#and would feel absolutely disgusted with himself afterward. like might vomit type of disgusted

[deathbind]

Serot's own arsenal of spells and generally how he applies necrotic magic differs from modern day Anactaci. You can clearly see the foundation he laid, but it has been over a thousand years. The order has evolved considerably in that time. There's also the fact that he was reborn at level one and has structured his skills to suit his present needs, but [hand waves]

There are different sects and roles within the Anactaci who call on the Plane of Death in different ways, but certain generalities can be relied upon. Their magic is largely geared toward what would be considered divination. They are the bridge between this life and the next, the messengers of eternity. They commune both with the souls of the dead and with spirits — chiefly spirits / entities on the Plane of Death but spirits of all types, including those like Refhremmit. Indeed, every City of Eternity has one Anactaci dedicated to communing with their patron. It is a sacred office.

Beyond that, their magic is deeply focused on the soul and the threshold between life and death. They are adept at identifying and countering curses or maladies of the soul. They are adept at identifying and addressing possessions or spiritual attachments. The skilled can manipulate the ravages of time on a body or object (a skill shared with the Manthu). The most skilled of all can leave their bodies behind to inhabit ritually prepared objects; these become the teachers of the Anactaci and keepers of the deepest mysteries.

Yes of course, they animate and preserve corpses, either directly or by calling a spirit to inhabit it. This is part of Meketi funerary rites. But, simply making dead things move is only part of their skillset. Indeed, it's the most basic part.

Anactaci are bound by sacred oaths to turn their magic to holy purpose and with a thought for balance always. However, a truly irate or unscrupulous Anactaci could do serious damage. Particularly if they are skilled. Insidious curses and nigh-undetectable possessions (i.e. slowly driving a person to madness with ill luck or nightmares; far worse curses are possible). Yanking a person's soul directly from their body, either holding it captive or causing it to become lost. Learning secrets from spirits or from souls that can utterly destroy a person. Causing them to rapidly age, turning to sun-bleached bone before their eyes, one limb at a time. Or causing them to wither, then return to their correct age, then wither, then return to their correct age — over and over until they don't know whether they're alive or dead. If capable of severing their soul from their body, they can possess others directly, influencing or totally overriding their will. They might not touch a person at all; they might sap all life from their home instead.

Fortunately, such corrupt Anactaci are rare — and swiftly dealt with.

#META / HC: WORLDBUILDING. #RE: ANACTACI #this isn't a polished meta #but I'm reading about Chosen so obvs magical abilities are on my mind #Serot's rain of blood and animate blood he learned as a ghul lord have the fucking pizzazz #but modern Anactaci are frightening in ways you don't think to fear til it's too late #or rather they have the potential to be if they forsake their oaths #which has consequences. Anactaci and Manthu both are literally bound by their oaths. those tattoos aren't merely aesthetic #but that's a discussion for another time #Serot getting angry enough to yank someone's soul directly out of their body tho . . . #he would have to be beyond incensed for that #and would feel absolutely disgusted with himself afterward. like might vomit type of disgusted #still. if Serot wasn't a moral man. he could be horrifying #he could make your blood boil you alive from the inside #he could make your own body turn against you while you're trapped inside helpless #he could keep your soul in a jar while he puppets your body #and allows you to learn whether the incorporeal can feel torment #he could call the Plane of Death into your very soul and watch it consume all life within you #and leave your body to infect anyone else nearby with the same fate #he could banish part of you to the Plane of Death so that the part of you on the Material Plane experiences that torment without reprieve #and must live from then on missing something with a searing ache that was swallowed by death itself #or he could banish you there just briefly and pull you back before you exploded. dangling you just above death like a pot of boiling oil #he could call down plagues. he could raise droves of undead their ranks replenished by their victims #he could drain life from the very earth itself #he WON'T but he COULD #well also it's gonna take time to get back to the power level he was at before dying in his first life #and frankly he doesn't want to be back at the level if he doesn't have to be #but y'know. first life. if he'd been a cruel man.

[webslinger-holland]

Baby Holland | Tom Holland

Summary: A compilation of cute little moments during the reader’s unplanned pregnancy with Baby Holland…

Warning: major cuteness and mentions of pregnancy

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Type: Oneshot (I will write more of these if requested)

MASTERLIST

The early morning sun was starting to rise. The vibrant colors of the sunrise were spreading across the long length of the skyline. The yellow sunlight was filtering through the light white clouds, signaling the end of the rainy season. The air was very clear.

The air was so cold yet the trees were on fire. The leaves were showcasing those nice vibrant colors of red, orange, and yellow. The grass was just starting to dry out in the fall season. The water droplets were lingering on the tops of the velvety green leaves of the large forest trees. The puddles were making the ground nice and damp. It was fall.

The pretty songbirds were flying through the blue skyline, heading towards the rough dry ground. The little birds were hopping around, pecking at the ground. Afterwards, the little birds would return back to the quaint little nests in the heights of the tallest trees. A new batch of little baby birds were lingering in the rustic contents of the warm nest, opening their little beaks in a demanding manner. The little squeaks of the baby birds were signaling the beginning of their never ending appetites.

At the given moment, Y/N had been sleeping the whole morning away with her dear sweet husband. She could feel her husband’s forearm wrapped around her waist, gently coaxing her into his grasp. Her back was pressed against his bare chest, so she wasn’t able to see his sleeping figure. She weaved her fingers through his own that lay across her stomach, savoring the sweet moment between the two of them.

However, she could feel this strong wave of nausea taking over her senses. Her stomach was lurching in a rough manner, gurgling with the most unpleasant noise. She tasted something tangy at the back of her throat. She tried to force down the bile, but it wouldn’t do any good. 

Without hesitation, Y/N had forced herself to scramble out of her bed. She had hurried towards the master bathroom, slamming the wood door open in desperation. She didn’t even acknowledge that the noise had awoken her sleeping husband. She dropped down to her knees in front of the toilet bowl, feeling the vomit coming up her throat.

Her body heaved. She couldn’t seem to stop the chunks of food covered in the creamy chyme from coming out of her mouth. Her stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything out of her system. 

She didn’t even notice the gentle fingers pulling her long hair out of her face. Her dear husband was towering over her smaller figure, staring down at her with a look of concern on his face. He rubbed her back in a very soothing manner, whispering some words of encouragement to her. 

The vomit came up looking like clam chowder and smelling like pure acid. The wave of nausea was slowly starting to subside within her body. The pungent stench invaded her nostrils and she heaved even though there was nothing left in her.

Her throat felt sore from the stomach acid that was layering it. Her mouth was coated in the strong aftertaste of her own vomit. Her soft eyes were starting to water at the awful feeling in her stomach. She whimpered to herself. She just felt absolutely horrible. And she had for quite some time.

“This is the fifth time this week,” Tom claimed. He did not hesitate to lean down to plant a soft kiss on the top of her head. He slipped his hand around her body, rubbing her stomach to soothe her. He looked down at her. “Don’t you think we should take you to see the doctor?” Tom questioned.

“I am sure that it’s nothing to worry about, Tom.” She dismissed him. She wiped the back of her hand against her mouth, cleaning the small amount of residue forming at the corner of her mouth. She made a noise of disgust. “We had dinner at that exotic place that week. It just didn’t agree with me,” she claimed.

“I would still like to be sure,” Tom whispered. He turned his head to look down at her, waiting for some kind of response. He could see the faint nodding of her head, which meant that she was compliant with him. He smiled at her weakly. “I am gonna get your coat and shoes,” Tom said.

