#and yet for a period of time i felt the need to tag any mention of my dad these polls are SO fucking enlightening

[ncteez]

my love ⭐️ i love you 🫵☺️ congratulations on 6k, you are so wonderful and amazing and, yes, i love you. i’ll say it again, i love you (aggressive 🤬) u don’t have to do this one bc can i request cheol and prompt #13? IF NOT, i will take the spotify playlist instead <3

(ngl, i forgot the number as soon as i entered ur ask box, but it was like “you can take it, you’ve done it before” hehe)

AGAIN, congratulations and i love u, my favorite person ever

seungcheol + “You can take it, you’ve done it before”

wordcount: 3.9k

tags: huge dick!seungcheol, fuck buddy scenario, he’s super cocky and not the soft boyfriend we want him to be, the one where he was a hook up and now he won’t stop calling at three in the morning, he might be a little possessive and competitive, desperate! desperate! desperate!, reader is very sex-positive and also a sarcastic little goblin, mentions of vernon eating u out while on call with seungcheol lmaoooooo, seungcheol uses vernon in dirty talk lmao, smut (fuck around and find out).

note: i wrote this entirely with you in mind sar, ilysm, i hope u love this as much as i love u & hope u don’t mind that i made vernon a core point of the plot.  not proof read.

~

The Friday night from two weeks ago didn’t cross your mind too often because you’re not too often thinking about the dudes you’ve gone home with from the bar. Given, that was mistake number one. 

Seungcheol, apparently, doesn’t do “hook-ups”. What he does do, according to his texts, is acquire fuck buddies. That’s fine with you, absolutely and totally okay. Mostly because you have at least three other dudes texting you for some late-night release and all of them are equally as hot as Seungcheol, at the very least. 

You guess you just didn’t expect him to ever text again, especially after a two week period. 

Mistake number two was answering his call while Vernon (aka fuck buddy #1), was actively going down on you. It’s not entirely that it was a mistake, if anything it was incredibly arousing to answer that phone and hear Seungcheol on the other line tugging at himself while Vernon was down there flicking his tongue on all of the right spots to get you there at least three times faster than usual. Of course, to Vernon, he maybe thought it was a friend or family member calling, and that maybe it was a game where you needed to be quiet while he intentionally tried to make you moan as much as possible. 

He was a little shocked hearing how loud you were over the phone, internally panicking at the last minute and lunging up to hang the phone up for you while also forcing you to come down from an impending orgasm. Upon realizing it was Seungcheol (aka fuck buddy #?) his confidence was shot down just a little bit. Of course, you boosted his ego right back up by praising, complementing, and giving him the best head of his life. 

Where was the mistake in any of that? It was hot. You loved it, and even Vernon was slightly on board with the idea of fucking you while letting you get other people off over the phone. At least, that was after he got off a couple of times and felt all soft and appreciative of you. 

The mistake was Seungcheol texting you about hanging up when he was close. 

Again, it’s not like you were expecting him to ever call you back after two weeks of radio silence, better yet in the midst of Vernon doing what he did best. 

You could argue that answering the phone at all was a bad idea, and you have no excuse for that, but at least Seungcheol got a little competitive when you explained why the phone was hung up, and who hung up on him. 

“So, you’re not the one who hung up on me?” Seungcheol asks in a slightly annoyed voice. “Anyone could see that you were enjoying yourself as much as I was.”

“Well–”

“Was he afraid I’d get you off first without so much as being in the room?”

“I just think that he–” 

“Does he want you all to himself or?”

“Seungcheol,” You raise your voice a bit, looking around the room and confirming that Vernon has definitely already left. 

Given, Seungcheol called like fourteen times in the span of finishing up your respective orgasms with the messy boy, you weren’t shocked that he answered on the first ring when you called him back.

“What? I’m right.”

“Well, no. You’re not actually.” You respond, rolling your eyes. “Vernon didn’t even know it was someone I fucked until after he hung up on you. He doesn’t want me all to himself, and he definitely wasn’t afraid you’d get me off first.”

Silence.

“You haven’t shown interest since the first and only time we met up, i’m a little confused as to why you’re spamming my phone like some weirdo.” You trail off a bit, and he speaks. 

“Um, because I’m horny?” He answers nonchalantly. “You can’t say you haven’t thought about seeing me again.”

“I can say that, actually. But I wouldn't entirely be opposed to it if you stop trying to go to war with the other people I see.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t competitive until now. You have to admit it’s kind of fun–”

“Yeah. I can admit that.”

More silence for a moment before you hear shuffling on your end. 

“So, were those moans for him or for me?”

You pause, a cheeky smile forming on your lips. It’s not normal for your fuck buddies to know about each other outside of being aware that the other exists, but, like, you don’t know. It was really hot to hear Seungcheol groaning and fucking his fist while Vernon was doing his thing on you. 

“Both of you.”

Seungcheol hums, pleased. 

“I’ll have to try harder next time then, make you forget he’s even touching you.”

“Next time?” You laugh, yawning out the post-orgasm drowsiness. 

“Or you can just come over, we both know you wouldn’t need us both to feel that good.” 

A direct hit to the confidence you just gagged yourself to give back to Vernon. You will never tell him about the competition that seems to be boiling up with Seungcheol, after all, there’s a reason Vernon is number one, and Seungcheol is only just now becoming a face you’ll see more than once.

“I didn’t realize how confident you are about that, is that a promise?”

“Also a threat.” He laughs, seemingly finished with the conversation before letting out a sigh. “I’ll call you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.”

~

Man, did he fucking call. A lot. Usually too late into the night or too early into the morning for you to be aware and aware of his need to get off. Does he ever sleep, actually? 

This time though, it’s around ten at night when you get his call and you pick it up for him happily.

“Finally, you call when I’m awake.” 

A breathy chuckle. 

“You gonna come over or are you just gonna argue?” 

You’re going over, fucking obviously. Like, lightening speed going over because even though you’ve only been with him once, you can remember how good he made it feel for you. 

“I’ll text when I get there,” You start, narrowing your eyes at yourself in the mirror. “You’re not gonna make me call him while I’m with you, right?”

“I might.” He says, and you can practically hear that fucking grin on his face.

“I’m not doing that.”

Another breathy fucking chuckle. 

“Did you forget last time? Felt so good I think you would’ve burned a building down if I asked you to.”

That’s fair, but also incredibly unfair for him to bring up. 

“You’re so annoying.” You say, shaking your head and slipping on your shoes. 

“Well, you’re the one on your way to come sit on me, so…”

Again, that’s fair, but it doesn’t stop you from hanging up on him, and him sitting in his room laughing about how much you very clearly want to see him again, but seem to love arguing. 

By the time you get there, he’s ready, Like, so fucking ready. Between reminding himself of how you looked the only time he’s ever been between your legs, to the way you sounded through a muffled speaker while some loser-ass dude was eating you out– yeah, that got to him in so many ways. The fact that you answered the phone while it was happening was one thing, an incredibly hot thing, but the fact that you answered for him at all after so long of no contact was another. 

It’s not like he forgot about you or anything, it’s just that maybe on that night his first option was busy, and so was his second option, and you, his third option, was very busy but still let him in on the pleasure you were feeling. 

Maybe, just maybe, you set yourself up to become his number one that night. He had to get with you again. Possibly to prove to himself that he could be your number one choice too, but mostly because the way you talk to him is fun.

It’s about sex most of the time, if any of your few conversations are to go by, but all of this makes him wonder how you act when you’re not horny. Not that it matters or anything, but still. You’re an interesting lay, and he’s excited to see you again. 

Either way, when you land those little knocks on his door and he rushes to open it. It’s almost like he entirely forgot what you looked like. You look insanely attractive right now to him, to the point that it’s a struggle to even step back and let you in through his door. It’s hard for him not to use his strength against you, rushing forward and making you sigh out his name against the plush grass on his lawn. 

Self control is something he was always proud of, and fuck you for ripping that away from him by so much as fucking other people and still showing up on his porch to let him have his turn. 

You look up at him, noting the way his hair falls in his face and his arms flex as he grips the door knob tightly upon seeing you. 

“Why do you look so fucking good right now?” He blurts, staring at you. 

“Probably because you’re horny?” You smile, taking a step forward and shoving past him without issue or resistance. 

That little shove though. Damn, his skin is on fire just from feeling your fingers pressed against his chest to move him out of your way. Probably because you’re moving him so you can get inside and be fucked. He senses eagerness in your own charade of calmness, turning to watch you bend over to slip off your shoes. 

“Go ahead and take the rest off too, while you’re at it.” He finally says, closing the door and leaning against the frame as he crosses his arms.

You look back at him with a chuckle, your eyes trailing down and noting the size of that thing in his pants. What, the, fuck. You actually managed to forget that you nearly had to do breathing exercises the last time he slid his cock into you. It’s not even an issue, because you really did love to feel as full as he made you. You’re just shocked that you let that slip your fucking mind. 

“Jesus,” You sigh, standing up straight and kicking your shoes out of the way. This time you reach for the hem of your shirt as you walk to him, lifting it above your head and discarding it on the floor as well. “Did you get bigger, or?” You add, instantly grabbing his length beneath his loose sweat pants and gripping it.

The way you nearly see his eyes cross makes you smile wider as you massage him there for a moment. 

“I’ll go ahead and let you think that,” He smiles after the feeling of your hand on him settles within his aroused gut. “Miss me?” He whispers now, pushing his hips forward against your hand so you can feel it twitch in your palm. 

You’d say no, because there wasn’t much to miss outside of the sex, which you were getting elsewhere. But, seeing him now, yeah, you think you’ll at least miss him once you go home.

He notes your small nod before stepping up closer. His chest is right up against you as he looks down at you, eyes fanning over your face and realizing that this time, he’s really going to fuck you. Like, he’s going to give it his all, if anything, just to become your favorite. 

“Come on then,” He smiles, reaching for your hand and pulling it away from himself before guiding you to the room you’ve already been in once before.

It’s the exact same as it was save for different sheets, but your stomach bubbles more than it did that time with him. 

The removal of clothes is quick and mostly unnnoticed, if anything it was just an annoyance to get that part out of the way. 

And then, he’s doing what he does best, sitting back against his headboard, spreading his legs, and patting the bed between them. You’d assume he wants head but no. No, no. He wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling your back right up against his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder. 

You feel his hands trail down, no teasing, no playing around. He goes straight to your clit and uses his other hand to spread one of your legs wide open. 

“Did his tongue do this?” He asks, swirling two fingers around your clit before sliding them up and down your folds.

You’re not surprised that he’s playing off of the Vernon thing, so you play along too. Feeling his fingers work their magic on you as you lean your head back on his shoulder and continue to listen to him talk. 

“Was he eager for it? Grabbing your legs and drooling all over himself?”

You hum out of approval at his words, because you damn right that’s what Vernon does and he’s fucking good at it too. 

“I fucking bet he was,” Seungcheol sighs softly against your neck, leaving a warm spot from his breath as he continues to slip his fingers up and down your pussy. He does this for a while, remaining silent and only listening to how wet you get, how swollen your clit becomes. “Did you get this wet for him too?” 

You nod again, relishing in the experience of his slow fingers working their magic on you, but then his fingers stop right at your clit and he shifts behind you. 

“Can’t have that.” He says, pushing his hips against your back and sliding his fingers down, plunging two of them into you in one go while holding you there against him. 

It’s not the feeling of his fingers that turns you on in that moment, it’s the speed of which he plunges them into you and the direct denial of you being just as wet for someone else. Why? You don’t know, but the dynamic is fun considering there is no strings attached at the end of the day, and if he wants to compete in terms of turning you on, you’re more than willing to participate in such an act. 

You can feel his effort with the way he curls his fingers, searching for that spot inside of you that Vernon finds with ease considering how many times he’s been inside of you. Seungcheol, only having touched you once before this, never expected to need your pleasure before his own until now. 

He watches from behind you. A little tremble of the legs, a small moan– he needs your body to react now as he continues to rub his fingers inside of you. And then, right there he feels you squeeze your legs around his hand, your own hands shooting to his wrist as if to still his movements. 

“That it?” He smiles, now putting more force behind what his fingers are doing and rendering you near useless as he continues to work you up. “Didn’t know you would be so sensitive here, listen to it, you’re dripping now.”

He’s going on his little ego boost, enjoying himself, as you sit against him and practically spiral into a world of sex-crazed sensitivity. His fingers hit that spot each time, causing your belly to sear with a burn of pleasure that you can’t help but shake and tremble at the feeling. He’s right, you’re dripping. You can feel it run down your ass, you can feel it against his sheets when you try to lift up for more, only to try and run away from it a moment later. 

And then, there comes the sounds. 

There is no clit stimulation to be had here, and you’re shocked at our your body forces sounds out of you. You could hold your breath, but the sound would only come out even more desperate as his never once stutters in pace.

And by the time he can feel your legs swing open, offering him full reign of your pussy, he straightens out his fingers and fucks them so deeply into you that you’re actually sighing from relief. No words can explain how good it feels, so you don’t try. 

“Come on,” He says between the sounds of his palm hitting your pussy with each inward fuck, “listen to how wet I’m making you.” 

You couldn’t avoid listening even if you wanted to, the sound squelching against the walls. You’re embarrassingly wet, except you’re not embarrassed at all. He’s doing exactly what he intended to do. The only thing is, you didn’t exactly see Seungcheol as the type to ask you to listen to your own sounds, reminding you that they’re for him. Asking you to admit it through more of those sounds, through more of that arousal dripping out of you.

You’ll never forgive yourself for letting him go that two weeks without calling you. 

“You want me to like you more so bad,” You manage to say in a snide way, despite the moan that comes out after. “What about you? You gonna go another two weeks without doing this to me? Giving it to someone else just to boost your ego?”

The way his fingers halt all movements and his cock twitches against your back at those cocky little words. God, you’re just like him. Perfect.

“Why, you want me to call you the next time someone goes down on me so you can make sure I don’t moan as good as I would with you?”

“Maybe,” You smile, fucking your hips forward on his fingers. “Seems to me like you’re into that, anyway.” 

“I am now.” He says, watching the way you fuck yourself against his fingers without shame or embarrassment.

Why wouldn’t you be his number one anyway? 

“Fuck, look at you.” He groans, feeling your back moving against his cock all while chasing the pleasure of his fingers. “You want to be filled so bad.”

Damn right you do. 

“Yeah?” He asks to your silence, taking back over with his fingers for a brief moment before pulling them out and loving how it still drips down his palm. 

You nod silently, letting your legs relax and fall open wide as he shifts behind you. You can feel his hands rub against your waist and urge you to lift. Instantly, you do, because again, you definitely want to be filled up by now, and he’s looking like the best person for the job. 

On your knees, you practically let yourself fall forward so that you can present yourself to him. Face down, ass up. He loves it, quickly grabbing a pillow from behind him and nudging you with it. 

You accept the kind offer and a pillow before he, ultimately, will fuck you into the next dimension. And that’s exactly what he intends to do. 

You’re so wet by now that he can see your pussy pulsing when he grabs his length in his hand, wincing at the sensitivity and ignoring how pathetically heavy it feels in his hand. He knows the relief he’s about to get is going to him him like a ton of fucking bricks, and he doesn’t care. This is the point of seeing you again, after all.

Once again, you forgot. The head of his cock slips between your folds and instantly you’re sighing out of relief and panic. Surely you’re wet enough that the slide will be easier than it was last time. Surely you can handle this.

Except you can’t. At least not immediately. 

He slides in about two inches before he feels your body go frigid. He lands a soothing palm against your lower back when he pauses, struggling not to slam into you all at once. 

“Relax–” He comments, out of breath himself and rubbing your lower back even more. 

He feels the walls of your pussy clench, and clench, and fucking clench, until finally it relaxes around him.

“There you go,” He smirks from behind you, pressing in a bit more and releasing a moan at the way you tense up again. His cock wildly twitches as your pussy hugs only half of his length. Your moan comes out whiny, and he watches the way you bury your face into the pillow. 

He rubs again against your back, encouraging you to relax.

“You can take it,” He says sweetly, pushing past the way you clench around him and pressing in further. “you’ve done it before.” He continues, listening to you pant into his pillow and resist the urge to pull away from him. 

“Goddamn, so good.” He compliments you upon bottoming out. He can feel your body adjust to him and it’s entirely overstimulating, still, he pushes past the feeling and holds himself in place. “Taking all of it like this, shit.”

He struggles not to call you pet names at this moment, opting instead to continue that massage against your lower back until your walls unclench and ultimately, move yourself against him. The moan he lets out this time is ungodly, and it’s like that one movement from you unleashes his control and in an instant he’s pulling out and slamming back in again.

The room that was just small pants and moans has now become that of the sound of slapping, moaning, and practically crying out of pleasure. 

You can’t help the feeling inside of you, a specific type of feral that drives you to meet his hips each time he fucks in, and moan each time his cock hits that same spot his fingers were toying with earlier. That hand on your back helps none by now, as you continuously feel yourself be stretched open by him.

He fucks so deeply, so roughly, and you can’t help but love the difference now between him and Vernon. Which, yeah, Vernon is great with his cock but you’re usually the one riding him to high hell. Seungcheol is really giving it to you right now, making sure you feel every inch, every twitch, every goddamn vein that pulses against your g-spot. 

