#and then being like ''well i'm autistic and i'm not rude Like That so clearly it's just who they are and not because they're autistic''

[yardsards]

everyone on here loves laios for his autism swag but if half of yinz met someone like him in real life you'd be like "i don't know,,, he makes me uncomfy. something about him just gives me bad vibes, you know? :/" (and the "bad vibes" you'd be picking up on are just. signs of autism)

#eliot posts #dunme #dungeon meshi #laios touden #it's an annoyingly common phenomenon i've had to witness of autistic people being shitty to other autistic people who are slightly more- #-socially impaired than they are #and then being like ''well i'm autistic and i'm not rude Like That so clearly it's just who they are and not because they're autistic'' #as if autism isn't a SPECTRUM #anyway that post that was like #''laios isn't a cute stim toys blogger autistic he's the autistic guy in the discord who accidentally makes people uncomfortable'' #was CORRECT in their assessment of laios #but had phrased it in a way that sounded like they were against Weird Discord Guy instead of on his side #anyway like yeah i'm not gonna force you to LIKE someone who keeps accidentally like. talking over you or asking uncomfortable questions #all i ask is people have more PATIENCE and understand that it's not maliciousness

[hello-nichya-here]

I know you ship Barney and Robin (I do too), but don't you think Ted has the right to be uncomfortable with the fact that one his best friends slept with his ex (that he clearly still has feelings for) when it hasn't even been that long since they broke up?

As usual, let's break this down by parts.

Ted being uncomfortable with the situation

That one would be totally valid. The fact that his ex is in his friend group could have already led to plenty of drama, and if she starts getting involved with yet another person from the same friend group, things will just get more messy. There's a reason why when they became friends, Lily full on said to both of them "If you sleep with Robin, you have to marry her" because if the relationship doesn't end, then there's no drama.

However, Ted is not uncomfortable. He is ANGRY. Like, downright furious. He stops being friends with Barney, and it takes the dude nearly dying after getting hit by bus that he didn't see in his hurry to see Ted at the hospital and make sure he was okay. THAT is how pissed off he was - and as I'll explain in great detail bellow, he has exactly ZERO right to be.

Barney is one of Ted's best friends

Is he? Is he though? Because I remember Ted saying shit like "I have no idea why I hung out with Barney" just because the guy suggested that they *gasp* went to a different place than the bar they usually went to. Seriously, I'm autistic and hate change, but the way Ted will act like Barney is personally wronging him and being super selfish when he finds legitimatelly cool things for them to do together makes him sound the most boring, ungrateful person EVER.

And let's not forget the constant "Marshall is my best friend, not you." Like, I get that is closer to Marshall than to Barney, but Jesus, he was always SO mean to the guy for no reason. He could have at least said something like "Hey, Marshall is my best friend too" or "Come on, man, just cause Marshall is my best friend doesn't mean you're not important to me." But no, it was always in a rude way that fit way too well with "urgh, why am I even friends with Barney?" Again, it took the guy nearly fucking dying for Ted to say they were not just friends, they were brothers.

To me THE proof that Ted is in the wrong in this whole conflict is that he never cared about any of Barney's shenanigans - yet the series uses the ONE time Barney broke the bro code as justification for Ted ending their friendship. They try to excuse it with "Oh, but Ted never broke the code", but let's face it, the man never even read the freaking code.

He was ALWAYS disregarding Barney, acting like they were barely even friends and like he was just an annoying dude he couldn't get rid of. And then as soon as the guy slips up and is feeling super guilty over it even though he shouldn't, SUDDENLY they're the best of friends and "How could you do this to me?"

He still has feelings for Robin, and their break up wasn't that long ago

If I'm remembering it right, it has been nearly a whole year since their break up. And even then, they've done the whole "post break up tension" thing. Sulking, being jealous (though that one was mostly Ted), hooking up only to realize they really are better off as friends, and finally Ted has gone back to his default state of meeting a new potential "The One", and just a few episodes later he propose to Stella, his girlfriend - because yeah, he has a girlfriend. One he claims to be pretty serious about. One he all but claimed he fell in love with at first sight.

One could EASILY assume he was over Robin by that point - hell, I did the first time I watched the show. And Ted's supposed "feelings" for her are not nearly as cute as the show likes to pretend they were.

Ted's obsession with Robin

This man legit saw her from across the room, and was about to say "Hey dude, see that girl over there? I'm gonna marry her" before Barney, the much more sane of the two, interrupted him with a "You know she likes it dirty" (God bless Barney for figuring that woman out in two damn seconds). He said both "I'm in love with you" and "I love you" on the first damn date. He decided she was the love of his life without knowing a single thing about her, and just never admited that he was wrong, even after they broke up over wanting completely different things in life.

But let's not forget HOW they got together in the first place. Robin turns him down after the "I love you even though I just met you fiasco", so he makes up not one, not two, but three parties just so he can "invite her over as a friend." This goes wrong, obviously, and Robin turns him down again because she just wants something casual. Later, when she changed her mind but he is already with someone, Ted lies to her about having broken up with his girlfriend so they can sleep together. When Robin finds out about it, he blames it on "Nothing good happens after 2 am" and never apologizes for lying to her, yet the show makes her forgive him for it anyways.

He then tries to go after her AGAIN, and when she tells him to slow down and, ya know, actually date before they do the whole "Romantic vacation where we promise to spend the rest of our lives together", he says that she's "too scared of anything real" because apparently no romance is real unless the people involved are ready to get married immediately. He then tries, rather pathetically, to make it rain so she won't go on a trip with a guy that is into her, and once it does rain they finally get together. The show claims that's romantic, but I'm once siding with the actual sane man of this story, Barney: This is funny. And it's still funny. And it's still funny... aaaand now is just sad.

Ted is not in love, he obsessed. That's why he is mad that Barney and Robin slept together - and why he is only mad at Barney, but not at her. He thinks Robin is his. He thought so both before and after their relationship, and he doesn't like it when anyone shatters this illusion. And the show validating that, making both Barney and Robin almost/full on "confessing" what they did even though by this point I'm wondering WHY either of them still puts up with Ted, just makes this look worse in my eyes.

Everytime I think of this plot, I think: Fuck off, Ted! You're just mad Robin didn't have to pretend that knee-rubbing was a super hot part of sex, or cover his face to pretend she was fucking someone else like she did with you! (I am not even kidding, this legit happened - good for Robin for finally getting a guy that knows what he's doing and that she's actually attracted to)

The "Barney is a bad person" excuse

The show REALLY wanted us to side with Ted on this one, didn't they? Well, too bad, because they gave us plenty of reason not to.

Barney has done some awful shit, but I do NOT buy that this was just the last straw for Ted instead of a result of him being possessive over a woman that could not be less interested in him.

Ted is very quick to talk shit about Barney when he does something awful. He is even faster however, to either join him on the fun at the expense of others, or even leaving Barney out-matched.

This is Ted Mosby we're talking about, people. The guy who didn't know the difference between getting to know a woman and stalking her. The guy that thinks harrassing a girl until she agrees to date you is romantic. The guy who said to Victoria that they should try long distance dating, only to start ghosting her, and then nearly sleep with someone else the first time she isn't able to return his calls - and again, the girl he almost slept with thought he was single because he lied to her face.

The guy who taught his children "That's how you turn a no into a yes." The bastard that broke up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, went after her years later, convinced her to take him back, and then a month later dumped her on her birthday a second time. The creepy dude that was waiting to make his move the second a girl he deemed "perfect" and "the one who got away" was single again - going as far as to have her neighbours spying on her for him. The guy who thought the perfect way to fix the issue of his bride not wanting his ex at their wedding because "exes around makes old feelings ressurface" was to bring her ex along, and could not fucking understand that this will just make her even more uncomfortable.

The dude who tried (and sometimes succeeded) in trying to win over women that were married/about to be married not once, not twice, but FIVE FUCKING TIMES! And in two of these times, the innocent groom/husband thought of him as a friend, only to be stabbed in the back so horribly.

THIS Ted Mosby is throwing a fit because Barney slept with his ex one time and felt super guilty. This asshole thinks he has the moral highground here. The dude that would have the nerve to say "Robin shouldn't be with Barney, she should be with me" and even declare his undying love for her on the morning of her wedding to Barney even after he has given their relationship his blessing and claimed to be over her about 50 times. If Barney had done this, show would have treated him like the fucking antichrist.