Slowly, Tom excused himself to that he could gather their things. He walked into the bedroom, heading towards the dresser on the other side of the room. He pulled out a random shirt, throwing it over his head. He also grabbed one of his old sweatshirts. He took the car keys off the top of the dresser. 

Meanwhile, Y/N had closed the lid of the toilet. She flushed the contents of her stomach, so that she wouldn't have to look or smell it every again. She forced herself to stand to her feet, feeling slightly uneasy with each step. She stood in front of the mirror, staring at her own reflection in the glass mirror.

She looked absolutely miserable. She had these dark circles underneath her eyes from the distinct lack of sleep. Her long locks of hair were tangled and tousled with knots. She wasn’t wearing any makeup either, which only added to the fact that she looked like a complete mess. She almost couldn’t stand to look at herself.

For some unknown reason, Y/N had thought of something that was given to her a long time ago. She wondered if that thing might be able to help her identify whatever was happening to her body. She also knew exactly where she had kept the little trinket.

Hesitantly, Y/N had dropped back down to her knees in front of the cupboard underneath the sink. She opened the doors of the cabinet. She started searching through the various feminine supplies and rolls of toilet paper, finding the little box at the back of the cupboard. She held a pregnancy test in her hands.

She could clearly remember when the pregnancy test was given to her. It was on the night of her bachelorette party nearly two years ago. It had been a gift from her closest friends. It was meant to be a sort of ‘gag gift.’ 

She didn’t think much of it at that time. She simply threw it under her sink so that—if she ever needed it—she would be able to find it easily in its convenient spot. Now she would finally have need of it after two years.

With shaky hands, Y/N flipped the small box over so that she would be able to read the instructions. She lifted her hand to close the bathroom door, heading back towards the toilet bowl. She was able to finish every single step within a few moments. She set the test on the back of the bowl.

In the meantime, Y/N was trying to brush her teeth in the most thorough manner. She just wanted to get the disgusting taste of bile out of her mouth. When she had finished brushing her teeth, she had decided to splash some water on her face. She cleaned her hands with a small towel, glancing towards the small test through the corner of her eye. It wouldn’t be long now.

The small cheap beeping noise had started coming from the pregnancy test on the back of the toilet bowl. The final result would either show one line for negative or two lines for positive. It wasn’t the most accurate thing sometimes.

She had forced herself to walk towards the small test. She was very hesitant to take the test into her hands, but she was able to do it. She had dropped her gaze to stare down at the results, feeling her breath hitching in the back of her throat. She could see two evident lines on the test. She was pregnant.

Slowly, Y/N had walked out of the bathroom with the small test in her hands. She had watched her husband scurrying around the bedroom in attempts to collect every single little thing that they might need for the drive. She called his name.

“Are you ready to go?” Tom questioned. He had turned to look towards her in his own place, but he had stopped in his tracks upon seeing the fresh tears gathering in her eyes. His heart had practically dropped into his stomach at the mere sight. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Tom wondered.

“It’s not food poisoning,” Y/N whispered. She had shook her head at her own comment. She had forced herself to swallow the heavy lump lingering at the back of her throat. She could feel the new salty tears streaming down her face.

“It’s not? What is it then?” Tom challenged. He had shifted to take one single step forward in his place, staring at her with a strong hint of curiosity in his brown eyes. He couldn’t imagine what would have been wrong. 

“I’m...I’m pregnant,” Y/N choked on her own choice of words. She was hesitant to show him the small test in her hands. She could feel a sudden buildup of emotions gathering in the back of her mind, which took over her senses with such ease. She didn’t know how her husband was going to react. 

However, Tom was barely able to process his own emotions that were coursing through his train of thought. He felt a strong sense of shock and surprise, but he also felt an insane amount of happiness in the depths of his heart. He couldn’t even find the right words to express his emotions to her. 

“You’re pregnant?” Tom whispered. 

“It makes sense,” Y/N claimed. She was quick to list the various symptoms that she had been experiencing lately that would have correlated with the signs of pregnancy. “I have been so nauseas recently. I have these mood swings all the time. I didn’t even realize it at first, but I was also late on my period.” She confessed.

Her husband was still trying to process the mere thought in his mind. He was almost thinking too hard about it. He had only briefly talked about having kids with her. He told her that he wanted to wait a few years after they had gotten married. He defiantly wasn't expecting this, but he was completely overjoyed at the thought. 

“You are angry with me. You said that you didn’t want to have any kids right away—” she had started to ramble.

“What? No!” Tom exclaimed. He took a few steps in his place. He stood directly in front of her. He brought his hands to the sides of her face, rubbing her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. He could feel the smile growing at the corners of his lips. “I am just surprised. We are having a baby,” Tom sighed.

In response, Y/N found herself smiling at his sweet words. She had released a small breathy laugh before nodding her head in confirmation. She stared up at him with a spark in her eyes, thinking about their bright future together with a little one on the way. She couldn’t wait for it.

His lips brush against her own in the most passionate kiss. His lips was warm and gentle. He slanted her head further, deepening the kiss. His hands were wrapped around her waist and her arms locked around his neck to pull him down slightly. His smile would only grow bigger. 

Within a few moments, the two of them were forced to pull away from each other. He drew her closer to him. He had lifted her off the floor as if she didn’t weight anything at all. His strong forearms were tightly wrapped around her small waist, holding her against him. He began nuzzling her neck with delicate kisses. He whispered sweet nothings into her ear. 

“That’s...that’s wonderful,” Tom smiled. He was very hesitant to lower her back onto the ground, because he wanted nothing more than to just hold her in his arms forever. He looked down at her like she just had handed him the whole world. “It’s absolutely wonderful. You’re wonderful,” Tom breathed.

“We should schedule an appointment with the doctor,” Y/N suggested. She grabbed onto his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together. She pressed one quick kiss to his lips. She smiled brightly up at him. “We can confirm it there,” Y/N concluded.

It had been nearly an entire week before the young couples scheduled appointment at the doctor’s office. They were currently waiting in the small examination room. They were just waiting for the doctor to come back with the test results.

Currently, Tom was pacing the short stretch of the room. He had the very tip of his thumb in his mouth, biting down on his nails out of habit. He just had this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“You’re making me nervous,” Y/N confessed. She had a strong look of concern and worry on her face. She had dropped her gaze to stare down at her hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers in a nervous manner. She let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” Tom sighed. He didn’t mean to make her nervous, but he was very impatient to find out the test results. He walked across the small room, settling down in the seat next to her. He took her hand in his own.

In that moment, the doctor had opened the door and walked into his office. He was sure to close the door behind him for privacy reasons. He shuffled to stand in front of the young couple, stopping in his place. He was holding onto a clipboard in his hands, which no doubt had the test results on them. He smiled at them.

“I should congratulate you! It looks like your tests came back positive,” the doctor claimed. He had just briefly flipped through the pages on his clipboard. He was able to determine that she was eight weeks into her pregnancy. “You are pregnant,” he confessed.

The couple had turned their heads to look at each other with wide smiles on their faces. The doctor wanted to do an ultrasound just to check the baby’s vitals and to make sure the baby was healthy. 

The doctor started to prepare the ultrasound machine. He flipped a few switches and clicked a few buttons. The expecting future mother was currently laying examiner’s table. She lifted her shirt just high enough to expose her flat stomach. The doctor had smeared this cool gel onto her stomach, shifting to move the cursor through the weird sticky stuff.

Suddenly, a heavy thumping sound was starting to come from the machine. The tiny tympanic heartbeat was the only sign that a new life had begun within her. However, that would soon change when the screen’s monitor showed the a black and white fuzzy picture. There was a very small figure in the center of the screen. It was the baby.

