#and its not for any lack of wanting to

[traumagenica]

people claim to understand that progress isn't linear and recovery can take a long time until it becomes personally inconvenient to them and then you're just a stupid lazy bastard to them no matter how you behaved before you became outwardly sick or how hard you've been trying to get better. and i will be mad about that forever

#text post #vent #venting #vent post #chronic illness #mental illness #progress is not linear #recovery takes time #ive only been diagnosed and trying treatments for my autoimmune disease for 1yr #ive been sick for closer to 5 #i just got covid for the second time in january and its fucked up all the progress #that i was making #and now rather than try to support me through a major setback #everyone is acting like i just dont have my shut together and im not trying #meanwhile i am doing my best to keep up when walking a single flight of stairs is still hard for me #and there are very few people who meaningfully recognize how hard this is for me #i used to work three jobs while going to school full time seeing my family frequently #AND having a social life and maintaining my ltr #now im married yeah but i only do one wfm full time job barely engage with my hobbies #see my family and friends infrequently and tbh barely leave my house #and its not for any lack of wanting to #its because i CANT #and even fewer people are making am efforts to accommodate me #so i force myself to occasionally go out and see people #and then need to recover for two weeks #and they dont even appreciate how HARD it is #so much of the effort disabled put into their interactions with abled or just differently #disabled loved ones goes completely unnoticed because its expected as the bare minimum another can do #but rhe bare minimum to them is the absolute best you yourself can give #and nobody cares

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

#myposts #kendrick lamar #drake #i updated it from 'white europeans' to 'people' because some people pointed out that 'gringo' is probably more south american lingo #but the point i wanted to make is like. there is this subset of european people (quite a lot of them) #who try to deflect by saying them not knowing these things isn't because of an active lack of disinterest in black culture and influences #and like. them not knowing who a certain black person is is never an educational failing on their side of any sorts #but instead are pretending that like. they are by virtue of being european always correctly educated on What History And Art Is Important #like. 2 months back that one post pretending that 'us europeans dont need to know all your AMERICAN writers 🙄' talking about james baldwin? #like just because that person didnt know who james baldwin was #they immediately were mad at the implication that They Didn't Know Someone Of Cultural Significance #and twisted it into 'well he cant be that important by virtue of me not knowing him' #like completely ignoring that the european school system also has. race problems and also ignoring that he lived and wrote in France too #but like. its this really racist defence mechanism of like. 'well you stupid americans always make everything about yourselves' #i hope i make sense i didnt think this would blow up lol #and like some people in the notes of that post were so smug about not knowing who Kendrick Lamar is #bc to them thats like 'oh im too cultured to be listening to rap of any sorts' like completely dismissing his music as kind of second class #by virtue of it being rap and black music and him not being in the White Mainstream as much as other musicians #(i mean hes still like 24th most listened artist worldwide but you get what i mean)

[ganondoodle]

totk made me feel like i got scammed so badly i dont think i want to get any new zelda on release and instead wait until i know its worth it

im afraid zelda will turn into half baked games with flashy imagery to distract you from its shitty writing and superficial references to older games to catch your nostalgia, that the name alone will sell anyway so why try

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #might have said that before #kinda like pokemon #where you can feel the potential stare in your face but its not being used #and new games being pushed out for the sake of new game #i wonder if totk turned out like this bc they have been focusing on the movie thing #bc its easier money? #and the mario film was so popular #i know totk started develeopment earlier ... probably #but something getting messed up can happen any time #guess i have been too annoying on twitter about it #despite not nearly talking about it as much as here #people going -you just expected too much lol- #shut up!! i wanted a sequel and its not #its not even a good zelda imo #i dont have to be some mindless hater to criticze things that are obviously lacking #also i made the mistake of not censoring -scammed- and immediately got swarmed by bots on twitter lmao

[teddyedwards]

Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag! / All rock and roll is homosexual

Manic Street Preachers and My Chemical Romance on defying gender and sexuality norms

nicky wire photographed by mick hudson / gerard way at Riotfest / mama by mcr / born a girl by msp / richey edwards / gerard way by kenneth capello / frank iero / james dean bradfield / a version of reason by rob jovanovic / interview with gerard way / frank iero's pansy guitar / richey edwards fairy t-shirt

#shh i know they are very different bands but they four guys from working class towns who used books and movies and creativity to escape #who were downright bored with the lack of glamour on the scene and explored gender and sexuality #who had an insane belief in their art and never shunned the idea of being a huge band #i had sooo many parallels i want to make a part two lmao #also tried to include as many sources as possible but its hard with older stuff and this has a target audience of like .. one person #mcr #my chemical romance #manic street preachers #msp #f slur #ps if anyone has any tips on how people actually find photographer credits hmu like my google skills are not what i thought