You really can’t help it, when you lift up entirely, forcing that hand on your back to wrap around your middle, up until that same hand grips your tit and he’s sinking lower on his knees to fuck up inside of you. 

You stay like that, reaching your arms behind him and pulling his head forward, up against your ear as your entire body shakes at each thrust. There, he talks, and he talks, and he doesn’t fucking shut up. You don’t want him to.

His voice is raspy, out of breath, and super deep. It wasn’t like this the first time you fucked him, and maybe that’s because neither of you felt entirely too desperate for the other. Right now though? With him pleading for you to bend back over, but still holding you tightly against his chest? You know it’s because it slows his pace down, and he wants to fuck hard right now. 

“No,” You smile through a moan as he slides in and out of you. “I can feel it more like this.”

That alone is enough for him. He wants you to feel all of him. He wants you to be the one calling when you’re horny. 

“Call him,” Seungcheol rasps out, not once stuttering his pace as he continues to plunge himself deep into you. “It’s only fair.”

And you know, if your phone wasn’t across the room with the rest of your clothes, maybe you would.

~

#seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #[sleepover] #[seungcheol]

[kiragecko]

cherrystainedknuckles

I guess the only problem with being asked to take a “marie kondo approach” is that in order to find any fanfic that appears to be based in actual canon timeline and plot points and characterization (which does exist, and I’m not sure why fanon fans seem insistent that it doesn’t), I literally have to search for hours. I’m not joking, I consistently make fic rec lists, and I have to search for hours and hours for actual canonical basis. same thing with character tags on tumblr.

I’m not saying fanon fans have to stop enjoying fanon or making up their own content. I’m just saying that when the tags used for both fanon tim drake and canon tim drake are the same tag it just becomes incredibly annoying sometimes, and I understand why people who like to engage with canon (me, often) become frustrated

-

I have definitely had periods where I got incredibly frustrated with fanon! Around 2019, I was wondering if I needed to leave the Batfandom, because it had been so long since I read a new fic where the characters felt 'right'.

-

But, if you're willing to, I'd like you to consider what you mean when you divide 'fanon' from 'canon'. Because I struggle to find a hard line between the two, for several reasons:

1. Fandom is transformative. Every fanfic is going to have some interpretation of the source material. The line between what is too much interpretation and what is acceptable is different for every person. For me, I find it can even vary based on writing style or other odd things - lighthearted fic can have more noncanonical stuff in it than heavier fic, and still seem true to canon.

2. 'Canon' is subjective. I do not consider the movies or video games to be 'canon', and it annoys me when things from those creep into the fic I'm reading. (I'm okay with SOME Battinson.) Some aspects of the cartoons are okay. I consider precrisis Jason Todd to be an alternate reality version, but Donna's precrisis origins are more canonical than the dumb retcons. Wayne Family Adventures isn't my main version of the characters, but I'm not bothered if some elements show up in my stories. I'm ignoring most of the nu52, but I like Duke and I'm still watching this new Lian to see what happens. I doubt your divisions are identical to mine.

(Also, some things that I think of as 'fanon' have shown up in nu52 canon! I do not accept them as any more canon because of this.)

3. Most 'fanon' is based on canon. Canon Tim has weird sleep habits. 90s Dick is really lighthearted and joking around some characters in ways similar to fanon. Dick can canonically not be trusted to take care of himself if his mental health gets low enough. Jason likes classical literature. Etc.

These are exaggerated and/or twisted in a lot of fic, but where is the line where they stop being canon? I wouldn't bat an eye at a lot of this stuff, if it didn't show up SO OFTEN.

4. Most 'fanon fans' do know some canon. What line are you going to set where it will be 'enough'. And are they allowed to mention parts of the canon they haven't read yet? Is anyone allowed to talk about Dick's early Robin days, or only the tiny amount of people who have read the golden age stuff? A lot of the 'mistakes' I see are obviously made by people who have read ABOUT canon, but don't know quite how it fits together.

5. 'Canon' is FULL of contradictions. Yes, there are canon events. Yes, there is characterization that is consistent across 3/4s of comics. But. I'm still working on my sidekick timeline. I've devoted days to figuring out ages and passage of time. I've spent over a decade trying to figure out Jason Todd's motivations, and why Tim treats him the way he does. I've read all the 90s and early 2000s CANONICAL character assassination of Jason.

I spent years thinking that Donna's death was almost as foundational as Jason's, only to later discover that I had just happened to read the specific comics that focused on the fallout, and she only stayed dead for a short time. That happens to fans ALL THE TIME! We read a character summarizing an event we haven't directly read, and just accept it as what happened. But characters have biases, and not all writers care about accuracy.

-

I've read some Tim Drakes that I consider to be almost entirely 'fanon'. And quite a few that were so scarily 'canon' that I got chills. (Not all of which were similar to each other.) But the vast, vast majority have fallen somewhere in the middle.

I definitely do not want the responsibility of deciding which ones count as 'canon'! And I think I would strongly dislike anyone who tried to decide for me.

Being frustrated is logical, and I empathize. But the original post was about the impossible expectations some fans feel. The expectation to read thousands of comics, synthesize all the contradictions, and come to conclusions that match the 'true fans'. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to be complaining about.

If that's what some fans are experiencing, of course they're not going to want to engage with canon! There's no way for them to succeed, so why should they even try?

When you join THAT conversation to discuss your frustration about fanon, it strengthens that perception. When you call them 'fanon fans' it emphasizes their belief that you don't think they belong. And rather than trying to change, it's more likely that they'll double down. Canon is full of gatekeepers, so they'll avoid it.

#gatekeeping #fandom policing #fanon #canon vs fanon #usually don't do stuff like this anymore #I'm old and tired #but sometimes the words want to come out

[keegansgf]

"my angel, my paradise"

pt.2

pairing: Keegan P. Russ x fem! reader

word count: 2.2k

synopsis: You got injured enough to need a recuperation period. It's unsafe to leave you alone on Rorkes ghost hunt, so Keegan is left to watch over you.

tags: injured reader, comfort, coworkers/friends to lovers, fluff

A/N: My friend gave me the idea for this fic so thank you <3 I hope you guys enjoy this fic!

Having two more ghosts on the team has been easier for all of you. Logan and Hesh Walker may be good at what they do– but it never stops inevitable injuries during battles from happening. Three gunshot wounds to the thigh aren't enough to take you out, yet they're enough to decrease your performance until you recover. Being stuck laying on a thin cot didn't help stop your mind from wandering, now that you have time to think about your position. What if the federation gets one over your team? What if the team falls because of your own failure?

Your thoughts were cut short by the sound of doors opening– Elias and Keegan stood next to your cot, Keegan closer to the foot of it. He occasionally made comfortable eye contact with you. You could see Logan, Hesh, and Merrick outside the door's small window with their gear, fully armed. By the looks of it, they were heading out soon. Elias was here to fill you in on what you assume to be the same mission the rest of the ghosts were doing, which was nothing new– but why was Keegan here? You didn’t mind his presence– in fact, you welcome it. 

You and Keegan rarely have moments where you're alone, but when you both have the time, you have a few conversations about mundane or personal topics. He’s caught your eye the more you’ve gotten to know him. Underneath the cool, cold guy act, he loves dogs, music, and adventure. It almost felt like you were a teenage girl memorizing your high school crush's interests. You patiently listened to your check-in, taking in any new information so your return wouldn’t need much of a catch-up. Elias was about to finish his update.

“–It would be a dangerous idea to think about leaving a ghost alone, knowing Rorke is hunting us down. I'm leaving you with Keegan. I doubt an attack will happen here, or at least not now– But we can't take any chances, understood?" 

"Yes, sir." You responded. Thankfully, your question got answered without the need to ask. You were happy to get some more time with Keegan. It’s been a while since your last one-to-one talk with him.

"Good. If anything goes wrong, you both know basic escape protocol." With that, Elias walked out of the room, taking the rest of the team, leaving you and your coworker alone. Keegan isn’t much of a talker outside of missions, even with you. He’s always happy to listen to you rant about anything you like, no matter the topic. You and him are always in harmony, except for now, your own thoughts are taking over, stopping you from starting your usual conversations.

The silence was interrupted by the occasional buzz of the white LED lights, which served as the background noise for your mind to wander to those same worries earlier. They get louder the more you look at your bandaged wound. The fear of being a failure is something you’ve struggled to cope with– but it isn’t any easier when this affects your friends… your family. On your breaks,  you’re told stories about your coworkers' happy lives before the war started. Those stories were about hiking, sightseeing, and enjoying simple hobbies–  average things before the downfall of society. Maybe in another life, you and your friends live calmly and happily. You didn't notice your company taking notice of your distracted demeanor.

“Hey, you okay?” Keegan seemed to notice your spaced-out expression. The earlier mentioned harmony you shared included reading each other pretty easily. During the first few conversations you and he shared, you caught his interest too. Your mannerisms were what interested him the most. You were so expressive. He always paid close attention to how you would look up while recalling a memory, or how your eyebrows furrowed while bringing up something upsetting. He could tell your worries were related to your injury. It almost looked like you were creating another hole staring into your thigh by how hard you were staring at your bandages.

“Yeah, just a few thoughts circling my head. Nothing new.” You weren’t exactly lying, but you sure were minimizing. 

“If that were the case, I wouldn’t ask. You like to downplay a lot.” He caught on quickly. Keegan has always been observant– of his surroundings, situations, and even people. To your team, he’s been an older brother of sorts. Perhaps it was just the desire to seek some type of ‘family’ as comfort during a war. Something about the way Keegan interacts with you is far from a brother. It almost felt like he was more of a lover, something you wish was your reality. He works well on the field– but he’s more than a killing machine. He’s sweet and comforting, like a warm cup of hot chocolate on the coldest of winters. You glance at him and collect your thoughts to avoid scrambling your words.

“I’m just disappointed in myself, or disappointed that I got this injured.”

“Why is that?” Keegans' full attention is on you.

“It’s hard to ignore the feeling that you’ve failed your team when you’re... excluded. Even if it’s for recovery purposes.” You look up at the lights above your cot before continuing.

“I don’t want it to sound like I don’t believe in the ghosts, because I do– I just get worried about them, it’s even harder to process because they’ve been like one big family. I don’t want them to end up like this… or worse.” Keegan takes a moment to process your words before he thinks of a response. After around four seconds, he takes a deep breath and takes a seat at the edge of your cot.

“They’re going to be okay, y/n. Injuries aren’t some sort of weakness. Hell, I know you’ll recover quickly, but I need you to take the time to heal. You’ll be back out soon.” His tone was softer than usual– it’s the tone he uses when he’s alone with you. 

“Trust them the same way they trust you. If you’re able to come out alive, they’ll be okay too.” If it were up to him, you wouldn’t be here risking your life with him. Something about you was so pure, an unfitting description for this line of work. There’s never a day that goes by where you’re not checking in on your friends after a mission, or taking the time to get to know them personally– asking about pets, family, or their favorite things. Just like you do with him. You were the first person to treat Keegan like a friend. He wasn’t just a respected teammate or just a ghost, but a true friend in your eyes, maybe something more. He watches you take in his words, hoping it relieves your stress in the slightest bit. You look him in the eyes and smile. That same friendly, warm, raw smile that had him obsessed with you. Your hand reached for his.

“Thank you, Keegan. That calmed my nerves a bit.” You smile in appreciation. He calmly nodded in response. His eyes darted to your interlaced hands. He subconsciously lightly tightened his grip on your hand. Why couldn’t you have met under different circumstances? You’re his light, his escape in this hellhole of a war. The long conversations you two would have were precious to him. He remembers everything you say, just like what you do with him. How you would’ve decorated your home, your disliking for overly sweet foods and drinks and how it stings your throat, your favorite color– Everything about you was perfect. He looks at your wounds and looks back up at the room. 

“Nothing hurts?”

“Not a lot.”

“Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Are you cold?” “A little.” He stood up to grab an extra blanket from the cabinets, disappointed that he had to break the contact from your hands. He tossed the blanket over you, checking that you were as comfortable as possible. Maybe this was his form of special treatment– treatment no other soldier would see or receive. This was him behind closed doors... next to you. He’s truly a softie, especially for you. If he could take your place in that cot, taking the pain in your place, he would.

He loves you.

“Keegan?” His eyes met yours the second he heard his name come from your mouth. The way you said it was sweet and powdered with love. It drove him crazy– in a good way. He glances back at you as a silent cue to continue. You began to speak again once you got his attention.

“What do you want to do after this is all over?” The question took him by surprise. 

“I don’t really know. I’m sure I never want to go through this again.” He jokes. You both softly laugh.

“Ever thought about settling down with someone? Perhaps a lover?” He tensed up after hearing that. 

“I have.” He sat back down, linking hands again. That lover was you. All he wanted was to see you in a white dress and a veil, with a golden band signifying your mutual love. You felt him drawing shapes with his thumb on your palm. You sighed softly at the action.

“Me too. Maybe I’ll move somewhere quieter, like the countryside. I’ve always lived in the city– even growing up.” You reminisce the memories of cars constantly driving down the street as late as 2 am. Nothing ever seemed to stop in the city of your childhood. Not much has changed in that way– now you’re constantly moving around, hoping to see another tomorrow. The city was Keegans’ last guess on what type of area you grew up in. The city is chaotic, dangerous, and forever awake. You were so down to earth, despite citylife doing anything to sweep people up. He’d do anything in his power to live that quiet life you dreamed of right at your side.

“–But back to settling down with someone, I think I want to do that too. A break from hazards is one thing, but I hope I share it with someone else.” You looked up at the ceiling trying to picture the sight. Keegan looked at you, then looked down at his feet.

“What about your special someone–”

“It’s you. I love you.” He interrupted, letting his impulsive thoughts win. He was pleading deep down that he didn’t make a fool of himself, that you reciprocated his feelings. You snapped out of your trance. It took a second to hear that correctly. You looked into Keegans’ eyes, shock being present in your expression.

“Really–? I mean– you’re being one hundred percent serious?” There was doubt in your head. You were telling yourself this was too good to be true– but this is Keegan. He wouldn’t do or say anything to hurt you. He was too enamored with you, drowning in love to be lying. His thoughts are consumed by everything he adores about you. He picked up your hand and brought it to his masked lips. You took that as his confirmation and sat up, being careful of your leg pain. Keegan turned his body to face yours better. You leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his torso as he embraced you. The warmth made you happily sigh as you let out a soft giggle. The feeling of euphoria washed over you. He really loves you, and you love him.

“I love you too, Keegan.” He rested his head over yours, lightly rocking you from side to side. It felt unreal to hear that out of your mouth. He goes back and forth from how you both made it official to thinking about his future with you. Your, no, both of your shared futures, hand in hand.

“After this is all over, I’ll make sure that quiet countryside life you dream of comes true– I promise. No more war, no more dangerous circumstances, nothing. Maybe we’ll get a dog together.” You hummed in response, feeling drowsy from the amount of emotion and the long day you’d had. He kissed your head through his mask, holding you tighter. You look up at him and pull his mask high enough to expose his lips. He leans down to share a short, sweet, soft kiss. No matter how short, it was a kiss full of love and adoration for each other. Keegan felt as if his life was complete. He could call you his and you could call him yours. Your head leaned against his shoulder as the both of you enjoyed the comfortable silence. Keegan pulled away slowly and motioned you to lie back down, sensing your tiredness by how your grasp around him was loosening.

“Rest up, okay? I’ll wake you up if I have to leave.” You nodded and got yourself comfortable. Keegan lovingly kissed your head and brushed his hand over your hair. You’re his to protect. He’ll do anything to keep your comforting, gentle smile on your face. No matter how dangerous things get out there, he knows how to keep his promises. He’s promised your teammates that they’ll win the war together– but he promises that you’ll live in the home of your dreams outside of rolling green fields full of wildflowers and berries. He’ll wake up next to you to see the morning sunlight making your skin glow and go to sleep seeing the moonlight cast a halo behind you, like the angel you were– his sweet angel, his paradise.

#keegan p russ #keegan p russ x reader #keegan x reader #keegan p. russ #keegan p. russ x reader #cod ghosts #cod ghosts x reader #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #fluff #keegansgf

[joviepog]

Puddle of tears

Where you and wilbur cry and sing the songs you made together after both of your horrid breakups. Finally reuniting.

(Part two of Jovie’s series, “Click”.)

—ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-ᱬ-

Part 1 — Part 3

Warnings: cursing, angst, mention of depression, sad, signs mental abuse, signs of manipulation.

Pronouns: She / They

Who: Wilbur soot x reader

Word count: 2014 words!

Tag list: No one

Anything else: So, ive been having hard times irl and i think this was a great way for me to express them in a way you guys will love. I started writing this right after i made the first one because this was the part i was most excited to write. I put a couple of songs in there to give you the aesthetic but by all means you do not have to listen to them. They are just what i thought the mood was in that period of time. Though i do recommend to listen to the second song (at least the beginning) because that is the song they sing together. Like always, I’ve gotten almost no sleep s please excuse any errors.

This story was NOT proofread.

Listen to this as you read!

—ᱬ—

You sat on you bed, snuggled up in some blankets. You were reading, trying to get your mind off of anything and everything. Wilbur was sitting on the opposite side of your bed, sitting with his knees to his chest. He was scrolling through his phone. His eyes seemed wary and his eye bags only made them look worse. One of his arms were hugging his leg while the other held his phone.