At eight weeks, the baby was about the size of a small berry. He pointed out that the head was here and the body was there. He claimed that baby’s vitals were perfectly normal. He also said that the baby was perfectly healthy and growing naturally. He took a few pictures of the screen to print out for them.

“Would you look at that? That’s our baby,” Tom said with the biggest smile on his face. He was just staring down at the little picture in his hands, claiming that he was going to put it in his wallet so he could keep it close to him. He pecked his wife’s lips in a loving manner. “I love you,” Tom whispered.

When it came time to tell their friends and family about the news of their pregnancy, the young couple decided that they only wanted to tell a few select people for privacy reasons. They wanted to keep the pregnancy out of the public press. 

They were going to tell the family during their weekly family dinner with both sides of the family. The Holland family was hosting this week’s dinner. They had also invited Harrison over for dinner. 

The two of them found themselves heading towards the front door of his childhood home. They had stopped to stand in front of the door. They had rung the doorbell on the side of the door, waiting patiently by themselves. They could hear the faint footsteps coming closer. They had watched the door swing wide open to revel both of their parents on the other side. 

“There they are,” Nikki exclaimed. She was quick to pull both of them into the house. She had closed the door behind them. She had basically flung her arms around her son’s taller frame, pulling him down to her height. She kissed his check affectionately.

“My dear,” Sarah (her mom) smiled. She wrapped her arms around her dear daughter, squeezing her tightly. She almost didn’t want to let her go, but she did eventually. She was already rambling on about how her daughter never came to visit her anymore. 

Her dad had come to stand beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, bringing her smaller figure into his side in a loving manner. He pressed a small kiss on the top of her head. He pulled away from her. He had turned his head to look towards his son-in-law, taking one single step forward to address him.

“How are you, son?” He wondered. He didn’t seem to smile at him. He was standing directly in front of him. He was probably trying to seem intimidating to him. He gave him a firm hand shake. 

“I’m good, sir,” Tom answered politely. He had released his father-in-law’s hand, lowering it back down to his side. He nodded his head in acknowledgment. “It’s very nice to see you again, Mr and Mrs Y/L/N,” Tom stated with a small smile on his face.

In the background, the three brothers were trying to hush the dog who just kept barking. The boys would head towards the group to greet their own brother and only sister-in-law. They headed into the living room to keep talking with each other.

During dinner, the whole family was sitting around the table. The two fathers were sitting on either end of the table. On the the far side of the table, Nikki and Sarah were sitting beside each other along with Harry and Harrison. On the opposite side of the table, the young couple was sitting with Sam and Paddy.

The soft sound of silverware clinking and clanging against the plates could be heard very distinctly. The small talk was very brief. The boys were mostly talking about Harry’s new film that they were shooting in the backyard. The young couple had been silently for most of the meal because they didn’t know how to bring up the baby. 

Slowly, Tom had turned his head to look at his wife sitting beside him. He could tell that she wasn't really engaged in the conversation, because her mind was somewhere else. His hand found its way to her thigh. He squeezed her thigh in a reassuring manner, subconsciously bringing her back from her thoughts.

“You have been very quiet this evening,” John (her dad) spoke up. He had turned his head to glance between the two of them, catching the unspoken communication happening during dinner. He raised his eyebrows at them. “What’s on your mind?” He wondered.

“We have something that we would like to share with you,” Y/N said. She grabbed onto her husband’s hand under the table, glancing at him through the corner of her eye. She released a shaky breath. “We...we are going to have a baby,” Y/N confessed.

There was a moment of silence that had honestly felt like an absolute eternity. The whole family was simply trying unpack the load that had just been handed to them. The young couple were studying each of the family members, searching for some kind of reaction from them.

“Y-You’re pregnant?” Her mother was the very first person to speak. She spoke in a tone of disbelief. Her eldest daughter had only nodded her head in response. She smiled at her. 

“I knew it,” Sam said with a triumphant smile on his face. He had turned his head to look across the small stretch of the table, pointing a finger towards his twin brother. “You owe me money,” Sam stated. 

“Oh my god!" Her mother screamed. Her mother had screamed so loudly that it had practically startled every other person sitting at the table. She stood up from the table. She did not hesitate to run towards her, throwing her arms around her in a tight hug. She was still sitting in her chair so her head was resting against her mother’s own stomach. Her body visibly relaxed at her reaction, melting into her mother’s embrace.

“You’re pregnant with our first grandbaby,” Nikki exclaimed. She had lifted her hand to cover her mouth in slight disbelief. Her smile was starting to grow at the corners of her lips. She had a few tears in her eyes too.

Meanwhile, her father had also stood to his feet. He had turned his head to look directly at his son-in-law, taking a few steps towards him. In response, Tom had stood up very quickly out of respect. He wondered if his father-in-law was going to punch him for impregnating his daughter. He was instead pulled into a hug.

For a brief moment, Tom was so shocked that he kept his arms at his sides. He had always known that his father-in-law was never a really emotional or sentimental man. When his father-in-law had pulled away from him, he could see the fresh tears in his eyes.

“You are a good man, Tom. You must be sure to take good care of them now,” her father explained. He had forced himself to clear his throat. He had tried to lower his voice to hide the fact that he was crying tears of joy. 

“Yes sir. I will,” Tom said. He had turned his head head to look down at his wife beside him, feeling a strong sense of protectiveness overtake him. He placed a hand on her shoulder. And he smiled down at her. 

For the rest of the night, the whole family was only talking about the new baby. The two mothers were now fawning and fretting over the expecting mother in their midst. The two fathers wanted to share some advice with the young couple. The four boys were bickering about who was going to be the best uncle out of all of them. The boys had also started to place bets down on the gender of the baby. And the young couple were able to tell that the whole family was just as excited for the baby as they were. 

At thirteen weeks, the baby bump was finally starting to show little by little. She found it very difficult to get into her jeans. She jumped up and down in hopes of getting her pants higher onto her waist. She just wasn’t able to secure the bottom. She would eventually just get frustrated enough that she would switch out her jeans for leggings. 

She was (at first) very self-conscious about her baby bump. She would even wonder if the baby bump wasn’t a baby at all. She had been having these insanely weird food cravings recently. She combined some of the weirdest foods together like pickles and ice cream or bacon and peanut butter. 

One night, Tom had turned to wrap his arm around his wife’s waist in their shared bed. He was greatly disappointed to find that his wife was not even in their bed. He quickly climbed out of bed to go find her. 

She was currently sitting on the large plush couch in the living room. She had a heavy blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She had a small tub of ice cream resting on the top of her baby bump. She dug her spoon into the tub of ice cream. Then she stuffed the silver spoon into her mouth, sobbing uncontrollably to herself. 

She said that she didn’t feel beautiful with the baby bump because she was convinced that it wasn’t a baby bump at all. She believed that her baby bump was actually just her gaining weight from the weird food combos. Her husband had to convince her that she was absolutely beautiful to him. He also said that it was just the baby growing inside her. 

Thankfully, her doctor was also able to reassure her that it was a baby bump. She was right at the end of her first trimester, so it was completely normal and natural that her baby bump would start showing now. She felt so relieved to hear that. 

For a while, she felt bad that her dear husband had to put up with her weird food cravings and her unpredictable mood swings. She had known that it was apart of the process, but that didn’t stop her from feeling bad about it. She would always apologize to him afterwards. And she was rewarded with a soft and sweet kiss from him.

Every night, Tom liked to lay down on the top of her legs with his head right in front of the baby bump. He would always start by lifting her shirt up to expose her growing stomach. He rubbed his hands on the sides of her stomach in a soothing and reassuring manner. He would pepper kisses on her bare skin, which tickled her sometimes. He also liked to talk to the baby even if the baby couldn’t hear him yet.

