
Having you as his house sitter worked perfectly. He could have his moments with you without feeling too disgusted with himself. Even though he liked to tease every so often, he kept it friendly. He noticed that you, on the other hand, seemed to be doing everything to change that.
He wasn’t a fool. He could see the changes in your appearance. Those skimpy outfits you’d flaunt yourself in drove him crazy. The way you’d playfully roll your eyes and brush his arm had his cock twitching in his pants. It was becoming all the more tempting to spread you out on the dining table and take what he wanted. But he still wrestled with that part of himself that said to not take it too far. That you deserved better.
That was until you started sleeping in his bed.
He had come home after your second gig, given you your check, and sent you on your way quickly because he was exhausted from his mission. He went straight to his room and collapsed on the bed. He could tell the sheets had been freshly washed by the soft feel, but also because you were always going above and beyond to please him. Despite the recent cleaning, he swore to himself he could smell some of your perfume on them.
He looked like a madman, smelling his bed sheets for the faintest hit of that scent. He groaned, picturing you lying here, your beautiful body sprawled out on his bed. He inhaled deeper while conjuring images of your unkempt hair and sleepy eyes. It wasn’t long until his dick sprung to life as he saw images of you with one of his pillows between your legs, whimpering as you drag your dripping cunt back and forth along the fabric. He couldn’t help the need to desperately pump his cock to sinful visions of his precious girl.
This morning it’s about six when Leon unlocks the front door and quietly walks inside. He completed his mission hours before. He was tired, but it had been short, only about a week, and relatively easy. He told you he would be home in the evening, but he’d finished earlier than expected.
He trudges through the house and down the hall to his bedroom, collapsing in bed at the forefront of his mind. It’s not until he reaches the door and hears your deep breathing that it occurs to him that his bed is currently occupied. He gently pushes the door open and walks in, planning on rousing you so you could get your money and be on your way. When he sees you though, that plan vanishes from his mind.
The sight of you nearly melts him into a puddle. He pads closer to the bed, careful not to disturb you. Your shiny hair is draped across the pillow as you lie on your stomach with one leg hiked up. Your arms rest close to your face, their raised position causing your t-shirt to ride up and allowing him to see your waist. The blanket was tangled between your legs, and his eyes are immediately drawn to the junction of your thighs covered only by those thin panties you wore.
Despite your beauty, he controls himself. He pulls the blanket over your lower body and sits beside you to contemplate his next move. He came up with a few different things he could do, but all he wanted right now was to watch you sleep. He felt like such a creep, but you looked heavenly in this state. His ears strained to hear those delicate exhales coming from your parted lips.
He could just go sleep on the couch until you woke up. He could just wake you up and offer to let you stay until you had your bearings. Or he could just let himself enjoy this a little more.
He wanted to wake you though. He wasn’t fully sure of what he was doing, but if there was any part of you that had reservations he wanted to know. It would rip his heart to shreds if he frightened you somehow. He begins rubbing your back in long soothing strokes. He makes small circles with his fingers every so often. You stir a little, but don’t wake.
He continues his ministrations, smiling at your sleeping form. He uses his other hand to brush your hair from your face. He strokes the locks away from your closed eyes before leaning closer to you. He can smell that familiar scent that had driven him to humping the sheets for the last few months.
“Hey Angel, need you to wake up for me,” he coos in your ear, his hot breath fanning across the side of your head.
It slowly registers inside your unconscious mind that you aren’t dreaming. Actual fingers are coasting along your back. An actual voice is coaxing you back to reality.
A low hum emits from your throat as you shift to face the source of your disturbance. Your eyes open, still heavy from sleep, and Leon enters your field of vision. For a second, you wonder if you’re still dreaming.
“There she is,” he whispers, giving you that charming smile. He runs his fingers along your jaw and tilts your chin to turn your face completely in his direction.
You feel your brain malfunctioning as he floods your senses. The morning light coming through the window illuminating him as he looks down at you. The deep timbre of his voice speaking to you. His rough fingertips dragging across the smooth expanse of your cheek.
Soon as your eyes come into focus and your mind clears the fog of sleep a little, you grasp enough of the situation to feel a jolt of panic. It felt like you woke up late for school. You shoot up in bed and look at him with wide, apologetic eyes.
