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tutuandscoot · 1 year

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DREAM VIRTUEMOIR PROGRAMS

1. I Want You / Paint It Black

Music:

Paint It Black (The Rolling Stones) as the main song, but because it is so fast paced and quite lyric heavy, I feel it needs an instrumental section to add some contrast. I Want You (She’s So Heavy) (The Beatles) is the song I can think of that fits the vibe- if I were to find something else less well known that fits better I would of course use that. Ideally, I would prefer to use just Paint It Black because single-song programs are so rare now but I do think it needs some kind of transition- going gang busters to Paint It Black for 3 or 4 mins would kill them. If I Want You were to be used I would definitely use the end piece… the kinda discord guitar part.. since this is of course not a real scenario I’m just going to imagine there is some ideal way to piece the songs together.

Inspiration:

I already made an IG real using Paint It Black that I set to Farrucas because it has a very similar energy and the chore and the music fit kinda well. Even though Farrucas is Spanish guitar and Paint It Black is sitar (Indian guitar) it has that similar pace. That was really just a fun little video I’m not basing any of my dream program off of that. Where I’m really taking my inspiration from for this is my favourite TV show ‘The Americas’. I’m not going to go into detail of the story because it isn’t important, just the theme, character inspiration etc.. So this show is about two KGB spies undercover in DC in the 80’s (touchy subject rn I know but let’s not worry about that). The characters are a man and woman ‘fake’ married so there is a lot of complicated love and feelings so there is that underlying theme complementing VM but really the character inspiration for this dance is just the visual of these two badasses. This is essentially a spy thriller program but finally not using James Bond music. I guess also, and you’ll see in the costumes I’ve imagined there’s also a bit visual of inspiration from the Matrix. Lastly, the styling for Sweet Dreams from TTYCT- them, like that.. I need more of that (even if it’s just in my imagination).

Chore/dance style:

This is the one part of this dream program that I can’t give a lot visual reference for- like I’m not actually gonna go choreograph it and even then, I couldn’t do it on ice or actually have VM to choreograph it on, so I’m just gonna have to give vague descriptions. This would be a modern jazz program- think similar to their 08/09 Pink Floyd program. I imagine some super epic midline/non-touch chore, some butterflies some insane foot work (esp from S) lots of sharp, fosse-ess arms, voguing type upper body work. As for lifts some of their fast-rotational lifts with T in some kind of contorted position around S head. I imagine a traveling rotational version of their first stat. lift from Latch. Probably the Prince lift. I also remembered this group dance on SYTYCD S9 by Mia Michaels (who T really wanted to work with during their career) and this is both visually, stylistically close to what I’m going for.

youtube

Costuming:

The idea of VM skating in these costumes is so exciting to me and I try not to dwell on the fact that I’ll never get to see it but oh well.

- A couple of variations on this: I’ll describe the version I’ve settled on then some other options (also please bare with me I’m not a great drawer when it comes to people and I’m still learning to use procreate).

So: Matching, slick black cat suits. Long sleeves and turtle necks. Tessa’s with a diamond-shaped back cut out with red sparkles flaring out in a gradient from the edge (similar to MR dress). Both of them will have the same red rhinestone design around the wrists (similar to her SFTD dress). T will wear black skates (not boot covers coz I hate them). T with a slick black low bun and Scott with his MR hair but slicked down a bit more (sorry I’m not gonna try draw the hair).

- Now some other alternatives I toyed with- just in my head because it took about 2 hours just to draw these ones. I originally really wanted both their costumes to be identical- S with the diamond back cut out as well but when I drew it on the model it just didn’t look good- it would probably look better on S but I’ve settled on his being solid black- essentially what he wore for LTR just jazzed up. For both of them I toyed with sparkles in the same gradient pattern around the turtle neck- but I felt it would be too much.. maybe on Scott’s since he doesn’t have the back cut out.

- Another option they could go with- because I’m not totally sold on the cat suits once they are actual costumes. In my head it looks great and I want it to be as slick as possible, but for S I’m just not sure- not for any superficial reasons… just as a costume then adding movement it would depend. An alternate to the exact same look but tight black jeans/trousers with a black belt cause I still want that streamline look and with the top part being a leotard- yes for both of them. Scott’s costumes in the past- anything tight ie: MR is a leotard that undoes underneath, much like fashion leotards.

-Now here’s the fun part that I don’t know whether (if I was choreographing/styling.. in charge of everything).. somehow I want them to wear sunglasses.. either aviators (as in Sweet Dreams) but I would have to see it styled first to see if aviators would work and if not I would go with kinda, Matrix style glasses- like that more 80’s style. I can’t imagine these being used for the whole program, or at least down over their eyes for the whole program, I don’t really know it would have to be experimented with but I definitely like that as a visual and would make for some cool chore and partner work.

Short/Free/Exhibition:

So, in order to get some truly epic step sequences it would have to be a comp program. I feel I’m leaning towards a SD rather FD, just with the pace of Paint It Black that’s a lot for a 4 min program- imagining the split would be probably 2-3 mins PIB and the remaining IWY (or alternate instrumental) so with a SD having the split 2-1 (minutes) seems more manageable- not just for VM but choreographically filling 2-3 mins of chore to Paint In Black matching the pace is… a lot.. having said that, it feels wrong to only cut a 1 min section of the I Want You outro so I’m not sure, but I’m leaning towards SD. In this imaginary scenario of course, we are ignoring set rhythms and compulsory patterns (even though that’s not a thing anymore). I said in my IG reel using PIB (for the FS history buffs) that the 10/11 season OD theme was set to be 50/60/70 music- and of course there was no set pattern in the OD format so no need to worry about fitting time signatures/BPM. That of course did not happen and the CD + OD were scraped and they brought in the SD. I don’t feel or more I couldn’t see them skating this dream program I’ve imagined when they were just 21/23 anyway- I feel like it would require more maturity in movement-more sensuality, and just more exploration of dance styles since they hadn’t done a lot of ‘jazz’ at that point. I can just imagine it being a better program if performed in their comeback era. So I think it would be shame not to see a program this epic in competition, however it also really excites me the prospect of seeing it under lights and from a set design perspective we could do some really interesting things with spotlights/strobes/lighting design in general. This is all theoretical anyway so we don’t need to choose… maybe there can be a comp version and a show version.

Let me know your thoughts on this dream program. I have a whole list of others ready to dream up as well!

#dream VM programs #Youtube

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eponymous-rose · 5 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E80 (October 15, 2019)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Announcements: The collected edition of the first six-issue run of Vox Machina: Origins is available in trade paperback format at your local comic and retail shops! (The standard, hardcover edition is also now available in both the US and UK Critical Role online shops.) Pub Draw is back on Wednesday at 5 PM Pacific, featuring special guest Mica Burton! Undeadwood, the four-part supernatural miniseries featuring Brian as Game Marshal, premieres this Friday at 7 PM Pacific (VOD available immediately for Twitch subscribers, then up on YouTube on Sundays)!

Episode 80: The Folding Halls

Stats for episode 80: Caduceus received the campaign’s 40th whisper to insight check Allura. Taliesin has received the most whispers this campaign, with 17. Caduceus rolled his 10th Natural 1, disregarded thanks to Warcaster. (There’s a brief digression into the Brave Little Toaster-esque adventures the Golden Snitch must be having.) It’s been 90 days since the Mighty Nein were last in the Heirloom Sphere. Nott called Allura four misnomers (Beau chimed in with one). Matt sighs heavily. “Yeah.”

Allura’s reintroduction was mainly related to the logical development of how Yussa’s circumstances would’ve evolved, and Matt figured it would be fun to have the connection to the Arcana Pansophical... and bringing Allura in just followed naturally, of course. Of course. (Also because it was fun.)

“The minute the description kicked in, it was definitely some candy. Okay, this is nice, this is everything I needed right now.” Taliesin points out that Caduceus just loves meeting new people anyway, especially if they seem chill. He’s hoping this might be something that mellows the group a little.

Taliesin’s expression during the insight check on Allura? “I was entirely fucking with everyone at the table. I was just trying to make some weird faces to try to mess with Travis.”

Matt found it “pretty strange” to bring Allura back, particularly since 20 years have passed. “It was wild to step into her again, especially with an entirely new surrounding.” It was also a bit harder than he expected given the players’ particularly rambunctious reactions. But in the end it was like putting on a favorite coat and finding it still fit.

Taliesin: “Caduceus is like my version of Grog at this point. I can get away with a lot of things I couldn’t get away with otherwise.”

Best/worst nicknames the players have come up with for Matt’s cool shit? It’s more the NPC names that get him. Jamedi Cosko, auditors, Purvan (”but I should’ve known better; it’s my fault for not saying it out loud”).

It’s strongly implied that Taliesin may have stabbed Julius Caesar. As you do.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Raven Queen (sacook03, photo by emi_d_123)!

Caduceus genuinely hasn’t thought about how the Happy Fun Ball is completely artificial and hence might be outside the purview of the Wildmother. “I don’t think he understands what the Ball is enough to be really disturbed by it yet.” As far as he knows, they just got teleported to a forest somewhere. The “M.C. Escher nightmare in front of us” might be enough to clue him in next episode. Caduceus typically gets his reactions from everyone else, depending on whether he thinks they might be on-base or off-base.

Brian: “You don’t have to say it so much sexier than I did!” Matt: “Of course I do!”

Caduceus feels pretty justified in all his previous assertions that the Nein should be more honest now that it’s been confirmed that the Bright Queen is spying on them. “Let’s just put everything on the table. Put stuff out there, see what happens. It sounds good in theory, I’m well aware.” Matt wasn’t expecting the reveal of the spying to happen as soon as it did.

Taliesin: “You gotta save your mistruths for the moments when it’s going to help make somebody a better person.”

Matt mentioned on a previous Talks that the Heirloom Sphere was just supposed to be a fun one-off adventure, and he wasn’t expecting the group to hold onto it and then hand it off to a more powerful mage. He realized that Yussa would immediately have been interested in it, and as time went on, he thought about what would have developed, and realized Yussa would’ve been a bit too curious and arrogant not to try wandering in. “A lot of it was just rationalizing those possibilities, and then tying in the elements of the Laughing Hand.” Matt noticed that Laura brought it up as a possibility in an earlier episode after a subtle hint.

Caduceus is hoping that this is “finally going to be the moment where everyone starts working together the way they do in his head”, which is part of why he keeps checking in on the others right now. He’s aware that there are a lot of temptations in this place.

Allura saw some similar elements between the M9 and VM (mainly that they were so quick to offer up information about themselves to help out). She’s honestly mostly fine with guiding them because it means she doesn’t have to go in the Happy Fun Ball.

Caduceus basically considers all interactions with flora and fauna a success. “Never hurts to be polite. But, honestly, it’s not about cooperation, it’s just about being polite and respectful of your environment. If the local flora and fauna are being irritable, it honestly probably has very little to do with him.”

“The frog hurt. I will admit, the frog hurt.”

Fave piece of lore Matt’s gotten to drop? “The recent episode was really fun to help Beau connect the dots between the Laughing Hand and the Halls.” He’s also really enjoyed giving information about some of the more “vague inconsistencies” with the Angel of Irons. Also anything with the Kryn Dynasty and the Luxon; he likes getting to move out of the usual lore of D&D to surprise the players.

Fan Art of the Week: Essek, Frumpkin, Caleb, and the dodecahedron (by bumblefly02)!

Caduceus sees himself as a bit of a spiritual guide to Fjord. “He’s looking for moments to have some conversation and reward some behavior.” Right now, he wants to talk to Fjord about how this is an ongoing process, not an immediate “cure”. Taliesin and Travis didn’t talk about this development ahead of time.

Matt notes that the group had a lot of options to develop closer relationships with allies, but when they said they were stopping by to see Yussa, he knew they might be “going the Allura path”, and he was secretly excited that’s the way it went.

Taliesin: “We are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Exandria. We’re just hoping that we’re nobody’s nemesis at this point.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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echoesofstardust · 4 years

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i LOVE your virtuemoir fics so much!! paper rings killed me i loved it, you are amazing! how do you get inspiration and write so much good stuff, so consistently? xoxo

Thank you!! This is the sweetest message and has made my day so much brighter. I’m so happy that you loved paper rings. I loved writing it :)

I find that inspiration can come from pretty much anywhere. paper rings came about because I joke that in another life I’d make a kickass wedding planner, and I thought it’d make a fun vm au, especially when I had the thought that they did that wedding photoshoot as advertising.

Most of my fics come together once I pair a context-trope with a relationship-trope: for example, with paper rings, I had the idea of them as wedding planners (the context-trope) for ages but it wasn’t until I thought to do it as a fake-dating AU (the relationship-trope) that it clicked.

I’m also very much inspired by my real life a lot - I’ve written vm as pre-med students, fast food workers, musicians, and Tessa as a fic writer, which are all bits and pieces of me :)

And of course, I’ve been inspired by other people’s writings! My first vm fic I owe to @rainy-sunshine’s headcanons and I’m forever grateful for them.

Perhaps the other thing I like to be on the lookout for inspiration for are similes or metaphors to include in my writing. Especially for the in-love realisation scenes—those are my absolute fave to write.

In paper rings, I had this simile about how realising you’re in love with someone is like the moments the streetlights switch on. And that simile came about because I was driving once, and that happened, and I wondered if that’s what falling in love feels like: something quiet but sudden, in the background but can still take you by surprise.

As a relationship noob who’s never been in love, a running question in the back of my mind is ‘is that what falling in love feels like?’ and I LOVE finding the right way to express that for particular versions of vm in my fic universes.

(All these bits of inspiration live in a notebook I keep on a shelf above my desk and it’s hilariously messy and scribbled all over but it’s a good way for capturing ideas and developing them.)

Also thank you for saying I write good stuff, and consistently too—I think I write neither well nor consistently, haha. It’s just me fumbling my way around words.

But I write because I love to write, and there’s very few things in this world that brings me as much joy as writing does. I also pretty much write fics I want to read and that always gets me excited about writing it, if only to get it done so I can actually read it. And I happily and shamelessly make it as trope-y as I want it to be, because that’s what brings me joy :)

But I guess my two cents’ worth would be: to write consistently well, you just need to write consistently. To write consistently, you just need to write. And to write, you just need to begin.

(But this is also advice I’m still learning to take, haha)

And just being inspired by other writers is also a joy! Reading all the wonderful fics of this fandom and finding universes to fall in love with over and over again…that’s a gift. And if I can make one of my readers feel that joy that I felt when I read someone else’s fic when they read mine??? That’s all I can ever ask for.

#thanks for the ask!#this became ridiculously long and rambly i'm so sorry #my love for writing just kinda spilled out #thank you again for your lovely message #is this a good place to confess that i started another google doc #when i said i wouldn't while uni stuff was still hectic #😂😂😂#asks

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allthevmff · 4 years

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First Veronica Mars Fic

I'm relatively new to reading VM fanfic, but I'm currently obsessing over All That Remains by agentbartowski / @mindylahiris.

“What’s going on up there?” Logan asks, his eyes casting upward to where her weight shifts lightly.

Pensive, quiet, not always into the idea of sharing what she’s really thinking- a trait she’d unluckily inherited much to his dismay. The little girl’s fingers tap on Logan’s skull, and he imagines a pout forming on her face.

There’s a moment of silence before she mutters something inaudible into his hair.

His hand pats her thigh. “Once more, but this time for the audience,” he says in a teasing tone.

“Do you think she misses us? Mom?”

Current Read

I Know That Face by @nevertothethird

Veronica and Wallace are roommates in Chicago and heading back to Neptune for the holidays. On her first day back she encounters an old friend and she knows he's keeping a few secrets from her. That's cool because she will figure out what he's hiding. The bigger issue, though, is the mystery she's brought back with her to Neptune to try and solve. Now that will take some fine maneuvering.