During the seventeenth week of pregnancy, Y/N was able to feel the baby move for the first time. It had practically taken her breath away at first. She pressed her hand down to the side of her stomach, practically searching for the place the baby had moved.

With each day, the baby was starting to become more active in her stomach. The baby’s turns and kicks were getting more frequent and more obvious. She was slowly getting used to the fluttery feeling happening inside of her. 

During one of Tom’s night sessions with the baby bump, the baby had actually responded to him with a sharp and strong kick in her side. It had caused her to grunt and press her hand to the side of her stomach. She had closed her eyes and breathed out slowly.

“Are you okay? Is something wrong?” Tom asked. He was looking at her with a strong sense of worry and concern in the depths of his eyes. He was quick to grab onto her hand to comfort her. He kissed the back of her hand.

Without hesitation, Y/N had shifted his hand down the side of her stomach. She had pressed his warm palm against the specific spot where she felt the baby kick. She had hoped the baby would kick again.

“Come on, baby. Your daddy wants to feel you kicking,” she said in the sweetest and softest tone of voice. Her heart had almost jumped out of her chest upon feeling another prominent kick coming from the exact same spot on her stomach. She laughed at the feeling.

“Oh my. You can really feel him kicking in there,” Tom said with a big smile on his face. He didn’t even catch the specific pronoun that had come out of his mouth. He had probably just said it subconsciously. He pressed a sweet kiss to the spot. He grew to love his baby more with each passing day.

The baby shower was going to be held at the young couple’s house. The whole family was taking care of the various things that needed to get done before the guests arrived. The three brothers were suppose to be inflating pink and blue balloons, but it just turned into them ‘accidentally’ letting them loose on each other. The mothers were working diligently in the kitchen, preparing various snacks for the guests. It felt like things were really starting to come together.

However, when the soon-to-be mother had finally come down the stairs, she had wanted to help with some of the last minute details. She had tried to bend down to grab one of the streamers, but the whole family had just yelled at her. They said that she needed to sit down and relax because everything was already going to be taken care of and she didn’t need to worry about anything. She just sighed to herself, sitting down on the couch next to the dog.

Once the guests had begun to arrive at the house, the baby shower was able to start. The couple had decided that they weren’t going to find out the baby’s gender until he/she was born. There was a small bowl in the center of the coffee table where the guests could write down their guess on the baby’s gender and place it in the bowl. The three brothers were able to collect the papers, counting out how many people had voted for a girl and how many people had voted for a boy.

It was no surprise that her own mother and mother-in-law had said that they wanted their grandbaby to be a girl. Now Nikki only had four boys of her own. She wanted a granddaughter that she could spoil rotten with gifts and gowns. However, the Holland boys were absolutely convinced that the baby was going to be a boy for “obvious reasons.” The young couple really didn’t care about the gender right now. They just hoped that the baby would be healthy when it came into the world.

The guests’ gifts had consisted of an endless supply of diapers and bottles. They also received various baby creams, lotions, and powders. There was only one present left to open. 

“Who is this one from?” Y/N wondered. She had been given the last present by her personal helper (Paddy). She didn’t even notice the small blush on his cheeks. She had grabbed onto the small tag on the side, reading the name of her little brother-in-law. “Is this from you, Paddy?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Paddy nodded shyly. He was fiddling with his fingers in a nervous manner, feeling slightly uncomfortable with all the adults looking directly at him. He pointed to the small bag. “It used to be mine but I am getting too old now. I wanted to give it to your baby,” Paddy claimed

“Oh Paddy,” Y/N said with a small swoon. She found a small brown teddy bear in the bag. The brown bear’s fur did look slightly worn and old. The teddy bear smelled like lavender, which meant that it had been thrown into the wash just recently. Now the teddy bear had soft brown fur, a button nose, and silky paws. It was just perfect. 

“The baby will love it,” Tom said with a bright smile. He had turned his head to look over at his youngest brother, tilting his head to nod at him. He wanted to give his brother at hug at the sweet gesture, but he knew that it would only embarrass him further. 

It was starting to become much later in the day. The guests had started to take their leave until there were no guests in the house at all. The whole family pitched in the clean up the mess that was left. The boys were currently picking up the wrapping paper from the presents in the living room. The girls were working to clean and wash the dishes in the kitchen.

The Holland boys been ordered by their dearest mother to carry the various gifts out to the car. This would quickly turn into a competition to see who could carry the most gifts. Of course, Paddy was trying to balance an entire tower of presents in his hands and Sam tried to stack some on his head. It only resulted in some of the presents being dropped onto the ground. They were thankful that their mother didn’t see that.

At the end of the day, Tom and Y/N would drive back to their own house which was only a few blocks away from them. She wanted to help him carry the gifts into the house, but he insisted that he could carry them by himself. She would direct him to bring the various presents into the only spare bedroom in their small house, which they intended to convert into a nursery. They would have to start working on that sooner or later. 

The whole week had been dedicated to cleaning out the second bedroom in their small house. They were going to start to convert it into a nursery this next week. The young couple had decided to paint the walls with a mild grey tone, because it was a pretty neutral color. It was also very clean and bland. 

Now Tom and Haz had taken a few days to paint the whole nursery. At first, they didn’t buy enough paint for the whole room. They had to go back to the store to buy more. The only problem was that they bought the wrong shade of grey in the nursery. They had only realized this until they had painted half the wall. The two boys would have to go back to the store again.

At the moment, Y/N was twenty-three weeks into her pregnancy. She had found herself spending most of her time off her feet because they were starting to swell. Her neck was constantly stiff and her back was killing her. She wasn’t able to really relax with the whole baby thing. 

Today, Y/N and Tom were planning on going out to the shops to pick out various pieces of furniture for the nursery. He had wanted his brothers (including Haz) to tag along with them so that they could help him lift the heavier furniture. She had already ordered some decorations to put in the nursery, but now they needed some other essential items.

"Why don't Sam and Harry look for some gender neutral onesies, sleep suits, and rompers? I’ll have Tom and Haz start looking for a carseat and a good stroller. And Paddy and I will look for a crib/craddle and a changing table,” Y/N said with a small smile on her face. 

At once, Sam and Harry had hurried to find a cart for themselves. They were immediately headed towards the clothing aisle near the back of the store. In the meantime, Y/N had found herself reaching down to grab onto Paddy’s hand. She started leading him in the right direction, shifting towards the large furniture section of the store. Finally, Tom and Haz had started off on their own journey to find the things.

Currently, Sam and Harry were standing in front of the clothing racks that were specifically for baby boys. They really didn’t know where to start, so they just started grabbing each of the outfits on the racks. The two twins would simply toss each piece of clothing into the cart. 

“What size will he come out as?” Sam wondered. He was quick to find the small tag on the back collar of the clothes that indicated the size of the infant. He had turned his head to look at his brother standing beside him, tilting his head for some kind of explanation. 

“He’ll be a big boy. That’s for sure,” Harry smiled. The two twins had basically cleaned out the small store, buying every single baby boy outfit in biggest size possible. They had a strong feeling that the baby was going to be a boy. They really didn’t have any regrets.

Meanwhile, Tom and Haz were reading the directions on the back of the box for a special stroller. The two of them were able to find different brands of strollers, carriers, and carseats. They had already added a certain carrier and carseat to their cart. 