“Oh my God, Leon, I’m so sorry. I thought you wouldn’t be back until tonight. I’ll be ready in a minute. Just-” you ramble. You go to fling the blanket off of you, but remember you didn’t wear shorts to bed. You have to sit there, looking at him as you feel heat creeping to your cheeks.
“Hey, it’s alright,” he cuts you off with a quiet chuckle, gently catching your arm when you sit up, “I finished a little early. You don’t need to rush out the door. I figured you’d still be asleep.”
The look in his eyes soothes you. He has that rugged, worn out look that he gets when he comes back from missions. Your heart rate falls back down to normal levels, but your eyes still cast downwards, a little embarrassed he’d caught you unprepared. His fingers trail up and down your arm, and you shift a little to try and hide the fact that your nipples are hardening beneath the flimsy fabric of your shirt.
“Thank you. I’ll be up in a few though. I know you’re probably tired,” you say, giving him a sheepish smile.
He moves so that he’s further on the bed with you. He lays back on the pillows and looks up at you, rubbing your back how he was before you woke up. 
“Mmmm, I am, but you still don’t need to rush. I’m not gonna complain about a sweet thing like you warming my bed,” he says, that teasing smile spreading across his face and his fingers starting to trace patterns exclusively on the small of your back.
Your eyes flit away as your own smile grows on your face. How were you supposed to be normal about this? You look down at your hands in your lap and mutter a thank you.
“Honey, you really don’t need to be so shy all of the sudden,” he says softly, but there’s a smug lilt to his voice as well. You bite your lip as his hand begins fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.
He can’t help the smirk and predator-like glint in his eyes that form at your reaction. This was it. That little smile and refusal to meet his eyes was all he could stand. He was closing in now. The flirtation between you two had gone on long enough. He wanted this, and if you wanted it too, his mind couldn’t find a reason to deny the two of you any longer.
“Sweetheart, if you have something to tell me, you can come out and say it. I don’t bite. Unless you want me to,” he says as he reaches up to pull your hair behind your shoulder and out of your face, “And, lately I’m starting to think that’s what you want.”
You look over to him now, your eyes staring into his. Your limbs feel weak, disbelief coursing through your veins. Your thoughts stampede through your mind, but you eventually force the words from your throat.
“I think I want that too,” you breathe. Your heart seizes at his brows playfully rising. You lay down on the bed, resting on your side so that you and Leon are face to face. Your pulse thunders in your ears while you try to conceal how shaky your breathing is.
He scooches over to you, pushing you on to your back and propping himself on his elbow so he’s positioned above you. He leans down and presses two faint kisses to your cheeks. Pulling back, he looks into your eyes and strokes your cheek again with the same soft and slow movements.
“Think, babydoll? I think you know what you want,” he whispers, dragging his thumb over your bottom lip, “I think you’ve known for a while. Wearing all those cute little outfits, prancing through my house and brushing against me like a kitten. You were just begging for my attention.”
You squirm slightly under the spotlight of his affection. Somehow, you maintain eye contact even though every cell in you feels the urge to look away. Part of your mind wonders if he’s still teasing. If he’s about to pull away and leave you wanting.
Before you could overthink anymore, his head lowers to the crook of your neck. He takes a deep breath of you as he moves himself further on top. 
“Now, you’ve got it, but all you had to do, sweet thing, was ask,” he says as his mouth ghosts over your neck, “That’s all you have to do right now. Just want to hear that you want me as bad as I want you.”
“Yes,” you whimper without a second thought, “Please touch me.”
“That’s my good girl,” he hums as he begins kissing your neck. The kisses are soft. They’re barely there, but they’re overwhelming to you. You can’t help the pathetic sound that leaves your lips as you tilt your head back. The hand that had been touching your face trails down to your waist and begins caressing your side under your shirt.
His tongue gently laps against the skin of your neck between kisses. Your whole body is starting to heat up while simultaneously getting chills. Every inch of you aches for his touch. Your thighs subconsciously spread as your breathing becomes heavier.
Leon lets out a small laugh at your display. “You must really want this Baby. Just a few kisses and rubs and you’re already mine,” he murmurs as his lips move up your neck and down your jaw. He kisses your lips next, giving your bottom lip a little nip.
Another needy sound escapes your mouth. You return the kiss and flick your tongue against his lips. “I do, wanted this since I met you,” you moan, your body writhing for more.