And let's not forget Ted EXPLICIT justification as to why this "terrible" action was the final straw: because this one affected him personally instead of happening to a stranger. I am not even kidding, he full on said that. Dude, if you legit think this guy is an awful person, and you have zero problem with it as long he is nice to you, you DESERVE to have him screw you over (just like he deserved to have Stella leave him at the alter after he was stupid enough to think inviting her ex to their wedding was just the perfect idea).

Conclusion

We are supposed to side with Ted, even though he is worse than Barney, a hypocrite, would not do more than give him a slap on the wrist if he had slept with someone else's ex, AND what Barney did wasn't even that serious. Even though he is a creepy stalker that cannot wrap his head around the fact that Robin is not his property, and is taking this whole thing as Barney "stealing what's his." Even though he will do WAY worse to his supposed friend years later, without a shred of remorse, still be talked about as the good guy, AND the show will screw Barney and Robin (and the Mother) over just so he can get what he wants in the end.

Sorry, but it's not gonna happen. This is not the rare "Ted has a point" moment, like when he called Lily a bitch. This is another case of him being entitled, possessive, and hypocritical - and yet more reason for me to look at that goddamn finale and think "I can't wait until Robin inevitably has an affair with Barney and then marries him again so Ted finally faces some much deserved karma"

#asks #anti ted mosby #fuck ted mosby #anti ted x robin #swarkles #robin deserved better #barney deserved better

[eos0anemone]

Analysis: Genshin Impact Autistic characters - KOKOMI

This is going to be a section in my blog talking about which Genshin characters I think fit very well inside the autism spectrum. If we know Hoyoverse's record, we know that they're not autism friendly (*cof cof* cure for autism in Tears of Themis *cof cof*) but well, neurotypical people accidentally writing neurodivergent characters happens a lot, and at the end of day, it is free to our own interpretation how we see them.

I want to open this section with my favourite Genshin character: Sangonomiya Kokomi. I relate to her a lot (partially the reason why I'm convinced she's autistic) but keep reading if you want to know specifically why I think she is.

INTRODUCTION

Kokomi is a 5 star character, Hydro catalyst from Inazuma. Lorewise, she is Watatsumi's Divine Priestess; in other words, the leader of Watatsumi Island, a small town that relies a lot on fishing and agriculture to subsist.

In terms of 'waifu-uwu', Kokomi is your average overworked waifu who shows a shy demeanor, steady leadership but delicate presence. Is very feminine presenting, has a quirky military side and shows a soft spot for traveller, probably because she falls in love with him too (and yeah, I talk specifically about Aether because we know who thinks this way). A lot of western people, especially men, also reduce her to this stereotype common in Genshin Impact women.

However, we can take some more steps and see in depth everything that Kokomi has to offer.

HYPERFIXATIONS

One of the aforementioned cliches is actually true: Kokomi is an overworked woman, but not in the same way as Ganyu or Keqing, for example. While they overwork themselves because they seem to enjoy being occupated or feeling useful, Kokomi's job is a responsability that she actually doesn't wan't: just by reading her voice-overs (More About Sangonomiya Kokomi: IV), we discover that what she really wanted to do was study military strategy and become an adviser.

And this is one of the most interesting points about Kokomi: she loves military strategy. While some people reduce it to a quirky trait, I think it can be clearly interpreted as an autistic hyperfixation. Not only Kokomi is presented to us as a girl who is an expert on this field (Archon quest was so horribly written that it doesn't do her justice, but canonically she is very smart and a strategy master), but she also tells us on voice-overs that she loves military books the most (Chat: Reading), and wanted it to be her full-time job.

The least we can say is that it is her passion, one that fuels her motivation so much, just like how autism or writing fuels mine to the point of wanting to work on that field and enjoying it on my spare time or when I'm regulating myself.

BURNOUT AND MASKING

In relation to the last point, there's another reason as to why Kokomi preferred to be a military advisor rather than the island leader: social interaction.

As stated in both voice-overs and her quest, social interaction exhausts Kokomi to the point she 'gets negative'. She also tells us (Sangonomiya Kokomi's Troubles) that she's not good at communicating with others, and that putting on her Divine Priestess airs helps her with it. Kokomi is a clear case of a women who does masking in order to survive socialization with other people, and in this case, her being a figure of authority well-respected and loved by her people helps her a lot with the interactions she's forced to endure day by day. I see myself on this, because I too feel more at ease interacting with other people if I have a title that gives me clues about how others will be talking to me (being the class rep, an administrator...) but it still exhausts you, and usually it is even more tiring because you have to keep up to extra expectations. The 'getting negative' references being so burn out that you can't keep masking anymore, making you seem gloomy/uninterested/rude/clueless.

In Kokomi's quest Dracaena Somnolenta, we learn that when Kokomi is too tired of social interaction, she hides for a while on a cave where she sleeps and reads books in solitude. That is decompression. All autistic people need it to regulate their bodies and mind.

For Kokomi, this decompression time is very important, but also a secret she has. Social interactions represent a sensory overload for her, and we can see it on her dialogues during Dracaena Somnolenta, especially when we go find her to the cave:

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Oh... you noticed? I guess I haven't quite mastered the ability to hide how I'm feeling. I'll keep working at it... (masking)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: To be honest, I'm not really cut out to be a leader. At first, my dream was to read up on military strategy and perhaps become an adviser. (another hint to her hyperfixation)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Constantly communicating with people, trying to retain their morale, having to read between the lines, making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve... It's such hard work. (more masking, she has to force herself to do all these things because it doesn't naturally come to her)

(...)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I come here to just lose myself in a book and relax for a while... (decompression)

Kokomi also explains that she uses spoon theory to regulate her energy. Spoon theory is a method created by Miserandino and it is used to ration our energy during the day. So yeah, Kokomi literally uses for herself a method that is directed to disabled people; whether it is autistic individuals, people with chronic illneses and pain, etc.

In her case, she writes it on her diary, adding or substracting points according to the tasks she has done and the events that happened to her. Traveller, whether it be Aether or Lumine, seem to be an individual that Kokomi trusts and feels comfortable with; so much that their presence doesn't disregulate her, but actually does the opposite. I don't like to think of it as a romantic thing, but rather as a platonic neurodivergent bond that they both share with each other.

A cute detail is that she also speaks loudly about those energy points with people she trusts, like Traveller and Paimon. I think it's beautiful when neurodivergent people feel free to explain out loud the 'weird' things they do after enduring so much masking.

SENSORY REGULATION

Although I already touched the most important points as to why I think Kokomi is autistic, there are some others I want to emphasize, being one of them sensory regulation and disregulation.

Kokomi is clearly disregulated by social interaction, and uses reading books, resting alone and militar strategy as a decompression mechanism. She also enjoys diving, and as she says, it fills her heart with peace even if the world underseas isn't bright and sunny like the dry land. Water can be very pleasant for some autistic people due to the stimuli and the temperature (I, for example, love swimming but hate being wet and wrinkled afterwards), and I like to think that, when Kokomi is at her limit, she goes diving to calm her mind (this is a headcanon lol, unless I missed something on lore).

Kokomi also dislikes seafood (fish, crustaceans...) and it's funny because I also hate seafood due to it's texture and flavour. Her favourite food, Bird Egg Sushi, is described by her as both 'simple' and 'simple to prepare'. Now I could be analyzing too deeply, but autism and sensory problems with food usually go hand in hand, making us prefer the simplest food possible and avoiding dishes with too much things on them, strong flavours or unpredictable textures... So yeah, Kokomi also fits this.

JUSTICE AND MORALS

Kokomi is leader of Watatsumi Island and goes against the Vision Hunt Decree that Raiden Shogun imposes on Inazuma. As she states on her voice-over (About Raiden Shogun) she doesn't feel rightfully to categorize or criticize Raiden Shogun's actions as good or bad. However, as she fights against it for the welfare of her people, we can assure that she does fight back against things she considers an injustice, even if it burns her out; just because that's what is right.

She also shows a great worry about all her people. If it's raining, she thinks about the fishermans who may not be able to return. The soldiers that died under her charge are in her mind even when she has agreed to not talk about them out loud. That should ideally be the average prototype of a leader, but just by watching Raiden Shogun we can agree that it is, in fact, not it. Seeing Kokomi, a woman who dislikes social interaction and burns herself to fulfill her duty, being at the same time so empathetic, considerate and kind to her people is something I see in a lot of neurodivergent people. The urge to please and help others the best you can do, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process; not healthy at all, but so pure at the same time.