“It’s like building a rocket,” Tom exclaimed. He had just briefly read some of the directions on the back of the box, finding that he didn’t know most of the names of the parts. He didn’t think it would be an easy task. “I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Tom confessed

“I can help you assemble it,” Haz said. He had shrugged his his shoulders at the notion, stating that it couldn’t be that hard to put it together. He sent him a small smile.

With a simple nod the the head, Tom and Haz had managed to hoist the heavy box into the cart. They were already able to get everything on their list. The two of them started to head down the long length of the aisle, shifting to round the sharp corner. The next aisle was full of books! 

Hesitantly, Tom had found himself turning into the book aisle. He was taking a quick glance at the titles of the books. He had grabbed one book that was called “What To Expect When You Are Expecting.” He silently wondered if he should take some of these books home with him. He placed the book in the cart.

In the other aisle, Y/N and Paddy were carefully studying the different displays of baby furniture. The two of them would take their time and stop to look at one. They were able to point out their favorite features of the furniture piece, but they were also able to find some flaws (wrong color or weird design). 

There was a large white crib with thick bars and a shelf that had drawers built into the side. There was also a white changing table which was an added addition to the set. The furniture was quite expensive.

“Do you like that one?” Tom asked.

In response, Y/N had practically jumped at his words. She had shifted to face him, scolding him for scaring her so badly. She was able to look back towards the matching furniture, mentally imagining what the two pieces would look like in the nursery at home. 

“I love it,” Y/N confessed. She ran her hand across the smooth wood. She didn’t want to look at the price tag again, but she had to face reality. She sighed to herself, shaking her head at the thought of spending so much money. “But the price is too—”

“Don't worry about the price,” Tom cut her off. He had taken one single step forward in his place, shifting his hand to the side of her waist. He pressed one soft kiss against her temple. He smiled at her. “I’ll buy it for you. I’ll buy you anything you want,” Tom said. 

Within a few moments, Tom and Haz were trying to maneuver one of the boxes into the cart. The two of them were shouting directions at each other, telling one to go right or the other to go left. They were finally able to get one of the boxes into the cart, but they still had one more box to lift and carry into the cart.

In that moment, Sam and Harry had been able to rejoin the group. The two of them were told to grab one of the corners so that they could turn the box onto the side. This was defiantly the heavier piece of furniture out of the two. In the end, the four of them were just able to get the fine furniture into the shopping cart. 

In the background, Y/N had found herself wandering down the long length of the aisle. She had stopped to stand in front of a white rocking chair with a teddy bear on the seat. She could see that the chair also came with an ottoman. She had looked over the small stretch of her shoulder, silently pleading for permission from her dear husband. She didn’t need much to persuade him.

It was trial and effort. The four boys had been trying to carry the two big boxes up the stairs and into the nursery. The four of them kept having to readjust their grip or change the general direction. The boys had been shouting commands at each other for the past hour. They were able to get the big boxes into the nursery at last.

The Holland boys had just finished unboxing the heavy furniture. They had thrown the bubble wrap and packing peanuts in the trash. The boys were now left to assemble the whole thing. 

At one point, Sam and Harry had been trying to translate the directions for the crib which they were convinced had been written in another language. That language had turned out to be French, so they flipped the piece of paper over to read it in English. 

Meanwhile, Tom and Haz had been looking at the various labels on each piece. They had tried to organize the parts in an orderly manner, but they quickly found that random parts and pieces would be put together. They just couldn’t make any sense of it. 

“We need to attack Point B to Point E on part six and then turn counter clockwise until Point A is parallel to Point U on part ten,” Harry read aloud. He had lifted his head to peer over the edge of the paper, looking at the various parts in front of him. 

“Cause that makes perfect sense,” Tom sighed. His voice was laced with complete frustration and confusion. He ran his hand through his hair. He frowned down at the pile of parts in front of him.

“Maybe you should take a break,” Y/N suggested. She was currently standing in the doorframe of the nursery, staring into the small nursery from the hallway. She had subconsciously placed her hand on her stomach.

“No. I can do this. I’m the father,” Tom explained. He had waved his hand in dismissal. He had turned his head to look towards the piece of paper, taking two of the parts listed in his hands. He was able to connect them together.

Slowly, the white crib and changing table were starting to take on a familiar form. The directions had actually made some sense. The tools and power tools were being used to secure every single nail/screw into place. The furniture had been assembled by a team of ‘professionals.’

Nearly three hours later, Y/N had walked into the small nursery with a tray of glass of lemonade. She had basically gasped at the beautiful sight in front of her. Her baby’s nursery was perfectly put together. 

The white crib was pressed against the farthest and darkest wall of the small nursery. The white changing table was laying underneath the window. The matching rocking chair was lingering in the corner of the room with the ottoman at its feet. The closet was full of baby (boy) clothes. There were a few miscellaneous stuffed animals scattered across the floor. It looked absolutely perfect to the expecting mother.

Instantly, Y/N had placed the tray of drinks onto the top of the table. She walked straight towards her dear husband who was still kneeling on the ground, securing the last screw into place. She had placed her hand on her stomach in an affectionate manner.

“It’s perfect, Tom. He will love it,” Y/N said with the biggest and brightest smile on her face. She had lifted her hand to touch the white wooden railing of the baby crib, running her hand across the smooth wood. She just couldn’t wait to see her baby in that very crib in a few short weeks.

“How do you know it’s a boy?” Tom wondered. He had turned his head to look at his wife standing over him, quirking his eyebrow at her choice of pronoun. He was most amused by her words. He smirked at her.

“I just do,” she boasted. She had shrugged her shoulders at her sides. She had forced herself to keep a frown on her face, but it was hard for her to keep her poker face. She could feel the small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“What if I want a girl?” Tom challenged. He was now playing along with her little game. He had subconsciously shifted his hands to the sides of her stomach, rubbing her large stomach in a soothing manner. He hummed under his breath.

“No. You’re not getting one,” she claimed. She couldn’t keep her smile hidden anymore. She had placed her hands on the stretch of his shoulders. She was quick to lean down to his level, pressing one soft kiss on his life. 

“Is that so?” Tom smiled. He had shifted his hands through her long locks of hair, shuffling his hand to the back of her neck to keep her close to him. He could feel her move to perch on his knee. He slanted his head to the side to deepen the kiss. 

“Yuck!” Paddy called. “They’re kissing.”

For the past few weeks leading up the the baby’s birth, Tom had spent most of his time worrying about his heavily pregnant wife. He was constantly standing right beside her because he refused to even leave her side. He just wanted to be close by when she needed him.

He would bring her anything that she asked for, whether that be pillows or pickles. He would massage her sore and swollen feet at the end of the day. He would press kisses against her baby bump to show his love and affection.

He had found himself checking the duffle bag that they would bring to the hospital with them (when it was time for the baby to come). He just wanted to make sure that they had everything they needed. He even made a list of things to bring to the hospital.

During one night session with the baby, Tom had started by lifting her shirt up to expose her heavily pregnant stomach. He rubbed his hands on the sides of her stomach in a soothing and reassuring manner. He pressed one soft kiss on the underside of her stomach.

“I really wish you had come for my birthday,” Tom confessed. He had turned his head to press his ear against the top of her stomach, shutting his eyes to savor the sweet moment. He was listening to the baby’s solid heartbeat. “You would have been the best gift to receive,” Tom explained.

“He will come out soon,” Y/N promised. She didn’t want to admit that she had been having some contractions for the past few days, because she knew that it would only worry her husband. She knew that he would drive her straight to the hospital if she even mentioned it. She was just trying to hold off for a little longer.

However, Y/N was unable to hold it off any longer by the next night. She had been tossing and turning during the entire night because she wasn’t able to get in a comfortable position. She could tell that her contractions were becoming a lot stronger and a lot closer together. 