Current Project

You Again

"It’s the scent that throws her off her axis first. The unmistakable smell of that cologne, the one she used to wrap herself up in and curl into. The one she used to hate as soon as it invaded her air space. The one she later sought after for comfort and release.

Logan’s cologne."

During her final year of law school at Columbia, Veronica runs into Logan during Fleet Week. She finds herself faced with the choice to continue on with her life without him, or to let him back in to try and make things work again.

Recently Completed

Hora Somni

Here's a small blurb from Hora Somni ch.2: He’s lying on his stomach with his arms tucked under the pillow, when he feels the tentative pressure of her fingers at his back. “This one’s new,” she says softly, her fingers brushing over the spot just above his hip where a stray piece of shrapnel had caught him as he dove away from the blast just in time on his last deployment. “You have the scars on my back memorized that well?” She hums, tracing over the shape of it again. “Maybe I do. Years of practice. On and off.” Her fingers still. “How’d it happen?”

Find My Fic

AO3: Oliviet

FFnet: Oliviet

Get Social

Tumblr: @tvfanatic

(I mostly use it for Taylor Swift blogging these days, but some TV posts still make it through).

Twitter: Oliviet35

I've been writing fan fiction since I was 10. Started with Charmed and only forced my friends to read it. Why they humored me and did I have no idea. Got really into SVU and Bones in high school and started writing for those fandoms. Had some one hit wonders if you will, but they make me cringe to go back and look at now. I really my found voice and honed my skills with Castle fanfic in college. Writing it became my happy place and my way to escape from the hectic demands of school. I also dabbled in some OUAT Captain Swan fics but never really found my footing there. I may have just broken into the VM fanfic world after some very strong feelings toward season 4, but I've been a part of the fanfic community for a long time and I'm excited to be starting this next chapter of my fanfic journey with all of you. :)

Complete this form to be featured in an upcoming #WriterWednesday.

#vm fanfic #veronica mars fanfic #veronicamarsfanfic #veronicamarsfanfiction #writewednesday #writer wednesday #oliviet

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soyouthinkyoucansleep · 5 years

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Battle of the Blades Episode 1 Review

For those who saw my earlier post, I got to go to the live taping of BOTB in Hamilton...my tickets were the front row (excluding VIP) so I got a really really good view! Here is my review of the show. I’m gonna talk about all of the couples in the order they skated. I was also gonna talk about the judges and some comments on the show overall but I’ll save that for another post since this is getting long.

A quick intro into the format. So during the commercial break, which is about 3 minutes, the skaters on deck get to warm up. For most of it, everyone focused on stroking with a few timers for lifts in there. The skaters are scored in the 10.0 system rather than 6.0 in the past which was a little weird. For today’s show, Tessa and Scott counted as one judge (they gave one score together). I felt like I was watching NCAA gymnastics for a bit. In the past, eliminations were based solely on viewer votes; the scores were just guidelines. Now like DWTS, its a combination of viewer votes and the judge's scores. The bottom two based on that will be required to compete in a skate-off next week and the winner of the skate-off is selected by the judges. Winner stays, loser goes home.

I went with my younger sister who is a figure skater so the technical comments come from her. It was great sitting with her to get that insight. Scroll below the cut for all my comments.

Natalie Spooner and Andrew Poje

They were the first ones to go so they had the pressure of setting the bar for everyone. Nat was away at Hockey Canada’s national team camp for about 8 days and she only got back to figure skating Monday morning, leaving three full days of rehearsals before the show.

Naturally, Natalie seemed very very nervous in this warm-up, almost looking like she was about to throw up. She kept looking at the ground while skating (a big no-no, as per my sister) and I noticed a few times Andrew reminded her to look up.

While the warm-up may have been a recipe for a bad skate, the routine was anything but! Nat had a huge smile on her face and seemed to have fun the entire time once the program got started. There was one major lift, a knee slide in there, and some footwork. Andrew and the choreographers did a good job adding a little mix of everything and they highlighted that Natalie was a strong skater (compared to many of the others). Completely forgot the fact that she’s hopping back and forth between hockey and figure skates because of her national team commitments.

They ended with 27.9 (9.3′s across the board) for T-3rd overall.

Colton Orr and Amanda Evora

Amanda is the reigning BOTB champion so there’s a little bit of expectation for her there. She’s skating for Boys & Girls Clubs of Canada in honour of a friend of hers who recently passed away (I think he’s the father of one of her students, Grace Knoop?)

Overall, they weren’t terrible but there wasn’t anything exciting about them. They did two lifts and a death spiral but the remainder mostly felt like stroking. Colton was also very right and like Kurt said, didn’t allow his lower body to move freely and separately from the upper body. Time could help with this but they were in last place with 27.4 (9.2 from Colby Armstrong, 9.1 from VM and Kurt). They will need the votes and potentially a good skate-off next week to be safe for week 3. My sister thinks they’ll be the ones to go home first and I agree with her.

Sheldon Kennedy and Kaitlyn Weaver

tw: abuse, sexual abuse

Sheldon’s intro piece focused on the abuse he suffered at the hands of his hockey coach Graham James. CBC did not shy away from the topic. They stated that Graham kept trading for Sheldon in the junior leagues so he could keep abusing him. The intro piece then showed how Sheldon took this terrible thing that happened to him and made it his life’s mission to educate the world and have these discussions so it doesn’t happen again.

What was truly amazing was how the crowd erupted in cheers for Sheldon at that part. It felt like the entire country of Canada is proud of Sheldon for the person he has become. I could see Sheldon getting a little emotional by that response.

They skated to Wake Me Up by Avicii which kinda tells the story of Sheldon wanting to run away from hockey to escape his abuse but found himself again and found joy in his life. And this routine was the literal definition of fun and joy. Sheldon and Kaitlyn had the biggest smiles on their faces and were both having the time of their life.

Not to take away from the fun, but they also skated probably the most difficult routine technically out there. There was an overhead lift. This is especially amazing considering Sheldon is only 5′10″ and Kaitlyn is 5′7″. Kaitlyn was not going easy on him and threw in a bit of the Yankee Polka pattern dance. YANKEE POLKA. AND they made sure to get the crowd involved too.

They received a well deserved, unanimous standing ovation. Like everyone was standing up, even the women with canes in the rows behind me. And they finished the night with 28.3 (9.4, 9.4, 9.5 from Kurt) in first place.

Amanda Kessel and Eric Radford

In the intro piece, you could see how much Amanda really looks up to her older brother Phil Kessel (Stanley Cup winner with Pittsburgh) and I think that’s so precious. She even chose Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto as her charity after seeing Phil bring the Stanley Cup to the kids and seeing their reactions and subsequently the work Sick Kids does for these children and their families.

Amanda and Eric skated to “Juice” by Lizzo so I was already excited for that. In terms of training footage, both Amanda and Eric posted a lot of lifts so I was excited to see what they were planning. They did do a fair number of lifts and a death spiral in there which were well executed. However, beyond that, I felt Amanda was very similar to Colton as she was very tight and rigid. Because she was the one being lifted, it was less noticeable compared to Colton–the lifts and tricks in a sense “broke apart” the tight skating. They ended in second last, with 27.7 (9.3 from Colby, 9.2 from the others)

Brian McGrattan and Vanessa James

Brian McGrattan is a Hamilton Native so this was a homecoming for him. He lives in Calgary now but a lot of family and friends were here supporting him. Brian discussed his struggles with anxiety and depression which lead to alcoholism. He then sought treatment through the NHL’s alcohol abuse program.

Side note: It’s amazing that CBC, and these hockey players, are not shying away from these difficult topics. Brian McGrattan is a 6′4″, big, tattooed, enforcer. If he can come out on national TV and say “hey I struggled with depression and anxiety and I sought help”, I hope that inspires other boys and men to not shy away from these problems. The stigma with mental health is stronger with men and boys and I think people like Brian can make a difference. So kudos to the players and CBC for having these topics.

The program overall was elegant and vulnerable which is a completely different side to what people are used to for Brian, but he pulled it off really well. Brian truly opened himself up and was committed to the program. Technically they had some amazing lifts and a good connection. Overall they scored 27.9 to tie for 3rd with Natalie and Andrew but the individual judges were all over the place a bit (9.4 from Colby, 9.3 from VM, 9.2 from Kurt)

Bruno Gervais and Ekaterina Gordeeva

I’m just gonna start off by saying Bruno Gervais is an amazing dude. Just out of the goodness of his heart essentially, he started a charity with his close friend Max Talbot (husband of former Canadian Ladies’ Champion Cynthia Phaneuf) which provides underprivileged children with opportunities, ranging from sports to funding hospitals. They started this charity together when both were just 23 years old!

Katia is a queen. That is all that needs to be said. She was referred to as the G.O.A.T. by Kurt and Ron MacLean many times throughout the night, and rightly so. Both of them worked with Elladj Balde a fair bit which was very helpful for them. Elladj is trilingual (English, Russian, and French)–Katia’s first language is Russian and Bruno’s is French so Elladj communicated with them in their respective mother tongues.

Elladj’s influence was seen at the beginning of the routine with Bruno busting out some [very good] dance moves. His skating was very fluid and relaxed and he was very comfortable with the lifts, even doing a “combination lift” per se which involved a lot of twists and turns. They got a partial standing ovation from the crowd, the only other team to do so. I forget their score off the top of my head but they were in second place, close to Sheldon and Kaitlyn.

So that’s my review of the skates...stay tuned tomorrow for comments on the judges and the show overall.

Also, my messages are open if you want to ask me about anything in particular!

#battle of the blades #botb #figure skating #battle is back #kaitlyn weaver #sheldon kennedy #andrew poje #natalie spooner #ekaterina gordeeva #bruno gervais #vanessa james #brian mcgrattan #colton orr #amanda evora #amanda kessel #eric radford

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cloudbattrolls · 5 years

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PLASKE: troll Valtin.

In which two assholes have a surprisingly long conversation.

[09:14] -- immaculateApathy [IA] began pestering voluntoldMilitia [VM] at 21:14 --

[09:14] IA: I see a fuchsia in the mire, and I wonder.

[09:14] IA: What kind is this one?

[09:14] IA: Are they some fluffy-headed starlet?

[09:15] IA: Some tragically pathetic aspiring politician?

[09:16] IA: Or are they just one of the other endless pieces of fodder trying to carve out some sort of meaning before they die in a particularly amusing fashion.

[09:17] VM: Oh, how droll!

[09:17] VM: No insul+s?

[09:17] IA: Drolle is my line name.

[09:17] IA: Don't wear it out.

[09:17] VM: No+ a weak winded gasp of wader righ+ +o my face?

[09:17] VM: or an allusion +o +he fac+ I have gill ro+?

[09:17] IA: I had gill rot once. It was a remarkably entertaining experience telling all the indigos that it would make them grow gills too.

[09:18] VM: Or +ha+ I'm louging on a chaise, complaining +ha+ a servan+ is five seconds +oo slow bringing me +ea?

[09:18] VM: Hah!

[09:18] IA: Obviously the servant was ten seconds too slow.

[09:18] IA: Get your line right.

[09:18] VM: Well isn'+ +ha+ a way +o scare people.

[09:18] IA: It's like you're not even fuchsia

[09:18] VM: And please. +en seconds - excuse me.

[09:18] IA: Maybe you're not!

[09:18] IA: Maybe you're a very, very ambitious maroon.

[09:18] IA: In which case: good for you!

[09:18] IA: We all need dreams in life.

[09:19] IA: I support your playacting one hundred percent.

[09:19] VM: Well aren'+ you a chuckle fuck? Do you play a+ being a seadweller or are you jus+ a par+icularly high indigo +oo busy snor+ing congealed faygo?

[09:20] IA: I had no idea I was speaking with such a charming individual. I'm legally indigo! Though I have to admit; for someone who called the cliches, you ARE quick to use them.

[09:20] IA: Why, just because I'm a clown doesn't mean I've ever touched faygo. Maybe I abhor it.

[09:20] IA: Maybe I set it all on fire and make the other clowns watch so I can take glee as they ruin their facepaint.

[09:20] VM: Maybe you're ba+hing in i+ righ+ now?

[09:21] IA: Maybe I am.

[09:21] IA: You have no idea.

[09:21] VM: How's +he yeas+ infec+ion going?

[09:21] IA: Swimmingly.

[09:21] IA: How are your fins?

[09:21] IA: Are they the kind that droop like they're weighed down?

[09:21] VM: Drooping in despair over my la+e +ea.

[09:22] IA: Or are they the kind that are short enough that they inspire crude jokes?

[09:22] IA: Your tea escaped for a better life.

[09:22] IA: As did the servant, probably.

[09:22] IA: Unless you're actually banging them on the side.

[09:22] IA: Maybe especially then they'd want to escape.

[09:22] VM: Oh, you know wha+ everyone says. +he size of +he fins indica+e +he size of +he bulge and all +ha+ jazz

[09:22] VM: And le+ me +ell you, mine?

[09:22] VM: Massive.

[09:22] VM: +hick and rigid. Some+hing +o admire.

[09:22] VM: My fins are in fac+, glorious.

[10:08] IA: would accuse you of lying, but no, go on. Just how /glorious/ are these supposed fins. Really go into detail, so I can picture it.

[10:08] IA: I don't have any of my own, and to be quite honest they've always seemed overrated.

[10:08] IA: Good target for attacks.

[10:08] IA: But who knows? Perhaps you can win me over.

[10:18] VM: Oh, if you insis+!

[10:18] VM: +he spin+es of +he fins are long, poin+y and rigid, wi+h jus+ +he perfec+ amoun+ of supple mea+ +o +hem +ha+ le+s you know i+'s alive. Hones+ly jus+ +hrobbing wi+h rich fuschia goo.

[10:19] VM: +he fin filamen+s +hemselves? Sa+in sof+! You jus+ can'+ s+op rubbing i+.

[10:19] VM: Such a rich, beau+iful +yrian color, absolu+ely gorgeous and royal and sensi+ive +oo.

[10:19] VM: +hey +wi+ch a+ every movemen+!

[10:19] IA: Now to find what fanfic you're stealing this description from!

[10:19] VM: +hey're jus+ gorgeous, I'm +elling you.

[10:19] IA: Clearly the author needs a lay.

[10:19] IA: Perhaps several?

[10:19] IA: An entire orgy.

[10:20] IA: If anyone can be found to supply it who won't bolt even if paid,

[10:21] IA: Are you writing tyrian fanfics, you rowdy individual?

[10:21] IA: Joining the halls of everyone who's ever done the same?

[10:21] IA: Well, at least it's not helm fanfic. I have no idea how anyone is interested in that.

[10:21] IA: All of it is terribly written.

[10:24] VM: Please, no one knows how +o wri+e helm fanfic.

[10:24] VM: 'I slipped my bulge in+o his por+' like who does +ha+?

[10:24] VM: Who even looks a+ a por+ and goes 'hmm, how absolu+ely ravishing!'

[10:24] VM: Awful, +errible.

[10:24] VM: Breaks immersion.

[10:24] IA: Ports wouldn't fit a bulge in the first place. No one knows anything about technology.

[10:24] IA: It's shameful.

[10:24] VM: My bulge has re+rac+ed so far in+o my body I now have a second nook like some sor+ of yellowblood.

[10:25] IA: So you're yellow, and not maroon.

[10:25] IA: What IS it like having two of so many things.

[10:25] IA: No two thinkpans, clearly.

[10:25] IA: But maybe you have other surprising additions.

[10:26] VM: Well I cer+ainly am digging +he +wo legs +hing!

[10:26] VM: Do you know how nice i+ is +o s+and and no+ +ee+er around?

[10:26] VM: Absolu+ely smashing.

[10:26] VM: I don'+ know why more people don+' have +wo whole legs.

[10:26] VM: Also, +wo arms?

[10:26] IA: four horns?

[10:26] VM: +his means I can click on new fanfic+ion a+ +he same +ime while i +ry +o pry my bulge ou+ of i+'s newfound nook!