Kokomi also says something interesting on one of her voice-overs (Chat: Fish) which is that 'respect must be given to the will of every creature'. It is no mistery that she loves sea creatures so much, and I also think that the reason she dislikes seafood is because of this same thought about respecting all lives in nature. Not a very important point, but worth to mention.

I think I covered all the points I wanted to talk about, but if I forgot about anything, I'll update the analysis and add it.

There are a lot of characters I want to talk about apart from Kokomi (Albedo, Alhaitham, Sucrose, Freminet, Fischl, Noelle, Chongyun, Shenhe...) but I will take it slow to bring them all here. Autism spectrum is so colorful and endless that each character has significant but different traits, and I'll cover them up little by little.

This is the end of the post, I will return tomorrow with more things to say.

But here's a little cute Kokomi ❤️

#kokomi #sangonomiya kokomi #genshin impact #genshin #eos #eos autism #autism #autism spectrum #neurodiversity #character analysis #autistic women #analysis of autistic genshin impact characters #asd #neurodivergent #burnout #sensory overload #eos video games

[rizzulusarcturizz]

hi hi hi!!! ... need your thoughts on regulus today... and you seem so cool... <3 <3 <3 <3

hi bella!!! you seem extremely cool too and i'm always happy to talk about my favorite boy!!!

i am and always will be a trans reggie truther; walburga and orion wish they could think of a name as cunty as regulus arcturus. the first time he cut his hair short he told sirius he wanted to look just like him <3 sirius didn't realize at the time it was because regulus is trans but he was absolutely the first know and accept him. even when their relationship was at their worst he never misgendered or deadnamed him and would beat the shit out of transphobes

the sorting hat wanted to put regulus in hufflepuff because of his loyalty, hard-working nature, and dedication but regulus begged to be put in slytherin. after seeing what sirius went through for being placed in gryffindor he was terrified of what his parents would do if neither of their children were placed in slytherin.

he became seeker during his second year and was extremely nervous to be on a team of mostly older students. dorcas pretty much immediately became his friend so he could have someone on the team. once she got to know regulus and how snarky and funny he was they became very close friends. they're the only quidditch players in their friend group and are VERY intense about it.

autistic regulus!!! making friends can be difficult for him because he really struggles with social cues. he also has a tendency to avoid eye contact and genuinely doesn't enjoy general small talk. people tend to think it's because he's rude because of it and even when he gets older it's hard for him to mimic allistic social norms. the wizarding world doesn't really consider autism a thing and even sirius just describes his brother as being shy and standoffish but well-intentioned. remus clocks him as autistic after knowing him for like ten hours lmao

close friends with miss lily evans herself!!! they both relate over their parents preferring their older sibling and feeling like their older sibling is embarrassed by them. younger lily doesn't get along with the gryffindor girlies well because of her friendship with snape and disdain towards the marauders leaving her getting snubbed. regulus being straight to the point with her and not getting easily offended is a much needed change in the people she spends time with. regulus is also an extremely empathetic person and doesn't get easily overwhelmed by lily's loud anger and bitter frustration

eventually lily does mouth off to sirius and reveal that regulus worries he's a burden and embarrassment to sirius which leads to an extremely emotional conversation. sirius loves regulus exactly as he is and wants to protect him from their parents but he's not embarrassed by him at all. he just worries that the things that make regulus who he is, being trans and autistic, might put him in their parents line of fire

his very first relationship is with barty ofc and they experience most of their firsts together! eventually they decide they're better off as friends and have a very amicable split. barty ends up dating evan but remains super protective of regulus. evan isn't threatened at all and feels equally protective because they know how bad reg's home life is. they might not be able to protect him from walburga and orion but they can definitely beat the shit out of snape for calling regulus a freak!!!

obviously he's endgame with james!!! regulus has a crush on him first year but sirius and his friends are assholes to the slytherins so it gets less intense. the first time james hears regulus infodump on thestrals he thinks regulus is the smartest and most passionate person he's ever met. regulus also really sees through the "perfect son, student, and friend" mask james' puts on and encourages him to not prioitize making everyone else happy all the time over his own happiness and well-being. james isn't used to people seeing him so clearly and it's both intimidating and awe-inspiring.

remus and regulus both have wands of cypress and unicorn hair!!! they definitely crushed on each other at some point during their time at hogwarts and i'll accept no criticism on this take

regulus is only like 5'6 and skinny but he has a bit of an intimidating aura that makes him seem bigger!!! he's not one to start a fight by any means but he's got a quiet confidence about him. he knows he's extremely intelligent and skilled so why bother being modest about it?

#regulus black #asks #trans regulus

[lostfracturess]

Hi I apologize in advance for the rant you’re about to read 😬

Okay, so I’ve been going on endless rants about angst and how writers tend to fall back on the same tropes and how exhausting it is for readers, and I almost didn’t read the most recent chapter of symptoms and causes because you’d said how angsty it was going to be.

That being said, the reason I’m sending this is because you’ve done what so many people fail to do: write angst that didn’t leave me feeling hopeless and empty at the end. The promise of an eventual happy ending definitely helps, but the anguish you write for these characters just fits the situation so well. And you’ve written it so that a happy ending actually feels possible. The mentality, how broken and terrified they both are. The trauma Gojo clearly has and the love the fact that she loves him anyway. The fact that she withdrew and gave them both space but he can’t stay away, and she loves him too much to send him away. You’ve made them worth rooting for. You’ve made him a character that can be redeemed and given readers a desire to see him redeemed because in everything, his choices that end up being selfish are literally driven by his desire to protect others from himself. Self-destructive mental illness, man.

I think what makes your writing compelling, at least to me, is that you seem to understand when enough is enough. You didn’t reach the point of no return and dive headfirst off that cliff, you stopped just short of that point and gave enough hope that things will come back around. I just want to see them happy, man. Gojo feels so deeply that he doesn’t deserve happiness or love but he does. Even with how broken he is, he deserves to find the strength to fix himself. And that feels like what you’re setting up. It feels like you’re setting up the “I will learn to fix myself because this person is worth living for” instead of the idea of “this person is the one who saved me.” IMO the latter is one that feeds the toxic issues because it’s based codependency and being unable to function without the other. I love the idea of her standing beside him while he learns to love himself, not carrying him to it. (I’ll stop here because I could go on forever about that)

Just. Hi, I’m Kiko (aka @siriuslysatorusimping). I rant a lot and I love writing that dives into the psychology behind things. The way you’ve captured what an internal spiral can look like, the panic, it’s all just 😭

(Also, hi, I’m Kiko. I’m autistic and adhd af and I tend to over explain and over justify because I always want to make sure I’m not coming across as rude when I’m trying to give genuine compliments so I hope this reads as praise and not me being a bitch 🙃)

hey kiko, no apologies needed at all, i really love your analyses actually !! never thought about it too much how angst can become too overwhelming for readers, because my tolerance for angst is like sky high so i'm even more glad that i didn't ? overdo it.

but the anguish you write for these characters just fits the situation so well.

so glad that the drama they go through feels (partly) real for readers. that's really my biggest concern, that their motives and actions don't feel natural?

The fact that she withdrew and gave them both space but he can’t stay away, and she loves him too much to send him away. You’ve made them worth rooting for.

ahhh so glad you noticed that !! she was really ready to fight it all but then instead noticed how he is struggling and if she would push him more (what she would have loved to do) it really would have just gone the other opposite way.

but when he's at her door, she still lets him in and takes care of him, because even if she resents him, she still cares so deeply. that's also why she asked him if he had nightmares. because she still cares.

his choices that end up being selfish are literally driven by his desire to protect others from himself.

yes 100 percent !!

I love the idea of her standing beside him while he learns to love himself, not carrying him to it.

yes yes yes !! i totally wanted to write a female lead who will not hold his hand and sweet-talk to him about his addiction because apparently he's really shitty deep into it. she will mirror him the hard truth about his issues without second thought even if it hurts.

because otherwise he would just keep up his avoidant behaviors. but that's also what scares the hell out of him, because he's not used to, firstly face his fears at all and secondly to have it so clearly mirrored back at him, at least not in this intensity.

guess in his past his previous partners and friends just tiptoed around the issue but not her. she's like, okay we have this issue here, how we solve it, because i want you and i want you to stay alive apparently.

but after he rejected her again after she literally confessed her love to him it really was too much for her. even the strongest female leads have limits so that hurt her awfully. (okay lol no i went on with my babbling, i'll stop here 😂).