“Naughty girl,” he teases against your lips, “That’s okay though, Angel. I’m the same way. Wanted a handful of these pretty tits since I saw you.” His hand moves up and kneads your breast. His fingers massage the flesh before centering and pinching your nipple. 
You whine and arch into his touch. Your eyes flutter as your face contorts with desire. He slides over you, straddling your waist. He stares down at you and takes in what was finally in his grasp. He coos for you to sit up a little while he pulls your shirt off of you. You comply and then flop back against the pillows. Now exposed from the waist up, his eyes feel even more intense. He’s locked on to the view of your tits.
“Oh, Sweetheart,” he mutters, “Even better than I imagined.” His hands cup the sides of your breasts, groping them a bit. You can now see his cock beginning to strain against his jeans. Your mouth waters at the sight, but it’s gone when he leans down to take a nipple into his mouth.
His tongue circles the peak before lapping against it, drawing more whines from you. Your body arches into his touch while his hands never let up their fondling. You take your lip between your teeth again. He moves to give the other nipple the same treatment, leaving the other one cold as the air touches the saliva-coated skin.
He plays with your breasts for a while more before drifting down your abdomen, lavishing your stomach with kisses. He squeezes your waist as he playfully tugs the hem of your panties with his teeth. He looks up at you deviously. “Your nipples were so hard, I bet your pussy’s fucking soaked for me.”
All you can do is nod, any verbal response tangled up in your esophagus. He leans back on his knees and swiftly pulls the garment off. His pupils seem blown out as he gets a look at your cunt. He pushes your thighs to your stomach, spreading you out for his gaze. You felt so exposed, at his mercy as he held you there and just looked at you. Your arms reach down and pull at the hem of his shirt.
“Wanna see you too,” you whimper with pleading eyes.
“Yeah?” he says with a soft smile. He leans back and pulls his shirt off. It takes everything in you to hold back a gasp. “Been fantasizing about me, have you?”
Your eyes rake along his chiseled abdomen, drinking in every line and shadow of his muscular frame. You reach out and pull him back on top of you. His grin grows, and he indulges you. You connect your mouths again, this time sliding your tongue inside his. He groans at your sudden eagerness. He runs his hand through your hair while you feel up his back, exploring the definition there.
You give him a little push, signaling that you want to roll over. His body flips over and takes you with him so that you’re positioned how you wanted. You make out for a minute more until you pull back, looking at him with your lustful eyes and swollen lips.
“Wanna suck your cock,” you say simply, sliding down his body so that you’re lying between his legs. You nuzzle against the bulge in his pants before unzipping them and tugging them down.
His eyes follow your every movement. He pets your head as you rub your face against the outline of his dick. He tilts his head back and lets out a sigh. 
“That’s a good girl, just gotta give you some love and then you loosen up, don’t you?” he coos.
“Mhm,” you hum. You kiss his solid length over the cloth of his boxers. Then, finally, what you had been waiting for since meeting Leon. You loop your fingers over the waistband of his underwear and pull them down, unveiling his beautiful cock.
You wrap your fingers around it, just an exploratory touch. You feel the veins in your hold and the heat radiating from his shaft. You slowly bring your head to the tip to give him some tiny licks. Your eyes dart to his face, looking for approval.
Leon’s chest ached from the way you were looking at him like he was a god. When your tongue sticks out and your eyes return his stare, he nods at you and keeps stroking your hair. Your lips soon wrap around the tip, and you bob your head a little. He groans and his hips twitch.
“That’s a good girl, baby. Good fucking girl,” he moans as your head slides further down his member. His fingers lace through your hair, pulling a little.
The praise only makes you more enthusiastic. You move up and down with more speed, making lewd slurping noises as you work. His hand on your head and his sounds of pleasure has heat collecting in your belly, leaking out of your dripping pussy.
His head rests against the head board as he watches you with half-open eyes. His eyes squeeze shut and his body tenses as you push your head all the way down, taking him into your throat. Spit trickles from your mouth and drips on to his pelvis.
“Fuck, Sweetheart,” he whimpers, tugging on your hair a little. You taste his pre cum leaking on your tongue. A gagging noise comes from you and his hips twitch harder. He barely restrains himself from bucking up and lodging himself deeper in your throat. You moan around his cock, driving him even crazier. He feels the rush of an orgasm approaching and tugs your hair with more firmness, guiding your head up and off his lap. You whine softly as you lose the taste of him.