[10:26] IA: or would that topple over your head.

[10:27] VM: +wo eyes are also grea+. I can look bo+h lef+ AND righ+ a+ +he same +ime!

[10:27] IA: You /can?/

[10:27] IA: Even with only one thinkpan?

[10:27] IA: I'm so very proud of you.

[10:27] IA: Have a biscuit.

[10:27] VM: +hank you, I +ried.

[10:27] IA: It's shaped like the fish you want to be and clearly read far too much fanfic about.

[10:27] VM: I+ was so difficul+ bu+ I was so de+ermined.

[10:27] IA: That does explain how you've survived this long.

[10:28] IA: sheer unrelenting determination against the looming cull fork.

[10:29] IA: like a mayfly, desperately trying to build a small dirt pile before it gets swatted.

[10:29] IA: Unless you actually have achievable, non-stereotypical dreams?

[10:30] IA: But I suppose that's too much to hope for.

[10:31] IA: A spark of inspiration? An understanding of a greater scope?

[10:31] IA: I doubt it.

[10:33] VM: Wha+ can I say? My goal in life is +o be +he mos+ de+ermined mayfly I can be!

[10:33] VM: Because +hen I can go and, oh, i don'+ know, make my dea+h coun+!

[10:33] IA: Somehow, I doubt you are actually that naive.

[10:33] VM: I can fly righ+ in+o your drink, righ+ as you're +aking a sip!

[10:33] VM: OR crawl down your s+raw when you're no+ looking

[10:33] VM: and +hen i'm si++ing +here, wai+ing for you +o sip.

[10:34] IA: Please, VM, this isn't the time or place to write more fanfiction.

[10:34] IA: I didn't consent to this.

[10:35] VM: Wha+, you don'+ wan+ +o suck me righ+ in+o your mou+h?

[10:36] IA: I'm so very sorry, VM, but I just don't find goo attractive.

[10:36] IA: You already lost this battle.

[10:36] IA: everyone is crying.

[10:36] IA: nobody will give you a victory lay.

[10:37] VM: Well isn'+ +ha+ a shame!

[10:37] VM: +ha+'s okay +hough, I s+ill spen+ my dea+h ruining your day by si++ing in your s+raw un+il you drank me.

[10:37] VM: Anyway!

[10:37] VM: Who +he fuck even are you?

[10:38] IA: My ancestor likes to call me 'the ultimate disappointment' but he's a very dreary fellow so I usually go by Plaske.

[10:38] IA: Do I get a name from you?

[10:38] IA: And no, yours for your bulge doesn't count.

[10:39] VM: Well he's no+ clever a+ all, is he!

[10:40] VM: You could be '+he +inies+ hin+ of fecal ma++er on a goa+'s anus'!

[10:42] IA: Not really. He's spent all the two thousand sweeps of his life doing paperwork.

[10:42] IA: He is really, truly, devastatingly boring.

[10:42] VM: Oh wha+ a bore.

[10:42] VM: Paperwork!

[10:42] IA: Also, I doubt he's ever been outside long enough to even see a goat.

[10:42] VM: Is i+ even in+eres+ing paperwork?

[10:44] IA: Look deep inside yourself - actually no, look shallowly inside yourself, the deep parts are something I do not need to see more of - and ask yourself if figuring out where to place pupa clowns in circuses is exciting.

[10:44] IA: That shouldn't take long to answer.

[10:45] VM: Well +ha+'s easy.

[10:45] VM: In +he lion pens.

[10:46] IA: Good answer, but unfortunately the Empire would complain.

[10:46] IA: They've decided we're so very indispensable.

[10:46] VM: Don'+ +ell me.

[10:46] IA: I don't see it. Just because some of us are gorgeous doesn't mean we're relevant to politics.

[10:46] VM: You man +he //concession s+ands.//

[10:46] IA: Oh, no, not me.

[10:47] IA: Though that would be fun.

[10:47] IA: I could collect a wonderful memory of all the facial expressions.

[10:47] IA: And I could probably make even the boring uniform look good.

[10:47] VM: I somehow doub+ i+!

[10:47] VM: POs+ pics!

[10:48] IA: You act like I just have it hanging in my closet! I have to go get one.

[10:48] VM: Well go on +here!

[10:48] VM: I'm wai+ing!

[10:49] IA: I'm looking, so shut that no doubt tentacle-mouthed face of yours.

[10:49] VM: I can'+! HOw am I supposed +o brea+he if I do?

[10:56] -- immaculateApathy [IA] has sent it'sshort.png. It's a shot of them - the phone clearly held by some other troll - in a popcorn outfit, which is black with red trim but boring, and also short on their 6'5 ass so that the shirt becomes a crop top and the pants only go partway down their legs. They're leaning on the counter, eyebrows raised. They have several piercings in - nose, two sets of earrings, and one eyebrow. It's a contrast to their immaculate paint and gold-threaded braids. --

[10:57] IA: And now I'm going to change out of this, because even though I'm getting a nice breeze it's so unstylish.

[11:00] VM: Oh is +ha+ so? Well aren'+ you a sigh+ for sore eyes.

[11:01] IA: I'm a known cure for all eye soreness and I don't even charge, even though I should.

[11:01] IA: Five caegers per look.

[11:02] IA: Do I get a picture of your no doubt mildly horrifying mug?

[11:02] IA: Or do I just get to imagine what kinds of diseases you have.

[11:02] IA: Or maybe you don't! We've established that you're a fanfic writer.

[11:02] IA: That sort hardly gets outside.

[11:03] VM: Mmm.

[11:03] VM: NO.

[11:03] VM: Le+'s keep up +he mys+ery!

[11:03] IA: Fine by me.

[11:03] VM: Bu+ I can assure you,I'm also a sigh+ for sore eyes and I should be charging more +han //you// ever could.

[11:03] IA: You're probably doing me a favor.

[11:03] IA: Aw.

[11:03] IA: You're trying to feel better.

[11:03] IA: That's how to do it.

[11:03] IA: Chin up!

[11:04] IA: Thank you for not cursing me with your visage.

[11:04] VM: So +ell me more abou+ yourself, Plaske!

[11:04] VM: WHa+ do you do?

[11:04] IA: Truly, I should be begging at your feet in gratitude.

[11:04] VM: Oh please, you fla++er!

[11:04] VM: I'm only doing wha+'s bes+ for +he world.

[11:04] IA: I'm a clown, nameless stranger. What do you think I do? Go on. Take a few guesses.

[11:04] VM: Why, I can'+ jus+ have you keel over and die a+ +he firs+ glimpse of me!

[11:05] VM: Oh, who knows...

[11:05] VM: Do you crea+e ar+isan faygos?

[11:05] IA: any sentence that contains 'artisan' and 'faygo' is automatically a lie.

[11:05] VM: Do you roll around on a unicycle playing fun and quain+ circus songs on your bagpipes?

[11:05] IA: Unless the phrase 'isn't ever' is between them.

[11:05] VM: Do you crea+e fake silicone gills +o go s+icking on your neck for pho+o ops?

[11:05] IA: I like the bagpipes but I can't play them.

[11:05] IA: Oh, those are real.

[11:06] IA: Look up the Wilhem line if you don't believe me.

[11:06] IA: We all have gills. Just no fins.

[11:06] VM: Oh really now?

[11:06] IA: Which as I've said is no loss as far as I'm concerned.

[11:06] VM: Do +hey even work?

[11:06] IA: Of course they work. What would be the point of them otherwise?

[11:06] VM: Decora+ion!

[11:07] VM: Some people like +o play a+ being edgy af+er all.

[11:07] IA: I'm quite a fan of decoration, but not the point of nonsense. That's for weak-minded, sadly try-hard nuisances.

[11:07] IA: I dance.

[11:07] VM: I can +ell!

[11:07] VM: How many piercings is +ha+ in your face now?

[11:07] IA: If you want to know what style, you get to tell me something about you.

[11:07] IA: Enough.

[11:08] IA: I won't answer anything else until you do.

[11:08] VM: Well wha+ do you even wan+ +o know?

[11:08] IA: That being - what's your name? A fake one, if you're such a coward.

[11:08] IA: I don't care.

[11:08] VM: Clearly you're +he mos+ in+eres+ing one amongs+ +he +wo of us.

[11:08] IA: Make it entertaining.

[11:08] VM: You've guessed every+hing abou+ me!

[11:08] IA: That goes without saying but I didn't start a conversation to go on about myself. If I want to do that I can talk to the popcorn merchant.

[11:08] IA: She's mute.

[11:09] IA: So make up something fun.

[11:09] VM: Don'+ you make fun of her, I'm sure she's swee+.

[11:09] VM: I can'+ make up some+hing fun.

[11:09] VM: I only have one pan.

[11:09] IA: I really can't tell, she can't talk and her eyes are all red.

[11:09] VM: I used i+ up +rying +o do some+hing I"ve already forgo++en wha+ i+ was.

[11:09] IA: It's interesting to guess what she's feeling.

[11:09] VM: Because my pan is jus+ +ha+ small!

[11:09] IA: But who knows.

[11:09] IA: Oh, please.

[11:09] IA: What am I going to call you then, VM? An internet handle as if you're a wriggler?

[11:09] IA: That's pathetic.

[11:10] IA: Oh! What if I call you Finfin.

[11:11] IA: Hardly creative, but suitable given you are far, far too excited about them.

[11:11] VM: Oh I +hink +ha+'s perfec+!

[11:11] VM: Finfin is a beau+iful name.

[11:11] VM: So now +ha+ you've go+ a name for me, wha+ sor+ of music do you dance +o?

[11:12] IA: I'm so worried about you, you know?

[11:12] IA: The same way a lusus worries about something they just killed.

[11:12] IA: It's already past saving.

[11:12] IA: But you still feel some vague concern.

[11:13] IA: That wasn't an answer, Finfin.

[11:13] IA: So: what do YOU do to pass your time.

[11:13] VM: Oh you know.

[11:13] VM: I like si++ing +here and remembering how +o brea+he!

[11:13] VM: Do you read, Plaske?

[11:13] IA: Only that?

[11:13] IA: My.

[11:14] IA: Do you also remember how to stretch?

[11:14] IA: Of course I read.

[11:14] IA: What do you like to read?

[11:15] VM: I'm afraid I've never learned how +o read!

[11:15] VM: I only have so much brain power.

[11:15] IA: Oh the tragedy of it all.

[11:15] VM: Are you someone who likes learning, Plaske?

[11:16] IA: If the information is interesting enough.

[11:16] IA: What do you like to learn?

[11:16] VM: Wha+ do you consider in+eres+ing?

[11:16] IA: What do /you?/

[11:16] IA: The 'I'm a simpleton' jokes are officially old.

[11:17] IA: they died screaming.

[11:17] IA: It was ugly.

[11:17] VM: Screaming and being sucked down a s+raw +o an unfor+una+e dea+h of a simple mayfly looking +o ruin a nigh+?

[11:17] IA: Oh not this again.

[11:17] IA: I may yawn.

[11:17] IA: Then where would we be?

[11:18] VM: I like his+ory!

[11:18] VM: HOw's +ha+ for an answer?

[11:18] IA: A breakthrough!

[11:18] IA: A poor one, but I accept it.

[11:19] IA: In that case - I do several styles of dance, but my preferred one is swing.

[11:19] IA: Let me guess; you like military history.

[11:19] IA: Unless your handle is merely an amusing lie.

[11:20] VM: Eh, mili+ary his+ory frequen+ly in+eresc+s wi+h my preferred +opic, however i+ is no+ wha+ I usually go ou+ looking for!

[11:21] IA: I like to read about other religions.

[11:21] IA: So what IS your preferred topic?

[11:26] VM: I specialize in poli+ics and poli+ical his+ory! So perhaps you were righ+ when we firs+ began +o +alk abou+ +he oh, poor ups+ar+ waders.

[11:26] IA: Oh, that was fluff to get you talking.

[11:26] IA: If you actually have /ideas/, I'm intrigued.

[11:27] IA: Spouting such a tired cliche sincerely is for people with no imagination.

[11:28] VM: Oh, well now +ha+'s a secre+!

[11:28] VM: I like +o keep my ideas +o myself!

[11:28] IA: Is it because they're really boring and you're being polite?

[11:28] VM: +ell me more abou+ you, Plaske.

[11:28] VM: You dance swing, is +ha+ righ+? Why do you do swing?

[11:28] IA: Because I like it. Do I need a deep reason?

[11:28] IA: Deep reasons are for people who spend far too much time looking at themselves in the mirror.

[11:31] IA: If I'm going to look at myself in the mirror, I had better have a good outfit on.

[11:32] IA: As for what I find interesting - anything out of the ordinary.

[11:32] IA: Like you, for example.

[11:35] IA: A fuchsia so shy talking about themself.

[11:35] IA: If you are fuchsia. But I can believe it.

[11:35] IA: If not, well, it doesn't matter.

[11:35] IA: You're amusing enough.

[11:40] VM: Any+hing ou+ of +he ordinary? Is +ha+ so?

[11:40] VM: Wha+ sor+ of +hings have you come across +ha+'s ou+ of +he ourdinary?

[11:40] VM: Is i+ a clown +ha+ uses blue on +heir face ins+ead of black and whi+e?

[11:40] IA: A few mutants. Please, that's not interesting.

[11:40] IA: We use all kinds of colors. That's old news.

[11:40] VM: Or are you +alking abou+ +hings your fellow honks would consider here+ical?

[11:40] IA: Heresy is such a drab word.

[11:41] IA: When an entire religion was founded on jokes, what is heretical?

[11:41] IA: Anything too serious?

[11:41] VM: Any+hing promo+ing som+hing no+ honky.

[11:41] IA: Mutants at least have something new to offer.

[11:41] VM: Wha+ sor+ of mu+an+s have you me+?

[11:41] IA: I had one with lovely green hair, telekinesis, and psychic powers.

[11:42] VM: Oh how quain+.

[11:42] IA: They got spirited away by someone else I quite enjoyed associating with, more's the pity.

[11:42] VM: Dual psionics is barely a mu+a+ion +hough, isn'+ i+?

[11:42] IA: Of course not, but they had bright green hair.

[11:42] IA: And they couldn't eat several things, it was quite curious.

[11:43] IA: There was also one who was quite impaired.

[11:44] IA: Not sure what happened to him, but I doubt it was anything good given he had faceted eyes and small pincers on the sides of his mouth.

[11:44] IA: Alas.

[11:45] VM: Brigh+ green hair is also subjec+ive.

[11:45] VM: Dye, probably!

[11:45] VM: +ha+'s no+hing in+eres+ing.

[11:45] VM: I've +alked +o a candy red blood once before, did you know?

[11:45] IA: Oh, it wasn't dye. It was entirely natural.

[11:46] IA: Really? Or are you mocking me.

[11:46] IA: If so, sporting attempt, 5/10 credit.

[11:46] IA: If true, I have to admit I'm jealous.

[11:46] IA: I'd like to meet one but I've never found any. It's so odd, none of them seem to ever come near a circus tent.

[11:47] IA: Truly mysterious.

[11:47] VM: I+'s +rue!

[11:47] VM: +hey were a swee+ +hing, if a bi+ odd.

[11:48] VM: A scien+is+, in +heir own righ+!

[11:48] IA: What were they a scientist of?

[11:48] VM: I'll admi+, I didn'+ believe +hey were candy red ei+her, I +hough+ +hey were jus+ a par+icularly brigh+ orangeblood.

[11:48] VM: Medicine!

[11:48] VM: No+ qui+e a doc+or, no, bu+ +hey s+udied medicine.

[11:50] IA: Interesting. Perhaps they used such knowledge to stay undetected.

[11:50] IA: Though if they allowed you to find out their blood color, they must have been at least somewhat careless.

[11:50] VM: Oh no, +hey were, wha+, kep+ by +he flee+?