The way you’ve captured what an internal spiral can look like, the panic, it’s all just

also so so happy you picked up on the nuances of the mental health struggles i'm trying to depict. that kind of internal spiraling, the way anxiety and self-loathing can warp a person's perception.

i love messy emotions and diving deeper into how they affect literally everything that we do, even without us knowing !!

thank you so so much for taking your precious time to share your thoughts, i really appreciate it and love talking about the psychology behind the story !! have a good day ♡

and no worries, your message absolutely reads as sincere praise, not at all rude !!

#inbox #symptoms and causes

[rainbowsky]

Ok I am the turtle who asked about the breakup cpn, with the kadien and things. I have been told that is rude and hurtful and im sorry Mr Rbs, I do not want to cause you stress. I follow cuz I am autistic and I like that you are too but autistics still rub each others fur the wrong way sometimes just like anybody so im sorry if I did that. Have a great day and stay healthy and may YiZhan stay happily married and one day get to safely come out if they want!

...

I don't even know what to say to this.

Who told you that it was 'rude' and 'hurtful'? It certainly wasn't me. I don't have a problem with people asking me honest questions that are in good faith. I answer all kinds of asks, regardless of my reaction to them.

I'm sure whoever said that to you meant well, but I don't want anyone putting words in my mouth. Whatever they said to you, that was their own perspective.

As for your ask, it actually did annoy me a bit, but not because there was anything rude or hurtful about it. I was annoyed because it contained things that are long-standing sources of annoyance for me (which isn't your fault).

First of all, you said "I know you don't believe kadian" which - honestly I've heard people say this before and I find it frustrating. I literally have a whole post that is prominently placed on my masterlist post, where I state pretty clearly that kadian is real. So when people say things like this it feels like they aren't paying any attention and are just making assumptions about me, or else they have poor reading comprehension.

I'm going to be really clear about this:

Being skeptical is not the same thing as being dismissive.

I am skeptical about a lot of candy and CPN, but that doesn't mean I don't buy candy and CPN. It just means that the candy and CPN I do buy is stuff I genuinely believe in - not because it's cute or makes me feel good (nothing wrong with that, but it's not what gets me excited), but rather because I've evaluated it and I feel (based on my own criteria) that it's well substantiated and real.

Contrary to another popular myth about me that also frustrates me (the ridiculous idea that I don't buy CPN and candy) - a huge percentage of my blog is devoted to CPN and candy, and in fact I think CPN and candy are pretty critical to turtledom.

I say this all the time and I hope it will sink in: it's never wise to paint with too broad a brush. Nuance, people. Not everything is black and white. Most things are grey. Just because I seem like a doubter on a lot of things, doesn't mean I don't have my own CPN, and doesn't mean I don't hold a lot of candy close to my heart, much of which I think is important and unwashable.

It seems like some people see a personality trait in someone and then try to extrapolate it across everything about them. Not only is it inaccurate, frankly it betrays a certain level of intellectual laziness. "Oh, here's the funny guy, everything's a joke to him." "Oh, here's the serious guy, he has no sense of humor." "Oh, here's the cutesy girl, she won't like this scary movie."

People are complex and often contradictory creatures. We shouldn't assume we have a read on someone just because we've picked up on a few of their character traits.

As for kadian - in my post about kadian I went to some pains to show that kadian is real, so I don't get why there's anyone out there who would think I don't 'believe' in it. In reality I think people who don't 'believe' in kadian as a concept are uninformed and out of touch. 'Not believing' in kadian would be like 'not believing' in slang acronyms like LOL and OMG.

Back to that 'broad brush' thing I just said - just because kadian is real, that doesn't mean a particular perceived kadian is real and intentionally placed. These things have to be examined in context in order to be properly evaluated.

You can refer back to my kadian post for all that.

On to the other, bigger reason your ask frustrated me.

Just Say No To The Turtle Binary

Your ask was about a 'kadian' you thought you saw in DD's post about being sick, and you felt it was evidence of a breakup.

Without realizing it, you stepped into something that bugs me about the fandom.

If you've been following me for any amount of time at all, you will know that one of my absolute pet peeves in this fandom is when turtles take everything GG and DD say or do as being deeply significant to their relationship. As I've said before -

👉🏻 almost nothing from or about GG or DD will actually be a candy. 👈🏻

I think the key to respecting and honoring their humanity is to love them as individuals first and foremost, and as a couple second. When we fixate entirely on their relationship we end up accidentally dehumanizing them and failing to recognize, respect and celebrate their individual achievements.

There are a lot of turtles in this fandom who take every single thing GG and DD do as either proof they are together, or else proof they are not together. And frankly, that doesn't make any rational sense.

If you've ever been in a long term relationship - or a relationship of any kind, whether family or friends - you should already know that almost nothing in our daily lives is about that relationship. Our day-to-day lives tend to revolve around work, school, hobbies and interests, other social interests and obligations. Almost nothing we do in our day to day lives is about any one particular relationship.

Just look at my own blog here. How often do I mention my partner? Almost never. But we've been married for years, and he's the most important person in my life. Why don't I mention him more? Because my life doesn't revolve around him.

GG and DD are no different. They are real, non-fictional human beings with busy lives and successful careers, and they have a ton of obligations and focuses and pursuits in their daily lives. Almost none of it is about each other. Why, then, would people be so ready to think that every post, every gesture, every clothing option, every decision, every goal is about each other?

Not only is that absurd just on the face of it, it's also absurd when you consider that the vast majority of things that ARE related to their relationship will never be made public for you and I to see.

Their lives are almost entirely focused on their careers. They work hard, they have packed schedules. They no doubt spend a lot of time connected to each other behind the scenes, via texts, video chat, etc. but most of their time will be taken up with their work, and with meetings and discussions with various handlers and brands and management and other career-related contacts.

It's going to be rare for us to catch a glimpse of something related to each other, because such things are going to be rare in their daily lives and in most cases shared privately.

So I am deeply dismayed when DD can't even call in sick without people assuming a break-up. It's not right. My god, let the man be sick for a day.

When it comes to kadian we need to remember that the context is actually more important than the numbers. What is the likelihood that any particular message is about something to do with their relationship? What is the likelihood that something important is going to be discussed or disclosed in that particular venue or format? What is the likelihood that GG and DD are going to send out key messages about their personal and private relationship in the timing of a Head and Shoulders ad?

DD is in the middle of promoting his new film, which - at the time - was just days away from being released. Can you honestly believe for one hot second that he's going to pick that time - of all the times in the world - to dicker around with cryptic, deeply consequential messages about his relationship? Consider his priorities, here. Consider the context and venue.

And have some empathy for the sick guy who was just trying to quell rumors that were flying about him.

When we evaluate anything they are saying or doing, we should be kind and empathetic about it, and on their side.

There were a lot of anti messages going around when he called in sick that day. People had all sorts of nasty theories about why he called in sick, including a theory that he was trying to generate sympathy to boost ticket sales.

Imagine that. Imagine if calling in sick to work made that big of an impact on your life and reputation? NO PRESSURE.

Like, woah. No wonder the guy never takes any time off anymore. No wonder he pushes through when he's got a sprained ankle or is practically falling over from exhaustion. The man can't take a day off without all hell breaking loose.

I expect that kind of thing from antis, but not from turtles. It's very disappointing.

A final note:

Another important thing I want people to fully understand and accept:

My failure to answer an ask is no commentary whatsoever on what I thought about that ask or about that person.

Anyone who has been following me for any amount of time at all should know that. I answer as many asks that annoy me as I do ones that make me laugh, smile or reflect.

In reality, if I don't answer your ask it's 99.9% of the time for one of these reasons:

I don't have time - I've been incredibly busy lately and have had very little time on Tumblr. Most of that time is spent scrambling to keep up with the content GG and DD and turtles have been releasing/discussing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this is pretty much always the reason I haven't answered an ask.

It's something I have already thoroughly covered, which can be found easily by doing even the barest search of my blog or browsing through my masterlist post. Given how little time I have for Tumblr, I'm not likely to spend much of it repeating myself.