You could only guess you looked worse. You haven’t slept in days. You haven’t showered in a good while and all you’ve eaten are a couple of ramen noodles that you got from the nearest store. You’ve been in your pajamas for days, only changing them every 4 days. You’ve barely been drinking any water and you’ve only brushed your teeth 4 times in the last 6 days. The only thing keeping your breath from smelling of garbage are a couple of packets of gum that you have lying around your flat. Your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying sessions you had the night before.

You were lucky that wilbur was even dealing with you. You felt so lucky to have your friend with you again. The fact he even drove 20 minutes away just to be with you every day is absolutely bewildering. You reunited with him the day you got broken up with. You remember it clear as day.

You had gotten a text from Josh. Someone you haven’t heard from in ages. You where in the middle of making yourself some ramen when you checked your phone. You remember feeling scared. Like he was going to yell at you for not talking to him for so long. For leaving soothouse randomly. For yelling at him the day he asked what was wrong. You where so scared. You left the text message alone for hours. Till you finally opened it up around 10 pm. Your eyes widened when you read it.

He wasn’t yelling at you, he wasn’t asking you questions, he wasn’t even talking about you. The text message was small and clear, “Wilbur got his heartbroken by some girl who used him to travel the world. I think he needs help, he’s struggling but he wont talk to any of us. He trusts you. Can you talk to him?” He was talking about wilbur. The one person you didn’t dare talk to. The one person, that you were really, really scared to talk to. You didn’t have it in you to comfort anyone. You needed to be comforted by someone…

And yet, you found yourself calling Wilbur. The first call was a let down, and yet you knew it was going to happen. You heard the phone ring and ring until it went to voicemail. You were going to give up. You really were. But something told you to try again. ‘Just one last time’

You clicked the call button once again. Expecting it to ring out. But after one ring the phone was picked up. You stayed silent, unable to speak, scared. There was a small sniffle from the other side. And you couldn’t help but sniffle back. You two sat in silence for a moment, only the sounds of soft sniffles coming through. But, when you were ready to hang up, to curse at yourself for even trying; you heard four words over the phone.

“Can I come over?” There was a silence once again. The voice was groggy, it sounded as if it was forced out. You could tell he had been crying. You wanted to cry too… “Yeah…” was all you could manage to get out. You hadn’t told anyone about the breakup. But your ex probably told everyone. Wilbur was probably one of the first people he told. He was so obsessed with wilbur, you hated him so much for it.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

“YOU WERE TALKING TO WILBUR AGAIN?!? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO?” He yelled out, pointing at the door from where you and wilbur once stood. “UGH. HE WAS PROBABLY THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTED YOU! CAN’T YOU TELL HOW IN LOVE HE IS? HE WANTS TO STEAL YOU AWAY. FROM ME! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT YN?” He turned toward you, his eyes flaming, “YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, I’LL TELL HIM WHEN WE BREAK UP. SO HE HAS SOME SORT OF FUCKING CHANCE WITH YOU.SO THAT HE CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT HIS SHITTY FANTASY.”

This caught your attention. Tears started to form, “You- You think we are going to break up one day?” Your voice was meek, unable to bring to many words out. Tears started to flow from your face as you looked up at him from where you were seated. His gaze softened a bit, (which now that you think back on it he might have thought he had gotten caught) and worry covered his face.

“If.” He paused, “If it happens. I don’t think it will. But if it does it will be the first thing I do.” He kneeled to where you were sitting and cupped you face in his hands. With his thumb he rubbed your tears away. “See what he caused baby? He wants this to happen.” He paused as he leaned his forehead on yours, “stop talking to him baby, then none of this will ever happen again.”

You nodded, scared of what he would do if you said no. He smiled at you and pulled away from your face. He gave you a soft kiss before walking away, not looking back. Once you made sure that he left you cried. You cried so hard. Later that day he made sure you wouldn’t talk to wilbur at all. Your surprised he even let you keep his contact.

—ᱬ—ᱬ—ᱬ—

Once wilbur got there he knocked slowly. That doesn’t matter though. Because by the first knock you where already there to open the door. You opened the door quickly. It had been over a year that you hadn’t seen him. Your eyes widened when you saw him. The moment you laid eyes on him tears started to form. And by the time you took a few steps to hug him, you were already crying. Your tears soaking his sweater. He hugged you back and started to cry too. He buried his face in your hair as he did.

It was a beautiful moment. You felt so lost without him. And now that you two were together you felt complete. Like you finally gained back your missing piece. You two kept crying in each others arms. You didn’t want to let go. You wouldn’t let go. It was this beautiful, sad reunion that must have been so awkward for your neighbors.

And now, as you sat here in a comfortable silence with wilbur you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of both happiness and sadness. Wilbur was going through the same thing you were going through. He felt like someone you could really just… relax with. In these days of misery you and wilbur have made some stupid breakup songs. You both memories them by now but you stopped singing them about a week ago. You think you guys just kind of gave up. On everything. You guys barely talk on a daily. You guys just sit in a comfortable silence.

Suddenly you find yourself standing up and walking towards your cupboard, pulling out a new set of pajamas.

“What are you doing?” Asked wilbur as he looked up from his phone. “I’m going to take a shower and brush my teeth. I feel disgusting. Maybe getting myself together again will help?” I say, more of a question than a statement. He nods a yes and looks back at his phone. You sigh and walk away, cursing at yourself for even getting up. You already regretted your decision and you weren’t even to the restroom yet. You arrived to the restroom and opened the door, you walk in and lock the door behind you. You let out a sigh once again. You set your cloths aside as you turn on your shower. You quickly get your toothbrush out and you start brushing your teeth, waiting for the water to heat up. Once your done brushing your teeth and you see the mirrors start to fog up you undres and get in the shower. The hot water relaxing your body. You let out one last sigh. Letting the water calm your body for a bit more. But after a few seconds you get to work. You scrubbed your hair and your body like there was no tomorrow. And once you felt clean, you tuned off the water and grabbed the towel. You dried your body then you wrapped you hair in the towel. You stepped out of your shower and put on some lotion and cloths. You felt like a whole new person. You felt refreshed, you were surprised you even made it out of the bed.

Anyway, once you got back into the room with wilbur he had a guitar in hand. He smiled at you and you smiled back. You plopped yourself on the bed next to him. You saw as his fingers moved too were they need to go next. “Are you willing to sing a bit?” He says with a smile, it seems forced, but you nodd.

—ᱬ—

Listen to this for the next part:

—ᱬ—

“He never had cool stories. He doesn't make your heart beat.Used to love his mystery. But now he's just exhausting. Another day spent just laying in his room. The stench of incense. And some undelivered food.” You forced a smile as you heard him play. This was your song. The one that hurt you the most. Nevertheless, he continued.

“And she thought. ‘What if he thinks I'm the one?’” You sang that part with him. The memories rushing back. You felt a lump in your throat form as the two fo you continued.

“And I'll be forced to rot away, with him and his obsessions, with trivial things. Like the amount of fucking love hearts I finish a text message with.” You laughed a bit at the end, thinking about how much he cared about stupid little things. The lump I your throat grew bigger and you cursed at yourself upon how just one song could get you so emotional.

“And when you hold his hands…” Then it was your turn, “ It doesn't feel like flying.”

“And when you take his breath away…” he looked at you with a small smirk as you sang, “he might as well be dying.”

“And you're dying to breathe, You're trapped in his cage.” He paused for a moment as he looked at you, his face now covered with worry and sadness, “And its shrinking.

“And she thought, ‘What if he just never leaves?Or if he doesn't get the message?And he doesn't hear my please?‘“ You started to tear up, all the pain, and all the depression, and all the feelings came back. You felt it all. Like you were expierenceing it all over again. You looked down as you continued singing, you could already feel his nervous gaze. But once again, he proceeded.

“So she just started screaming… Why can’t he just bore me to death.” A reference to some old text with wilbur. You started to feel your pajamas becoming wet. Wilbur paused, looking at you and putting your hand on your shoulder. “YN..”

You shook your head, tears still flowing down your face. “Keep singing. It’s alright.” He sat in silence for another moment before singing another song. One of his songs. You leaned on his shoulder and you started to cry on it. You could hear his voice starting to sound choppy as well but he persisted. As you cried you found yourself drifting to sleep. His voice calming you as he went. Even if it was choppy because of his tears. You still loved it.

And soon, you found yourself asleep. Lying in a puddle of tears.

Yeah like i said before this was really nice to write. Also im working on being able to use links right so it should be up on my pinned soon.

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x yn #wilbur soot x you #wilbur x yn #Wilbur x you #wilbur x reader #dsmp x yn #dsmp x you #dsmp x reader #dream smp x reader #dream smp x you #dream smp x yn #myct x you #myct x yn #myct x reader #wilbur soot #dream smp #dsmp #myct #wilbur #Click series #joviepog #NEW SERIES POG #Part two of click #part two of click the series #wilbur soot angst #soot house #soothouse #wilbur angst #wilbur soot x you angst

[kaibutsushidousha]

thought of Raikou and her heavenly king

I like Raikou a lot, but I'd be lying if I said anything to say about her. Out of all characters in Sakurai's recreation of Tsukihime, Raikou is by far the most derivative, to the point I really can't think of any Raikou character trait that isn't also present in Akiha. In fact, Raikou was the starting point from which I started noticing the connections that made the post above. For maybe 2 years, it was only Raikou=Akiha in my brain.

That said, Raikou was a very important personal step in my relationship with the other character. I don't think I need to anyone that, but Akiha is a very unapproachable figure and at least the original version of her route didn't help me at all with that. The first time I felt something positive about Akiha was when Hisui's route clarified the true nature of her relationship with Kohaku. For years, my take on Akiha has been "I don't like her individually, but I like her relationship with Kohaku", which is the one Akiha thing that Raikou lacks. However, as I found myself enjoying Raikou content, my reaction was obviously "Wait, I like Akiha now, actually".

My biggest hope for Raikou in Samurai Remnant is that the new context allows her to shine in ways that distance herself from her Tsukihime inspiration (and vice-versa as my hope for Red Garden) because I checked my tags for this and to this day I still haven't ever failed to mention one in a meta post about the other.

Kintoki for the longest time existed as a joke character and not one of the funny ones, as the protagonist of Heian, he's perfect. I love the idea of seeing a Heroic Spirit as a complete person secure of the ideals he stands for and then meeting his living counterpart in a period when the world he defended still leaves him lost and unsure of what he wants and cares for. I loved to see so much of Fate/Zero's Kirei reflected in such an ambiguously good guy, and I love especially Kintoki's relationship with Douman.

Tsuna I don't like. His role and backstory are quite well fit for Heian's themes, as just some guy who went so above his expected fate through the sheer power of caring, but Heian is a story as rich of The Tale of Genji intertextuality as it is of Tsukihime intertextuality, and I can't help but draw the worst possible implications out of Tsuna's backstory being meant to mirror Hikaru-gimi's relationship to Fujitsubo and Murasaki.

Urabe and Sadamitsu aren't in Fate/ yet, and honestly, I don't feel any need for them to be unless something super original is done with them. Urabe's fatherly archer archetype sorta overlaps too much with Tell, and Sadamitsu's only interesting legend is when he found the feral Kintoki and brought him to the civilization. Considering his initiative to take Kintoki to the human side, Sadamitsu could have potential as a character who actively wants to bridge the gaps between humans and non-humans whenever possible, but not in FGO, where the human and oni Servants are already sharing Chaldea's space without the need of his intervention.

#type moon #fate grand order #minamoto no raikou #sakata kintoki #watanabe no tsuna #usui sadamitsu #urabe no suetake

[lysa1201-saucy]

Don’t Read A Book In Abyssal At 3 AM! (Not Clickbait)(Emotional)(Gone Sexual) - Lucifer x F!Reader (Part 3)

Part 1 , Part 2

Read Chapters Early on my Patreon!! Chapter 4 is currently up! Also includes NSFW art uncensored!! &lt;;33

New chapter yayyy!!! Lmk if you wanna be added to the tag list!!

This story will contain sexual themes and smut in the future, which is why it is being posted onto my 18+ account rather than my SFW account. Thank you &lt;;33

Genre: Comedy, Romance (Fluff + Smut), Angst

Warnings: Mentions of reader on period, period cramps, if there is anything else I should add lmk &lt;;33

Word Count: 1483

++++

You tossed your keys into the small basket on your counter and placed your wallet down. “You can sleep in my bed tonight if you want,” You offered. “I can take the couch.”

“It’s fine,”

“You need the comfort more than I do right now,” You stated, looking at him with sadness and guilt. “I’ll change into my pajamas; you can change into yours. Just knock on my door when you finish, and then we can trade places, okay?”

“Yeah,”

Why was he so different from the game you played? He should be the Avatar of Pride, yet he is completely broken and confused in your apartment. Although, what other emotions should he be feeling?

“We’ll get them to you,” You whispered before you entered your room. “I promise. I’m sorry.”

++++

You could peacefully sleep on your bed until you woke up at 11 am, feeling incredibly uncomfortable and in a lot of pain. Oh, fuck. Not now.

You quickly got up and checked your couch. Thank goodness it wasn’t stained. You still had to rush to the bathroom and check your bottoms. “Fuck,” You cursed under your breath, finding them stained.

Now you had to figure out how to wake up Lucifer and get into your room to grab a new pair of underwear and sweats and hope he doesn’t see the red stains on your crotch while you do so. Or what’s inside your underwear drawer. Unfortunately, you had to.

You uncomfortably walked to your bedroom door and knocked softly, but there was nothing. Then, when you knocked a second time, you could hear shifting in your bed and some groaning. “Lucifer? Can I come in? I need to grab some things.” 

“It’s your room,” Lucifer’s hoarse voice spoke, saying his first words of the day. He cleared his throat afterward, and you could hear more shifting in the bed.

You meekly opened the door to your room and found Lucifer rubbing his eyes in your bed while sitting up. The blankets on top of him were slightly slid down his body and remained to lay over his lap. Revealing the fact he was shirtless. You bought him a sleeping shirt; why the fuck isn’t he wearing it? 

Oh yeah, it’s summer.

You looked away before he could see you staring. Then, when he stopped rubbing his eyes, you were sure he knew you were looking. That filled him with pride. He felt good.

“Do you think you can look away?” You asked him while you tried to get to your dresser without revealing the stain on your sweats. 

He just rolled his eyes and covered his eyes. “Happy?”

“Thanks,” You whispered under your breath. You quickly grabbed some underwear and new shorts and darted out of the room and right to the bathroom. As you changed your bottoms and put on a tampon, you were too embarrassed by the idea of Lucifer accidentally hearing the sound of your pad rubbing together when you strolled back to your room. “Lucifer? Can you close your eyes again, really quick?”

The sound of a sigh confirmed that he had done so. You ran across your room to find your laundry basket and hide the stained clothes under your other dirty laundry. “Okay, you’re good to look again,” You gave permission, turning around to see him with a shirt on this time. You don’t need to be at the hormonal time of the month and see a hot guy without a shirt on in your room, so you were nothing but overjoyed that he had more clothes on this time. “I don’t have much left to make any breakfast, unless you want eggs and toast again. I have cereal?” You tried to offer.

“I’m going to brush my teeth,” Lucifer said as he walked out of the room.

You groaned. “That didn’t answer my question,” You complained under your breath.

Deciding to ignore his apparent attempts at avoiding and ignoring you, you made yourself a bowl of cereal as you chose to wait for him to finish brushing his teeth and changing his clothes. Once he left the room, you couldn’t help but feel different things again. What upset you the most was that he knew what he was doing to you. The more you reacted, the more his personality and pride began to rush back to him.

“Do you want to go to the library again? I have a shift from noon to 8 pm today.” You asked him shyly. You couldn’t help but feel so timid around him. Not only that, but you knew it was because of the month's time, but it only made you more embarrassed by each second. “Sorry I keep needing to leave you alone,”

“Don’t worry; I like being away from you.” That was Lucifer’s immediate response. Ouch.

You nodded, taking his bowl and your own to the kitchen to wash.

++++

Your shift had gone by painfully slow. Not only were your cramps torturous, but so was your anxiety for Lucifer. You gave him some cash, so if he got hungry, he could get some food, but you also gave him strict orders not to wander around too much and get lost, and to be at the library by 8 pm, so you could go and pick him up.

But of course, what do you see at the library? Not Lucifer.

You rushed to the front desk to ask an employee in panic, “Hey, do you by any chance know when a man with black hair, red eyes, kind of looks like Christian Grey?” You attempted to explain Lucifer's looks when the library’s bell rang. Your head snapped over to find the tall man you were just looking for. “Oh, thank God.” You sighed in relief, quickly covering your mouth as his expression switched to a deadpanned one. “Sorry,” You mouthed to him.

You walked over to him quickly and looked up, “Where were you? I was scared to death!”

“I was just across the street; I had dinner. Plus, it’s exactly 8 pm, so you’re early.” You turned your head to check the library’s clock, and he was correct. You chose not to say anything in response. “Are we going to head back to your apartment now?”

You nodded in response when you winced slightly. Damn it. Your cramps were starting to act up. Lucifer seemed to notice your random pang of pain but decided to ignore it at that moment. You’ll be fine. 