[11:50] VM: Some sor+ of experimen+ or o+her.

[11:50] IA: Really!

[11:50] IA: I thought those were just rumors.

[11:50] VM: I never did manage +o +alk +o +hem again +hough.

[11:50] VM: Oh, no!

[11:51] VM: +he flee+ frequen+ly pulls mu+an+s +hey find 'useful' ou+ of +he culling pools, don'+ you know?

[11:51] IA: I mean, you /could/ be making it up, but I'm pretty sure you'd make it sound more exciting.

[11:51] VM: Bu+ you really have +o prove yourself for someone +o do +ha+.

[11:51] IA: and that does sound like the Empire.

[11:51] VM: Or, you know, in your case, jus+ be highblooded enough for +hem +o overlook gills!

[11:51] IA: After all, the Wilhem line is 'allowed' to exist because -

[11:51] IA: Hahaha.

[11:51] IA: I see we both thought of that.

[11:51] IA: Don't think I'm unaware of the double standard.

[11:52] IA: I find it amusing.

[11:52] IA: The Wilhems are 'allowed' to exist because assuming we cut our gills out, like my dear old ancestor -

[11:52] IA: - it's supposed to be a show of faith and a symbol of the dominance of the church.

[11:52] IA: And yet, that's so terribly boring.

[11:53] IA: Following what one's line has done, simply as a gesture of snivelling to some clown on a throne?

[11:53] IA: Please.

[11:53] IA: If the new Grand Highblood wants my gills so much, she can come tear them out herself.

[11:54] IA: Oh, look, you got me to give a little speech.

[11:54] IA: Good for you.

[11:59] VM: Huh! Wha+ a shame for you.

[11:59] VM: +ha+ mus+ make life so awful.

[11:59] VM: Did you know I me+ someone once jus+ like you?

[11:59] VM: Or well, +hey //say// +hey're jus+ like you.

[11:59] VM: +hey're a bi+ brigh+ +o be considered indigo, so you've go+ +ha+ on +hem!

[11:59] IA: If you think I let something as petty as that ruin my life, you are charmingly deluded.

[12:00] IA: My ancestor doesn't care enough to actually enforce it. And even if he tried, he couldn't.

[12:00] IA: Oh, yes, there are plenty of cusps running around.

[12:00] IA: I'm not surprised.

[12:00] IA: We have two others in my circus alone.

[12:00] IA: Though really I'm fairly certain Sacchi is just lying about being one. Not that it matters.

[12:00] IA: A seadweller wanting to be a clown is certainly novel.

[12:01] IA: So why not let her pretend she's merely a high indigo.

[12:01] VM: Wha+ do you +hink of o+her cusps +hen? Are +hey no+ 'in+eres+ing' enough +o you?

[12:02] IA: A few might be, but only if they actually acknowledge it instead of ignoring it and pretending it's some great shame or other.

[12:02] IA: Do we shame a maroon for being a bronze cusp? Hardly.

[12:03] IA: I am indigo, and yet, I can breathe underwater. I don't pretend I cannot. It's a useful skill.

[12:03] VM: Isn'+ i+?

[12:04] VM: I+'s very useful and i+'s always a shame +ha+ someone doesn'+ wan+ +o accep+ +ha+ par+ of +hemselves.

[12:04] VM: Al+hough, I can see why.

[12:04] IA: So you're one of the ones who actually does spend time in the water instead of clinging to land.

[12:04] IA: Really? I think it's just silly insecurity.

[12:04] VM: Mu+an+s or +rolls ou+ of +he 'norm' are usually culled or os+racized.

[12:04] VM: +he nail +ha+ s+icks up ge+s hammered!

[12:04] VM: And we, as a species, do like +o fi+ in.

[12:05] IA: If someone is so weak minded that they'll let disapproval like that do them in, then they hardly have much of a chance as it is.

[12:05] IA: Being true to oneself is worth so much more than the petty concerns of narrow minded trolls

[12:05] VM: Is i+ +ruly weak?

[12:05] VM: Or is i+ being smar+ abou+ surviving?

[12:06] IA: A fuchsia talks about smart survival? You ARE unusual.

[12:06] VM: Does i+ ma++er if you've s+uck +o who you are if wha+ you are +urns you in+o a cold husk in +he ground?

[12:06] IA: So you are willing to compromise.

[12:06] IA: Fascinating.

[12:06] VM: Hahaha, is +ha+ really so odd for one of my cas+e?

[12:06] IA: I've met a few fuchsias.

[12:07] IA: Most of them thought nothing of survival and everything of their glamorous futures.

[12:07] VM: And wha+ flowy dress +hey should wear +o impress +he o+her be++a fish +hey swim wi+h?

[12:07] IA: Though one was a little worthwhile. Too odd to be sensible, but sharper than the others. Though she was older, too.

[12:08] IA: Flowy dresses are vital.

[12:08] IA: Short dresses just aren't worth it.

[12:08] IA: There's no style.

[12:08] IA: No class.

[12:09] VM: Please, everyone knows simplic+y is bes+.

[12:09] VM: A nice, form fi++ing dress is always bes+, I'd say.

[12:09] VM: Sure, i+ doesn'+ flow like +he o+hers, bu+ i+ jus+ looks... be++er!

[12:09] VM: I+ really pu+s on display +he bes+ par+s abou+ +he +roll's looks.

[12:13] IA: Does your mind always go back to that in the end.

[12:13] IA: It's amazing how it moves in one giant, slow circle.

[12:14] VM: Wha+ can I say? I lose my +yrian cred if I don'+ +alk abou+ fashion once in a conversa+ion.

[12:14] VM: Do you know how awful i+ is +o earn +he cred back? We have +o wa+ch six seasons of +hose modelling compe+i+ion shows, bu+ only +he ones wi+h seadwellers, no landdwellers.

[12:18] IA: I always wonder where they find enough decent looking seadwellers to even fill those.

[12:18] IA: Though I have to say, I didn't mean clothes, I meant your /other/ preoccupation.

[12:18] IA: which really, I assume you knew, and went for that silly joke anyway.

[12:18] IA: tsk tsk, predictable.

[12:21] VM: I'm sorry, I have no idea wha+ you're +alking abou+, I jus+ can'+ read! I +hough+ we affirmed +ha+ earlier.

[12:21] VM: Bu+, you know, you never answered my ques+ion.

[12:21] IA: Which one? You asked me enough to fill a popcorn bag.

[12:21] IA: I answered several of them.

[12:21] IA: Even the boring ones.

[12:23] VM: Does i+ ma++er if you've s+uck +o who you are if wha+ you are +urns you in+o a cold husk in +he ground?

[12:23] IA: Oh, that one.

[12:23] IA: That's reasonably interesting. I suppose it's worth the time.

[12:25] IA: The answer is that I don't know.

[12:25] IA: I've never had to make that choice.

[12:25] IA: I've watched other people make it.

[12:25] IA: I wish I could have spoken to them before they died to find out.

[12:25] VM: If you had +o +hough, wha+ would you choose?

[12:25] IA: But alas, nobody ever thinks of that.

[12:26] VM: If your life was on +h eline, would you denounce who you were +o live ano+her nigh+?

[12:26] IA: Oh, probably. Depends on what kind of death I was being threatened with, though.

[12:26] IA: And how old I was at the time.

[12:27] VM: Wha+ abou+ righ+ now? You +urned +he corner and someone demanded you +o do i+ or you die?

[12:27] VM: And wha+, you're a clown, righ+? You're wi+h clowns?

[12:27] VM: So le+'s say you ge+ clubbed +o dea+h!

[12:27] IA: Oh, no, I just surround myself with people who wear facepaint for no reason.

[12:28] IA: Hmmm.

[12:28] IA: That would take an awfully long time and be very boring.

[12:28] IA: I suppose I would renounce.

[12:28] IA: I can always become someone else. That might be fun.

[12:29] IA: What would you do, Finfin?

[12:29] VM: Why would I choose any+hing o+her +han life?

[12:29] VM: Labels and lies are +emporary.

[12:29] VM: You know wha+ isn'+?

[12:30] VM: Dea+h.

[12:30] IA: I could argue that point, but that's all theoretical anyway. Generally it's permanent, true.

[12:31] IA: Unless you come back as a ghost, but from the lowbloods I've talked to, that hardly counts.

[12:33] VM: Exac+ly!

[12:33] VM: So your ideals of 's+icking +o who you are' seems a bi+ shor+sigh+ed, don'+ you agree?

[12:34] VM: Oh, sure, in a perfec+ world everyone can be wha+ +hey ac+ually are, bu+ ou+liers are looked down on and frequen+ly forced +o fi+ in.

[12:35] VM: +he hypo+he+ical of being culled if you don'+ conform is a bi+ of an exaggera+ion of wha+ mos+ +rolls run in+o, bu+ +he concep+ is +he same, don'+ you +hink?

[12:35] IA: Why should I agree? It's an ideal, not a life plan.

[12:35] IA: Silly Finfin.

[12:35] VM: If your life is easier by fi++ing in, why no+ go wi+h +he flow?

[12:35] VM: Ideals rarely work in +he real world.

[12:36] IA: Oh, I don't know, the ideal of 'the messiahs' will is for us to control the lowbloods with dreams and subjugation' works well.

[12:36] IA: Careful, there, you forgot what an ideal is.

[12:37] VM: Are you sure?

[12:37] IA: As a nice blanket statement, certainly.

[12:37] VM: If you fla+ ou+ goregle +he meaning of ideal, one of +he defini+ions are 'exis+ing only in +eh imagina+ion, desirable or perfec+ bu+ no+ likely +o become a reali+y'

[12:37] VM: +ha+'s no+ an ideal, +he messiah's will.

[12:37] VM: +ha+'s simply jus+ how +he world is.

[12:38] IA: Really, we're getting into goregle? How pedantic. Clearly you don't know doctrine.

[12:39] IA: According to it, we are all products of the messiahs' imagination. Literal crystallized ideas.

[12:39] IA: So it's a matter of perspective.

[12:39] IA: As impractical as an ideal may be, that doesn't mean it can't work.

[12:39] VM: Ideas and ideals are differen+!

[12:39] IA: Simply that in many scenarios it doesn't.

[12:39] IA: Are they so? Every idea has an ideal at the heart of it.

[12:40] IA: Some type of desire.

[12:40] IA: Some dream of how things should be.

[12:40] IA: I would know.

[12:40] IA: I make dreams.

[12:40] VM: Mm, no, I'll have +o kindly disagree.

[12:41] IA: Kind or unkind, it makes no difference to me.

[12:41] IA: Just don't be boring.

[12:41] VM: I have seen some people wi+h some really, really, //really// dumb ideas.

[12:41] IA: Of course.

[12:41] VM: WI+h no ideal a+ +he cen+er of i+ all, or even a desire on occasion.

[12:41] IA: And there are no dumb ideals?

[12:41] VM: I unders+and +he sen+imen+ you're ge++ing a+ +hough.

[12:41] IA: Silly Finfin.

[12:41] VM: Oh, +here are absolu+ely dumb ideals.

[12:42] VM: bu+ dumb ideas don'+ mean +here's a dumb ideal a+ +he cen+er of i+ all.

[12:42] IA: Perhaps, but it hardly matters if they can't work.

[12:43] VM: Maybe no+ in +he discussion of whe+her or no+ an idea can be good or bad, bu+ in +he discussion on wha+'s an ideal and wha+ isn'+, well. I+ hardly ma++ers, does i+?

[12:44] IA: It can always matter with the right perspective.

[12:45] IA: Though from mine at this moment, what matters most is signing off and doing some shopping. Ta for now, Finfin.

[12:45] -- immaculateApathy [IA] ceased pestering voluntoldMilitia [VM] at 00:45 --

#skegulium #VM is their Valtin #IA is my Plaske #Plaske Wilhem

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trinityludford-trigwell · 3 years

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Week 1 - We got given our new assignment today - I’m relatively excited about it but not quite as much as the first project, but we’ve only gone over it briefly. I had an abundance of ideas however, so I decided to do a brainstorm of initial ideas. My main goal for this week was to generally start planning and exploring ideas, making sure I understood the brief and what I could do along the way to ease the pressure of the work or develop my understanding.

In the lesson we learnt about daily operational procedures in retail, I found this incredibly boring and it’s already something I do and have to think about everyday at work, however it did solidify and remind me of all the procedures we should take in a workplace and why, we also covered measurable outcomes and KPI’s - I found this more useful as some KPI’s I didn’t know about as we don’t use them at work and it was interesting to learn what else I can look out for to understand areas we can work on. We also had an introduction to Visual merchandising, as I already do this at work I found it really easy to follow and understand and it reassured me in my abilities as sometimes I think I put myself down and don’t realise me abilities or achievements. This lesson taught me the importance of VM and why it’s an essential piece of not only bricks and mortar retail but online retail as well. We learnt about the roles in a retail environment such as Area manager, supervisor etc. This didn’t overly excite me as I feel I already understand the roles in retail and although I am currently a supervisor, my plan isn’t to just move up the ladder and settle in a retail management position. I feel like I need something more engaging and new to keep me inspired.

In our other lesson we had an introduction to Critical & contextual - we looked at historical fashion trends and how they shaped fashion today, I also learnt about PESTLE factors - I can tell C&C will be an area I really enjoy as I love looking to history and other inspirations to understand fashion and I find films and other visual communications of fashion, like documentaries the most interesting and easy to understand. I really enjoyed understanding why trends change, even for reasons you wouldn’t think of such as ‘Hemline theory’ which saw shorter hemlines use to show off silk stockings start to increase in length as when the market crashed women needed to hide that they couldn’t afford silk stockings anymore.

Our homework for over half term was to visit Selfridges and look at their window displays and Visual merchandising and take photos to gather examples of how trends are communicated through VM, uses and types of mannequins, light boxes and displays. As I don’t live in London I tried to go to Selfridges after college as I probably wouldn’t have spare time over half term to come up again between work - this however wasn’t very successful as the window displays weren’t done and were just filled with graphics and the queue to go in circled the store. I, therefore gave up on Selfridges and instead visited other stores well known for their window displays on oxford street and researched those, personally I felt that the stores were lacking, (maybe because they hadn’t set up for the Christmas windows yet) the displays looked quite flat, mundane and uninspiring.

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andrey-v-maksimov · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://dev-ops-notes.ru/blog/2017/11/29/how-to-integrate-zendesk-mobile-sdk-with-firebase-using-aws-lambda-or-google-cloud-functions/?utm_source=TR&utm_medium=andrey-v-maksimov&utm_campaign=SNAP%2Bfrom%2BDev-Ops-Notes.RU

How to integrate Zendesk Mobile SDK with Firebase using AWS Lambda or Google Cloud Functions?

Everybody knows, that you may authenticate you users for Zendesk Mobile SDK using JWT (JSON Web Token). More over, there’re a lot of HOWTO-s, which are showing JWT implementation for many different programming languages. In this tutorial I’ll show you, how to use Google Cloud Functions, NodeJS with some additional npm additions to create a fully scalable and absolutely free Serverless JWT authentication backend for Zendesk Mobile SDK.

Why Google?

Of cause you may use AWS Lambda functions to implement the similar solution, but in my own opinion using a single product (Google Firebase) for iOS backend operations is much more easier, then using a couple of services from AWS. So, the main reason was Firebase.

At the same time Google gives you great logging solution for all its services, so you don’t need to implement something special and reinvent the wheel. Just use single solution for all your services.

And the third one – API. Of cause in my own opinion Google’s API is the best I’ve ever saw. Only Google provides your with the detailed explanation of most of the errors and provides you with the direct URL links to it’s console to, for example, enable the required service.

What is Serverless, Cloud functions and Lambda?

Think of it like a lightweight PaaS hosting based on container technologies with some limitations which makes this technology super fast and scalable. This hosting is storing your pieces of code which are, ready to be launched independently to solve one simple problem (call another function of web-service, save something to the database or send a email, for example), which could be solved in a short period of time.