It's a complicated question that will take a lot of time to answer, so the question ended up in my drafts folder as I pick away at it over weeks and months. My drafts folder is almost as backlogged as my inbox.

IT WAS NOT A QUESTION. I get quite a few of these. I've said this many times - my inbox is for questions.

Of course, anti BS, hate asks, etc. don't see the light of day, either, but that goes without saying.

If you've asked a question in good faith and it's not been answered, it's for one of the top 3 reasons on the list.

So, Anon, I found your ask frustrating, but I didn't find it 'rude' or 'hurtful'. And even though I found it frustrating, I didn't hold it against you because I know that approach is common among turtles. It's just a fairly standard part of the fandom that - while frustrating - I've more or less accepted as 'the way things are'.

So, no hard feelings. You didn't do anything wrong AFAIAC. I think you might want to do a bit more critical thinking than seems evident based on what you sent me, but you weren't rude or hurtful.

And to be clear, Anon: most of what I'm saying in this post isn't aimed at you. Like I said, I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about a couple of things, and you were unfortunate enough to accidentally stumble across it. I definitely don't hold anything against you.

#fandom reflections #bxg perspectives #kadian #ask

[solarsleepless]

hello all

welcome back the kristy thomas autism analysis, where i'm rewatching the show and writing down her autistic traits as i see em (as well as noting any neurodiverse traits in the other girls). here's part one if you haven't seen it.

this ep is not narrated by kristy, so she is not the 'main character' in this episode, which basically means there's going to be a LOT shorter than before

without further ado, let's jump right in!

Episode 2

"did he ask you to the dance or not?!" autistic people often don't pick up on things when they're indirectly stated, and much prefer a direct way of speaking because we tend to not pick up on the double meaning, which is clearly showcased with how much value kristy gives on the exact phrasing here

"subtlety is not among her many talents" more examples of kristy's bluntness—she doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything she's saying, she's just stating what's true

kristy is extremely and visibly confused by the notion that him saying he'd "see her there" is him asking her out. again, more emphasis on how she needs directness

oh also good time to note: comfort clothes!!! autistic people tend to gravitate towards clothes that feel nice. from this point onwards we see kristy wearing a lot of hats, which can feel good pressure-wise or even texture-wise.

oh also also, kristy is pretty queercoded!!! research right now indicates that autistic people are much more likely to identify under the lgbtqia(+) umbrella

something i didn't have enough space to note last time is that kristy generally wears much more comfortable clothes than the rest of the bsc. not that they actively wear uncomfortable clothes, but she's the only one who really dresses plain, with sweatpants, jeans, and soft shirts.

stimming: fidgeting slightly with the twizzlers :)

even More issues with bluntness: she doesn't understand how rude it is to say that her friend's dad is crazy and so forth because of his being obssessive over aforementioned friend.

not much to say on her response to mary anne's "and what would you know about having a normal dad?!" (ouch, mary anne), it's perfectly understandable. the way she just ups and runs without saying anything can be read as autistic.

additional notes

as this episode is claudia centric, we get a much bigger view into what she's like at school and whatnot. almost straight away, she tells us that above everything, she's good at art—which isn't in and of itself a sign, but with everything else, it can be! people with adhd can like art for a variety of reasons: the ability to just sit back and focus your mind on just one thing you want to create, the fact that you can create as well is important, the textures you can use and feel, the way you just sort of disconnect your mind from everything else. she remarks that she also likes it because there's no homework or tests, things adhders are notoriously bad at keeping track of due to their executive dysfunction.

this episode showcases most of all how she struggles with school. especially if claudia is dyslexic/dyscalculiac as she's slightly implied to be, pair that with adhd, and she's not living the vida loca.

as well as showing the same traits listed in part 1, janine also mentions she has noise-canceling headphones, which are common party of autistic culture as sound generally affects us the most. adhd and autism are also often hereditary, so if janine is autistic, it's likely that claudia is similarly nd.

claudia is shown to not understand how the math works, even when stacey explains in depth. she asks "and how do you do that?" and dyscalculia impairs how easy is it to understand mathematics, even if they're regarded as "simple" to others. there's also a pretty high comorbidity rate between dyscalculia and adhd with 11% having dyscalculia. generally, it's common to see adhd paired with another learning disorder, with 45% of ppl with adhd also having a learning disorder

stimming: tapping her hands on the table and swaying her leg

mary anne sits cross-legged in her chair: autistic people tend to have a heightened proprioceptive sensory input, which is basically why we sit funky, and why it is physically uncomfortable to sit "normally", with both feet on the ground.

anxiety is very common in autism, which both mary anne and especially her dad display. her dad's very autistic coded as well, but we can get into that in later episodes.

#autistic kristy comp #kristy thomas #the babysitters club #claudia kishi #mary anne spier #janine kishi

[lilflowerpot]

i just saw your reply saying you wrote keith with your experience with autism in mind without realizing it! i just want to say that i love how personal this fic is for you, whether you intended it or not! like, looking back and realizing you connect even more with your character (bc you’ve developed keith so well he’s practically yours) is so cool!! and the autistic-coded-ness fits with the character so well, it fits with his foundations from the show and also the world you’ve built

anyways yeah just came to say i love that for you, as a huge fan of your work!

anonymous(2): Hello!! I recently read your little blade fanfic and I'm about to re read it as well, I love it sm! I saw that another person had said they related to Keith in relation to their autism and I'm so happy they did because I do as well!! I love seeing representation like that even if it's unintentional lol, and I was wondering if you had any autistic headcanons for Keith and or Lotor and if being galra effects that? If not that's totally chill! I hope you have an awesome day or night!

-

Thank you both! I'm honestly so happy to see so much love for autistic-coded Keith, he deserves it ♡

I don't explicitly have any autistic headcanons for either Keith or Lotor, because (as anon 1 said) it wasn't entirely intentional on my part. When writing Keith, I knew from the start that I wanted to explore his galra side and how that element of himself impacts his experiences, and obviously because he looks human this was always going to manifest in his instincts/behaviour; what with the galra being aliens, I wanted them to feel more nuanced than simply "tall purple humans" which lead to me playing around with the differences in how they might express themselves and the ways in which this might have caused Keith difficulties in the past.

Autism itself manifests in different ways to different degrees in different people, but broadly speaking it's a variation in how the brain works as opposed to the majority. According to the NHS, the key traits include:

difficulty communicating with / understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, unintentionally coming across as blunt / rude / uninterested, and misreading tone / intent in others

struggling with anxiety in unfamiliar situations / social settings, often preferring a set routine with clearly defined "rules", and difficulty making friends (and/or preferring solitude)

heightened pattern recognition, attention to detail, and senses

over-stimulation from things neurotypicals might consider mundane, such as bright lights / loud noises / strong smells / eye contact / physical proximity and/or touch

self-stimulating behaviours (stimming) often repetitive movements / sounds that can serve a variety of purposes

a keen or intense interest in a particular subject area / activity

These, obviously, are only the very broadest of strokes (and I comped together many of the bullet points for brevity's sake) but as you can see a lot of them are applicable to Keith—not only in LB, but in VLD too! As such, I don't think it's especially surprising that in dissecting his character so as to better understand and therefore write for him, I ended up creating a lot of overlap between autism and the galra, with the latter becoming a metaphor for how the former sees people (like Keith!) being "othered". With regard to Lotor, it's actually quite interesting because his galra/autistic traits are considered "normal" in Imperial society, whereas it's everything altean about him that has been met with reproach.