You groan loudly as you both settle into your car, seatbelts on, car ready to reverse. You wrap your arms around your stomach and rest your head on the steering wheel. “What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?” Lucifer asked slightly with worry. It wasn’t that you were explicitly in pain; you were his ride to the place he sleeps.

“It hurts so bad,” You croaked, tears threatening to leave your eyes. Don’t you dare cry in front of this son of a bitch, you thought to yourself. Lucifer quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and went to open the car door. “Where are you going?” You looked up, but he seemed to either ignore you or just didn’t hear you because he shut the door behind him.

The next thing you see is him walking around the front of your car and next to your door, opening it. “Move.” That was all he said.

“Why?”

“I’ll drive,”

“It’s fine,”

“It’s not fine. I'm driving; you can’t drive if you're crying your eyes. I wrote down some information I need you to go through anyway, so I’d like to return to your place.”

Maybe you were hoping he was doing this because he cared, but deep down? He was annoyed by your crying and pain and wanted to do more research.

The drive home was silent besides your occasional sobs of pain. He ignored every single one. To him, this was just what you deserved for bringing him away from home and possibly everyone else. He almost wished you were feeling worse. He knew that was rude, you were being kind enough to try and help him get him back home and give him a place to stay as well as food to eat, but at the same time, if it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t need that hospitality in the first place.

When you two returned to your apartment, he was annoyed by your sobs. He had a headache and just wanted to go to bed. He let you have your bed that night, so you’d hopefully feel better the next day and be able to help him with what he discovered. You were going to get him the fuck home, and if you didn’t, he would cause you even worse pain than you were already feeling.

Although, at that moment, you were ready to accept any pain other than your awful cramps.

++++

Tag List: @sassykattery , @dfgdfgxftdd , @karmasadistic69

Next Part

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x mc

[cahmilo]

Proud of You | carlos m.

pairing: carlos madrigal x fem!reader

genre: fluff

summary: being a graduate student has been the most draining period of youth. you had submissions to do, projects to finish, and even essays to write. having burnout and stress all at once just makes you want to end it all, but luckily for you, you still have one task you've been wanting to achieve, to make carlos madrigal proud of you.

tags: modern high school au, burnt-out reader, mentions of fainting throwing up and academic stress, cursing

note: this is most especially dedicated to @pochi-moochika please ik youre asleep rn but brother pls get well fucking sooner god i miss being chaotic with you *violently sobbing*

As rewarding as it may be, graduating wasn't easy. In order to reach for the top, one must walk up the stairs of progress that comes with numerous tasks and challenges that determines your will to reach the goal. Unfortunately for someone as chill and nonchalant as you, it was weeks of torture and agony prior to the final celebration. 

You were a good student since little now that you think about it. It was just because of the pace of growing up, adulting, pressure to finish what you can't, they all burdened you. To the point where you procrastinate and easily give up. It has been like this for the past few weeks and now you're paying the price.

Graduation is almost 2 weeks away and you are still yet to pass on some of your pending assignments. 

You groaned in exhaustion as your hands made its way to your face, your elbows resting perpendicularly atop the cluttered desk. It was already 2AM and your emails have been pouring non-stop, teachers asking for your progress and waiting for your response. You didn't have the energy to respond to them with what you still didn't have so you simply ignored them. You shut them out and closed your eyes for a few seconds, taking in at least a minute of rest before you're faced with reality again.

Just as you were about to take in the serenity and peace, you were interrupted by a 'ding' sound. A notification from the discord app. You blinked your eyes and sighed to open your laptop and your eyes almost popped out from your sockets to see who messaged you at this hour.

Carlos Madrigal, one of the school officers and if you were to be honest, the one you're attracted to. 

Carlos: hey,, u need help? with yk other tasks and such

You gulped. You've interacted with Carlos before, despite his cold and intimidating look, he was nice to you. Though he never openly showed you care, there were times when you felt it. Unfortunately his cool but lowkey-kind demeanor made you fall down the rabbit hole and you were down bad. So him messaging you at this hour brought you more energy than the commercial drink set by your table.

You: lmao its aight im good.. i think i can do this

Carlos: Y/N, its 2AM and i saw how many things you still need to do 

Carlos: give me some of the modules you still haven't done

Carlos: i'll answer them

Now if you were to be honest, you hate letting others work for you. You had a thing for your ego and it would falter immediately if you shown any ounce of weakness or failure to someone else. In this scenario though, you were desperate. And as much as you hate having let your crush answer your homework for you, there wasn't any other choice available.

You: fine

You: can you answer them here w me

Carlos: sure

And that was how your night of stress took a 180 degree turn. When you saw Carlos join the discord voice call, your heart paced even faster. As if you were palpitating with caffeine but instead of coffee, it was his voice. The sound of his microphone and audio transmission on his end made his voice even lower and raspier. He sounded like he was tired but every time you insist on letting him go to bed, he would always stay behind to help you. 

And it went on for many days.

Carlos was the only one who was willing enough to help you with your last minute requirements. It lifted a bunch of weight from your shoulders, but not entirely. Every night you and Carlos would be on vc to answer activities together. Lucky for him he finished it a few days ago so it was easy to help you. You on the other hand, felt like you were burdening him but never got the chance to tell him so. 

It went on for a few more days and you were finally done with your lacking projects. Carlos and you got even more closer than before to the point of sleep calling and pet names. You finally got to know more about him during these times of stress. You found out that you two loved horror movies, Carlos would often share his screen to watch a movie with you even. You also found his way of affection quite, unique? He would cover it up with insults and if ever he gets soft, he would instantly claim it as a joke and call it cringe. It was his thing and it made you adore him even more knowing that he genuinely tries.

Tonight was the night before the two of your graduation. Carlos wasn't nervous, he was ready. But you however, you were jittery and nervous, and Carlos can tell. Right now on vc, he made sure that he wants to make you feel better and calm for at least a small amount.

You turned your camera on the same time Carlos turned his. He was on his desk, seeming to be writing something while you were leaning on your right palm, staring at your hands trembling from nervousness.

"You see this shit? It's involuntarily shaking like a damn chihuahua" You trailed off, showing your hand to the camera. Carlos looked at it and slightly widened his eyes.

"You're really nervous huh?"

"Yeah." You put down your hand and looked at the walls of your room. "Sometimes I hate my hands, they always snitch on me when I'm anxious. They also look weird" 

"No they don't." You saw Carlos standing up from his chair to walk off-cam. 

"They do"

"I'll prove you wrong" You heard Carlos' voice from his mic, it seemed like he was far away. 

"And how will you change my mind?"

"I'll hold your hand to let you see how you should love them like I do" 

When Carlos said those words, you almost dropped your head down to the desk. You were taken aback from his bold move and your eyes widened. Impulsively, you muted yourself and hid your face from the camera as you ducked down to your desk and squealed. 

You stayed in that state for a couple of seconds until you heard clattering of objects from Carlos' mic that made you look up. He was on his way back to his chair but he brought along a guitar with him. You unmuted yourself and showed your face back to the camera but it was more red as it used to be. Carlos then asked you a question that made your entire night even more heart fluttering.

"Send me your favorite song, I'll try to sing it"

—

D-Day.

It was graduation day. You were all dolled up by your family. You wore a pretty dress and your hair was neatly styled ready for pictorials and whatnot. When you arrived at the venue, you haven't seen Carlos yet so you sit on your seat waiting for preparations to take place.

While you were gazing at the decorations for the stage, you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned back and saw Carlos and instinctively, you threw yourself to his arms. He caught you with ease and embraced you even tighter while chuckling.

"You ready?" Carlos asked as he pulled away from the hug, careful not to mess your hair. When you nodded back to him, he smiled and bid you a temporary goodbye as the program began to start.

Nervousness filled your body. You shivered and your legs were bouncing the more names get called and the more it gets closer to yours. Carlos was in a different class however so he was called first. He looked so good it made you lose all your anxiety in just seconds. The way he walks coolly towards the stage and received his diploma with a half-lidded smirk, it made you swoon. For a second you swore you saw him glance at your eyes and gave you a small wink, making you lose your composure. You covered your face by hiding to the person in front of you.

By the time your turn comes, you almost looked like there was no more blood pumping in your body. It all seemed like a blur as you walked up to the stage, faced the bright light covering the audience and took your diploma. You smiled at the camera and almost ran down the stairs to exit. On the way to your seat you met Carlos and this time, he was the one to storm in your way to give you a tight embrace. 

"I'm so proud of you!" He yelled, combatting the loud speakers and music. You laughed and buried your face in his chest.

"Couldn't have made it this far without you, Carlos" You were about to call yourself insane and delusional when you felt a pair of lips lightly kiss the crown of your head. 

—

After the ceremony, Carlos insisted he takes you out to celebrate. He takes you out to your favorite restaurant for lunch and decides to spoil you by paying for it all. It made you flattered seeing how he went all the way just to be with you. As much as he tried denying that it was a date, you couldn't help but feel like it was. 

Carlos spent the rest of the afternoon with you. After lunch the realization of your success finally sinks in and it gives you, mixed emotions? You were happy that you managed to graduate but now looking back at it, you did poorly on some of the tasks and you regretted it. You regret how you procrastinated your way to the end of the semester and even brought Carlos into it. He noticed your change in demeanor and insisted he takes you home to rest. 

When you arrived home, you felt weak, drained, tired. It was as if the moments of you suffering in pain has sunk in harder now. The times where you were overworked made you nauseous.

You also had your image to keep, and being weak in front of Carlos wasn't something you wanted to show. As much as you hated letting him see you so unwell and tired, he still insisted he helps you. When you threw-up he held your hair, when you were on the verge of fainting he carried you all the way to your room, and when your head was spinning in pain he scourged through the medicine cabinets to give to you. Soon enough you felt somewhat better, but not too much. 

"Carlos?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here?" 

"Sure" 

Carlos slowly walked towards the edge of your bed. When he saw that you moved to the side to make space for him, he slowly joined you. 

"Can I hug you?" "You don't have to ask, Y/N"

And just like that, you felt warmth and comfort in his arms. Carlos hugged you gently, whispering soft tunes to soothe your mind. You moved to a more comfortable position and plopped yourself on top of him as you laid your head on his chest, feeling the loud pounding of Carlos' heart. He tried to look away but his eyes were stuck on you. Carlos reached out for a make-up wipe on your bed side table and slowly lifted your head to meet his as he carefully removes your make-up. It didn't take long for you to melt to his touch as the product felt cool on your skin and the weight of the cosmetics making you feel more light and free. 

"You okay now?" Carlos softly whispered, wiping the underside of your eyes. His smile slightly faltered at the sight of your eyebags. 

"A little. I still feel sick, sorry"

"Don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong" 

"I did" You whispered and furrowed your eyebrows. "I got you to do shit for me, I messed up while walking, I- ugh"

"Hey, look at me." Carlos called you, he traces your jaw to make you look at him. 

"I'm proud of you no matter what. I'm always fine helping you and you know that. You suffered through much and I'll still be with you from then on, okay?"

You closed your eyes and face-planted yourself to his chest. You can feel the vibration coming from Carlos lightly chuckling at you. While you were at your spaced out thoughts, you felt fingers make its way to your hand. In the spur of the moment, you felt Carlos intertwine his fingers against yours, his thumb lightly brushing near the back of your palm. You suddenly remembered your old conversation with him about your hands, flustered at the thought of him staying true to his word. His other hand left your hair as it travelled to your temples, gently massaging them. Carlos hummed a small tune in hopes to relax you.

It did. 

It was as if time has slowed down. You were afraid to let this moment end, when you're met with reality and all of the burdens that came along with it. Now, you focused on the present. You were safe and sound in his embrace, and you couldn't ask for a better place to spend eternity in. 

Before you were about to doze off to dreamland, you heard Carlos mumble those words you've been longing to hear ever since. 

"I'm so proud of you, I hope you know that Y/N"

taglist: @pochi-moochika, @carlosfruitsnacks, @thegirlwiththebangs, @mirabelleza, @carcat-02, @brushofease, @camilos-luna, @ducky-is-dead-inside, @elegantkidfansoul, @moon-cakiie, @ignoremepeople37, @its-mia88, @try-cry-why-try , @justzei, @asockyoulostbeforelaundry, @alexxavicry ++ join here

thumbnail belongs to the artists of purrfect tale

#cahmi fics #carlos madrigal #encanto #disney encanto #carlos madrigal x reader #carlos madrigal supremacy #carlos madrigal x y/n #carlos madrigal fanfic #carlos madrigal oneshot #carlos x reader #encanto x reader

[ritzyu]

This Wasn't What I Wanted.

🥀Pairing: Beomgyu x fem!reader

🥀Genre: Angst, Fluff (if you squint hard enough baby, sorry-)

🥀Warnings: mentions of; violence, death, cussing, Beomgyu was slightly a jerk at first:( (and if I miss something please do tell me, thank you<33)

🥀W/c: __

🥀Disclaimer(s);

the header and divider in this post were both made/edited by me !! So please don't come at me for "not giving credit"<3

This does not represent txt's Choi Beomgyu in any way !! Anything and basically everything that this post contains are out of pure fiction. So please don't take anything too seriously!<3

🥀A/n✉: hello lovelies !! Yes, I'm alive. Just not well. Anyways, I'm writing this fic because I had a dream about it and I'm making it everyone's problem<3. This is also not proofread so if you see some dents here and there I'm sorry 😭 Anyways, Hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please reblog/reply and just give me your thoughts, it would really mean alot to me! Thank you! Mwah mwah<33

You're currently walking down the hallway of your school, on your way to your next period. Your attention was just focused on your reviewer you personally made for this periods' quiz. You were nervous. Hands shaking as you mumbled out some words as you tried to read parts that you were having trouble with over and over again, skimming through each page quickly. Students walking pass by you thought you were crazy. Well, you did look the part.

"Y/n!"

You suddenly snapped back to reality once you heard your name echoed through the halls by a familiar voice. Shooting your head towards the direction to face its' owner.

And there you saw Huening Kai running towards your direction, something in his hands that was other than his back and nintendo on the other.

"Hey, Hyuka, what's u---"

"No time to chat! This is for you!" He gently shoves something in your hands as he stopped and jogged in place behind you for a second, waving whilst up holding a smile. "I need to go now! My class is about to start!" With that, he left you, slightly dumfounded as you stared down at the item in your hands.

It was a small box with a red ribbon neatly tied around it. Containing... your favorite chocolate?? You sighed as you looked back at the hallway where Huening had passed, thinking this was actually from it. Just then you noticed a yellow tag which was attached to the ribbon while you were inspecting it's packaging slowly.

It was a note. Which read;

Hope you like these. I sorta forgot what kind of these you liked someone I got each and every one, just in case. I hope you enjoy them;) -Beomgyu♡

You almost jumped in place as the feeling of excitement started to kick in. But you were too shocked to even move an inch.

"Beomgyu?? The Beomgyu?? He gave this to me????" You thought to yourself, in disbelief. More questions in your mind that were left unansweared as the bell rung, making your excitement turn into panic once you realized that you were late for your next period.

Running to your classroom. You couldn't help but have a little smile creep up onto your lips as the thought of Beomgyu. Your crush since gradeschool. Gave you your favorite chocolate(s). You thought he didn't even give two fucks about what you kept on babbling to him on the way to school. Since you both were neighbors, both of you would sometimes end up walking together to school if his friends don't pick him up in their flashy cars.

Your stomach felt so warm and fuzzy inside. The thought that he even remembered your favorite kind of chocolate, let alone even listen to you when you mentioned it, caused your heart to do backlips.

After class ended; you were on your way to the cafeteria. A huge smile that could almost reach the sky was still plastered to your face. Books still in hand. Staring at the sky as you were dreaming of how sweet Beomgyu could be and etc.

Your thoughts got run over once you tripped on one of the broken tiles that was slightly lifted up. You closed your eyes and embraced yourself for the harsh impact. Yet, it didn't come. You felt strong arms wrapped around you, the reason why you weren't harmed, not even a scratch.

You opened your eyes to see Taehyun's piercing yours, a look of dissappointment in his face. Sighing, he stood you back up your feet and collected the books that you dropped on the floor. You quickly knealt down to help him but finished once you barely picked up a single book from the tiled floor.

He shook his head as he took the book frok your hands, offering to carry them for you. You protested yet he insisted. So you nod and thank you. Both of you walking to the cafeteria together. As usual.

Taehyun was and still is your bestfriend since junior high (middleschool). You didn't know how he still puts up with you after all these years. But he says he just simply enjoys your company. Just that. He never further elaborated. He just ended his statement there. You questioned him; "That's it?" And he just responds with a shrug and went back to whatever he was doing during your conversation.

"First; you act like you were possed while reciting your review sheet. And now you're looking like someone who just broke out of a Mental Hospital, smiling like a crazy person. You looked like you were thinking of multiple ways on how to chop someone up and different dishes you'd turn them to fpr dinner." He said with a straight face, still focuses on the road and checking your every step within the range of his periphiral vision.

"Well... that was detailed. Too detailed, Tyun." He shrugged, tugging your sleeve to make you avoid another broken tile. He mouths out a "whatever" and opens the door to the cafeteria with his free hand and lets you in first before entering. "I'm staarrvinggggg." You sat down on a random table while Taehyun left to go get both of you food.

You then Beomgyu sitting with Huening, Soobin, and your brother; Yeonjun, a few tables across yours. As always. You smiled, seeing Beomgyu smile at one remark his friend made to the other. Whenever he smiles you feel like your world starts to slow down. You couldn't see anyone but him as of the moment.