Your piece of code is launched inside a container each time other cloud service triggers it or calls it directly via HTTP/HTTPS protocol like a traditional web service.

Why Serverless (AWS Lambda or CloudFunctions)?

We still not sparingly using the resources we need for each kind of solutions. We still using half loaded VMs to support long infrastructure scale times or for having ability to launch additional containers in Kubernetes cluster. In case of cloud we’re paying for such unused resources. Don’t know about you, but I do not want doing this.

Usage of cloud functions is allowing us to use available resources, let say, more frugally and at the same time it gives us an ability to scale faster then in case of using VMs or even containers. So, with CloudFunctions we can use the nature of the Cloud without thinking about our web-service scalability.

Of cause, all cloud providers are supporting serverless technologies, so, you don’t need to think about something like vendor-lock. You may easily switch your cloud provider in any time.

Serverless backend

First of all I’m assuming, that you already have:

Google Firebase account (Traditional Google Cloud is also OK, if you’re not using Firebase) and created Project inside.

You’ve installed Firebase SDK for Cloud Functions and created the initial project structure for your cloud functions.

You’ve read about Writing HTTP cloud functions

After that you’ll be easily be able to write something like this on Node.js Put the following code to you index.js file to create a cloud function called jwt_auth:

'use strict'; const functions = require('firebase-functions'); const admin = require('firebase-admin'); admin.initializeApp(functions.config().firebase); var jwt = require('jwt-simple'); var uuid = require('uuid'); var url = require('url'); var subdomain = 'dev-ops-notes'; // You Zendesk sub-domain var shared_key = '.....'; // Zendesk provided shared key exports.jwt_auth = functions.https.onRequest((req, res) => // Uncomment the following code if you want to //console.log('Request method', req.method); //console.log('Request: ', req); //console.log('Body: ', req.body); //console.log('Query: ', req.query); if (!req.body.user_token) console.error('No jwt token provided in URL'); res.status(401).send('Unauthorized'); return; const jwt_token = req.body.user_token; console.log("Verifying token..."); admin.auth().verifyIdToken(jwt_token).then(decodedIdToken => console.log('ID Token correctly decoded', decodedIdToken); let user = decodedIdToken; var displayName = user.email; if (user.displayName != null) displayName = user.displayName; var payload = iat: (new Date().getTime() / 1000), jti: uuid.v4(), name: displayName, email: user.email ; // encode var token = jwt.encode(payload, shared_key); console.log('Token', token) var redirect = 'https://' + subdomain + '.zendesk.com/access/jwt?jwt=' + token; var query = url.parse(req.url, true).query; if(query['return_to']) redirect += '&return_to=' + encodeURIComponent(query['return_to']); console.log('Redirect response', redirect) let response = "jwt": token res.status(200).send(response) return; ).catch(error => console.error('Error while verifying Firebase ID token:', error); res.status(401).send('Unauthorized'); return; ); );

In the code abode we’re importing some additional dependencies

firebase-functions – to have an ability to access to HTTP Request (req) and Response (res) objects and their properties.

firebase-admin – to have an ability to access Firebase Authentication features (like the checking of users tokens or credentials)

jwt-simple – it’s a small lib allowing us to form a right JWT response

uuid – lib for generating random UUID for JWT token for Zendesk

url – lib for parsing HTTP Request query string and processing redirect_url parameter provided to you by Zendesk to remember from what page did the user come, so we could include it in our request and pass back later

Checking for existence of user_token parameter inside HTTP Request and responding 401 Unauthorized if we did not find that parameter.

After that we’re verifying Firebase user token inside our request using verifyIdToken method, which is returning us Firebase user information in case of success.

After that we’re forming JWT response structure (see Anatomy of a JWT request for more details), adding return_to information from the Zendesk request and sending back 200 OK HTTP Response with the body containing our JWT token.

Now it’s time to go to the functions directory and install all the required dependencies:

$ npm install firebase-functions $ npm install firebase-admin $ npm install jwt-simple $ npm install uuid $ npm install url

Now you’re ready to deploy your cloud function using the command:

firebase deploy --only functions

At the command output you’ll see the function URL, which we’d need to provide to Zendesk Mobile SDK configuration at the next step (something like us-central1-<your-firebase-project-id>.cloudfunctions.net).

Zendesk configuration

First of all you need to Enable Mobile SDK at you account admin page:

Then we need to go to settings to Mobile SDK configuration and click “Add App” button

At the Mobile App Settings do the following:

Fill the Name of your application at Setup tab and enable JWT Authentication method.

Fill JWT URL with the URL you’ve got during cloud function deployment.

Put the JWT Secret to the shared_key variable and deploy the function once more again to update it with the same command you’ve already used.

Enable Zendesk Guide and Conversations support if needed at Support SDK tab.

Now, you’re able to use Zendesk Mobile SDK in your iOS application.

Using Zendesk Mobile SDK with JWT Authentication

I’ll not duplicate this great Zendesk tutorial, just watch the video and follow the next steps to embed Zendesk Support in your mobile app.

Will add just a few things here.

If you want to embed Zendesk Support as UITabBarItem, follow this tutorial: Quick start – Support SDK for iOS

If you want to use Zendesk Support as usual UIViewController, just use this code to launch it:

URLProtocol.registerClass(ZDKAuthenticationURLProtocol.self) let jwtUserIdentity = ZDKJwtIdentity(jwtUserIdentifier:idToken) ZDKConfig.instance().userIdentity = jwtUserIdentity let helpCenterContentModel = ZDKHelpCenterOverviewContentModel.defaultContent() ZDKHelpCenter.presentOverview(self, with: helpCenterContentModel)

Let’s come back to JWT Authentication in iOS App.

Full process of JWT Authentication process is shown here: Building a dedicated JWT endpoint for the Support SDK. This article is very important, because it shows how to debug the authentication process using curl, if something goes wrong.

IMPORTANT: The common mistake in most cases is misconfigured JWT token, which is usually not containing this 4 MUST HAVE fields:

iat

jti

name

Next, you need to provide current user information to Zendesk before launching Zendesk Support UIViewController. If you’re using Firebase as Authentication backend for your users in the app, just use the following code for example inside “Get Support” UIButton action:

if let currentUser = Auth.auth().currentUser currentUser.getTokenForcingRefresh(true, completion: (idToken, error) in if let error = error debugPrint("Error obtaining user token: %@", error) else URLProtocol.registerClass(ZDKAuthenticationURLProtocol.self) let jwtUserIdentity = ZDKJwtIdentity(jwtUserIdentifier:idToken) ZDKConfig.instance().userIdentity = jwtUserIdentity // Create a Content Model to pass in let helpCenterContentModel = ZDKHelpCenterOverviewContentModel.defaultContent() ZDKHelpCenter.presentOverview(self, with: helpCenterContentModel) )

Here we’re getting current user token (idToken) from the Firebase, configuring ZDKJwtIdentity object and providing it to Zendesk Support View (helpCenterContentModel) before launching it.

That’s it. Now you’re ready to provide professional support for your users using the most exciting Support platform ever!

#aws #firebase #google cloud #ios #nodejs #swift #zendesk #Cloud #iOS

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tutuandscoot · 2 years

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The moment u first discovered VM and the moment you fell in love with them .

First of all.. I’m sorry this has been in my asks for so long at this point but I’m getting to it now.

Ok.. settle in folks. 🍿

The IE SD in PYC was the first time I took notice of them. I had seen clips of stuff from Vancouver and Sochi but this was the first real moment. I’ve said in another post there were fluff pieces and lead up stuff while the whole olys were on and I can’t remember exactly now but I probs saw something before the actual event. But that SD was the first full program I watched of theirs.

Ok, the moment I fell in love. I can’t really say I have en exact moment that fits that statement. I did immediately fall in love with their dancing, but as far as a non skating moment, the following is when I thought there’s definitely something different about them:

My thoughts upon seeing this:

On a small level: Wow that’s very coupley

I’m honestly not lying when I say I never did believe, or think of them as anything other than platonic. I don’t judge anyone for thinking that there was or they did upon seeing something like this. Idk, I think I just see things a bit differently in general. I say this seems ‘coupley’ because upon first glance they just seem so close and physically familiar with each other- not strictly in a ‘dance partner’ sense the way I see most dance partners. On the offical feed for the FD from PYC during the warm up the commentator says how VM have the handle on being the “couple”. As ice dancers that’s what they are, that’s what they present as, that’s what they make you believe. While I do think there’s some accuracy to that, I don’t like how it pigeon holes them. I think they portray that energy more in certain programs than others- and not just in their programs but in creating the whole aura of their ‘package’ for that season or program. For both programs this season I would say definitely they created that “couple” energy- and I would guess that’s a very easy state for them to flow into and out of with each other when they need or want to- it’s very natural for them (especially later on in their career), they aren’t faking anything- something like this is not a matter of choreography or something they practiced as part of their exit. You can tell that because it’s clearly their natural personalities shining through, that along with being after a skate that good and being so excited, a fake af coupley exit from the ice is literally the last thing on their minds- also there are dozens of times they exit all cuddly and close- almost all the time tbh. For the previous season, there was still a bit of that coupleyness but more so; in the same FD commentary as comparison they say VM’s ‘rivals’ are more so an ‘entity’- two becoming one. I’m not disputing that label with that team but this isn’t about them, and I feel TS just as honestly portray that two-becoming-one aura in and around something like Latch. It’s a merge of the coupleyness as in a relationship and two souls becoming one to create this art. It’s a subtle difference but it’s quite obvious at least to me.

I think the coupleyness comes easy to them because they just have so much natural chemistry that so few- certainly no other ID team I’ve ever seen has. They have immense affection for each other and probably on some level do find each other attractive, and as they matured it became very natural for them to slip in and out of that, not only on the ice but as I said in the headspace they are in surrounding the direction of their program/s for the season. We have to remember that they are dancers. Dance is an art form and when it’s done by those at the highest level (not for fun after-school dance lessons. Professionals) who literally live and breath it, they are spending a huge amount of time in a state that’s not fully ‘normal human’ behaviour. They are spending a lot of time in touch with different part of themselves where they have to abandon human insecurities and norms to inhabit the tone/story of each dance, and are allowed to interact with each other in a way that’s different to real life. Spending so much time in it, being so familiar and feeling so safe with each other can easily flow in and out of performance/practice and returning/ resetting to normal. I equate it a little bit the idea of method acting. I’m not saying TS are at all method actors, but spending so much time everyday in the headspace of, let’s say, their characters from MR, yes, they can and it’s very important for them to switch off and leave it behind to relax at the end of the day, but that movement and spirit does remain within you a bit until you move on to new chore/storyline’s etc.. (this was just a little side bar, I’ll go into more detail on this in future posts).

The main thing I thought, and the reason I fell in love with them: they are really different to anyone else, really genuine, unique, special. In this moment I felt that together they were in service to their art and that’s (part of) what allows this kind on public intimacy that could be seen as romantic, but to me instinctually I felt them as artists who’s physical relationship is comprised of trust in moving together.

More than anything from those Olympics, this was the moment that caught my eye and made me think that they were different- at the time I wasn’t completely sure of what level.

The initial feels and thoughts I had, which I continue to maintain and view them of having this characteristic (IMO) (which I’ve mentioned a few times but always struggle to find the words for so I’m just gonna say it blatantly this time and then explain my way out of it): He is very in charge of her. Not in a controlling way, not in valuing her as less than he way… in a way that is possible through unwavering trust, comfort, maturity, peace with each other, love, affection and care. It’s in a way in which it feels (to me) that Tessa is so safe in his arms, safe with him leading and somewhat controlling her movements even when they aren’t actually dancing. Like I said earlier, none of this is deliberate, planned, choreographed. It’s just how they are naturally or by habit, and if you’ve watched enough of them these are all behavioural traits they display all the time. This is all completely unconscious in the moment and as a result of familiarity.

The way he passes her left hand into his, after already switching from normal, standard dance hold into their special hand hold which only they do. He pulls her a little closer so he can wrap his arm around her shoulder and neck so he now has hold of her so securely in a way that she can’t really leave this situation. Before he does that though, T pulls her ponytail over her shoulder, again, completely unconsciously- not a deliberate thought to do that, maybe her back was sweaty and her hair was sticking a bit, idk, but none the less she does. Once he’s holding her she shuts her eyes and she holds onto his arm to be even closer and cuddlier while he whispers to her.. not that anyone would be able to hear if he didn’t get that close, but none the less he makes a point of being that close cause they were truly only words for her to hear. I have no place in assuming what was said but knowing afterwards that Scott made a point of saying how T was the strength for him that day, if I was to satisfy my own curiosity and given the body language I like to think it was something along the lines of “you did so well T/ you freaking rockstar/ I’m so proud of you/ that was so fun/ that’s my girl that was so good”. Whatever was said is followed by three big pats NOT on her boob you creeps chill the fuck out and she clearly says “thank you” (or maybe ‘you too’ but I’m confident it’s ‘thank you’). What makes me think he said something like the above is the way she kinda shyly drops her head as she says ‘thank you’, you know cause they are just such cheerleaders for each other and always say the sweetest things to each other so I just know it was something so incredibly kind and positively affirming (English??) and even though they would hear it from each other all the time how wonderful they are it is still such a lovely thing to hear and I imagine they would never get tired of being so proud of the other 🥲 (or she was just out of breathe- probably that but I like the first theory 😚). Here’s the really intimate part for me: As said before she (unconsciously/not deliberately) decides to put her pony tail over her shoulder for whatever reason, but as they finish their little cuddle, he takes her pony tail off her shoulder and drapes it back behind her, before one of his classic little neck/base of her skull squeezes (😵‍💫🫠🥴). AGAIN (cause I cbf with someone coming after me for misreading the situation/claiming it’s rehearsed or telling me not to see it as intimacy coz it’s not deliberate I’ll make the point again).. ITS NOT DELIBERATE. Which is exactly what makes all of it sooo intimate. That they are just naturally like this. But now that we have accepted that it is not deliberate and we can put that aside, can we just appreciate the intimacy for a moment in that she decided she wanted her pony tail over her shoulder, but he decides he wants it on her back and she doesn’t put it back on her shoulder after, so like it’s just so intimate that even with these tiny things that over 20 years have become so comfortable and natural and just a lovely part of their unique intimacy that she’s is perfectly comfortable with letting him *decide things like wrapping her into an almost choke hold kinda cuddle and choosing where her hair will go and being gently squeezed around the base of her neck at frequently random intervals as a way of being shown affection and delicacy is just a lot to see as your first non-skating introduction to the stunning anomaly that is VIRTUEMOIR 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯.

But she doesn’t at all want to leave the situation. She leans into him and indulges in that embrace and those sweet words of admiration. That thing I said about him being ‘in charge’ (or control) of her, is obviously a tricky word to use because of the implications it can have- so I probably shouldn’t use it but I like it in that once you know about them; their history, longevity.. I see in charge/control first from my perspective as what trusting of a partnership they clearly have and so clearly embodying the roles of S being the leader in the skating/dancing part of a man/woman partnership- this without knowing anything about them-just based on first impressions, but after that knowing more about them you see it in their personalities and all that trust built up produces the opportunity for so much comfort and (in T’s pov, and I guess mine as well being a girl I relate to her and how she is treated in this partnership) being ok with being lead and guided coz it’s exactly what happens when they dance- so it feels so natural. Without pretending to be a body language expert and really just going off my own eyes and emotions in watching this moment.. it’s so clearly a ‘coupleyness’ beyond simply friends or skating/dance partners or yes even lovers. It’s an intimacy I’d never seen before and my true, honest, first opinion of it from me as a dancer who at this time I’m my life specifically I was working very intimately with a partner was something I recognised as a closeness born out of commitment and abandon to their craft which they share a love for on such a deep, emotional level which has extended into their interactions together as best friends who share a more complex love then really anyone including them can comprehend.