#in summary: being galra doesn't effect keith's autism because I essentially wrote being galra as a metaphor //for// autism #if that makes sense #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #galra history & culture #keith kogane #prince lotor

[thebestofoneshots]

hi i hope you doing good. Can i have a "✩ Star" for Marauders Era please 💐I'm autistic. I'm genderfluid, bisexual with male preference.I'm okay with Poly!Marauders. I have long black wavy hair. I have thick black eyebrows, brown eyes. I always have rosy chubby cheeks. I have braces. My body is curvy with very big chest and little tummy. Also I'm 172 cm. I'm Libra also a Slytherin. If you interested, my mbti Infp and my enneagram 5w4. I always have poker face. I'm very outspoken. I find it difficult to express my feelings and prefer to isolate myself. My best feature is that I know a little about everything, I always surprise people. Those who know me for the first time describe me as cold, scary, quiet, and distant. And they often think I can't speak and I'm deaf but I'm not. People say I'm extremely chaste. When I enter an environment, I listen to what people say and get to know them well, I decide if there is anyone worth talking to. I'm only close to two or three people. They describe me as cold, soft inside, calm, sarcastic, resourceful and knowledgeable. I am usually a rebellious person. I am the person who stands against injustices and lies in an environment. They say I make clever jokes and I'm the mom-friend. Actually i like to help everyone and it works automatically without me noticing. I will help anyone by giving my all. And i hate phsyical touch. My love language is words of affirmation. If I talk about myself, I've always been on my own. I have family problems, I was never close with my father. Even though we are side by side with my mother, we are distant. I'm just my own mom and dad. That's why I've always focused on academic achievement for salvation. And I think I'm very good at it. My hobbies are drawing, sewing, writing and researching, especially about mythology, cultures, politics, history, fashion. I like to visit second-hand and antique markets. I'm someone who doesn't like to waste money but cares about clothing. I always wear my headphones and listen to music, i listen every genre. I like silence, soft colors, being alone, flowers (especially honeysuckle), spring and breeze. I don't like crowds, noise, children, loud talkers and shiny things. I always wear colorful clothes with floral prints or all black. I also wear interesting earrings and different printed socks. And finally, I don't really have an ideal type. I love every person. I like the fact that there are different people. And I don't believe in love. If I'm going to be with someone, I'll be happy if we have respect, compassion, and loyalty to each other. It is enough that we are in harmony with each other. If I am with someone, I am clearly their mother. -🧠

If you want to participate in "TBOS' 400 Followers Celebration" too, you can look at this post for all the options of prompts you can choose form &lt;3

☆ Star: send a short description of yourself and I’ll tell you who I ship you with!

Hey darling! I soooo ship you with Regulus Black. When you two first met, he didn’t know what to make of you, the shy new Slytherin kid. The shyest in your group, he noticed that easily. But there was something about you that sucked him in. Even if whenever your eyes crossed in the common room you would just stare at him for a second and then turn your head, not even making a single expression, nothing.

He was the first to approach you, but he didn’t try to talk to you, in fact, he just walked closer to you as he spoke to Barty, he had realized you liked to listen to what people might have to offer before exchanging a word with them. Barty had tried to talk to you several times before, but you hadn’t replied, so he thought of you as a very rude person. But that day, when Regulus asked if you could pass him something, and you replied with a sweet “sure, here you go,” he was shocked.

“So you can talk?” Barty teased.

“Leave them alone,” Regulus had warned him, with an icy stare, bordering on a threat. Barty had shut up in an instant and he never dared bother you again.

Your friendship with Regulus had developed slowly, you appreciated how he always noticed whether you were presenting as a girl or a boy, and used the correct pronouns with you. It was sweet, and it made you trust him even more. He once invited you to Hogsmeade, and the two of you walked together through the crowded areas, shying away from them and deciding to walk inside an antique store instead. There he purchased a necklace that had caught your eye. You found it laying on your bed, inside a box with a note inside.

There’s something about you that I just can’t put my finger on, there’s nothing like spending time with you, talking about anything and everything like we do sometimes… I enjoy walking with you and looking at you while you’re so focused on getting the strokes of a drawing right, when you’re too preoccupied with getting the seam of a garment to look perfect, or even when you’re just staring at the fire like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Thank you for being a part of my life (Y/N). -RAB

You smiled, a little giddy after reading such sweet words, and you knew they were true, you had seen the way Regulus looked at you, you weren’t blind, but you had also noticed how respectful he’d been about his admiration, how he’d retracted his hand after reaching out for you several times, as not to startle you, He had watched you, learned your boundaries, and he stuck to them like they were the most important rules on earth.

“I loved your note,” you told him when you saw him again after that. “I also really like spending time with you, It’d be lovely to do it more…” you told him, a little smile developing on your lips.

A/N: Hey hun! I really hope you enjoy this little ship, I read your little prompts and it absolutely screamed Regulus to me, btw I hope I didn't write anything triggering, I tried to be extra carful <3

Side note, I'm so so so sorry for taking so long to deliver this, it's been like a week I know, but I've been working on Gilded Constellations and also a new episode of The Five Senses (that will be dropping later today), bedsides my day job getting a bit heavy on the workload, so it's taking me a bit longer than I expected to deliver the "400 Follower Celebration" gifts. But rest assured, they will all be delivered, I promise.

Much Love, Lilly xx

#imagine #one shot #oneshot #jily x you #poly!marauders imagine #poly marauders #poly!marauders x you #ploy!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders fluff #wizarding world #the marauders x y/n #the marauders x you #the marauders x reader #the marauders era #the marauders fandom #the marauders fanfiction #regulus black #regulus x reader #regulus x y/n #regulus x you #regulus blurb #regulus one shot #regulus imagine #marauders era #dead gay wizards #the marauders #the maraunders map #400 follower celebration #regulus deserved better

[tellywoodtrash]

hiiiii tt!! hope ur doing well <333

i wanted some advice from you, if that's okay. i started college this year and the experience has been ... nothing like i imagined lol. basically, i've been lonely my entire life. i'm also autistic and i think thats part of why its so hard for me to make friends. i really thought college would change that, idk why. its not like i bought into the ultimate karan johar college fantasy or anything like that, i just thought it would be...better than my school life, at least. for the first month, it kind of was. i was talking to lot of people and even getting along with them, at least i thought i did. but then one by one everyone just, like, stopped talking to me??? i don't get it.

like, one of the first friend groups i made in college, almost all of them decided to join a college society together, while i decided not to because i wasn't really interested in that particular club. then they all but forgot about me, once they joined that society. they made new friends over there and of course, all of them were still friends among themselves, but it was like i didn't even exist anymore. maybe i shouldn't take it so personally but i genuinely made an effort to keep that friendship alive and literally got nothing in return from their side.

then i made friends with some other girls in my course and all three of them literally got boyfriends at the exact same time and they started ignoring me too. at this point i feel i am the problem. because the reason all of these people (who i have only known for a few months, at best) abandoning me hurts so much is because this is how i've been treated my entire life. and now i feel like i will never escape it. if i somehow haven't been able to form a genuine bond with ANYONE for my entire 18 years of existence on this earth, clearly something is very wrong with me. i have no friends (never had them in the first place) and i don't even get along with my family. i am so completely alone and i just do not know how to cope with that.

i'm tired of being ghosted by everyone i consider a friend and then only being remembered when they need something. they are only my friend when it's convenient for them. college was supposed to be a fresh start but it just proved that every new "start" of mine will have the same old ending. i hate to let my pessimism get the best of me but i have no hope left in me. i have always felt like i had so much love to give, but no one to give it to. now, however, i don't see the point in trying. i am scared to even try to talk to people at this point, i feel like i will just fuck it up like i always do.

this is way too long already and idek why i'm writing all this but thank you for reading ig. i hope ur doing better than i am 💗

Hi hi friend,

First of alll, come here youuuuu.

Secondly, it's not really you. It's just the age and inherent nature of most 18 year olds; they tend to be a little flaky and unreliable. Couple that with college being the first real taste of freedom desi kids get, and yeah...... This shit tends to happen. You're right in that you shouldn't take it personally. Sometimes people just don't vibe with each other and that's okay. Sometimes people are rude and uncommunicative, and again, that's on them, not you. You shouldn't let this stuff get you down or lose hope in ever finding your tribe. It takes time. Sometimes they're right in front of you and you don't really consider them your "kind" of person, until one random conversation/situation you're thrown into with them proves to you that they indeed are! All I am saying is that you have your whoooooooole life ahead of you, and you're going to meet soooooo many people through it, and you WILL meet someone or the other whose weird will match yours. Whether that be irl or online.

Your line of having so much love to give but no one to give it to really resonated with me, coz I've felt that way so many times in my life too. But there is someone who needs it - YOU. Give yourself that love and consideration. Use this time to build a strong sense of self and have an unshakable bond with yourself. Do the things you love and pamper + better yourself in every way that you feel like. Alone does not have to mean lonely, not at all. There's literally so much you can do by yourself, like take classes, volunteer, etc, that will be such an enriching experience to who you are as a person. In time, whenever your people do show up, they'll be a fun bonus. You won't NEED them, but they'll just be a wholesome addition to your grounded little life that centers all around yourself.