In the early hours of the night, she had hoisted herself into a sitting position in their shared bed. She could feel a strong contraction hitting her like a ton of bricks, causing her to scrunch her eyes and hold her breath in pain. She had dropped her hand onto the side of her stomach, grunting to herself at the painful sensation coursing through her body. She was quick to wake her sleeping husband.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Tom wondered. He sat up in bed. He had turned his body to face her’s in a split second, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. He could see the visible pain etched onto her face. He took her hand in his own to reassure her. 

“I am having contractions,” Y/N grunted to herself. She felt like she was clawing at her own stomach, feeling the pain ripping through her entire body. She could feel this small amount of relief washing over her, feeling the effects of the sharp and strong contraction start to die down. “I-I think that the baby might be coming,” Y/N said with a small whine.

For a brief second, Tom had been in a full panic mode. He had practically jumped out of their shared bed. He was quick to put some real clothes on. He had started to grab various things around the small stretch of the room, stuffing the car keys into his pocket and grabbing his wife’s loose shoes to wear to the hospital. He had hurried back to her side.

During the next contraction, Tom was sure to set a small timer on his phone. He was careful to watch the timer on his phone, pressing the stop button once she said that the contraction was over. His phone had read fifteen minutes apart. 

Nonetheless, Tom wanted to take his wife directly to the hospital despite her protests of being too early. He helped her out of bed. He had grabbed onto of her favorite sweaters, throwing it over her shoulders. He had started to lead her down the stairs, heading straight towards the front door of the house. He did not forget to grab the duffle bag on the way. 

Slowly, she had climbed into the passenger seat of the car. Her dear husband was careful to stretch the buckle across the big baby bump. She had placed her hand on the side of her stomach. She could see the carseat in the back of the car, which only brought a smile to her face. She was going to have a baby. 

On the way to the hospital, Tom had quickly called their parents to let them know that they were headed to the hospital. He had turned his head to look at his dear wife sitting beside him, trying to see if she was uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form. He was quick to grab her hand in his own. He carried her hand towards his face, pressing a soft kiss to her hand. 

At the hospital, the young couple were able to be checked into an empty room. Even though her contractions were pretty far apart, she was already an entire week late. The doctors wanted to put her in a room (as soon as possible) so that they could check to see how the baby was doing at the moment. They had also figured that—as soon as she went into labor—the baby would come out in no time. They had to get her in the room.

In the private room, Y/N had taken the time to change into the hospital gown. She had been hooked up to various wires and tubes that would monitor her/her baby’s heart rate and her contractions. She was also given some medication to ease the pain for the moment.

Now the doctor had come to check the monitors and to check her cervix dilation. She hadn’t even started dilating just yet. It was way too early to do anything at this point. She would just have to ride out her contractions and wait for her cervix to start to dilate. 

During the first hours, Y/N was laying down in the hospital bed. She was hoping to get some sleep before she would have to deliver the baby, especially since she didn’t get much sleep. She had plenty of pillows and blankets to keep her comfortable. She had fallen asleep within a few minutes. She was able to sleep for an hour. 

In the background, Tom had been making a few personal phone calls to friends and family. He had turned his head to find her sleeping figure on the hospital bed. He stood to his feet, shuffling towards her. He had lowered himself onto the side of the bed, lifting his hand to brush some hair out of her face. He leaned down to kiss her head lovingly.

Within a few moments, Y/N had woken from her hour long sleep. She had hoisted her body into a sitting position, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She gripped onto the white sheets underneath her, feeling this strong contraction coursing through her. She closed her eyes tight.

Once the pain had gone away, Y/N had very slowly stood to her feet. She had started to walk around the small stretch of the room, remembering some book or article that had said walking induces labor. She had one hand on the side of her stomach and one hand on the curve of her back. She sighed to herself.

Without warning, she could feel the fresh tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She had placed the back of her hand against her mouth to hide the fact that she was getting emotional. Her salty tears were wetting her cheeks by streaming down her face. She sniffled her nose.

Out of instinct, Tom had been quick to rush to her side. He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, drawing her into his grasp. He tried to tilt his head down to look at her face, but she simply buried her face in his chest to hide from him. He asked her what was wrong. 

“I just want it to be over,” she cried. She turned her head to nuzzle into his neck, trying to be closer to him. She could feel the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child. She sobbed into his chest unceasingly, hands clutching at his sweatshirt. 

“It will be over soon,” Tom promised. He was holding her in complete silence, slowly rocking her as her tears soaked his chest. He weaved his fingers through her long locks of hair, hushing her with his soft voice. He kissed the top of her head.

When the doctor had come back to the room (nearly three hours later), she was very pleased to find that she had made some progression. She had dilated nearly four centimeters. She said that she would come back to check up on her in a few hours. She left the room once again. 

Now Tom was leaning back against the hospital bed with his heavily pregnant wife laying in his arms. He could feel her back pressing against his chest, practically leaning into his soft touch. He had shifted his hands towards the sides of her stomach, rubbing her stomach in a soothing manner. 

“You can do this, darling. Just breath,” Tom whispered upon feeling her body tense in his grasp. Her contractions were starting to get longer, stronger, and closer together. She was accumulating a thin layer of sweat on her forehead from the pain that she was going through. She released a strangled moan.

At one point, Tom had slipped out of the bed. He was currently sitting on the chair beside her bed. He had gone to get some ice chips for her. He was now feeding them to her upon request. He smiled at her silly behavior.

A few hours later, the doctor had come back into the room. She was sure to check the vitals on the monitor for her and her baby, coming to the conclusion that everything was completely normal. She had also found that she had dilated to seven centimeters, which meant that she would be able to start pushing soon. She had left the room to prepare for the birth. 

The three nurses entered the private room in blue scrubs. The nurses had brought some various pieces of equipment that would help with the birth. The nurses had started to organize some things for when the time came for the baby to be born. 

They had placed these two leg-holders on either side of the bed. The nurse had begun to explain the whole process. She said that they were going to count to ten during the contraction. This was the prime time for her to push. Once they got to ten seconds, she would be able to stop pushing for a short break between contractions. The baby would come out much quicker this way.

She had dilated ten centimeters! She had been in labor for nearly twelve hours before it was finally time to push the baby out. Her legs were placed in the two holders on the side of her bed, putting her in the perfection position. Her husband had been given a cover to wear over his clothes so he wouldn’t contaminate anything. He was now standing right beside her, holding her hand the entire time. 

“Alright. You are going to start pushing now,” the doctor had encouraged her. She lifted her head to look at her patient, nodding her head in approval. She started to count to ten for her.

In that moment, Y/N had forced herself to push as hard as she could with the little energy she had left. She could feel the intense pain streaming through every single cell in her body. She came to the end of ten seconds. She dropped back down into the bed, dreading this whole process. 

It had been nearly two hours since she had started pushing during her contractions. With each contraction came a pain that dominated her entire being. In those moments, for those seconds that stretched into infinity, there was nothing else. She didn’t care if other patients could hear her screaming from other rooms. 

When the pain passed, it was only for a minute or so. She was trying to catch her breath with closed eyes. She was unwilling to re-engage with life outside of her own body. She couldn’t even focus on her husband standing beside her, encouraging her with forehead kisses and sweet words. 

The doctor was telling her that is was time to push again. With a guttural grun,t she did so and was told to stop. It was just enough. She had felt the baby crowning, but she held her breath. Without any further effort, the newborn baby had slipped into the doctor’s hands. The doctor was quick to wrap the baby in a soft blanket. 