Taehyun came back with two trays in hand. He stared at you with a frown. Your chin rested in the palm of your hands, staring at someone with complete heart eyes. It didn't even take him a second to realize whom you were staring at. "Whom else?" He thought.

After placing your tray of food infront of you, he snaps his fingers before sitting down on the opposite side of the table.

"Careful there, pup. You might start to salivate any moment now." He comments, slurping on hos noodles after his statement.

You pout at him as you cross your arms at your chest. He didn't bother looking back at you as he continued to it. Sighing, you opened your bag. "Tyun, tyun, look,"

He hums as a response before lifting his head up to look at you, wiping his slightly stained lips with his handkercheif.

Pulling out the box Huening handed you earlier you showed ot to him. "It says Gyu gave it.."

"Hardly." Slurp.

"Can you at least consider being a little less harsh to me sometimes? It's like I'm not even your friend." You frown, acting a little offended as your hand flew to your chest. Taehyun frowns back at you, making you clear your throat and continue what you were saying.

"Soooo... he gave me my favorite chocolates! Isn't he soooo sweet? He even picked out every kind of it, just in case I only like one specific kind."

"Your mom does that everyday I don't see any differe-" bonk. You --not so harsly-- smack his head with a book and continue to speak.

"And now I don't know how I should thank him. Should it be through text? Or in person?"

"Do you even have his number?"

"Infact.. yes. Yes I do."

"You've gone too fa--" bonk.

"I have it because Yeonjun saved it on my phone when he needed to message him but his phone was dead. Get it?? Do you really think I'd lower my pride and ask him for his number?"

"No. Actually, I thought you were being a total creep and hacked open his phone and maybe took a glimpse of his number and phot-" bonk. He sucks in a deep breath, trying to mentain his cool and rubs the spot you kept on hitting.

"Wooowww. You're some best friend, Tyun." You say, sarcasm aboviously could be heard from your choice of tone.

"Yeah, Satan especially sent me here to make your life miserable." You scoff and took out your phone.

"Okay. I'm just gonna text him."

"Pussy."

"SHUT UP?????"

Taehyun chuckled and waved his hand. "Sorry, sorry, just get it over with. You need to finish your food and head to class soon."

You nod and opened Beomgyu's contact.

To; Gyu (･´з`･)💕

Hey Gyu!

It's Y/n! Thank you for the chocolates<3

"The contact name..." You turn around to see Taehyun behind you, staring at your phone, disgust was written all over his face. Gagging as his covered his mouth with his left hand.

You glare at him and nudge his stomach with your elbow. Making him bend over a bit and groan, hugging his stomach.

You peek your head to Taehyun's side to see if Beomgyu noticed the message. And he did. The notification on his phone making the four men look at Beomgyu's phone in his hands. You turn back to your phone, trying not to be obvious that you were looking at them.

Meanwhile, Taehyun saw that two of the boys teasing him as the four checked the message, while Huening Kai stayed silent as Beomgyu glared at him. Beomgyu sighed and opened his phone and started to type. He waves his hand to the boys, asking for a little privacy as he replies. Taehyun frowned and turned his attention back to you and your phone.

"HE'S TYPING...!" You scream whisper, as you shake Taehyun's arm. He just replied with a hum, attention on what Beomgyu was going to reply.

From; Gyu(･´з`･)💕

Hey uhm..

What chocolates?

Oh..

The ones inside a small box??

Lmao those are for Mia XD

You felt your heart ache. Mia? She was one of your closest friends in your class. Pretty. Smart. Muse of almost every event. She was like every girl could ever dream to be. And you were no exemption.

From; Gyu(･´з`･)💕

Sorry for the misunderstanding, y/n.

Huening didn't listen carefully to me.

I wanted him to give the box to you and put it under her desk. You're classmates, right?

To; Gyu (･´з`･)💕

I'll be sure to do that.

From; Gyu(･´з`･)💕

thanks, y/n-nie:)

You didn't reply after that. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes. You lowered your head and shakily put back your phone into your bag. You felt Taehyun's hand on your shoulder, gently tightening it's grip before rubbing and up and down motion on your back. Trying to comfort you.

"You were right, Tyun, these aren't even meant for me. I was being delusional. Wasn't I?" You sniffled. Wiping your tears as you lifted up your head and faked a smile, forcing a small chuckle out your throat.

You could do so much better than that, Y/n.. Taehyun thought. He didn't say anything, the frown on his face turning into a look of concern.

Standing up from your seat, you took your back and slung it over your shoulder and quickly picked up your books.

"I gotta go now, 'kay? I just remembered I had something to do. See you after school, Tyun!" before you could leave, you felt Taehyun's hand grab your arm.

"You didn't even eat, y/n. Knowing you, you even skipped breakfast earlier, didn't you?"

"I did.... But I'm not hungr-"

"You just stated you were starving, earlier." You lowered your head, gently removing his grip from your arm.

"I.. lost my appetite. And besides," you spun around, both hands behind your back, forcing yourself to smile at him as you point your head behind you. "I've been trusted with a special mission. And it's from Gyu!"

Taehyun didn't know what to say. He just retracted back his hand and nodded hesitantly. You thank him and rush to your classroom.

You were thankful that nobody was inside. Swiftly taking out the box from your bag, you stared at it for a few seconds before pkacing it underneat Mia's desk.

You stood there, scoffing, "To think he'd actually give me that was just so rediculus." You whisper to yourself before going to your spot in class, which was two tables away from Mia's, taking a seat and laying your head down on your desk.

Feeling your stomach rumble, you placed your hand against it. Regretting to not even take a bite of the lunch Taehyun got for the two of you. "Stupid. Just plain stupid, y/n." You thought.

You could just go back to the cafeteria for Tyun, but after what scene you made in front of him, you just couldn't. You felt like you'd just embarrass yourself more than you're feeling now.

When the bell finally rung, you saw your classmates come inside the classroom in groups, pairs and some by themselves.

Your attention was on Mia. Once she entered, you kept your eye on her from the corner of your eye. She waved at you and you wabed back, a smile on both of your faces but who knows if both were genuenly even real and sencere. You saw as she sat down, she immediately noticed the box with a red ribbon around it.

She opened the box and her face lit up. She looked back at the lip of the box, seeing the yellow tag. After reading it, her white cheeks turning into a shade of dustly rose pink, a huge smile was then plastered on her face. Hugging the box, holding it close to her chest.

You smiled, seeing her reaction. You layed your head back into your arms as they rested on your desk. Her soft golden hair bouncing as he made small jumps of excitement. Her eyes glowing while she smiles. Who wouldn't fall for her? You hid your face into your arms. Again, feeling so stupid.

Both of them look good together. You thought. Your eyes; not being able to keep the some years from falling, you shed some drops here and there. But you sniffled quietly to avaid attracting any attention to you. Which was the least thing you wanted now.

After class, which you swore you slept through it half way, you rushed out the room and went to the waiting shed that was near the gates of the school. Your usual meet up place with Taehyun whenever you arrived and were about to leave school.

Once Taehyun saw you as he lifted up his head from his phone, he placed it back to his pockets. He smiled whilst waving at your direction.

You waved back. A soft, weak smile on your face. Taehyun wasn't stupid to not notice that you were still upset. But he didn't want to bring it up. It might upset you more. So he decided to just help you distract yourself from today's events.

After Taehyun dropped you off at your house, you felt so drained. You went to your bathroom and change. Your parents werent at home since they come home from work late at night. So it was just basically you and Yeonjun most of the time. But he wasn't also at home right now. You remembered him telling you at breakfast that he wouldn't be home for tonight since him and his friends decided to have a sleep over at Huening Kai's place. And now it was just you.

That's why sometimes you were even questioning if your parents actually cared for the both of you. They never seemed to be interested in your daily lives. Never asked how you guys were doing. They'd never have incontact with you if you weren't the one to approach them. You sighed.

Being alone didn't bother you. You liked your space. Your alone time. But sometimes, like everybody else, you wanted someone to keep you company every once in while.

As you washed your face, you stared up at the mirror above your sink, staring at your reflection. You looked so sorrowful. Eyes not lit with the usual joy that fuels your body. Your lips weren't even the slightest lifted into a smile.

You sighed, wiping some steam off of your mirror where it reflected your face before closing the lights and exiting your bathroom, plopping yourself onto your bed.

How many nights had you stared at the ceiling instead of sleeping, wondering what about you was so lacking? No matter how hard you tried, you still felt like you weren't ever enough.

---

The next day, you just stayed in your bed for s few hours the second you woke up. Not even bothering to get up to open the door for your bother; Yeonjun, whom was spam calling you and almost banging on the gate to your house for almost 20 minutes.

After a while you suddenly heard someone knock on your door before opening it. You didn't even look at your door to even check who it was. You could already feel Yeonjun's glare burn the back of your head. "Really? Y/n what if I was a serial killer and just waltz inside your room and was about to kill you? Would you still ignore me?" he said, crossing his arms.

"And why didn't you answer my calls? I was out there banging on the gate to hopefully get your attention. People whom passed by thought I was crazy!"

You just groan and hug your pillow, hiding underneath your blanket. "Sorry.." you said with a groggy and dead voice.

Yeanjun's furious expression suddenly softened. He sighed and sat down next to you on your bed. Shaking you by the shoulder.

"Okay okay, I'm not mad anymore. But damn sis, are you okay? Woke up at the wrong side of the bed or somethin'?" he gently lifts up the blanket to see your face. Your eyes were bloodshot red and black circles could be noticed from underneath them.

"What the fuck-- Y/n what happened to you!?" you glared and him and sat down.

"Lower your voice, will 'ya?" Yeonjun apologized before tilting his head to take a good look at your face.

"But seriously, what happened?"

"I just.." you paused, trying to think of an excuse. To say that you've been crying over why your crush doesn't really like you nor take an interest in you was just childish. He might just tease you if you were to tell him that. "I had another.. Nightmare. And I didn't get to sleep well when I suddenly woke up at 3 in the morning."

Yeonjun frowned, contemplating if he should buy what you said or not. He sighed and gave you a hug, patting your back. "You wanna talk about it?"

"...No.." you answered, hugging him back.

"Okay, then.. Get your ass up! I'm making breakfast." your brow jerked up, looking at him slightly confused.

"Since when?"

"Excuse me? I make a mean breakfast if I do say so myself." he said, a hand on his chest and the other officer his hip.

"By 'mean', do you mean like, 'burning down the house, mean'?" Yeonjun glared at you and you laughed. You stood up from your bed and went downstairs to the kitchen before he could say a word.

"Are you that excited to taste my cooking?" you rolled your eyes at him before sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"No. I'm just here to monitor you just in case you might burn something."

"Why you little-"

And let's say your morning got way better than expected. You and Yeonjun ate breakfast together and played some games in his PS5. Everything was all fine and dandy until you got a notification from a gc where you, Huening Kai, and Taehyun were in.

Hyuka🗿

Hey besties💕

Wake up.

Rise from the dead 👹

Tyun-nie🛐

What is it this time?

I'm busy working out.

Y/n👑

What's up?

Hyuka🗿

I have tea<3

Y/n👑

Spill.

Hyuka🗿

did you guys know that Mia is going to a different country?

Well now you do👹

Y/n👑

does Gyu know?

Hyuka🗿

Idkkkkk, try and ask him

You stared at Huening Kai's message. Contemplating if you should actually ask him or not. But out of curiosity, you sucked in a deep breath and open Beomgyu's contact.

To; Gyu (･´з`･)💕

hey Gyu,

Uhm, do you know that Mia is moving to a different country soon?

It took him a while to read your message, and once you saw that he was typing, your heart was beating so fast. You didn't know if asking him that was actually okay. Since it wasn't even your business.

From; Gyu(･´з`･)💕

Hmm?

Oh. Yeah.

She just told me earlier today.

To; Gyu (･´з`･)💕

oh, I see

I was just curious hehe

Byebye:)

Beomgyu just reacted with a like on your message. You didn't wanna sulk over something like that so you just went back to the gc.

Y/n👑

Ok, so he knows. She told him earlier today:)

Hyuka🗿

I see

But like

Do you guys have an idea why she's moving? 🤔

Tyun-nie🛐

Her parents are taking her away??

Hyuka🗿

Yes, and? What else??

Tyun-nie🛐

idfk

how do you expect us to know these shit💀

Hyuka🗿

Aish....

It's because she has a heart disease.

Tyun-nie🛐

....

Y/n👑

..???

Hyuka🗿

Yeah... Her cousin told me:(

Y/n👑

does... Gyu know about this...?

Hyuka🗿

Unfortunately, no:(

Mia doesn't want Gyu to know,

Tyun-nie🛐

But isn't Beomgyu planning on waiting and hoping for Mia to come back....?

Hyuka🗿

we can't do anything about that, sadly..

It's her faith..

Y/n👑

No.

Gyu is going to get hurt.

I don't want him to loose someone he loves and cares about.

I can't live seeing him devastated and heart broken.

"Hey... Y/n? What's with the face?" you look to your side, seeing Yeonjun approaching you with two glasses of orange juice.

You immediately close your phone and fix your face. "Nothing. I just saw some... Disturbing news. That's all." you gave him a smile as you take the glass of juice that he was handing to you.

"Mhm.. So uhm, I'll be away for like, a week or something. I already told mum and dad. They agreed. As long as I'm with Hyuka and his parents. They invited me and Gyu for a beach vacation or something like that. I'll update you though. Okay?"

You frown, almost not liking the idea that he's leaving you again all alone. But you didn't want to be a burden to him by babysitting you. So you nod and smiled at him.

That same night; Yeonjun bid his goodbyes to you, hugging him before marching away with his bags in hand. You saw as the car that was waiting for Yeonjun opened, Beomgyu was the first to greet him. He was laughing and smiling after greeting your brother. It warmed your heart seeing him happy like that.

You met his eyes one last time, nodding before Yeonjun hopped in the car, you gave him and the others a weak smile and a wave goodbye before Beomgyu closed the door. You were left alone. Once again.

⇱ ⇢ Time Skip; 1week and 1day later ⇲

Beomgyu was staring at his bedroom ceiling, feeling bored, he stood up and got some decent clothes to change in and decided to collect the gang. So he started with Yeonjun. Since they were neighbors, he didn't mind walking his way to his place.

When he knocked the door; surprisingly, it wasn't Yeonjun whom answered. It was Huening Kai. Huening's face was first shown with a surprised expression before suddenly his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, Huening? What's up? What're you doing here?" Beomgyu questioned, head tilting to the side.

"..Beomgyu, I think it isn't the right time for you to show up here right now..."

Beomgyu frowned. Arms on his hips. "And why is th-"

Before he could finish his sentenced, he was cut off by somebody's fist harshly meeting with his face. Beomgyu took a few steps backwards, holding his cheek while staring at the attacker. Yeonjun.

"FUCKING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT, BEOMGYU!!"

"YEONJUN-HYUNG! STOP!" Taehyun yelled out, trying to hold back the elderly member of the group.

"FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU MAN! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Yeonjun barked. "LET GO OF ME, TAEHYUN! LET ME FUCKING AT 'EM!"

"Hey... What the fuck are you talking about, Yeonjun??" Beomgyu said, not trying to raise his voice. He stared at Yeonjun. His eyes looked like he'd been crying a river. Face all red. Tear stains were visible here and there on his flushed cheeks as new ones flowed down from his eyes once more. Pain and anger could be sensed in his voice.

"FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!" Beomgyu lunged at Yeonjun just then and punched his face.

"HEY HEY!" Huening yelled, trying to hold back Beomgyu.

"Look! If you have a fucking problem with me just say it, old man! Don't fucking bring Mia into this." Beomgyu snapped back.

"OHOHO! SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE BROUGHT INTO THIS. IT'S HER FAULT! FUCK HER!" Yeonjun's voice was so loud that it attracted some neighbors to come out of their houses and see what the fuss was about.

"Are you drunk? Whatever the problem is, Yeonjun, let's just calm down and talk it out. Let's try and fix thi---" Yeonjun got even more furious and shoved Taehyun's arms away from him and gave Beomgyu another punch. Taehyun quickly tried to pull him away from Beomgyu.

"FUCK OFF!! IT'S OVER!! NOTHING CAN FIX THIS!" Beomgyu glared at Yeonjun, questioning him. "SHE'S FUCKING GONE!"

"...what..? Who??" Beomgyu asked.

"Y/n....." Huening Kai mumbled, his grip on Beomgyu unwillingly loosened.

"What? Is she missing or something?" Yeonjun screamed in irritation at Beomgyu's statement.

"Oh? You don't fucking know???? MAYBE BECAUSE ALL YOU EVER CARED ABOUT WAS MIA. MIA MIA MIA MIA. FUCKING SHIT BEOMGYU." he paused. "Did you ever think about Y/n...?" Yeonjun's brows frowned in a way that showed more sorrow than anger, voice cracking and shaking as he spoke.

"I.... I don't get you, Yeonjun."

"SHE'S FUCKING DEAD, CHOI BEOMGYU. DEAD. DO YOU HEAR ME???" Beomgyu's body froze.