So I think that’s why I fell in love with them; the dancing- not just skating, DANCING on ice like I’d never seen before along with a connection to their craft and each other I didn’t think was actually possible- especially not in public on the worlds biggest stage- this kind of intimacy I could only imagine in the seclusion of a quiet studio.. which for that matter, is 100% where the depths of their intimacy existed- in a place none of us will ever get to see and is only for them to share- those 6am mornings in a crappy hockey rink where they could say or feel anything was where the foundations of all this stemmed from- we only get to see the surface layer and if this layer is what produced such a deep fascination for them in so many of us just imagine the depth of understanding they have for their connection together. All that work to understand this person they would create moving art with at the highest athletic level we will ever see.

#omg that was longer then it probably should’ve been #lol imagine if I just answered this ask by saying ‘this’ then posting the gifs..#I’d probably have time for a social life hahahahahahaha #yeh nah tho this is a big fave moments and I obvs have lots of thinky thoughts about it #it’s a very nice moment which like I said as an intro to VM in a bit of a mind fuck

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strategicadventure · 7 years

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Episode 85 - A Bard’s Lament

i kinda already know a big thing that happens in this episode so i’ve not been overly eager to watch

Grog pulling out a piece of paper with a G on it is so cute

“Morpheus is fighting Neo!” - excited for this fight

“its a test already! I hate the SATs!”

“this is a nightmare, I just wanna hit him!” aww poor Travis looks like he’s breaking inside

“with gentleness there comes clarity” “I think you have to fuck him Grog”

10d10 necrotic damage?!!! OH SHIT

Earthbreaker Groon catches Grog’s attack - “oh god its so awesome!”

Vex asking if she should flash him and Keyleth saying “it couldn’t hurt the rest of us either!” nobody on this show is straight, polymachina exists, everything is beautiful

“ooo, he learned to be a dick!”

HDYWTDT!!!!!

GROG GOT POWER FROM KORD!

the knuckles are exalted now this is so cool!! enlarged resistance to cold, fire, and lightening? awesome

oh man that was so close! i wonder what would have happened if Grog had lost

its really interesting how the gods seem to be placing their favor on the various members of VM. the Vecna storyline is gonna be, if not next then very soon, a huge thing and having favor with the gods will be important. I’d love to see more with Kord and Grog and with Melora and Keyleth. I wonder if/when Pelor will make an appearance or more of a presence, given that he is the deity connected with Whitestone

“he did just take down an old man, so our streak against the elderly continues”

“kitten is the baseline hp counter in dungeons and dragons”

“if wizardry is Bob Fosse, druidism is Twyla Tharp” - I just want to thank Marisha so much for this

Oh Scanlan. and Grog’s face when he finds out that Scanlan didn’t hear his contribution.

Scanlan’s points are well made in regarding the knowledge of his parents and personal stuff about him from before VM formed, though he’d always deflect questions about his age. I know all these problems were a long time coming; as soon as Kaylie was introduced I figured Scanlan would have to make a decision at some point, and the pacing of the conclave arc kept him from really addressing it, but it really feels that key things have been going wrong for Scanlan the last few weeks. The others, Vax’s most recently, treatment of him in that period of time did not help at all. When Matt made the point to describe how small Scanlan felt in comparison to the dragons, then Vax picking him up and putting him down I knew that was going to be a defining point. I see where Percy was going with the prank after Scanlan was revived, but that was just one more thing in Scanlan’s eyes.

Scanlan’s hurt for a lot of reasons, but many of them are him lying to himself in some way and then snapping out at the others so they hurt too. Lying about the reasons they were doing things. This argument and division is so painful and real, they’re worse than friends they’re family is right.

[watching this again and its just so real. its one of those big family blowups where everyone says exactly what hurts other people the most. also, Sam looks at his notes to make sure of Percy’s parents names I think]

I keep starting and stopping and starting crying. “I need to be a Shorthalt for awhile”

Scanlan knows Percy’s parents names and Kaylie overheard everything

Grog gave Scanlan his salt lick rock. why is that so sad to me?

Grog going out to talk to Percy, wanting to send spies to keep an eye on the Shorthalts. I mean, obviously what Scanlan is going through, but this is a huge shake to Grog and it’ll be interesting to see how he deals with it

“I know we don’t always agree, and I know I can be unkind, but...you know you’re family right?” “I don’t know much, but I do know that” “its nice having an older brother again” Grog’s little smile at that!

aaaand there’s the final bout of crying! lay me down and let moss cover me

I always sorta placed Scanlan in the role that Troy had on Community - the connection that held everything together. Since the aftermath of his leaving was really only missing a Norwegian troll doll on fire, I feel justified in my mental comparison

and a darkest timeline joke from Keyleth! Life got dark Vex!

Pike and Vax in fun buns is a cute image. except for the fact that they’re hungover and miserable, but still

Grog trusting Pike, Scanlan, and Vex the most - and Vex because he’s seen her tits! then Vex asking if seeing them again would cheer Grog up! “its so touching and ridiculous at the same time!”

Keyleth asking the Sun Tree to watch over Scanlan and Kaylie

tree lag

OMG their reactions when they find out its Sam’s new character! Laura trying to throw a tissue at him! [I went back and rewatched the Tary section, and as soon as Matt says they see a gold golem Travis quickly leans forward to stare at Sam suspiciously.]

Taryon Darrington. SAM. Sam what is that even. also, this character has a golem scribe ffs SAM.

“new dad’s wearing old dad’s skin” “I hate Tary he’s a dick”; I love that you can tell when Laura is really upset at someone cause she’ll use their full name - “how DARE you SAMUEL!”

“you, little elf girl, what’s your name?” SAM YOU ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE

I keep glancing at Matt cause the faces he is making are just ugh just, Sam and Matt are such little shits this is amazing and horrible and I love it

Tary is a rich prat who hunts for the trophies

“I don’t like new people right now as of yesterday!”

“he’s like the worst alter ego version of Percy! he’s a rich kid who just buys all of his cool toys! no offense Percy”

“Doty only listens to me. If you had some sort of pet you’d understand” OMG “I’m gonna love Tary so much!” if Sam gets through this character without Laura literally killing him I will be surprised

ok the rod and the invisibility coin are super cool

....is this gonna be the second time they have randomly accidentally killed a normal citizen in Ank’Harel? first the lightening javelin now a crossbow bolt

THE CREW IS REVOLTING WITH NERF GUNS

that was awful and yet perfect. Sam looked way to fucking pleased with himself, Matt too frankly the little shits.

#critical role #cr spoilers #tag for watching #a bard's lament #holy shit #so much happened in this episode like holy shit so much

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cathrynstreich · 4 years

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A Continuum of Leadership: An Interview With NAR 2020 President Vince Malta

Malta Carries Forth the Vision for REALTORS®

Vince Malta

Vince Malta recognized a long time ago that there’s great strength in numbers. As a third-generation REALTOR® and CEO and broker of Malta & Co., Inc. in San Francisco, he saw firsthand that when like-minded people come together for a common cause, they can move mountains.

“Associations create advocacy and allow us to have a voice in what’s going on in our industry,” he explains.

Now, as Malta steps in as 2020 president of the National Association of REALTORS® (NAR), he brings his rich experience and intense passion to help guide the industry he’s loved for 43 years. Find out what’s at the top of the agenda for Malta and the leadership team in this exclusive interview.

Maria Patterson: Vince, I wanted to begin with your background. I see that you have a law degree, so I’m curious to know if you always intended to follow your family’s path into real estate. Vince Malta: No, I did not. I recognized that real estate is not an easy business. To be successful, it takes many hours, and you have to work beyond the 9-to-5 regimen, so I thought I’d see if there was anything out there I liked more. I got a law degree, which provided opportunities and opened doors, but I kept coming back to real estate. I had grown up in real estate—I would clean properties, collect rent and do the things a property manager would do. Ultimately, my love was real estate. I tried to do something else, but if it’s in you, it’s in you. This is now my 43rd year in the business.

MP: I’m sure your law degree has come in handy, though… VM: When you learn the law, what you really learn is a way of thinking and looking at things. You realize that there are two sides to every situation. This has helped me in negotiating and running a real estate business.

MP: What is it about real estate that you love the most? VM: The relationships. I so appreciate the people you meet along this journey—it’s like no other business. I’ve been so blessed to be a member of this association and to have made so many relationships. But the key is our relationship with clients. That is what will ultimately lead to our success. Technology is not going to supplant our role. It’s going to enhance our role if we utilize it properly to nurture relationships and help ensure that the customer has a one-on-one experience.

MP: So you don’t find the new tech models a threat to REALTORS® then? VM: Rather than dreading it, I’m excited about the opportunity created by the new models out there. I’m of the belief that the role we play is so essential that we can’t be replaced, and the new models give us a chance to prove that. People will pick it apart and take pieces of it, but ultimately, what we provide in the real estate experience, as I’m standing here, is not replaceable.

MP: So, Vince, you have a long history of being very involved at the association level, starting with the California Association of REALTORS® (C.A.R.). Why is it important to have this level of involvement, and how did you balance this with running a brokerage? VM: It’s all about convincing people around you that it’s necessary to be involved, and then making sure you have a support team so that you can do both effectively. We’re a small, independent brokerage—a family business—so we’re like a majority of brokers. I realized the importance of organized real estate and getting together with colleagues so you’re not living in a vacuum. For smaller independent firms, the association was absolutely essential for staying up to date. Also, some things we can’t accomplish on an individual level, but we can achieve them through an association of like-minded people working for the same objective. Associations create advocacy and allow us to have a voice in what’s going on in our industry.

MP: What are your thoughts upon assuming the role of NAR president for 2020? What are you most excited about? VM: I’m excited to be working with a great team of professionals. I’m trying to deemphasize my role as president and focus more on being a member of the team that would like to help facilitate change and provide some level of vision. And not just my own vision—I want to go out and seek the opinions of the like-minded and not like-minded. The greatest obstacle is not the change itself, it’s the implementation…the politics. The only way to effectuate change is to get everyone on board and create win-win scenarios. As a leader, I’m looking forward to facilitating change.

MP: Will you be continuing the team approach to the presidency? VM: Elizabeth (Mendenhall), John (Smaby), Charlie (Oppler) and I are not looking at the presidency as one term. We are showing members that we’re a leadership team that works together. We’re not working in one-year increments. We’re working to change the organization and structure. We need to start moving at the speed of business, not the speed of an association. I couldn’t care less about my legacy. I just want to get the job done and keep it going for future leadership. We have to keep moving it forward.

MP: So what are the main objectives for your tenure as president? VM: First of all, we need to emphasize the REALTORS®’ role as the best source of property information for consumers by equipping them with tools like RPR® and realtor.com®, and making sure that consumers are armed with the correct information. With emerging models like iBuyers and $8 billion-plus worth of venture capital money coming into the industry, we have to make sure consumers are going in with their eyes open. We are working with realtor.com to make sure our value proposition is expressed to consumers as other models are emerging. We have to enhance our value and provide tools and products to help them succeed. Our Commitment to Excellence program is a good example of that. It’s voluntary, but it’s a great program members can embrace to shore up their weaknesses and help the consumer more.

We also need to collaborate with diverse industry groups and make a positive impact on housing equality and affordability. We can’t be torn apart by a fragmented Congress and political groups. Affordability means so many different things, and the solutions are very complex. We are also driving community development by working closely with our commercial members. We need to collaborate more to engage the community and create jobs, because jobs and housing are linked.

MP: And what are the biggest issues confronting consumers? VM: First of all, choices. They don’t know which direction to go in, which information is valid or what to rely on. They’re armed with more information than ever and they need someone to help them make sense of it and interpret the data so they can move forward. They have to make sure they’re working with the most accurate data and working with a real estate professional in their corner.

The second is affordability. There needs to be ways to create more affordable opportunities for people. Third, consumers are confused about which way to go. Interest rates are low, but the economy is cooling, so they’re wondering if they should save money and sit it out. They don’t have a crystal ball, but generally, it’s driven right now by lack of inventory. The consumer has limited choices.

MP: And what advice do you have for REALTORS® trying to navigate change and uncertainty? VM: While I’m not sure what tomorrow will bring, I am certain that REALTORS® will do what we’ve always done: make the necessary changes and mindshifts to remain successful. We’ve been adapting for years and will continue to adapt.

For more information, please visit www.nar.realtor.

Maria Patterson is RISMedia’s executive editor. Email her your real estate news ideas at [email protected].

The post A Continuum of Leadership: An Interview With NAR 2020 President Vince Malta appeared first on RISMedia.

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fromtheground39-blog · 5 years

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Microsoft DOESN'T CARE - WAN Show Aug 16, 2019