Sending you lots of love 🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖

#big sister tt gives life advice #tt answers

[celestialsun123]

Okay, tumblr is my ‘safe space’ other than my room, so I’m going to talk and anyone who wants to can listen. Aka all the stuff I’m gonna say will take up a lot of room so take a look under the ‘keep reading’ if you care enough to lol

There are a couple of JIC trigger warnings: mentions of church/religious settings (not talked about in a negative way), doctors, uhh there’s a time where I talk about someone yelling at me?

without further ado, here's my vent for the day.

I stress out so much over liking anything posted by autistic people. I’m so sorry, I have literally nothing against you, I just freak out for no reason cause once I heard someone on YouTube say ‘if you aren’t autistic your opinion is completely invalid here’ and I’ve taken it to heart 🥲

I will go to like a post but then go ‘wait… that explicitly says it’s about autistic people/autism… I can’t! I don’t count!’ (And I am so salty about stuff like that cause I’ve thought to myself ‘well what if I’m agreeing about something that they approve of?’ But it still isn’t enough to justify it to myself.) (again, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST Y'ALL)

I was considering asking my doctor if I should get evaluated for stuff but I also really don’t want to because what if they just say ‘nope, you’re normal. Why’d you even bother?’ And I KNOW I’m not neurotypical because I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and there is no WAY it’s normal to feel like your entire day has been completely and utterly ruined by someone not telling you clearly that if you didn’t go eat the leftovers of your family that you wanted, it’d be passed on to the others.

Oops, that’s not where that was meant to go, but I’m keeping it.

My original point BEING, I have a feeling I don’t JUST have GAD, I wanna get evaluated for Autism and ADHD, but the imposter syndrome (can I even use that here? I’m not autistic so does that mean it’s… rejection or something?) is too much and I’m gonna wimp out of bringing it up to the doctors. I’m fairly certain I have ADHD tho, cause everything I’ve watched I’ve basically agreed with. (And yeah, the internet isn’t good source material, but there are some good people on there.)

Also I'm so worried that I'm just copying people. Like, I didn't used to stim until AFTER I learned about autism and ADHD, so what's to say that I'm not just copy pasting? And that's not genuine and it's probably also rude.

Oh and on the topic of being too sensitive for my own good, let’s talk about how I deal with people scolding me. (Other than my parents.)

I genuine want to cry any time it happens. I had some pretty bad experiences of that kind of thing (maybe like 3-4 years ago?) and they happen to be some of the only clear memories I have of pandemic times cause everything kinda blurs together from that time. The clearest one and the one that affected (is that the right one?) me the most was when some of the neighborhood kids got in trouble for hurting each other from a tree in my sibling’s best friend’s yard. I was a witness, but I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to the situation. The sibling’s best friend’s mom asked me to tell my version of the story, so I did. I tried my best not to twist anything and to make it clear that I wasn’t sure about anything. Without me noticing (cause my back was turned) one of the kids mom’s (the one who had done the potential hurting) came up behind us and started yelling at me for ‘lying for no reason’ and ‘being rude’ and how ‘her kid would never do anything wrong, so if I wanted to go tell lies for fun she would go and tell my parents.’ Y’know, the kind of thing you tell semi-kids.

So from then on, I tend to have to choke back tears when not my parents scold me.

Another time (this week actually) was when I was scolded for acting my age at church. Now, I’m not a CHILD, so I see where the person was coming from. But I was also having fun with my friends. We were joking around, and one of the old people came up and scolded us. I thought I was fine till I got home and then realized that stimming in any way, even in my room, now felt childish and horrible and like I shouldn’t be doing it. (I’ve gotten over this, I’m back to normal. Ish.)

So yeah. I guess I take things too seriously? And it REALLY frustrates me. Like I can’t just let things go, can I? No, cause that’d be EASY.

Also, don’t you just hate it when you feel the urge to stim (hand flapping specifically in this case) but your muscles/wrist is in pain for no explicable reason?

#personal vent #people can be so harsh #but then again maybe I’m being too sensitive #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #well… maybe I’m not sensitive maybe I’m just anxious

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for autistic people on making phone calls

Uuuugh I don't think I need to labour the point too much about the particular hell that is making phone calls. From difficulties with audio processing, the lack of body language, the frustration of being put on hold, the anxiety, the procrastination...

Anyway, over the years I have discovered a few things that can make it a bit more bearable to get shit done and win at adulting. Bear in mind this post is made from the point of view of an autistic person who is able (with reluctance) to speak and manage their own affairs independently, but that isn't necessarily the case for everyone.

Double check it's actually worth your time calling - more and more these days, companies offer alternative ways of getting in contact, such as through chat messaging, social media or email. In fact, some prefer you contact them this way as they can sift through and process them much faster than a traditional phone call. However be careful, as they're also much easier for them to ignore, and for some issues you may have to call, anyway. (Bonus tip: if you've been dealing with an ongoing issue with a company or government service, it's a good idea to follow up phone calls with an email or letter, as this creates a record of what was discussed in case you need to make a formal complaint. But that's a separate post)

Plan what you want to say before you make the call - some people like to make a script for themselves. Personally, I find this a bit inflexible as if the other person goes 'off script' I've got no idea what to say. I basically just write down roughly what I'm calling about, any relevant details I may need to provide for security purposes, and what I'd like them to do. Keep it short and snappy.

Arrange for moral support - don't feel afraid to ask someone you trust to sit with you while you make the call, whether in person or maybe on facetime etc. Even just talking through with someone what you're going to say can be helpful. And getting the validation of a job well done afterwards will give you a boost.

Think about the timing of the call - have a look at the company's website for the times their phone lines are open. You may be pleasantly surprised, as a lot of businesses such as insurance firms are open well into evenings and at weekends. It might not always be possible to be picky about when you call, but if you are able to, try to time it for when you don't have anything pressing before or after. Bear in mind that when you face doing something that's anxiety inducing you're going to be keyed up before, during and after, so don't expect too much from yourself for the rest of your day.

You are allowed to stop the call at any time - if you get so overwhelmed you can't take in what the other person is saying, if you can't understand their accent or if the conversation is just not going the way you want it, it's perfectly fine to say you'll need to call back later. There's absolutely no shame in taking a break if you need (even if you end up people put on hold when you call back).

Be assertive but polite - most customer service people are unfortunately used to being berated by customers over issues they have absolutely no control over. Make sure you clearly communicate the issue you are trying to resolve and if possible have done research on the website beforehand. You may be unlucky and get a call agent who is rude to you, but the vast majority of human beings are happy to help someone who is kind and polite to them. Even just a simple please and thank you can go a long way.

And that's it! As I said above the cut, I'm aware following these tips may not be possible for all autistic people. I can't give advice on chat relay services as I have no experience of them, but I do know that for things such as insurance and banks you can nominate someone to speak on your behalf. You may be able to just give permission verbally over the phone or you might have to fill out a form etc, but it's definitely a valid option for some people.

Enjoying my posts and want to support me? You can buy me a coffee here.

#autism #autistic adult #autistic #actually autistic #autistic tips #anxiety #phone calls #adulting #life tips #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodiverse

[tea-with-eleni]

Every time I start to wonder if I'm exaggerating about probably being autistic...

"Are you okay?" asks a concerned and somewhat motherly neurotypical staff member. Twice. You thought you were okay. Apparently you are not masking as well as you thought. This is a bad sign.

"Are you a robot?" asks a delighted child. You do not know how to reply.

You go to make an announcement over the intercom. You sound eerily like tour guide barbie. As soon as the mic is shut off, you go into a full body schlump and revert to sounding a bit more like... you're not sure, but it wasn't made by Mattel. At least, until you next have to talk to someone. Then you try to re-summon the spirit of barbie. It doesn't work.

A guest complains that you were intolerably rude. You do not know what you said. You are not entirely sure that you spoke to the person who claimed you were rude. You did not mean to be. You meant to go above and beyond to make sure they had a good time. Apparently, you failed, for reasons you do not and cannot understand. You are now cursed to review the actions with a fine toothed comb and growing confusion.

You retreat into a safe space for a blessed quarter of an hour and collapse against the wall. It should not be a comfortable position. You contemplate hiding under a desk.

The lights are too loud.

The sounds are too bright.

You simultaneously need to be hugged back into being human and will bite anyone who touches you gently.