[rox-of-iu]

no thought only MQF in brain* (*even more than usual yeah.....)

ok lads listen up. i love allllll Mu Qingfang designs ok? all the interpretations are cool and valid and dear ok BUT. whenever I personally try to draw MQF without a 'stache he just looks to me like a first-year med student ok hjdfhkfd

but anyway. when i was scrolling around and being completely normal about MQF i saw a lot of ppl say stuff like 'this is my 'mqf is actually pretty' agenda' and its alwaysss about peeled mqf SO I HAVE A POINT TO PROVE OK. mqf with a moustache can be also a prettyboy ok?? i can prove it 😭😭

so here are my qingfangs where i turned up the babygirl vibes to absolute max as i could hsdfjkhdskfh 💜

#mu qingfang #svsss #listen.......actually nevermind hfdjkhfk #im having. thoughts #hsjkdhkf #maybe ill also make a text post some time later because i cannot shut up im having lack of fics issues hjdfhfk #so anyway 🥰 hjkfh silly litol weary doctor amirite- #also some may have noticed that i have finally used the correct peak seniority for MQF aha well #(through gritted teeth) i have finally come to terms with the fact he is 8th its fine its whatever i like 8 anyway #it fits anyway of course the doctor peak is underappreciated smh smh smh smh #also btw if youve ever been influenced by my mqf design i have to let you know each and every time that happens i gain 5 billion years hjfd #<333333333 #it makes me soooooooo giddy that ppl like him enough that i change their perception of him lmao jdfhkd #nothing gives me more power points than when the moustache propaganda claims another victim FR HAGHJKFD #so yeah 🥰🥰 #wait also gotta mention that im not like bashing any other designs i want to make that super clear #i suck at tones i dont want this to get misinterpreted #all mqf good mqf 💕💕

[starry-bi-sky]

How i envisioned Danny's ghost form/Phantom in my Danyal Al Ghul au (images at bottom of post). His ghost form has some pr heavy influence from the League, because I thought it'd be neat + to kinda show how even after four years, the League still had some kind of impact on who is he as a person. Plus some milder Robin influence in his boots and the cape (which i meant to be split down the middle to have some kind of 'bird wing' silhouette) as a way to indicate his lingering desire to meet his dad.

The pauldron lookin-thing on his upper chest is based off certain Danny Phantom designs I see that give him that white,,, marking,,, thing. I've been calling it the Jedi Chestplate because it reminds me of the clone wars Jedi armor. So like, slight homage to his hazmat suit.

(not pictured: his thermos and his sword)

behold! the judgmental lil shit (affectionate) himself

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dpxdc art #mediocre starry art #dpdc #danyal al ghul au #danny fenton is not the ghost king #older brother danny #i thought about giving him a mask but felt it would make him look too busy #i originally made his scar larger but then i remembered he got that scar when he was five. and thus the scar would have shrunk over time #prolly could've been smaller but. oh well :) #the lack of fenton influence isn't intentional i promise its just that i couldn't combine all three things at once without risk of making #the outfit look overly busy LMAO. ignore his hands they're my weakpoint #'judgmental lil shit' quote goes to the-navistar-carol for being the first thing she said when i showed her the fanart #fun fact the tail of the lightning bolt going behind the P is supposed to be a mockup of the tail of the Robin “R” which is another subtle #indicator of Danny's desire to be part of his father's life and not having it. he's never gonna be robin and he knows it but that doesnt #mean some part of him doesnt still want to. ugh the pants look awful but i dont want to spend any more time than i already have fixing them #because. drawing on mobile suckkkkksssss. starry draw danny with short hair challenge: task denied

[astronomodome]

Feeling conflicted about the cyberpunk thingy impulse is going for because like yeah it’s a great theme and I like the aesthetics a lot but what I really like most about cyberpunk is the themes of corporate alienation and/or transhumanism etc etc which I know will not be addressed at all and in fact it’s kind of stupid of me to expect that at all from a minecraft series. Does anyone else get that or just me