"...I don't understand... IM SORRY FOR YOUR FUCKING LOSS... But what does that fucking have to do with me and Mia, Huh!? Did she kill herself because she couldn't accept that I'm finally with someone!?" Yeonjun growled.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Yeonjun had enough and pushed Taehyun aside, pouncing on Beomgyu. Making him and Huening fall. Yeonjun was trying to punch Beomgyu's face but Beomgyu tried his best to block each punch with his arms as a shield.

"YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND ANYTHING BECAUSE THAT FUCKING PERFECT GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS HID THE TRUTH FROM YOU ON WHY SHE'S MOVING TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY." Beomgyu was staring at Yeonjun. Yelling out a "WHAT".

"She has a heart disease, Beomgyu. You're fucking girlfriend was about to die. IT WAS HER FAITH.... BUT FUCKING SHIT GYU!" Yeonjun sobbed, wanting to punch Beomgyu again but gave up, his face now buried in his hands. Beomgyu stayed silent. Speechless.

"Y/N CHANGED HER FAITH. SHE FUCKING GAVE HER HEART TO MIA. SO THAT SHE COULD LIVE ON AND BE HAPPY. SO THAT SHE COULD SEE YOU HAPPY, BEOMGYU." Huening and Taehyun gently pulled Yeonjun off of Beomgyu.

"SHE WAS FUCKING WILLING TO GIVE AWAY HER OWN FUCKING LIFE! JUST SO SHE COULD SEE YOU HAPPY! SHE WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY EVEN THOUGH IF YOU WERE IN THE ARMS OF SOMEONE ELSE!" Yeonjun broke down there, he screamed in pain whilst crying. "of all people... Why my sister... She doesn't deserve to go to heaven yet.. No no.... Fuck...."

Beomgyu stood up. Staring at Yeonjun in disbelief. He slowly inched closer to Yeonjun, hand reaching out for him. "Yeonjun, I...."

"Just go." Taehyun said coldly. Beomgyu had no choice. Gyu nodded and said sorry before walking away.

The next day, Yeonjun got the news that Beomgyu moved to a different country. He was sad that he lost a friend. But he'd already lost you. The treasure he promised to you and himself that he'd keep safe no matter what. But he failed. He now doesn't know whom he should blame.

--------------

Years passed and Beomgyu went back to his old house to visit his parents. Him and Mia ended things after a week of what happened last time he was here.

He wanted to visit Yeonjun and give him a proper apology, but he also realized that he owed you and apology too. He still had connections with Huening Kai after all these years so he knew where you were.

Once he reached the cemetery where you were, he looked around almost everywhere just to find you. And when he did, he felt chills run up his spine. He gulped and knelt down to the stone which had your name carved on it, a picture of You that was framed was also present near some candles that were about to go out any moment.

He stared at your picture, his heart ached, realizing how much he'd miss seeing you. How much he missed your voice. You smile. Your crazy laughs. He missed walking to school with you by his side. He was missing you.

Placing a rose on your tomb stone, you started to sob. He wasn't sure what the reason was. Was it pure out of guilt? Was he missing you that much?

"I'm really sorry Y/n.. I really am.. I.. It should've been me who did that.. I should've been the one whose gone. Not you. You don't deserve this. Y/n I-I... Fucking shit I miss you, goddammit..." he sniffled. "6 feet never felt so far..."

After pouring out his heart with all the things he wished he'd told you before, he took in a deep breath. He suddenly hugged your tomb stone, feeling a little stupid and crazy for it but he didn't care.

His tears flowed down his cheeks like a rushing waterfall. Falling down onto the candle, making the fire burn out. "This wasn't what I wanted..."

✒ End.

#txt fanfic #txt angst #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu #beomgyu angst #choi beomgyu #txt beomgyu #taehyun txt #kang taehyun #huening kai #txt huening kai #txt yeonjun #choi yeonjun #riri's writing<33 #zurimochi

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

AAAAAAAAAAH One Way by S.J. Jordan was SO GOOD! Going for the sequel next but pleasssseee do you have any show or movie recs??

AAAAAAAAAA I am so glad you enjoyed it! Feel free to scream at me about it ANY time. I think I may have to go and reread it now.

In regards to other recommendations... oooooh boy. I have so many. This took me a while because I was considering if this would be respectful to the strikes, but we haven't been told to stay away from any streaming services etc. yet, so after removing a scab from the recommendation list I decided to post it. Apologies in advance for the tangents I go on for every single recommendation. Some of these have been quite popular so you might know of them but it still felt worth mentioning.

Under the cut is a non-exhaustive list of media in no particular order that makes me want to eat glass. Take a shot every time I say heartbreaking.

Movies

Lord of the Rings 1/2/3 - I feel no need to explain myself. If you haven't seen this please for the love of god get your hands on the extended versions and watch them. Then read the books and watch the movies again. Rinse and repeat.

How to Train Your Dragon and How to Train Your Dragon 2 - You read that right, NOT the third movie. In this house the third movie doesn't exist. This is an animated movie and sequel based on the book it shares a name with by Cressida Cowel. The movie follows protagonist Hiccup who lives in a town of Vikings who hunt and kill dragons. He finds out that he can't kill a dragon he has caught, and is surprised when the dragon won't kill him either. His curiosity gets the best of him and he returns to watch the dragon in it's hideout, and a beautiful friendship emerges from a very messy situation. It doesn't happen often that a movie is better than the book, especially if the source material has been changed so drastically, but HTTYD pulls it off. The first movie was also my introduction to fandom, and both movies have an incredibly special place in my heart. Fun fact: I actually am the OP of a pretty popular fandom headcannon and it makes me giggle every time I see it be mentioned in the HTTYD tag.

Inception - Obligatory action movie. Heist movie except sci-fi and also everyone is queer and sexy (no it's not canon but it is canon to me). Conman Leo DiCaprio breaks into rich boy Cilian Murphy's dreams to convince him to give up his father's business in exchange for getting his criminal file wiped clean so he can see his kids again. I love sad dads and I love mind games and I love high stakes and I love time fuckery and I love mentally ill women. Watch it if you also do.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire - Perfect. Showstopping. Incredible. Does not pass the reverse Bechdel test. It is so incredibly hearthbreaking and soft and tender. Period drama with lesbians. Painter Noémi Merlant is hired to pretend to be a companion to Adèle Haenel while secretly painting her portrait to be sent off to a man she is being married off to. There is betrayal and trust and community and lust and it's so gorgeous to look at. The attention to detail is incredible and I want to kiss Céline Sciamma for bringing this movie to my screen. I cry every time I watch it. Queer heartache done right.

The Lake House - I don't know if this movie is actually that good but to me it is perfect. Contractor Keanu Reeves moves into a gorgeous lake house (my dream home) and starts receiving letters addressed to the previous owner and doctor Sandra Bullock. When he gets a letter from her with her new address and sees it's to a building that's still in development, the two skeptics come to the conclusion they are living years apart and their post box is some sort of portal. They fall in love, things go wrong, things go right, and there is a dog!

Series

Orphan Black - Listen. Listen. LISTEN. Tatiana Maslany. Wow. She plays a dozen (if not more) clones and I still have a hard time believing they weren't all different people. Trouble kid forced to be an adult because she is a mother sees herself jump in front of a train and uhhhh has issues with that. She then discovers there are so many others like her, that they were a part of a cloning project and that she is a bit of a special case. There is a lot of plot I cannot summarize but it's deliciously queer (one of the main character clones is a lesbian as well as two prominent gay side characters and other minor queer and trans characters). Found family, questions of what it means to love and of morality, some wonderfully written character arcs and a decently satisfying end. First few episodes can be a bit hard to get into, but Tatiana Maslany is incredible and the show is totally worth it.

Adventure Time - This is a big comfort show for me, not only because Marceline and Princess Bubblegum were one of my first queer ships ever, but also because I enjoy this show just as much as an adult. No real main story line, you could watch individual episodes and still follow it. There are some heavy themes, but they are always handled so wonderfully and with a true sense of childlike wonder, and it makes me have faith in humanity again. Finn the Human and Jake the Dog go on adventures together in a gigantic fantasy land and meet lots of interesting figures. Even the evil characters get attention, compassion, screen time, and dignity. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so so so good.

The Mentalist - Sorry, there is a cop show in here. Simon Baker is an ex 'psychic' grieving father and husband working as a consultant with the CBI. His boss, Robin Tunney, is so in love with him she looks stupid. It's basically a man who is too smart for his own good running around, being charming or extremely annoying, and an exhausted tough-love type of woman running around fixing his messes. Oh and they catch killers. I am a Patric Jane kinnie, sue me. Jane and Lisbon are also very Griddlehark to me, kind of a what could have been if they had been friends from the beginning.

Russian Doll - Have I ever mentioned how much I love Natasha Lyonne? This is a kind of sexier Groundhog Day, where Natasha Lyonne keeps dying and waking up in the bathroom of her friend throwing her a birthday party. She loses her mind in the midst of gorgeous scenes, seriously beautiful cinematography, and in sexy ass outfits. If you like mind fuckery, cinematography, and sexy women this is the show for you. It sure is the show for me.

Arcane - Speaking of gorgeous visuals, Arcane is a beast of a show with such an incredible and unique look. Also so many hot and/or gay women. There are a few men too, they're okay, I do like me a pathetic little guy so it works. But WOMEN. So many powerful, intelligent, cunning, courageous women. I have to admit that I remember very little of the storyline, but I do know that they took 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl', said "yes and", and made a truly incredible and multi dimensional character with Jinx, with fully fleshed out motivations and morals (or lack thereof), understandable but still properly wrong actions, and such incredible story building around her progressing mental troubles. Must watch.

The Sandman - This one is not technically an obsession I have ever had, but it is a great watch and rewatch. I adore Vivienne Acheampong as Lucienne and I adore Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer and I adore Kirby Howell-Baptiste as Death. I also love pretty much anything that comes out of Neil Gaiman's brain so that helps. Great casting is what makes this show a winner for me. Morpheus/Dream gets locked up by some insane guy trying to capture death to bring back his son and he spends the rest of the show dealing with the consequences of being gone for decades. Tom Sturridge is a wet cat of a man and I do like that a lot as well. Very pretty cinematography seals the deal.

Misc.

The Magnus Archives - Podcast wildcard. Horror and paranormal and delicious. I love voice actors so much and archivists are hot. Becoming something you didn't choose and dealing with the repercussions of no longer really being human is so !!!!!!! I love it when people just go through the horrors. Everyone's voices scratch something in my brain that nothing else can reach. Brilliant piece of media.

What Remains of Edith Finch - Game wildcard. Semi-sandbox semi-railroad narrative. Gorgeous visual representations of so many difficult things in life. Particularly, the bit where one of Edith's family members loses himself to his own imagination is so gorgeous and heartbreaking. I have written essays on the cinematography of this game. It is so beautiful. Whether you lay it or watch a playthrough, you have to witness this.

MISSED RECOMMENDATIONS ARE HERE

There you have it.

I am sure there is more and I am sure I will be hitting my head on a wall after remembering something I forgot to include. Anyway- enjoy!

#Ash Answers

[rolling-restart]

desecration [George Russel x Toto Wolff] - part. 4

*** This is a NSFW fic with BDSM and unhealthy relationship elements. If it’s something you want to avoid or you are minor, please scroll past. ***

Status: incomplete

Tags and content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of promiscuity, implications of eating disorders, age difference, elements of infidelity, angst, mentions of impact play, i don’t know how to tag it anymore.

Summary: George spends some time with Daniel but he cannot stop his mind from racing.

“THE ONES I HAVEN’T FUCKED UP YET”

Daniel leaned back on the sofa with a satisfied grunt.

“Well, this was phenomenal.”

George was watching him eat, no, inhale his meal for the past ten minutes. His plate was sitting on the coffee table, almost untouched. He didn’t feel like eating but he also didn’t feel like ruining Daniel’s mood. He ate a couple of fries to keep his hands busy and to create the illusion of eating.

He didn’t feel like touching the burger. It looked greasy and he felt like everything in it would fall apart if he dared to hold it. There wasn’t any cutlery either and he suspected that Daniel would kill him if he tried to eat a burger with cutlery.

“It indeed was.”

Daniel let a sigh and rubbed his stomach with a grin.

“Since I am practically unemployed for the next year, no one would mind me putting on a couple of pounds, huh?”

“You think Micheal would be okay with it?”

Daniel scoffed. He didn’t seem to notice the untouched plate.

“Nah, he even thinks I need to relax a little, after, you know…”

George tried to put on a sympathetic smile on his face. He didn’t feel pity for Daniel. On the contrary, he felt like things will end up working in his favour. His pity was only limited to himself.

“Aren’t you gonna eat that?”

“Uhh, I don’t think I will. Do you want it?”

Daniel threw him a sceptical look. It was a relief that he didn’t smile as much in private because George felt like there was something unsettling about his public smiles. This felt more authentic, more like a real person rather than a PR machine.

“Did you eat after the race?”

“Oh yes, one of that dietician approved boxes. You know, chicken and greens.” George lied.

Daniel nodded solemnly. George didn’t want to be fussed over and lying had always come easy to him. He also felt on edge a little, nothing to do with Daniel’s behaviour, though. Daniel had been more than relaxed and welcoming but there was an element of tension George couldn’t shake. Daniel hadn’t been suggestive or judgemental but George was making an over-the-top effort to be normal in his company. He always categorised his relationships as “the ones I fucked up” and “the ones I haven’t fucked up yet” and his relationship with Daniel was in the latter category. Daniel never showed him any questionable interest and he had always been more than gentle with him once they got to know each other better during the season. George was still slightly salty about him and Max laughing at him crying after receiving his first points but he managed to put it aside.

“Do you wanna watch something?”

George squinted his eyes. It wasn’t completely unexpected since they had spent time together and played video games before but it was never only them two. There was always Lando or Micheal accompanying them. George didn’t know why spending time with Daniel alone made him this anxious. He wasn’t an intimidating guy, on the contrary. He gave George a sense of comfort without patronising or babying him. Unlike Toto, George thought. When they don’t have sex, Toto liked to take care of George in every way possible. They never had long periods alone together but when they did, Toto liked to hand-feed him, bathe him or groom his hair. He even gave him a massage every now and then but he was so bad at it that it made George ache more than it relaxed him. He never told Toto that, but he usually declined the offer.

Something was magnetizing about Daniel. George didn’t find him especially attractive. Daniel was a conveniently attractive guy but George tend to be attracted to men and women who could handle him physically. Daniel, given that he was strong like other drivers, didn’t physically dominate George that much. Unlike Toto, George thought again.

This was a normal occasion. Something George was supposed to have while growing into a full adult. He never flirted with people his age nor pursued genuine romantic adventures as his peers did. Daniel wasn’t exactly his peer. He was nine years older than George but never let it affect their socialisation. Daniel was a person who could bond with anyone and George found a rare comfort in knowing that he wasn’t the most unconventional people Daniel was friends with. No, what he yearned for was a normal opportunity to flirt and discover the attraction. Toto was an all-encompassing figure in his life since George was nineteen and he prevented him from pursuing foolish age-appropriate romantic endeavours. Toto wasn’t his first but George discovered the majority of his sexuality with him.

It was funny that George didn’t know what was acceptable and what was completely unorthodox about their relationship because he had never been involved in another one. Sure, he had girlfriends now and then to appease the media and those girls were very nice people. It was always George who broke the relationship because they required basic signs of connection and intimacy and George couldn’t give it to them without going insane with the feeling of something crawling under his skin. No, he couldn’t receive any other type of intimacy than Toto gave him and it made George feel miserable. He was like a sheltered, inexperienced child except that shelter was the most perverted and twisted place. He didn’t know how to be touched without being hurt and he didn’t know how to love without giving everything of himself until he has nothing left.

“Sure, what do you wanna watch?”

“Hm, let’s browse first.”

Daniel chose a silly reality show on Netflix. George was grateful because he didn’t know what to do if he was forced to understand and comment. He was sitting at a chaste distance from Daniel on the couch, trying to look comfortable. Daniel couldn’t know how tense he was. Daniel didn’t seem too bothered with it, he was just enjoying the seemingly peaceful coexistence.

Halfway through the first episode, something odd happened. George was so focused on appearing relaxed that he only realised Daniel moved towards him at the last moment. Daniel wordlessly grabbed George’s legs, making him rotate on the couch with a surprised gasp. He placed his legs on his lap.

“That’s more like it. You looked uncomfortable.”

George couldn’t breathe for a second. Firstly, he couldn’t mask his tension as well as he thought he was since Daniel noticed it. Secondly, this impromptu contact made him nearly jump out of his skin. Was this something close friends would do? Was this flirting? George had no clue and losing control of the situation made him anxious.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal. If he wanted to, he could ask Daniel to let his feet go and he could go back to his previous state. However, George felt like it would come across as denying Daniel the proximity he wanted and took the risk of weirding George out for. George knew he was making it a bigger deal than it is but now his mind was racing with possibilities. He knew he couldn’t physically say no if Daniel wanted to do anything more. Or maybe he could. Daniel couldn’t have bad intentions about George, he wasn’t like that. He was just looking out for George and trying to make him more comfortable. Or even more, he might have been finding humour in this slightly homoerotic position they were in. Daniel would do that and George would never stop himself from tensing when he is the subject of those actions.

George managed to let out an approving hum. He could live with that. He could survive this scene without daydreaming about Daniel pounding him on the bed next to them. Would he deliberately bang George’s head against the headboard like Toto sometimes did? Would he be a gentle lover and treat George like a treasure?