Did plain water always have this much taste?

The thought of cooking dinner makes you want to cry, but going out is far worse; you'd have to talk to someone again and in your current state, you can't summon your barbie voice. Then it's nearly 9pm and all the restaurants are closed anyway, so you have to cook something. Thank the gods for tortellini. At least that's quick and easy.

You're crying, and nothing has happened quite bad enough to make you cry, but the emotions have been let out now and you can't shut them back down again.

Your brain starts looping every time you've accidentally fucked up a social interaction to the point of getting in trouble over the last five years. You wish you could delete the memories, since clearly you can't learn from them.

#actually autistic #gonna go live in a cave #sigh

[lionews]

"With the amount of people using lioden that claim to be autistic/ADHD/every other mental affliction they can cram in their cave descriptions, I'd expect people have more sympathy for others who are also clearly, but display different, "laughable" symptoms. It feels like most of you didn't get the chance to be bullies in highschool, so you're living that out here."

Cool, I'm mentally ill and potentially autistic (siblings are, haven't been officially diagnosed for working reasons) and if I'm being fucking obnoxious which I know I CAN be, if I am being blunt as shit and argumentative which I know I CAN be, I do not expect anyone to sit there and blame my mental illnesses for that while leaving me be. People are entitled to be angry over the way I treat them and how I act just as everyone else has the right to be angry or annoyed over the way others (ReadyTest included) acts. Keep your fucking white knight behavior out of here, unless people are being rude, you do NOT have the right to sit there and go 'well you aren't allowed to dislike this person and complain about them because they're mentally ill'. If nothing else, that is infantilization and its fucking disgusting. I'm not a fucking infant, ReadyTest is not an infant, nobody else on this forum or on Lioden is a goddamn infant. You don't have to step in like we're all some kids who must be protected at all costs regardless of what inappropriate behavior we may display. Respectfully, please, fuck off with that damn mindset. Being mentally ill doesn't mean you can't be held accountable for being annoying.

.

[sgkjd]

what really hurts, now that it's been a few years since i realized i'm autistic and since i've been deepening and widening my understanding of myself and what works for me all over again basically from scratch - i see my parents and other family members from older generations not being aware of their neurodivergencies at all, and so having these toxic internalized immovable and unchangeable (mostly social) rules of "how it should be": imposing them on themselves and draining themselves out, as well as imposing them on everyone around and often hurting people they love; not knowing what's the cause of their anger, how to manage it and still continuing to perpetuate such behaviors.

what's interesting is that if i ask every single one of them why are they still doing it if it's not what they believe to be right/their truth and if it causes emotional pain to others - they can give me an in depth analysis of how it's really just a norm and an etiquette, and how it really doesn't mean anything to them but they just have to do it and push through it since it's what they were taught and it's accepted to do so in our society unless they want to seem rude and mean. it's like they know it's stupid, but there's no, and even cannot be, way out of this.

this comes both with very destructive beliefs such as being transphobic, homophobic and ableist (the paradox here lol) but also with more simple things like having these unnecessary social behaviors or, in other words, having adopted and learnt the neurotypical way of communicating and so policing themselves and others into talking/behaving this and this way only.

personally, i'm not a person for who saying hellos and goodbyes comes naturally. and i never do it unless i make it a conscious effort (with people i see for the first time, for example) because in comfortable settings i just completely forget about it since it doesn't mean anything and simply don't have any substance to me nor are useful as a means of communication. hence i don't waste my energy on them when i don't have to.

however, this one middle-aged person from my rather close family everyday goes out of their way to distinctly say hi and bye whenever they come in contact with me. and for the longest time it made me so anxious and unnecessary tense to feel like i have to reciprocate them by doing the same. it was stressful to the point where i knew i'll be seeing them and i kept anxiously waiting trying to not forget to say hi. it was bothering me so much that recently i explained my relationship with hellos and goodbyes to said person and asked them to not feel upset or feel like i'm angry at them whenever i don't respond back with a hello to their hello. they said "i just think it's polite to do so, it's what i've been taught when i was a kid. i do feel like it's mean to not reciprocate with a hello back to me. but i guess i'll keep in mind what you said." they seemed to clearly imply how they know these words don't mean much but they are doing it since "it's how people are supposed to communicate" and at the same time they expect everyone else to do so and it's bad bad if other people don't do it.

there's nothing to conclude here. while i took an example that's on a lighter side, it's a strange feeling to keep on realizing how as a kid i was neglected and hurt the most by none other than autistic and/or adhd people (excluding other conditions that make them neurodivergent) - namely my parents and grandparents, the people closest to me while growing up.

#my mom lately keeps realizing a lot of things about herself #once she said she truly forgets about people no matter how much she loves them if they don't actively need her help #meaning that if you don't clearly say to her that you're having trouble meaning you don't require immediate attention from her #she naturally cannot give attention to you unless you climb to the 1st spot in her importance list by needing her help #otherwise she forgets about everything that's not the first like 2 or 3 places 😭😭😭 #no wonder i went on without my struggles being noticed given i never directly asked her to help me ..... #i cant even feel angry at her bc how can i be angry with traits i myself have 😭 #although this experience did end up in me having a special interest in human psychology etc #so now im hyper aware of the way people are and why they do what they do #; words generated by me #actually autistic

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Did you get blocked by Aaron Sparrow on twitter???

Yeah, and the thing is, I don't even think I did anything that could warrant that reaction other than disagree with how he handled QuackerJack in the 2011 comics ((y'know, the comics where the silly toy duck guy with a short temper decided to kidnap his friends, hold them hostage, strangled a robot until it was screaming for mercy, use his bestie as a car battery, have a mental breakdown in real time while holding an office building hostage, threatened to throw a lady into the equivalent of a woodchipper for voicing that everyone present could bumrush him to stop him from causing more harm, actively implied that his doll was now talking to him and tell him to hurt people, and then just offs himself and dumps his soulless husk on his ex-girlfriend's doorstep with a note that said "this is the best I'll ever be"?))

And his response was initially "Well, maybe it would be just better if everyone just kissed all the time, since you can't accept conflict or that people can change and get fixated on a goal. 🤷‍♂️"

And I was like: "Bruh, that's not the point, tho?" and have since just dropped that and the last thing I literally said was a question pertaining to what he meant with the "Look how they massacred my boy" gif as he seems to have seen a preview of the upcoming comics he ain't a part of, but anyway, this is literally the only cross interaction I've had with him and I don't think I was that out of line to get such a response, so I'm wondering if he thinks I'm one of those people that's bothering him on other platforms, because I don't actually use anything other than Tumblr, and my other accounts are just name holders from when I was in my early 20s to make sure that I got my username grabbed in case those sites popped off with my web friends instead. I can literally just screenshot my pages on other social media and prove I'm not the name bothering him if he wants.

Like, I don't mind conflict in stories ((my favorite fanfiction genre to write is Angst and Hurt/Comfort)), but surely I'm not unreasonable in saying that QuackerJack using Megavolt's life support device as a car battery without his consent and draining him to the point of near unresponsiveness is kind of taking it a bit far in a comic series that's supposed to be continuing a cartoon from a weekday afternoon time block from 90s Disney, right?

Especially when the writer is making this character in question be basically Duck Joker, and not just any Joker, but scary Joker.

The cartoon funny toy making duck with a short fuse, from the same timeline and universe as Mickey Mouse, who lives on the other side of the bridge from Donald Duck and family, whose merchandise is worn by Goofy Goof's son, you gonna tell me this guy is supposed be this dark? I think Sparrow should remember: QuackerJack exists in the same era and universe as POWERLINE.

But yeah, maybe I was a bit snarky, but blocking me over that is a bit of an overreaction. Usually, there's a cool down time and then people move on and sometimes end up being mutuals with me because it's not even malicious. I literally just espressed displeasure at the way that story went. I don't have to accept that just because he's a published writer. So is JK Rowling, and we all know how well that's working out for her.

He's lucky I didn't snap at him over that atrocious "autism awareness" episode he wrote for "Young Justice". That was vile and even my bestie who isn't autistic ((but her siblings are)) and is a huge comic nerd agreed that that episode was awful and offensive and clearly written by someone who never has even interacted with an autistic person before.

Whatever. I have better things to do than let some manchild geezer with an ego the size of a planet mess with me. I'm mostly annoyed with him for being rude to my friends anyway.