#this is an issue I’ve been having with mcyt content in general you know. not ragging on impulse specifically #it’s just… I find it difficult to reconcile the quality of narrative focused mcyt content with its complete lack of commentary #should it have commentary? I believe it could if it wanted to. I don’t think it has to #but then you see these genres being… skinned and worn as cloaks #taking the aesthetics and story without any of the meaning behind it #and when it was just Minecraft builds that was expected. I guess it is still expected and I’m being a huge snob #but like. mcyt narrative is so fucked from a quality standpoint. you can’t even have villains who are other mcyters because people #will get mad at them #is that an unrelated issue? maybe. but I don’t think so #idk. mcyters aren’t expected to be storytellers and they don’t need to be #but I see these things happen over and over again and it’s just uncanny to see something that walks like a story talks like a story #but at the same time has absolutely nothing of value to say #it’s very early on so maybe there will be something done with this concept but I doubbbt it. I would be very pleasantly surprised #astro speaks #hermitcraft #not putting this in the impulse tag cause he would be more likely to see it #and I don’t want him to feel like he has to address this at all #it’s more just me noticing a trend

[moeblob]

I'm on an OC kick and also super indecisive so I spun a wheel (thank you for choosing for me, RNG).

Ricardo is a body guard and is bffs with Marlo. Ricardo's current job is watching after a celebrity's daughter who the public doesn't know even exists. She's just a teenage girl vibing with her mom and getting texts and calls from her dad (who loves her a whole lot and keeps her out of the spotlight very purposefully) and has this bodyguard and his weird friend. Marlo is just vibing with his best friend.

(Also Marlo would absolutely laugh if he heard Ricardo say "someone called me eye candy and it wasn't you and now I think you should call me that")

#my characters #i have an ask in my inbox that has me obsessively thinking about drawing fanart #but i just dont have the energy for what i want to draw for it #its been a rough day guys im dying (allergies and lacking sleep) #(why are allergies so bad today i ask after shoving my face into a cat while knowing im allergic to cats) #there are some prices i will always suffer and pay in life and the cat allergy is one of them you cant keep me away from a cat #im shoving my face in their fur and you CANT STOP ME FROM IT and also they kept bothering me #anyway i got to bed at like 6am after a lot of zoomies and restless legs and then #woke up with both cats in the guest bed with me and man i will not know peace for a few days #worth it tho bc i love them and i will take suffering if it means cattention #i dont really have much to say about the ocs tbh theyre just buddies being guys and then theres a teenage girl sometimes #and people suspect ricardo is her dad and she cant really say no my dads (celebrity) since thats the entire point of rico #so she makes sure its not troublesome for him to have people assume things like that and hes just #idc im in love with my best friend and hes not giving me any kids so not like anyone will start drama if im not with your mom #but he is also ! friends with the celebrity and his wife so he does just go on Family Outings with the wife and daughter #and sometimes marlo because the wife knows of him and invites him sometimes but she treats #rico and marlo like sons instead which is a bit weird to the daughter but she likes her weird fake brothers slash dad and question mark #marlo dyes his hair pink if that matters and has been doing so for a v long time

[paradoxolotl]

I am very sad and could use some happy if anyone has a drop to spare

#I know I’m not like ‘around’ anymore #but if you had a moment for me I would very much appreciate it #I’m in the stage of creation where I can see my skill level is lacking from where I want it to be #and the words in my brain are not translating properly onto the page #unfortunately this year has done its best to turn me into dust #and then beat me down some more #so I have not been able to tear at it until it snaps and flows again #which has been cool #losing my form of escapism and all #anyways #it doesn’t matter #tell me a joke #pet pics #a silly story #your favourite thing you saw today #the world is beautiful and wide and more than any of us #I’ve just been caught in grey wash

[iratusmus]

fiona fox is the love + light of my life . also no i am not taking any criticism on her questionable tshirt collection i can and will defend all of my choices.

also bonus artist commentary in the alt text

#sonic #archie sonic #fiona fox #scourge the hedgehog #iratusmus.png #fionourge #<- i have NO idea if this is the ship name or not but tbh im mostly just tagging this for blocking purposes #since i know some people dont like it and personally i always find it rude when people dont tag their ships #namely because i dislike. a lot of ships 💖 #REGARDLESS before any of you recognize something on one of them and get offended because you think fiona wouldnt like it . #just know i understand her better than you do <- JOKE but also i do actually have justifications for all of these #and if you ask i will be happy to enlighten #or you can just read the alt text. but if its too long and bugs out i will be absolutely copypaste it #also yes the haircut is directly taken from bell-mere one piece #anyways this world needs more fiona appreciation. unfortunately for me there is very little #but yada yada yada be the change you want to see in the world #i also need to work on the incredible lack of fionourge content in this world but we'll get there at some point or another #well. content aimed at me specifically. i have lots of opinions on this relationship and i dislike many people's takes on it #but thats a discussion for another time. maybe

[waterberry-strawmelon]

just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify #but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/ #popular media. #I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction. #But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists #because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance #and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual. #Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic. #Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic. #(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.) #anyways. #the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum #is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation. #because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or #‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance. #I’m angry and I’m allowed to be. #I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something #But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together. #I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation #Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively #Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT. #But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon #OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all. #fhjy #fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #riz gukgak #aromantic riz gukgak #fhsy

[y-vna]

Ty for 400!