The newborn baby had taken a deep breath only to release this loud cry of protest. The baby had been covered in this mixture of a white waxy substance and some small specs of blood. The newborn was quickly cleaned with the soft blanket by the doctor. 

“It’s a boy,” the doctor exclaimed.

The new mother could feel her eyes turn glossy with tears. Through her exhaustion, she can manage a small smile. She did not hesitate to look at the baby that was being brought to lay on her bare skin of her chest. She begins to cry the sweetest tears she has ever known, She felt the painful moments leading up to this slowly melting away. 

At the sight of the baby, Tom had burst into tears of joy and happiness. He didn’t even seem to care that his hand had been practically crushed in hers during the last two hours. He only cared about his beautiful wife and his newborn son at the given moment.

In that moment, Tom was able to cut the umbilical cord with a pair of scissors. He had turned his head to look back towards his loving wife and son. He could feel his heart swelling one hundred times in his chest, growing more at the mere sight of his loved ones. Leaning down, Tom was able to get a better look at the baby. He was quick to cradle the back of the baby boy’s head, pressing a soft kiss to his head. He couldn’t stop smiling. 

The baby was so light. His head was burrowing into his mother’s chest, feeling the warmth of her body so comforting. His tiny toes were peeking out from the blanket. His head was a mass of brown waves that would match his father’s looks. The baby had opened his mouth to cry, but he could only manage a quiet snuffling sound. His throat must have been dry and sore.

“He’s so beautiful,” Y/N smiled. She had shifted to newborn baby closer against her chest, bringing him in closer to her face. She had brushed the back of her face against the baby’s chubby cheek. She kissed his soft head. 

“He’s absolutely perfect,” Tom agreed. He had turned his head to look at his dear wife laying beside him. He pushed her sticky and sweaty hair away from her forehead, kissing her in such a loving manner. “I love you so much. I am so proud of you,” Tom confessed with a bright smile on his face.

With great hesitation, the new mother had handed her baby boy to the nurses so that they could clean him and check on him. The nurses had only brought the newborn baby to the small table on the other side of the room because they had all of the necessary equipment with them. 

During the whole checkup, Tom was carefully watching the three nurses from the sidelines. He was still standing next to his wife’s beside, but he was watching them from the short distance. He could see that they were just weighing and measuring him at the moment.

“Go see him,” she encouraged him. She could tell that he wanted to be there. He wanted to stand beside the three nurses, watching his baby boy in a protective manner. He wanted to spend every single second with that newborn. He just wanted to hold his baby boy and he never wanted to let go.

Hesitantly, Tom had shuffled across the small stretch of the room. He stood beside the nurses. He had lowered his gaze to stare down at the little naked baby on the surface of the table. The soft pink baby was crying so loud and hard. His bottom lip was trembling in its place. His hands were balled into tight fists. And his eyes were still squeezes shut.

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here,” Tom said. 

Upon hearing these words, the baby boy had stopped crying in a split second. He had popped his eyes open. He had turned his head to look directly towards the sound of his own father’s voice, recognizing the tone. His cheeks were stained with these fresh salty tears. His warm brown eyes were just gazing up into his fathers’.

The nurses were quick to swaddle the silent baby, wrapping him in this light blue blanket. They placed this blue hat on his little head to cover his dark locks of hair. The one nurse was very careful to lift the newborn baby into her arms. The nurse had turned her body towards the new father standing beside her, handing the baby boy to him.

“Do you want to hold him?” the nurses wondered. In response, Tom was gently handed his own son. He was holding him very cautiously and carefully, fearing that he might break him because he was just so little. He never tore his eyes away from the baby boy in his arms. He walked back to the beside.

The newborn baby had come into the world after fourteen hard hours of labor. He was five pounds and four ounces. He was also one full week late. He was born at 8:14am on June 3rd. 

The new parents were both currently laying on the hospital bed in the private room. The two of them were staring down at the baby in complete admiration. They had turned their heads to look at each other, leaning forward to share a kiss. They could feel their love for each other growing stronger with each passing minute. They never wanted this happy moment to end. 

“Welcome to the world, Thomas Stanley Holland Jr.”

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #baby holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland series

[breakingsomething]

french toast

basic summary: jameson makes breakfast.

trigger warnings: read the tags! i was worried putting the warnings here would spoil the fic, so look in the tags if you want to know :)

the sun came up the same every morning. five am exactly, jameson knew. time was something he was intimately familiar with in a way he couldn't explain. it ran through his veins with his blood. it rang in his ears every second of the day. it burned in his fingers and warmed every tear that he spilled. he owned it. there wasn't another man living who was as powerful as he was.

and nobody knew it but him.

it was far too cold in the bed. jameson couldn't feel anti beside him. that wasn't unusual, or normally wouldn't be, except for the fact that it was very early and he knew anti hadn't gone to bed until just past two. he'd heard him having a nightmare at twenty past three. after that he'd gone silent, and jameson had properly slept. now, he sat up, blinking and rubbing his eyes, adjusting to the empty, slowly lightening room. he wished they has curtains, but he supposed beggars couldn't be choosers when it came to a situation like theirs.

looking around, it made him wonder what the creator's boys were doing right now. probably all still sleeping, maybe eating food that they hadn't stolen or fought tooth and nail for. maybe when they woke, they'd take a shower without worrying about the hot water bill for a house not registered under their name. maybe they'd dress in clothes they picked out themselves. maybe they'd spend the day thinking of pastries and youtube videos and magic and jewelry and whatever else people thought of. not a thought to be spared for anyone else. jameson almost snorted at the thought.

his bare feet padded to the door, the silence almost deafening. his heart raced in his ears. a-n-t-i? he knocked on the doorframe, to which he got no response. probably for the best. definitely for the best. gave jameson a bit more time.

he went over to the cupboard and quickly pulled on some proper clothes, a blue hoodie and black tracksuit bottoms with mismatched socks that had holes at the top. drank some water that he'd left on his bedside. then he pulled out something that he'd hidden in between his sketchbook pages and slipped it in his pocket, along with something else that he'd hidden in his shoes. just as precautions. eventually, he went to the bathroom and quickly brushed his hair with his fingers before slowly making his way downstairs.

anti was sitting at the kitchen table. he didn't look up when jameson came in, though; he was slumped over with his face in his arms, whistling softly in his sleep. jameson wasn't used to seeing him in just a t-shirt, and for a moment he just stared at his ink black tattoos, marred by raised pink scars from an event jameson hadn't been around to witness, which he was grateful for. anti's hair was getting long too, falling in curls around his freckled face. right now, it was almost hard to look at him and see him as a manipulative murderer, a torturer, an actor and a kidnapper and a liar and a thief. but jameson knew he was. he always had been.

he wished he could have seen it earlier.

he made breakfast. he'd managed to convince anti that he wanted to try his hand at cooking, and his brother had relented after just a few days of begging for ingredients. eggs, vanilla extract, yoghurt and berries - french toast was on the menu this morning. by the time anti had slowly begun to stir, the scent had filled the warm kitchen, making the house that wasn't theirs feel so much more cosy. anti yawned, shaking his arms out and wincing. jameson watched him with a raised eyebrow and a soft smile, waiting for his brother to notice him.

it took a moment before he did. "oh - morning, dap," anti mumbled, scrubbing sleep from his eyes. "what the fuck're you… it's, like, six am, shouldn't even you still be asleep?"

jameson grinned, holding up the two plates he'd already set up and placing the left one proudly in front of anti. "toast," he signed as soon as he had both hands free. "french toast. also, i'm an early bird. figured i'd use my time well."

he sat at the table and slid a fork across the table to a surprised anti, who caught it and stared down at his plate in amazement. "you absolute mad lad, dapper," he grinned, brown eyes flashing. "i knew it was a good idea to let you buy all that shit."

that was bullshit. anti hadn't wanted to buy it at all, and jameson had had to behave perfectly to his older brother's standards in order to get it. like a dog being rewarded with a treat. jameson bit his lip hard and didn't respond, forcing a smile onto his face.

they dug in, the two of them eating in relative silence as a conversation was difficult to have when one party couldn't speak without their hands. jameson tapped the edge of his plate with his fork, the sound ringing out in the quiet. his hoodie pocket felt suddenly very heavy, despite it now being lighter than before.