George was trying to put these thoughts where they came from but they were swelling like a carelessly unpacked suitcase. Whatever he did, he couldn’t fit them back where they came from. To make the matters worse, Daniel started to caress his shins mindlessly while staring at the screen. George wondered whether he was actually watching the show or he was just trying not the get caught in the action of affection by George.

George always had to sit on Toto’s lap when they are lounging together. Not that he didn’t let George sit anywhere else but George couldn’t bear seeing Toto’s pouty face once he tried to put a distance between them. It cringed George unimaginably and he hated himself for being a killjoy for Toto. So he had to watch whatever they were watching while Toto’s semi-hard cock pressed against his probably already abused arse. He learned how to mask his disgust very well at that point. Being ever-desired should have been a nice feeling but it made George feel like a doll rather than an actual human being.

Disgust began to swell in his stomach with the rhythmic feeling of being caressed. Daniel’s touches were too soft, borderline unsettling. He couldn’t stay still any longer and, unfortunately, his right leg twitched a little. This made Daniel grab him by his shin to keep him in place.  Maybe Daniel didn’t know but it pushed George to a path that he couldn’t turn back from.

“Do you want to fuck or something?”

George wished he never had to ability to talk. The anticipation accumulated in his body became too much to bear and he couldn’t hold his tongue. He might have been wrong to think that Daniel had an ultimate aim with him. Since he was over-sexualised in his affairs, he always anticipated everybody wanted to eventually fuck him but now he felt like he might have misjudged the situation. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Daniel and when Daniel was involved in the conversation, he felt like he always pretend that it was an over-the-top joke.

Daniel’s mouth fell slack for a second before he managed to gather himself. The surprise wasn’t a good sign and George felt himself panicking at an alarming rate. Subsequently, he put on a signature smile of his and let out a chuckle.

“I mean, I would say buy me dinner first but I think we are past that stage.”

George forced himself to scoff in a relaxed manner but it came out more like a pained chuckle. Would Toto be mad if he knew George was propositioning other older men? Imagining his reaction made George shiver in delight because this was the only way he let himself hurt Toto. Handing his treasure to random people who would never cherish it as he would. He felt his friendship with Daniel was already in the “the ones I fucked up” category.

“It’s not a no.”

#🚩 #gr #tw #dr #george russel/toto wolff #george russel/daniel ricciardo #desecration: gr/tw fic #nsfw. #💥

[winterlovesong1]

Winter Rewatched Nancy Drew

Welcome to my first rewatch of my current favorite comfort show ❤️ Under the cut are my thoughts and a few insights I hope you enjoy - I’ll be going through each episode and posting these periodically with the tag winter rewatched Nancy Drew.

3x01 - The Warning of the Frozen Heart

One of my favorite things about this rewatch has been digging into the symbolism behind the episode titles. There’s always the obvious, oh this is reference to the case, but then there’s what’s behind it - like with this one, it’s literal, while at the same time referencing perhaps a group of “frozen” or closed off hearts. There’s Nancy’s heart that she’s protecting, knowing now that her feelings for Ace are more than platonic, and in her protecting those feelings, Ace is there to perhaps not heed her warning, but venture forth anyway - not pushing, but just being there, as he so often is, forgoing any disclaimer about her walls for what she needs - which is someone to tell her it’s their loss, your amazing, and be there for her if she needs proofreading. And then there’s Ace’s heart, as if his own heart is frozen to the idea that he could have more than platonic feelings for Nancy and yet, everything around him serves as a warning - like an eight ball saying all signs point to yes, but she’s so important in his life, he doesn’t want to risk it.

Overall MVP

I’m going with Nancy for this episode only because the arc she had to go on during this episode - she had to go from putting all her hopes onto this one dream of hers she’s had for so long, to that dream finally coming to a halt and the devastation that caused her - to realizing she can “grow where she’s been planted” - I mean that’s what we call character growth everyone!

(also for her to be patient with her feelings for Ace after he returned from his trip and the growth of her allowing him to help her, to comfort her, slowly finding her words...my baby girl is growing up)

Most Heartfelt Moment

The Fanson proposal hands down - the care and attention Nick put into it - getting all the details right - paying attention to what George would want - it’s nearly perfect. And then the line he says  “no matter what tries to get in our way, I am never saying goodbye to you - in this life or the next” - wow what a line - I tear up every time.

Best Overall Line

Special mention to when Nancy and Ryan go to Icarus and Nancy assures Ryan  “Don’t worry it only looks haunted” 

Show tagline alert.

(though the irony is most things are haunted...lol)

Best Comedic Moment

Ryan’s  “Like father daughter time” when Nancy asks him to join the case proceeded by him stumbling to put on his shoes is so adorable I can’t stand it.

And then Ace’s “Weirder things have happened...I can’t think of any right now.” I love him a normal amount <3

Scare Rating

This episode overall is pretty grotesque if you ask me - 10/10.

Nace Slow Burn Rating

In my analysis for this episode, I put how I thought the Columbia arc was also a metaphor for Nace this episode. Let me proceed to explain that.

So Nancy has had this dream, this idea, that she was going to go to the perfect school, go off to the city, and “find herself.” 

And Nancy has Ace, who was never at the forefront of her mind, he was always her friend who she maybe felt a spark for (hello 1x10, and 1x14) but she never let it cross over into anything more than that.

Then she has a literal dream - she enters a vivid dreamscape and she sees - she sees what she’s pushed down, what she’s never really accepted as truth, but it’s always been there resting in her heart - that he can hold her - that he can hold all her pieces - even the broken ones. 

Nancy had to go through an actual dream in order for her to realize he was always in her heart. And same with Columbia rejecting her. She had to go through the motions of a dream to realize she can grow from where she’s at - that her opportunity to settle into herself was never in some far off city, but was here in her hometown, it was always here in her heart - all along...

And just a moment to appreciate some of the Nace centric lines this episode -

“silence doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about you”

“some people like to ease into things before they get more serious ”

Favorite Fashion Moment

Nancy’s fashion this episode is on point. I think I loved every outfit.

Missing Moment Drabble

So I have two - one I wrote when I first watched the episode eons ago and another one I wrote just for this rewatch.

#winter rewatched Nancy Drew #nace #tv: nancy drew

[dragynkeep]

I think he saw your posts.

Why hasn't he blocked you yet?

oh he has me blocked, i guess he just can't take responsibility for himself. however big tw for transphobia / nbphobia, ableism, victim blaming & rape mention because actually looking at the post is a major yikes.

i don't care that you made an anti rwde post, crimson. i care that yet again you're using ableist terms & phrases, once again proving that alongside your "apology" for doing so was utterly conditional but that you also just. can't take responsibility for your own actions. no one is forcing you to go into the rwde tag or see our "cold takes", you need to manage your social media consumption better. no one is going to do it for you.

but also by reblogging a post dripping with radfem rhetoric that directly impacts those with bpd, especially genderqueer people with bpd, you've shown that so long as the views are right, you will platform terfs. & considering that you couldn't even believe that i was the target of the transphobic bigotry from the confessions blog you reblogged & not my trans brother, & you accused me of co-opting that when it was never directed at him in the first place, you need to realize how harmful your words & assumptions can be. you need to stop doubling down when you're proven wrong.

people like me are not why borderlines, not "bpd", get so much hatred. we're hated because neurotypicals & non cluster b neurodivergents think that we're fundamentally "non human" because of the way our disorders exhibit. there's multiple instances of just how these attitudes harm us & kill us, we're killed as a result of this ableism.

i haven't blamed anything on my bpd, i've actually been quiet about my mental health diagnosis outside of instances where i felt it helpful or supportive. you're the one pulling the "i have a black friend" in regards to your brother, friend & mother. i am not them. if you've met someone with bpd, you've met one person with bpd. we are not all the same & it's abhorrant you would use this as an opportunity to further stigmatize those with bpd after being told that the post you reblogged from a terf was from a neurotypical transphobic woman who exploited our experiences for money. you can't divorce the terf aspect from your "support" for the ableism, they're entwined.

also "stick your head in an oven" is certainly something to say to a jewish person but i'm definitely not going to assume any antisemitism & just ascribe it to the far more likely instance of you telling me to go kill myself. thank you for the suggestion but i'm fine.

this one was almost kind of funny because i was waiting for a self proclaimed rwby fan to use the instance of me having to flee my house in the middle of the night to escape a situation of domestic violence from the man who was supposed to love & raise me. the man who's same abuse was part of causing my bpd. right now i am homeless because that same bpd, alongside the physical disability i have that prevents me from moving for long periods of time, is the reason i don't "have a job."

you would think that someone who "had to relearn how to walk" would have more sympathy in this type of situation but once again you are proving that just because you are trans & disabled, does not mean that you cannot perpetuate transphobia or ableism. these screenshots & your vile words show that.

it's also hilarious that all 11 notes on your post are further comments of these vile words. it's all you, no one else wants to pay witness to this downward spiral of disgusting bigotry & hatred.

thank you for being inclusive in your unhinged tirade of insults, it really warms my heart after you reblog ableism from terfs against borderlines & prove that your "apology" a few weeks back was completely spineless.

i'm not engaging in your attempts to bring up any "rape smut" i have written, i implore you to see beyond whatever bubble you've trapped yourself in & actually read some literature on how these kinks occur & just how sex, gender & trauma play into it.

your brain damage does not allow you to perpetuate ableism against other disabled people; that's not how power reclamation works. this is not 'pc shit', these are legitimately harmful views you're espousing because you hate me that much, you think you're validated in doing this because i'm a "bad person." because i "deserve it." which unfortunately is the same technique of invalidation & dehumanization that plenty of bigots use, & will use against you.

i'm not angry with you, or pissed off. i was when all of this started weeks back & you invalidated the transphobia i faced, when you called into question my status as a rape survivor & when you refused to take any accountability for your ugly words.

now i just want you to find some peace & learn coping mechanisms that allow you not to blow up & harm other marginalized people whenever they bring up something harmful that you've done. all of this came from one ask that pointed out that you had reblogged harmful rhetoric from terfs, & all of this hatred came from it. what if i was in a worse place, like i was a week ago? what if i actually had killed myself? would you be able to live with that?

i don't think so either. do better.

#rwby #rwde #crimson-caracal #ableism #transphobia #nbphobia #victim blaming #ais.txt #answered #long post /

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Sorry in advance for any mischaracterization and other mistakes. Tag list is open if you would like to follow this story on here. Reblogs are much appreciated.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Norah wasn't sure what was coming over her as she spent some time in the Room of Requirement over the next few days. It was like she was feeling everything all at once. The grief from losing Professor Fig, the anxiety over what she planned to do, the stress from the amount of lessons she needed to take in for NEWTs, and that fluttering feeling she didn't know how to describe whenever she was near her two male housemates. The worst part of it was that she didn't know who to turn to. She felt mostly helpless.

Deek the house-elf, had taken it upon himself to tidy up the areas close to the vivariums while she concentrated on her lengthy Ancient Runes essay in the adjacent study area. Over the past several days, she came to the conclusion that she would need some help from a teacher on how to access the caverns and build up the repository again.

She first thought of Professor Sharp, a former auror turned Potions master. Maybe he could help her regain entry. Then again, there was also Professor Hecat, who was an Unspeakable at the Ministry for some time. But she also knew that Professor Weasley was also a curse-breaker during her time and Professor Ronen was the Charms teacher for a reason. All of them would be of help. Telling all of them would be risky as they would be inclined to tell the headmaster what would happen.

But she knew that they of all people, would understand the gravity of the idea the most. They came to her rescue when the goblins invaded the caverns that day, including Natty's mother, Divination Professor Onai. Norah looked at the four other drafts of letters she planned to send to each of the professors she thought of, in the hopes that at least one of them would be able to help her. Would that have seemed shameless? She thought.

With a sigh, she reached over the drafts and tore up the pieces of parchment before pointing her wand at it. Professor Ronen introduced the lesson of mastering non-verbal spells for NEWT-level students, and she was able to at the very least, master Evanesco. The torn up pieces of parchment vanished and she put her wand down again to continue writing her essay.

She suddenly heard a soft rumble in the room, and out of nowhere appeared a table that was already laden with food, from mashed potatoes, sausages, cheeses, bread, buttered vegetables, and soup. The room seemed to figure out what she needed, and she had only just remembered to eat.

Norah put her quill down and got up from her seat to approach the table. She hurried over to the hallway to check where the house-elf was. "Deek? Deek!" She called out.

Deek soon appeared, walking toward her. "Yes, Miss?"

Norah smiled. "Join me for a meal. It suddenly came up," She gestured to the spread. "I only remembered to eat just now, and I know I won't be able to finish these," She laughed.

Deek smiled. "Deek thought Miss hasn't eaten yet, so I asked some to bring food here."

"Deek..." Norah raised a brow. "Well, as a thank you, you have to eat with me, I really can't finish all of these."

The house-elf hesitantly approached the spread but before Norah could interject, with a snap of his fingers, his own spread appeared laid out on a mat on the floor, with a small bowl of soup and a piece of bread. "Your food is best shared with your friends."

"And you're my friend, Deek, I want to share all of this with you," Norah pointed out, picking up the plate to place servings of sausages, mashed potatoes, and buttered vegetables. Deek snapped his fingers again, and pitchers of pumpkin juice and water appeared next to her goblet. "Deek!" She laughed, and the house-elf looked amused by her reaction.

They heard the sound of something shifting, and before Norah could tuck in, they heard the voices of Sebastian and Ominis. "You've been hiding yourself away in here all week. What's gotten into you?" The brunette boy asked, suddenly helping himself to the food when Deek conjured up more plates and cutlery.

"You were supposed to help me with my Ancient Runes essay too," Ominis added, suddenly pointing his wand towards the food. "Oh, something smells delicious..."

"Please help yourselves," Norah said. "Deek was kind enough to have these sent up here for me."

"So, care to explain yourself? You've been acting weird all week," Sebastian continued to press as he tucked in on her right side while Ominis sat himself on her left.

"I've just had a lot on my mind lately. Been thinking about things, is all," She muttered in between spoonfuls of vegetables and mashed potatoes.

Sebastian glanced at her while he took a drink of pumpkin juice. "Like?"

"Like all these lessons I have to learn, and other things. I'll talk about those other things some other time," She made sure to point out. "Don't worry, I've just been quite busy."

"It's not a bad thing to ask for help, Lee," Sebastian's expression changed into that of concern. Ominis also had a concerned look on his otherwise neutral expression. "You act like we haven't gone through what we went through last year. At least talk to us if you can't tell the others."

She wanted to tell them. She knew he was right. But she didn't exactly know how to explain what she was thinking about, what she was feeling at that moment. It was when Ominis reached out to touch her hand that made her snap out of her thoughts. "Norah?" He asked, as if tacitly pleading.

"You've done everything no other student possibly could last year. It's safe to say that you need to let off some steam, and I don't mean just shutting yourself inside this room and feeding and brushing those beasts you keep in those vivariums over there," Sebastian tilted his head toward the hall that led to the main room.

But before she could speak, she saw her owl fly inside and drop a letter at the table. Norah could immediately recognize the handwriting. It was from Lucan, telling her to come up to the clock tower courtyard to oversee a round of Crossed Wands. "This will have to wait, it's Crossed Wands time, you ready, Sallow?" She grinned, getting up.

Ominis frowned and nearly devoured the remaining food on his plate before getting up. "I'm holding you to that, Lee."

"Why haven't you had a go in Crossed Wands, Ominis?" Norah asked curiously.

"Yeah, why haven't you had a go in Crossed Wands?" Sebastian teased his friend.

"Tempting, but no, I think my being visually-challenged is one reason why I could never go for that," The young Gaunt replied.

She rolled her eyes. "You literally fought inferi with me. You can't use your blindness as an excuse. If anything, you have as much of a chance at winning this year's tournament. Besides, Sebastian could partner with you. Or even Natty," She suggested.

"Or even you," Ominis grinned. "If I join, will you be my partner? Do we have a deal?" He said.

Norah held out her hand. "Deal. If you join, I can partner with you. Shake on it."

Sebastian looked intrigued, a shit-eating grin on his face as he followed them out of the room. "Now that I am looking forward to."

Natty, Poppy, and Amit were at the clock tower courtyard when the three of them showed up. The sight of Norah entering led to whispers among the other students, all of whom hopeful to advance in the tournament. Lucan looked especially excited upon seeing them.

"The Crossed Wands duellist to beat!" Leander called out with a grin on his face, followed by Grace.

"Here she comes! The reigning champion!" Lucan announced.

"A few second, third, and fourth years are looking to duel this time, I hear," Natty told them as soon as they gathered in one corner. "I say they have an unfair opponent with Hector Jenkins and Charlotte Morrison giving it another go this time around. Astoria Rickett bested some yesterday."

"They can put up a fight, yeah," Norah nodded, immediately seeing Lucan gesture for her to come over. "Hello Lucan, how are you?" She said.

"I'm doing very good. Mind giving our potential duellists some pointers?" He asked, his voice loud enough for all of them to hear.

"Use what you've already been taught, I guess," Norah shrugged. "If you're unsure, Lucan can set you up with a training dummy to practice. That's how I was able to do well. Oh, and good luck, Charlotte and Hector are really good."