It may be 1:30am, but honestly, I just felt like I wanted to write this. Thank you for 400 followers!! That's crazy. I'm super thankful, and honestly, it means a lot to me! <3 super excited for more to come, I hope my moodboards rn are up to standards!

I'm not tagging anyone this time since I don't want to disturb everyone every time I write one of these. Just know all my mooties and idols r amazing, and I love them. You guys know who you are, ily 💕

Just a boring text post for this milestone post cuz I can't be bothered rn ahh

Teeny Itty bitty vent in tags since I can't get my life tghtr rn erm! Don't feel pressured to read it, idrc ig?? 😭😭

#lil vent i will most def regret in the morning #im not quitting just tired ig? social media and my lack of motivation r just dragging me thru the mud brutally and thats why im slow postin #i literally cannot handle seeing pepple from discord that despise me from when i used to gossip and a bunch of stuff on there #im gonna prob delete the song req stuff in my inbox. im so done w it. js like the event prizes #i want to still provide the full prizes #but its so much work and im unmotivated so ill do it eventually :( #i dont rlly think ill makr an event anyrime soon cuz it kind sucks aaahh #my moots nd friends on here the only reason i havent quit bc im burnt out by myself i only live off the interactions i have on here #i dont know what else to say i just wanna like forget any accounts on anywhere from me every existed cuz im not a good decision maker at al #i'll be normal in the morning probably hahaaha #tysm for the support anyway

[commander-gloryforge]

any fellow lesbians ever feeling weirdly isolated and alienated from their friends/mutuals because you just simply cannot share the same excitement and attraction for men. and you feel like, even though this is probably not the case, you feel like everything is always about men and the attraction to men and the desire for men. and you try to understand and be apart of the fun and all but at some point you're just kinda like. "okay we clearly are not the same and this isnt working out"

idk ive had this for a while but lately its like. wow i really am just missing out on so many conversations and interactions and friendships because of this 1 simple difference between me and many of my friends

#this also goes to aces/aros/anyone that lacks attraction to men #and!!! nothing but love to my bi/gay mutuals i love you dearly and i want you to be able to live out your attraction #especially considering that we just went through a “ew imagine liking men” phase on the internet I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND FREE #but its just like. an experience ive been having in like. any fandom for that matter #thoughts thoughts. idk idk idk #dios wisdom

[oifaaa]

The fact that we allow phone companies to get away with just straight up not including an essential bit of hardware needed to make the phone work and now has to be brought separately is completely atrocious

#If you can't tell #I'm pissed #Brought a new phone today #Bc my old one was dying within 2 hours of use #My first new phone since 2019 #And found out its not just apple any more that said fuck you you don't get a charging plug #But now samsung are doing it too?? #Bitch I hate it here #That combined with the lack of earphone port #I hate tech companies #My last phone was a hauwei #I wanted to get a new one of those #Only to find out they're now not allowed to be sold in the UK #Why???? #Bc they actually gave you a plug #I I hate it #At least my phone was relatively cheap #Can't imagine buying one of those 700+ phones #And not even getting a charger #I think I'd cry #Anyway #Vent #Kill me

[timeisacephalopod]

The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#winters ramblings #seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have #to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God?? #what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power?? #these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want #perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no #if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao #not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion #have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians #wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole #which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist #doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because #believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop #so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know #temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy #like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems?? #youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian #of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem #its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad #because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem #because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people #and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their #religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what #morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about #it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right #can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts #who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand #maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!

[luvring]

every day i wish creators didn't have to ask for more than silent interaction on here

#💬nia.rambles #yeah its a writer ranting about this again get over it #i dont want to be like Please For The Love Of God Say Something To Your Writers/Artists! #i dont want to have to guilt and pressure people who may be nervous or not into saying something #but also i dont enjoy that i feel like i have to get used to this growing silence and lack of. anything #a silence which mind u has been growing Since i got on tumblr and somehow hasnt gotten better in any way #if u reply or reblog w comments pls know i read them and i love and appreciate u 🫂 #when i have time i will msg u and give u a little thank u hug Pleak wait 4 me < nervous and awkward. #2 my fellow creators. i love u i hope ur enjoying the process and happy with what u make and get messages every day from now on!! 🫂 #i will keep rbing and commenting and i hope u can trust my thoughts represent more people than just me bc they do! #even and Especially when it might not feel that way