"doing anything today?" he asked once he'd eaten a few bites, setting the fork down at the side. he didn't feel very hungry. anti bobbed his head and held up a hand while he swallowed, coughing into his hand immediately after.

"i have to go shopping soon, actually," he said, drumming his fingers on the table to a tune jameson didn't recognize. "do we need anything specific? i can definitely get more of this shit if we need any, ha. i know we need, uhh… fuck, my head hurts and i don't remember shit." he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. "d'you know, dap? anything important?"

jameson waited for anti to remember that he wouldn't be able to hear his brother's reply and sheepishly open his eyes before responding. "i don't think we'll need anything. as far as i'm aware, it's all taken care of."

anti furrowed his brows, frowning. "i'm sure we… needed something. i dunno what it was." he yawned again, shivering. "christ, it's gotten dead cold in here. and for some reason, i'm still tired as shit."

"why'd you sleep down here?" jameson asked. might as well ask. anti did love to talk about himself.

it took the man a moment to respond, and when he did, his voice was slightly slurred. "had a weird fuckin' dream, didn't wanna be 'round you. was gonna sleep on the couch, but i came in here for water 'n i fell 'sleep…" he suddenly coughed again, doubling over and covering his face. when he sat up again, he had gone very pale, hair sticking to his face with sweat. "shit, i don't… don't feel well, what th'fuck…"

this time when he coughed, his hands came away from his mouth red. "fuck!" he swore, trying to stagger to his feet. but his legs gave out beneath him and he crumpled to the floor, gasping and wheezing. "fuck, fuck, i'm - dap, help me up, shit!"

jameson watched calmly from his place at the table. anti looked up with desperate eyes that widened as he saw his brother's blank expression, pupils dilating to pinpricks. "dap?" he rasped, retching with a hand clamped over his mouth. "wh-what the fuck did you -"

"a-r-s-e-n-i-c," jameson signed with a smile. his movements were smooth and deliberate in comparison to anti's pained thrashing. "i went classic. there was enough in there to kill a man in half an hour, i'd say. i'm surprised you didn't taste it. you may be experiencing nausea and vomiting, muscle cramps, dizziness, abnormal heart rhythm, sudden convulsions…"

he trailed off, smirking as anti clawed at his throat, gasping for breath and gagging. jameson wasn't even sure the man could see his signs anymore. "y-you fucking - you poisoned me?" anti stammered, wrapping his arms round his stomach and paling even further. "christ, well, that's a first -"

jameson grimaced in disgust as anti threw up without warning, still coughing afterwards. "gross," the time traveler signed, screwing up his face. "die with a little dignity, anti."

anti looked up in time to catch the last few words, although by this point jameson supposed his vision had blurred enough that he couldn't see very well. nevertheless, he managed to sit himself up, wiping spit off his chin. "you want me - why the fuck d'you want me dead?" he managed. his arm twitched wildly, and he gasped in pain. jameson watched him clutch at the counter, trying to pull himself up. "i g-gave you everything, you unappreciative shit, what is wrong with - you f-fucking -"

he suddenly spasmed, and jameson sighed. "oh dear," he signed, despite anti not being able to see him. "it appears you've reached the stage of convulsing and seizures. that's not good, especially with your epilepsy, is it?"

anti choked, and jameson laughed without noise, pulling his phone from his pocket and quickly typing into the text to speech box. he wanted anti to hear what he had to say. "you say you gave me everything," the monotone male voice spoke. "then why am i always in pain? why are you always hurting me, one way or another? why do you treat me like i'm less than you?"

"i - love you, you b-b-bastard," anti gasped, stopping to cry out in pain as he convulsed. "i do, tha-that's nottalie, swear, swear, stop it, stop -"

jameson had finished typing his next lines by that point. "you always say you love me but you don't fucking show it. buying me sketchbooks and ingredients for meals doesn't count as love." his fingers flew across the keyboard. "love is not hurting someone just because you want to. love is not demeaning someone and making them feel small and worthless. love is not stepping on someone to elevate yourself. love is not hurt. love is not you."

"no, no, no," anti mumbled, curling up on the floor, hissing through his teeth. "i - i - you don't underst-t-tand - protect, trying to protect, ah, ah, nngh, i'm - dap -"

"and there's another thing," the voice said cooly. "my name isn't dapper. it's jameson jackson. you don't notice anything, do you, anti? this wasn't a sudden rebellion."

"a li'l p-poison isn't gonna kill me," anti laughed hoarsely.

jameson stood. "no," he signed. "but this will."

he pulled the other item from his pocket, slowly, so anti could take it in. he smirked as his brother's breath hitched at the sight of the silver kitchen knife, reflecting the light from the window above the counter. the reaction was so satisfying to watch.

"y-you're gonna stab m-me, eh?" anti tried to laugh again, but it came out more like a weak whimper. he retched again, head slamming against the wall as he twitched. "f-feels like it's f-fitting that you'd b-be - be the one to kill me. if anyone did, you-you're not - the worst choice."

jameson rolled his eyes. "sure." then he leaned down and pressed his knife to anti's bandaged throat. "anything else to say?"

anti was still shaking, blood dribbling from his mouth. but his eyes, flickering from colour to colour and eventually coming to rest on grey to match his brothers, were full of an emotion that jameson didn't understand. "didn't mean to - you - i -" he threw his head back, whimpering with pain. "b-b-bastard, i - fuck -"

jameson didn't let him get any further.

once it was over, jameson slumped back against the kitchen cupboards, staring off into the living room with unfocused eyes. he'd done it. why didn't he feel happier, more free? why did he feel more trapped than ever?

his hands were red.

he washed them. ten times over. then he took a shower and changed his clothes. he stared at his reflection for a full half hour, lost in thought, hands shaking as his nails dug into his palm.

anti was still on the floor when he went back downstairs. fuck, best get rid of him. jameson crouched down next to him and pressed a hand to his brother's chest. with closed eyes, he let the magic channel through him, burning his skin, burning anti's skin, crushing him under the weight of time itself. several minutes passed, and by the end of it, anti's body was gone. eaten away, dissolved.

jameson didn't feel lighter. really, he felt so much heavier. like he'd gone swimming in a full denim outfit. like he'd gone swimming with rocks in his pockets. like he'd - like he'd just killed his brother. there was no sugarcoating it.

it had felt good. jameson had never been more disgusted with himself.

what would he do now? there was no where else to turn. no one else to go to. except - jameson narrowed his eyes. no one else but the creator's boys. the one's who'd called themselves his brothers. the one's who'd left him with anti. they'd left him with anti, they'd left him with - they'd left him here. they'd been too fucking cowardly to come save him.

jameson picked up the knife from the place anti's body had been. maybe he had something he could do after all. loose ends to tie up. more brothers to put in their places.

his hands weren't red anymore. they felt red.

jameson's french toast had gone cold.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #this is not canon in my lore!! i would like to make that clear!!! this is just another dumb oneshot that will NOT turn into an au my god #no more aus for reina #poison tw #death tw #stabbing tw