The young Gryffindor's cheeks turned pink. Hector and Charlotte smiled at the compliment. Lucan cleared his throat to snap himself out of it. "Alright! Wands at the ready! Whoever's left standing wins!" He declared.

Norah returned to where Sebastian and the rest of the group were standing, including Ominis, who was listening intently to the spells being thrown around the room. Lucan even had to shield himself when a levitating charm bounced off Hector. Leander quickly ran behind the doors when a blasting curse was fired, sending Charlotte flying back a few feet from where she was standing, her robes scorched.

"Whoa, quite bold of them to use confringo in their initiation round," Sebastian commented. "I would've thought they kept to levitation and disarming charms."

Natty looked impressed. "They must have learned on their own."

"I wonder what Professor Hecat would think of that, I think she knows about Crossed Wands," Poppy muttered.

"Better just confringo than bombarda. We wouldn't want this tower to break down," Norah said, and they hummed in agreement.

"There are defensive charms all over the castle. They'll be fine," Sebastian said.

The duel was a close one, with Lucan watching so intensely at how everything unfolded. Unfortunately, the pair of second years were defeated, with Charlotte and Hector exchanging high fives while shaking hands with the students. Astoria Rickett and Leander were next in going against the pair of third years looking to join.

"That was a close one, second years, better luck next year," Lucan assured them as they left.

"You think they were trying to impress you?" Ominis teasingly asked Norah, who wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

"More like the rest of you," She retorted. She noticed one of the second years, a Ravenclaw girl, kept glancing at Sebastian before and after the duel. Sebastian, unfortunately, didn't seem to notice.

"But we're no heroes of Hogwarts," Natty pointed out.

Violet McDowell, one of the Slytherin prefects, had posted a notice on the common room's bulletin board that evening. The first of the many house parties was going to take place in two weeks. Word had soon got out to the rest of the students that it wasn't surprising that even the teachers had some idea. With the exception of Professor Black, who was too absorbed in his own affairs than that of the school.

It was upon the announcement of the party that Norah found out about how exclusive house parties were in Hogwarts. Sure, they were unsanctioned, yet the prefects and head boy and head girl looked the other way when it came to it. Even Gladwin Moon, despite serving as caretaker, kept mum on the parties as he would see those nights as a time for an extended stop at the Hog's Head. But students, including prefects, from the other houses, needed to know someone from the house throwing a party to be able to enter the common room.

"Brilliant, the first party's in two weeks," Sebastian nodded. "All of these NEWTs are doing my head in."

"I'm so looking forward to letting myself go by then," Grace sighed. "I'm guessing we're bringing in some barrels of butterbeer?"

"Obviously."

"Maybe a few bottles of firewhisky while we're at it," Grace was grinning. "We'll just need to endure a few weeks of homework and lessons first."

"I heard Garreth Weasley's planning on introducing his new brew at the first party too. Coincidentally, the first party's at the Gryffindor common room," Sebastian chuckled. "I'm looking forward to that."

Norah suddenly appeared, having returned from the Room of Requirement with her rolls of parchment and quill in tow. "Garreth told me about the party on the way back here. Seems like you're all excited," She noticed Sebastian.

"Who wouldn't be?" The male replied. "Weasley ask you about the ball yet?"

The question made Grace look intrigued. Norah shook her head. "I think the party's all he's thinking about now, despite what Natty's been saying."

The mention of Weasley made Norah realize the answer to the question she was thinking about earlier. If there was a teacher who could help her somehow, who knew the details of what Professor Fig told her, it would be Professor Weasley herself. She immediately knew what to do. She could only hope Professor Weasley could agree to it.

Sebastian looked at her curiously, already sensing that she had something up her sleeve. "What are you on about now?" He asked.

"I just realized something. Can you put this in my room for me? I'll be back," Norah handed him her things before running back up the staircase going out of the common room.

Grace and Sebastian watched her leave. "Where else is she going now?" The blonde pondered.

"I don't know," Sebastian could only say, yet he had an idea as to what it was. He went up to the girls' dormitories, being careful to freeze the stairs first in case it would turn into a slide. Knowing where Norah's bed was, he placed her things on top of the trunk before running toward the boys' dormitories, where Ominis was dozing off. "Hey, we need to get the others. I think I know what she's been up to."

The doors of Professor Weasley's office quietly opened and Norah peeked inside, seeing the Transfiguration teacher herself, having anticipated her coming in, with a smile. "Hello Miss Lee," She said.

"Professor, do you have a moment?" Norah closed the door behind her and sat down when Professor Weasley gestured to the chair.

"Of course, what is it?"

"Last year, when you and the other professors came into the caverns, Professor Fig, told you everything?"

"Yes, he did. He told me everything and the reasons why you've been leaving the castle ever so often on his behalf. What about it?" She asked.

There was no other way to say it. "Professor, I would like to return to the caverns and rebuild that repository. It is what Professor Fig would've wanted, what many others who have died in Ranrok's hands wanted. I'm prepared to rebuild the repository, it's full of the pain, pain that Isidora Morganach took from her students without their consent, and turned into power. It will be opened again once we've learned enough of it."

Professor Weasley stared at her, nodding slightly at the explanation. Norah could feel her eyes well with tears the more she explained. "Are you sure you want to do this? " She asked quietly, her expression softening. "That is the most important question to ask."

Norah nodded. "This power, which I feel, is becoming too much. It's like I'm feeling everything at once. Like all the pain, all the grief, I'm honestly getting overwhelmed and I have my work cut out for me," She said.

"You were made to do something you should never have to do at your age when you faced Ranrok and his loyalists. It's not your fault things are the way they are," Professor Weasley said. "A heavy burden was placed on your shoulders, when all you should be thinking about is your magical education. I'm glad you came to me about this. What can I do to help you?"

She let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, professor. I would like to return to the caverns and reform that repository. I have the wand that can reopen the doors to that repository. All we need to do is rebuild it and contain all of it. I know I cannot do it alone," Norah explained.

"And you won't have to. Let me know when you plan on returning, and I shall meet you at the entrance to the map chamber," She said.

"Yes, thank you, professor," Norah nodded, getting up from the chair and turning to leave.

"Miss Lee?"

Norah turned around, hand poised on the door. "Yes?"

"Let others help you. You needn't carry this on your own."

"Understood, professor. Thank you."

Norah stepped out into the Transfiguration courtyard when she saw the concerned faces of her friends. "You could've asked us for help, you know, talked to us," Sebastian's arms were crossed.

"I know, and I'm sorry-"

"Never do something like what you're planning to do by yourself," Natty chimed in.

Ominis, however, looked the most calm while trying to calm his best friend down with a pat on the shoulder. "What did Professor Weasley say? Did she agree?" He asked.

"She did."

The young Gaunt nodded. "Good. I'm glad she agreed to whatever you asked. We can talk later if you'd rather not say anything right now."

"Thank you," Norah turned to the rest of them. "So, the party?" She tried to shift the subject.

The mention of the upcoming event made each of them smile. "Hey, I have an idea, why don't we look for another table?" Amit suggested. "Looking at the stars can be relaxing."

"Is that why you're often up at the Astronomy Tower?" Poppy raised a brow. "Or you've been holding back on asking Samantha to the Yule Ball?"

"She does seem interested in you, Amit," Norah added. "...But, do you even want to take her to the ball?"

"I-I don't know yet," The Ravenclaw shrugged. "If the stars says it will be, then I will."

Natty chuckled. "You sound like my mother."

Amit frowned. "That will be in my memoir, just you all wait."

"And you've never even said if you liked her or not," Sebastian grinned. He turned to Norah. "Anyway, I got the edition of the evening prophet. Looks like Harlow was last seen near Keenbridge. He looked quite ghastly, according to people who spotted him. But he killed a few people who tried to call the authorities for help."

The mention of Harlow's name made Norah stand up straight. She immediately knew what to do. "Alright, I've heard people nearly become shells of their former selves," She said.

"I heard that place can really suck the happiness out of someone. With all those dementors guarding the cells," Poppy shuddered at the thought. "Those that are imprisoned there do end up becoming shells of their former selves...like devoid of any happiness or soul. Like those angry dugbogs under Ranrok's powers, or that dragon that attacked your carriage."

"It's hard to think someone like Harlow would have a soul to begin with. Him and his poacher pack have been torturing and killing beasts for sport," Natty pointed out with a frown. "If he is anything like Rookwood, and I'm sure he is, he won't stop until he acquires the power he once had. Even if it means coming after Norah or any of us again."

Ominis sighed. Norah patted his shoulder. "Then all the more we must stay here. As long as we're in Hogwarts, no harm can come to any of us," He said. "We're all safe here."

Norah wanted to do just that, but she knew in her heart that she couldn't walk away from a fight that would be laid out for her sooner or later.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy angst #hogwarts legacy fluff #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #garreth weasley #leander prewett #amit thakkar #andrew larson #natsai onai #poppy sweeting #imelda reyes

[baekuras]

not me telling my boss i threw up and his suggestion being to take meds against diarrhea the specific one being the one i took on accident a few years back during my period in a hazen panic of pain starting at my internship and being in the worst pain i don't even remember anymore and just passing out the second i got home (up to my bed though) fully clothed

i was fine when i woke up again but dear god no i am NOT ever taking it if i have any other gut issues except for diarrhea no, stomach aches or twists do not count

also don't worry I am not actually sick It's a lie that sounds better than "I am actually feeling exhausted because I slept like 16 hours during one night of the weekend, then only up to 5 if I am lucky today, I feel like my life is wasting away and all I can do is sit there paralyzed because I don't even have the energy to go look for something-anything else"

if i am not overly petty i might join in a few hours because my coworkers are not at fault and understaffed but also...the comment made me salty because how do I go "Hey my guts are shit, I threw up-not feverish though don't worry it's fine, but it's not done yet" and you go "just pop in unrelated medical pills and join us soon" just the SOON is making my brain itch a bad way

whaddoyoumean sOON i called in NOW because there isn't a SOON if i knew there was a SOON i'd have mentioned it do not just assume that

more ranting beyond the line because i need to vent some and the tags will cut it off eventually

fun medical facts about ME :D diarrhea takes me about an hour-if it's bad maybe two-to subside enough for me not to run to the toilet every few minutes and start eating and keeping in food and water (might be able to eat tiniest pieces of toast before that-depends) (food here also means toast, i'd be fucked if i ate anything more substansial)

so i'd assume it's the same with throwing up I can't really use the last times I threw up because Last time I did that for like 5hours in 20 to 30minutes intervalls and I don't really remember much The time before was way back during my first period which I also don't remember much of....well anything except me crying and panicking, shugging apple juice to comfort myself only to throw it up and my mother feeling happy for me that I got my period while I just felt like dying so...not reliable sources

but just the casual assumption that i'll throw in some pills and join them in like 10minutes after opening or something just....grinds my gears just fuck off or i will get angry enough to actually throw up

again i do plan to join at least before 3pm for the sake of my coworkers (one shift ends at 3) but god fucking help him if he uses my overtime for the time I am away if he does i WILL leave and get sick-leave for that day and I will go tell my doctor i am pretty damn sure i am burnout-adjacent because I either just sleep or am at work and i'd really like to be able to do anything else in my free time thanks :D

#txts #tl;dr: just fuck off #we already had our regional manager be all 'did you take a pain killer' when i left during the workday AFTER doing work only i was qualifie #to do that day AFTER already being in pain the past weeks because a tooth was just open and about #so i have gotten preeeeeeeetty sensitive to people being all #why don't you just take a pill and come to work anyway #I have already given you the fucking kindness of offering to join later/being there at all #do NOT take that for granted #or i WILL fuck you over by not coming super short notice like today #also he can be salty all he wants that i didn't call before 8am #i am not/barely awake then #my alarm starts at 8 and i am not gonna set it an HOUR early or smth #just to check every day if my body is up to it or not

[pluraladvice]

hello!! we have two questions, if thats okay: (if you dont want to answer either of these or one of these thats fine!! any advice is appreciated /gen) -is it possible for a headmate to create another headmate from them being hyperfixated on the character + thinking about the character a lot + wanting a fictive of a character? our horror sans fictive watched a lot of underverse and other au stuff, decided she wanted a fresh sans fictive because she finds fresh sans hilarious, and thought about them so much yesterday i got the intense urge to draw them for a few hours despite not being an undertale fan myself, and i felt an intense...prescence? i suppose, and now this morning fresh is actually talking to us. -if that is possible, how do you deal with being fakeclaimed for it? to keep things as short as possible, i get anxious very easily and getting fakeclaimed would make that really bad, and my fear of that has made this situation a bit worse. i dont think it would happen, but if it did i would like to be prepared for it.

thank you so much!! ^_^ -Basil

Yes that is very much possible. Other headmates can split other headmates or can cause walk ins or can cause spiritual connections! It happens often and all the time!

As for fakeclaiming, unfortunately it does and will happen. There's always going to be places like systems cringe and their ilk who have no real knowledge on the matter but want to pretend that they do. The best you can do for yourself? Block. Block the tags, block antis, avoid the places you know will have those people. We purposefully don't post as a system on tiktok because majority of systems on tiktok are antis who just can't keep their mouths shut about it. Filter your comments. Use those things that social medias have given you to be able to curate your experience and curate it. Tumblr has a filter system, tiktok has a filter system for comments and I THINK they have a filter system for videos now too but I haven't used it yet tbh, idk about Twitter we straight up refuse to use Twitter period so that's something you would have to figure out on your own. When it does happen? Just block them. Don't engage. Don't even bother reading the full message. Just block them or delete the comment or both. They are not worth the time. They don't know you or your system and they certainly don't have the knowledge or understanding of systems and the like to say whether any of this is true. We've had four separate therapists and while we are traumagenic (as far as we're aware completely but could be only mostly as we're not 100% sure) that we've mentioned endogenic systems to just talking about antis and complaining and they all have am agreement that other people do not get to decide what is actually going on inside another person's head and the field of psychological study is entirely based on observation, rather than observation + testing that observation/theory based on said observation. You are the deciding factor in what is and is not happening to you. Not some random on the internet. Block them, filter the words you need to, stay away from the community areas that you know they thrive in. Those are the best things you can do.

#endo safe #plural advice #pro endo #plural community #plural gang #plural help #pluralgang

[moultinmush]

Part 1# A Fandom Worse Than It's Content: A Reitanna Seishin Multi-Part Explanation

As of composing this post, it's been almost over 4 years since it began—The hate has long since simmered down from it's previous boil. The informed I do not doubt are lost on why I'm not letting sleeping dogs lie—Why on this God's green earth another person is discussing any matter related to Reitanna yet again.

To start off, this blog isn't a discussion on Reitanna—But one about the unspoken part of her fandom's history that's been left unarchived, and arguably, purposely buried. Threw a series of posts, i'll be going in-depth on where her loyal haters came from in early 2020. I will do my best to be brief, and to the point. This is a emotionally heavy subject for me, so apologies if I stray away from just facts on occasion. (Read Trigger-Warnings & Post Guide Here)

(Art by Reitanna Seishin)

It was 2019, late September. Reitanna finds her channel hacked after clicking on a spam pop-up saying her channel was under threat of being shutdown. Reasonably, she panicked and clicked the link—But because of that, she found herself locked out of her own channel with a stranger posting Donald Trump propaganda videos on her account.

Following the hack, Detective Scary would make a video on the topic—Bellow is a reupload, left unlisted and with it's comments turned off: This is due to this purely being evidence of events.

Another video created was by Here For Nothing, this video was just a general discussion of events and what at the time thoughts were.

We intersect here, and leave Reitanna behind—As during this period, none of the above was known by fans, or a fan creator who at the time went by Kara Mendoza. She would create a short 2-3 minute video announcing the hack, and the creation of a discord server for fans to join and offer support.

Many confused fans would join and try to peace together what had happened—And whether or not they could help. This included myself, who was 15 during that period. The server was a welcoming place, as fans were eager to get to know each other. You could often find discord calls filled with a good 6-7 people in them at a time.

I'd meet almost everyone i'll be talking about there, and despite my at the time anxiety at the circumstances—I was excited at the potential of getting to make new friends. It felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself, something important. I think many of us felt that way.

The server owner would continue with her Reitanna update videos—But Reitanna's channel would end up being a backdrop compared to the situation that would begin to rapidly unfurl.

Most knew about the Kiwi Farms, Reitanna herself did too—No one agreed with it's existence however (no fans, anyways.) But they'd learn to care that it existed at all as the fan server would be raided, and everyone would soon need to server hop.

Detective Scary would be found out to be a Kiwi Farmer (See screenshot above) whether they had a hand in the server raid I do not know. All I can say is to me they seemed impartial and more of a spectator instead of an active instigator. They deleted the video above, and after that I never heard about them again.

Clownfish345 was someone who went by the tag ''Dank Memes'' on Discord. I mention this, as they will be mentioned later. But for now just know them as the one who leaked the servers invite onto the forum at the beginning.

Before we continue, I do not stand deadnaming or misgendering. I do not care how much I or anyone else hate these people, everyone deserves respect. Mandi does not go by Kara anymore (At least that's what I've heard threw the grapevine) So in all the other posts that is how she will be referred to, I only said her deadname at all so people would know who I am talking about.

Along with that, if I am contacted about an event being misrepresented I will do my best to either exclude, or include information as needed.

Next ->

#reitanna seishin #Youtube