Mac or PC, whichever one you personally prefer. You have to admit that there are advantages to the other side. Let me think about it. You simply cannot run, say, Final Cut Pro or Logic Pro on Windows and, at the same time, gaming on Mac OS Sox only there were some way that you could run both of them at near full speed simultaneously on the same PC. Oh, what's that there. I guess there is so behind me and Anthony is a machine that we call the indecision ater. It can be a Mac, it can be a PC and through some software magic it can actually be both of them at the same time as you can see right here so uh. What do you say guys? Should we walk you through how we did it and take it for a spin? I think so after this message from our sponsor Vertigo's PL 4500 RGB LED upgrade kit. Wirelessly connects to your PC and features tons of color customization options, including audio and visual sync, and more check them out at the link in the video description, [ Music ]. If you've seen any of our videos involving hackintosh virtual machines, you'll probably have some idea where we're going with this. If not, here's the twenty second version using Red, Hat's, KVM hypervisor many modern computers can actually have their resources like CPU cores system memory or even graphics cards, divide it up and then allocate it to multiple users or workloads. Using this technology you can even install two operating systems on the same computer that exists completely independently of each other, as we've done in the past. So for today's project, then we've got something really really cool for you guys. So we've taken an AMD reisen. 930. 900. X12 core processor and then what we've done is: we've split those 12 cores straight down the middle between two virtual machines that will run Windows on one side and Mac OS on the other for graphics, we've gone with an RT X, 20 atti for our windows box And a Radeon 7 for our Mac, then we've passed those graphics cards through to their respective VMs, this method of assigning our GPUs results in relatively little lost performance. So the main challenge we ran into for this project. While there were many firsts and videos, legendary code, 43 error, Nvidia, obviously doesn't like consumers running their GeForce GPUs in a VM just go out and buy a Quadro. Combating some weird stuttering in Windows was the next issue that we had to fix and we fixed that by switching to message. Signaled interrupts instead of traditional electrical line based interrupts like you'd, normally get in a processor these days or ever really and finally, getting the mac OS catalina beta to use the drivers that Apple included for virtualized storage. That last one in particular, is prop really exciting, because Apple has never supported it in the past, make sure you're subscribed, because I'm already working on convincing Linus here to let me work on a video on Mac virtualization. Once we get the Mac Pro in yeah. We'Re definitely gonna be doing that. Anywho, where things take a bit of a turn today, is how we're going to interact with our Frankenstein machine. So in the past, if you wanted to use multiple computers, you'd either have to use a hardware switcher and conveniently also call KVM multiple monitors or in the case of the LGU d 79 that we used once before. You would have to be content with 1080p quadrants of a single 16 by 9 4k display. Today. We have something quite special. This display from Phillips is the 499 p, 9 H and it's a 1440p super ultra wide display, with a double wide 32 by 9 aspect ratio, which means that what we're effectively looking at here is a bezel free single display setup where we've got the equivalent of 2 27 inch monitors side by side with no bezel in between them, so we can completely seamlessly interact with both of our VMs. How do you do that? You might be asking well well so did you do that? Yeah? This energy is still kind of trying to work out the kinks of their 2.0 release. So I decided to use a different piece of software, just kind of switched things I'll call share mouse, which has some, unfortunately, agro marketing, but hey if it works, it works and for the most part, although there are some glitches like you can see my Mac OS Cursor is actually still kind of ghosted over here there you go and you can see kind of the header of my windows cursor. For the most part it actually does work. We can move the cursor seamlessly from one of our displays over to the other, as if the imaginary line down the middle didn't exist, in fact, actually we could probably do some really cool stuff. Like pretend that the whole thing is one machine, so I actually don't know how to switch the wallpaper on a Mac, but I'm gonna go ahead and do this one nice, it's an abomination, isn't it beautiful? Oh, I like this too LTTE store.com by a water bottle. Ok, then, so we're good. Essentially, what we've got here is to rise in 5:30 600 systems, but on one machine, we're running Mac OS and, on the other, one we're running Windows with seamless Mouse movement between them, which means, if I wanted to. I could browse the Internet over here in Safari and then potentially use an Apple Magic Trackpad for gesture control. While I fire up, let's say game, like shadow of the Tomb Raider over on the other side. Wait am I just running in a circle right now? Yes, so I'm like okay, I'm bored of playing video games or whatever and I go over - and I browse the forum. Then I'm just like oh yeah, you know what I'm gonna go back to playing video games, freakin nuts yeah and you can set up a keyboard shortcut to switch automatically, so you don't need to Creole tap. We just haven't set that up yet so, let's say game play, isn't your number one priority, maybe you're a content creator like a youtuber or a twitch streamer and that's kind of more of your jam. So what you could do, then, is capture some gameplay with shadow play or OBS and then port that directly over to the Mac by dragging and dropping and there you can use that if you're more comfortable with it check this out. So I just grabbed the clip that I recorded right now, while you're talking dragged it over the middle line and loop there. It is, let's see what the back looks like boom nice just like that now doesn't copy that quickly: we're limited to about 20 megabytes. A second, so there's probably some work. The developer could do on that, but hey the footage is there now. One thing I did want to mention is that we didn't manage to login to the App Store. We think it might be something to do with our copy of Final Cut Pro being on my consumer register at Apple account and this being a developer only OS, because it's still the preview but hey. The point is, if you're comfortable, editing in Final Cut Pro, you can create your content on Windows and then you can edit it together on the Mac, and then you could log into YouTube on Windows, and you can upload it from Windows. If you wanted to pretty cool best of all, if you want, you can select just one of the VMS for full productivity, with the press of a button and another button and another button and another button, this they told us it was gonna, be just like One button to switch yeah yeah. They said that they could actually set it up to just switch by a single button. But as far as I can tell no, but it does have a KVM and that is the keyboard, video mouse rendition of KBM, so ready hat. So, what's cool about that at the very least, is that if you want to use just one set of peripherals for both of your OSS, you can by plugging in through the monitor right? Let me just switch inputs here. Obviously, I could change it to full resolution, but yeah as we can see it's being a little bit dumb and also our Mac needs to be unplugged and replugged. Sometimes, in order to pick up this yeah, that's just Apple things. I think. Okay, it's a little janky, but what's cool about our setup here is that it doesn't even have to be Windows and Mac OS. It'S just that, thanks to the Mac OS catallena beta Mac OS now supports not just virtualized storage like Anthony mentioned before that allowed us to take our single PCIe gen 4. So like this high performance, 2 terabyte SSD and split it up, but it even supports other verdi, o devices. Now so we can get access to near native speeds over the network as well. Like imagine what it would be like to take a machine like this and be able to split something like the upcoming 16 core Raisa 939 50 X, I mean, even without all the PCI Express Lanes and memory bandwidth that you could get from something like a thread. Ripper you'd be compromising very little janky NASA side with a dual setup like this, so I mean. Maybe we should come back to this concept when that launches, make sure you guys are subscribed and stay tuned, because if nothing else we'll definitely be checking out virtualization on the upcoming Mac Pro yeah and by that time I think that there's a lot more, that I Could do to smooth out the experience overall like having a virtualized 9p shared drive between the two OSS that lets it basically become a network drive that native speeds, but that's all we have time for today. So if you haven't seen it already check out our previous Mac, virtualization videos, we'll have them linked below pulse way, is a real-time, remote monitoring and management software that helps you fix problems on the go you can send commands from routerhosting any mobile device and the software is Compatible with Windows, Mac and Linux pulse way, single app gives you remote desktop functionality, so you can get access to real-time status system resources. You can see logged in users, you can monitor network performance, you can manage Continue windows updates and more, in fact, the sky's the limit, because you can create and deploy your own custom scripts to automate your IT tasks so try it for free at pulse wacom or through Our link in the video description hi thanks for watching

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josephkitchen0 · 5 years

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Raising Sheep For Profit: How to Sell Raw Fleece

By Bonnie Sutten – When I first started raising sheep for profit, raw fleece sales were on the bottom of my priority list. I thought that if I was raising sheep for wool, it was the processed roving or other products that would be the way to go. I spent a lot of time and money, believing that raw wool would not be profitable.

When we purchased the CVM/Romeldale sheep over other sheep breeds, we were very excited about their ability to produce a unique and beautiful wool, and we were soon flooded with requests to buy raw fleece. Today, the sale of our raw fleece now stands at about 40% to 50% of my total wool sales. From the beginning of our work in raising sheep for profit, our farm set a goal to continue to raise this breed with the handspinner in mind. This starts with not putting any wool into spinner’s hands that does not first meet strict preparation guidelines.

Because of this, we never sell any fleeces on shearing day. There is never time that day to thoroughly skirt a fleece, and if you sell it to someone and they take it home and show someone else, that unskirted fleece is going to represent your farm to the public. Sure, they can reserve it, but it won’t leave our farm until it is skirted and has our stamp of approval. It just isn’t worth it, plus, you would have to lower the price considerably if you were going to sell an unskirted fleece by the pound.

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I am a handspinner, and have purchased my fair share of raw wool. As a wool customer, as well as a wool producer, I have learned there are definitely various degrees of wool available for purchase. It is disappointing to send money for a product, along with shipping charges, and open the box and find a fleece that is less than a quality product. In some purchased fleeces I have found burrs and sticks, large hay and straw pieces, numerous second cuts, and even manure tags (feces) from the animal. In one particularly bad incident, I opened a box of wool and it was all felted together!

In raising sheep for profit, we choose a breed of sheep renowned for its superior wool production so it has been important for us to treat the sales of this wool with utmost care. When someone buys raw fleece from our farm, they are only getting the best part of that fleece. For our prices, which range from $18.00-$25.00 per pound, we only put on the scale and into the box prime wool that has been hand skirted (wool that has been covered while on the animal, and skirted with a “fine tooth comb”).

At the same time, with all the time and effort that I have put into raising sheep for profit, the cost of my fleece reflects my 365-day investment. I want buyers to see the quality that particular animal has the ability to produce. I also understand that my customer is going to form an opinion – in many cases, of the entire breed – by my fleeces. It is not fair, but it is true. I do this myself if I buy a bad fleece from a particular breed, and I have to force my self to try again from a different breeder of that same breed.

Preparing a Fleece

Cover your investment. By this I mean, literally, cover your sheep with a sheep coat for the cleanest possible fleeces. There are some breeds out there that do not do well covered (like the Icelandic), but the majority do very well. Matilda coats, which we use on our sheep, are lightweight, breathable fabric that reflects the sun and UV rays to prevent sun damage, and keep the sheep cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter. By using these coats, there are no sun-bleached tips that can break off, and the wool does not rot from having snow and ice on the sheep. We have only needed to remove these when our Michigan summer has been in the 100s and extremely high humidity. Romeldales do very well in our climate, and they do very well with the coats on to protect their wool.

Remember: Even though I am focusing on CVM/Romeldale sheep, most other sheep breeds can be covered with sheep coats, as well as Angora goats and alpacas. If you do not cover your sheep, you must feed and house your animals in the most efficient way to keep fleeces from being destroyed by the elements and contamination.

The beginning of the cycle is the day your sheep are shorn; the work begins all over again.

A sheep, by nature, is designed to produce wool. You need to offer optimum nutrition when considering what to feed sheep, and plenty of fresh water year round. I had heated water in all my pens this year and the fleeces have never looked nicer. I know there are many people who say they do fine on snow, but when you feed animals dry hay, they need water to properly aid digestion and kidney function. They also require adequate shelter and living conditions.

A deworming and vaccination program is necessary, as well as keeping all diseases out of your flock such as sore mouth and foot rot. A sheep can’t produce quality fiber if its immune system is constantly taxed by disease, not to mention that it is immoral and unethical to sell any product from a contagious animal.

The Harvest

The optimum time for a ewe to be shorn is shortly before or after lambing: The event can cause a break in the wool which can compromise the integrity of the wool fibers. About a year later, (sometimes more or less, depending on the growth rate of your breed’s wool) you can finally reap the rewards of all your hard work.

Take a look at your fleeces, feel them, lay them out and really inspect them. Now pat yourself on the back for all your hard work and dedication to produce the best fleece your animal can grow.

You should have before you a lustrous, clean, healthy-looking fleece. The fiber locks should ping with strength when you tug on them from either end, not make a tearing sound or break in half. They should smell like a sheep, not like manure or urine. If they have been getting fresh air and have clean living quarters, you should smell the proof in the fleece. If your fleece is not up to these standards, that fleece needs to go in the junk box used for felting or quilt batts, mulch, or insulation, but should not be sold to handspinners.

When the fleece is shorn off of the animal you should remove any of the manure tags or soiled fleece. Store the fleece in a container that allows air to circulate through it. My preference is cardboard boxes with loose fitting tops. These can be labeled with a permanent marker and stacked in an area that is free from moisture and pests.

Skirting a Fleece

Just because our fleeces are covered, it doesn’t mean all the work is eliminated. When you skirt a fleece, get comfortable; you are going to be there for a while. Find an area with good lighting, either outside or inside. Personally, in the cold spring months, I skirt my fleeces inside. I lay a bed sheet out on the living room floor and put in a good movie. Many people would prefer to do this chore outside, especially if you have a special area just for this task. You can build a really nice skirting table with a mesh screen top so the small pieces of vegetation fall out easily onto the ground. Even though my sheep are covered, my fleeces take me a minimum of 45 minutes to an hour to completely skirt and prepare.

Since I skirt most of my fleeces a few days after shearing, they are free of mildew, stains and other problems associated with storing fleeces for a long period of time. I recommend that if you can’t get to your fleeces right away to process or spin, at least lay them out flat to let them air dry in a protected area to remove any moisture from them.

First, lay them cut side down and remove all the big pieces of vegetable matter (VM)-hay, grass, straw, sticks, etc. After you get that done, make sure you tear off all the belly wool and heavily contaminated neck wool and discard. Many times the shearer will throw that off to the side so it never gets mixed in, but in case he didn’t, double check. Also, remove any britch wool, if your fleece has it. It is best described as “hair” that is coarse, straight wool on the lower parts of the sheep and on the back leg. Britch wool is not desired by handspinners and should be put in the junk box, which as I mentioned, is for non-spinning projects.

Next, flip the wool over and remove any second cuts the shearer left. There should be a minimum of these if you have a good shearer. Second cuts are created when the blades are passed over the same area twice and have left stubble (short pieces) in the wool. These produce bothersome neps (lint-like blobs) in the yarn and finished products and are very irritating to handspinners.

Finally, to get to the prime wool, select out the areas that the coat has covered, and set them aside. This is “prime wool” and can now be sorted out to sell to handspinners. The remaining wool that was not covered by the coat will vary from sheep to sheep as to what its destination will be. Our non-covered wool is usually graded into two types, “roving quality” and “batt quality.”

The roving quality will have a low amount of VM that is not embedded in deeply into the fibers and has a minimum length of three inches. If it has any dirt on the tips it will still be suitable for roving; the heat and detergent will remove that. (Editor’s note: “roving” is wool whose fibers have been straightened and made parallel to each other by the process of carding, forming a sort of loose “rope” of wool up to about an inch in diameter.) If it is shorter than three inches I put it into a different group, to have wool batts made out of it for craft projects and quilting.

Packaging Your Wool

Your product must be appealing! I can’t stress this enough, especially if you’re raising sheep for profit from the sales of wool and fleece. Imagine yourself as the recipient of your wool and picture opening it for the first time. Do you want to say “Wow!” or do you want to hurry and close it back up, throw it in the closet, and hide it from your spouse so you’re not embarrassed you spent good money on your wool? Personally, I have had both reactions with wool that I have bought from someone else. Needless to say, I never buy again from the people who sold me the latter type.

First, find a nice, medium-weight box. I like to use ones that are just plain, cardboard boxes. I find it in poor taste to receive wool in a toaster box or crock pot box, but maybe that is just me. Also, these types of printed boxes are generally heavier, and I don’t feel it is fair to have to pay shipping for heavy packaging. I think it better to search a little and use a plain box with minimal print on it.

Now, you are ready to fill it. Take a container and weigh it empty so you can subtract the weight from the wool. As you start selecting wool from your pile, look it over well, in case you have missed VM, second cuts or second quality wool the first time around.

If the fleece is variegated, spotted or patterned, make sure you have indicated that in your description of the fleece. Now you are going to have to try and have a complimentary color scheme if they have ordered less than the full fleece. Try to keep the colors similar so that if it is used for a project they won’t get really dramatic color variations unless they have requested that.

After you have weighed out the proper amount, place it in the box. Make sure the box is big enough to accommodate the wool without damaging it, but don’t over-package it with too large a box, either. I like to line my boxes with tissue paper. It keeps the wool from poking out as you are trying to tape it up and it also looks neater and compliments the contents. If there is fiber from more than one animal, separate it with tissue paper and make sure you label which animal is which with a small piece of paper or a label on the tissue.

You can pack wool pretty tightly, pushing it gently down to get the air out of it. When the box is opened, it will fluff up again. I tape the invoice right on the top of the tissue so they can find it easily when they open the package. Include an address inside, just in case your package is damaged or the label is lost.

Finally, label the package clearly with a neatly addressed label. I make a point to ask customers how they want their package shipped, because some carriers work better to different parts of the country. Then you can get the approximate shipping cost from the internet or phone so you can let the buyer know.

Money Matters When Raising Sheep for Profit

I know too many small producers who are too trusting and ship the item and never see the money. Always collect the money before shipping the wool! Many fiber producers are honest people and they assume the rest of the world is as honest as they are. Unfortunately, this is not always true. Let your customer know the total including shipping costs and then wait for them to send payment before shipping their order.

Some small businesses have invested in a credit card machine and can process orders more quickly when they can take a credit card. We have not yet made this investment, but if our farm business continues to grow, we may consider it for the future.

Getting Still More Business

You may want to include extras in your package. A photo and information about the animal that produced the fiber they bought, a fiber sample card, roving sample, soap sample, brochure or other small item would be great. You have a captive audience with this customer, and you have the perfect opportunity to present your other products from your farm.

Repeat customers are so important in this business. Remember, you have produced the best, most cared-for fleece; now you need to present it in its best light.

A nice gesture is to include a stamped return postcard for their comments and questions. You can also use that opportunity to have them complete a survey about what their preferences are in buying a fleece. You can target your market and next year know more information about your customers. You might even want to send them a few extra business cards so they can share your name with friends.

Remember to rate your final package on the “Wow!” scale. If you don’t think it is a wholehearted “Wow!” then you have more work to do.

Although I am so partial to my CVM/Romeldale sheep, I do love to spin many other breeds of sheep. I firmly believe if you have selected a breed you truly love when you’re raising sheep for profit, you can achieve good if not excellent prices for your wool if you follow careful business practices.

There is no shortage of wool in this country, but there is a shortage of outstanding wool for handspinners. Cover your fleeces, keep your sheep in tip-top condition, prepare and package your fibers with the utmost attention to detail, and you will find your wool sales booming.