“Sorry, pretty girl, don’t wanna cum just yet,” he says.
You crawl back up his body, so you’re in his arms again. You kiss his cheeks and the corners of his mouth as he rolls the two of you over so he’s on top again. He connects your lips in a deep kiss, tasting himself on you as he drags the tip of his cock through your slippery folds.
He doesn’t tease for long though. Soon enough, he’s pushing himself into your tight cunt. You both let out a symphony of sinful noises. Leon watches as your face contorts with pleasure as he stretches you out. You both felt a budding sense of satisfaction after finally receiving what you craved for the last several months.
He bottoms out inside of you. His head falls forward against your neck. He pants as he holds himself together and lets you adjust, keeping an iron grip on your hips. Your fluttering around him as you accommodate his girth. Your nails lightly dig into his back while you cling to him.
He begins thrusting with slow and deep strokes. You moan out his name a few times with a variety of expletives. He keeps his face buried in your neck, grunting as he feels the velvety sensation of your walls around his length. His motions become more fluid as he finds a rhythm with you.
“That’s right Angel, better than your dreams?” he murmurs against your neck.
“Yes, fuck, yes,” you whimper, “So much better. Think your cock was made for me.”
“That so, Baby? I’m made to fill up a precious girl like you? Keep you happy and full of cum,” he growls into your neck, his thrusts gaining intensity.
You nod thoughtlessly as he continues battering your insides, gliding over your sweet spot repeatedly.Your arms wrap tighter around him as you feel yourself getting dragged closer and closer to the edge. Your noises become more strained as Leon lays sloppy kisses on the side of your head.
He hooks his arms underneath your knees and brings your thighs up to your abdomen again. His arm loops around and thumbs your clit as he slams himself in and out. Your back arches and you squirm from the rush of white hot pleasure. You’re right there, not able to hold on for much longer.
“I’m gonna have you so full of my cum today, it’s gonna be dripping out of you still the next time you’re here,” he grunts into your ear, “Make sure your pussy remembers me till I can fill her again.”
His vulgar words rip a high pitched moan from your throat and cause your eyes to roll back. “Fuck, Leon, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper.
“Go ahead, sweet girl. Squeeze me nice and tight,” he moans, his own voice getting strained.
You do as he says. The orgasm overtakes you. You release a strangled cry as your body rhythmically rolls into the feeling. Your pussy clamps around Leon tight, sucking him deep and keeping the attention on that blissful spot. The thrill of satisfaction rushing through your mind only works you further. Your eyes flutter and your lips part as you completely let go.
As he watches you cum, he notes that it might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The sight of your gorgeous body writhing and trembling because of him. The primal sounds of your moans and cries. It’s too much for him. He growls and grunts into your neck, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips. He snaps even harder into you and floods you with his sticky, hot cum.
You both ride the waves of euphoria together until you both start coming down. He basically collapses on you as he catches his breath and you wipe the sweat from your brow. After a minute, he pushes himself off of you and flat on to the bed next to you. He gazes at the ceiling as his chest continues to rise and fall with the need for more oxygen.
You sit up slowly, realizing he probably wants you gone now. Like he said, you feel his cum leaking out of you as you move to grab your panties from the corner of his bed. This is how you expected it to be, but it still hurt a little. Nothing you couldn’t handle though. Your pulling them back on when your snapped out of your thoughts by Leon’s arm around your waist, dragging you to him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks teasingly, spooning you and softly kissing beneath your ear, “You got what you wanted and now you’re running out?”
“Oh, uhhh… I thought you’d want me to leave,” you say quietly.
He guides your face so you’re looking at him. His eyes are still soft but more serious. “You think I would just fuck you and then throw you out on your ass? You’ve been sleeping in my bed for months, but you don’t know me as well as you think,” he says and kisses your nose, “You don’t have anywhere to be today, yeah? You thought you’d be here till later anyway.”
You nod in agreement, your eyes casting down with some embarrassment over your assumption.
“Hey, don’t get all shy on me now. There’s no reason for it,” he teases, “We have all day for me to show you how I want to take care of you. Just give me a moment, I’m not as young as I use to be.”
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silouvertongues · 2 years
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the nerve of taylor to thank dwayne for using the ethical source of her music rn 😭
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