Originally published in sheep! July/August 2003 and regularly vetted for accuracy.

Raising Sheep For Profit: How to Sell Raw Fleece was originally posted by All About Chickens

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lbcybersecurity · 6 years

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What is your product and what does it do?

Lessons I learned trying to make the most of vendor briefings

I’ve always been a sort of ‘cut-to-the-chase’ kind of guy. I’m self-taught when it comes to security and technology. Over the years, I’ve learned how to skim through a book, article or website to extract the important information. Sometimes I’m just trying to figure out how to do something, or I’m looking for an answer to a specific question.

Just tell me what time it is, I don’t need to know how atomic time clock frequency standards work.

Conversely, I also have an appreciation for context and a good story — as long as you eventually get to the point.

Anatomy of a Vendor Briefing

Here’s how the average vendor briefing usually goes.

The WebEx Tax (5min)

Waiting for everyone to join, restarting WebEx or some other screen-sharing app because it’s misbehaving. Chit-chat about weather and where everyone is physically based, or happens to be at the moment. I quickly communicate that attempts to talk sports are wasted on me — I just don’t follow them anymore.

Introductions (5min)

These are important — I want to understand who I’m talking to. I want to know whether or not I can ask technical questions. I want to understand the backgrounds of who is on the phone.

About the company (5min)

How is the company doing? How did it start? Where is it located? How many employees? Is it growing? What about that lawsuit? Who are its customers? What company size/verticals are being targeted?

The Problem Statement (10min+)

This is where about half of vendors start to lose me. Typically, I’m talking to a vendor in a space that I cover closely and have covered for years. I’ve probably written about this space, given talks about it and discussed it at length… well, you get the idea. This is also where platitudes and hyperbole start to roll out. Silver bullets and ‘one weird trick’ to fix security! Most of these meetings are occurring over the phone without video, so the vendor may not hear the sound of my eyeballs violently rolling back.

On the other hand, I do want to hear the problem statement from the vendor, provided it is concise. The problem statement helps me understand how the vendor sees their market and their place in that market. Sure, I understand it, but I want to see it through the vendor’s eyes. In some cases, the problem statement reveals an outdated or artificial view (in my opinion), but in others, it offers insights or perspectives I hadn’t considered before.

Recommendations:

Ask the analyst a few questions to gauge their familiarity with the state of security in this particular market segment.

Be concise — briefing an analyst isn’t the same as talking to a sales lead.

The Product (10min+)

This is the most important section, especially in security, where the variety of products and technologies combined with the prevalence of buzzwords can result in some very confusing messaging.

WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!

Recommendations:

Please start this with an architecture slide. Too often, I find myself wondering throughout this portion what the product actually is. I’m hearing about features and functionality, but I don’t know if it’s SaaS, a hardware appliance I rack in my datacenter, a VM I download and deploy, a managed service… This is important context to have for the rest of the conversation!

Lay out all your products and services, even if you’re only focusing on one in this call — this also helps to give important context.

Mention partners and integrations — few security products these days can survive long without integrating into the customer’s existing environment. I want to understand where you overlap, where you replace and where you complement.

Roadmap, competition, future of the market (remainder)

Most of security is a missing feature market, so chances are good that your product may not be long for this world. How are you going to handle that? Especially for startups — if you’re counting on an acquisition exit, how do you ensure you’ll have a seat when the music stops?

The next meeting

If this one went well, I might be interested to see a demo or speak with a customer. Sometimes I want to see a demo because I’m excited or skeptical. Demos are typically easier to keep to 30 minutes because the meeting will be focused just on a screenshare and walk-through of the product.

Other Recommendations

Briefing Length

I find I really need an hour for a briefing. 30 minutes usually ends up feeling rushed.

Analysts are not Sales Leads

When talking to an analyst, your goal isn’t to convince them to buy your product. Instead, you want them to understand your company, products and goals. Make the analyst understand why different customers would want to buy the product and the different approaches that get the customer to sign a PO.

Ideally, you want to make a fan out of an analyst. An analyst that casually or actively mentions your company or product is a huge win. Everyone wants word-of-mouth marketing, but analysts tend to have ‘bigger mouths’ and more influence. Help the analyst understand:

What you do

Why you do it

Your target market

Market differentiation

Use cases

Roadmap and long-term goals

Have a purpose

You sell encryption? That’s great, but how’s it different from the other encryption? Why would I go with yours over another? Do you compete entirely on price and features, or do you have a deeper story and purpose that draw customers in and make them want to be loyal to you?

Buzzwords

Don’t use them unless it’s efficient to do so. For example, if your product is EDR, just say you play in the EDR space. If it’s EDR plus some innovation, don’t avoid the EDR term because you don’t want to be ‘pigeonholed’ with your competitors. It just ends up being confusing.

I remember the first time I talked to FireEye. And the second. And the third. Each time, the sales person described the product (the NX appliance was the only product at this time), and it came off sounding like an IDS/IPS. They ensured me that it wasn’t an IDS/IPS and proceeded to use the same words to describe it again. It wasn’t until I got an engineer on the phone for that fourth call that I was finally able to understand what the product did.

Call a spade a spade — not a next-gen superior triangular manual digging tool. You can even call it an awesome spade if you think it’s awesome, just use words a normal person would understand.

Clarify B2B relationships

DON’T use the terms integrate, partner and alliance interchangeably. They have different meanings.

Integration: “We did some work, they didn’t have to do anything. In fact, we didn’t even really talk to them — we’re just ingesting their API/feed.”

Partnership: “We got together, talked about it, and each of us built pieces that work together in some way.”

Alliance: “We got together and built something entirely new”

Additional DOs and DON’Ts

Go over the agenda for the call and set expectations right at the start. If I’m expecting a demo and there’s no one on the call that can give a demo, I’m going to be disappointed.

Use specific examples or anonymous customer examples

Walk through demos

Give me access to the product, if this can be done easily

Give your pitch to an engineer/product manager to ensure you’re explaining it correctly — nothing’s worse than being contradicted by an engineer during a briefing. We’re going to second guess everything else you’ve said.

Suppress toaster popups during a screenshare. Or don’t. Sometimes the content of your IMs and Emails is VERY revealing. More revealing than your General Council would be comfortable with.

Share your presentations beforehand. I can ask better questions if I know what we’re going to cover. Also, because WebEx WILL fail you.

Learn how to use the screenshare app and/or Powerpoint before the call. I’m frequently amazed at how many people don’t know how to get Powerpoint full-screen.

Go over product naming/branding — I’m also amazed at the number of vendors that never even tell you what product they’re talking about and don’t reference it in the slides.

Tell me how it is priced, sold and licensed.

Tell me cool customer stories

Don’t

Rely on an engineer to explain things — if the marketing/sales guy can’t explain it or doesn’t understand it, you’re not ready to brief an analyst.

BAD: “I’ll have to check with one of our engineers on that”

WORSE: The engineer is on the call and confuses the situation more.

Badmouth competitors — there’s just no excuse for that. If you think you do something better or have an advantage, fine — tell me that. But don’t start telling me how much more effective your product is unless you’ve got some data from a study that I can review. And no, a Ponemon PDF is not “data from a study”.

Make fun of other products — I’ve found this usually backfires. In almost every case I’ve seen a vendor do this, the flaw they’re pointing out exists in their own product as well.

Example: a security awareness vendor was campaigning a piece on “AV’s Dirty Little Secret”, which turned out to be that AV wasn’t 100% effective. No shit! What’s the effectiveness of security awareness tools again?

Make me fill out a form on your website to get basic details about your products. Often, to fill gaps in the briefing, I’ll go to the website to fill in the details. Maybe I forgot to ask what platforms the product is compatible with, or when the company was founded. Please don’t make it hard to find this information. If you put me in a position where I have to endure sales calls in exchange for basic information, I will hate you.

Expect me to be impressed about your lightweight agent, CISO dashboard or the founder’s time in Unit 8200.

Suggestions for the Analyst

Explain how your firm works — if briefings rarely result in coverage, let them know ASAP, because that’s typically not the norm (or so I’ve been told). What interactions are paid vs free? How are meetings scheduled?

Manage expectations before the call — what are you looking to get out of it? That will impact who the vendor needs to schedule for the call, what materials need to be prepped or how long the call needs to be.

Stop the presenter if they’re going into stuff that isn’t a good use of your time. Redirect the conversation down a more productive path.

Stop the presenter if you don’t understand something. Don’t just nod and let them continue. Don’t be afraid of feeling dumb. When I started as an analyst, I had never heard “north-south” or “east-west” used to refer to network traffic flow before. Just a few months ago, I found the definition for “east-west” was contentious when I thought it was more straight-forward.

What is your product and what does it do? was originally published in Savage Security Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The post What is your product and what does it do? appeared first on Security Boulevard.

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computersystemsdesign · 7 years

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New Coder: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING!

You may be wondering why, after creating four blog posts encouraging non-coders to give it a shot, select a language and break down a problem into manageable pieces, I would now say to stop. The answer is simple, really: not everything is worth automating (unless, perhaps, you are operating at a similar scale to somebody Amazon).

The 80-20 Rule

Here's my guideline: figure out what tasks take up the majority (i.e. 80%) of your time in a given time period (in a typical week perhaps). Those are the tasks where making the time investment to develop an automated solution is most likely to see a payback. The other 20% are usually much worse candidates for automation where the cost of automating it likely outweighs the time savings.

As a side note, the tasks that take up the time may not necessarily be related to a specific work request type. For example, I may spend 40% of my week processing firewall requests, and another 20% processing routing requests, and another 20% troubleshooting connectivity issues. In all of these activities, I spend time identifying what device, firewall zone, or VRF various IP addresses are in, so that I can write the correct firewall rule, or add routing in the right places, or track next-hops in a traceroute where DNS is missing. In this case, I would gain the most immediate benefits if I could automate IP address research.

I don't want to be misunderstood; there is value in creating process and automation around how a firewall request comes into the queue, for example, but the value overall is lower than for a tool that can tell me lots of information about an IP address.

That Seems Obvious

You'd think that it was intuitive that we would do the right thing, but sometimes things don't go according to plan:

Feeping Creatures!

Once you write a helpful tool or an automation, somebody will come back and say, Ah, what if I need to know X information too? I need that once a month when I do the Y report. As a helpful person, it's tempting to immediately try and adapt the code to cover every conceivable corner case and usage example, but having been down that path, I counsel against doing so. It typically makes the code unmanageably complex due to all the conditions being evaluated and worse, it goes firmly against the 80-20 rule above. Feeping Creatures is a Spoonerism referring to Creeping Features, i.e. an always expanded feature list for a product.

A Desire to Automate Everything

There's a great story in What Do You Care What Other People Think (Richard Feynman) that talks about Mr. Frankel, who had developed a system using a suite of IBM machines to run the calculations for the atomic bomb that was being developed at Los Alamos.

"Well, Mr. Frankel, who started this program, began to suffer from the computer disease that anybody who works with computers now knows about. [...] Frankel wasn't paying any attention; he wasn't supervising anybody. [...] (H)e was sitting in a room figuring out how to make one tabulator automatically print arctangent X, and then it would start and it would print columns and then bitsi, bitsi, bitsi, and calculate the arc-tangent automatically by integrating as it went along and make a whole table in one operation.

Absolutely useless. We had tables of arc-tangents. But if you've ever worked with computers, you understand the disease -- the delight in being able to see how much you can do. But he got the disease for the first time, the poor fellow who invented the thing."

It's exciting to automate things or to take a task that previously took minutes, and turn it into a task that takes seconds. It's amazing to watch the 80% shrink down and down and see productivity go up. It's addictive. And so, inevitably, once one task is automated, we begin looking for the next task we can feel good about, or we start thinking of ways we could make what we already did even better. Sometimes the coder is the source of creeping features.

It's very easy to lose touch with the larger picture and stay focused on tasks that will generate measurable gains. I've fallen foul of this myself in the past, and have been delighted, for example, with a script I spent four days writing, which pulled apart log entries from a firewall and ran all kinds of analyses on it, allowing you to slice the data any which way and generate statistics. Truly amazing! The problem is, I didn't have a use for most of the stats I was able to produce, and actually I could have fairly easily worked out the most useful ones in Excel in about 30 minutes. I got caught up in being able to do something, rather than actually needing to do it.

And So...

Solve A Real Problem

Despite my cautions above, I maintain that the best way to learn to code is to find a real problem that you want to solve and try to write code to do it. Okay, there are some cautions to add here, not the least of which is to run tests and confirm the output. More than once, I've written code that seemed great when I ran it on a couple of lines of test data, but then when I ran it on thousands of lines of actual data, I discovered oddities in the input data, or in the loop that processes all the data reusing variables carelessly or similar. Just like I tell my kids with their math homework, sanity check the output. If a script claims that a 10Gbps link was running at 30Gbps, maybe there's a problem with how that figure is being calculated.

Don't Be Afraid to Start Small

Writing a Hello World! script may feel like one of the most pointless activities you may ever undertake, but for a total beginner, it means something was achieved and, if nothing else, you learned how to output text to the screen. The phrase, "Don't try to boil the ocean," speaks to this concept quite nicely, too.

Be Safe!

If your ultimate aim is to automate production device configurations or orchestrate various APIs to dance to your will, that's great, but don't start off by testing your scripts in production. Use device VMs where possible to develop interactions with different pieces of software. I also recommend starting by working with read commands before jumping right in to the potentially destructive stuff. After all, after writing a change to a device, it's important to know how to verify that the change was successful. Developing those skills first will prove useful later on.

Learn how to test for, detect, and safely handle errors that arise along the way, particularly the responses from the devices you are trying to control. Sanitize your inputs! If your script expects an IPv4 address as an input, validate that what you were given is actually a valid IPv4 address. Add your own business rules to that validation if required (e.g. a script might only work with 10.x.x.x addresses, and all other IPs require human input). The phrase Garbage in, garbage out, is all too true when humans provide the garbage.

Scale Out Carefully

To paraphrase a common saying, automation allows you to make mistakes on hundreds of devices much faster that you could possibly do it by hand. Start small with a proof of concept, and demonstrate that the code is solid. Once there's confidence that the code is reliable, it's more likely to be accepted for use on a wider scale. That leads neatly into the last point:

Good Luck Convincing People

It seems to me that everybody loves scripting and automation right up to the point where it needs to be allowed to run autonomously. Think of it like the Google autonomous car: for sure, the engineering team was pretty confident that the code was fairly solid, but they wouldn't let that car out on the highway without human supervision. And so it is with automation; when the results of some kind of process automation can be reviewed by a human before deployment, that appears to be an acceptable risk from a management team's perspective. Now suggest that the human intervention is no longer required, and that the software can be trusted, and see what response you get.

A coder I respect quite a bit used to talk about blast radius, or what's the impact of a change beyond the box on which the change is taking place? Or what's the potential impact of this change as a whole? We do this all the time when evaluating change risk categories (is it low, medium, or high?) by considering what happens if a change goes wrong. Scripts are no different. A change that adds an SNMP string to every device in the network, for example, is probably fairly harmless. A change that creates a new SSH access-list, on the other hand, could end up locking everybody out of every device if it is implemented incorrectly. What impact would that have on device management and operations?

However...

I really recommend giving programming a shot. It isn't necessary to be a hotshot coder to have success (trust me, I am not a hotshot coder), but having an understanding of coding will, I believe, will positively impact other areas of your work. Sometimes a programming mindset can reveal ways to approach problems that didn't show themselves before. And while you're learning to code, if you don't already know how to work in a UNIX (Linux, BSD, MacOS, etc.) shell, that would be a great stretch goal to add to your list!

I hope that this mini-series of posts has been useful. If you do decide to start coding, I would love to hear back from you on how you got on, what challenges you faced and, ultimately, if you were able to code something (no matter how small) that helped you with your job!

The post New Coder: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING! appeared first on Computer Systems Design.

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